Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

St Jokes

We've got lots of funny St jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Where does the Easter bunny eat breakfast?
A. IHOP.

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. What sits outside all year long and is Irish?
A. Paddy O'furniture.

Q. Why did the rooster cross the road?
A. He wanted to impress the chicks!

Q. Why do rabbits eat carrots?
A. Because they don't want to be nearsighted!

Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A. Because they are always a little short!

Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.

Q. What did the ghost say when it sneezed?
A. "Ahh BOO!"

Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!

Q. What kind of mail does a superstar vampire get?
A. Fang mail.

Q. What happened to the Easter egg when it heard a funny joke?
A. It cracked up!

Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.

Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!

Q. Where does a bunny go if you give it a pair of socks?
A. A sock hop.

Q. What do you get when you do the Irish jig at McDonalds?
A. A Shamrock Shake!

Q. When does the leprechaun cross the road?
A. When it's green!

Q. You are dreaming. A monster comes up to you and takes you away. He puts you in an oven and turns it on. Any moment he will be eating you. What should you do?
A. Pinch yourself.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
A. Boo!

Q. How do rabbits travel?
A. By HAREplanes.

Q. What do bunnies do when they get married?
A. Go on a bunnymoon!

Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.

Q. Why did the leprechaun cross the road?
A. To get to the pot of gold.

Q. Why can't you iron a four-leaf clover?
A. Because you should never press your luck!

Q. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A. "Spook when you're spooken to."

Q. How does a rabbit throw a tantrum?
A. He gets hopping mad.

Q. What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an elephant?
A. Great big holes all over Australia.

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!

Q. Why didn't the lobster share his plankton with his dad?
A. Because he was a little shellfish!

Q. How did the Easter Bunny rate his favourite restaurant?
A. Egg-cellent!

Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."

Q. Where will you always find gold?
A. In the dictionary.

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. What do you call a dentist in the army?
A. A drill sergeant.

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. What does a bunny rabbit do in the rain?
A. Get wet!

Q. What do you get if you cross a bee and a bunny?
A. A honey bunny!

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."

Q. How does the Easter Bunny paint all the Easter eggs?
A. He hires Santa's elves during the off season.

Q. There is a restaurant that is shaped like an oval. Inside there are waiters, a chef, a hostess, and a janitor. The restaurant opens and later that night the lights go off. Then when the lights turn on everyone except the staff is dead. So, the next day an investigator comes and asks people what they where doing that night. He asked the waiters what they were doing and they said, "Serving customers."
He asked the chef, and the chef said, "He was cooking."
Then he asked the janitor and he said he was sweeping in the corners.
Who killed everyone?
A. The janitor, because there are no corners in a circular restaurant!

Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.

Q. What did the little ghost say to his mom?
A. "I've got a boo boo."

Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. What did the astronaut say when he saw bones on the moon?
A. "Obviously the cow didn't make it."

Q. Why did the rooster get a tattoo?
A. He wanted to impress the chicks!

Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!

Q. What is big, red and flies in the sky?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.

Q. What did the Easter Bunny say to the carrot?
A. "It's been nice gnawing you!"

Q. Why do frogs and alligators like St. Patrick's Day?
A. Because they are already wearing green!

Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. What is the best way to see a flying saucer?
A. Trip a waiter.

Q. Why did Frosty have a carrot in his nose?
A. Because he forgot where the refrigerator was.

Q. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?
A. Dead ringers.

Q. Where did the mother monster put her child when she was at work?
A. At day-SCARE!

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!

Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!

Q. Why did the vampire give up acting?
A. Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.

Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!

Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
A. Rude-olph!

Q. Why do we paint Easter eggs?
A. Because it's easier than wallpapering them.

Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.

Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?
A. Frankenstein because Dracula sucks.

Q. Why didn't the bunny hop?
A. No bunny knows.

Q. What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A. "I love BOO!"

Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels.

Q. Why does Rudolph have a red nose?
A. Because he sneezes a lot!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Easter
Easter who?
The Easter Bunny!

(Sing) Stay on the sunny side, always on the sunny side, stay on the sunny side of life, of life. May it cause you no pain, may it drive you insane, stay on the sunny side of life, of life.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Easter
Easter who?
Easter bunny.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
More
More who?
More Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Even more
Even more who?
Even more Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Car
Car who?
Car come and run over the Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Easter Egg
Easter Egg who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
The Easter Bunny!

Jokes

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand?
 

Customer: There is a fly in my soup.
Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

When the dentist had a appointment with his friend it was at 2:30.
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Now I lay my head to rest
A pile of books upon my chest
If I shall die before I wake
That's one less test I have to take.
 

There was a really dumb girl and she failed a test. Her teacher wanted her to come in after school and make it up. On the note home to her parents the teacher wrote: Make up test.
The following day the girl brought lipstick and eye shadow to school.
 

Dad: Why is your test score so low?
Girl: Because of absence.
Dad: You were absent?
Girl: No, the girl next to me was.
 

Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth?
Boy: I don't know?
Teacher: Think of the apple story.
Boy: I know, Granny Smith!
 

Patron: Waiter, what's this Praying Mantis doing in my soup?
Waiter: Saying grace.
 

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had.
Latangela: What did the lion do?
LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
 

There was a man carrying a lobster. His friend said, "What are you doing with that lobster under your arm?"
The man replied, "I am taking him to dinner."
The lobster spoke out, "I already had dinner, can we go to the movies instead?"
 

Once there were two chocolate bunnies and one had their ear bit off. One said, "Happy Easter."
"Huh?" Said the other.
 

A man walks into a dental office and says to the dentist, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentist says, "What!"
The man says, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentists says, "You need a phsycologist, not a dentist. Why'd you come in here?"
The man says, "Because your light was on."

 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup."
The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

Dentist: Stop making a face, I haven't even touched your teeth .
Tommy: I know, but you're stepping on my foot!
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Tongue Twister: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk but the stump thunk the skunk stunk!
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 


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