Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Insect Jokes

We've got lots of funny Insect jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you call a bee's back?
A. It's bee-hind!

Q. Why can you never trust spiders?
A. Because they post stuff on the web.

Q. Which pillar is not used in a building?
A. A caterpillar.

Q. What do you call a fly with no wings?
A. A walk.

Q. What do you call a dancing ant?
A. A dANTcer!

Q. What did the firefly say to the other firefly?
A. "You glow, girl!"

Q. What do you call a 100-year-old ant?
A. ANT-ique.

Q. What do you call an ant who studies accounts?
A. An accountANT.

Q. What do you call two spiders who just got married?
A. Newlyweb!

Q. How does a bee get to school?
A. On a bzz!

Q. What insect is an arithmetic insect?
A. A mosquito! They add to misery, subtract from pleasure, divide the attention and multiply quickly!

Q. What do you call an an ant sticking out of the ground?
A. A plANT!

Q. What happened to the bed bugs who fell in love?
A. They got married in the spring.

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. What did the bee say when he returned to the hive?
A. "Honey, I'm home!"

Q. What do you call a snail with no shell?
A. Homeless.

Q. What do you call a snail with no shell?
A. A slug.

Q. What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A. Finding half a worm in your apple.

Q. Where do bees go after they are married?
A. On their HONEY-moon!

Q. What do you call a snail on a ship?
A. A snailor.

Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.

Q. What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A. A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.

Q. What do you call a musical insect?
A. A humbug.

Q. What do you get when you cross a parrot and a caterpillar?
A. A walkie talkie.

Q. What kind of animals do clocks have?
A. Ticks.

Q. What do you get if you throw butter?
A. A butterfly!

Q. What kind of bug goes Zzub Zzub?
A. A bumble bee flying backward!

Q. Why was the ant confused?
A. Because all of his uncles were ants!

Q. What is smaller then a talking cat?
A. A spelling bee.

Q. What insect has great baseball skills?
A. A pop fly!

Q. What insect is a coward?
A. A flea!

Q. What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
A. Bacon and legs!

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a centipede?
A. Drumsticks for everyone!

Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.

Q. What do you get if you cross a bee and a bunny?
A. A honey bunny!

Q. If there was a spelling test, which animal would win?
A. The bee!

Q. What's the biggest type of moth?
A. A mammoth.

Q. Why did the centipede go barefoot?
A. Because he couldn't afford so many shoes!

Q. What sort of animal is a slug?
A. A snail with housing problems!

Q. How can you tell which end is the head of a worm?
A. Tickle the middle and see where it laughs!

Q. Why did the bee get married?
A. Because she found her honey.

Q. What did the bee say to the naughty bee?
A. "Bee-hive yourself!"

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. What's an insect's favorite sport?
A. Cricket.

Q. What did the Pink Panther say after he stepped on the ant?
A. "Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant!"

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. Think of the person who lives in disguise, who deals in secrets and tells nothing but lies.
Next tell me what's always last to mend the middle of middle and end of the end.
And finally give me the sound often heard during the search for a hard to find word.
Now string them all together and answer me this:
What creature would you be unwilling to kiss?
A. A spider.

Q. What did the bee say to the flower?
A. "I'm the pollinator."

Q. How do bees go to school?
A. By school BUZZ!

Q. Why did the spider take a laptop to the beach?
A. So it could surf the web.

Q. Why are bees so sticky?
A. They use honey combs!

Q. How did the man build up his flea collar business?
A. He started from scratch.

Q. What did one cool bee say to the other?
A. "Buzz off, dude!"

Q. Why don't fleas get cold?
A. They are always in fur coats!

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. Why did the bee hum?
A. It forgot the words!

Q. Why did the bee feel cold?
A. Because it is in the middle of A and C.

Q. What do bees use to tidy their hair?
A. A honey comb.

Q. Why did the spider buy a car?
A. So he could take it out for a spin!

Q. Why do Monarch's fly to Mexico?
A. Because it's too far to walk!

Q. Why didn't the butterfly go to the dance?
A. Because it was a moth ball!

Q. Who is the kind of the insects?
A. The Monarch!

Q. What do you get when you eat caterpillars?
A. Butterflies in your stomach!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Abby
Abby who?
A bee just stung me!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Termite
Termite who?
Termite's the night!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Honey bee
Honey bee who?
Honey bee a sweetie and get me some chips.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Roach
Roach who?
Roach out and touch someone!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Larva
Larva who?
I larva you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Bee
Bee who?
Bee happy!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Monarch
Monarch who?
Monarch butterfly!

Jokes

Patron: Waiter, what's this Praying Mantis doing in my soup?
Waiter: Saying grace.
 

A snail purchased a new sports car. He told the salesperson that he wanted the letter "S" painted on both sides of the car. The salesman asked what is the "S" for? Snail? The Snail answered, "No, when I drive by I want people to say "Wow, look at that 'S' car go!" (escargo)
 

The insects were playing against a team of flies. The flies were winning 30to 0. At the third quarter the insects put a millepede in the game, he scored a total of 50 points. At the end of the game the coach of the flies asked the coach of the insects, "Why didn't you put the millepede in the first quarter?"
"Because it takes him forever to put his shoes on!"
 

The insects were playing against a team of flies. The flies were winning 30 to 0. At the third quarter the insects put a millepede in the game, he scored a total of 50 points. At the end of the game the coach of the flies asked the coach of the insects, "Why didn't you put the millepede in the first quarter?"
"Because it takes him forever to put his shoes on!"
 

There was a man that studied bugs. He caught a cockroach and put it on the floor of his lab, and said "Walk," and the cockroach walked. He cut off one of the legs on the cockroach and said walk again and the cockroach walked. He went on cutting off the cockroaches legs and telling it to walk. When he cut of all six of its legs the cockroach did not walk. The man wrote in his report that when you cut off all of the legs on a cockroach it becomes deaf.
 


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