Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the bacon laugh?
A. Because the egg cracked a yoke.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. What do bananas do when they get a sunburn?
A. They peel.

Q. What did the frog order at the burger place?
A. French flies and a diet croak.

Q. Why do people by aggressive fruit?
A. So they can make fruit punch!

Q. Why did the rancher name his ranch "Peanut Butter"?
A. It was a great spread.

Q. Where does the Easter bunny eat breakfast?
A. IHOP.

Q. What does a hamburger name his daughter?
A. Patty.

Q. How do you make a milk shake?
A. Give it a good scare!

Q. What cheese is not yours?
A. Nacho Cheese.

Q. What's the difference between a grape and a chicken?
A. They're both purple, except the chicken!

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. An elephant that's dressed up in a banana skin.

Q. What does the Invisible Man drink at snack time?
A. Evaporated milk.

Q. Why did the banana factory shut down?
A. Because they chucked out all the bent ones!

Q. Why did the hamburger go to the gym?
A. It wanted better buns.

Q. What did the dressing say to the refrigerator?
A. "Shut the door I am dressing!"

Q. How do you hunt for elephants?
A. Hide in a bush and make a noise like a peanut.

Q. What do you call two bananas?
A. A pair of slippers!

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. What kind of bagel can fly?
A. A plain bagel.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ketchup
Ketchup who?
Ketchup and I'll tell you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cheese
Cheese who?
Cheese a cute girl!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
John
John who?
Johnny Apple Seed!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ramon
Ramon who?
Ramon noodle soup.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ice Cream
Ice Cream who?
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Jokes

Customer: There is a fly in my soup.
Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup."
The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 

Me: I have a pizza joke!
Friend: What is it?
Me: Never mind! It's too cheesy!
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach.
Kelly: You mean she is really nice?
Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 

Once an old man and woman went to a restaurant and ordered two sandwiches. The waiter brought the sandwiches and the old man started to eat but the women was only staring at the food. The waiter noticed this and went to see what the problem was. The old woman said nothing and just stared at him but the old man interrupted and said, "The sandwich is delicious, but she can't eat because I am using her teeth."
 

Two cookies are baking in an oven. One cookie says to the other, "Man, is it me, or is it getting kinda hot in here?"
The other cookie replies, "Oh my goodness! A talking cookie!!"
 


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