Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

Read our huge collection of riddles. These funny jokes are sure to make you LOL!

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Q. What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday?
A. "Thank you, I will never part with it."

Q. Why couldn't they play cards on the ark?
A. Because Noah sat on the deck!

Q. Why did the bird go to the restaurant?
A. Because he wanted a tweet!

Q. Why is England the wettest country?
A. Because the queen has reigned there for years!

Q. What is coming but never arrives?
A. Tomorrow.

Q. What comes down but never goes up?
A. Rain.

Q. What goes through towns and hills but never moves?
A. Roads.

Q. What is something you will never see again?
A. The past.

Q. What gets broken without being held?
A. A promise.

Q. What school do planets and stars go to to study?
A. UNIVERSity!

Q. Why did the Advil go to jail?
A. Because it was a pain killer.

Q. Did you hear what happened down at the fish shop?
A. The fish got battered!

Q. What is the fastest country in the world?
A. Russia.

Q. How many letters are in envelope?
A. One.

Q. What kind of motorcycle does a pig drive?
A. A hog!

Q. What jumps higher than a building?
A. Everything, buildings don't jump.

Q. Why is the ice rink so cold?
A. There are a lot of fans there.

Q. What tree do fingers grow off of?
A. A palm tree!

Riddles continue below video…

Q. What has 3 feet but cannot walk?
A. A yardstick!

Q. Why should you never shower with a pokemon?
A. Because they Pikachu (peek at you).

Q. What kind of music does a mountain like?
A. Rock music!

Q. Which letter of the alphabet has the most people in it?
A. Q (queue).

Q. Why did the bee feel cold?
A. Because it is in the middle of A and C.

Q. What are the strongest days of the week?
A. Saturday and Sunday because all the rest are WEAK days!

Q. What is in fingers, toolboxes and snails?
A. Nails!

Q. Where did the mother monster put her child when she was at work?
A. At day-SCARE!

Q. What country has the most church bells?
A. BELLgium!

Q. What vegetables can't you take on a boat?
A. Leeks!

Q. What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
A. One is really heavy. The other is a little lighter.

Q. What's the best thing about elevator jokes?
A. They work on so many levels.

Q. What happened to the wind?
A. It blew away!

Q. What does the sun skate on?
A. Solarblades!

Q. What garden has the most vegetables?
A. Flash garden!

Q. What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A. A synonym roll.

Q. Why didn't the lifegaurd save the hippie?
A. Because he was too far out, man.

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