Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Valentine Jokes

We've got lots of funny Valentine jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A. "I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand."

Q. What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
A. "I lava you!"

Q. Are you a triangle?
A. 'Cause you sure are acute! ;)

Q. Why did the frog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to show his girlfriend he had guts.

Q. What happened to the bed bugs who fell in love?
A. They got married in the spring.

Q. What did one raspberry say to the other on Valentine's Day?
A. "I love you berry much."

Q. What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A. "I love BOO!"

Q. Why did the rooster cross the road?
A. He wanted to impress the chicks!

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because her boyfriend was on the other side.

Q. Why did the rooster get a tattoo?
A. He wanted to impress the chicks!

Q. Who did Dracula take to the movies?
A. His GHOUL friend.

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. What do bunnies do when they get married?
A. Go on a bunnymoon!

Q. Who did Dracula bring to the prom?
A. His ghoul friend.

Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A. Any old girl he can dig up.

Q. What flower gives the most kisses on Valentines Day?
A. Tulips.

Q. What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
A. Ouchy, mama!

Q. How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
A. It gave her a ring!

Q. Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
A. Sure, they're very scent-imental!

Q. What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
A. Hog and kisses!

Q. What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A. Forget-me-nuts.

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
A. "I find you very attractive."

Q. What did one oar say to the other?
A. "Can I interest you in a little row-mance?"

Q. What did the snake say to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day?
A. "Give me a little hiss."

Q. Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
A. Yes, they're very scent-imental!

Q. Why do Valentine's have hearts on them?
A. Because brains would be pretty gross!

Q. What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?
A. A hug and a quiche!

Q. What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
A. You're fun to hang around with.

Q. Why did the cats get married?
A. They were PURR-fect for each other!

Q. What did the lightbulb say to his girlfriend?
A. "I love you a whole watt!"

Q. How does cupid visit his girlfriend?
A. On an arrow-plane!

Q. Why are angel marriages so good?
A. Because they live harp-ily ever after.

Q. What do you call the world's smallest Valentine's Day card?
A. A Valen-teeny!

Q. What did the slug say to her boyfriend on Valentine's Day?
A. "Will you be my Valen-slime?"

Q. Why did the boy send his girlfriend's Valentine through twitter?
A. Because she was his tweetheart.

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog with a valentine card?
A. A card that says, "I love you drool-ly"!

Q. What did the elephant say to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day?
A. "I love you a ton."

Q. What do you get when you kiss a dragon on Valentine's Day?
A. Third degree burns on your lips.

Q. Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
A. Because its got heart.

Q. What do you call two birds in love?
A. Tweet-hearts!

Q. What do squirrels give each other for Valentine's Day?
A. Forget me nuts!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you. (I love you)

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Luvs
Luvs who?
Luvs you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cheese
Cheese who?
Cheese a cute girl

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sherwood
Sherwood who?
Sherwood like to be your valentine!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Howard
Howard who?
Howard you like a big kiss?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me, honey!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Franks
Franks who?
Franks for being my friend!


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