We've got lots of funny Christmas jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D
Knock Knock Jokes continue below video…
Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!
Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.
Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!
Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.
Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.
Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!
Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
Q. What is a reindeer's favorite instrument?
Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."
Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.
Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.
Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!
Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.
Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men would stand out in the snow without a coat.
Q. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A. Nothing, reindeer can't talk.
Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?
A. Just long enough to reach the ground!
Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.
Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.
Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!
Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!
Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.
Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!
Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.
Q. What do you get if you cross Santa and a dog?
A. Santa Paws!
Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!
Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.
Q. How do you know Santa is good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!
Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!
Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!
Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."
Q. What is the cleanest reindeer called?
Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!
Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!
Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!
Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.
Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels.
Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!
Q. Which elf was the best singer?
A. ELFis Presley.
Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!
Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.
Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.
Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"
Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.
Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.
Q. How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A. You can sense his presents.
Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!
Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
Q. What is big, red and flies in the sky?
A. Santa Claus.
Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!
Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.
Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
Q. What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
A. Silent Night.
Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!
Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.
Q. What's red and white, red and white, red and white?
A. Santa Claus rolling down the hill.
Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed Krabby Patty.
Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...
Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!
Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"
Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!
Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.
Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!
Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.
Q. What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A. A list of everything you want!
Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!
Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!
Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."
Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!
Q. Who is Frosty's favorite aunt?
A. Aunt Artica!
Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas! Knock, knock
Santa Clause! Knock, knock
Irish you a Merry Christmas! Knock, knock
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year! Knock, knock
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you! Knock, knock
Snow use. I forgot my name again! Knock, knock
Sandy Claus! Knock, knock
The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!