Squigly Jokes and Riddles

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School Jokes for Kids

Funny back to school jokes and riddles for kids, by kids!

Read our collection of hilarious school jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Back to school jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. Where do pencils come from?
A. Pennsylvania.

Q. What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
A. Owlgebra.

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A. A synonym roll.

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A. Because the teacher told him to take a seat.

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Riddles continue below video…

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. What happened to the Easter Bunny when he was naughty at school?
A. He was eggs-pelled!

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. Which bet can't be won?
A. Alphabet.

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Jokes

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When Dad came home he was astonished to see Alec sitting on a horse writing something. "What on earth are you doing up there?" Dad asked.
"Well the teacher told us to write an essay on our favourite animal. That's why I'm up here and sitting on the goldfish bowl!"
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

Teacher: Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?
Nick: What do you think it is, Sir?
Teacher: I don't think, I KNOW!
Nick: I don't think I know either, Sir!
 

Teacher: How do you spell Mississippi?
George: The state or the river?
 

There was a really dumb girl and she failed a test. Her teacher wanted her to come in after school and make it up. On the note home to her parents the teacher wrote: Make up test.
The following day the girl brought lipstick and eye shadow to school.
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach.
Kelly: You mean she is really nice?
Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with I.
Millie: I is...
Teacher: No, Millie. Always say I am.
Millie: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
 

Invisible Boy's Mother: Why are your grades so low?
Invisible Boy: Because the teacher always marks me absent.
 

A teacher said to a student could you count to ten for me. This is what the kid said: "1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 10."
The teacher asked, "Where is 9."
"7 ate 9," said the student matter-of-factly.
 

Teacher: Have you completed the work at home?
Student: No, sir.
Teacher (angrily): Why?
Student: Because my father has hired servants to do the work at home.
 

A teacher said, "Children, stand in a straight circle!"
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: Maria.
 

Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today.
Mom: That's wonderful! What did you get a hundred in?
Stevie: In two things: I got forty in reading and sixty in spelling.
 

Now I lay my head to rest
A pile of books upon my chest
If I shall die before I wake
That's one less test I have to take.
 

Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.
 

A boy came home from school. "How much did you learn in school today?" His mother asked.
"Not enough, I have to go back again tomorrow."
 

A teacher asked a boy a question after she had read her lesson. The boy just held his ears and shut his mouth
"Why are you not giving me any answer?"
"Because what ever you taught me goes in my ears and if I open my mouth, I will forget everything you said."
 

A small boy is asked to find out what the first 4 letters of the alphabet are for his homework.
"Mum, what's the first letter of the alphabet?"
"Shut up and go away," she replied.
The boy went to his dad. "Dad, what's the second letter of the alphabet?"
"YYYYEEEAAAHHH!!!" The boy's dad roared; football was on the TV and his team had scored.
"Brother, what is the third letter of the alphabet?" The boy asked his brother, who was playing with his action men.
"Action Man, the greatest hero of them all!" He cried.
"Sister, what is the fourth letter of the alphabet?" The boy's sister was playing with her Barbie dolls.
"Drive away in the Barbie car, beep, beep!" The boy's sister sang.

The next day in school the teacher asked the boy what the first letter was.
"Shut up and go away!" He replied.
"Do you want to see the head teacher?" Teacher yells.
"YEAH!!"
The boy is sent to the head teacher.
"Who do you think you are?" The headmaster shouts in his face.
"Action Man, the greatest hero of them all!"
"How do you think you're going to get away with this?"
"Drive away in the Barbie car, beep, beep!"
 

Teacher: What is the purpose of having school?
Student: Without school, there wouldn't be a reason for holidays and summer vacation.
 

Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.
Socks can eat anywhere they want.
 

Teacher: If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took two, what would you get?
Billy: A fight!
 

Teacher: Who is smart? Put up your hand.
Then all the students except Ken raise their hand.
Teacher: Ken, why aren't you raising your hand?
Ken: Because if I raise my hand than you'll be all alone.
 

Teacher: Mark can you tell me what you would like to be in the future?
Mark: I'd like to be a billionaire and be famous.
Teacher: Interesting, what about you Esther.
Esther: I'd like to be Mark's wife!
 

If teachers are so smart then why are they in school?
 

Teacher: Order children, order!
Student 1: I want a burger!
Student 2: I want chocolate ice cream!
Student 3: I want Lasagne!
Teacher: Sheesh!
Students: (laughing) Sorry!!!
 

Student asking his teacher: Do you punish people for things they don't do?
Teacher: No.
Student: Good, because I haven't done my homework today.
 

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!
 

Mom: What did you learn on your first day of school?
Child: Not enough, they want me to come back tomorrow!
 

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
 

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