Squigly Jokes and Riddles

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School Jokes for Kids

Funny back to school jokes and riddles for kids, by kids!

Read our collection of hilarious school jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Back to school jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A. Because the teacher told him to take a seat.

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Riddles continue below video…

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.

Q. What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A. A synonym roll.

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A. To stay in shape!

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. Where do pencils come from?
A. Pennsylvania.

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A. Because she thought it was a high school.

Q. Which bet can't be won?
A. Alphabet.

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Jokes

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A boy came home from school. "How much did you learn in school today?" His mother asked.
"Not enough, I have to go back again tomorrow."
 

Art teacher: Mimi, I told the class to draw a horse and cart, but you have only drawn a horse!
Mimi: Yes sir, the horse will draw the cart!
 

Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Student: That's not fair! You answered the easy ones and left me with the hard one!
 

Principal: Well, Ronald, I hear you missed the first day back to school.
Ronald: Yeah, but I didn't miss it very much.
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

A teacher asked her first grade class to bring their birth certificates to class. When the time came to give them to her, David stood up and said very politely, "Teacher, I forgot my excuse for being born."
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with I.
Millie: I is...
Teacher: No, Millie. Always say I am.
Millie: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
 

Joey: Little Joey can't come to school today.
Principal: Why?
Joey: He is sick
Principal: Who is this?
Joey: It's my dad.
 

Teacher: How many seconds in a minute?
Student: 60
Teacher: How many minutes in an hour?
Student: 60
Teacher: Good, now for a hard one, how many seconds in a year?
Student: 12
Teacher: 12?
Student: Yes, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...
 

Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher.
 

Teacher: Joe, can you name two pronouns?
Joe just waking up: Who, me?
 

Student: The brain is a wonderful thing.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Student: Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!
 

When Dad came home he was astonished to see Alec sitting on a horse writing something. "What on earth are you doing up there?" Dad asked.
"Well the teacher told us to write an essay on our favourite animal. That's why I'm up here and sitting on the goldfish bowl!"
 

A teacher said, "Children, stand in a straight circle!"
 

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand?
 

Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it?
Student: Obviously it is the past tense.
 

It was the first day of school and the teacher asked all the troublemakers to stand up. Finally this girl stood up and the teacher asked, "Are you a troublemaker?"
The girl said, "No." The teacher asked why she was standing and the girl said, "You looked lonely."
 

Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing?
Johnny: Nothing, sir.
Headmaster: Exactly.
 

Mother: George, why does your geography exam have a big zero over it?
George: It is not a zero, Mum. The teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead!
 

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: Me!
 

Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth?
Boy: I don't know?
Teacher: Think of the apple story.
Boy: I know, Granny Smith!
 

Mom: Why aren't you doing well in history?
Child: Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!
 

Teacher: Fred, the story you handed in called "Our Dog," is exactly like your brother's.
Fred: Of course. It's the same dog.
 

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
 

Teacher: Have you completed the work at home?
Student: No, sir.
Teacher (angrily): Why?
Student: Because my father has hired servants to do the work at home.
 

Teacher: If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took two, what would you get?
Billy: A fight!
 

Teacher: Joey, I thought I told you to stand at the END of the line!
Joey: I tried, but someone was already standing there!
 

If teachers are so smart then why are they in school?
 

A teacher says to a student, "I thought I told you to go to the back of the line?"
The student says, "I did, but someone was there!"
 

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