Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

St Jokes

We've got lots of funny St jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!

Q. Where will you always find gold?
A. In the dictionary.

Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.

Q. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?
A. Dead ringers.

Q. What did the little ghost say to his mom?
A. "I've got a boo boo."

Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?
A. He gets wet!

Q. How does the Easter Bunny paint all the Easter eggs?
A. He hires Santa's elves during the off season.

Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?
A. Ghoul-aid!

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.

Q. What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A. A list of everything you want!

Q. Why do frogs and alligators like St. Patrick's Day?
A. Because they are already wearing green!

Q. Why did Frosty have a carrot in his nose?
A. Because he forgot where the refrigerator was.

Q. Why does Rudolph have a red nose?
A. Because he sneezes a lot!

Q. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A. "Long time no see."

Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.

Q. Where will you always find a leprechaun?
A. In the dictionary!

Q. What do wrestler's drinks come in?
A. Six packs!

Q. Which elf was the best singer?
A. ELFis Presley.

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. Why are ghosts always hungry?
A. Because the food goes right through them!

Q. When does the leprechaun cross the road?
A. When it's green!

Q. What kind of mail does a superstar vampire get?
A. Fang mail.

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!

Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A. The trombone.

Q. How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been?
A. Eggs mark the spot!

Q. What stories does the Easter Bunny like best?
A. The ones with happy eggings!

Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.

Q. How does a rabbit throw a tantrum?
A. He gets hopping mad.

Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"

Q. Where does the Easter bunny eat breakfast?
A. IHOP.

Q. Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A. A scare centre!

Q. Where did the ghosts go for vacation?
A. Mali-BOO.

Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!

Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!

Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.

Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. SPOOKgetti!

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. What happens when a ghost haunts a theatre?
A. The actors get stage fright.

Q. The peak on my house is going east and west and slopes North and South. A rooster is on the peak and lays an egg, which way did the egg roll?
A. Roosters don't lay eggs

Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.

Q. What does a ghost call his mom and dad?
A. His transparents.

Q. What is an astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard?
A. The space bar!

Q. Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
A. MaliBOO!

Q. What do you call a rabbit with the sniffles?
A. A runny bunny.

Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.

Q. Why did the leprechaun cross the road?
A. To get to the pot of gold.

Q. Why did the vampire give up acting?
A. Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. Why do rabbits eat carrots?
A. Because they don't want to be nearsighted!

Q. You are dreaming. A monster comes up to you and takes you away. He puts you in an oven and turns it on. Any moment he will be eating you. What should you do?
A. Pinch yourself.

Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!

Q. What bow can't be tied?
A. A rainbow.

Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. Why did the ghost join the team?
A. They needed more spirit!

Q. How did the rabbit cross the road?
A. He hopped he could.

Q. What kind of bunny can't hop?
A. Ones made of chocolate!

Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!

Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.

Q. What did the father Easter egg do when the mother Easter egg told him a joke?
A. He cracked up!

Q. Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?
A. Because they are short tempered!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Easter
Easter who?
The Easter Bunny!

(Sing) Stay on the sunny side, always on the sunny side, stay on the sunny side of life, of life. May it cause you no pain, may it drive you insane, stay on the sunny side of life, of life.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Easter
Easter who?
Easter bunny.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
More
More who?
More Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Even more
Even more who?
Even more Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Car
Car who?
Car come and run over the Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Easter Egg
Easter Egg who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
The Easter Bunny!

Jokes

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand?
 

Customer: There is a fly in my soup.
Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

When the dentist had a appointment with his friend it was at 2:30.
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Now I lay my head to rest
A pile of books upon my chest
If I shall die before I wake
That's one less test I have to take.
 

There was a really dumb girl and she failed a test. Her teacher wanted her to come in after school and make it up. On the note home to her parents the teacher wrote: Make up test.
The following day the girl brought lipstick and eye shadow to school.
 

Dad: Why is your test score so low?
Girl: Because of absence.
Dad: You were absent?
Girl: No, the girl next to me was.
 

Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth?
Boy: I don't know?
Teacher: Think of the apple story.
Boy: I know, Granny Smith!
 

Patron: Waiter, what's this Praying Mantis doing in my soup?
Waiter: Saying grace.
 

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had.
Latangela: What did the lion do?
LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
 

There was a man carrying a lobster. His friend said, "What are you doing with that lobster under your arm?"
The man replied, "I am taking him to dinner."
The lobster spoke out, "I already had dinner, can we go to the movies instead?"
 

Once there were two chocolate bunnies and one had their ear bit off. One said, "Happy Easter."
"Huh?" Said the other.
 

A man walks into a dental office and says to the dentist, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentist says, "What!"
The man says, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentists says, "You need a phsycologist, not a dentist. Why'd you come in here?"
The man says, "Because your light was on."

 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup."
The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

Dentist: Stop making a face, I haven't even touched your teeth .
Tommy: I know, but you're stepping on my foot!
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Tongue Twister: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk but the stump thunk the skunk stunk!
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 


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