Read our huge collection of funny riddles for kids! All our riddles include answers and have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Laugh out loud at these clever and silly riddles sent in by kids visiting our playhouse. Share them with your kids, students and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. We know these riddles will make you laugh out loud! :D
Riddles continue below video…
Q. What football team makes the most money?
A. The Buck-aneers.
Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!
Q. What flower gives the most kisses on Valentines Day?
Q. Imagine you are in a room with no windows or doors. How will you get out?
A. Stop imagining!
Q. What can run, play and move around yet it cannot breath?
A. A CD or DVD!
Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.
Q. What do fish take to stay alive?
A. Vitamin sea.
Q. What country has the most church bells?
Q. What is the fastest country in the world?
Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No idea. (No eye deer)
Q. What does a triceratops sit on?
A. It's tricera-bottom!
Q. There are 2 cats, one is French and the other English. The French cat's name was Un Deux Trois and the English cat's name was One Two Three. Both cats think they're better than the other. To determine this they have a swimming contest. Which cat wins and why?
A. The English cat, because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq! (Un Deux Trois cat sank)
Q. What do you call a grandfather clock?
A. An old timer!
Q. What kind of mail does a superstar vampire get?
A. Fang mail.
Q. What kind of bagel can fly?
A. A plain bagel.
Q. Where can you always find happiness?
A. In a dictionary!
Q. Why was the calculator sad?
A. Because it had too many problems to solve!
Q. What do you call a person with a tree for a briefcase?
A. A branch manager.
Q. What letter of the alphabet is an insect?
Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?
A. CELL phones.
Q. What do mice feel like when they come out of the shower?
A. Squeaky clean!
Q. What did one leaf say to the other?
A. "See you next fall!!"
Q. What did the man say to the butcher at the deli?
A. "I never sausage a place"
Q. Why was the horse unable to get into the antelopes' music club?
A. He had no horns!
Q. What has lots of teeth but can't chew a thing?
A. A comb!
Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.
Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"
Q. What did the flower say to the bike?
Q. Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
A. Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall down!
Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.
Q. Why did the farmer let his cows eat the tall grass?
A. Because it needed to get moooed! (Mowed)
Q. What do babies and basketball players have in common?
A. They dribble.
Q. What kind of car does a cow drive?
A. A CATTLEac.
Q. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?
A. A buccaneer (A buck an ear)
Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.
Q. If chickens get up when the rooster crows, when do ducks get up?
A. At the quack of dawn!
Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!
Q. Which state has the smallest soft drinks?
Q. Why did the millionaire refuse to move to Alaska?
A. He didn't want to freeze his assets.
Q. What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
A. "Me ow!"
Q. Why did the duck cross the road?
A. Because it thought it was a chicken.
Q. What do you get when you cross a skeleton with a genie?
A. A wish bone!
Q. There are 10 cats in a boat. One cat jumped out of the boat. How many cats were left?
A. None, they were all copycats.
Q. What is in and out, big and small, short and tall, up and down, and all around?
A. Life and time.
Q. What starts with T, ends with T, and is filled with T?
A. A teapot!
Q. Why did the frog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to show his girlfriend he had guts.
Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
A. A creamy quacker!
Q. What colour is a burp?
Q. Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
A. Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.
Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.
Q. Why didn't the bunny hop?
A. No bunny knows.
Q. What happened to the shark when he ate too many keys?
A. He turned into the Lock-ness monster.
Q. What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
A. Open TOAD sandals.
Q. What did the policeman say to his belly?
A. You are under a vest!
Q. What do you get when you cross a magician with a camera?
A. Hocus Focus!
Q. What did one wall say to the other wall?
A. "I'll meet you at the corner."
Q. Why did Tigger look in the bathroom?
A. To find Pooh!
Q. What is a crate's favorite sport?
Q. What did one burp say to the next?
A. Let's be stinkers and sneak out the back!
Q. Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?
Q. What do bananas do when they get a sunburn?
A. They peel.
Q. What do clothes and airplanes have in common?
Q. Which is the loudest vowel?
A. The letter I. It is always in the midst of noise
Q. Why was the elephant afraid of the computer store?
A. Because they sold the world's best mice.
Q. What did the joey say to the turtle?
A. "I can take my home with me too."
Q. What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards?
A. "Dill me in!"
Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!
Q. How do you get 6 donkeys into a fire engine?
A. Two in the front, two in the back and two on the top going, "He-haw, he-haw!"
Q. You are dreaming. A monster comes up to you and takes you away. He puts you in an oven and turns it on. Any moment he will be eating you. What should you do?
A. Pinch yourself.
Q. What do you call a cow who learns how to belly dance?
A. A milkshake!
Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!
Q. Why did the willow weep?
A. Because it saw the water fall (waterfall).
Q. What makes seven even?
A. Taking the S away!
Q. What is green and sings?
A. Elvis Parsley.
Q. What time do you go to the dentist?
A. Tooth hurty!
Q. What does an eagle use to write with?
A. A bald point pen!
Q. Why was the Egyptian confused?
A. Because someone told him his daddy was a mummy!
Q. Why did the whale laugh?
A. Because he saw the sea's bottom.
Q. What kind of fish goes great with peanut butter?
Q. Why was the rope late for dinner?
A. It got tied up at the office.
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get to the other side.
Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.
Q. What do you call a train full of bubble gum?
A. A chew-chew train.
Q. How do eggs get to the shop?
A. In a CARton!
Q. What is a porcupine's favourite game?
Q. When is the best time to buy budgies?
A. When they're going cheap.
Q. If a rooster laid a white egg and a brown egg, what kind of chicks would hatch?
A. None. Roosters don't lay eggs.
Q. Why couldn't the eight year old get into the pirate movie?
A. Because it was rated ARRRR!
Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.
Q. How do you make a goldfish age?
A. Take away the g in goldfish.
Q. What goes around the world but stays in one place?
A. A stamp.
Q. What is black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
A. Two skunks fighting over a pickle.
Q. What runs but has no legs?
A. A nose!
Q. What did the duck say to the clerk?
A. "Put it on my bill."
Q. How do you stop a rhino from charging?
A. Take away its credit card.
Q. Have you heard the joke about the bed?
A. It hasn't been made yet!
Q. What word of only three syllables contains 26 letters?
Q. What 10 letter word starts with gas?
A. An A-U-T-O-M-O-B-I-L-E.
Q. What time is it when a clock strikes thirteen?
A. Time to buy a new clock.
Q. What do people have in common with a math book?
A. We've all got a lot of problems!
Q. What do you call a bell that can do gymnastics?
A. A flexi-bell.
Q. What do you call a flying jelly?
A. A jelly copter.
Q. What happens if Peter Pan punches you?
A. You Neverland!
Q. How do you start a teddy bear race?
A. Ready, teddy, go!
Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
Q. What do you call a snail on a ship?
A. A snailor.
Q. Did you hear about the man who plugged his electric blanket into the toaster?
A. He kept popping out of bed all night!
Q. What is a parrot's favorite food on the 4th of July?
A. Fire crackers!
Q. What happens when you throw a purple rock into a yellow stream?
A. It makes a splash.
Q. What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder?
A. He got a little behind in his work!
Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.
Q. How does Lady Gaga like her meat?
A. Raw raw raw!
Q. What did the shark say when he bumped into a whale?
A. "I didn't do it on porpoise!" (purpose)
Q. There was a man who walked into a bar and asked if he could have a glass of water but the bartender pointed a gun at him and the man who asked for water said thank you and left. Why did he say thank you?
A. Because the man had the hiccups.
Q. There is a restaurant that is shaped like an oval. Inside there are waiters, a chef, a hostess, and a janitor. The restaurant opens and later that night the lights go off. Then when the lights turn on everyone except the staff is dead. So, the next day an investigator comes and asks people what they where doing that night. He asked the waiters what they were doing and they said, "Serving customers."
He asked the chef, and the chef said, "He was cooking."
Then he asked the janitor and he said he was sweeping in the corners.
Who killed everyone?
A. The janitor, because there are no corners in a circular restaurant!
Q. What is the cat's favorite button on the remote?
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Q. What kind of musical instrument do rats play?
A. Mouse organs.
Q. Mary was shot in the head. She managed to avoid being hospitalized and she's as healthy as can be. How can this be?
A. She had a modeling audition. So, they took her head shots.
Q. Why did the cow pack his bags?
A. Because he was MOOving!
Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. Because KFC was on the other side.
Q. What did the fish say to the octopus while the octopus was eating?
A. Lend me a tentacle or 8.
Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.
Q. What did the creek say to the brook?
A. "Stop babbling!"
Q. Why did the man go off the cliff with his truck?
A. He wanted to test his air brakes.
Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!
Q. Why don't ducks tell jokes when they are flying?
A. Because they just might quack up.
Q. What jumps higher than a building?
A. Everything, buildings don't jump.
Q. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A. Because she thought it was a high school.
Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. The butcher was on the other side.
Q. What game do tornados play?
Q. Where do bees go after they are married?
A. On their HONEY-moon!
Q. What sort of appliance does a monkey use?
A. A gorilla. (A griller)
Q. What is the end of everything?
A. The letter G.
Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
Q. What makes songs but never sings?
Q. What runs around a house but never moves?
A. A fence.
Q. Why don't skeletons fight?
A. Because they don't have the guts!
Q. Which is the best month for a parade?
Q. Why couldn't the skeleton laugh?
A. Because he lost his funny bone.
Q. Why is Cinderella a bad football player?
A. Because she has a pumpkin as a coach!
Q. If the red house is in the left and the blue house is on the right, where is the white house ?
A. Washington DC.
Q. What's yesterday's tomorrow?
Q. What was the name of Noah's wife?
Q. What does the sun skate on?
Q. Why couldn't the girl finish her music homework?
A. Because she forgot her notebook!
Q. Why is England the wettest country?
A. Because the queen has reigned there for years!
Q. Where does the rifle go?
A. To the Rifle Tower!
Q. Do you know who I think is the most beautiful person in the world?
A. Look at the 5th word.
Riddles | Knock-Knock
Jokes | Jokes
Animal Jokes | Banana Jokes | Cat Jokes | Chicken Jokes | Computer Jokes | Dinosaur Jokes
Doctor Jokes | Dog Jokes | Elephant Jokes | Food Jokes | Insect Jokes | Movie Jokes
Music Jokes | Outer Space Jokes | School Jokes | Sports Jokes
Christmas Jokes | Easter Jokes | Halloween Jokes | St. Patrick's Day Jokes | Thanksgiving Jokes | Valentine Jokes | Winter Jokes