Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Dog Jokes

We've got lots of funny Dog jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. Why did the dog get a pedicure?
A. Because his feet were RUFF!

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. Why shouldn't you go outside if it's raining cats and dogs?
A. Because you might step in a poodle!

Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.

Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.

Q. How did the dog get splinters in his tongue?
A. He ate table scraps.

Q. Why are skeletons afraid of dogs?
A. Because dogs love bones!

Q. What dog can jump higher than a building?
A. Any dog because buildings can't jump.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A. A rocker spaniel.

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog and a rose?
A. A collie-flower!

Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!

Q. What do you call a dog who always knows the time?
A. A watchdog!

Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. Because he was chasing the chicken.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. What do dogs eat for breakfast?
A. POOCHed eggs and BARKen.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. What do you call a dog who wins a race?
A. A weiner.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cookie
Cookie who?
Give the pup a cookie!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Bow
Bow who?
Not bow who, bow wow!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me baby!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me, honey!

Jokes

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me." The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese." The poodle replied, "How childish" The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese." "You're hopeless," said the poodle. The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?" The guy replied,"No." The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled. "That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

Bob: I lost my dog today. Bill: So put an ad in the paper. Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 


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