Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

St Jokes

We've got lots of funny St jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
A. MaliBOO!

Q. What happened to the Easter Bunny when he was naughty at school?
A. He was eggs-pelled!

Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.

Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!

Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!

Q. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A. Because you can see right through him.

Q. You are dreaming. A monster comes up to you and takes you away. He puts you in an oven and turns it on. Any moment he will be eating you. What should you do?
A. Pinch yourself.

Q. Where did the ghost go on vacation?
A. The BOO-hamas!

Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa and a dog?
A. Santa Paws!

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Q. What do bunnies do when they get married?
A. Go on a bunnymoon!

Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.

Q. Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?
A. Because they are short tempered!

Q. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A. Nothing, reindeer can't talk.

Q. What do you get if you pour boiling hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. Hot cross bunnies.

Q. Where will you always find a leprechaun?
A. In the dictionary!

Q. Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A. Because they are always a little short!

Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
A. Santa-Claws!

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. What is the cleanest reindeer called?
A. Comet.

Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A. Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?!

Q. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
A. Real rocks would be too heavy!

Q. There is a restaurant that is shaped like an oval. Inside there are waiters, a chef, a hostess, and a janitor. The restaurant opens and later that night the lights go off. Then when the lights turn on everyone except the staff is dead. So, the next day an investigator comes and asks people what they where doing that night. He asked the waiters what they were doing and they said, "Serving customers."
He asked the chef, and the chef said, "He was cooking."
Then he asked the janitor and he said he was sweeping in the corners.
Who killed everyone?
A. The janitor, because there are no corners in a circular restaurant!

Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. SPOOKgetti!

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.

Q. How did the Easter Bunny rate his favourite restaurant?
A. Egg-cellent!

Q. What animal has a crown on its head?
A. A rooster.

Q. What would you get if you crossed a leprechaun with a frog?
A. A little man having a hopping good time!

Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."

Q. What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A. A sham-rock!

Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!

Q. Why are ghosts always hungry?
A. Because the food goes right through them!

Q. Where does the Easter bunny eat breakfast?
A. IHOP.

Q. How does the Easter Bunny paint all the Easter eggs?
A. He hires Santa's elves during the off season.

Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men would stand out in the snow without a coat.

Q. What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A. "I love BOO!"

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. Where do beavers and hamsters live together?
A. Hamsterdam.

Q. Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
A. He couldn't afford their air fare!

Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!

Q. How do rabbits travel?
A. By hare planes!

Q. Why don’t you see dinosaurs at Easter?
A. Because they are eggs-tinct!

Q. Why did the starfish breakup with the lobster?
A. Because he was SHELLfish.

Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!

Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What is a dentist's favourite game?
A. Tooth or Dare!

Q. How did the leprechaun beat the Irishman to the pot of gold?
A. He took a short cut!

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."

Q. What is the best way to see a flying saucer?
A. Trip a waiter.

Q. Why can't you iron a four-leaf clover?
A. Because you should never press your luck!

Q. How did the rabbit cross the road?
A. He hopped he could.

Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.

Q. Where do ghosts get their mail?
A. At the ghost office.

Q. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?
A. Dead ringers.

Q. What does the Easter Bunny say when it burps?
A. "Eggs-cuse me!"

Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
A. Boo!

Q. Why didn't the bunny hop?
A. No bunny knows.

Q. What does a bunny rabbit do in the rain?
A. Get wet!

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!

Q. How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been?
A. Eggs mark the spot!

Q. The peak on my house is going east and west and slopes North and South. A rooster is on the peak and lays an egg, which way did the egg roll?
A. Roosters don't lay eggs

Q. What kind of bunny can't hop?
A. Ones made of chocolate!

Q. Why did the leprechaun cross the road?
A. To get to the pot of gold.

Q. Where did the mother monster put her child when she was at work?
A. At day-SCARE!

Q. What do you get when you do the Irish jig at McDonalds?
A. A Shamrock Shake!

Q. What did the ghost say when it sneezed?
A. "Ahh BOO!"

Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.

Q. What do you get if you cross poison ivy with a
four leaf clover?
A. A rash of good luck!

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Easter
Easter who?
The Easter Bunny!

(Sing) Stay on the sunny side, always on the sunny side, stay on the sunny side of life, of life. May it cause you no pain, may it drive you insane, stay on the sunny side of life, of life.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Easter
Easter who?
Easter bunny.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
More
More who?
More Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Even more
Even more who?
Even more Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Car
Car who?
Car come and run over the Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Easter Egg
Easter Egg who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
The Easter Bunny!

Jokes

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand?
 

Customer: There is a fly in my soup.
Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

When the dentist had a appointment with his friend it was at 2:30.
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Now I lay my head to rest
A pile of books upon my chest
If I shall die before I wake
That's one less test I have to take.
 

There was a really dumb girl and she failed a test. Her teacher wanted her to come in after school and make it up. On the note home to her parents the teacher wrote: Make up test.
The following day the girl brought lipstick and eye shadow to school.
 

Dad: Why is your test score so low?
Girl: Because of absence.
Dad: You were absent?
Girl: No, the girl next to me was.
 

Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth?
Boy: I don't know?
Teacher: Think of the apple story.
Boy: I know, Granny Smith!
 

Patron: Waiter, what's this Praying Mantis doing in my soup?
Waiter: Saying grace.
 

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had.
Latangela: What did the lion do?
LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
 

There was a man carrying a lobster. His friend said, "What are you doing with that lobster under your arm?"
The man replied, "I am taking him to dinner."
The lobster spoke out, "I already had dinner, can we go to the movies instead?"
 

Once there were two chocolate bunnies and one had their ear bit off. One said, "Happy Easter."
"Huh?" Said the other.
 

A man walks into a dental office and says to the dentist, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentist says, "What!"
The man says, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentists says, "You need a phsycologist, not a dentist. Why'd you come in here?"
The man says, "Because your light was on."

 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup."
The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

Dentist: Stop making a face, I haven't even touched your teeth .
Tommy: I know, but you're stepping on my foot!
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Tongue Twister: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk but the stump thunk the skunk stunk!
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 


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