Read our huge collection of funny riddles for kids! All our riddles include answers and have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Laugh out loud at these clever and silly riddles sent in by kids visiting our playhouse. Share them with your kids, students and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. We know these riddles will make you laugh out loud! :D
Riddles continue below video…
Q. How much is the moon worth?
A. One dollar, because it has four quarters.
Q. Why did the one handed man cross the road?
A. To get to the second hand shop!
Q. What does a polar bear use to keep his head warm?
A. A polar ice cap.
Q. Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window?
A. He wanted to see time fly!
Q. What comes twice in a week, never in a month and once in a year?
A. The letter E.
Q. Which pillar is not used in a building?
A. A caterpillar.
Q. What do ghosts wear on their feet?
Q. What do you call a man in a bush?
Q. Where does a 600 pound gorilla sit?
A. Anywhere he wants!
Q. What kind of running means walking
A. Running out of gas.
Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!
Q. What sits outside all year long and is Irish?
A. Paddy O'furniture.
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Q. What language does a billboard speak?
A. Sign language.
Q. Where do you send a soldier with a toothache?
A. To the drill sergeant!
Q. What did the tornado ask the car?
A. "Wanna go for a spin?"
Q. How do you keep someone in suspense?
A. I'll tell you tomorrow.
Q. What do polar bears like to snack on?
A. Eskimo thighs.
Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!
Q. What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
A. "You're way too young to smoke."
Q. What did the 0 say to the 8?
A. "Nice belt."
Q. Why did the rancher name his ranch "Peanut Butter"?
A. It was a great spread.
Q. What kind of murderer has fibre?
A. A cereal killer.
Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.
Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!
Q. Why did the nose feel sad?
A. Because he always got picked on!
Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!
Q. Why did the nose cross the street?
A. He was getting picked on!
Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.
Q. What do you get if you cross a cow with a smurf?
A. Blue cheese!
Q. A duck, a cat and a cow went out to dinner, who had to pay?
A. The duck. He was the only one with a bill.
Q. Why are cooks cruel?
A. Because they whip cream and beat eggs!!
Q. There are 2 cats, one is French and the other English. The French cat's name was Un Deux Trois and the English cat's name was One Two Three. Both cats think they're better than the other. To determine this they have a swimming contest. Which cat wins and why?
A. The English cat, because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq! (Un Deux Trois cat sank)
Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.
Q. What goes up when the rain comes down?
A. An umbrella!
Q. What do you call a polar bear in the desert?
Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.
Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!
Q. There's this guy and he's jogging. Well, he turns left, jogs some, turns left, jogs some, and turns left again. When he gets home there are 2 masked men waiting. Who are the masked men?
A. The Umpire and the Back Catcher!
Q. What fish can help you build a house?
A. A hammerhead shark.
Q. Have you heard the joke about the bed?
A. It hasn't been made yet!
Q. What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A. A cloud!
Q. What did one cliff say to the other cliff?
A. "Don't try to bluff me."
Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.
Q. What goes up but does not go down?
A. Your age!
Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!
Q. What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A. A milkshake!
Q. How do you make a sausage roll?
A. Push it down the hill!
Q. What is brown, has a tail and a head, but no legs?
A. A penny!
Q. Who was the straightest man in the Bible?
A. Joseph, Pharoah made a ruler out of him.
Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.
Q. What do you call a deer that makes money?
A. A buck!
Q. What did the judge say when the skunk entered the court?
A. "Odor in the court!"
Q. Why did the orange wish he was wearing sunscreen?
A. He was starting to peel!
Q. Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?
Q. What do you call a rabbit with the sniffles?
A. A runny bunny.
Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!
Q. Why don't penguins live in Britain?
A. Because they're scared of Wales!
Q. Why are fish smart?
A. Because they travel in schools.
Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.
Q. What room can't ghosts go in?
A. The LIVING room!
Q. Why did the willow weep?
A. Because it saw the water fall (waterfall).
Q. What letter of the alphabet has the most water?
A. The letter C!
Q. What did the tree say to the light bulb?
A. "Hey! Just had a bright idea!"
Q. What happened to the bed bugs who fell in love?
A. They got married in the spring.
Q. Which bet can't be won?
Q. What do you do if something charges at you?
A. You take away its credit card!
Q. What kind of fish goes great with peanut butter?
Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!
Q. What can you put in a freezer that's hot and will always come out hot?
A. Hot sauce.
Q. I have four wings but I never fly, I never laugh and never cry. On the same spot I'm always found, toiling away with a squeaking sound. I turn but my body doesn't move. What am I?
A. A windmill that needs oiling.
Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.
Q. Why couldn't the bike stand up on it's own?
A. Because it was two-tired!
Q. How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
A. It gave her a ring!
Q. What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
A. One is really heavy. The other is a little lighter.
Q. What did the joey say to the turtle?
A. "I can take my home with me too."
Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"
Q. What do you call a pig dressed as Frankenstein?
Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.
Q. What does not ask questions but must be answered?
A. A doorbell.
Q. Why did the cow do jumping jacks?
A. Because he wanted a milkshake!
Q. There are 5 fish and 2 drown. How many are left?
A. Fish don't drown.
Q. Why did Batman cross his legs?
A. He had to go to the BATroom!
Q. Why did the girl bring a ruler to bed with her?
A. She wanted to see how long she slept.
Q. What did the pig put on his rash?
Q. Why do mushrooms like to tell jokes?
A. Because they're a fungi!
Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.
Q. What do you call a super hero who has lost his powers?
A. A super-zero.
Q. Why did the toilet paper want to roll down the hill?
A. To get to the bottom.
Q. Why didn't the lobster share his plankton with his dad?
A. Because he was a little shellfish!
Q. What do you call a grandfather clock?
A. An old timer!
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.
Q. Why did Mickey Mouse go to space?
A. To find Pluto.
Q. Why did the horse cross the road?
A. To get to the other NEIGH-bourhood.
Q. What makes seven even?
A. Taking the S away!
Q. What does the pink panther do with his camera?
A. He takes PINKtures!
Q. What goes around the world but stays in one place?
A. A stamp.
Q. What has two heads and runs faster the longer it stands?
A. An hourglass.
Q. What bird can write?
Q. Do you know who I think is the most beautiful person in the world?
A. Look at the 5th word.
Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.
Q. Hit me hard and I will crack but you'll never stop me from staring back. What am I?
A. A mirror!
Q. How do you catch a school of fish?
A. With a bookworm.
Q. What did the sick freight elevator say?
A. "I think I'm coming down with something."
Q. What do people have in common with a math book?
A. We've all got a lot of problems!
Q. What did the fish say to the other fish?
A. "(O)(o)(O)(o)(O)" (Hello)
Q. Why couldn't the shipmates play cards?
A. The captain was sitting on the deck!
Q. What did the bee say when he returned to the hive?
A. "Honey, I'm home!"
Q. Why did the young cat get arrested ?
A. For his litter!
Q. What did the picture say to the other picture?
A. "How long have you been hanging around here?"
Q. What lies in a pram and wobbles?
A. A jelly baby!
Q. Why didn't the moon finish his meal?
A. It was full.
Q. What is in and out, big and small, short and tall, up and down, and all around?
A. Life and time.
Q. What is cute and cuddly and lives in your toilet?
A. Winnie the Pooh!
Q. Where do sheep get their hair cut?
A. At the bah bah shop.
Q. What garden has the most vegetables?
A. Flash garden!
Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!
Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!
Q. Why don't football players get hot?
A. Because of all their fans!
Q. What is an astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard?
A. The space bar!
Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. Pork Chop!
Q. What did the bee say to the naughty bee?
A. "Bee-hive yourself!"
Q. Why did the turtle cross the street?
A. To get to the Shell station.
Q. What is the most musical part of your body?
A. Your nose, you can blow it and pick it.
Q. If you are running in a race and you just passed the guy in second place what place are you in?
A. You are in second place!
Q. What did the cow say to the other cow?
A. "MOOve over!"
Q. What did one NASCAR driver say to the other?
A. "Do you want to crash at my place tonight?"
Q. Why did the boat go on a diet?
A. It wanted to be ship-shape.
Q. How do you throw a tent?
A. You pitch it!
Q. What do you need if you see a kangaroo 20 miles away?
A. I don't know, but you sure don't need glasses.
Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he had no guts.
Q. What has 6 legs, 4 eyes, 4 ears, 2 noses, 2 mouths and 2 heads?
A. A man sitting on a horse.
Q. Why did the baseball player get arrested?
A. Because he was caught stealing second base!
Q. What starts with a P and ends with an E and has thousands of letters?
A. The Post Office!
Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"
Q. Why did the cow pack his bags?
A. Because he was MOOving!
Q. What did the little light bulb say to its mum?
A. "I wuv you watts and watts!"
Q. Why did the bread cross the road?
A. To BUTTER the other side!
Q. What has two heads, one tail and six legs?
A. A man on a horse.
Q. Which nail does a carpenter hate to hit?
A. A thumbnail.
Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!
Q. What kind of witch lives at the beach?
A. A sandwich.
Q. As I get older, I become shorter. What am I?
A. A pencil!
Q. What do you get if you cross a dino and a dog?
A. A dog a sore!
Q. Why did the apple cuddle the orange?
A. Juice because he wanted a squeeze!
Q. Do you know what happens when ducks fly upside down?
A. They quack up!
Q. What four letters frighten a thief?
A. O I C U!
Q. What's a monkey's favorite snack?
A. Chocolate chimp cookies.
Q. What did the policeman say to his belly?
A. You are under a vest!
Riddles | Knock-Knock
Jokes | Jokes
Animal Jokes | Banana Jokes | Cat Jokes | Chicken Jokes | Computer Jokes | Dinosaur Jokes
Doctor Jokes | Dog Jokes | Elephant Jokes | Food Jokes | Insect Jokes | Movie Jokes
Music Jokes | Outer Space Jokes | School Jokes | Sports Jokes
Christmas Jokes | Easter Jokes | Halloween Jokes | St. Patrick's Day Jokes | Thanksgiving Jokes | Valentine Jokes | Winter Jokes