Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

St Jokes

We've got lots of funny St jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the strawberry cross the road?
A. Because his mom was in a jam!

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. How do you know Santa is good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!

Q. Where will you always find a leprechaun?
A. In the dictionary!

Q. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
A. A poor horse is going barefoot!

Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"

Q. What does a bunny rabbit do in the rain?
A. Get wet!

Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
A. Tinsilitis!

Q. Why did the rooster cross the road?
A. He wanted to impress the chicks!

Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!

Q. A rabbit hops by IHOP. He looks at the sign. What does he say?
A. "Big deal, so do I."

Q. What happened to the Easter egg when it heard a funny joke?
A. It cracked up!

Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."

Q. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A. Nothing, reindeer can't talk.

Q. Who is Frosty's favorite aunt?
A. Aunt Artica!

Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A. Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?!

Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!

Q. Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?
A. Because they are short tempered!

Q. Why do we paint Easter eggs?
A. Because it's easier than wallpapering them.

Q. What is big, red and flies in the sky?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. Why can't you iron a four-leaf clover?
A. Because you should never press your luck!

Q. Why was the ghost on the cheerleading squad?
A. It wanted to add a little team spirit.

Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost and a goblin?
A. I don't know, but it doesn't sound good to me!

Q. What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A. A sham-rock!

Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels.

Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!

Q. Why does Rudolph have a red nose?
A. Because he sneezes a lot!

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.

Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.

Q. Why did the Easter Bunny join the gym?
A. To get lots of Eggs-ercise!

Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!

Q. Where do ghosts get their mail?
A. At the ghost office.

Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed Krabby Patty.

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!

Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!

Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.

Q. What did the crocodile say to the waiter in the cafe?
A. I want bacon, eggs, and toast and make it SNAPPY!

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. When does the leprechaun cross the road?
A. When it's green!

Q. What do you do when you see a ghost?
A. Run away of course!

Q. What sits outside all year long and is Irish?
A. Paddy O'furniture.

Q. Why did the vampire give up acting?
A. Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.

Q. What bow can't be tied?
A. A rainbow.

Q. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A. "Spook when you're spooken to."

Q. You are dreaming. A monster comes up to you and takes you away. He puts you in an oven and turns it on. Any moment he will be eating you. What should you do?
A. Pinch yourself.

Q. Why don’t you see dinosaurs at Easter?
A. Because they are eggs-tinct!

Q. Which elf was the best singer?
A. ELFis Presley.

Q. What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?
A. He gets wet!

Q. Why did the rooster cross the road?
A. The chicken was sick.

Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
A. Comet.

Q. What do you call a dentist in the army?
A. A drill sergeant.

Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!

Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!

Q. Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A. A scare centre!

Q. What is an astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard?
A. The space bar!

Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.

Q. Why did the rooster get a tattoo?
A. He wanted to impress the chicks!

Q. Where does the Easter bunny eat breakfast?
A. IHOP.

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been?
A. Eggs mark the spot!

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa and a dog?
A. Santa Paws!

Q. How does a rabbit throw a tantrum?
A. He gets hopping mad.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
A. Boo!

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. Where did the mother monster put her child when she was at work?
A. At day-SCARE!

Q. What pants do ghosts wear?
A. BOO jeans.

Q. What room can't ghosts go in?
A. The LIVING room!

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Easter
Easter who?
The Easter Bunny!

(Sing) Stay on the sunny side, always on the sunny side, stay on the sunny side of life, of life. May it cause you no pain, may it drive you insane, stay on the sunny side of life, of life.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Easter
Easter who?
Easter bunny.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
More
More who?
More Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Even more
Even more who?
Even more Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Car
Car who?
Car come and run over the Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Easter Egg
Easter Egg who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
The Easter Bunny!

Jokes

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand?
 

Customer: There is a fly in my soup.
Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

When the dentist had a appointment with his friend it was at 2:30.
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Now I lay my head to rest
A pile of books upon my chest
If I shall die before I wake
That's one less test I have to take.
 

There was a really dumb girl and she failed a test. Her teacher wanted her to come in after school and make it up. On the note home to her parents the teacher wrote: Make up test.
The following day the girl brought lipstick and eye shadow to school.
 

Dad: Why is your test score so low?
Girl: Because of absence.
Dad: You were absent?
Girl: No, the girl next to me was.
 

Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth?
Boy: I don't know?
Teacher: Think of the apple story.
Boy: I know, Granny Smith!
 

Patron: Waiter, what's this Praying Mantis doing in my soup?
Waiter: Saying grace.
 

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had.
Latangela: What did the lion do?
LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
 

There was a man carrying a lobster. His friend said, "What are you doing with that lobster under your arm?"
The man replied, "I am taking him to dinner."
The lobster spoke out, "I already had dinner, can we go to the movies instead?"
 

Once there were two chocolate bunnies and one had their ear bit off. One said, "Happy Easter."
"Huh?" Said the other.
 

A man walks into a dental office and says to the dentist, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentist says, "What!"
The man says, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentists says, "You need a phsycologist, not a dentist. Why'd you come in here?"
The man says, "Because your light was on."

 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup."
The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

Dentist: Stop making a face, I haven't even touched your teeth .
Tommy: I know, but you're stepping on my foot!
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Tongue Twister: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk but the stump thunk the skunk stunk!
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 


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