We've got lots of funny Doctor jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D
Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…
Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!
Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!
Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.
Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.
Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.
Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"
Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.
Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.
Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.
Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).
Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.
Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!
Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!
Q. Why did the snowman go to the doctor?
A. He was feeling chilled!
You're right! Knock, knock
You know my name!
Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I'm going to die in 59 seconds!
Doctor: Hang on, I'll be there in a minute.
Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
Patient: Doctor! Doctor! I think I am losing my memory!
Doctor: When did that happen?
Patient: When did what happen!
Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm turning into curtains.
Doctor: Pull your self together!
Patient: Doctor, Doctor! Last night I had a dream I ate a giant marshmallow!
Doctor: That's nice, so what's the problem?
Patient: Well, when I woke up my pillow was gone!
Patient: Doctor, Doctor, will this ointment clear up my spots?
Doctor: I never make rash promises.
A guy went to the doctor. "Doctor, I keep getting this pain in my eye every time a take a drink of my coffee."
The doctor says, "Try taking out the spoon."
An airplane was falling from the sky. Four were aboard, a doctor, a vet, the pilot, and a man who thought he was the smartest person in the world. There were only three parachutes.
Doctor: I'm a doctor, so I should jump down first.
So he took a parachute and jumped off the plane.
The smartest person in the world: Well, I'm the smartest man in the world so I should jump off next.
So he took a bag and jumped off. There were two people left.
Pilot: How will we decide who jumps off next?
Vet: We don't have to, the smartest man in the world just jumped off with my backpack.
A man is in the hospital and he can't talk. All of a sudden the man's wife comes in the room and stands in the corner. The man starts to act like something's wrong. So the doctor gives him a sheet of paper and pencil. The man writes something down and as soon as he finishes he folds the paper and dies. The doctor gets the note and gives it to the wife. She is curious she reads the note. It said, "You are standing on my oxygen cord."
Doctor: Next please!
Patient: Can you help me out please?
Doctor: Which way did you come in?
Patient: Oh Dr. Nerdy! Everyone seems to ignore me! It's like I'm invisi-
Dr. Nerdy: Next, please!
Doctor: What's your problem?
Patient: Doctor, I don't know why nobody wants to talk to me.
Doctor: Nurse, call the next patient!
A teenager saw twins and said to her friend, "I really need to see the doctor! I am seeing double!"
Lady: Doctor! Doctor! I only have one minute to live.
Doctor: Okay! Just a minute!
Man: Doctor! Doctor! I ate the key for my door.
Doctor: When did you eat it?
Man: About two months ago.
Doctor: Why are you coming in now?
Man: Because at that time I had another key.
Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm blind.
Man: I think you are blind. This is a chip shop!
Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I keep seeing in to the future.
Doctor: When did this start?
Patient: Next Tuesday.
Patient: Doctor, doctor. I feel invisible.
Doctor: What? What? Who said that?
Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: You have a week to live.
Patient: What's the bad news?
Doctor: I forgot to tell you six days ago.
A man said to his doctor, "I can't stop telling lies."
The doctor replied, "I don't believe you!"
Counselor: Why is your nose swelling?
Camper: I bent over to smell a brose.
Counselor: There is no b in rose.
Camper: There was a bee in this one.
Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?
Doctor: Yes, of course.
Patient: Great! I never could before!
Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.