Squigly Jokes and Riddles

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School Jokes for Kids

Funny back to school jokes and riddles for kids, by kids!

Read our collection of hilarious school jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Back to school jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. Which bet can't be won?
A. Alphabet.

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.

Q. What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
A. Owlgebra.

Q. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A. To stay in shape!

Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.

Q. Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A. Because the teacher told him to take a seat.

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A. Because she thought it was a high school.

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Riddles continue below video…

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Jokes

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Dad: Why is your test score so low?
Girl: Because of absence.
Dad: You were absent?
Girl: No, the girl next to me was.
 

There was a really dumb girl and she failed a test. Her teacher wanted her to come in after school and make it up. On the note home to her parents the teacher wrote: Make up test.
The following day the girl brought lipstick and eye shadow to school.
 

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
 

A boy walked into his classroom late. "Why are you late?" the teacher asked.
"Because I saw a dead cat on the way to school," he said.
"How did you know it was dead?"
"I PSST in its ear."
"YOU DID WHAT!?"
"Yeah, I bent down and went PSST in its ear and it didn't move."
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

Student: Teacher, Teacher!
Teacher: Yes?
Student: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: After you recite the alphabet.
Student: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z!
Teacher: Where did the P go?
Student: It's running down my leg!
 

Teacher: What is the purpose of having school?
Student: Without school, there wouldn't be a reason for holidays and summer vacation.
 

A teacher says to a student, "I thought I told you to go to the back of the line?"
The student says, "I did, but someone was there!"
 

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand?
 

Teacher: If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took two, what would you get?
Billy: A fight!
 

Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing?
Johnny: Nothing, sir.
Headmaster: Exactly.
 

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
 

Mom: What did you learn on your first day of school?
Child: Not enough, they want me to come back tomorrow!
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach.
Kelly: You mean she is really nice?
Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

Once there was a boy who needed to do his home work. His homework was to write down his family's favourite words.
So when he got home he asked his mom who was listening to the radio, "What is your favourite word mom?"
"Shut up!" So he wrote that down.
Then he went to his dad who was watching football and his favourite team had just scored a goal, so the little boy asked his dad,"What is your favourite word dad?"
"Yeah!" So he wrote that down.
Next he went to his big sister and he asked her, "What is your favourite word?"
She was listening to her favourite CD and said, "A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop." So he wrote that down.
Next he went to his brother. He was watching the end of Batman, he asked him, "What is your favourite word?"
"Nananananananana Batman!" so he wrote that down.
Then he went to his baby sister who was playing with her cars. So he asked her, "What is your favourite word?"
"Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car." So he wrote that down.
The next day at school, the teacher asked him to share his homework with the class
He said, "Shut up!"
The teacher said, "Do you want to go to the principal's office?"
"Yeah!"
"What do you think you deserve?"
"A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop."
"Who do you think you are?"
"Nananananananana Batman!"
"What do you think you are going to get away with?"
"Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car."
 

A teacher once asked a boy, "Where is the Dead Sea?"
The boy replied, "Miss, I never knew it was sick."
 

Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth?
Boy: I don't know?
Teacher: Think of the apple story.
Boy: I know, Granny Smith!
 

The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present.
The student: I walk. You walk, ..
The teacher interrupts him: Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run.
 

A teacher asked a girl, "How was the Red Sea formed?"
The girl said, "Sorry Miss, I don't know who painted it."
 

A teacher asked her first grade class to bring their birth certificates to class. When the time came to give them to her, David stood up and said very politely, "Teacher, I forgot my excuse for being born."
 

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.
 

Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: Maria.
 

A teacher asked a boy a question after she had read her lesson. The boy just held his ears and shut his mouth
"Why are you not giving me any answer?"
"Because what ever you taught me goes in my ears and if I open my mouth, I will forget everything you said."
 

Teacher: Are you cold?
Student: Yes.
Teacher: Go sit in the corner it's 90 degrees!
 

Teacher: Who is smart? Put up your hand.
Then all the students except Ken raise their hand.
Teacher: Ken, why aren't you raising your hand?
Ken: Because if I raise my hand than you'll be all alone.
 

Mother: George, why does your geography exam have a big zero over it?
George: It is not a zero, Mum. The teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead!
 

There was a kid named Joey and he couldn't add, so when they had a test on addition he copied off John's paper. When he was finished with the test his teacher said: Joey why did you copy off John's paper?
Joey: I didn't.
Teacher: Yes you did.
Joey: How did you know?
Teacher: I knew because when John wrote, "I don't know," on question #6, you wrote, "me neither."
 

Teacher: Have you completed the work at home?
Student: No, sir.
Teacher (angrily): Why?
Student: Because my father has hired servants to do the work at home.
 

Student: The brain is a wonderful thing.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Student: Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!
 

Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it.
Student: If I had a sweater with ten buttons and two fell off, then I would only have to fascinate (fasten eight)!
 

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