Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What did the bread say to the knife?
A. "Don't try to butter me up."

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. Where do you learn to make ice cream?
A. At Sundae School!

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!

Q. Where did the hamburgers go?
A. To the Meat Ball!

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. What jam can't you eat?
A. A traffic jam.

Q. Why did the boy scream when he opened the fridge?
A. Because he saw the salad dressing.

Q. How do you make a sausage roll?
A. Push it down the hill!

Q. What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?
A. Nothing, he just let out a little wine.

Q. What kind of murderer has fibre?
A. A cereal killer.

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. How do you get fat free milk?
A. From a skinny cow!

Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.

Q. Why did the cow do jumping jacks?
A. Because he wanted a milkshake!

Q. What do you call two bananas?
A. A pair of slippers!

Q. What did the bad chicken lay?
A. A deviled egg.

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs. who?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Berry
Berry who?
Berry nice too meet you can. Can I come in now?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cash
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer peanuts!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wiener.
Wiener. who?
Wiener you going to get here?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Nacho
Nacho who?
I'm nacho momma!

Jokes

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup." The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach. Kelly: You mean she is really nice? Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?" The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."
 

Once an old man and woman went to a restaurant and ordered two sandwiches. The waiter brought the sandwiches and the old man started to eat but the women was only staring at the food. The waiter noticed this and went to see what the problem was. The old woman said nothing and just stared at him but the old man interrupted and said, "The sandwich is delicious, but she can't eat because I am using her teeth."
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Me: I have a pizza joke! Friend: What is it? Me: Never mind! It's too cheesy!
 

Two cookies are baking in an oven. One cookie says to the other, "Man, is it me, or is it getting kinda hot in here?" The other cookie replies, "Oh my goodness! A talking cookie!!"
 

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 


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