Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Dog Jokes

We've got lots of funny Dog jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.

Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
A. Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.

Q. If H20 is inside of the fire hydrant, what's on the outside?
A. K9P.

Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.

Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.

Q. What dog can jump higher than a building?
A. Any dog because buildings can't jump.

Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. Because he was chasing the chicken.

Q. Why did the dog get a pedicure?
A. Because his feet were RUFF!

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. Why are skeletons afraid of dogs?
A. Because dogs love bones!

Q. Why was the dog sitting next to the fire?
A. He was a hotdog!

Q. Why shouldn't you go outside if it's raining cats and dogs?
A. Because you might step in a poodle!

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.

Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Puppy
Puppy who?
Puppy love!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ken
Ken who?
Ken you walk the dog for me?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dash
Dash who?
Daschund!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Bow
Bow who?
Not bow who, bow wow!

Jokes

Bob: I lost my dog today. Bill: So put an ad in the paper. Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?" The guy replied,"No." The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled. "That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me." The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese." The poodle replied, "How childish" The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese." "You're hopeless," said the poodle. The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 


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