Squigly Jokes and Riddles

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School Jokes for Kids

Funny back to school jokes and riddles for kids, by kids!

Read our collection of hilarious school jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Back to school jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A. Because the teacher told him to take a seat.

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A. A synonym roll.

Q. What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
A. Owlgebra.

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A. To stay in shape!

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.

Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. What happened to the Easter Bunny when he was naughty at school?
A. He was eggs-pelled!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Riddles continue below video…

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A. Because she thought it was a high school.

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. Which bet can't be won?
A. Alphabet.

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. Where do pencils come from?
A. Pennsylvania.

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Jokes

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The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present.
The student: I walk. You walk, ..
The teacher interrupts him: Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run.
 

Teacher: Take a seat!
Student: Take it where?
 

Teacher: Are you cold?
Student: Yes.
Teacher: Go sit in the corner it's 90 degrees!
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
 

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
 

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: Me!
 

A boy showed his mom his report card and said, "Mom I'm 3rd in my class."
The mom said, "Good job!"
Then the boy said, "But there are only three boys in my class!"
 

Mom: What did you learn on your first day of school?
Child: Not enough, they want me to come back tomorrow!
 

Art teacher: Mimi, I told the class to draw a horse and cart, but you have only drawn a horse!
Mimi: Yes sir, the horse will draw the cart!
 

Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Student: That's not fair! You answered the easy ones and left me with the hard one!
 

There was a kid named Joey and he couldn't add, so when they had a test on addition he copied off John's paper. When he was finished with the test his teacher said: Joey why did you copy off John's paper?
Joey: I didn't.
Teacher: Yes you did.
Joey: How did you know?
Teacher: I knew because when John wrote, "I don't know," on question #6, you wrote, "me neither."
 

Teacher: Joe, can you name two pronouns?
Joe just waking up: Who, me?
 

Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it.
Student: If I had a sweater with ten buttons and two fell off, then I would only have to fascinate (fasten eight)!
 

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the classroom. The teacher asked why are you arguing. One of the boys said, "We found a $10 bill and decided to give it to the person who tells the biggest lie."
The teacher said, "You should be ashamed of yourselves. When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie meant."
The two boys gave the $10 bill to the teacher.
 

Teacher: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
Glen: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
 

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your dad for another, how much would you have?
Boy: One dollar.
Teacher: Are you sure?
Boy: Yes, my dad wouldn't give me a dollar!
 

Teacher: Mark can you tell me what you would like to be in the future?
Mark: I'd like to be a billionaire and be famous.
Teacher: Interesting, what about you Esther.
Esther: I'd like to be Mark's wife!
 

A teacher asked a girl, "How was the Red Sea formed?"
The girl said, "Sorry Miss, I don't know who painted it."
 

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand?
 

A boy was told to write a 100 word essay. He thought for a bit then started. 'I went out to call my cat in for the night, so I called 'kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty...'
 

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an I. Always put 'am' after an I.
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
 

Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.
Socks can eat anywhere they want.
 

A teacher says to a student, "I thought I told you to go to the back of the line?"
The student says, "I did, but someone was there!"
 

Mom: Why aren't you doing well in history?
Child: Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!
 

Dear Teacher,

Roses are red
Voilets aren't gray
I give you this card
Now give me an A
From Jimmy
 

Once there was a boy who needed to do his home work. His homework was to write down his family's favourite words.
So when he got home he asked his mom who was listening to the radio, "What is your favourite word mom?"
"Shut up!" So he wrote that down.
Then he went to his dad who was watching football and his favourite team had just scored a goal, so the little boy asked his dad,"What is your favourite word dad?"
"Yeah!" So he wrote that down.
Next he went to his big sister and he asked her, "What is your favourite word?"
She was listening to her favourite CD and said, "A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop." So he wrote that down.
Next he went to his brother. He was watching the end of Batman, he asked him, "What is your favourite word?"
"Nananananananana Batman!" so he wrote that down.
Then he went to his baby sister who was playing with her cars. So he asked her, "What is your favourite word?"
"Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car." So he wrote that down.
The next day at school, the teacher asked him to share his homework with the class
He said, "Shut up!"
The teacher said, "Do you want to go to the principal's office?"
"Yeah!"
"What do you think you deserve?"
"A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop."
"Who do you think you are?"
"Nananananananana Batman!"
"What do you think you are going to get away with?"
"Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car."
 

Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today.
Mom: That's wonderful! What did you get a hundred in?
Stevie: In two things: I got forty in reading and sixty in spelling.
 

Now I lay my head to rest
A pile of books upon my chest
If I shall die before I wake
That's one less test I have to take.
 

Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth?
Boy: I don't know?
Teacher: Think of the apple story.
Boy: I know, Granny Smith!
 

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