Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why was the bread dough sad?
A. It wanted to be kneaded by someone.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. Why did the bacon laugh?
A. Because the egg cracked a yoke.

Q. Paul is six feet tall. He is an assistant in a butcher shop. He wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
A. Meat.

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. What can you put in a freezer that's hot and will always come out hot?
A. Hot sauce.

Q. Why did the baker stop making doughnuts?
A. He was annoyed with the HOLE business.

Q. What does an orange do when it takes a test?
A. It concentrates!

Q. What did the baker give his wife for their anniversary?
A. Flour.

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
A. Because its got heart.

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A. A crummy mummy.

Q. How do you hunt for elephants?
A. Hide in a bush and make a noise like a peanut.

Q. What did the bad chicken lay?
A. A deviled egg.

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. What is Santa's favorite snack?
A. Ho, hos!

Q. A tomato, a cabbage and a hose were in a race. The tomato was red and the cabbage was a vegetable. Who won?
A. The hose was running, the cabbage was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

Q. What's the difference between a grape and a chicken?
A. They're both purple, except the chicken!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I like you.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs. who?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Peas
Peas who?
Peas let me in now!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Banana split!

Jokes

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach. Kelly: You mean she is really nice? Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

Customer: There is a fly in my soup. Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

Once an old man and woman went to a restaurant and ordered two sandwiches. The waiter brought the sandwiches and the old man started to eat but the women was only staring at the food. The waiter noticed this and went to see what the problem was. The old woman said nothing and just stared at him but the old man interrupted and said, "The sandwich is delicious, but she can't eat because I am using her teeth."
 

Two cookies are baking in an oven. One cookie says to the other, "Man, is it me, or is it getting kinda hot in here?" The other cookie replies, "Oh my goodness! A talking cookie!!"
 

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?" The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup." The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
 

Mum: Eat your roast chicken, it's got iron it! Jack: No wonder it is tough!
 


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