Read our huge collection of funny riddles for kids! All our riddles include answers and have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Laugh out loud at these clever and silly riddles sent in by kids visiting our playhouse. Share them with your kids, students and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. We know these riddles will make you laugh out loud! :D
Riddles continue below video…
Q. Why was the clock in the cafeteria always slow?
A. Because every lunch it went back four seconds!
Q. What did the ground say to the earthquake?
A. "You crack me up!"
Q. Why isn't your nose 12 inches long?
A. Because it would be a foot.
Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.
Q. What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
A. I don't know and I don't care.
Q. Why couldn't the girl dial 911?
A. She couldn't find the 11.
Q. Why did the camper bring a baseball player to camp?
A. To pitch the tent.
Q. When is the best time to buy budgies?
A. When they're going cheap.
Q. Did you hear the joke about the egg that rolled in front of a truck?
A. Most people find they crack up!
Q. Why was the elephant afraid of the computer store?
A. Because they sold the world's best mice.
Q. There was a man who walked into a bar and asked if he could have a glass of water but the bartender pointed a gun at him and the man who asked for water said thank you and left. Why did he say thank you?
A. Because the man had the hiccups.
Q. What has a head and a tail but no body?
A. A coin?
Q. Why did the surfer wear a baseball mitt?
A. He wanted to catch a wave.
Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. Pork Chop!
Q. If athletes get athletes foot then what do astronauts get?
Q. How do you make a milk shake?
A. Give it a good scare!
Q. Where do you send a soldier with a toothache?
A. To the drill sergeant!
Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!
Q. What kind of musical instrument do rats play?
A. Mouse organs.
Q. What do you call an an ant sticking out of the ground?
A. A plANT!
Q. What letter is a vegetable?
Q. Why did the cookie cry?
A. Because his mother was a wafer too long!
Q. Why did the young cat get arrested ?
A. For his litter!
Q. What can you put in a freezer that's hot and will always come out hot?
A. Hot sauce.
Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"
Q. What is the capital of Greece?
Q. What insect is an arithmetic insect?
A. A mosquito! They add to misery, subtract from pleasure, divide the attention and multiply quickly!
Q. What does a cow grow on its face?
A. A MOOstache.
Q. What do miners put on their face at night?
A. Coal cream.
Q. Why did the fish tell excuses?
A. To get off the hook!
Q. What has a tongue but can't talk?
A. A shoe!
Q. If you have three 7 foot long ropes, how many feet do you have?
A. You have two feet!
Q. What goes around the world but stays in one place?
A. A stamp.
Q. What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
Q. Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A. To get to the other slide.
Q. Why don't skeletons fight?
A. Because they don't have the guts!
Q. How do you make cool music?
A. Put your CD's in the fridge.
Q. Why is the White House spotless?
A. Because it lives in WASHington!
Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!
Q. What do cows like to put on their sandwiches?
Q. What is a photograph's favorite game?
Q. What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A. A synonym roll.
Q. What is the laziest mountain in the world?
A. Mount Ever-rest!
Q. What do ghosts wear on their feet?
Q. What is green and sings?
A. Elvis Parsley.
Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
Q. What is black, white and red?
A. A panda with a rash!
Q. What did the flower say to the bike?
Q. What's better than 24?
Q. There is a horse tied to a rope five yards long. Ten yards away there is hay. The horse is eating the hay, how did he get there?
A. The rope isn't tied to anything.
Q. What is the end of everything?
A. The letter G.
Q. Why didn't the mummy answer the phone?
A. He was all tied up!
Q. How do you make Lady Gaga mad?
A. Poker face!
Q. Why do mushrooms like to tell jokes?
A. Because they're a fungi!
Q. What do you call an angry polar bear?
A. Nothing, just run.
Q. Which bet can't be won?
Q. What's black when you get it, red when you use it and white when you're finished?
Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.
Q. What is a parrot's favorite food on the 4th of July?
A. Fire crackers!
Q. Why does a giraffe eat so little?
A. Because they can make a little go a long way.
Q. Why is getting up in the morning like a pig's tail?
A. It's twirly. (Too early)
Q. What do you call a bear who forgot his socks?
Q. What is in fingers, toolboxes and snails?
Q. What seven letters did the robber say when he saw nothing in the safe?
A. "O I C U R M T!"
Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!
Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
A. A creamy quacker!
Q. What is red when you go and green when you stop?
A. A watermelon.
Q. How did Jack Frost get to work?
A. By icicle!
Q. Which tree doesn't play checkers?
A. The Chestnut.
Q. Why did the strawberry cross the road?
A. Because his mom was in a jam!
Q. Why did the oak tree have to eat his ice cream in a dish?
A. The pine tree wouldn't give him a cone!
Q. Why did the boy bury his flashlight?
A. Because the batteries were dead.
Q. What do you do when your fish is off?
A. You tune it up!
Q. What did the cannibal say after he ate a clown?
A. "That tasted funny!"
Q. What did the bread say to the knife?
A. "Don't try to butter me up."
Q. What did the cab driver wear to the ball?
A. A TAXIdo!
Q. What's yellow and goes 50 miles per hour?
A. A banana in a washing machine.
Q. What did the fish say to the chip?
A. "We were made for each other."
Q. If you know me you will want to share me, but if you share me I will be gone. What am I?
A. A secret.
Q. Paul is six feet tall. He is an assistant in a butcher shop. He wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
Q. What do a duck and a tricycle have in common?
A. They both have a steering wheel, except for the duck.
Q. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A. In case he got a hole in one!
Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!
Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.
Q. What did the tornado ask the car?
A. "Wanna go for a spin?"
Q. What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
A. "You're way too young to smoke."
Q. What do you get with a kangoroo and a snake?
A. A jump rope.
Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.
Q. How do you know when an Irish person is happy?
A. When they are Dublin over with laughter!
Q. What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Q. Which animal is the oldest in the world?
A. The zebra because it's still black and white.
Q. What's black and white and can climb trees?
A. A panda.
Q. What does a surprised iceberg say?
A. "Goodness Glacius!"
Q. What has 3 feet but cannot walk?
A. A yardstick!
Q. Imagine you are in a room with no windows or doors. How will you get out?
A. Stop imagining!
Q. What starts with a P and ends with an E and has thousands of letters?
A. The Post Office!
Q. What does a bird say on Halloween?
A. Twick or tweet!
Q. Why did the grandma sit in the rocking chair with her roller blades on?
A. Because she wanted to rock and roll.
Q. Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?
A. Because he had a big bill.
Q. What is the difference between a cat that got photocopied and a cat that follows you?
A. One is a cat copy, the other is a copy cat.
Q. What gets broken without being held?
A. A promise.
Q. What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A. A cloud!
Q. Where do pencils come from?
Q. Where do crayons go on vacation?
Q. Why did the boy scream when he opened the fridge?
A. Because he saw the salad dressing.
Q. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A. A BULL-dozer.
Q. What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left for school?
Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.
Q. What fish will a greedy fisher catch?
Q. What has 6 legs, 4 eyes, 4 ears, 2 noses, 2 mouths and 2 heads?
A. A man sitting on a horse.
Q. What are the strongest animals in the ocean?
Q. What has ears but can't hear?
A. A corn field!
Q. A women shot her husband, put him under water for 5 minutes, and then hung him. Later, they went out to dinner. How did he survive, and then go out to dinner?
A. She was a photographer!
Q. What did one burp say to the next?
A. Let's be stinkers and sneak out the back!
Q. What's black, white, black, white, black and white?
A. A penguin rolling down a hill.
Q. What is a cow's favourite movie?
Q. What is the world's largest beverage?
A. MinneSODA. (Minnesota)
Q. What can fill up the the room but takes no space?
Q. What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday?
A. "Thank you, I will never part with it."
Q. What did the baseball say to the cake batter?
A. "Batter up."
Q. What do cheerleaders drink?
A. Root beer.
Q. What do bananas do when they get a sunburn?
A. They peel.
Q. Why didn't the police catch the banana?
A. Because it split!
Q. What can't you eat at dinner?
A. Breakfast and lunch!
Q. What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Q. Did you hear about the kidnapping?
A. He finally woke up!
Q. The person who makes it sells it, the person who buys it never uses it, the person who is in it doesn't know it, what is it?
A. A coffin.
Q. What did the vampire bring to the baseball field?
A. His bats!
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To show the possums how it's done.
Q. What kind of car does Humpty Dumpty drive?
A. A Yolks Wagon!
Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"
Q. What has to be broken before you can use it?
A. An egg.
Q. What can you catch but never throw?
A. A cold.
Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A. Time to get a new fence.
Q. What letter is a drink?
Q. Why are ghosts always hungry?
A. Because the food goes right through them!
Q. Why did the rancher name his ranch "Peanut Butter"?
A. It was a great spread.
Q. What can run, play and move around yet it cannot breath?
A. A CD or DVD!
Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.
Q. Why did the monkey cross the road?
A. Because the chicken retired.
Q. As I get older, I become shorter. What am I?
A. A pencil!
Q. What animal never tells the truth?
A. A lion.
Q. What do you take before every meal?
A. A seat!
Q. What gets wetter as it dries?
A. A towel!
Q. What has a never ending life cycle?
Q. Did you hear about the skeleton and his girlfriend?
A. They broke up and he was shattered!
Q. Why was the ant confused?
A. Because all of his uncles were ants!
Q. Why did the nose cross the street?
A. He was getting picked on!
Q. What always runs, never walks, often murmurs, never talks, has a bed but doesn't sleep, has a mouth but never eats?
A. A river!
Q. How did the man build up his flea collar business?
A. He started from scratch.
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