Squigly Jokes and Riddles

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School Jokes for Kids

Funny back to school jokes and riddles for kids, by kids!

Read our collection of hilarious school jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Back to school jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A. A synonym roll.

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
A. Owlgebra.

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Riddles continue below video…

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Q. Where do pencils come from?
A. Pennsylvania.

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. Which bet can't be won?
A. Alphabet.

Q. Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A. Because the teacher told him to take a seat.

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Jokes

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Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an I. Always put 'am' after an I.
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
 

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.
 

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
 

Mother: George, why does your geography exam have a big zero over it?
George: It is not a zero, Mum. The teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead!
 

Dear Teacher,

Roses are red
Voilets aren't gray
I give you this card
Now give me an A
From Jimmy
 

Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it.
Student: If I had a sweater with ten buttons and two fell off, then I would only have to fascinate (fasten eight)!
 

Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today.
Mom: That's wonderful! What did you get a hundred in?
Stevie: In two things: I got forty in reading and sixty in spelling.
 

Teacher: Who is smart? Put up your hand.
Then all the students except Ken raise their hand.
Teacher: Ken, why aren't you raising your hand?
Ken: Because if I raise my hand than you'll be all alone.
 

Student: Teacher, Teacher!
Teacher: Yes?
Student: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: After you recite the alphabet.
Student: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z!
Teacher: Where did the P go?
Student: It's running down my leg!
 

A boy was told to write a 100 word essay. He thought for a bit then started. 'I went out to call my cat in for the night, so I called 'kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty...'
 

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand?
 

If teachers are so smart then why are they in school?
 

A teacher says to a student, "I thought I told you to go to the back of the line?"
The student says, "I did, but someone was there!"
 

A teacher asked her first grade class to bring their birth certificates to class. When the time came to give them to her, David stood up and said very politely, "Teacher, I forgot my excuse for being born."
 

Teacher: What is the purpose of having school?
Student: Without school, there wouldn't be a reason for holidays and summer vacation.
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach.
Kelly: You mean she is really nice?
Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

Principal: Well, Ronald, I hear you missed the first day back to school.
Ronald: Yeah, but I didn't miss it very much.
 

Joey: Little Joey can't come to school today.
Principal: Why?
Joey: He is sick
Principal: Who is this?
Joey: It's my dad.
 

Teacher: Take a seat!
Student: Take it where?
 

Art teacher: Mimi, I told the class to draw a horse and cart, but you have only drawn a horse!
Mimi: Yes sir, the horse will draw the cart!
 

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: Me!
 

A small boy is asked to find out what the first 4 letters of the alphabet are for his homework.
"Mum, what's the first letter of the alphabet?"
"Shut up and go away," she replied.
The boy went to his dad. "Dad, what's the second letter of the alphabet?"
"YYYYEEEAAAHHH!!!" The boy's dad roared; football was on the TV and his team had scored.
"Brother, what is the third letter of the alphabet?" The boy asked his brother, who was playing with his action men.
"Action Man, the greatest hero of them all!" He cried.
"Sister, what is the fourth letter of the alphabet?" The boy's sister was playing with her Barbie dolls.
"Drive away in the Barbie car, beep, beep!" The boy's sister sang.

The next day in school the teacher asked the boy what the first letter was.
"Shut up and go away!" He replied.
"Do you want to see the head teacher?" Teacher yells.
"YEAH!!"
The boy is sent to the head teacher.
"Who do you think you are?" The headmaster shouts in his face.
"Action Man, the greatest hero of them all!"
"How do you think you're going to get away with this?"
"Drive away in the Barbie car, beep, beep!"
 

Teacher: Mark can you tell me what you would like to be in the future?
Mark: I'd like to be a billionaire and be famous.
Teacher: Interesting, what about you Esther.
Esther: I'd like to be Mark's wife!
 

A boy showed his mom his report card and said, "Mom I'm 3rd in my class."
The mom said, "Good job!"
Then the boy said, "But there are only three boys in my class!"
 

Teacher: Are you cold?
Student: Yes.
Teacher: Go sit in the corner it's 90 degrees!
 

Teacher: Fred, the story you handed in called "Our Dog," is exactly like your brother's.
Fred: Of course. It's the same dog.
 

Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Student: That's not fair! You answered the easy ones and left me with the hard one!
 

Teacher: Have you completed the work at home?
Student: No, sir.
Teacher (angrily): Why?
Student: Because my father has hired servants to do the work at home.
 

A teacher asked a girl, "How was the Red Sea formed?"
The girl said, "Sorry Miss, I don't know who painted it."
 

Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.
Socks can eat anywhere they want.
 

... more Back to School fun.

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