Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
A. Because its got heart.

Q. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
A. "Where's popcorn?!"

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow with a smurf?
A. Blue cheese!

Q. What did the baker give his wife for their anniversary?
A. Flour.

Q. Paul is six feet tall. He is an assistant in a butcher shop. He wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
A. Meat.

Q. What do you call a pig that gets fired from his job?
A. Canned ham!

Q. What's white on the inside and green on the outside?
A. A banana dressed up as a cucumber!

Q. What is green and white when it is up and red when it hits the ground?
A. A watermelon.

Q. What did the happy slice of cheese say to the sad slice of cheese?
A. "Aw, it will be okay! Everything is GOUDA!"

Q. What do race car driver's eat?
A. Fast food!

Q. What is green, small and round and goes up and down?
A. A pea in a lift.

Q. What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
A. "You go on without me, I'll ketchup!"

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What does the baby popcorn call his dad?
A. Pop!

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
A. Because they put on the salsa.

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. What can't you eat at dinner?
A. Breakfast and lunch!

Q. Why did the banana factory shut down?
A. Because they chucked out all the bent ones!

Q. Why are ghosts always hungry?
A. Because the food goes right through them!

Q. How did the frozen chicken cross the road?
A. In a shopping bag.

Q. What's the difference between a grape and a chicken?
A. They're both purple, except the chicken!

Q. What did the man say to the butcher at the deli?
A. "I never sausage a place"

Q. How do you get fat free milk?
A. From a skinny cow!

Q. What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards?
A. "Dill me in!"

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. An elephant that's dressed up in a banana skin.

Q. What do you call a train full of toffee?
A. A chew-chew train!

Q. What do cows like to put on their sandwiches?
A. MOOstard!

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. Why did the tomato blush?
A. Because it saw the salad dressing!

Q. What did the policeman have on his sandwich?
A. Some traffic jam!

Q. Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A. Because he couldn't find a date.

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. When was meat so high?
A. When the cow jumped over the moon!

Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.

Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A. Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?!

Q. Why did the chicken join the band?
A. Because he had the drumsticks!

Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-AID!

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. What did the dressing say to the refrigerator?
A. "Shut the door I am dressing!"

Q. What do you call a break up between a boy and a girl banana?
A. A banana split.

Q. What has ears but can't hear?
A. A corn field!

Q. What do snobby vegetables do when they see people?
A. They turnip (turn up) their noses?

Q. What did the Easter Bunny say to the carrot?
A. "It's been nice gnawing you!"

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. Why do people by aggressive fruit?
A. So they can make fruit punch!

Q. Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A. Better not tell you, it might spread!

Q. What would happen if pigs could fly?
A. Bacon would go up!

Q. What kind of bagel can fly?
A. A plain bagel.

Q. Why did the cookie cry?
A. Because his mother was a wafer too long!

Q. Where do you learn to make ice cream?
A. At Sundae School!

Q. Why were the apple and orange alone?
A. Because the banana split!

Q. What can you put in a freezer that's hot and will always come out hot?
A. Hot sauce.

Q. What jam can't you eat?
A. A traffic jam.

Q. What kind of murderer has fibre?
A. A cereal killer.

Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. SPOOKgetti!

Q. What is a cow's favorite ice cream?
A. MOOnila!

Q. What cheese is not yours?
A. Nacho Cheese.

Q. What do you call a potato that was crushed?
A. Squash.

Q. Have you heard the joke about the pizza?
A. Never mind, it's too cheesy!

Q. What happens to cereal when you add legs?
A. It gives it a little kick!

Q. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A. A crummy mummy.

Q. What did the jelly say to the peanut butter?
A. "We make a good match!"

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A. I don't know, a Hershey BAAH?!

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. What did the pitcher say when eggs, bacon and pancakes were playing baseball?
A. "Butter up."

Q. What does the Invisible Man drink at snack time?
A. Evaporated milk.

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.

Q. What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?
A. Nothing, he just let out a little wine.

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. What did the taco say to the burrito?
A. "Where you bean?"

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. What vegetables can't you take on a boat?
A. Leeks!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cash
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer peanuts!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
John
John who?
Johnny Apple Seed!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Nacho
Nacho who?
I'm nacho momma!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lemon
Lemon who?
Lemon know when you want me to say apple again.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Peas
Peas who?
Peas let me in now!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Felix
Felix who?
Felix my lolly, I'll whack him.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Berry
Berry who?
Berry nice too meet you can. Can I come in now?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Banana split!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I like you.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ketchup
Ketchup who?
Ketchup and I'll tell you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Soup
Soup who?
Superman!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ramon
Ramon who?
Ramon noodle soup.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wiener.
Wiener. who?
Wiener you going to get here?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
I8D
I8D who?
I8D whole cake!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ice Cream
Ice Cream who?
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs. who?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cereal
Cereal who?
Cereal pleasure to meet you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cheese
Cheese who?
Cheese a cute girl!

Jokes

Customer: There is a fly in my soup.
Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

Once an old man and woman went to a restaurant and ordered two sandwiches. The waiter brought the sandwiches and the old man started to eat but the women was only staring at the food. The waiter noticed this and went to see what the problem was. The old woman said nothing and just stared at him but the old man interrupted and said, "The sandwich is delicious, but she can't eat because I am using her teeth."
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach.
Kelly: You mean she is really nice?
Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?"
The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."
 

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup."
The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

There was once a cookie saying, "I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie."
A lady came along and told him to be quiet. She poked him in the middle. Then the cookie looked at his stomach and said, "I'm a donut, I'm a donut, I'm a donut."
 

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
 

Mum: Eat your roast chicken, it's got iron it!
Jack: No wonder it is tough!
 

Two cookies are baking in an oven. One cookie says to the other, "Man, is it me, or is it getting kinda hot in here?"
The other cookie replies, "Oh my goodness! A talking cookie!!"
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Me: I have a pizza joke!
Friend: What is it?
Me: Never mind! It's too cheesy!
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 

Bob: Why don't you wanna TACO 'bout it?
Josie: 'Cause I'm NACHO friend anymore!
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Whenever I want to start eating healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
 


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