Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Dog Jokes

We've got lots of funny Dog jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you get if you cross a dino and a dog?
A. A dog a sore!

Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. Why was the dog sitting next to the fire?
A. He was a hotdog!

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.

Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.

Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.

Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. What do you call a dog who wins a race?
A. A weiner.

Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
A. Achoowawa!

Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. Because he was chasing the chicken.

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.

Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…

Q. Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
A. Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A. A rocker spaniel.

Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!

Q. Where won't you find a dog shopping?
A. At the flea market!

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. What dog can jump higher than a building?
A. Any dog because buildings can't jump.

Q. Why shouldn't you go outside if it's raining cats and dogs?
A. Because you might step in a poodle!

Q. If H20 is inside of the fire hydrant, what's on the outside?
A. K9P.

Q. Why did the dog get a pedicure?
A. Because his feet were RUFF!

Q. Why are skeletons afraid of dogs?
A. Because dogs love bones!

Q. How did the dog get splinters in his tongue?
A. He ate table scraps.

Q. What do dogs eat for breakfast?
A. POOCHed eggs and BARKen.

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog and a rose?
A. A collie-flower!

Q. What do you call a dog who always knows the time?
A. A watchdog!

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog with a valentine card?
A. A card that says, "I love you drool-ly"!

Q. Why aren't dogs good dancers?
A. They have two left feet.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me baby!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Bow
Bow who?
Not bow who, bow wow!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
How
How who?
How will we get away from that mean dog?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ken
Ken who?
Ken you walk the dog for me?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Puppy
Puppy who?
Puppy love!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dash
Dash who?
Daschund!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cookie
Cookie who?
Give the pup a cookie!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me, honey!

Jokes

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

Bob: I lost my dog today.
Bill: So put an ad in the paper.
Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 


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