Read our huge collection of funny riddles for kids! All our riddles include answers and have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Laugh out loud at these clever and silly riddles sent in by kids visiting our playhouse. Share them with your kids, students and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. We know these riddles will make you laugh out loud! :D
Riddles continue below video…
Q. Why did the monkey cross the road?
A. Because the chicken retired.
Q. What does the baby popcorn call his dad?
Q. Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A. Because they are always a little short!
Q. Why are rivers so rich?
A. Because they have 2 banks.
Q. What do you call a deer that makes money?
A. A buck!
Q. How do you make cool music?
A. Put your CD's in the fridge.
Q. How do you make varnish disappear?
A. Take away the R!
Q. Why is Cinderella a bad football player?
A. Because she has a pumpkin as a coach!
Q. What is the easiest way to be on TV?
A. Sit on it!
Q. When is the best time to buy budgies?
A. When they're going cheap.
Q. Why didn't the lifegaurd save the hippie?
A. Because he was too far out, man.
Q. How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?
Q. Where did the boy take his pet pig to?
A. The Ham-usement park!
Q. Why did the bank robber take a bath?
A. So he could make a clean getaway.
Q. Why wouldn't the oyster give up her pearl?
A. She was shellfish [selfish].
Q. What is Santa's favorite snack?
A. Ho, hos!
Q. Why was the clock in the cafeteria always slow?
A. Because every lunch it went back four seconds!
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Q. What has a forest with no trees, lakes without water, roads with no cars and deserts with no sand?
A. A map!
Q. What is the biggest word in the world?
A. Smiles. There is a mile in between each S.
Q. In what way can the letter A help a deaf lady?
A. It can make her hear.
Q. What country has the most church bells?
Q. What do you call a deaf dinosaur?
A. Anything you like, he can't hear you!
Q. Why was the horse unable to get into the antelopes' music club?
A. He had no horns!
Q. Why did the willow weep?
A. Because it saw the water fall (waterfall).
Q. What did the firefly say to the other firefly?
A. "You glow, girl!"
Q. What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A. A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.
Q. Why don't ducks tell jokes when they are flying?
A. Because they just might quack up.
Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.
Q. What is always blue (sad) but always smiles?
A. A smurf.
Q. Mary was shot in the head. She managed to avoid being hospitalized and she's as healthy as can be. How can this be?
A. She had a modeling audition. So, they took her head shots.
Q. What kind of shoes do mice like?
Q. What do frogs drink?
Q. How do you communicate with a fish?
A. Drop it a line.
Q. There is a one story house and everything in it is blue. The walls are blue, the ceiling is blue and the floor is blue. What color are the stairs?
A. There are no stairs in a one story house!
Q. Whoever makes it, tells it not. Whoever takes it, knows it not. Whoever knows it, wants it not. What is it?
A. Counterfeit money.
Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. A penguin doing 100 push ups.
Q. What starts and ends with an O and has hi in the middle?
Q. What do you call a dentist in the army?
A. A drill sergeant.
Q. What kind of birds always stay together?
Q. What does Dracula say when he doesn't have good news?
A. "I have BAT news, everyone!"
Q. Why did Peter Pan always fly and never stop?
A. Because he could never never land.
Q. Does France have a fourth of July?
A. Of course they do.
Q. Why did the bird go to the restaurant?
A. Because he wanted a tweet!
Q. What do you call a crab that will not share?
A. A selfish. (Shellfish)
Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!
Q. What has 6 eyes but cannot see?
A. Three blind mice.
Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!
Q. Why couldn't the skeleton laugh?
A. Because he lost his funny bone.
Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!
Q. Where can you always find happiness?
A. In a dictionary!
Q. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A. An investiGATOR!
Q. In a green house lives a green man and in the pink house lives a pink man. Who lives in the white house?
A. The president.
Q. Where did the boat go when it was sick?
A. His dock.
Q. How come my uncle does not brush his hair?
A. Because he is bald.
Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.
Q. How do eggs get to the shop?
A. In a CARton!
Q. Why did the cow go to Hollywood?
A. She wanted to be a movie star.
Q. What is black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
A. Two skunks fighting over a pickle.
Q. Why can't a leopard hide?
A. Because he's always spotted!
Q. How do you attach a duck to the wall?
A. With Duck tape!
Q. Why did the TV go out with the heater?
A. Because he thought she was hot!
Q. Which animal is the oldest in the world?
A. The zebra because it's still black and white.
Q. I have four wings but I never fly, I never laugh and never cry. On the same spot I'm always found, toiling away with a squeaking sound. I turn but my body doesn't move. What am I?
A. A windmill that needs oiling.
Q. What do you call a bell that can do gymnastics?
A. A flexi-bell.
Q. What kind of monkey can fly?
A. A hot air BABOON!
Q. What did the traffic light say to the car?
A. "Don't look. I'm changing!"
Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.
Q. Why did the turkey cross the road?
A. Because it was the chicken's day off!
Q. What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A. "I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand."
Q. What kind of murderer has fibre?
A. A cereal killer.
Q. What did the cow say to the other cow?
A. "MOOve over!"
Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
Q. Why are ghosts always hungry?
A. Because the food goes right through them!
Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.
Q. What has a lot of keys but can't open doors?
A. A piano.
Q. Why did Mickey Mouse go to space?
A. To find Pluto.
Q. What disappears when you stand up?
A. Your lap!
Q. What is black, white and red all over?
A. An embarassed zebra!
Q. What day has day in it but isn't Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or Saturday?
Q. Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?
Q. What do you call a football player whose helmet is too tight?
A. Call him anthing you want, he can't hear you!
Q. What sits outside all year long and is Irish?
A. Paddy O'furniture.
Q. What do you get if you cross a porcupine and a giraffe?
A. A seven metre long toothbrush!
Q. Where do trees store their valuables?
A. In their trunk!
Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a camel?
A. A lumpy milkshake!
Q. Where does a 600 pound gorilla sit?
A. Anywhere he wants!
Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.
Q. What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
A. Jurassic Pork.
Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!
Q. How do you get Pikachu on the bus?
A. You Pokemon!
Q. What always runs, never walks, often murmurs, never talks, has a bed but doesn't sleep, has a mouth but never eats?
A. A river!
Q. What is a cat's favorite color?
Q. What sort of appliance does a monkey use?
A. A gorilla. (A griller)
Q. What's the longest word in the dictionary?
A. Rubber band because it stretches!
Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.
Q. Why was the dog sitting next to the fire?
A. He was a hotdog!
Q. Why did Patrick eat money?
A. His mum said it was his lunch money.
Q. There are 30 white horses on a red hill. They stomp, chomp and they stop. What are they?
A. Your teeth.
Q. What do miners put on their face at night?
A. Coal cream.
Q. What four letters frighten a thief?
A. O I C U!
Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.
Q. What kind of bats swing upside down?
Q. How do you get rid of a boomerang?
A. Throw it down a one way street!
Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. To get to the MOOvies.
Q. There was a train with passengers inside. Suddenly the train crashed, where would the survivors be buried?
A. No where, they are the survivors!
Q. Why did the girl bring a ruler to bed with her?
A. She wanted to see how long she slept.
Q. Why was the woman so happy she finished the jigsaw puzzle in six months?
A. The box said 2-4 years!
Q. What has two back bones and 1000 ribs?
A. A railroad.
Q. Why can you never trust spiders?
A. Because they post stuff on the web.
Q. What do you call a snail on a ship?
A. A snailor.
Q. Why did the policeman stay in bed?
A. Because he was an undercover cop.
Q. What word, if spelled right is wrong and spelled wrong is right?
Q. What happened to the bed bugs who fell in love?
A. They got married in the spring.
Q. Why did the silly electrician jump over the clock?
A. So he could get some overtime!
Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A. Because 7 8 9!
Q. What did the banana say to the judge?
A. "I'm sure to win this case on a-peel!"
Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.
Q. Where do you get draggin' milk?
A. From a cow with short legs.
Q. What do you get when you cross a parrot and a caterpillar?
A. A walkie talkie.
Q. Where do you weigh whales?
A. At the whale-weigh station.
Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.
Q. Why did the young cat get arrested ?
A. For his litter!
Q. A rabbit hops by IHOP. He looks at the sign. What does he say?
A. "Big deal, so do I."
Q. What has holes and can still hold water?
A. A sponge!
Q. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A. A pouch potato.
Q. What's invisible and smells like carrots?
A. Bunny toots!
Q. Which building has the most stories?
Q. If a rooster laid a white egg and a brown egg, what kind of chicks would hatch?
A. None. Roosters don't lay eggs.
Q. Why did the newspaper blush?
A. Because he saw the comic strip.
Q. Why did the man go off the cliff with his truck?
A. He wanted to test his air brakes.
Q. What's an insect's favorite sport?
Q. What did the tie say to the hat?
A. "You go on a head and I'll hang around here."
Q. What do you get when you cross a monkey and a pansy?
A. A chimpansy.
Q. Where do pencils come from?
Q. What do you get when you put a radio in a fridge?
A. Cool music!
Q. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and put the elephant in and then close the door.
Q. What's black and white and can climb trees?
A. A panda.
Q. Why did Batman cross his legs?
A. He had to go to the BATroom!
Q. What kind of shoes does a spy wear?
Q. Why did the whale laugh?
A. Because he saw the sea's bottom.
Q. What happens if Peter Pan punches you?
A. You Neverland!
Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. The butcher was on the other side.
Q. What is brown and sticky?
A. A stick.
Q. What do you call a person who operates an armored car?
A. A safe driver.
Q. Why did the orange get stuck up the on the mountain?
A. Because he ran out of juice.
Q. What sort of animal is a slug?
A. A snail with housing problems!
Q. Where can you find a 3 foot ruler?
A. At a yard sale.
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