Squigly  Jokes and Riddles

Knock Knocks | Jokes > Riddles

Riddles for Kids

500+ Funny Riddles with Answers for Kids

Read our huge collection of funny riddles for kids! All our riddles include answers and have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Laugh out loud at these clever and silly riddles sent in by kids visiting our playhouse. Share them with your kids, students and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. We know these riddles will make you laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Go to page: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

Q. Why couldn't the astronaut land on the moon?
A. Because it was full.

Q. What do you take before every meal?
A. A seat!

Q. What does a frog eat with his hamburger?
A. French Flies!

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A. Time to get a new fence.

Q. Imagine you are in a room with no windows or doors. How will you get out?
A. Stop imagining!

Q. What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A. A synonym roll.

Q. What did the cannibal say after he ate a clown?
A. "That tasted funny!"

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. What kind of mail does a superstar vampire get?
A. Fang mail.

Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
A. MONSTERizer!

Q. Why did the man go off the cliff with his truck?
A. He wanted to test his air brakes.

Q. In a green house lives a green man and in the pink house lives a pink man. Who lives in the white house?
A. The president.

Q. One day I was in my car and crashed into a pole. I died sadly. But when I got up to heaven I could see grandma standing with Adam and Eve. The question is how did I know it was Adam and Eve?
A. Because they had no belly-buttons!

Q. Why do sharks live in salty water?
A. Because pepper makes them sneeze.

Q. What has 6 eyes but cannot see?
A. Three blind mice.

Q. What do you call someone with 4 eyes, 3 noses, 6 arms, 4 legs and 8 ears?
A. Ugly.

Q. You are trapped in a room and there are 3 doors. Each door has something behind it. The first door has two hungry lions that have not eaten in four years. The second door has electric lasers all across the room. The third has three ninjas ready to attack. Which door would you pick to go through?
A. The first because the lions would be dead if they have not eaten for 4 years!

Q. What kind of chickens lay golden eggs?
A. Golden Chicks!

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. The butcher was on the other side.

Q. What is green and white when it is up and red when it hits the ground?
A. A watermelon.

Q. Which day is mostly avoided by fish?
A. FRYday!

Q. What do you call a 100-year-old ant?
A. ANT-ique.

Q. What is a dentist's favourite game?
A. Tooth or Dare!

Q. Which pillar is not used in a building?
A. A caterpillar.

Q. What comes twice in a week, never in a month and once in a year?
A. The letter E.

Q. What animal should you not play cards with?
A. A Cheetah!

Q. Did you hear about the man who got his left arm cut off?
A. He's all right now.

Q. What language does a billboard speak?
A. Sign language.

Q. What has no lid, key, or hinge yet golden treasure is hid inside?
A. An egg!

Q. Why don't ducks tell jokes when they are flying?
A. Because they just might quack up.

Q. Why he did the book want to work with the police?
A. Because he wanted to work under cover.

Q. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A. To stay in shape!

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. To get to the MOOvies.

Q. Why don't farmers sew?
A. Because their needle is in a haystack.

Q. Why did the coach go to the bank?
A. To get his quarterback.

Q. What do you call a woodpecker with no beak?
A. A head banger.

Q. What did the traffic light say to the car?
A. "Don't look. I'm changing!"

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. What do you get when you put jeans in the microwave?
A. Four hotpockets.

Q. Why did the girl bring a ruler to bed with her?
A. She wanted to see how long she slept.

Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. Because KFC was on the other side.

Q. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and put the elephant in and then close the door.

Q. Why was the elephant afraid of the computer store?
A. Because they sold the world's best mice.

Q. What do frogs drink?
A. Croak-a-cola.

Q. What do you get if you cross a porcupine and a giraffe?
A. A seven metre long toothbrush!

Q. Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired?
A. Because he couldn't keep his calves together!

Q. Why did the boat go on a diet?
A. It wanted to be ship-shape.

Q. What part of a fish weighs the most?
A. Its scales.

Q. What gets broken without being held?
A. A promise.

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. How do you make Lady Gaga mad?
A. Poker face!

Q. How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
A. It gave her a ring!

Q. Why couldn't the girl finish her music homework?
A. Because she forgot her notebook!

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. Why did the tomato blush?
A. Because it saw the salad dressing!

Q. What smells like red paint but is blue?
A. Blue paint.

Q. Why did the lamb go to the river?
A. To get a BAA-th!

Q. Why did the one handed man cross the road?
A. To get to the second hand shop!

Q. What happens if Peter Pan punches you?
A. You Neverland!

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. What do you call fish with no eyes?
A. Fsh.

Q. What do you call a dentist in the army?
A. A drill sergeant.

Q. If a man was born in Spain, raised in Russia, grew old in Greece and died in America, what is he?
A. Dead.

Q. What did the frog order at the burger place?
A. French flies and a diet croak.

Q. What do you call a pig dressed as Frankenstein?
A. FrankenSWINE.

Q. Why didn't Batman and Robin go fishing?
A. Because Robin ate all the the worms.

Q. A rabbit hops by IHOP. He looks at the sign. What does he say?
A. "Big deal, so do I."

Q. Why are pirates called pirates?
A. Because they AAARRR!

Q. How do you cure a headache?
A. Put your head through the window and the pane will go!

Q. What is the laziest mountain in the world?
A. Mount Ever-rest!

Q. What is a mouth that won't shut up?
A. A blabber mouth.

Q. What is an astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard?
A. The space bar!

Q. What do bananas do when they get a sunburn?
A. They peel.

Riddles continue below video…

Q. If the red house is in the left and the blue house is on the right, where is the white house ?
A. Washington DC.

Q. What did the pitcher say when eggs, bacon and pancakes were playing baseball?
A. "Butter up."

Q. Why did the Smartie go to school?
A. Because he wanted to be smarter.

Q. What goes around the world but stays in one place?
A. A stamp.

Q. What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
A. "Me ow!"

Q. What did the lucky lollipop say to the unlucky lollipop?
A. "Bye-bye, sucker!"

Q. What did the toilet say when he was playing cards?
A. "Flush!"

Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.

Q. What lies in a pram and wobbles?
A. A jelly baby!

Q. Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A. Because it's too far to walk!

Q. What did Cinderella wear to the beach?
A. Glass flippers.

Q. What do you call a snail with no shell?
A. Homeless.

Q. What's the best thing about elevator jokes?
A. They work on so many levels.

Q. What is brown, has a tail and a head, but no legs?
A. A penny!

Q. What's yesterday's tomorrow?
A. Today!

Q. Where will you find the biggest rope in the world?
A. In EuROPE!

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. What do you get when you cross a star and a gun?
A. A shooting star!

Q. What did Delaware?
A. A New Jersey!

Q. I am found on land and in the sea but I don't walk or swim. I travel by foot but I'm toeless. No matter where I go I'm never far from home. Who am I?
A. A snail.

Q. What kind of bug goes Zzub Zzub?
A. A bumble bee flying backward!

Q. Why don't they play cards in Africa?
A. There are too many Cheetahs!

Q. What is a flower between your nose and your chin?
A. Two lips. (Tulips)

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. What do you call a polar bear in the desert?
A. Lost.

Q. What kind of bats swing upside down?
A. AcroBATS!

Q. What is served on a table with gatherings of two or four, and is white and round?
A. A ping pong ball.

Q. Why did the TV go out with the heater?
A. Because he thought she was hot!

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. Why did the banana factory shut down?
A. Because they chucked out all the bent ones!

Q. What is green and hangs off trees?
A. Giraffe snot.

Q. Imagine you are in a boat. You were being circled by sharks. One shark is about to bite you. What should you do?
A. Stop imagining!

Q. What is white on the outside, green on the inside and hops?
A. A frog sandwich.

Q. Why was the coach mad?
A. Because he wanted his quarterback.

Q. Why couldn't the eight year old get into the pirate movie?
A. Because it was rated ARRRR!

Q. There was a man who walked into a bar and asked if he could have a glass of water but the bartender pointed a gun at him and the man who asked for water said thank you and left. Why did he say thank you?
A. Because the man had the hiccups.

Q. What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards?
A. "Dill me in!"

Q. What is the best way to catch a squirrel?
A. Act like a nut.

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. Why did the son put his father on top of the freezer?
A. He wanted an ice pop!

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. Why did Patrick eat money?
A. His mum said it was his lunch money.

Q. What did the bee say when he returned to the hive?
A. "Honey, I'm home!"

Q. What time do you go to the dentist?
A. Tooth hurty!

Q. Why can't a leopard hide?
A. Because he's always spotted!

Q. I have four wings but I never fly, I never laugh and never cry. On the same spot I'm always found, toiling away with a squeaking sound. I turn but my body doesn't move. What am I?
A. A windmill that needs oiling.

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. Why is baseball the safest sport?
A. Because on the field, it has a warning track.

Q. What do you call an ant who studies accounts?
A. An accountANT.

Q. Mary was shot in the head. She managed to avoid being hospitalized and she's as healthy as can be. How can this be?
A. She had a modeling audition. So, they took her head shots.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. Why do you never ask a dinosaur to read you a story?
A. Because their tales are so long.

Q. Rail road tracks, look out for cars! How do you spell that without any Rs?
A. T-H-A-T!

Q. What did the joey say to the turtle?
A. "I can take my home with me too."

Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.

Q. Why did the man stick his car in the stove?
A. He wanted a hot rod!

Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?
A. Art.

Q. Why did the Advil go to jail?
A. Because it was a pain killer.

Q. Why did the dinosaur bring string to the baseball game?
A. He wanted to tie up the score!

Q. How do you know when an Irish person is happy?
A. When they are Dublin over with laughter!

Q. If there was a spelling test, which animal would win?
A. The bee!

Q. Why was the cumputer cold at night?
A. It forgot to close its windows.

Q. Why did the bird go to the restaurant?
A. Because he wanted a tweet!

Q. What do miners put on their face at night?
A. Coal cream.

Q. How do you wrap a cloud?
A. With a rainbow.

Q. What did one cliff say to the other cliff?
A. "Don't try to bluff me."

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. What is the world's largest beverage?
A. MinneSODA. (Minnesota)

Q. You take away whole and some still remains. What is it?
A. Wholesome.

Q. What do you call a cow who learns how to belly dance?
A. A milkshake!

Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A. Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?!

Q. What sits outside all year long and is Irish?
A. Paddy O'furniture.

Q. What is the hardest thing to hold that even the strongest person in the world has difficulty with?
A. Your breath.

Q. There is a one story house and everything in it is blue. The walls are blue, the ceiling is blue and the floor is blue. What color are the stairs?
A. There are no stairs in a one story house!

Q. Why did the baker stop making doughnuts?
A. He was annoyed with the HOLE business.

Go to page: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

Riddles | Knock-Knock Jokes | Jokes
Animal Jokes | Banana Jokes | Cat Jokes | Chicken Jokes | Computer Jokes | Dinosaur Jokes
Doctor Jokes | Dog Jokes | Elephant Jokes | Food Jokes | Insect Jokes | Movie Jokes
Music Jokes | Outer Space Jokes | School Jokes | Sports Jokes
Christmas Jokes | Easter Jokes | Halloween Jokes | St. Patrick's Day Jokes | Thanksgiving Jokes | Valentine Jokes | Winter Jokes