Read our huge collection of funny riddles for kids! All our riddles include answers and have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Laugh out loud at these clever and silly riddles sent in by kids visiting our playhouse. Share them with your kids, students and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. We know these riddles will make you laugh out loud! :D
Riddles continue below video…
Q. What did the elephant say to her son when he was naughty?
A. "Tusk tusk!"
Q. Why does Waldo wear stripes?
A. Because he doesn't want to be spotted!
Q. If you are running in a race and you just passed the guy in second place what place are you in?
A. You are in second place!
Q. What way do the cows like to go?
A. The milky way!
Q. What lies in a pram and wobbles?
A. A jelly baby!
Q. What time does a duck wake up?
A. At the QUACK of dawn.
Q. Why was Dracula put in jail?
A. He tried to rob a blood bank.
Q. What fish will a greedy fisher catch?
Q. Where do crayons go on vacation?
Q. Why can't a car play football?
A. Because its only got one boot.
Q. What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
A. "You're way too young to smoke."
Q. What letter is an exclamation?
Q. Why did the young cat get arrested ?
A. For his litter!
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mouse.
Q. What kind of murderer has fibre?
A. A cereal killer.
Q. Why did the nose feel sad?
A. Because he always got picked on!
Q. There are 5 fish and 2 drown. How many are left?
A. Fish don't drown.
Q. What do you do when your fish is off?
A. You tune it up!
Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A. To get a spare rib .
Q. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A. A BULL-dozer.
Q. What do you call a bell that can do gymnastics?
A. A flexi-bell.
Q. Why did the orange wish he was wearing sunscreen?
A. He was starting to peel!
Q. There is a black house, grey house, red house, yellow house, green house and brown house. What colour house does President Obama live in?
A. The White House!
Q. Why do hair dressers always get places faster?
A. Because they know all the short cuts.
Q. If you say it you break it. What is it?
Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. A penguin doing 100 push ups.
Q. How do you make a sausage roll?
A. Push it down the hill!
Q. What is the cat's favorite button on the remote?
Q. Why did the orange lose the race?
A. Because it ran out of juice.
Q. Why did the skeleton flunk out?
A. His heart was not in it!
Q. What's a monkey's favorite snack?
A. Chocolate chimp cookies.
Q. Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
A. Because they put on the salsa.
Q. What do you call a fairy that hasn't taken a bath?
Q. What did the Malteeser want to be when it grew up?
A. A Smartie.
Q. What do you get with a kangoroo and a snake?
A. A jump rope.
Q. What is the easiest way to be on TV?
A. Sit on it!
Q. What do you call a football player whose helmet is too tight?
A. Call him anthing you want, he can't hear you!
Q. What does the lion say to his friends before a hunt?
A. "Let us prey."
Q. What is the only question you can never answer honestly with a yes?
A. "Are you asleep?"
Q. What is a volcano?
A. A mountain with heartburn!
Q. Which is the best month for a parade?
Q. If a red house is made out of red brick, and a blue house is made of blue bricks what is a green house made of?
Q. What's yesterday's tomorrow?
Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!
Q. What letter is a European bird?
Q. What letter is a vegetable?
Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
A. A creamy quacker!
Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Q. Why would it be silly to send a letter to Washington?
A. Because he is dead.
Q. What stands in the middle of an ocean?
A. The letter E!
Q. What's red and mushy and is found between sharks teeth?
A. Slow swimmers.
Q. Why do mushrooms like to tell jokes?
A. Because they're a fungi!
Q. What do you call a crab that will not share?
A. A selfish. (Shellfish)
Q. Why did the picture go to jail?
A. He got framed.
Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"
Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!
Q. What do you call a 100-year-old ant?
Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.
Q. What do fish take to stay alive?
A. Vitamin sea.
Q. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and put the elephant in and then close the door.
Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."
Q. You are trapped in a room and there are 3 doors. Each door has something behind it. The first door has two hungry lions that have not eaten in four years. The second door has electric lasers all across the room. The third has three ninjas ready to attack. Which door would you pick to go through?
A. The first because the lions would be dead if they have not eaten for 4 years!
Q. What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards?
A. "Dill me in!"
Q. What do you call a shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?
Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!
Q. Where does the rifle go?
A. To the Rifle Tower!
Q. Imagine you are in a room with no windows or doors. How will you get out?
A. Stop imagining!
Q. What can you throw but not catch?
A. A fit!
Q. Why did the boy scream when he opened the fridge?
A. Because he saw the salad dressing.
Q. How do you stop a rhino from charging?
A. Take away its credit card.
Q. Why didn't Noah do much fishing on the ark?
A. He only had two worms!
Q. Why couldn't the bike stand up on it's own?
A. Because it was two-tired!
Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!
Q. What do you say in the evening to a soldier in shining armor?
A. Night, night, Knight.
Q. Why is a riddle like a joke?
A. It's no good without a point.
Q. Why isn't your nose 12 inches long?
A. Because it would be a foot.
Q. If you're Scottish when you go into the bathroom and you're Scottish when you go out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the toilet?
A. European (you are peeing).
Q. What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
A. Open TOAD sandals.
Q. What do you call two spiders who just got married?
Q. What has a never ending life cycle?
Q. What is smaller then a talking cat?
A. A spelling bee.
Q. What did the flower say to the bike?
Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.
Q. Paul is six feet tall. He is an assistant in a butcher shop. He wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
Q. What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?
A. The Milky Baa-r kid.
Q. What is a mouth that won't shut up?
A. A blabber mouth.
Q. Which one is faster, hot or cold?
A. Hot. You can catch cold!
Q. What do you get if you cross a cow with a smurf?
A. Blue cheese!
Q. What is black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
A. Two skunks fighting over a pickle.
Q. What does a triceratops sit on?
A. It's tricera-bottom!
Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!
Q. What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder?
A. He got a little behind in his work!
Q. Why couldn't the eight year old get into the pirate movie?
A. Because it was rated ARRRR!
Q. What is a TV's favorite thing to do at the the beach?
A. Channel surf.
Q. What vegetable has eyes but can't see?
A. A potato.
Q. What do you call a grandfather clock?
A. An old timer!
Q. What does a cow do at the theatres?
A. Watch a MOO-vie.
Q. Why is baseball the safest sport?
A. Because on the field, it has a warning track.
Q. What's black when you get it, red when you use it and white when you're finished?
Q. Why did the doofus climb the glass wall?
A. So he could see what was on the other side.
Q. Why is there no air in space?
A. Because the Milky Way would go bad.
Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!
Q. What do you call a snail on a ship?
A. A snailor.
Q. What runs around a house but never moves?
A. A fence.
Q. Why did the cow pack his bags?
A. Because he was MOOving!
Q. What do you call a train full of toffee?
A. A chew-chew train!
Q. Which is the most dangerous city?
Q. What's brown and blue and swings through the jungle?
A. A monkey wearing a denim jacket!
Q. How do you get 6 donkeys into a fire engine?
A. Two in the front, two in the back and two on the top going, "He-haw, he-haw!"
Q. How is bubble gum similar to a Wookie?
A. It's Chewy.
Q. What would we do if we found bad plants spoiling our lawn?
A. We'd weed.
Q. Why don't farmers sew?
A. Because their needle is in a haystack.
Q. What's big, grey and has red spots?
A. An elephant with chicken pox!
Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No idea. (No eye deer)
Q. What does a wolf say on Halloween?
A. "Happy HOWLoween!"
Q. What did Cinderella wear to the beach?
A. Glass flippers.
Q. Why was the crab arrested?
A. For pinching!
Q. What word of only three syllables contains 26 letters?
Q. What did the jelly say to the peanut butter?
A. "We make a good match!"
Q. Why did the Advil go to jail?
A. Because it was a pain killer.
Q. Which animal is the oldest in the world?
A. The zebra because it's still black and white.
Q. Take me out of the box, scratch my head, I am now black but once was red. What am I?
A. A match!
Q. How do you get rid of a boomerang?
A. Throw it down a one way street!
Q. What does an eagle use to write with?
A. A bald point pen!
Q. What letter of the alphabet is an insect?
Q. What fish can help you build a house?
A. A hammerhead shark.
Q. Does France have a fourth of July?
A. Of course they do.
Q. Where do trees store their valuables?
A. In their trunk!
Q. Did you hear about the skeleton and his girlfriend?
A. They broke up and he was shattered!
Q. Why did the stupid racing driver make ten pit stops during the race?
A. He was asking for directions!
Q. What is the biggest word in the world?
A. Smiles. There is a mile in between each S.
Q. Imagine you are in a boat. You were being circled by sharks. One shark is about to bite you. What should you do?
A. Stop imagining!
Q. What is green and white when it is up and red when it hits the ground?
A. A watermelon.
Q. Why do gorillas have broad fingers?
A. Because they have large nostrils.
Q. Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
A. Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall down!
Q. Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A. Better not tell you, it might spread!
Q. What letter is a part of the head?
Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. An injured penguin.
Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"
Q. Why did the millionaire refuse to move to Alaska?
A. He didn't want to freeze his assets.
Q. What did the duck put in its soup?
Q. What is always blue (sad) but always smiles?
A. A smurf.
Q. What rolls and jumps but never walks?
A. A soccer ball!
Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!
Q. How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?
Q. What is the most musical part of your body?
A. Your nose, you can blow it and pick it.
Q. Why was the calculator sad?
A. Because it had too many problems to solve!
Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!
Q. Where do pencils come from?
Riddles | Knock-Knock
Jokes | Jokes
Animal Jokes | Banana Jokes | Cat Jokes | Chicken Jokes | Computer Jokes | Dinosaur Jokes
Doctor Jokes | Dog Jokes | Elephant Jokes | Food Jokes | Insect Jokes | Movie Jokes
Music Jokes | Outer Space Jokes | School Jokes | Sports Jokes
Christmas Jokes | Easter Jokes | Halloween Jokes | St. Patrick's Day Jokes | Thanksgiving Jokes | Valentine Jokes | Winter Jokes