Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

Read our huge collection of riddles. These funny jokes are sure to make you LOL!

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
A. A creamy quacker!

Q. What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A. A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.

Q. What did the jelly say to the peanut butter?
A. "We make a good match!"

Q. What has lots of teeth but can't chew a thing?
A. A comb!

Q. How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?
A. Rock-it.

Q. Which fish costs the most?
A. A gold fish!

Q. What do you call a fairy that hasn't taken a bath?
A. STINKerbell.

Q. Why did the Advil go to jail?
A. Because it was a pain killer.

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. What did the Malteeser want to be when it grew up?
A. A Smartie.

Q. How do you keep someone in suspense?
A. I'll tell you tomorrow.

Q. What do you call a dog who wins a race?
A. A weiner.

Q. What did the creek say to the brook?
A. "Stop babbling!"

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. What sits outside all year long and is Irish?
A. Paddy O'furniture.

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. Why did the star go to the bathroom?
A. It had to twinkle!

Q. What is a snowman's favorite food?
A. Ice Krispy treats.

Q. What's a cat's favourite magazine?
A. A CAT-alogue.

Q. What did the traffic light say to the car?
A. "Don't look. I'm changing!"

Q. How do you know when an Irish person is happy?
A. When they are Dublin over with laughter!

Q. What is green and sings?
A. Elvis Parsley.

Q. How do you make a swordfish like the library?
A. Take away the S in its name!

Q. What did the paper cowboy say to the pencil cowboy?
A. "Draw."

Q. What is black and white and read all over?
A. A newspaper.

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. What do T-shirts love to play?
A. Tag.

Q. What goes up but does not go down?
A. Your age!

Q. What kind of animals do clocks have?
A. Ticks.

Q. Why did the doofus climb the glass wall?
A. So he could see what was on the other side.

Q. What is as light as a feather but not even the strongest man in the world can hold it for more than a few minutes?
A. Air!

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A. What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?

Q. What is an astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard?
A. The space bar!

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. Why did the nose cross the street?
A. He was getting picked on!

Q. What is the end of everything?
A. The letter G.

Q. Why was Cinderella thrown off the football team?
A. Because she ran away from the ball!

Q. How come a cheetah can't play hide and seek?
A. Because he's already been spotted.

Q. Why did the cookie cry?
A. Because his mother was a wafer too long!

Q. What time does a duck wake up?
A. At the QUACK of dawn.

Q. What do you do when your fish is off?
A. You tune it up!

Q. What was the name of Noah's wife?
A. Yesa!

Q. What do you call an an ant sticking out of the ground?
A. A plANT!

Q. What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
A. "You go on without me, I'll ketchup!"

Q. What did the volcanoes name their daughter?
A. MAGMAlena.

Q. What is the only question you can never answer honestly with a yes?
A. "Are you asleep?"

Q. What does a surprised iceberg say?
A. "Goodness Glacius!"

Q. What are the strongest days of the week?
A. Saturday and Sunday because all the rest are WEAK days!

Q. What do you call a train full of toffee?
A. A chew-chew train!

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.

Q. There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?
A. A watermelon!

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. What do you call a snail on a ship?
A. A snailor.

Q. What do you call a door that is cute?
A. ADOORable!

Q. Why is the ice rink so cold?
A. There are a lot of fans there.

Q. What makes songs but never sings?
A. Notes.

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