Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes

We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What did one casket say to the other casket?
A. "Is that you coffin?" (coughing)

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. Why did Dracula go to the library?
A. He wanted a good book to sink his teeth into!

Q. Why didn't the mummy answer the phone?
A. He was all tied up!

Q. What does a bird say on Halloween?
A. Twick or tweet!

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.

Q. Where did the ghosts go for vacation?
A. Mali-BOO.

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. "You are my sunshine!"

Q. What key opens a Haunted House?
A. A spooKEY!

Q. What do you call a nervous witch?
A. A twitch.

Q. Why did the mummy get a headache?
A. Because he was GOBLIN his candy!

Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!

Q. What street does a vampire live on?
A. A dead end!

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A. The trombone.

Q. Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game?
A. Because they couldn't find their bats.

Q. What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth cleaned?
A. The dentist.

Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on?
A. Dead-ends.

Q. What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
A. A flying Band-Aid.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?
A. Because he had no body to go with.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Jokes

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm? Alan: No, is he ok? Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 


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