Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Doctor Jokes

We've got lots of funny Doctor jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why did the snowman go to the doctor?
A. He was feeling chilled!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

Jokes

Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation? Doctor: Yes, of course. Patient: Great! I never could before!
 

Patient: Doctor! Doctor! I think I am losing my memory! Doctor: When did that happen? Patient: When did what happen!
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I keep seeing in to the future. Doctor: When did this start? Patient: Next Tuesday.
 

Doctor: Next please! Patient: Can you help me out please? Doctor: Which way did you come in?
 

Man: Doctor! Doctor! I ate the key for my door. Doctor: When did you eat it? Man: About two months ago. Doctor: Why are you coming in now? Man: Because at that time I had another key.
 

A teenager saw twins and said to her friend, "I really need to see the doctor! I am seeing double!"
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?" "Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist." "Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I'm going to die in 59 seconds! Doctor: Hang on, I'll be there in a minute.
 

Counselor: Why is your nose swelling? Camper: I bent over to smell a brose. Counselor: There is no b in rose. Camper: There was a bee in this one.
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 


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