Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What kind of murderer has fibre?
A. A cereal killer.

Q. What do you call a potato that was crushed?
A. Squash.

Q. What vegetable has eyes but can't see?
A. A potato.

Q. What did the running ketchup said to the walking ketchup?
A. "Catch up!"

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A. Ban-ana-na!

Q. What do you call a worried hot dog?
A. A frank fretter.

Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. Pork Chop!

Q. Why did the bacon laugh?
A. Because the egg cracked a yoke.

Q. What does an injured lemon need?
A. Lemon Aid!

Q. How do you get fat free milk?
A. From a skinny cow!

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. What do bananas do when they get a sunburn?
A. They peel.

Q. Why did the bread cross the road?
A. To BUTTER the other side!

Q. What does a hamburger name his daughter?
A. Patty.

Q. What did the bad chicken lay?
A. A deviled egg.

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. How did the frozen chicken cross the road?
A. In a shopping bag.

Q. What do race car driver's eat?
A. Fast food!

Q. What can you put in a freezer that's hot and will always come out hot?
A. Hot sauce.

Q. What do cows like to put on their sandwiches?
A. MOOstard!

Q. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a centipede?
A. Drumsticks for everyone!

Q. Where does the Easter bunny eat breakfast?
A. IHOP.

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. Why did the mushroom have so many friends?
A. Because he was a fungi!

Q. There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?
A. A watermelon!

Q. How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?
A. Grapes are purple.

Q. What does the Invisible Man drink at snack time?
A. Evaporated milk.

Q. Why was the bread dough sad?
A. It wanted to be kneaded by someone.

Q. What is a buckaneer?
A. Expensive corn!

Q. What kind of doctor never works but is very popular around the world?
A. Dr. Pepper (the soda).

Q. What did the taco say to the burrito?
A. "Where you bean?"

Q. Why didn't the police catch the banana?
A. Because it split!

Q. Why do people by aggressive fruit?
A. So they can make fruit punch!

Q. What's the difference between a grape and a chicken?
A. They're both purple, except the chicken!

Q. What did the Malteeser want to be when it grew up?
A. A Smartie.

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. How do you make a sausage roll?
A. Push it down the hill!

Q. Why do mushrooms like to tell jokes?
A. Because they're a fungi!

Q. What is long, green and slowly turning red?
A. A cucumber holding its breath!

Q. What is red when you go and green when you stop?
A. A watermelon.

Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.

Q. Why did the boy scream when he opened the fridge?
A. Because he saw the salad dressing.

Q. Why do rabbits eat carrots?
A. Because they don't want to be nearsighted!

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. What did Sergeant Peanut Butter shout to his jelly police officers?
A. "Spread out, men!"

Q. What kind of fish goes great with peanut butter?
A. Jellyfish.

Q. Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
A. Because its got heart.

Q. What's yellow and goes 50 miles per hour?
A. A banana in a washing machine.

Q. Why did the orange get stuck up the on the mountain?
A. Because he ran out of juice.

Q. Why did the Smartie go to school?
A. Because he wanted to be smarter.

Q. What do you get when a pig and a chicken bump into each other?
A. Ham and eggs!

Q. What do you call a break up between a boy and a girl banana?
A. A banana split.

Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!

Q. Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
A. Because they put on the salsa.

Q. What did the man say to the butcher at the deli?
A. "I never sausage a place"

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. An elephant that's dressed up in a banana skin.

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. What did the cake say to the fork?
A. "You want a piece of me?"

Q. What did the lucky lollipop say to the unlucky lollipop?
A. "Bye-bye, sucker!"

Q. When was meat so high?
A. When the cow jumped over the moon!

Q. Have you heard the joke about the pizza?
A. Never mind, it's too cheesy!

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. Why did the hamburger go to the gym?
A. It wanted better buns.

Q. What do you call a train full of toffee?
A. A chew-chew train!

Q. Take off my skin. I won't cry but you will. What am I?
A. An onion.

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?
A. Nothing, he just let out a little wine.

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
A. "You go on without me, I'll ketchup!"

Q. What do you call a banana that gets all the girls?
A. A banana smoothie!

Q. Why did the cookie cry?
A. Because his mother was a wafer too long!

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. What did the Easter Bunny say to the carrot?
A. "It's been nice gnawing you!"

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cash
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer peanuts!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
John
John who?
Johnny Apple Seed!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Nacho
Nacho who?
I'm nacho momma!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lemon
Lemon who?
Lemon know when you want me to say apple again.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Peas
Peas who?
Peas let me in now!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Felix
Felix who?
Felix my lolly, I'll whack him.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Berry
Berry who?
Berry nice too meet you can. Can I come in now?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Banana split!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I like you.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ketchup
Ketchup who?
Ketchup and I'll tell you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Soup
Soup who?
Superman!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ramon
Ramon who?
Ramon noodle soup.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wiener.
Wiener. who?
Wiener you going to get here?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
I8D
I8D who?
I8D whole cake!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ice Cream
Ice Cream who?
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs. who?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cereal
Cereal who?
Cereal pleasure to meet you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cheese
Cheese who?
Cheese a cute girl!

Jokes

Customer: There is a fly in my soup.
Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

Once an old man and woman went to a restaurant and ordered two sandwiches. The waiter brought the sandwiches and the old man started to eat but the women was only staring at the food. The waiter noticed this and went to see what the problem was. The old woman said nothing and just stared at him but the old man interrupted and said, "The sandwich is delicious, but she can't eat because I am using her teeth."
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach.
Kelly: You mean she is really nice?
Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?"
The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."
 

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup."
The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

There was once a cookie saying, "I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie."
A lady came along and told him to be quiet. She poked him in the middle. Then the cookie looked at his stomach and said, "I'm a donut, I'm a donut, I'm a donut."
 

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
 

Mum: Eat your roast chicken, it's got iron it!
Jack: No wonder it is tough!
 

Two cookies are baking in an oven. One cookie says to the other, "Man, is it me, or is it getting kinda hot in here?"
The other cookie replies, "Oh my goodness! A talking cookie!!"
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Me: I have a pizza joke!
Friend: What is it?
Me: Never mind! It's too cheesy!
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 

Bob: Why don't you wanna TACO 'bout it?
Josie: 'Cause I'm NACHO friend anymore!
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Whenever I want to start eating healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
 


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