Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?
A. Nothing, he just let out a little wine.

Q. What do you call a worried hot dog?
A. A frank fretter.

Q. What do you call a train full of bubble gum?
A. A chew-chew train.

Q. What did the lucky lollipop say to the unlucky lollipop?
A. "Bye-bye, sucker!"

Q. What kind of doctor never works but is very popular around the world?
A. Dr. Pepper (the soda).

Q. What do snobby vegetables do when they see people?
A. They turnip (turn up) their noses?

Q. Why did the orange get stuck up the on the mountain?
A. Because he ran out of juice.

Q. What jam can't you eat?
A. A traffic jam.

Q. What did the running ketchup said to the walking ketchup?
A. "Catch up!"

Q. What did the cake say to the fork?
A. "You want a piece of me?"

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. What did the frog order at the burger place?
A. French flies and a diet croak.

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What kind of fish goes great with peanut butter?
A. Jellyfish.

Q. Why do mushrooms like to tell jokes?
A. Because they're a fungi!

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. How do you make a sausage roll?
A. Push it down the hill!

Q. What does the Invisible Man drink at snack time?
A. Evaporated milk.

Q. What vegetable has eyes but can't see?
A. A potato.

Q. How do you get fat free milk?
A. From a skinny cow!

Q. What kind of murderer has fibre?
A. A cereal killer.

Q. What is green and white when it is up and red when it hits the ground?
A. A watermelon.

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. An elephant that's dressed up in a banana skin.

Q. What did the baker give his wife for their anniversary?
A. Flour.

Q. What can't you eat at dinner?
A. Breakfast and lunch!

Q. How do you make a milk shake?
A. Give it a good scare!

Q. What did Sergeant Peanut Butter shout to his jelly police officers?
A. "Spread out, men!"

Q. What is a cow's favorite ice cream?
A. MOOnila!

Q. Where did the hamburgers go?
A. To the Meat Ball!

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. What did the policeman have on his sandwich?
A. Some traffic jam!

Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.

Q. Why didn't the police catch the banana?
A. Because it split!

Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. Because KFC was on the other side.

Q. How did the frozen chicken cross the road?
A. In a shopping bag.

Q. Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A. Better not tell you, it might spread!

Q. What's yellow and goes 50 miles per hour?
A. A banana in a washing machine.

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
A. "Where's popcorn?!"

Q. Why did the baker go to jail?
A. Because he got caught beating the eggs.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.

Q. What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A. I don't know, a Hershey BAAH?!

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. Why did the chicken join the band?
A. Because he had the drumsticks!

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. Why did the baker stop making doughnuts?
A. He was annoyed with the HOLE business.

Q. Why did the banana wear sunscreen?
A. He didn't want to peel!

Q. What do you call a potato that was crushed?
A. Squash.

Q. Why did the tomato blush?
A. Because it saw the salad dressing!

Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. SPOOKgetti!

Q. Take off my skin. I won't cry but you will. What am I?
A. An onion.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. What is green, small and round and goes up and down?
A. A pea in a lift.

Q. Why are ghosts always hungry?
A. Because the food goes right through them!

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. Why did the boy scream when he opened the fridge?
A. Because he saw the salad dressing.

Q. Why did the cow eat the tight rope walker?
A. Because he wanted a balanced meal!

Q. Why did the bread cross the road?
A. To BUTTER the other side!

Q. What did the Malteeser want to be when it grew up?
A. A Smartie.

Q. Why did the hamburger go to the gym?
A. It wanted better buns.

Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. What did the bread say to the man?
A. Nothing, bread can't talk.

Q. Why did the banana factory shut down?
A. Because they chucked out all the bent ones!

Q. How do you hunt for elephants?
A. Hide in a bush and make a noise like a peanut.

Q. What kind of bagel can fly?
A. A plain bagel.

Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!

Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. What can you put in a freezer that's hot and will always come out hot?
A. Hot sauce.

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. What does an injured lemon need?
A. Lemon Aid!

Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.

Q. Why was the bread dough sad?
A. It wanted to be kneaded by someone.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cash
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer peanuts!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
John
John who?
Johnny Apple Seed!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Nacho
Nacho who?
I'm nacho momma!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lemon
Lemon who?
Lemon know when you want me to say apple again.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Peas
Peas who?
Peas let me in now!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Felix
Felix who?
Felix my lolly, I'll whack him.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Berry
Berry who?
Berry nice too meet you can. Can I come in now?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Banana split!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I like you.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ketchup
Ketchup who?
Ketchup and I'll tell you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Soup
Soup who?
Superman!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ramon
Ramon who?
Ramon noodle soup.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wiener.
Wiener. who?
Wiener you going to get here?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
I8D
I8D who?
I8D whole cake!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ice Cream
Ice Cream who?
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs. who?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cereal
Cereal who?
Cereal pleasure to meet you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cheese
Cheese who?
Cheese a cute girl!

Jokes

Customer: There is a fly in my soup.
Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

Once an old man and woman went to a restaurant and ordered two sandwiches. The waiter brought the sandwiches and the old man started to eat but the women was only staring at the food. The waiter noticed this and went to see what the problem was. The old woman said nothing and just stared at him but the old man interrupted and said, "The sandwich is delicious, but she can't eat because I am using her teeth."
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach.
Kelly: You mean she is really nice?
Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?"
The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."
 

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup."
The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

There was once a cookie saying, "I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie."
A lady came along and told him to be quiet. She poked him in the middle. Then the cookie looked at his stomach and said, "I'm a donut, I'm a donut, I'm a donut."
 

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
 

Mum: Eat your roast chicken, it's got iron it!
Jack: No wonder it is tough!
 

Two cookies are baking in an oven. One cookie says to the other, "Man, is it me, or is it getting kinda hot in here?"
The other cookie replies, "Oh my goodness! A talking cookie!!"
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Me: I have a pizza joke!
Friend: What is it?
Me: Never mind! It's too cheesy!
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 

Bob: Why don't you wanna TACO 'bout it?
Josie: 'Cause I'm NACHO friend anymore!
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Whenever I want to start eating healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
 


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