Read our huge collection of funny riddles for kids! All our riddles include answers and have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Laugh out loud at these clever and silly riddles sent in by kids visiting our playhouse. Share them with your kids, students and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. We know these riddles will make you laugh out loud! :D
Riddles continue below video…
Q. What time does a duck wake up?
A. At the QUACK of dawn.
Q. What do you call fish with no eyes?
Q. What kind of bird uses ink to write?
A. A PEN-guin!
Q. What is the best way to see a flying saucer?
A. Trip a waiter.
Q. Why was the girl staring at the juice box?
A. Because it said: "Concentrate."
Q. What is in and out, big and small, short and tall, up and down, and all around?
A. Life and time.
Q. What did the tree say to the light bulb?
A. "Hey! Just had a bright idea!"
Q. Why did the orange get stuck up the on the mountain?
A. Because he ran out of juice.
Q. If you say it you break it. What is it?
Q. Why didn't the squirrel cross the telephone wire?
A. Because the line was busy.
Q. What does a toad say when it sees something great?
A. "TOADaly Awesome!"
Q. What street does a vampire live on?
A. A dead end!
Q. What way are the letter A and noon alike?
A. Both of them are in the middle of the day.
Q. What kind of murderer has fibre?
A. A cereal killer.
Q. What has a ring but no finger?
A. A telephone!
Q. What place has the most cows?
A. Moo York. (New York)
Q. Why did the one handed man cross the road?
A. To get to the second hand shop!
Q. Why did the doofus climb the glass wall?
A. So he could see what was on the other side.
Q. What is the laziest mountain in the world?
A. Mount Ever-rest!
Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
A. A creamy quacker!
Q. A cowboy rode into town on Friday, stayed for 3 days and left on Friday. How did he do it?
A. His horse's name was Friday.
Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!
Q. If you have three 7 foot long ropes, how many feet do you have?
A. You have two feet!
Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.
Q. What do you get if you throw butter?
A. A butterfly!
Q. Paul is six feet tall. He is an assistant in a butcher shop. He wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
Q. I am the beginning of end and the end of time and space. I am essential to creation and I surround every place. What am I?
A. The letter E!
Q. What is an astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard?
A. The space bar!
Q. There is a one story house and everything in it is blue. The walls are blue, the ceiling is blue and the floor is blue. What color are the stairs?
A. There are no stairs in a one story house!
Q. Why did the fish have no money on him?
A. He left it all at the bank.
Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"
Q. What is brown and sticky?
A. A stick.
Q. What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left for school?
Q. Why did Patrick eat money?
A. His mum said it was his lunch money.
Q. In a green house lives a green man and in the pink house lives a pink man. Who lives in the white house?
A. The president.
Q. What can't you eat at dinner?
A. Breakfast and lunch!
Q. What call for help, when written in capital letters, is the same forwards, backwards and upside down?
Q. Why can't a car play football?
A. Because its only got one boot.
Q. What is the hardest thing to hold that even the strongest person in the world has difficulty with?
A. Your breath.
Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!
Q. Why didn't the moon finish his meal?
A. It was full.
Q. What do T-shirts love to play?
Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!
Q. How do you make a milk shake?
A. Give it a good scare!
Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!
Q. What do cows like to put on their sandwiches?
Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
Q. What bird can write?
Q. There was a little moron and a big moron sitting on the edge of a bridge. The big moron fell off but the little one didn't, how come?
A. He was a little more on!
Q. What did the cannibal say after he ate a clown?
A. "That tasted funny!"
Q. Who was the straightest man in the Bible?
A. Joseph, Pharoah made a ruler out of him.
Q. What do you get when you cross a ball and a cat?
A. A fur ball.
Q. Why didn't Noah do much fishing on the ark?
A. He only had two worms!
Q. Why did the turkey cross the road?
A. Because it was the chicken's day off!
Q. Ike went through the town casuing havoc and he was on the news and in the newspaper. What is Ike?
A. A hurricane!
Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.
Q. Which letter of the alphabet keeps us waiting?
A. Q. (queue)
Q. How do you keep someone in suspense?
A. I'll tell you tomorrow.
Q. What does Dracula say when he doesn't have good news?
A. "I have BAT news, everyone!"
Q. What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards?
A. "Dill me in!"
Q. What do you call a train full of toffee?
A. A chew-chew train!
Q. What is a cow's favorite ice cream?
Q. Rail road tracks, look out for cars! How do you spell that without any Rs?
Q. What pet does everybody have?
A. A carPET!
Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!
Q. Hit me hard and I will crack but you'll never stop me from staring back. What am I?
A. A mirror!
Q. What comes down but never goes up?
Q. What do you call a fly with no wings?
A. A walk.
Q. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A. Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!
Q. You take away whole and some still remains. What is it?
Q. Why did the surfer wear a baseball mitt?
A. He wanted to catch a wave.
Q. What starts with T, ends with T, and is filled with T?
A. A teapot!
Q. How did the man build up his flea collar business?
A. He started from scratch.
Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!
Q. What kind of bats swing upside down?
Q. Why was the clock in the cafeteria always slow?
A. Because every lunch it went back four seconds!
Q. Where do pencils come from?
Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.
Q. Where does the rifle go?
A. To the Rifle Tower!
Q. What do you get when you cross a monkey and a pansy?
A. A chimpansy.
Q. What letter is a European bird?
Q. What do you call a shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?
Q. What do cheerleaders drink?
A. Root beer.
Q. Why are Teddy Bears never hungry?
A. Because they are always stuffed.
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because she was getting tired of just standing there!
Q. Say milk five times really fast. Now, what do cows drink?
Q. What is white, black and red all over?
A. An embarrassed penguin.
Q. Why did the stupid racing driver make ten pit stops during the race?
A. He was asking for directions!
Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!
Q. There was a man who walked into a bar and asked if he could have a glass of water but the bartender pointed a gun at him and the man who asked for water said thank you and left. Why did he say thank you?
A. Because the man had the hiccups.
Q. What kind of bug goes Zzub Zzub?
A. A bumble bee flying backward!
Q. Why did the TV go out with the heater?
A. Because he thought she was hot!
Q. What did the frog order at the burger place?
A. French flies and a diet croak.
Q. What seven letters did the robber say when he saw nothing in the safe?
A. "O I C U R M T!"
Q. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?
A. A buccaneer (A buck an ear)
Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.
Q. What do you use to fix a torn daisy?
A. A flower patch.
Q. Have you heard the joke about the bed?
A. It hasn't been made yet!
Q. What does an orange do when it takes a test?
A. It concentrates!
Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.
Q. Why did the camper bring a baseball player to camp?
A. To pitch the tent.
Q. What did one wall say to the other wall?
A. "I'll meet you at the corner."
Q. What is the world's largest beverage?
A. MinneSODA. (Minnesota)
Q. Why did the cow want some cheese?
A. Because it's MOOlicious!
Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."
Q. What did one NASCAR driver say to the other?
A. "Do you want to crash at my place tonight?"
Q. What's a cat's favourite magazine?
A. A CAT-alogue.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
Q. What would we do if we found bad plants spoiling our lawn?
A. We'd weed.
Q. Why do people like vampires so much?
A. Because they are FANGtastic!
Q. What did Shakespeare say to the pencil?
A. "Write on!"
Q. Which one is faster, hot or cold?
A. Hot. You can catch cold!
Q. What kind of music do stars listen to?
A. The starry blues.
Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.
Q. What does a surprised iceberg say?
A. "Goodness Glacius!"
Q. How do you get 6 donkeys into a fire engine?
A. Two in the front, two in the back and two on the top going, "He-haw, he-haw!"
Q. What tree do fingers grow off of?
A. A palm tree!
Q. If a red house is made out of red brick, and a blue house is made of blue bricks what is a green house made of?
Q. Mary and John were sitting in the family room one night. John was watching TV and Mary was reading a book. All of a sudden the power went out, so John decided to go to bed, but Mary kept on reading without any artificial light. How is this possible?
A. Mary was blind and was reading braile!
Q. If there was a spelling test, which animal would win?
A. The bee!
Q. What is yours but your friends use more than you?
A. Your name!
Q. Why did the newspaper blush?
A. Because he saw the comic strip.
Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"
Q. How do you stop a mouse from squealing?
A. Oil it.
Q. Which animal is the oldest in the world?
A. The zebra because it's still black and white.
Q. What do you call a rabbit with the sniffles?
A. A runny bunny.
Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.
Q. What did the tie say to the hat?
A. "You go on a head and I'll hang around here."
Q. What is a volcano?
A. A mountain with hiccups!
Q. Why would it be silly to send a letter to Washington?
A. Because he is dead.
Q. What was Mr. Cow and Mrs. Cow's favorite time together?
A. When they went on their honeyMOOn.
Q. What does a hamburger name his daughter?
Q. How do eggs get to the shop?
A. In a CARton!
Q. How do you catch a rabbit?
A. Make a noise like a carrot.
Q. What do dogs and trees have in common?
Q. What is smaller then a talking cat?
A. A spelling bee.
Q. What do you call a cat that eats lemons?
A. A sourpuss.
Q. What is Santa's favorite snack?
A. Ho, hos!
Q. Which is the best month for a parade?
Q. What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
A. Jurassic Pork.
Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!
Q. What type of house weighs the least?
A. A lighthouse.
Q. What animal is NOT allowed to play in games or contests?
A. Cheetahs (cheaters)
Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.
Q. What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Q. Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?
A. Because he had a big bill.
Q. What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A. "I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand."
Q. What did the judge say when the skunk got off the stage?
A. "You stink!"
Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!
Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!
Riddles | Knock-Knock
Jokes | Jokes
Animal Jokes | Banana Jokes | Cat Jokes | Chicken Jokes | Computer Jokes | Dinosaur Jokes
Doctor Jokes | Dog Jokes | Elephant Jokes | Food Jokes | Insect Jokes | Movie Jokes
Music Jokes | Outer Space Jokes | School Jokes | Sports Jokes
Christmas Jokes | Easter Jokes | Halloween Jokes | St. Patrick's Day Jokes | Thanksgiving Jokes | Valentine Jokes | Winter Jokes