Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Jokes

We've got lots of funny jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A. Because chickens weren't invented yet.

Q. What's a frog's favorite year?
A. Leap year!

Q. Where is the zombie's favorite room in the house?
A. The living room.

Q. What school do planets and stars go to to study?
A. UNIVERSity!

Q. What do you take before every meal?
A. A seat!

Q. What kind of murderer has fibre?
A. A cereal killer.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!

Q. What has a neck but can't swallow?
A. A bottle.

Q. What is green, small and round and goes up and down?
A. A pea in a lift.

Q. Why do people like vampires so much?
A. Because they are FANGtastic!

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
A. A creamy quacker!

Q. What do wrestler's drinks come in?
A. Six packs!

Q. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
A. Real rocks would be too heavy!

Q. What is a 3 letter word that gets bigger when you add 3 letters?
A. Big!

Q. Why did Peter Pan always fly and never stop?
A. Because he could never never land.

Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.

Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!

Q. How do you make cool music?
A. Put your CD's in the fridge.

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Tee
Tee who?
Tee hee!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Teresa
Teresa who?
Teresa are green!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Philip
Philip who?
Philip up my glass please, I'm thirsty!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Interrupting pirate.
Interrup...
Arr!

Jokes

A girl went out one day and when she came back her house was on fire. She called the fire department and the lady that answered the phone told her to calm down. Then the lady asked, "How do we get to your house?"
The girl replied, "DUH! On your big red truck!"
 

There were 3 cats, The first cat said, "Meow."
Second cat said, "Meow."
Third cat said, "Meow, meow."
The first cat said, "Don't change the subject."
 

Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it?
Student: Obviously it is the past tense.
 

Italy got Hungary, ate Turkey, slipped in Greece, broke China, went shopping in Iceland and got eaten by Whales.
 

A teacher asked a girl, "How was the Red Sea formed?"
The girl said, "Sorry Miss, I don't know who painted it."
 

Teacher: How do you spell Mississippi?
George: The state or the river?
 

Think about the phrase " There are plenty of other fish in the sea," but then again, who would want to date fish?
 

Once there was an alien that came from space. He heard the words, "He stole my lollipop." Then he went to the utensils store and heard, "Forks and knives." Then he went to the electricity store and heard, "Plug it in, plug it in."

When he went back to his spaceship he noticed the police were there. They asked him what was wrong and he said, "He stole my lollipop."
"What did you do to him?" They asked.
"Forks and knives," replied the alien.
"If you resist arrest we will have to tazer you?"
"Plug it in, plug it in!"
 

A vicar was going to a funeral. After 2 hours on the motorway, he reaches the funeral. When he gets there, he gets out of the car, puts his satnav in his pocket (but forgets to turn it off). Once he had read all the prayers, the coffin was brought to be buried with all the relatives standing around it. Suddenly, the satnav says, "You have reached your final destination!"
 

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!
 


To see more jokes, click the Refresh button, below.

 We also have jokes about…