Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes

We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
A. A plumpkin!

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A. The trombone.

Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A. Any old girl he can dig up.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he had no guts.

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. Why was Dracula put in jail?
A. He tried to rob a blood bank.

Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
A. Shocking.

Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. SPOOKgetti!

Q. Where did the ghost go on vacation?
A. The BOO-hamas!

Q. Who did Dracula take to the movies?
A. His GHOUL friend.

Q. Who won the zombie war?
A. Nobody, it was dead even.

Q. What games do bats like to play on Halloween?
A. Anything with a ball.

Q. What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
A. Puffy!

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. What is a hotdog's favorite phrase?
A. Happy HalloWEINIE!

Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.

Q. What does a ghost keep in its stable?
A. Nightmares.

Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.

Q. What key opens a Haunted House?
A. A spooKEY!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Jokes

Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm? Alan: No, is he ok? Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 


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