Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

School Jokes

We've got lots of funny School jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A. A synonym roll.

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.

Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!

Q. What happened to the Easter Bunny when he was naughty at school?
A. He was eggs-pelled!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Jokes

Teacher: Joe, can you name two pronouns?
Joe just waking up: Who, me?
 

Student: Teacher, Teacher!
Teacher: Yes?
Student: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: After you recite the alphabet.
Student: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z!
Teacher: Where did the P go?
Student: It's running down my leg!
 

A boy walked into his classroom late. "Why are you late?" the teacher asked.
"Because I saw a dead cat on the way to school," he said.
"How did you know it was dead?"
"I PSST in its ear."
"YOU DID WHAT!?"
"Yeah, I bent down and went PSST in its ear and it didn't move."
 

Teacher: Mark can you tell me what you would like to be in the future?
Mark: I'd like to be a billionaire and be famous.
Teacher: Interesting, what about you Esther.
Esther: I'd like to be Mark's wife!
 

A teacher asked her first grade class to bring their birth certificates to class. When the time came to give them to her, David stood up and said very politely, "Teacher, I forgot my excuse for being born."
 

The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present.
The student: I walk. You walk, ..
The teacher interrupts him: Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run.
 

A boy came home from school. "How much did you learn in school today?" His mother asked.
"Not enough, I have to go back again tomorrow."
 

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand?
 

Teacher: What is the purpose of having school?
Student: Without school, there wouldn't be a reason for holidays and summer vacation.
 

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
 


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