Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What does the Invisible Man drink at snack time?
A. Evaporated milk.

Q. Paul is six feet tall. He is an assistant in a butcher shop. He wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
A. Meat.

Q. What did the Easter Bunny say to the carrot?
A. "It's been nice gnawing you!"

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. An elephant that's dressed up in a banana skin.

Q. What can you put in a freezer that's hot and will always come out hot?
A. Hot sauce.

Q. Why are ghosts always hungry?
A. Because the food goes right through them!

Q. Where did the hamburgers go?
A. To the Meat Ball!

Q. What do you call a train full of bubble gum?
A. A chew-chew train.

Q. What did Sergeant Peanut Butter shout to his jelly police officers?
A. "Spread out, men!"

Q. What does an injured lemon need?
A. Lemon Aid!

Q. Why did the mushroom have so many friends?
A. Because he was a fungi!

Q. What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A. Ban-ana-na!

Q. What is a buckaneer?
A. Expensive corn!

Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!

Q. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a centipede?
A. Drumsticks for everyone!

Q. Why did the hamburger go to the gym?
A. It wanted better buns.

Q. Did you hear what happened down at the fish shop?
A. The fish got battered!

Q. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A. A crummy mummy.

Q. Why do mushrooms like to tell jokes?
A. Because they're a fungi!

Q. What did the fish say to the chip?
A. "We were made for each other."

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.

Q. What do you call a potato that was crushed?
A. Squash.

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. Why did the orange get stuck up the on the mountain?
A. Because he ran out of juice.

Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. Because KFC was on the other side.

Q. There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?
A. A watermelon!

Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What cheese is not yours?
A. Nacho Cheese.

Q. What kind of murderer has fibre?
A. A cereal killer.

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. What can't you eat at dinner?
A. Breakfast and lunch!

Q. Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?
A. Because it might crack up!

Q. Why did the boy scream when he opened the fridge?
A. Because he saw the salad dressing.

Q. What does a hamburger name his daughter?
A. Patty.

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. How do you make a sausage roll?
A. Push it down the hill!

Q. What do cows like to put on their sandwiches?
A. MOOstard!

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. What kind of bagel can fly?
A. A plain bagel.

Q. What has ears but can't hear?
A. A corn field!

Q. What's white on the inside and green on the outside?
A. A banana dressed up as a cucumber!

Q. What did the cake say to the fork?
A. "You want a piece of me?"

Q. What did the taco say to the burrito?
A. "Where you bean?"

Q. Why do people by aggressive fruit?
A. So they can make fruit punch!

Q. Why did the baker go to jail?
A. Because he got caught beating the eggs.

Q. What's yellow and goes 50 miles per hour?
A. A banana in a washing machine.

Q. What vegetable has eyes but can't see?
A. A potato.

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. What did the Malteeser want to be when it grew up?
A. A Smartie.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. How do you get fat free milk?
A. From a skinny cow!

Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A. Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?!

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-AID!

Q. What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?
A. Nothing, he just let out a little wine.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow with a smurf?
A. Blue cheese!

Q. What do you call a pig that gets fired from his job?
A. Canned ham!

Q. What do race car driver's eat?
A. Fast food!

Q. Why did the chicken join the band?
A. Because he had the drumsticks!

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. Why did the baker stop making doughnuts?
A. He was annoyed with the HOLE business.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. What kind of doctor never works but is very popular around the world?
A. Dr. Pepper (the soda).

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. Why are cooks cruel?
A. Because they whip cream and beat eggs!!

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A. I don't know, a Hershey BAAH?!

Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!

Q. What did the man say to the butcher at the deli?
A. "I never sausage a place"

Q. What is red when you go and green when you stop?
A. A watermelon.

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cash
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer peanuts!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
John
John who?
Johnny Apple Seed!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Nacho
Nacho who?
I'm nacho momma!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lemon
Lemon who?
Lemon know when you want me to say apple again.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Peas
Peas who?
Peas let me in now!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Felix
Felix who?
Felix my lolly, I'll whack him.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Berry
Berry who?
Berry nice too meet you can. Can I come in now?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Banana split!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I like you.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ketchup
Ketchup who?
Ketchup and I'll tell you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Soup
Soup who?
Superman!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ramon
Ramon who?
Ramon noodle soup.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wiener.
Wiener. who?
Wiener you going to get here?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
I8D
I8D who?
I8D whole cake!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ice Cream
Ice Cream who?
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs. who?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cereal
Cereal who?
Cereal pleasure to meet you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cheese
Cheese who?
Cheese a cute girl!

Jokes

Customer: There is a fly in my soup.
Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

Once an old man and woman went to a restaurant and ordered two sandwiches. The waiter brought the sandwiches and the old man started to eat but the women was only staring at the food. The waiter noticed this and went to see what the problem was. The old woman said nothing and just stared at him but the old man interrupted and said, "The sandwich is delicious, but she can't eat because I am using her teeth."
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach.
Kelly: You mean she is really nice?
Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?"
The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."
 

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup."
The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

There was once a cookie saying, "I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie."
A lady came along and told him to be quiet. She poked him in the middle. Then the cookie looked at his stomach and said, "I'm a donut, I'm a donut, I'm a donut."
 

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
 

Mum: Eat your roast chicken, it's got iron it!
Jack: No wonder it is tough!
 

Two cookies are baking in an oven. One cookie says to the other, "Man, is it me, or is it getting kinda hot in here?"
The other cookie replies, "Oh my goodness! A talking cookie!!"
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Me: I have a pizza joke!
Friend: What is it?
Me: Never mind! It's too cheesy!
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 

Bob: Why don't you wanna TACO 'bout it?
Josie: 'Cause I'm NACHO friend anymore!
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Whenever I want to start eating healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
 


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