Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

School Jokes

We've got lots of funny School jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. Which bet can't be won?
A. Alphabet.

Q. Where do pencils come from?
A. Pennsylvania.

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Jokes

If teachers are so smart then why are they in school?
 

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. Winnie: Me!
 

Mom: Why aren't you doing well in history? Child: Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!
 

Teacher: Have you completed the work at home? Student: No, sir. Teacher (angrily): Why? Student: Because my father has hired servants to do the work at home.
 

Teacher: Are you cold? Student: Yes. Teacher: Go sit in the corner it's 90 degrees!
 

Teacher: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? Glen: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
 

Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America. Maria: Here it is. Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? Class: Maria.
 

A teacher asked her first grade class to bring their birth certificates to class. When the time came to give them to her, David stood up and said very politely, "Teacher, I forgot my excuse for being born."
 

Teacher: Fred, the story you handed in called "Our Dog," is exactly like your brother's. Fred: Of course. It's the same dog.
 

Teacher: Joe, can you name two pronouns? Joe just waking up: Who, me?
 


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