Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Jokes

We've got lots of funny jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. How do you keep someone in suspense?
A. I'll tell you tomorrow.

Q. What does a triceratops sit on?
A. Its tricera-bottom!

Q. Why was the computer late to work?
A. He had a hard-drive.

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. A sunburned zebra!

Q. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A. A rocker spaniel.

Q. How do snowmen greet each other?
A. They say, "Have an ICE day!"

Q. What does the Invisible Man drink at snack time?
A. Evaporated milk.

Q. You're stuck in a cement box, all you have is a mirror and a table, how do you get out?
A. You take the mirror, you see what you saw, grab the saw, cut the table in half, one half plus one half equals one whole, you take the hole put it in the wall and walk out.

Q. What 10 letter word starts with gas?
A. An A-U-T-O-M-O-B-I-L-E.

Q. What do cows like to put on their sandwiches?
A. MOOstard!

Q. What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A. A milkshake!

Q. What is black, white and red?
A. A panda with a rash!

Q. How do you know an elephant is under your blanket?
A. Because when you get in your bed your nose touches the ceiling.

Q. What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?
A. A cab.

Q. What did the sun say to the sheep and the cloud?
A. "Whoa, are y'all related?"

Q. What do skeletons say at the front door?
A. "Crick or creak!"

Q. What is black, white and red all over?
A. An embarassed zebra!

Q. What runs around a house but never moves?
A. A fence.

Q. Have you heard the joke about the pizza?
A. Never mind, it's too cheesy!

Q. Why did Mickey Mouse go to space?
A. To find Pluto.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Easter
Easter who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Easter
Easter who?
The Easter Bunny!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Your mom
Your mom who?
Your mom! Now open the door or you're grounded.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Zaire
Zaire who?
Zaire is polluted!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Your mom
Your mom who?
Your mom! Now open the door or you're grounded.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Zaire
Zaire who?
Zaire is polluted!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cereal
Cereal who?
Cereal pleasure to meet you!

(Sing) Stay on the sunny side, always on the sunny side, stay on the sunny side of life, of life. May it cause you no pain, may it drive you insane, stay on the sunny side of life, of life.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Easter
Easter who?
Easter bunny.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
More
More who?
More Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Even more
Even more who?
Even more Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Car
Car who?
Car come and run over the Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my Easter candy!

Jokes

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. Winnie: Me!
 

Girl: What did one ocean say to the other? Boy: What? Girl: Nothing, they just waved! Boy: Oh. Girl: Do you SEA what I did there? Boy: Um no? Girl: I'm SHORE you did!
 

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
 

Screen door: Something kids get a bang out of!
 

Dan: What do you get if you cross a pro baseball player with some cake ingrediants? Sam: What? Dan: A batter.
 

Three men were captured by cannibals. The cannibals got hungry so they took a man out of his cage and asked him, "You have two choices to die. You can shoot yourself or we can boil you in a soup and use your skin for our canoe." The man said, " I will shoot myself." Three months later the cannibals got hungry again. They took out the second man and said, "You have two choices to die. You can shoot yourself or we can boil you in a soup and use your skin for our canoe." The man said, " I will shoot myself." Three months later the cannibals got hungry again. They took out the last guy and said, "You don't have a choice we are going to boil you in our soup and use your skin for our canoe. Do you have any last requests?" The man said, "Can I have a fork?" They got him a fork and he started poking his arm while saying, "Just try to make a canoe now!"
 

Me: I have a pizza joke! Friend: What is it? Me: Never mind! It's too cheesy!
 

Patron: Waiter, what's this Praying Mantis doing in my soup? Waiter: Saying grace.
 

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your dad for another, how much would you have? Boy: One dollar. Teacher: Are you sure? Boy: Yes, my dad wouldn't give me a dollar!
 

One day a lady entered a pet shop. Lady: May I have a rabbit for my daughter? Storekeeper: Sorry Ma'am, we don't do trades.
 


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