Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

Read our huge collection of riddles. These funny jokes are sure to make you LOL!

Q. Why did the baker go to jail?
A. Because he got caught beating the eggs.

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Snowflakes!

Q. Where can you always find happiness?
A. In a dictionary!

Q. Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A. Because they are always a little short!

Q. What letter of the alphabet is an insect?
A. B.

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. You are trapped in a room and there are 3 doors. Each door has something behind it. The first door has two hungry lions that have not eaten in four years. The second door has electric lasers all across the room. The third has three ninjas ready to attack. Which door would you pick to go through?
A. The first because the lions would be dead if they have not eaten for 4 years!

Q. What's the richest kind of air?
A. Billionaire.

Q. What does the pink panther do with his camera?
A. He takes PINKtures!

Q. What kind of witch lives at the beach?
A. A sandwich.

Q. Which fish costs the most?
A. A gold fish!

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. Why did the duck cross the road?
A. Because it thought it was a chicken.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
A. A creamy quacker!

Q. Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
A. If he flew over a bay he'd be called a bagel!

Q. What comes twice in a week, never in a month and once in a year?
A. The letter E.

Q. What do you get when you cross a monkey and a pansy?
A. A chimpansy.

Q. Why was the Egyptian confused?
A. Because someone told him his daddy was a mummy!

Q. What did the pig put on his rash?
A. OINKment!

Q. Why did the orange lose the race?
A. Because it ran out of juice.

Q. Where do horses go when they are sick?
A. HORSEpital.

Q. What disappears when you turn the light on?
A. The dark!

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. What runs but never walks?
A. Water.

Q. What did the hat say to the scarf?
A. "You can hang around. I'll just go on a head!"

Q. What has 6 eyes but cannot see?
A. Three blind mice.

Q. Why don't ducks tell jokes when they are flying?
A. Because they just might quack up.

Q. There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?
A. A watermelon!

Q. What 10 letter word starts with gas?
A. An A-U-T-O-M-O-B-I-L-E.

Q. What is a mouth that won't shut up?
A. A blabber mouth.

Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.

Q. What can you catch but not in your hands?
A. A cold!

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A. Time to get a new fence.

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No idea. (No eye deer)

Q. Why did the willow weep?
A. Because it saw the water fall (waterfall).

Q. What do you call a train full of toffee?
A. A chew-chew train!

Q. What kind of motorcycle does a pig drive?
A. A hog!

Q. What is something you will never see again?
A. The past.

Q. What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
A. Jurassic Pork.

Q. What goes up a chimney down, but doesn't go down a chimney up?
A. An umbrella.

Q. What kind of car does a cow drive?
A. A CATTLEac.

Q. Why did the firefighter put his belt on?
A. To hold his pants up!

Q. Why doesn't a bald man need any keys?
A. Because he doesn't have any locks!

Q. Q. Rail road crossing, watch out for the cars, can you spell that with out any Rs?
A. T-H-A-T.

Q. What is an astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard?
A. The space bar!

Q. As I get older, I become shorter. What am I?
A. A pencil!

Q. What two candies are the smartest?
A. Smarties and Nerds.

Q. What is the most musical part of your body?
A. Your nose, you can blow it and pick it.

Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. A penguin doing 100 push ups.

Q. What letter of the alphabet has the most water?
A. The letter C!

Q. What runs around a house but never moves?
A. A fence.

Q. Which pillar is not used in a building?
A. A caterpillar.

Q. What is the only question you can never answer honestly with a yes?
A. "Are you asleep?"

Q. How do you spell mousetrap with ONLY three letters?
A. C-A-T!

Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Q. Where can you find a 3 foot ruler?
A. At a yard sale.

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. What cheese is not yours?
A. Nacho Cheese.

Q. What do polar bears like to snack on?
A. Eskimo thighs.

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