Read our huge collection of funny riddles for kids! All our riddles include answers and have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Laugh out loud at these clever and silly riddles sent in by kids visiting our playhouse. Share them with your kids, students and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. We know these riddles will make you laugh out loud! :D
Riddles continue below video…
Q. Where can you find a 3 foot ruler?
A. At a yard sale.
Q. Why did the turtle cross the street?
A. To get to the Shell station.
Q. Why isn't your nose 12 inches long?
A. Because it would be a foot.
Q. What do you call a snail with no shell?
Q. Why did the fish make such a good musician?
A. He knew his scales.
Q. Why did the bee feel cold?
A. Because it is in the middle of A and C.
Q. What did the fish say to the chip?
A. "We were made for each other."
Q. What country has the most church bells?
Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
Q. What do you call a fly with no wings?
A. A walk.
Q. I have two coins in my pocket and they equal 15 cents. One of them is not a nickel. What are the coins in my pocket?
A. A nickel and a dime, I said only one of them is not a nickel.
Q. What do you get if you throw butter?
A. A butterfly!
Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.
Q. What do eagles do when they coach a sports team?
A. They wing it.
Q. Why did the TV go out with the heater?
A. Because he thought she was hot!
Q. Did you hear about the kidnapping?
A. He finally woke up!
Q. How do you stop a rhino from charging?
A. Take away its credit card.
Q. What vegetables can't you take on a boat?
Q. Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?
Q. What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
A. Open TOAD sandals.
Q. How do you make a Kleenex dance?
A. You put a little boogie in it!
Q. Why did the baker stop making doughnuts?
A. He was annoyed with the HOLE business.
Q. What room can't ghosts go in?
A. The LIVING room!
Q. What is Barbie's favorite state?
Q. What did the hat say to the scarf?
A. "You can hang around. I'll just go on a head!"
Q. What type of soap did the composer use?
Q. What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder?
A. He got a little behind in his work!
Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.
Q. Where does a 600 pound gorilla sit?
A. Anywhere he wants!
Q. Why do cows wear bells?
A. Because their horns don't work!
Q. Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
A. Because they put on the salsa.
Q. What is the easiest way to be on TV?
A. Sit on it!
Q. How do you make a milk shake?
A. Give it a good scare!
Q. What kind of chickens lay golden eggs?
A. Golden Chicks!
Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Q. How do you make varnish disappear?
A. Take away the R!
Q. The peak on my house is going east and west and slopes North and South. A rooster is on the peak and lays an egg, which way did the egg roll?
A. Roosters don't lay eggs
Q. Why couldn't the astronaut land on the moon?
A. Because it was full.
Q. Who was the straightest man in the Bible?
A. Joseph, Pharoah made a ruler out of him.
Q. What has two heads and runs faster the longer it stands?
A. An hourglass.
Q. Why did the cookie cry?
A. Because his mother was a wafer too long!
Q. What did the firefly say to the other firefly?
A. "You glow, girl!"
Q. Why did the tightrope walker visit the bank?
A. He wanted to get his balance!
Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!
Q. Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
A. If he flew over a bay he'd be called a bagel!
Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.
Q. 30 people are in a room, no way in, no way out. Don't ask me how they got in. Someone counted and they got 34-heads. How is that possible?
A. 30 foreheads!
Q. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A. An investiGATOR!
Q. What happens when you cross the tango and a waltz?
A. A wango!
Q. How much is the moon worth?
A. One dollar, because it has four quarters.
Q. What place has the most cows?
A. Moo York. (New York)
Q. Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
A. Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall down!
Q. Did you hear the joke about the egg that rolled in front of a truck?
A. Most people find they crack up!
Q. What is a gas station's favorite type of shoes?
Q. What do you call a person with a tree for a briefcase?
A. A branch manager.
Q. What letter is an exclamation?
Q. Where do you learn to make ice cream?
A. At Sundae School!
Q. What begins and ends with e but only has one letter?
A. An envelope.
Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.
Q. How do you catch a school of fish?
A. With a bookworm.
Q. Which is the best month for a parade?
Q. Do you want to hear a construction joke?
A. Sorry I'm still working on it!
Q. Which is the most dangerous city?
Q. What grows if you feed it but dies if it drinks?
Q. Why did the bee get married?
A. Because she found her honey.
Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
A. A creamy quacker!
Q. What is the British Secret Service's best yellow-haired spy?
A. James Blonde!
Q. There is a restaurant that is shaped like an oval. Inside there are waiters, a chef, a hostess, and a janitor. The restaurant opens and later that night the lights go off. Then when the lights turn on everyone except the staff is dead. So, the next day an investigator comes and asks people what they where doing that night. He asked the waiters what they were doing and they said, "Serving customers."
He asked the chef, and the chef said, "He was cooking."
Then he asked the janitor and he said he was sweeping in the corners.
Who killed everyone?
A. The janitor, because there are no corners in a circular restaurant!
Q. What animal is NOT allowed to play in games or contests?
A. Cheetahs (cheaters)
Q. When is the best time to buy budgies?
A. When they're going cheap.
Q. Why did the boat go on a diet?
A. It wanted to be ship-shape.
Q. What did the cat need when it was having trouble seeing?
A. A PURRscription!
Q. What do you call a 100-year-old ant?
Q. What colour is a burp?
Q. Why did the surfer wear a baseball mitt?
A. He wanted to catch a wave.
Q. An electric train is going north, which way is its smoke going?
A. Nowhere it's an electric train!
Q. What happens if Peter Pan punches you?
A. You Neverland!
Q. What did the banana say to the judge?
A. "I'm sure to win this case on a-peel!"
Q. What did the cab driver wear to the ball?
A. A TAXIdo!
Q. Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window?
A. He wanted to see time fly!
Q. What did the duck put in its soup?
Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.
Q. What gets smaller as it gets higher?
A. An airplane!
Q. What do you call a football player whose helmet is too tight?
A. Call him anthing you want, he can't hear you!
Q. What kind of birds always stay together?
Q. What did the picture say to the other picture?
A. "How long have you been hanging around here?"
Q. Why couldn't they play cards on the ark?
A. Because Noah sat on the deck!
Q. What is a cow's favourite drink?
A. MOO Juice.
Q. Why is the ice rink so cold?
A. There are a lot of fans there.
Q. What kind of bus crossed the ocean?
A. Christopher ColumBUS!
Q. Have you heard the joke about the bed?
A. It hasn't been made yet!
Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.
Q. How come my uncle does not brush his hair?
A. Because he is bald.
Q. Why did the dinosaur wear a bandage?
A. Because he had a dino-SORE!
Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!
Q. How do you make a goldfish age?
A. Take away the g in goldfish.
Q. What do you call a pig dressed as Frankenstein?
Q. Who do you call when you break your toe?
A. The toe truck!
Q. What is green and white when it is up and red when it hits the ground?
A. A watermelon.
Q. Why is Cinderella a bad football player?
A. Because she has a pumpkin as a coach!
Q. What is the best way to see a flying saucer?
A. Trip a waiter.
Q. What do you call two spiders who just got married?
Q. What do you call a kangaroo that sneezes alot?
A. A kanga-choo.
Q. What do you get when you put jeans in the microwave?
A. Four hotpockets.
Q. Why did the centipede go barefoot?
A. Because he couldn't afford so many shoes!
Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because he was tired of living beside KFC!
Q. What do fish take to stay alive?
A. Vitamin sea.
Q. What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and cuts grass?
A. A lawn MEOW-er!
Q. What do you get if you cross a porcupine and a giraffe?
A. A seven metre long toothbrush!
Q. What is the cat's favorite button on the remote?
Q. What letter is a part of the head?
Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"
Q. What kind of music does a mountain like?
A. Rock music!
Q. The more you take of these, the more you leave behind. What are they?
Q. What has no lid, key, or hinge yet golden treasure is hid inside?
A. An egg!
Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Q. What is a shark's favourite food?
A. Fish and ships.
Q. What is the only question you can never answer honestly with a yes?
A. "Are you asleep?"
Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!
Q. A duck, a cat and a cow went out to dinner, who had to pay?
A. The duck. He was the only one with a bill.
Q. Mary's mum had three children. One was called April, the second was May. What was the name of the last one?
Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.
Q. What's new at the zoo?
A. A gnu!
Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!
Q. What kind of mail does a superstar vampire get?
A. Fang mail.
Q. What time do you go to the dentist?
A. Tooth hurty!
Q. Why did the bread cross the road?
A. To BUTTER the other side!
Q. What's a monkey's favorite snack?
A. Chocolate chimp cookies.
Q. Why was the crab arrested?
A. For pinching!
Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!
Q. What do you call a break up between a boy and a girl banana?
A. A banana split.
Q. Why is baseball the safest sport?
A. Because on the field, it has a warning track.
Q. Why did the orange wish he was wearing sunscreen?
A. He was starting to peel!
Q. If you have three 7 foot long ropes, how many feet do you have?
A. You have two feet!
Q. What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
A. I don't know and I don't care.
Q. What kind of fish goes great with peanut butter?
Q. What can fill up the the room but takes no space?
Q. What does a cloud wear under it's raincoat?
Q. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A. To stay in shape!
Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!
Q. How does Lady Gaga like her meat?
A. Raw raw raw!
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To show the possums how it's done.
Q. What do you need if you see a kangaroo 20 miles away?
A. I don't know, but you sure don't need glasses.
Q. What do you get when you cross a magician with a camera?
A. Hocus Focus!
Q. What goes through towns and hills but never moves?
Q. Does a match box?
A. No, but a tin can!
Q. What's the difference between winter and a hurt football player?
A. One is cold out and the other one is out cold.
Q. Ike went through the town casuing havoc and he was on the news and in the newspaper. What is Ike?
A. A hurricane!
Q. What kind of musical instrument do rats play?
A. Mouse organs.
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