Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

St Jokes

We've got lots of funny St jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
A. Rude-olph!

Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.

Q. Who is Frosty's favorite aunt?
A. Aunt Artica!

Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels.

Q. What did the Easter Bunny say to the carrot?
A. "It's been nice gnawing you!"

Q. Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?
A. Because they are short tempered!

Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!

Q. Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato?
A. To keep from falling in the stew!

Q. What do you get when you do the Irish jig at McDonalds?
A. A Shamrock Shake!

Q. How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been?
A. Eggs mark the spot!

Q. Which elf was the best singer?
A. ELFis Presley.

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. How did the Easter Bunny rate his favourite restaurant?
A. Egg-cellent!

Q. Why were the kids afraid of Christmas?
A. Because of Santa Claws!

Q. What kind of music do bunnies like?
A. Hip Hop.

Q. What do you get if you pour boiling hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. Hot cross bunnies.

Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
A. Shocking.

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. How did the leprechaun beat the Irishman to the pot of gold?
A. He took a short cut!

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa and a dog?
A. Santa Paws!

Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster.

Q. Why was the ghost on the cheerleading squad?
A. It wanted to add a little team spirit.

Q. What does a panda ghost eat?
A. Bam-BOO!

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!

Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.

Q. What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?
A. He gets wet!

Q. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A. Because you can see right through him.

Q. What happened to the Easter egg when it heard a funny joke?
A. It cracked up!

Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
A. Boo!

Q. Why didn't the ghost go boo?
A. Because it had no guts.

Q. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
A. Real rocks would be too heavy!

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
A. Tinsilitis!

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
A. Santa-Claws!

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!

Q. What bow can't be tied?
A. A rainbow.

Q. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A. Nothing, reindeer can't talk.

Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!

Q. What do wrestler's drinks come in?
A. Six packs!

Q. What kind of bunny can't hop?
A. Ones made of chocolate!

Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
A. MONSTERizer!

Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.

Q. What happened to the Easter Bunny when he was naughty at school?
A. He was eggs-pelled!

Q. When does the leprechaun cross the road?
A. When it's green!

Q. What did the astronaut say when he saw bones on the moon?
A. "Obviously the cow didn't make it."

Q. How do rabbits travel?
A. By HAREplanes.

Q. Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A. Because they are always a little short!

Q. What did the crocodile say to the waiter in the cafe?
A. I want bacon, eggs, and toast and make it SNAPPY!

Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"

Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!

Q. How do you catch a rabbit?
A. Make a noise like a carrot.

Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
A. Snow.

Q. Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
A. MaliBOO!

Q. What is a dentist's favourite game?
A. Tooth or Dare!

Q. What does a ghost keep in its stable?
A. Nightmares.

Q. Where will you always find a leprechaun?
A. In the dictionary!

Q. What kind of mail does a superstar vampire get?
A. Fang mail.

Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!

Q. What time do you go to the dentist?
A. Tooth hurty!

Q. What would you get if you crossed a leprechaun with a frog?
A. A little man having a hopping good time!

Q. If a rooster laid a white egg and a brown egg, what kind of chicks would hatch?
A. None. Roosters don't lay eggs.

Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!

Q. Where did the ghosts go for vacation?
A. Mali-BOO.

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an oyster?
A. The oyster bunny.

Q. What kind of stories do rabbits like best?
A. Ones with hoppy endings.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Easter
Easter who?
The Easter Bunny!

(Sing) Stay on the sunny side, always on the sunny side, stay on the sunny side of life, of life. May it cause you no pain, may it drive you insane, stay on the sunny side of life, of life.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Easter
Easter who?
Easter bunny.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
More
More who?
More Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Even more
Even more who?
Even more Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Car
Car who?
Car come and run over the Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Easter Egg
Easter Egg who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
The Easter Bunny!

Jokes

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand?
 

Customer: There is a fly in my soup.
Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

When the dentist had a appointment with his friend it was at 2:30.
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Now I lay my head to rest
A pile of books upon my chest
If I shall die before I wake
That's one less test I have to take.
 

There was a really dumb girl and she failed a test. Her teacher wanted her to come in after school and make it up. On the note home to her parents the teacher wrote: Make up test.
The following day the girl brought lipstick and eye shadow to school.
 

Dad: Why is your test score so low?
Girl: Because of absence.
Dad: You were absent?
Girl: No, the girl next to me was.
 

Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth?
Boy: I don't know?
Teacher: Think of the apple story.
Boy: I know, Granny Smith!
 

Patron: Waiter, what's this Praying Mantis doing in my soup?
Waiter: Saying grace.
 

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had.
Latangela: What did the lion do?
LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
 

There was a man carrying a lobster. His friend said, "What are you doing with that lobster under your arm?"
The man replied, "I am taking him to dinner."
The lobster spoke out, "I already had dinner, can we go to the movies instead?"
 

Once there were two chocolate bunnies and one had their ear bit off. One said, "Happy Easter."
"Huh?" Said the other.
 

A man walks into a dental office and says to the dentist, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentist says, "What!"
The man says, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentists says, "You need a phsycologist, not a dentist. Why'd you come in here?"
The man says, "Because your light was on."

 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup."
The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

Dentist: Stop making a face, I haven't even touched your teeth .
Tommy: I know, but you're stepping on my foot!
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Tongue Twister: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk but the stump thunk the skunk stunk!
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 


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