Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

St Jokes

We've got lots of funny St jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A. "Spook when you're spooken to."

Q. What do wrestler's drinks come in?
A. Six packs!

Q. When does the leprechaun cross the road?
A. When it's green!

Q. What Jedi can you eat?
A. Obi Wan Cannoli!

Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!

Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.

Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?
A. Just long enough to reach the ground!

Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!

Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men would stand out in the snow without a coat.

Q. Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?
A. Because they are short tempered!

Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!

Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
A. Shocking.

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!

Q. Why did the Easter Bunny join the gym?
A. To get lots of Eggs-ercise!

Q. Why did the rooster cross the road?
A. Because he wasn't a chicken.

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
A. Rude-olph!

Q. Why was the ghost on the cheerleading squad?
A. It wanted to add a little team spirit.

Q. What time do you go to the dentist?
A. Tooth hurty!

Q. What do you call a rabbit with the sniffles?
A. A runny bunny.

Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Q. What did the astronaut say when he saw bones on the moon?
A. "Obviously the cow didn't make it."

Q. Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A. Because they are always a little short!

Q. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?
A. Dead ringers.

Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.

Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. If a rooster laid a white egg and a brown egg, what kind of chicks would hatch?
A. None. Roosters don't lay eggs.

Q. Who is Frosty's favorite aunt?
A. Aunt Artica!

Q. What do you do when you see a ghost?
A. Run away of course!

Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
A. Snow.

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. What does a ghost keep in its stable?
A. Nightmares.

Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.

Q. What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
A. Silent Night.

Q. What did the father Easter egg do when the mother Easter egg told him a joke?
A. He cracked up!

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...

Q. You are dreaming. A monster comes up to you and takes you away. He puts you in an oven and turns it on. Any moment he will be eating you. What should you do?
A. Pinch yourself.

Q. What do bunnies do when they get married?
A. Go on a bunnymoon!

Q. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A. "Long time no see."

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster.

Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.

Q. What kind of music do bunnies like?
A. Hip Hop.

Q. What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?
A. He gets wet!

Q. What did the crocodile say to the waiter in the cafe?
A. I want bacon, eggs, and toast and make it SNAPPY!

Q. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
A. Real rocks would be too heavy!

Q. Why did the vampire give up acting?
A. Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!

Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
A. Comet.

Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.

Q. Why were the kids afraid of Christmas?
A. Because of Santa Claws!

Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.

Q. Why didn't the lobster share his plankton with his dad?
A. Because he was a little shellfish!

Q. Why didn't the bunny hop?
A. No bunny knows.

Q. Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?
A. To the living room!

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. Why did Frosty have a carrot in his nose?
A. Because he forgot where the refrigerator was.

Q. How do phantoms travel?
A. Ghost to ghost.

Q. How do you kill a unique rabbit?
A. You neak up on it.

Q. How do you kill a unique rabbit?
A. You neak up on it.

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. A rabbit hops by IHOP. He looks at the sign. What does he say?
A. "Big deal, so do I."

Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.

Q. What room can't ghosts go in?
A. The LIVING room!

Q. Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
A. MaliBOO!

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A. A sham-rock!

Q. What kind of mail does a superstar vampire get?
A. Fang mail.

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost and a goblin?
A. I don't know, but it doesn't sound good to me!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Easter
Easter who?
The Easter Bunny!

(Sing) Stay on the sunny side, always on the sunny side, stay on the sunny side of life, of life. May it cause you no pain, may it drive you insane, stay on the sunny side of life, of life.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Easter
Easter who?
Easter bunny.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
More
More who?
More Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Even more
Even more who?
Even more Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Car
Car who?
Car come and run over the Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Easter Egg
Easter Egg who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
The Easter Bunny!

Jokes

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand?
 

Customer: There is a fly in my soup.
Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

When the dentist had a appointment with his friend it was at 2:30.
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Now I lay my head to rest
A pile of books upon my chest
If I shall die before I wake
That's one less test I have to take.
 

There was a really dumb girl and she failed a test. Her teacher wanted her to come in after school and make it up. On the note home to her parents the teacher wrote: Make up test.
The following day the girl brought lipstick and eye shadow to school.
 

Dad: Why is your test score so low?
Girl: Because of absence.
Dad: You were absent?
Girl: No, the girl next to me was.
 

Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth?
Boy: I don't know?
Teacher: Think of the apple story.
Boy: I know, Granny Smith!
 

Patron: Waiter, what's this Praying Mantis doing in my soup?
Waiter: Saying grace.
 

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had.
Latangela: What did the lion do?
LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
 

There was a man carrying a lobster. His friend said, "What are you doing with that lobster under your arm?"
The man replied, "I am taking him to dinner."
The lobster spoke out, "I already had dinner, can we go to the movies instead?"
 

Once there were two chocolate bunnies and one had their ear bit off. One said, "Happy Easter."
"Huh?" Said the other.
 

A man walks into a dental office and says to the dentist, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentist says, "What!"
The man says, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentists says, "You need a phsycologist, not a dentist. Why'd you come in here?"
The man says, "Because your light was on."

 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup."
The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

Dentist: Stop making a face, I haven't even touched your teeth .
Tommy: I know, but you're stepping on my foot!
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Tongue Twister: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk but the stump thunk the skunk stunk!
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 


 We also have jokes about…