Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why do mushrooms like to tell jokes?
A. Because they're a fungi!

Q. Why did the rancher name his ranch "Peanut Butter"?
A. It was a great spread.

Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.

Q. Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A. Better not tell you, it might spread!

Q. Where did the hamburgers go?
A. To the Meat Ball!

Q. What do you call two bananas?
A. A pair of slippers!

Q. Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A. Because he couldn't find a date.

Q. What kind of fish goes great with peanut butter?
A. Jellyfish.

Q. Why did the chicken join the band?
A. Because he had the drumsticks!

Q. What kind of murderer has fibre?
A. A cereal killer.

Q. What did the frog order at the burger place?
A. French flies and a diet croak.

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. What happens to cereal when you add legs?
A. It gives it a little kick!

Q. What do you call a banana that gets all the girls?
A. A banana smoothie!

Q. Why did the baker stop making doughnuts?
A. He was annoyed with the HOLE business.

Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. Pork Chop!

Q. Why do people by aggressive fruit?
A. So they can make fruit punch!

Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-AID!

Q. What jam can't you eat?
A. A traffic jam.

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. Why did the orange get stuck up the on the mountain?
A. Because he ran out of juice.

Q. What can you put in a freezer that's hot and will always come out hot?
A. Hot sauce.

Q. What does an injured lemon need?
A. Lemon Aid!

Q. What's the difference between a grape and a chicken?
A. They're both purple, except the chicken!

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. An elephant that's dressed up in a banana skin.

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. When was meat so high?
A. When the cow jumped over the moon!

Q. Why do rabbits eat carrots?
A. Because they don't want to be nearsighted!

Q. What has ears but can't hear?
A. A corn field!

Q. What does the Invisible Man drink at snack time?
A. Evaporated milk.

Q. Where does the Easter bunny eat breakfast?
A. IHOP.

Q. How do you make a sausage roll?
A. Push it down the hill!

Q. Why did the boy scream when he opened the fridge?
A. Because he saw the salad dressing.

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. What did the lucky lollipop say to the unlucky lollipop?
A. "Bye-bye, sucker!"

Q. What did the bad chicken lay?
A. A deviled egg.

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. What is long, green and slowly turning red?
A. A cucumber holding its breath!

Q. What does the baby popcorn call his dad?
A. Pop!

Q. Why were the apple and orange alone?
A. Because the banana split!

Q. What do you get when a pig and a chicken bump into each other?
A. Ham and eggs!

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. What did the Easter Bunny say to the carrot?
A. "It's been nice gnawing you!"

Q. What does a hamburger name his daughter?
A. Patty.

Q. What do race car driver's eat?
A. Fast food!

Q. Why did the tomato blush?
A. Because it saw the salad dressing!

Q. What is green, small and round and goes up and down?
A. A pea in a lift.

Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.

Q. What do snobby vegetables do when they see people?
A. They turnip (turn up) their noses?

Q. What do you call a worried hot dog?
A. A frank fretter.

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. What would happen if pigs could fly?
A. Bacon would go up!

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. Take off my skin. I won't cry but you will. What am I?
A. An onion.

Q. What cheese is not yours?
A. Nacho Cheese.

Q. What did the pitcher say when eggs, bacon and pancakes were playing baseball?
A. "Butter up."

Q. What's white on the inside and green on the outside?
A. A banana dressed up as a cucumber!

Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A. Ban-ana-na!

Q. How did the frozen chicken cross the road?
A. In a shopping bag.

Q. What vegetable has eyes but can't see?
A. A potato.

Q. Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?
A. Because it might crack up!

Q. What did the happy slice of cheese say to the sad slice of cheese?
A. "Aw, it will be okay! Everything is GOUDA!"

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. How do you get fat free milk?
A. From a skinny cow!

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. Why did the cow do jumping jacks?
A. Because he wanted a milkshake!

Q. Why did the hamburger go to the gym?
A. It wanted better buns.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cash
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer peanuts!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
John
John who?
Johnny Apple Seed!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Nacho
Nacho who?
I'm nacho momma!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lemon
Lemon who?
Lemon know when you want me to say apple again.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Peas
Peas who?
Peas let me in now!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Felix
Felix who?
Felix my lolly, I'll whack him.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Berry
Berry who?
Berry nice too meet you can. Can I come in now?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Banana split!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I like you.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ketchup
Ketchup who?
Ketchup and I'll tell you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Soup
Soup who?
Superman!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ramon
Ramon who?
Ramon noodle soup.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wiener.
Wiener. who?
Wiener you going to get here?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
I8D
I8D who?
I8D whole cake!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ice Cream
Ice Cream who?
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs. who?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cereal
Cereal who?
Cereal pleasure to meet you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cheese
Cheese who?
Cheese a cute girl!

Jokes

Customer: There is a fly in my soup.
Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

Once an old man and woman went to a restaurant and ordered two sandwiches. The waiter brought the sandwiches and the old man started to eat but the women was only staring at the food. The waiter noticed this and went to see what the problem was. The old woman said nothing and just stared at him but the old man interrupted and said, "The sandwich is delicious, but she can't eat because I am using her teeth."
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach.
Kelly: You mean she is really nice?
Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?"
The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."
 

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup."
The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

There was once a cookie saying, "I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie."
A lady came along and told him to be quiet. She poked him in the middle. Then the cookie looked at his stomach and said, "I'm a donut, I'm a donut, I'm a donut."
 

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
 

Mum: Eat your roast chicken, it's got iron it!
Jack: No wonder it is tough!
 

Two cookies are baking in an oven. One cookie says to the other, "Man, is it me, or is it getting kinda hot in here?"
The other cookie replies, "Oh my goodness! A talking cookie!!"
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Me: I have a pizza joke!
Friend: What is it?
Me: Never mind! It's too cheesy!
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 

Bob: Why don't you wanna TACO 'bout it?
Josie: 'Cause I'm NACHO friend anymore!
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Whenever I want to start eating healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
 


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