Squigly Jokes and Riddles

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School Jokes for Kids

Funny back to school jokes and riddles for kids, by kids!

Read our collection of hilarious school jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Back to school jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.

Q. What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
A. Owlgebra.

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A. Because the teacher told him to take a seat.

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A. To stay in shape!

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.

Riddles continue below video…

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A. Because she thought it was a high school.

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Q. What happened to the Easter Bunny when he was naughty at school?
A. He was eggs-pelled!

Q. Which bet can't be won?
A. Alphabet.

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Jokes

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A teacher asked a boy a question after she had read her lesson. The boy just held his ears and shut his mouth
"Why are you not giving me any answer?"
"Because what ever you taught me goes in my ears and if I open my mouth, I will forget everything you said."
 

Teacher: What is the purpose of having school?
Student: Without school, there wouldn't be a reason for holidays and summer vacation.
 

Student: The brain is a wonderful thing.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Student: Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach.
Kelly: You mean she is really nice?
Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

Teacher: Joe, can you name two pronouns?
Joe just waking up: Who, me?
 

Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing?
Johnny: Nothing, sir.
Headmaster: Exactly.
 

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the classroom. The teacher asked why are you arguing. One of the boys said, "We found a $10 bill and decided to give it to the person who tells the biggest lie."
The teacher said, "You should be ashamed of yourselves. When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie meant."
The two boys gave the $10 bill to the teacher.
 

Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it?
Student: Obviously it is the past tense.
 

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
 

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.
 

Now I lay my head to rest
A pile of books upon my chest
If I shall die before I wake
That's one less test I have to take.
 

Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Student: That's not fair! You answered the easy ones and left me with the hard one!
 

Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.
 

Mom: What did you learn on your first day of school?
Child: Not enough, they want me to come back tomorrow!
 

Invisible Boy's Mother: Why are your grades so low?
Invisible Boy: Because the teacher always marks me absent.
 

Teacher: If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took two, what would you get?
Billy: A fight!
 

"Explain the theory of expansion and contraction," the teacher asked one of the pupils.
"A substance expands when it is heated and contracts when it is cooled."
"No wonder we have a long vacation in summer and a short one in winter," remarked another pupil.
 

A teacher said, "Children, stand in a straight circle!"
 

Mother: George, why does your geography exam have a big zero over it?
George: It is not a zero, Mum. The teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead!
 

It was the first day of school and the teacher asked all the troublemakers to stand up. Finally this girl stood up and the teacher asked, "Are you a troublemaker?"
The girl said, "No." The teacher asked why she was standing and the girl said, "You looked lonely."
 

Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: Maria.
 

A teacher once asked a boy, "Where is the Dead Sea?"
The boy replied, "Miss, I never knew it was sick."
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

Teacher: Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?
Nick: What do you think it is, Sir?
Teacher: I don't think, I KNOW!
Nick: I don't think I know either, Sir!
 

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: Me!
 

There was a kid named Joey and he couldn't add, so when they had a test on addition he copied off John's paper. When he was finished with the test his teacher said: Joey why did you copy off John's paper?
Joey: I didn't.
Teacher: Yes you did.
Joey: How did you know?
Teacher: I knew because when John wrote, "I don't know," on question #6, you wrote, "me neither."
 

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
 

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!
 

Art teacher: Mimi, I told the class to draw a horse and cart, but you have only drawn a horse!
Mimi: Yes sir, the horse will draw the cart!
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

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