We've got lots of funny Christmas jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D
Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!
Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.
Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."
Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!
Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!
Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels.
Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!
Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.
Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!
Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.
Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.
Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!
Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!
Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!
Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.
Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.
Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"
Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.
Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.
Santa Clause! Knock, knock
Snow use. I forgot my name again! Knock, knock
Sandy Claus! Knock, knock
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you! Knock, knock
They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
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