Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

St Jokes

We've got lots of funny St jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?
A. To the living room!

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. Where do beavers and hamsters live together?
A. Hamsterdam.

Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!

Q. What is an astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard?
A. The space bar!

Q. Why did the vampire give up acting?
A. Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.

Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.

Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?
A. Dead ringers.

Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa and a dog?
A. Santa Paws!

Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.

Q. What did the father Easter egg do when the mother Easter egg told him a joke?
A. He cracked up!

Q. Why did the rooster cross the road?
A. The chicken was sick.

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!

Q. Why can't you iron a four-leaf clover?
A. Because you should never press your luck!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my carrots!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Jokes

Tongue Twister: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk but the stump thunk the skunk stunk!
 

Now I lay my head to rest
A pile of books upon my chest
If I shall die before I wake
That's one less test I have to take.
 

When the dentist had a appointment with his friend it was at 2:30.
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Customer: There is a fly in my soup.
Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup."
The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 


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