Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

St Jokes

We've got lots of funny St jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why do we paint Easter eggs?
A. Because it's easier than wallpapering them.

Q. What sits outside all year long and is Irish?
A. Paddy O'furniture.

Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men would stand out in the snow without a coat.

Q. Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A. Because they are always a little short!

Q. What kind of bunny can't hop?
A. Ones made of chocolate!

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.

Q. What do you call a dentist in the army?
A. A drill sergeant.

Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...

Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. SPOOKgetti!

Q. What did the father Easter egg do when the mother Easter egg told him a joke?
A. He cracked up!

Q. What do wrestler's drinks come in?
A. Six packs!

Q. What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A. A sham-rock!

Q. What kind of stories do rabbits like best?
A. Ones with hoppy endings.

Q. What did the astronaut say when he saw bones on the moon?
A. "Obviously the cow didn't make it."

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"

Q. There is a restaurant that is shaped like an oval. Inside there are waiters, a chef, a hostess, and a janitor. The restaurant opens and later that night the lights go off. Then when the lights turn on everyone except the staff is dead. So, the next day an investigator comes and asks people what they where doing that night. He asked the waiters what they were doing and they said, "Serving customers."
He asked the chef, and the chef said, "He was cooking."
Then he asked the janitor and he said he was sweeping in the corners.
Who killed everyone?
A. The janitor, because there are no corners in a circular restaurant!

Q. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A. "Spook when you're spooken to."

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. What time do you go to the dentist?
A. Tooth hurty!

Q. How do you know Santa is good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!

Q. How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?
A. Rock-it.

Q. What bow can't be tied?
A. A rainbow.

Q. How do you kill a unique rabbit?
A. You neak up on it.

Q. How do you kill a unique rabbit?
A. You neak up on it.

Q. Why does Rudolph have a red nose?
A. Because he sneezes a lot!

Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost and a goblin?
A. I don't know, but it doesn't sound good to me!

Q. How does Easter end?
A. With an R!

Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
A. Boo!

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.

Q. What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an elephant?
A. Great big holes all over Australia.

Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!

Q. What do you get if you pour boiling hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. Hot cross bunnies.

Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!

Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.

Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."

Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. Why did the starfish breakup with the lobster?
A. Because he was SHELLfish.

Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!

Q. What animal has a crown on its head?
A. A rooster.

Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.

Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
A. Comet.

Q. What Jedi can you eat?
A. Obi Wan Cannoli!

Q. Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?
A. Because they are short tempered!

Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.

Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!

Q. What do you get if you cross poison ivy with a
four leaf clover?
A. A rash of good luck!

Q. If a rooster laid a white egg and a brown egg, what kind of chicks would hatch?
A. None. Roosters don't lay eggs.

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an oyster?
A. The oyster bunny.

Q. Why are ghosts always hungry?
A. Because the food goes right through them!

Q. How do rabbits travel?
A. By HAREplanes.

Q. Why is the Easter Bunny so smart?
A. He's an egghead.

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A. The trombone.

Q. What is an astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard?
A. The space bar!

Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?
A. Just long enough to reach the ground!

Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!

Q. Where will you always find gold?
A. In the dictionary.

Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"

Q. What do ghosts wear on their feet?
A. BOOts.

Q. Why did the rooster cross the road?
A. He wanted to impress the chicks!

Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.

Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.

Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
A. Snow.

Q. What does a ghost keep in its stable?
A. Nightmares.

Q. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?
A. Dead ringers.

Q. How do phantoms travel?
A. Ghost to ghost.

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.

Q. Where did the mother monster put her child when she was at work?
A. At day-SCARE!

Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!

Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Easter
Easter who?
The Easter Bunny!

(Sing) Stay on the sunny side, always on the sunny side, stay on the sunny side of life, of life. May it cause you no pain, may it drive you insane, stay on the sunny side of life, of life.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Easter
Easter who?
Easter bunny.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
More
More who?
More Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Even more
Even more who?
Even more Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Car
Car who?
Car come and run over the Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Easter Egg
Easter Egg who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
The Easter Bunny!

Jokes

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand?
 

Customer: There is a fly in my soup.
Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

When the dentist had a appointment with his friend it was at 2:30.
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Now I lay my head to rest
A pile of books upon my chest
If I shall die before I wake
That's one less test I have to take.
 

There was a really dumb girl and she failed a test. Her teacher wanted her to come in after school and make it up. On the note home to her parents the teacher wrote: Make up test.
The following day the girl brought lipstick and eye shadow to school.
 

Dad: Why is your test score so low?
Girl: Because of absence.
Dad: You were absent?
Girl: No, the girl next to me was.
 

Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth?
Boy: I don't know?
Teacher: Think of the apple story.
Boy: I know, Granny Smith!
 

Patron: Waiter, what's this Praying Mantis doing in my soup?
Waiter: Saying grace.
 

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had.
Latangela: What did the lion do?
LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
 

There was a man carrying a lobster. His friend said, "What are you doing with that lobster under your arm?"
The man replied, "I am taking him to dinner."
The lobster spoke out, "I already had dinner, can we go to the movies instead?"
 

Once there were two chocolate bunnies and one had their ear bit off. One said, "Happy Easter."
"Huh?" Said the other.
 

A man walks into a dental office and says to the dentist, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentist says, "What!"
The man says, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentists says, "You need a phsycologist, not a dentist. Why'd you come in here?"
The man says, "Because your light was on."

 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup."
The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

Dentist: Stop making a face, I haven't even touched your teeth .
Tommy: I know, but you're stepping on my foot!
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Tongue Twister: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk but the stump thunk the skunk stunk!
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 


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