Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Funny Jokes

We've got lots of funny jokes for you! These jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

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Screen door: Something kids get a bang out of!

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?

Martin Luther Chicken Jr. says: "I dream of a world where chickens can cross roads and not be questioned of their reason!"

Dad: Go buy us a drink.
Son: Coke or Pepsi?
Dad: Coke.
Son: Normal or diet?
Dad: Normal.
Son: Bottle or can?
Dad: Bottle.
Son: 1L or 0.5L?
Dad: Just go buy some water!
Son: Carbonated or normal?
Dad: Normal!
Son: Cold or hot?
Dad: Get out!
Son: Now or later?
Dad: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

A newspaper reporter submitted a story about the theft of 2,025 pigs.
His editor, struck at the size of the theft, called the farmer to confirm.
"Is it true that you lost two thousand twenty-five pigs?" he asked.
"Yeth," said the farmer.
The editor thanked him, hung up, and changed the phrase to "two sows and 25 pigs."

Jokes continue below video…

Larry watched fascinated as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
"Why do you do that Mom?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," said his mother who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter," asked Larry..."are you giving up?"

When my brother told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.

A man tried to sell me a coffin today and I said, "That's the last thing I need!"

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

I started reading a book about anti-gravity and now I can’t put it down.

England may not have a kidney bank but at least it has a Liverpool.

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