Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What does an orange do when it takes a test?
A. It concentrates!

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. Did you hear what happened down at the fish shop?
A. The fish got battered!

Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. Because KFC was on the other side.

Q. What's the difference between a grape and a chicken?
A. They're both purple, except the chicken!

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. Where does the Easter bunny eat breakfast?
A. IHOP.

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. What did the bread say to the knife?
A. "Don't try to butter me up."

Q. What's white on the inside and green on the outside?
A. A banana dressed up as a cucumber!

Q. What did the Easter Bunny say to the carrot?
A. "It's been nice gnawing you!"

Q. What is long, green and slowly turning red?
A. A cucumber holding its breath!

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. What do you call a chimp that likes to eat potato chips?
A. A chip-monk!

Q. Why do rabbits eat carrots?
A. Because they don't want to be nearsighted!

Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.

Q. What do you call a break up between a boy and a girl banana?
A. A banana split.

Q. What did the bread say to the man?
A. Nothing, bread can't talk.

Q. What kind of murderer has fibre?
A. A cereal killer.

Q. What kind of doctor never works but is very popular around the world?
A. Dr. Pepper (the soda).

Q. What kind of bagel can fly?
A. A plain bagel.

Q. What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A. I don't know, a Hershey BAAH?!

Q. What did the baker give his wife for their anniversary?
A. Flour.

Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!

Q. What does the Invisible Man drink at snack time?
A. Evaporated milk.

Q. Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
A. Because its got heart.

Q. Paul is six feet tall. He is an assistant in a butcher shop. He wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
A. Meat.

Q. What did the cake say to the fork?
A. "You want a piece of me?"

Q. What is Santa's favorite snack?
A. Ho, hos!

Q. When was meat so high?
A. When the cow jumped over the moon!

Q. Why did the baker go to jail?
A. Because he got caught beating the eggs.

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. Why did the banana wear sunscreen?
A. He didn't want to peel!

Q. What do you call a worried hot dog?
A. A frank fretter.

Q. Why do mushrooms like to tell jokes?
A. Because they're a fungi!

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A. A crummy mummy.

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. What does an injured lemon need?
A. Lemon Aid!

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow with a smurf?
A. Blue cheese!

Q. Why did the tomato blush?
A. Because it saw the salad dressing!

Q. What is red when you go and green when you stop?
A. A watermelon.

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. Why did the cookie cry?
A. Because his mother was a wafer too long!

Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!

Q. How do you make a milk shake?
A. Give it a good scare!

Q. What vegetable has eyes but can't see?
A. A potato.

Q. Why do people by aggressive fruit?
A. So they can make fruit punch!

Q. Where do you learn to make ice cream?
A. At Sundae School!

Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. SPOOKgetti!

Q. What did the fish say to the chip?
A. "We were made for each other."

Q. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
A. "Where's popcorn?!"

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. What did the frog order at the burger place?
A. French flies and a diet croak.

Q. Why did the bacon laugh?
A. Because the egg cracked a yoke.

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?
A. Because it might crack up!

Q. How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?
A. Grapes are purple.

Q. What jam can't you eat?
A. A traffic jam.

Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A. Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?!

Q. What is green and white when it is up and red when it hits the ground?
A. A watermelon.

Q. Where did the hamburgers go?
A. To the Meat Ball!

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. How do you make a sausage roll?
A. Push it down the hill!

Q. Take off my skin. I won't cry but you will. What am I?
A. An onion.

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. Why did the cow eat the tight rope walker?
A. Because he wanted a balanced meal!

Q. What does the baby popcorn call his dad?
A. Pop!

Q. What would happen if pigs could fly?
A. Bacon would go up!

Q. What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A. Ban-ana-na!

Q. What did the happy slice of cheese say to the sad slice of cheese?
A. "Aw, it will be okay! Everything is GOUDA!"

Q. What's yellow and goes 50 miles per hour?
A. A banana in a washing machine.

Q. What did the taco say to the burrito?
A. "Where you bean?"

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cash
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer peanuts!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
John
John who?
Johnny Apple Seed!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Nacho
Nacho who?
I'm nacho momma!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lemon
Lemon who?
Lemon know when you want me to say apple again.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Peas
Peas who?
Peas let me in now!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Felix
Felix who?
Felix my lolly, I'll whack him.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Berry
Berry who?
Berry nice too meet you can. Can I come in now?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Banana split!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I like you.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ketchup
Ketchup who?
Ketchup and I'll tell you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Soup
Soup who?
Superman!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ramon
Ramon who?
Ramon noodle soup.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wiener.
Wiener. who?
Wiener you going to get here?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
I8D
I8D who?
I8D whole cake!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ice Cream
Ice Cream who?
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs. who?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cereal
Cereal who?
Cereal pleasure to meet you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cheese
Cheese who?
Cheese a cute girl!

Jokes

Customer: There is a fly in my soup.
Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

Once an old man and woman went to a restaurant and ordered two sandwiches. The waiter brought the sandwiches and the old man started to eat but the women was only staring at the food. The waiter noticed this and went to see what the problem was. The old woman said nothing and just stared at him but the old man interrupted and said, "The sandwich is delicious, but she can't eat because I am using her teeth."
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach.
Kelly: You mean she is really nice?
Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?"
The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."
 

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup."
The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

There was once a cookie saying, "I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie."
A lady came along and told him to be quiet. She poked him in the middle. Then the cookie looked at his stomach and said, "I'm a donut, I'm a donut, I'm a donut."
 

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
 

Mum: Eat your roast chicken, it's got iron it!
Jack: No wonder it is tough!
 

Two cookies are baking in an oven. One cookie says to the other, "Man, is it me, or is it getting kinda hot in here?"
The other cookie replies, "Oh my goodness! A talking cookie!!"
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Me: I have a pizza joke!
Friend: What is it?
Me: Never mind! It's too cheesy!
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 

Bob: Why don't you wanna TACO 'bout it?
Josie: 'Cause I'm NACHO friend anymore!
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Whenever I want to start eating healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
 


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