Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes

We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!

Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away her W.

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A. "I love BOO!"

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?
A. Because he had no body to go with.

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
A. Pi.

Q. What does a panda ghost eat?
A. Bam-BOO!

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
A. A plumpkin!

Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?
A. Ghoul-aid!

Q. What did the vampire bring to the baseball field?
A. His bats!

Q. Where did the ghost go on vacation?
A. The BOO-hamas!

Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.

Q. What do you read on Halloween?
A. BOO-ks

Q. Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
A. MaliBOO!

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. What pants do ghosts wear?
A. BOO jeans.

Q. What do you call a nervous witch?
A. A twitch.

Q. What do you do when you see a ghost?
A. Run away of course!

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!

Q. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A. A crummy mummy.

Q. What does a bird say on Halloween?
A. Twick or tweet!

Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy?
A. Either a flying bandage or a gift wrapped bat!

Q. Where does a vampire keep his money?
A. In a blood bank.

Q. Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A. A scare centre!

Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other.

Q. What is a hotdog's favorite phrase?
A. Happy HalloWEINIE!

Q. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne!

Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!

Q. What street does a vampire live on?
A. A dead end!

Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!

Q. What do ghosts wear on their feet?
A. BOOts.

Q. Who did Dracula bring to the prom?
A. His ghoul friend.

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. You are dreaming. A monster comes up to you and takes you away. He puts you in an oven and turns it on. Any moment he will be eating you. What should you do?
A. Pinch yourself.

Q. What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
A. "Let's get glowing."

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A. To get a spare rib .

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite drink?
A. Milk, it's white and good for your bones.

Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A. Any old girl he can dig up.

Q. When do vampires like horse racing?
A. When it's neck and neck!

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A. The trombone.

Q. Why did the mummy get a headache?
A. Because he was GOBLIN his candy!

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!

Q. Where did the ghosts go for vacation?
A. Mali-BOO.

Q. How do you make a skeleton laugh?
A. Tickle its funnybone!

Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on?
A. Dead-ends.

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. Why did the ghost bring toilet paper to the party?
A. Because he was a party pooper.

Q. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A. A pumpkin patch.

Q. What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth cleaned?
A. The dentist.

Q. Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game?
A. Because they couldn't find their bats.

Q. Why did Dracula go to the library?
A. He wanted a good book to sink his teeth into!

Q. What did the skeleton order with his drink?
A. A mop.

Q. What monster wears the most clothes?
A. A werewolf!

Q. Where do ghosts get their mail?
A. At the ghost office.

Q. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A. Because you can see right through him.

Q. What do witches call for in a hotel room?
A. Broom service.

Q. What room can't ghosts go in?
A. The LIVING room!

Q. How do phantoms travel?
A. Ghost to ghost.

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
A. A flying Band-Aid.

Q. Why didn't the mummy answer the phone?
A. He was all tied up!

Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he had no guts.

Q. Why was Dracula put in jail?
A. He tried to rob a blood bank.

Q. Why did the vampire give up acting?
A. Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.

Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Jokes

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 


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