Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you call a train full of toffee?
A. A chew-chew train!

Q. Where does the Easter bunny eat breakfast?
A. IHOP.

Q. Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
A. Because its got heart.

Q. What did the pitcher say when eggs, bacon and pancakes were playing baseball?
A. "Butter up."

Q. When was meat so high?
A. When the cow jumped over the moon!

Q. What did the Malteeser want to be when it grew up?
A. A Smartie.

Q. What kind of doctor never works but is very popular around the world?
A. Dr. Pepper (the soda).

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. How did the frozen chicken cross the road?
A. In a shopping bag.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow with a smurf?
A. Blue cheese!

Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.

Q. Why did the orange get stuck up the on the mountain?
A. Because he ran out of juice.

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What do bananas do when they get a sunburn?
A. They peel.

Q. There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?
A. A watermelon!

Q. Why are cooks cruel?
A. Because they whip cream and beat eggs!!

Q. What did the bread say to the knife?
A. "Don't try to butter me up."

Q. Why did the mushroom have so many friends?
A. Because he was a fungi!

Q. What is red when you go and green when you stop?
A. A watermelon.

Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!

Q. What did the taco say to the burrito?
A. "Where you bean?"

Q. What did the happy slice of cheese say to the sad slice of cheese?
A. "Aw, it will be okay! Everything is GOUDA!"

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards?
A. "Dill me in!"

Q. What's white on the inside and green on the outside?
A. A banana dressed up as a cucumber!

Q. What has to be broken before you can use it?
A. An egg.

Q. What do you call a pig that gets fired from his job?
A. Canned ham!

Q. What did the policeman have on his sandwich?
A. Some traffic jam!

Q. What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?
A. Nothing, he just let out a little wine.

Q. Why did the hamburger go to the gym?
A. It wanted better buns.

Q. Why did the baker stop making doughnuts?
A. He was annoyed with the HOLE business.

Q. What kind of fish goes great with peanut butter?
A. Jellyfish.

Q. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a centipede?
A. Drumsticks for everyone!

Q. What do you call a banana that gets all the girls?
A. A banana smoothie!

Q. What can you put in a freezer that's hot and will always come out hot?
A. Hot sauce.

Q. What would happen if pigs could fly?
A. Bacon would go up!

Q. What do you call a break up between a boy and a girl banana?
A. A banana split.

Q. What did Sergeant Peanut Butter shout to his jelly police officers?
A. "Spread out, men!"

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. Why did the banana factory shut down?
A. Because they chucked out all the bent ones!

Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. Because KFC was on the other side.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A. A crummy mummy.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. What is green, small and round and goes up and down?
A. A pea in a lift.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A. Because he couldn't find a date.

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. What did the bread say to the man?
A. Nothing, bread can't talk.

Q. Why did the Smartie go to school?
A. Because he wanted to be smarter.

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. What does an injured lemon need?
A. Lemon Aid!

Q. What's the difference between a grape and a chicken?
A. They're both purple, except the chicken!

Q. How do you make a sausage roll?
A. Push it down the hill!

Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.

Q. What kind of murderer has fibre?
A. A cereal killer.

Q. What did the fish say to the chip?
A. "We were made for each other."

Q. What do you call a worried hot dog?
A. A frank fretter.

Q. What does a hamburger name his daughter?
A. Patty.

Q. What did the man say to the butcher at the deli?
A. "I never sausage a place"

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. Why do mushrooms like to tell jokes?
A. Because they're a fungi!

Q. What's yellow and goes 50 miles per hour?
A. A banana in a washing machine.

Q. What two candies are the smartest?
A. Smarties and Nerds.

Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!

Q. Why did the boy scream when he opened the fridge?
A. Because he saw the salad dressing.

Q. What did the jelly say to the peanut butter?
A. "We make a good match!"

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. What does the Invisible Man drink at snack time?
A. Evaporated milk.

Q. Why did the chicken join the band?
A. Because he had the drumsticks!

Q. How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?
A. Grapes are purple.

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. An elephant that's dressed up in a banana skin.

Q. Why did the bacon laugh?
A. Because the egg cracked a yoke.

Q. What did the baker give his wife for their anniversary?
A. Flour.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cash
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer peanuts!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
John
John who?
Johnny Apple Seed!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Nacho
Nacho who?
I'm nacho momma!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lemon
Lemon who?
Lemon know when you want me to say apple again.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Peas
Peas who?
Peas let me in now!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Felix
Felix who?
Felix my lolly, I'll whack him.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Berry
Berry who?
Berry nice too meet you can. Can I come in now?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Banana split!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I like you.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ketchup
Ketchup who?
Ketchup and I'll tell you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Soup
Soup who?
Superman!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ramon
Ramon who?
Ramon noodle soup.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wiener.
Wiener. who?
Wiener you going to get here?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
I8D
I8D who?
I8D whole cake!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ice Cream
Ice Cream who?
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs. who?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cereal
Cereal who?
Cereal pleasure to meet you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cheese
Cheese who?
Cheese a cute girl!

Jokes

Customer: There is a fly in my soup.
Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

Once an old man and woman went to a restaurant and ordered two sandwiches. The waiter brought the sandwiches and the old man started to eat but the women was only staring at the food. The waiter noticed this and went to see what the problem was. The old woman said nothing and just stared at him but the old man interrupted and said, "The sandwich is delicious, but she can't eat because I am using her teeth."
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach.
Kelly: You mean she is really nice?
Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?"
The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."
 

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup."
The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

There was once a cookie saying, "I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie."
A lady came along and told him to be quiet. She poked him in the middle. Then the cookie looked at his stomach and said, "I'm a donut, I'm a donut, I'm a donut."
 

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
 

Mum: Eat your roast chicken, it's got iron it!
Jack: No wonder it is tough!
 

Two cookies are baking in an oven. One cookie says to the other, "Man, is it me, or is it getting kinda hot in here?"
The other cookie replies, "Oh my goodness! A talking cookie!!"
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Me: I have a pizza joke!
Friend: What is it?
Me: Never mind! It's too cheesy!
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 

Bob: Why don't you wanna TACO 'bout it?
Josie: 'Cause I'm NACHO friend anymore!
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Whenever I want to start eating healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
 


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