Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the cookie cry?
A. Because his mother was a wafer too long!

Q. What does the baby popcorn call his dad?
A. Pop!

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A. Ban-ana-na!

Q. Why did the baker go to jail?
A. Because he got caught beating the eggs.

Q. How do you make a milk shake?
A. Give it a good scare!

Q. What do you get when a pig and a chicken bump into each other?
A. Ham and eggs!

Q. Why did the banana factory shut down?
A. Because they chucked out all the bent ones!

Q. Where do you learn to make ice cream?
A. At Sundae School!

Q. What is red when you go and green when you stop?
A. A watermelon.

Q. Why didn't the police catch the banana?
A. Because it split!

Q. What is a table you can eat?
A. A vegetable.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. What is green, small and round and goes up and down?
A. A pea in a lift.

Q. Take off my skin. I won't cry but you will. What am I?
A. An onion.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. What kind of doctor never works but is very popular around the world?
A. Dr. Pepper (the soda).

Q. Why did the banana wear sunscreen?
A. He didn't want to peel!

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. What did the pitcher say when eggs, bacon and pancakes were playing baseball?
A. "Butter up."

Q. Did you hear what happened down at the fish shop?
A. The fish got battered!

Q. What did the jelly say to the peanut butter?
A. "We make a good match!"

Q. Why did the cow do jumping jacks?
A. Because he wanted a milkshake!

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!

Q. What does the Invisible Man drink at snack time?
A. Evaporated milk.

Q. What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards?
A. "Dill me in!"

Q. What is a cow's favorite ice cream?
A. MOOnila!

Q. Where did the hamburgers go?
A. To the Meat Ball!

Q. Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
A. Because they put on the salsa.

Q. What did Sergeant Peanut Butter shout to his jelly police officers?
A. "Spread out, men!"

Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-AID!

Q. What did the cake say to the fork?
A. "You want a piece of me?"

Q. Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?
A. Because it might crack up!

Q. What is long, green and slowly turning red?
A. A cucumber holding its breath!

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. Why are ghosts always hungry?
A. Because the food goes right through them!

Q. What can't you eat at dinner?
A. Breakfast and lunch!

Q. Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
A. Because its got heart.

Q. What did the bad chicken lay?
A. A deviled egg.

Q. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a centipede?
A. Drumsticks for everyone!

Q. What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?
A. Nothing, he just let out a little wine.

Q. What does an orange do when it takes a test?
A. It concentrates!

Q. How do you get fat free milk?
A. From a skinny cow!

Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. Pork Chop!

Q. Where does the Easter bunny eat breakfast?
A. IHOP.

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. Why do rabbits eat carrots?
A. Because they don't want to be nearsighted!

Q. What is a buckaneer?
A. Expensive corn!

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?
A. A watermelon!

Q. Why was the bread dough sad?
A. It wanted to be kneaded by someone.

Q. What two candies are the smartest?
A. Smarties and Nerds.

Q. Why did the mushroom have so many friends?
A. Because he was a fungi!

Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What did the frog order at the burger place?
A. French flies and a diet croak.

Q. Why did the baker stop making doughnuts?
A. He was annoyed with the HOLE business.

Q. What did the Easter Bunny say to the carrot?
A. "It's been nice gnawing you!"

Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!

Q. Why do people by aggressive fruit?
A. So they can make fruit punch!

Q. How did Burger King propose to his girlfriend?
A. With an onion ring.

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. What did the bread say to the man?
A. Nothing, bread can't talk.

Q. What did the lucky lollipop say to the unlucky lollipop?
A. "Bye-bye, sucker!"

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. What did the man say to the butcher at the deli?
A. "I never sausage a place"

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. What would happen if pigs could fly?
A. Bacon would go up!

Q. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
A. "Where's popcorn?!"

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cash
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer peanuts!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
John
John who?
Johnny Apple Seed!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Nacho
Nacho who?
I'm nacho momma!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lemon
Lemon who?
Lemon know when you want me to say apple again.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Peas
Peas who?
Peas let me in now!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Felix
Felix who?
Felix my lolly, I'll whack him.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Berry
Berry who?
Berry nice too meet you can. Can I come in now?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Banana split!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I like you.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ketchup
Ketchup who?
Ketchup and I'll tell you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Soup
Soup who?
Superman!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ramon
Ramon who?
Ramon noodle soup.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wiener.
Wiener. who?
Wiener you going to get here?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
I8D
I8D who?
I8D whole cake!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ice Cream
Ice Cream who?
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs. who?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cereal
Cereal who?
Cereal pleasure to meet you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cheese
Cheese who?
Cheese a cute girl!

Jokes

Customer: There is a fly in my soup.
Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

Once an old man and woman went to a restaurant and ordered two sandwiches. The waiter brought the sandwiches and the old man started to eat but the women was only staring at the food. The waiter noticed this and went to see what the problem was. The old woman said nothing and just stared at him but the old man interrupted and said, "The sandwich is delicious, but she can't eat because I am using her teeth."
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach.
Kelly: You mean she is really nice?
Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?"
The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."
 

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup."
The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

There was once a cookie saying, "I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie."
A lady came along and told him to be quiet. She poked him in the middle. Then the cookie looked at his stomach and said, "I'm a donut, I'm a donut, I'm a donut."
 

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
 

Mum: Eat your roast chicken, it's got iron it!
Jack: No wonder it is tough!
 

Two cookies are baking in an oven. One cookie says to the other, "Man, is it me, or is it getting kinda hot in here?"
The other cookie replies, "Oh my goodness! A talking cookie!!"
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Me: I have a pizza joke!
Friend: What is it?
Me: Never mind! It's too cheesy!
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 

Bob: Why don't you wanna TACO 'bout it?
Josie: 'Cause I'm NACHO friend anymore!
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Whenever I want to start eating healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
 


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