Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. What does an injured lemon need?
A. Lemon Aid!

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. What did the bread say to the knife?
A. "Don't try to butter me up."

Q. Why did the cow do jumping jacks?
A. Because he wanted a milkshake!

Q. Why did the banana factory shut down?
A. Because they chucked out all the bent ones!

Q. A tomato, a cabbage and a hose were in a race. The tomato was red and the cabbage was a vegetable. Who won?
A. The hose was running, the cabbage was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.

Q. What is green, small and round and goes up and down?
A. A pea in a lift.

Q. What did the dressing say to the refrigerator?
A. "Shut the door I am dressing!"

Q. Why do people by aggressive fruit?
A. So they can make fruit punch!

Q. What did the taco say to the burrito?
A. "Where you bean?"

Q. How do you make a sausage roll?
A. Push it down the hill!

Q. Why did the baker go to jail?
A. Because he got caught beating the eggs.

Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
A. Because its got heart.

Q. How do you get fat free milk?
A. From a skinny cow!

Q. What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?
A. Nothing, he just let out a little wine.

Q. Why did the boy scream when he opened the fridge?
A. Because he saw the salad dressing.

Q. Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
A. Because they put on the salsa.

Q. Why did the baker stop making doughnuts?
A. He was annoyed with the HOLE business.

Q. What two candies are the smartest?
A. Smarties and Nerds.

Q. What vegetable has eyes but can't see?
A. A potato.

Q. What do you call a pig that gets fired from his job?
A. Canned ham!

Q. Why didn't the police catch the banana?
A. Because it split!

Q. There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?
A. A watermelon!

Q. What do you call a break up between a boy and a girl banana?
A. A banana split.

Q. Why did the cookie cry?
A. Because his mother was a wafer too long!

Q. Why are ghosts always hungry?
A. Because the food goes right through them!

Q. Why did the Smartie go to school?
A. Because he wanted to be smarter.

Q. What do cows like to put on their sandwiches?
A. MOOstard!

Q. When was meat so high?
A. When the cow jumped over the moon!

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. What does the Invisible Man drink at snack time?
A. Evaporated milk.

Q. What does a hamburger name his daughter?
A. Patty.

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. What's white on the inside and green on the outside?
A. A banana dressed up as a cucumber!

Q. Why was the bread dough sad?
A. It wanted to be kneaded by someone.

Q. What kind of bagel can fly?
A. A plain bagel.

Q. What did the bad chicken lay?
A. A deviled egg.

Q. What is Santa's favorite snack?
A. Ho, hos!

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. An elephant that's dressed up in a banana skin.

Q. What did the policeman have on his sandwich?
A. Some traffic jam!

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. Why do mushrooms like to tell jokes?
A. Because they're a fungi!

Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.

Q. Why did the bread cross the road?
A. To BUTTER the other side!

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A. Better not tell you, it might spread!

Q. What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A. I don't know, a Hershey BAAH?!

Q. Why were the apple and orange alone?
A. Because the banana split!

Q. What's the difference between a grape and a chicken?
A. They're both purple, except the chicken!

Q. How did Burger King propose to his girlfriend?
A. With an onion ring.

Q. What did the lucky lollipop say to the unlucky lollipop?
A. "Bye-bye, sucker!"

Q. What jam can't you eat?
A. A traffic jam.

Q. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
A. "Where's popcorn?!"

Q. What can't you eat at dinner?
A. Breakfast and lunch!

Q. Did you hear what happened down at the fish shop?
A. The fish got battered!

Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. SPOOKgetti!

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. Why did the rancher name his ranch "Peanut Butter"?
A. It was a great spread.

Q. What does an orange do when it takes a test?
A. It concentrates!

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow with a smurf?
A. Blue cheese!

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. Why did the cow eat the tight rope walker?
A. Because he wanted a balanced meal!

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. What do you call a worried hot dog?
A. A frank fretter.

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-AID!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cash
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer peanuts!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
John
John who?
Johnny Apple Seed!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Nacho
Nacho who?
I'm nacho momma!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lemon
Lemon who?
Lemon know when you want me to say apple again.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Peas
Peas who?
Peas let me in now!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Felix
Felix who?
Felix my lolly, I'll whack him.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Berry
Berry who?
Berry nice too meet you can. Can I come in now?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Banana split!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I like you.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ketchup
Ketchup who?
Ketchup and I'll tell you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Soup
Soup who?
Superman!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ramon
Ramon who?
Ramon noodle soup.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wiener.
Wiener. who?
Wiener you going to get here?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
I8D
I8D who?
I8D whole cake!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ice Cream
Ice Cream who?
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs. who?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cereal
Cereal who?
Cereal pleasure to meet you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cheese
Cheese who?
Cheese a cute girl!

Jokes

Customer: There is a fly in my soup.
Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

Once an old man and woman went to a restaurant and ordered two sandwiches. The waiter brought the sandwiches and the old man started to eat but the women was only staring at the food. The waiter noticed this and went to see what the problem was. The old woman said nothing and just stared at him but the old man interrupted and said, "The sandwich is delicious, but she can't eat because I am using her teeth."
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach.
Kelly: You mean she is really nice?
Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?"
The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."
 

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup."
The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

There was once a cookie saying, "I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie."
A lady came along and told him to be quiet. She poked him in the middle. Then the cookie looked at his stomach and said, "I'm a donut, I'm a donut, I'm a donut."
 

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
 

Mum: Eat your roast chicken, it's got iron it!
Jack: No wonder it is tough!
 

Two cookies are baking in an oven. One cookie says to the other, "Man, is it me, or is it getting kinda hot in here?"
The other cookie replies, "Oh my goodness! A talking cookie!!"
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Me: I have a pizza joke!
Friend: What is it?
Me: Never mind! It's too cheesy!
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 

Bob: Why don't you wanna TACO 'bout it?
Josie: 'Cause I'm NACHO friend anymore!
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Whenever I want to start eating healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
 


 We also have jokes about…