Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a centipede?
A. Drumsticks for everyone!

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. What kind of fish goes great with peanut butter?
A. Jellyfish.

Q. What has to be broken before you can use it?
A. An egg.

Q. What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?
A. Nothing, he just let out a little wine.

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. Why do people by aggressive fruit?
A. So they can make fruit punch!

Q. Take off my skin. I won't cry but you will. What am I?
A. An onion.

Q. Where does the Easter bunny eat breakfast?
A. IHOP.

Q. Why did the banana wear sunscreen?
A. He didn't want to peel!

Q. A tomato, a cabbage and a hose were in a race. The tomato was red and the cabbage was a vegetable. Who won?
A. The hose was running, the cabbage was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. Why did the orange get stuck up the on the mountain?
A. Because he ran out of juice.

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. What do you call a chimp that likes to eat potato chips?
A. A chip-monk!

Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!

Q. What did the policeman have on his sandwich?
A. Some traffic jam!

Q. How do you hunt for elephants?
A. Hide in a bush and make a noise like a peanut.

Q. What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards?
A. "Dill me in!"

Q. What does an injured lemon need?
A. Lemon Aid!

Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.

Q. What do you call a potato that was crushed?
A. Squash.

Q. What is long, green and slowly turning red?
A. A cucumber holding its breath!

Q. Paul is six feet tall. He is an assistant in a butcher shop. He wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
A. Meat.

Q. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A. A crummy mummy.

Q. What is red when you go and green when you stop?
A. A watermelon.

Q. What do you call a train full of bubble gum?
A. A chew-chew train.

Q. What did the jelly say to the peanut butter?
A. "We make a good match!"

Q. How do you make a sausage roll?
A. Push it down the hill!

Q. What's the difference between a grape and a chicken?
A. They're both purple, except the chicken!

Q. What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A. I don't know, a Hershey BAAH?!

Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!

Q. What can you put in a freezer that's hot and will always come out hot?
A. Hot sauce.

Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.

Q. Why did the tomato blush?
A. Because it saw the salad dressing!

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. Why didn't the police catch the banana?
A. Because it split!

Q. What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
A. "You go on without me, I'll ketchup!"

Q. What do bananas do when they get a sunburn?
A. They peel.

Q. Why did the mushroom have so many friends?
A. Because he was a fungi!

Q. What two candies are the smartest?
A. Smarties and Nerds.

Q. Why did the cookie cry?
A. Because his mother was a wafer too long!

Q. What's white on the inside and green on the outside?
A. A banana dressed up as a cucumber!

Q. Where do you learn to make ice cream?
A. At Sundae School!

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What do you call a pig that gets fired from his job?
A. Canned ham!

Q. How do you make a milk shake?
A. Give it a good scare!

Q. There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?
A. A watermelon!

Q. Why did the baker go to jail?
A. Because he got caught beating the eggs.

Q. What did the Malteeser want to be when it grew up?
A. A Smartie.

Q. Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?
A. Because it might crack up!

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. Pork Chop!

Q. What is a cow's favorite ice cream?
A. MOOnila!

Q. Why did the baker stop making doughnuts?
A. He was annoyed with the HOLE business.

Q. When was meat so high?
A. When the cow jumped over the moon!

Q. What do race car driver's eat?
A. Fast food!

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. What cheese is not yours?
A. Nacho Cheese.

Q. What did the baker give his wife for their anniversary?
A. Flour.

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. What did the pitcher say when eggs, bacon and pancakes were playing baseball?
A. "Butter up."

Q. What vegetables can't you take on a boat?
A. Leeks!

Q. How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?
A. Grapes are purple.

Q. How did Burger King propose to his girlfriend?
A. With an onion ring.

Q. What did the running ketchup said to the walking ketchup?
A. "Catch up!"

Q. What did the Easter Bunny say to the carrot?
A. "It's been nice gnawing you!"

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. How did the frozen chicken cross the road?
A. In a shopping bag.

Q. What is Santa's favorite snack?
A. Ho, hos!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cash
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer peanuts!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
John
John who?
Johnny Apple Seed!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Nacho
Nacho who?
I'm nacho momma!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lemon
Lemon who?
Lemon know when you want me to say apple again.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Peas
Peas who?
Peas let me in now!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Felix
Felix who?
Felix my lolly, I'll whack him.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Berry
Berry who?
Berry nice too meet you can. Can I come in now?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Banana split!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I like you.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ketchup
Ketchup who?
Ketchup and I'll tell you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Soup
Soup who?
Superman!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ramon
Ramon who?
Ramon noodle soup.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wiener.
Wiener. who?
Wiener you going to get here?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
I8D
I8D who?
I8D whole cake!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ice Cream
Ice Cream who?
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs. who?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cereal
Cereal who?
Cereal pleasure to meet you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cheese
Cheese who?
Cheese a cute girl!

Jokes

Customer: There is a fly in my soup.
Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

Once an old man and woman went to a restaurant and ordered two sandwiches. The waiter brought the sandwiches and the old man started to eat but the women was only staring at the food. The waiter noticed this and went to see what the problem was. The old woman said nothing and just stared at him but the old man interrupted and said, "The sandwich is delicious, but she can't eat because I am using her teeth."
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach.
Kelly: You mean she is really nice?
Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?"
The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."
 

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup."
The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

There was once a cookie saying, "I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie."
A lady came along and told him to be quiet. She poked him in the middle. Then the cookie looked at his stomach and said, "I'm a donut, I'm a donut, I'm a donut."
 

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
 

Mum: Eat your roast chicken, it's got iron it!
Jack: No wonder it is tough!
 

Two cookies are baking in an oven. One cookie says to the other, "Man, is it me, or is it getting kinda hot in here?"
The other cookie replies, "Oh my goodness! A talking cookie!!"
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Me: I have a pizza joke!
Friend: What is it?
Me: Never mind! It's too cheesy!
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 

Bob: Why don't you wanna TACO 'bout it?
Josie: 'Cause I'm NACHO friend anymore!
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Whenever I want to start eating healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
 


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