Squigly Jokes and Riddles

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School Jokes for Kids

Funny back to school jokes and riddles for kids, by kids!

Read our collection of hilarious school jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Back to school jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Jokes

"Explain the theory of expansion and contraction," the teacher asked one of the pupils.
"A substance expands when it is heated and contracts when it is cooled."
"No wonder we have a long vacation in summer and a short one in winter," remarked another pupil.
 

Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it.
Student: If I had a sweater with ten buttons and two fell off, then I would only have to fascinate (fasten eight)!
 

Teacher: Joey, I thought I told you to stand at the END of the line!
Joey: I tried, but someone was already standing there!
 

Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.
Socks can eat anywhere they want.
 

When Dad came home he was astonished to see Alec sitting on a horse writing something. "What on earth are you doing up there?" Dad asked.
"Well the teacher told us to write an essay on our favourite animal. That's why I'm up here and sitting on the goldfish bowl!"
 

Teacher: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
Glen: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
 

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
 

Teacher: Who is smart? Put up your hand.
Then all the students except Ken raise their hand.
Teacher: Ken, why aren't you raising your hand?
Ken: Because if I raise my hand than you'll be all alone.
 

Art teacher: Mimi, I told the class to draw a horse and cart, but you have only drawn a horse!
Mimi: Yes sir, the horse will draw the cart!
 

A teacher said to a student could you count to ten for me. This is what the kid said: "1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 10."
The teacher asked, "Where is 9."
"7 ate 9," said the student matter-of-factly.
 

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