Read our huge collection of funny riddles for kids! All our riddles include answers and have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Laugh out loud at these clever and silly riddles sent in by kids visiting our playhouse. Share them with your kids, students and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. We know these riddles will make you laugh out loud! :D
Riddles continue below video…
Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!
Q. What did the fish say to the octopus while the octopus was eating?
A. Lend me a tentacle or 8.
Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!
Q. What did one burp say to the next?
A. Let's be stinkers and sneak out the back!
Q. What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday?
A. "Thank you, I will never part with it."
Q. Why did the cookie cry?
A. Because his mother was a wafer too long!
Q. Why was the ant confused?
A. Because all of his uncles were ants!
Q. What is red when you go and green when you stop?
A. A watermelon.
Q. What is in fingers, toolboxes and snails?
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!
Q. What is as light as a feather but not even the strongest man in the world can hold it for more than a few minutes?
Q. Take me out of the box, scratch my head, I am now black but once was red. What am I?
A. A match!
Q. Did you hear the joke about the egg that rolled in front of a truck?
A. Most people find they crack up!
Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
Q. Why didn't the police catch the banana?
A. Because it split!
Q. Why do people like vampires so much?
A. Because they are FANGtastic!
Q. What do you say in the evening to a soldier in shining armor?
A. Night, night, Knight.
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get to the other side.
Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. A sunburned zebra!
Q. What do race car driver's eat?
A. Fast food!
Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!
Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!
Q. What does the pink panther do with his camera?
A. He takes PINKtures!
Q. What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left for school?
Q. Why should you never shower with a pokemon?
A. Because they Pikachu (peek at you).
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. Because it was the chicken's day off.
Q. What tools do you need for math?
Q. What did the sea say to the shore?
A. Nothing, it just waved.
Q. If you have a referee in football and an umpire in cricket, what do you have in bowls?
Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"
Q. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A. A BULL-dozer.
Q. What did the spider do when he went on his computer?
A. He went on his web site!
Q. What did Delaware?
A. A New Jersey!
Q. You're stuck in a cement box, all you have is a mirror and a table, how do you get out?
A. You take the mirror, you see what you saw, grab the saw, cut the table in half, one half plus one half equals one whole, you take the hole put it in the wall and walk out.
Q. What does a phone eat?
Q. Why did the oak tree have to eat his ice cream in a dish?
A. The pine tree wouldn't give him a cone!
Q. Why did the newspaper blush?
A. Because he saw the comic strip.
Q. Why was the elephant afraid of the computer store?
A. Because they sold the world's best mice.
Q. What do you call a dancing ant?
A. A dANTcer!
Q. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and put the elephant in and then close the door.
Q. How do you stop a mouse from squealing?
A. Oil it.
Q. What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder?
A. He got a little behind in his work!
Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!
Q. What do a duck and a tricycle have in common?
A. They both have a steering wheel, except for the duck.
Q. How do you catch a school of fish?
A. With a bookworm.
Q. What stands in the middle of an ocean?
A. The letter E!
Q. What did the shark say when he bumped into a whale?
A. "I didn't do it on porpoise!" (purpose)
Q. What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
A. "You look flushed."
Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.
Q. What did the baseball say to the cake batter?
A. "Batter up."
Q. What do you call a deer that makes money?
A. A buck!
Q. What do you do with dead elements?
Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs at the front door?
Q. What do they serve for lunch at karate camp?
A. Kung Food!
Q. What do you get if you cross a cow with a smurf?
A. Blue cheese!
Q. What has a face and two hands but no arms or legs?
A. A clock.
Q. What has four wheels and flies?
A. Garbage truck!
Q. How did Burger King propose to his girlfriend?
A. With an onion ring.
Q. What is a cow's favourite movie?
Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
Q. Why did the willow weep?
A. Because it saw the water fall (waterfall).
Q. Why did the TV go out with the heater?
A. Because he thought she was hot!
Q. There is a restaurant that is shaped like an oval. Inside there are waiters, a chef, a hostess, and a janitor. The restaurant opens and later that night the lights go off. Then when the lights turn on everyone except the staff is dead. So, the next day an investigator comes and asks people what they where doing that night. He asked the waiters what they were doing and they said, "Serving customers."
He asked the chef, and the chef said, "He was cooking."
Then he asked the janitor and he said he was sweeping in the corners.
Who killed everyone?
A. The janitor, because there are no corners in a circular restaurant!
Q. What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
A. "You go on without me, I'll ketchup!"
Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. Pork Chop!
Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!
Q. What does a bird say on Halloween?
A. Twick or tweet!
Q. A cowboy rode into town on Friday, stayed for 3 days and left on Friday. How did he do it?
A. His horse's name was Friday.
Q. What do you call a football player whose helmet is too tight?
A. Call him anthing you want, he can't hear you!
Q. What do you call an ant who studies accounts?
A. An accountANT.
Q. What letter is a vegetable?
Q. What is a shark's favourite food?
A. Fish and ships.
Q. What does a cloud wear under it's raincoat?
Q. What did the ghost say when it sneezed?
A. "Ahh BOO!"
Q. What do you call a break up between a boy and a girl banana?
A. A banana split.
Q. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A. In case he got a hole in one!
Q. Why did the horse cross the road?
A. To get to the other NEIGH-bourhood.
Q. What kind of shoes do mice like?
Q. What do you get when you put a radio in a fridge?
A. Cool music!
Q. Why did the baseball player get arrested?
A. Because he was caught stealing second base!
Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. An injured penguin.
Q. What did the hat say to the scarf?
A. "You can hang around. I'll just go on a head!"
Q. If you're Scottish when you go into the bathroom and you're Scottish when you go out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the toilet?
A. European (you are peeing).
Q. How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?
Q. What did the fish say to the other fish?
A. "(O)(o)(O)(o)(O)" (Hello)
Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!
Q. What did the bread say to the knife?
A. "Don't try to butter me up."
Q. What is black, white and red all over?
A. An embarassed zebra!
Q. Can you name two things that have an eye buy can't see?
A. A needle and a hurricane!
Q. Why did the goose cross the road?
A. He didn't want to be called a chicken!
Q. Where do you learn to make ice cream?
A. At Sundae School!
Q. What do you call a dentist in the army?
A. A drill sergeant.
Q. What goes up a chimney down, but doesn't go down a chimney up?
A. An umbrella.
Q. What is the quickest way to double your money?
A. Fold it in half!
Q. What did the candle say to the other candle?
A. "Are you going out tonight?"
Q. How do you make varnish disappear?
A. Take away the R!
Q. What should you do when you see a green alien?
A. Wait until it's ripe!
Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.
Q. What do you get if you throw butter?
A. A butterfly!
Q. What day has day in it but isn't Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or Saturday?
Q. What do you call an Italian cow that likes coffee?
Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!
Q. What do birds get when they are ill?
Q. What do you call a giant with carrots in his ears?
A. Anything you want, he can't hear you!
Q. What's invisible and smells like carrots?
A. Bunny toots!
Q. What tree do fingers grow off of?
A. A palm tree!
Q. What has 6 legs, 4 eyes, 4 ears, 2 noses, 2 mouths and 2 heads?
A. A man sitting on a horse.
Q. What can you catch but never throw?
A. A cold.
Q. Where do pirates like to eat?
Q. What did the cab driver wear to the ball?
A. A TAXIdo!
Q. Why is England the wettest country?
A. Because the queen has reigned there for years!
Q. Why was the computer late to work?
A. He had a hard-drive.
Q. What happens when you throw a purple rock into a yellow stream?
A. It makes a splash.
Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.
Q. What do you do if something charges at you?
A. You take away its credit card!
Q. Did you hear about the kidnapping?
A. He finally woke up!
Q. What is always blue (sad) but always smiles?
A. A smurf.
Q. What did the joey say to the turtle?
A. "I can take my home with me too."
Q. What can you break without touching it?
A. Someone's heart.
Q. There was a man who walked into a bar and asked if he could have a glass of water but the bartender pointed a gun at him and the man who asked for water said thank you and left. Why did he say thank you?
A. Because the man had the hiccups.
Q. How do you make a Kleenex dance?
A. You put a little boogie in it!
Q. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?
A. A buccaneer (A buck an ear)
Q. Why was the clock in the cafeteria always slow?
A. Because every lunch it went back four seconds!
Q. Why were the police suspicious of the window drapes?
A. They were shady.
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
Q. What do you call an overweight E.T.?
A. Extra Cholesterol!
Q. Where is the zombie's favorite room in the house?
A. The living room.
Q. Why was the girl staring at the juice box?
A. Because it said: "Concentrate."
Q. What rolls and jumps but never walks?
A. A soccer ball!
Q. If you see more of it, you see less of everything else. What is it?
Q. Paul is six feet tall. He is an assistant in a butcher shop. He wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
Q. Why don't football players get hot?
A. Because of all their fans!
Q. What is a bird's favorite treat?
Q. What is brown and sticky?
A. A stick.
Q. I have four wings but I never fly, I never laugh and never cry. On the same spot I'm always found, toiling away with a squeaking sound. I turn but my body doesn't move. What am I?
A. A windmill that needs oiling.
Q. What did the picture say to the other picture?
A. "How long have you been hanging around here?"
Q. What does a cow grow on its face?
A. A MOOstache.
Q. Why did the nose cross the street?
A. He was getting picked on!
Q. What did the bread say to the man?
A. Nothing, bread can't talk.
Q. What do fish take to stay alive?
A. Vitamin sea.
Q. If chickens get up when the rooster crows, when do ducks get up?
A. At the quack of dawn!
Q. What do you call a bunny with fleas?
A. Bugs Bunny.
Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.
Q. What do you call a snail on a ship?
A. A snailor.
Q. Why was the pencil crying?
A. Because he was POINTLESS!
Q. What has a tongue but can't talk?
A. A shoe!
Q. What is the fastest country in the world?
Q. What do you call a man in a bush?
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