Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

School Jokes

We've got lots of funny School jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. What happened to the Easter Bunny when he was naughty at school?
A. He was eggs-pelled!

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Jokes

A boy showed his mom his report card and said, "Mom I'm 3rd in my class." The mom said, "Good job!" Then the boy said, "But there are only three boys in my class!"
 

Teacher: How many seconds in a minute? Student: 60 Teacher: How many minutes in an hour? Student: 60 Teacher: Good, now for a hard one, how many seconds in a year? Student: 12 Teacher: 12? Student: Yes, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...
 

Teacher: Joe, can you name two pronouns? Joe just waking up: Who, me?
 

Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth? Boy: I don't know? Teacher: Think of the apple story. Boy: I know, Granny Smith!
 

Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4? Student: That's not fair! You answered the easy ones and left me with the hard one!
 

Teacher: If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took two, what would you get? Billy: A fight!
 

Teacher: Take a seat! Student: Take it where?
 

A teacher asked a girl, "How was the Red Sea formed?" The girl said, "Sorry Miss, I don't know who painted it."
 

A teacher said to a student could you count to ten for me. This is what the kid said: "1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 10." The teacher asked, "Where is 9." "7 ate 9," said the student matter-of-factly.
 

Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Harold: A teacher.
 


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