Squigly Jokes and Riddles

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School Jokes for Kids

Funny back to school jokes and riddles for kids, by kids!

Read our collection of hilarious school jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Back to school jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A. Because she thought it was a high school.

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.

Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. Which bet can't be won?
A. Alphabet.

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. Where do pencils come from?
A. Pennsylvania.

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Riddles continue below video…

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.

Q. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A. To stay in shape!

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A. A synonym roll.

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. What happened to the Easter Bunny when he was naughty at school?
A. He was eggs-pelled!

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
A. Owlgebra.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Jokes

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Dear Teacher,

Roses are red
Voilets aren't gray
I give you this card
Now give me an A
From Jimmy
 

A teacher asked a boy a question after she had read her lesson. The boy just held his ears and shut his mouth
"Why are you not giving me any answer?"
"Because what ever you taught me goes in my ears and if I open my mouth, I will forget everything you said."
 

Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.
Socks can eat anywhere they want.
 

A small boy is asked to find out what the first 4 letters of the alphabet are for his homework.
"Mum, what's the first letter of the alphabet?"
"Shut up and go away," she replied.
The boy went to his dad. "Dad, what's the second letter of the alphabet?"
"YYYYEEEAAAHHH!!!" The boy's dad roared; football was on the TV and his team had scored.
"Brother, what is the third letter of the alphabet?" The boy asked his brother, who was playing with his action men.
"Action Man, the greatest hero of them all!" He cried.
"Sister, what is the fourth letter of the alphabet?" The boy's sister was playing with her Barbie dolls.
"Drive away in the Barbie car, beep, beep!" The boy's sister sang.

The next day in school the teacher asked the boy what the first letter was.
"Shut up and go away!" He replied.
"Do you want to see the head teacher?" Teacher yells.
"YEAH!!"
The boy is sent to the head teacher.
"Who do you think you are?" The headmaster shouts in his face.
"Action Man, the greatest hero of them all!"
"How do you think you're going to get away with this?"
"Drive away in the Barbie car, beep, beep!"
 

Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher.
 

A teacher said, "Children, stand in a straight circle!"
 

It was the first day of school and the teacher asked all the troublemakers to stand up. Finally this girl stood up and the teacher asked, "Are you a troublemaker?"
The girl said, "No." The teacher asked why she was standing and the girl said, "You looked lonely."
 

A boy came home from school. "How much did you learn in school today?" His mother asked.
"Not enough, I have to go back again tomorrow."
 

Teacher: Fred, the story you handed in called "Our Dog," is exactly like your brother's.
Fred: Of course. It's the same dog.
 

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.
 

There was a kid named Joey and he couldn't add, so when they had a test on addition he copied off John's paper. When he was finished with the test his teacher said: Joey why did you copy off John's paper?
Joey: I didn't.
Teacher: Yes you did.
Joey: How did you know?
Teacher: I knew because when John wrote, "I don't know," on question #6, you wrote, "me neither."
 

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand?
 

Teacher: Order children, order!
Student 1: I want a burger!
Student 2: I want chocolate ice cream!
Student 3: I want Lasagne!
Teacher: Sheesh!
Students: (laughing) Sorry!!!
 

Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Student: That's not fair! You answered the easy ones and left me with the hard one!
 

Student asking his teacher: Do you punish people for things they don't do?
Teacher: No.
Student: Good, because I haven't done my homework today.
 

When Dad came home he was astonished to see Alec sitting on a horse writing something. "What on earth are you doing up there?" Dad asked.
"Well the teacher told us to write an essay on our favourite animal. That's why I'm up here and sitting on the goldfish bowl!"
 

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
 

A teacher said to a student could you count to ten for me. This is what the kid said: "1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 10."
The teacher asked, "Where is 9."
"7 ate 9," said the student matter-of-factly.
 

Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it?
Student: Obviously it is the past tense.
 

Invisible Boy's Mother: Why are your grades so low?
Invisible Boy: Because the teacher always marks me absent.
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an I. Always put 'am' after an I.
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
 

A teacher says to a student, "I thought I told you to go to the back of the line?"
The student says, "I did, but someone was there!"
 

Principal: Well, Ronald, I hear you missed the first day back to school.
Ronald: Yeah, but I didn't miss it very much.
 

Teacher: Joey, I thought I told you to stand at the END of the line!
Joey: I tried, but someone was already standing there!
 

A teacher once asked a boy, "Where is the Dead Sea?"
The boy replied, "Miss, I never knew it was sick."
 

Teacher: Mark can you tell me what you would like to be in the future?
Mark: I'd like to be a billionaire and be famous.
Teacher: Interesting, what about you Esther.
Esther: I'd like to be Mark's wife!
 

A boy walked into his classroom late. "Why are you late?" the teacher asked.
"Because I saw a dead cat on the way to school," he said.
"How did you know it was dead?"
"I PSST in its ear."
"YOU DID WHAT!?"
"Yeah, I bent down and went PSST in its ear and it didn't move."
 

A boy showed his mom his report card and said, "Mom I'm 3rd in my class."
The mom said, "Good job!"
Then the boy said, "But there are only three boys in my class!"
 

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!
 

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