Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Dog Jokes

We've got lots of funny Dog jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. What do dogs eat for breakfast?
A. POOCHed eggs and BARKen.

Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
A. Achoowawa!

Q. Why shouldn't you go outside if it's raining cats and dogs?
A. Because you might step in a poodle!

Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.

Q. Why did the dog get a pedicure?
A. Because his feet were RUFF!

Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.

Q. What do you get if you cross a dino and a dog?
A. A dog a sore!

Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.

Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!

Q. What dog can jump higher than a building?
A. Any dog because buildings can't jump.

Q. What do you call a dog who always knows the time?
A. A watchdog!

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. Because he was chasing the chicken.

Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. Why are skeletons afraid of dogs?
A. Because dogs love bones!

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog and a rose?
A. A collie-flower!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me baby!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cookie
Cookie who?
Give the pup a cookie!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Bow
Bow who?
Not bow who, bow wow!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
How
How who?
How will we get away from that mean dog?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ken
Ken who?
Ken you walk the dog for me?

Jokes

Bob: I lost my dog today.
Bill: So put an ad in the paper.
Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!
 


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