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Halloween Jokes

We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. What do witches call for in a hotel room?
A. Broom service.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?
A. Ghoul-aid!

Q. What street does a vampire live on?
A. A dead end!

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!

Q. What do skeletons say at the front door?
A. "Crick or creak!"

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A. To get a spare rib .

Q. Why doesn't a witch wear a flat hat?
A. Because there's no point in it!

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A. "I love BOO!"

Q. Why do people like vampires so much?
A. Because they are FANGtastic!

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. Why did the ghost join the team?
A. They needed more spirit!

Q. What does a panda ghost eat?
A. Bam-BOO!

Q. What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?
A. A wide scream TV.

Q. What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?
A. Lazy bones!

Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.

Q. Where did the mother monster put her child when she was at work?
A. At day-SCARE!

Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.

Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A. Any old girl he can dig up.

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. You are dreaming. A monster comes up to you and takes you away. He puts you in an oven and turns it on. Any moment he will be eating you. What should you do?
A. Pinch yourself.

Q. Why couldn't the skeleton laugh?
A. Because he lost his funny bone.

Q. Why did the mummy get a headache?
A. Because he was GOBLIN his candy!

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. Where did the ghost go on vacation?
A. The BOO-hamas!

Q. What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth cleaned?
A. The dentist.

Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.

Q. What does a ghost call his mom and dad?
A. His transparents.

Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
A. Pi.

Q. Why didn't the mummy answer the phone?
A. He was all tied up!

Q. Where is the zombie's favorite room in the house?
A. The living room.

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. What did one casket say to the other casket?
A. "Is that you coffin?" (coughing)

Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy?
A. Either a flying bandage or a gift wrapped bat!

Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
A. MaliBOO!

Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other.

Q. What do you call a nervous witch?
A. A twitch.

Q. Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?
A. Frankenstein because Dracula sucks.

Q. What does a wolf say on Halloween?
A. "Happy HOWLoween!"

Q. Did you hear about the skeleton and his girlfriend?
A. They broke up and he was shattered!

Q. What time is it when you see costumes, a house, candy and hear trick-or-treat?
A. Halloween!

Q. What pants do ghosts wear?
A. BOO jeans.

Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.

Q. What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?
A. A cab.

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. "You are my sunshine!"

Q. Why don't skeletons play music in church?
A. They have no organs.

Q. Why don't skeletons fight?
A. Because they don't have the guts!

Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on?
A. Dead-ends.

Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
A. Boo!

Q. What is the problem with two twin witches?
A. You never know which witch is which!

Q. What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
A. Puffy!

Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster.

Q. Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A. A scare centre!

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. What room can't ghosts go in?
A. The LIVING room!

Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. SPOOKgetti!

Q. Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?
A. He had no body to dance with!

Q. Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?
A. Because he had no body to go with.

Q. When do vampires like horse racing?
A. When it's neck and neck!

Q. Who did Dracula take to the movies?
A. His GHOUL friend.

Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. What do you read on Halloween?
A. BOO-ks

Q. What games do bats like to play on Halloween?
A. Anything with a ball.

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Jokes

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 


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