Read our huge collection of funny riddles for kids! All our riddles include answers and have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Laugh out loud at these clever and silly riddles sent in by kids visiting our playhouse. Share them with your kids, students and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. We know these riddles will make you laugh out loud! :D
Riddles continue below video…
Q. What did the happy slice of cheese say to the sad slice of cheese?
A. "Aw, it will be okay! Everything is GOUDA!"
Q. Where do you send a soldier with a toothache?
A. To the drill sergeant!
Q. What time is it when a clock strikes thirteen?
A. Time to buy a new clock.
Q. What is the smartest city in America?
A. Alabama because it has four A's and one B!
Q. Why would it be silly to send a letter to Washington?
A. Because he is dead.
Q. Where does a penguin go to visit his aunt?
Q. A cowboy rode into town on Friday, stayed for 3 days and left on Friday. How did he do it?
A. His horse's name was Friday.
Q. What do you get if you cross some bubble bath and a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Foams.
Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"
Q. How do you know when a dumb person has been on the computer?
A. There's white-out all over the screen.
Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!
Q. What is something you will never see again?
A. The past.
Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.
Q. What do you call a snail with no shell?
Q. There is a restaurant that is shaped like an oval. Inside there are waiters, a chef, a hostess, and a janitor. The restaurant opens and later that night the lights go off. Then when the lights turn on everyone except the staff is dead. So, the next day an investigator comes and asks people what they where doing that night. He asked the waiters what they were doing and they said, "Serving customers."
He asked the chef, and the chef said, "He was cooking."
Then he asked the janitor and he said he was sweeping in the corners.
Who killed everyone?
A. The janitor, because there are no corners in a circular restaurant!
Q. How do you start a teddy bear race?
A. Ready, teddy, go!
Q. Why did the girl jump up and down before taking her medicine?
A. Because the label said: Shake well before using!
Q. What is an army man's favorite month?
Q. What do you say to Simba when he's moving too slow?
Q. What kind of shoes do mice like?
Q. How do you get Pikachu on the bus?
A. You Pokemon!
Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!
Q. What has four eyes but can't see?
Q. What vegetables can't you take on a boat?
Q. What do you call a football team with pigs?
A. Queens Pork Rangers.
Q. What part of a fish weighs the most?
A. Its scales.
Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"
Q. How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
A. Poker Face!
Q. What do you call two bananas?
A. A pair of slippers!
Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.
Q. How does a bee get to school?
A. On a bzz!
Q. If you see more of it, you see less of everything else. What is it?
Q. How do you catch a school of fish?
A. With a bookworm.
Q. Why did the farmer let his cows eat the tall grass?
A. Because it needed to get moooed! (Mowed)
Q. What sits outside all year long and is Irish?
A. Paddy O'furniture.
Q. What did the lucky lollipop say to the unlucky lollipop?
A. "Bye-bye, sucker!"
Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.
Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!
Q. Why did the centipede go barefoot?
A. Because he couldn't afford so many shoes!
Q. What do you call a giant with carrots in his ears?
A. Anything you want, he can't hear you!
Q. What do polar bears like to snack on?
A. Eskimo thighs.
Q. What has lots of teeth but can't chew a thing?
A. A comb!
Q. What did the calendar say to the other calendar?
A. "You want to go on a date with me?"
Q. What do you get if you cross a cow with a smurf?
A. Blue cheese!
Q. Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired?
A. Because he couldn't keep his calves together!
Q. Why did the nose feel sad?
A. Because he always got picked on!
Q. What time does a duck wake up?
A. At the QUACK of dawn.
Q. If a rooster laid a white egg and a brown egg, what kind of chicks would hatch?
A. None. Roosters don't lay eggs.
Q. Which letter comes once in a minute, twice in a millennium but never in thousand years?
A. The letter M.
Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!
Q. What is the easiest way to be on TV?
A. Sit on it!
Q. Why did the man stick his car in the stove?
A. He wanted a hot rod!
Q. What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
A. "I lava you!"
Q. The person who makes it sells it, the person who buys it never uses it, the person who is in it doesn't know it, what is it?
A. A coffin.
Q. Do sharks like to act in movies?
A. Only if they get the big, juicy parts.
Q. What do you call two spiders who just got married?
Q. What do you get when you cross a parrot and a caterpillar?
A. A walkie talkie.
Q. Why do you never ask a dinosaur to read you a story?
A. Because their tales are so long.
Q. What letter of the alphabet is an insect?
Q. Why didn't the moon finish his meal?
A. It was full.
Q. What do you do when you see a spaceman?
A. Park in it!
Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No idea. (No eye deer)
Q. What country has the most church bells?
Q. Why did the skeleton go to the store?
A. To get some spare ribs.
Q. What is black and white and read all over?
A. A newspaper.
Q. How do eggs get to the shop?
A. In a CARton!
Q. Why did the picture go to jail?
A. He got framed.
Q. What game do tornados play?
Q. What does a frog eat with his hamburger?
A. French Flies!
Q. What happens if you call 611 for the police?
A. The police car comes to you upside down!
Q. Why did the young cat get arrested ?
A. For his litter!
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Q. What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
Q. What did the bread say to the man?
A. Nothing, bread can't talk.
Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.
Q. What does a wolf say on Halloween?
A. "Happy HOWLoween!"
Q. What do you call a bear with no ears?
Q. Paul is six feet tall. He is an assistant in a butcher shop. He wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
Q. What do you call a train full of toffee?
A. A chew-chew train!
Q. What did the volcanoes name their daughter?
Q. What did the baker give his wife for their anniversary?
Q. What do you call a shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?
Q. How do you make a goldfish age?
A. Take away the g in goldfish.
Q. What colour is a burp?
Q. What's yesterday's tomorrow?
Q. If a man was born in Spain, raised in Russia, grew old in Greece and died in America, what is he?
Q. You are trapped in a room and there are 3 doors. Each door has something behind it. The first door has two hungry lions that have not eaten in four years. The second door has electric lasers all across the room. The third has three ninjas ready to attack. Which door would you pick to go through?
A. The first because the lions would be dead if they have not eaten for 4 years!
Q. What letter is a part of the head?
Q. What do you get when you put jeans in the microwave?
A. Four hotpockets.
Q. Why did the bee get married?
A. Because she found her honey.
Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.
Q. Why did the cow do jumping jacks?
A. Because he wanted a milkshake!
Q. What kind of murderer has fibre?
A. A cereal killer.
Q. Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A. Because the teacher told him to take a seat.
Q. How much is the moon worth?
A. One dollar, because it has four quarters.
Q. Why did the turtle cross the street?
A. To get to the Shell station.
Q. What type of house weighs the least?
A. A lighthouse.
Q. What did the elephant say to her son when he was naughty?
A. "Tusk tusk!"
Q. What does a cow grow on its face?
A. A MOOstache.
Q. What does an injured lemon need?
A. Lemon Aid!
Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.
Q. What has to be broken before you can use it?
A. An egg.
Q. What do you get when you cross a magician with a camera?
A. Hocus Focus!
Q. What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards?
A. "Dill me in!"
Q. The more you take of these, the more you leave behind. What are they?
Q. What has a face and two hands but no arms or legs?
A. A clock.
Q. What is green, small and round and goes up and down?
A. A pea in a lift.
Q. How do you make a sausage roll?
A. Push it down the hill!
Q. Which one is faster, hot or cold?
A. Hot. You can catch cold!
Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"
Q. Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
A. If he flew over a bay he'd be called a bagel!
Q. What place has the most cows?
A. Moo York. (New York)
Q. What runs but has no legs?
A. A nose!
Q. Where does a 600 pound gorilla sit?
A. Anywhere he wants!
Q. Why did the fish tell excuses?
A. To get off the hook!
Q. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?
A. A buccaneer (A buck an ear)
Q. What letter is looking for causes?
Q. What kind of motorcycle does a pig drive?
A. A hog!
Q. Which animal is the oldest in the world?
A. The zebra because it's still black and white.
Q. What begins and ends with e but only has one letter?
A. An envelope.
Q. Why are rivers so rich?
A. Because they have 2 banks.
Q. What sort of appliance does a monkey use?
A. A gorilla. (A griller)
Q. When is the best time to buy budgies?
A. When they're going cheap.
Q. What can you put in a barrel that makes it lighter?
Q. What is the biggest word in the world?
A. Smiles. There is a mile in between each S.
Q. What do you call a dark colored horse that really scares you?
A. A nightMARE!
Q. What's the best thing about elevator jokes?
A. They work on so many levels.
Q. What disappears when you stand up?
A. Your lap!
Q. Where do fish keep their money?
A. In the riverbank.
Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. An injured penguin.
Q. What did the cat need when it was having trouble seeing?
A. A PURRscription!
Q. Why should you never shower with a pokemon?
A. Because they Pikachu (peek at you).
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Q. What is in and out, big and small, short and tall, up and down, and all around?
A. Life and time.
Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.
Q. What is the laziest mountain in the world?
A. Mount Ever-rest!
Q. What's a monkey's favorite snack?
A. Chocolate chimp cookies.
Q. Why did the strawberry cross the road?
A. Because his mom was in a jam!
Q. What do you call a chicken crossing the road?
A. Poultry in motion.
Q. Why was 10 afraid of 9?
A. Because 9 8 7!
Q. What kind of bagel can fly?
A. A plain bagel.
Q. What do you get if you cross poison ivy with a
four leaf clover?
A. A rash of good luck!
Q. Why did Peter Pan always fly and never stop?
A. Because he could never never land.
Q. What is a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A. A stick!
Q. What is a bird's favorite treat?
Q. What does the baby popcorn call his dad?
Q. Where do oak trees come from?
Q. What does the sun skate on?
Q. Why did the telephone go to the jewelry store?
A. He wanted a new ring.
Q. What do clothes and airplanes have in common?
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