Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Doctor Jokes

We've got lots of funny Doctor jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. Why did the snowman go to the doctor?
A. He was feeling chilled!

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

Jokes

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?" "Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist." "Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

Patient: Oh Dr. Nerdy! Everyone seems to ignore me! It's like I'm invisi- Dr. Nerdy: Next, please!
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor! Last night I had a dream I ate a giant marshmallow! Doctor: That's nice, so what's the problem? Patient: Well, when I woke up my pillow was gone!
 

Doctor: Next please! Patient: Can you help me out please? Doctor: Which way did you come in?
 

Patient: Doctor, doctor. I feel invisible. Doctor: What? What? Who said that?
 

Counselor: Why is your nose swelling? Camper: I bent over to smell a brose. Counselor: There is no b in rose. Camper: There was a bee in this one.
 

Doctor: What's your problem? Patient: Doctor, I don't know why nobody wants to talk to me. Doctor: Nurse, call the next patient!
 

Patient: Doctor! Doctor! I think I am losing my memory! Doctor: When did that happen? Patient: When did what happen!
 


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