Read our huge collection of funny riddles for kids! All our riddles include answers and have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Laugh out loud at these clever and silly riddles sent in by kids visiting our playhouse. Share them with your kids, students and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. We know these riddles will make you laugh out loud! :D
Riddles continue below video…
Q. What did the fish say to the chip?
A. "We were made for each other."
Q. How do you make a goldfish age?
A. Take away the g in goldfish.
Q. Why don't skeletons fight?
A. Because they don't have the guts!
Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.
Q. Where do pencils come from?
Q. What do you get if you cross poison ivy with a
four leaf clover?
A. A rash of good luck!
Q. Why did the grandma sit in the rocking chair with her roller blades on?
A. Because she wanted to rock and roll.
Q. Why did the rooster cross the road?
A. Because he wasn't a chicken.
Q. Why did the cat sit on the computer?
A. To keep an eye on the mouse.
Q. What fish can help you build a house?
A. A hammerhead shark.
Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!
Q. Where do you weigh whales?
A. At the whale-weigh station.
Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Q. What has lots of teeth but can't chew a thing?
A. A comb!
Q. What has to be broken before you can use it?
A. An egg.
Q. Why is it against the law for a man living in Victoria to be buried in New South Wales?
A. Because he's still alive!
Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.
Q. What does a tree drink?
A. Root beer!
Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.
Q. What smells like red paint but is blue?
A. Blue paint.
Q. What kind of animals do clocks have?
Q. Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired?
A. Because he couldn't keep his calves together!
Q. Why did the Advil go to jail?
A. Because it was a pain killer.
Q. What game do tornados play?
Q. What do you call fish with no eyes?
Q. Do you want to hear a construction joke?
A. Sorry I'm still working on it!
Q. What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
A. "Me ow!"
Q. What insect is a coward?
A. A flea!
Q. What kind of bird uses ink to write?
A. A PEN-guin!
Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.
Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.
Q. In what way can the letter A help a deaf lady?
A. It can make her hear.
Q. How do you spell mousetrap with ONLY three letters?
Q. What do you get if you cross a porcupine and a giraffe?
A. A seven metre long toothbrush!
Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!
Q. What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?
A. The Milky Baa-r kid.
Q. Why do gorillas have broad fingers?
A. Because they have large nostrils.
Q. A women shot her husband, put him under water for 5 minutes, and then hung him. Later, they went out to dinner. How did he survive, and then go out to dinner?
A. She was a photographer!
Q. What language does a billboard speak?
A. Sign language.
Q. What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
A. "You look flushed."
Q. What bird is always sad?
A. A blue-bird.
Q. How do you attach a duck to the wall?
A. With Duck tape!
Q. Why did the cow go to Hollywood?
A. She wanted to be a movie star.
Q. Why did the starfish breakup with the lobster?
A. Because he was SHELLfish.
Q. What did Cinderella say to the photographer?
A. "Someday my prints will come!"
Q. Why is England the wettest country?
A. Because the queen has reigned there for years!
Q. What sort of animal is a slug?
A. A snail with housing problems!
Q. Why did the bank robber take a bath?
A. So he could make a clean getaway.
Q. How do you get Pikachu on the bus?
A. You Pokemon!
Q. What is the best way to catch a squirrel?
A. Act like a nut.
Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.
Q. Why did the boy scream when he opened the fridge?
A. Because he saw the salad dressing.
Q. Why didn't Noah do much fishing on the ark?
A. He only had two worms!
Q. Why did the horse cross the road?
A. To get to the other NEIGH-bourhood.
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Q. What do you call a shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?
Q. What did one NASCAR driver say to the other?
A. "Do you want to crash at my place tonight?"
Q. Why didn't Batman and Robin go fishing?
A. Because Robin ate all the the worms.
Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.
Q. What two candies are the smartest?
A. Smarties and Nerds.
Q. Why is Cinderella a bad football player?
A. Because she has a pumpkin as a coach!
Q. You have a candle, a stove, and a fireplace and a match. Which one would you light first?
A. The match!
Q. What can you catch but never throw?
A. A cold.
Q. What did the 0 say to the 8?
A. "Nice belt."
Q. Why did the nose cross the street?
A. He was getting picked on!
Q. Why couldn't they play cards on the ark?
A. Because Noah sat on the deck!
Q. What does a surprised iceberg say?
A. "Goodness Glacius!"
Q. Why did Mickey Mouse go to space?
A. To find Pluto.
Q. What do you call a woodpecker with no beak?
A. A head banger.
Q. What did the happy slice of cheese say to the sad slice of cheese?
A. "Aw, it will be okay! Everything is GOUDA!"
Q. There's this guy and he's jogging. Well, he turns left, jogs some, turns left, jogs some, and turns left again. When he gets home there are 2 masked men waiting. Who are the masked men?
A. The Umpire and the Back Catcher!
Q. Why did the baseball player get arrested?
A. Because he was caught stealing second base!
Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"
Q. How do you know when a dumb person has been on the computer?
A. There's white-out all over the screen.
Q. Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to see his flat mate!
Q. What do you call a door that is cute?
Q. What does a toad say when it sees something great?
A. "TOADaly Awesome!"
Q. What do you get when you cross a star and a gun?
A. A shooting star!
Q. Imagine you are in a boat. You were being circled by sharks. One shark is about to bite you. What should you do?
A. Stop imagining!
Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!
Q. It is greater than God and more evil than devil. The poor have it. The rich need it and if you eat it you'll die. What is it?
Q. What devours everything and everything devours it?
Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.
Q. A duck, a cat and a cow went out to dinner, who had to pay?
A. The duck. He was the only one with a bill.
Q. What is the fastest country in the world?
Q. Why did the oak tree have to eat his ice cream in a dish?
A. The pine tree wouldn't give him a cone!
Q. What do you call a fly with no wings?
A. A walk.
Q. Why did the cow pack his bags?
A. Because he was MOOving!
Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.
Q. What do you call a jacket that is on fire?
A. A blazer!
Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.
Q. Think of the person who lives in disguise, who deals in secrets and tells nothing but lies.
Next tell me what's always last to mend the middle of middle and end of the end.
And finally give me the sound often heard during the search for a hard to find word.
Now string them all together and answer me this:
What creature would you be unwilling to kiss?
A. A spider.
Q. A tomato, a cabbage and a hose were in a race. The tomato was red and the cabbage was a vegetable. Who won?
A. The hose was running, the cabbage was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
Q. If a rooster laid a white egg and a brown egg, what kind of chicks would hatch?
A. None. Roosters don't lay eggs.
Q. What is a parrot's favorite food on the 4th of July?
A. Fire crackers!
Q. What's it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A. A meltdown!
Q. Where can you always find happiness?
A. In a dictionary!
Q. Why did the rancher name his ranch "Peanut Butter"?
A. It was a great spread.
Q. What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards?
A. "Dill me in!"
Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
Q. Why did the newspaper blush?
A. Because he saw the comic strip.
Q. What part of a fish weighs the most?
A. Its scales.
Q. What did one burp say to the next?
A. Let's be stinkers and sneak out the back!
Q. Why is getting up in the morning like a pig's tail?
A. It's twirly. (Too early)
Q. Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
A. Because their feet stink.
Q. What is the British Secret Service's best yellow-haired spy?
A. James Blonde!
Q. Why was the ant confused?
A. Because all of his uncles were ants!
Q. What did the broken clock say?
A. "Will someone give me hand?"
Q. Why couldn't the bike stand up on it's own?
A. Because it was two-tired!
Q. Why was the computer late to work?
A. He had a hard-drive.
Q. Why didn't the lobster share his plankton with his dad?
A. Because he was a little shellfish!
Q. What's black when you get it, red when you use it and white when you're finished?
Q. What is as light as a feather but not even the strongest man in the world can hold it for more than a few minutes?
Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!
Q. There is a black house, grey house, red house, yellow house, green house and brown house. What colour house does President Obama live in?
A. The White House!
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
Q. What is served on a table with gatherings of two or four, and is white and round?
A. A ping pong ball.
Q. What is red when you go and green when you stop?
A. A watermelon.
Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!
Q. What way do the cows like to go?
A. The milky way!
Q. What type of queue do dolls like best?
A. A BBQ.
Q. There are two dads and two sons that went fishing. Everyone caught a fish, but only three fish were caught. How is this possible?
A. There was a grandfather, a dad and a son.
Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!
Q. What do miners put on their face at night?
A. Coal cream.
Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
Q. How do you start a teddy bear race?
A. Ready, teddy, go!
Q. What has a lot of keys but can't open doors?
A. A piano.
Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.
Q. How do you make varnish disappear?
A. Take away the R!
Q. Why did the frog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to show his girlfriend he had guts.
Q. What book can you look in to find words that are not true?
A. The fiction-ary!
Q. What do you get with a kangoroo and a snake?
A. A jump rope.
Q. Why is baseball the safest sport?
A. Because on the field, it has a warning track.
Q. Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?
Q. Why don't they play cards in Africa?
A. There are too many Cheetahs!
Q. Why should you never shower with a pokemon?
A. Because they Pikachu (peek at you).
Q. What stands in the middle of an ocean?
A. The letter E!
Q. An electric train is going north, which way is its smoke going?
A. Nowhere it's an electric train!
Q. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A. In case he got a hole in one!
Q. What kind of monkey can fly?
A. A hot air BABOON!
Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A. Because 7 8 9!
Q. What goes around the world but stays in one place?
A. A stamp.
Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. A zebra with the chicken pox.
Q. Which is the most dangerous city?
Q. What do you call a fairy that hasn't taken a bath?
Q. What did the sweaty octopus spend all his money on?
A. Underarm deodrant.
Q. Why couldn't the girl dial 911?
A. She couldn't find the 11.
Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!
Q. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A. An investiGATOR!
Q. What was the name of Noah's wife?
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