Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: School

School Jokes

Funny back to school jokes and riddles for kids, by kids!

Why were the kids laughing on their first day of school? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about going and being back at school. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these BTS jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. Which bet can't be won?
A. Alphabet.

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Riddles continue below video…

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A. A synonym roll.

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Jokes

Student: The brain is a wonderful thing.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Student: Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!
 

"Explain the theory of expansion and contraction," the teacher asked one of the pupils.
"A substance expands when it is heated and contracts when it is cooled."
"No wonder we have a long vacation in summer and a short one in winter," remarked another pupil.
 

A boy came home from school. "How much did you learn in school today?" His mother asked.
"Not enough, I have to go back again tomorrow."
 

A teacher says to a student, "I thought I told you to go to the back of the line?"
The student says, "I did, but someone was there!"
 

Principal: Well, Ronald, I hear you missed the first day back to school.
Ronald: Yeah, but I didn't miss it very much.
 

Teacher: What is the purpose of having school?
Student: Without school, there wouldn't be a reason for holidays and summer vacation.
 

Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with I.
Millie: I is...
Teacher: No, Millie. Always say I am.
Millie: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
 

There was a really dumb girl and she failed a test. Her teacher wanted her to come in after school and make it up. On the note home to her parents the teacher wrote: Make up test.
The following day the girl brought lipstick and eye shadow to school.
 

Teacher: Mark can you tell me what you would like to be in the future?
Mark: I'd like to be a billionaire and be famous.
Teacher: Interesting, what about you Esther.
Esther: I'd like to be Mark's wife!
 

The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present.
The student: I walk. You walk, ..
The teacher interrupts him: Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run.
 

To see some more school jokes just reload the page!

... more Back to School fun.

Riddles | Knock-Knock Jokes | Jokes
Animal Jokes | Banana Jokes | Cat Jokes | Chicken Jokes | Computer Jokes | Dinosaur Jokes
Doctor Jokes | Dog Jokes | Elephant Jokes | Food Jokes | Insect Jokes | Movie Jokes
Music Jokes | Outer Space Jokes | School Jokes | Sports Jokes | Winter Jokes
Christmas Jokes | Easter Jokes | Halloween Jokes | St. Patrick's Day Jokes | Thanksgiving Jokes | Valentine Jokes