Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What happens to cereal when you add legs?
A. It gives it a little kick!

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. What do you call a potato that was crushed?
A. Squash.

Q. What kind of bagel can fly?
A. A plain bagel.

Q. What do you call two bananas?
A. A pair of slippers!

Q. What do race car driver's eat?
A. Fast food!

Q. What is a cow's favorite ice cream?
A. MOOnila!

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. What did the bad chicken lay?
A. A deviled egg.

Q. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A. A crummy mummy.

Q. What do you call a break up between a boy and a girl banana?
A. A banana split.

Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.

Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-AID!

Q. There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?
A. A watermelon!

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. What do you call a banana that gets all the girls?
A. A banana smoothie!

Q. Where do you learn to make ice cream?
A. At Sundae School!

Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. Because KFC was on the other side.

Q. What can't you eat at dinner?
A. Breakfast and lunch!

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
A. Because they put on the salsa.

Q. Why were the apple and orange alone?
A. Because the banana split!

Q. What did the man say to the butcher at the deli?
A. "I never sausage a place"

Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.

Q. Why do people by aggressive fruit?
A. So they can make fruit punch!

Q. Why did the cow do jumping jacks?
A. Because he wanted a milkshake!

Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!

Q. Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A. Because he couldn't find a date.

Q. Paul is six feet tall. He is an assistant in a butcher shop. He wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
A. Meat.

Q. What is long, green and slowly turning red?
A. A cucumber holding its breath!

Q. What do you call a train full of toffee?
A. A chew-chew train!

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. Why did the cookie cry?
A. Because his mother was a wafer too long!

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. What do you call a pig that gets fired from his job?
A. Canned ham!

Q. How do you make a sausage roll?
A. Push it down the hill!

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. What did the lucky lollipop say to the unlucky lollipop?
A. "Bye-bye, sucker!"

Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. SPOOKgetti!

Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!

Q. What's yellow and goes 50 miles per hour?
A. A banana in a washing machine.

Q. Why did the cow eat the tight rope walker?
A. Because he wanted a balanced meal!

Q. What cheese is not yours?
A. Nacho Cheese.

Q. Why did the banana factory shut down?
A. Because they chucked out all the bent ones!

Q. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a centipede?
A. Drumsticks for everyone!

Q. What kind of doctor never works but is very popular around the world?
A. Dr. Pepper (the soda).

Q. Why did the banana wear sunscreen?
A. He didn't want to peel!

Q. When was meat so high?
A. When the cow jumped over the moon!

Q. What did the Malteeser want to be when it grew up?
A. A Smartie.

Q. Why was the bread dough sad?
A. It wanted to be kneaded by someone.

Q. What is red when you go and green when you stop?
A. A watermelon.

Q. What do you call a chimp that likes to eat potato chips?
A. A chip-monk!

Q. What kind of murderer has fibre?
A. A cereal killer.

Q. What did the jelly say to the peanut butter?
A. "We make a good match!"

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. What has to be broken before you can use it?
A. An egg.

Q. Have you heard the joke about the pizza?
A. Never mind, it's too cheesy!

Q. Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?
A. Because it might crack up!

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. A tomato, a cabbage and a hose were in a race. The tomato was red and the cabbage was a vegetable. Who won?
A. The hose was running, the cabbage was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

Q. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
A. "Where's popcorn?!"

Q. What did the frog order at the burger place?
A. French flies and a diet croak.

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. How did the frozen chicken cross the road?
A. In a shopping bag.

Q. What did the happy slice of cheese say to the sad slice of cheese?
A. "Aw, it will be okay! Everything is GOUDA!"

Q. Why did the baker go to jail?
A. Because he got caught beating the eggs.

Q. What is Santa's favorite snack?
A. Ho, hos!

Q. What did the fish say to the chip?
A. "We were made for each other."

Q. What has ears but can't hear?
A. A corn field!

Q. Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
A. Because its got heart.

Q. What do snobby vegetables do when they see people?
A. They turnip (turn up) their noses?

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cash
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer peanuts!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
John
John who?
Johnny Apple Seed!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Nacho
Nacho who?
I'm nacho momma!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lemon
Lemon who?
Lemon know when you want me to say apple again.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Peas
Peas who?
Peas let me in now!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Felix
Felix who?
Felix my lolly, I'll whack him.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Berry
Berry who?
Berry nice too meet you can. Can I come in now?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Banana split!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I like you.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ketchup
Ketchup who?
Ketchup and I'll tell you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Soup
Soup who?
Superman!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ramon
Ramon who?
Ramon noodle soup.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wiener.
Wiener. who?
Wiener you going to get here?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
I8D
I8D who?
I8D whole cake!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ice Cream
Ice Cream who?
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs. who?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cereal
Cereal who?
Cereal pleasure to meet you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cheese
Cheese who?
Cheese a cute girl!

Jokes

Customer: There is a fly in my soup.
Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

Once an old man and woman went to a restaurant and ordered two sandwiches. The waiter brought the sandwiches and the old man started to eat but the women was only staring at the food. The waiter noticed this and went to see what the problem was. The old woman said nothing and just stared at him but the old man interrupted and said, "The sandwich is delicious, but she can't eat because I am using her teeth."
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach.
Kelly: You mean she is really nice?
Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?"
The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."
 

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup."
The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

There was once a cookie saying, "I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie."
A lady came along and told him to be quiet. She poked him in the middle. Then the cookie looked at his stomach and said, "I'm a donut, I'm a donut, I'm a donut."
 

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
 

Mum: Eat your roast chicken, it's got iron it!
Jack: No wonder it is tough!
 

Two cookies are baking in an oven. One cookie says to the other, "Man, is it me, or is it getting kinda hot in here?"
The other cookie replies, "Oh my goodness! A talking cookie!!"
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Me: I have a pizza joke!
Friend: What is it?
Me: Never mind! It's too cheesy!
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 

Bob: Why don't you wanna TACO 'bout it?
Josie: 'Cause I'm NACHO friend anymore!
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Whenever I want to start eating healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
 


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