Read our huge collection of funny riddles for kids! All our riddles include answers and have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Laugh out loud at these clever and silly riddles sent in by kids visiting our playhouse. Share them with your kids, students and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. We know these riddles will make you laugh out loud! :D
Riddles continue below video…
Q. What garden has the most vegetables?
A. Flash garden!
Q. What's brown and blue and swings through the jungle?
A. A monkey wearing a denim jacket!
Q. What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday?
A. "Thank you, I will never part with it."
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
Q. How do you stop a rhino from charging?
A. Take away its credit card.
Q. What is a cow's favourite movie?
Q. A duck, a cat and a cow went out to dinner, who had to pay?
A. The duck. He was the only one with a bill.
Q. Why couldn't the skeleton laugh?
A. Because he lost his funny bone.
Q. What did the hat say to the scarf?
A. "You can hang around. I'll just go on a head!"
Q. What is brown, has a tail and a head, but no legs?
A. A penny!
Q. What did the paint give the wall on their first anniversary?
A. A new coat.
Q. What kind of music does a mountain like?
A. Rock music!
Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.
Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.
Q. Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?
Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.
Q. What did the plow say to the tractor?
A. "Pull me a little closer, John Deere."
Q. What's black and white and can climb trees?
A. A panda.
Q. What does a hamburger name his daughter?
Q. If chickens get up when the rooster crows, when do ducks get up?
A. At the quack of dawn!
Q. What letter of the alphabet is an insect?
Q. What animal is NOT allowed to play in games or contests?
A. Cheetahs (cheaters)
Q. Why was the woman so happy she finished the jigsaw puzzle in six months?
A. The box said 2-4 years!
Q. What devours everything and everything devours it?
Q. How do you make a milk shake?
A. Give it a good scare!
Q. Why did the bread cross the road?
A. To BUTTER the other side!
Q. Why are pirates called pirates?
A. Because they AAARRR!
Q. I am the beginning of end and the end of time and space. I am essential to creation and I surround every place. What am I?
A. The letter E!
Q. When is the best time to buy budgies?
A. When they're going cheap.
Q. What do you call a person who operates an armored car?
A. A safe driver.
Q. What kind of shoes do mice like?
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Q. What do you call a door that is cute?
Q. What gets smaller as it gets higher?
A. An airplane!
Q. Three ladies are under a small umbrella. None of them got wet. How did they do it?
A. It wasn't raining!
Q. What room can't ghosts go in?
A. The LIVING room!
Q. What type of house weighs the least?
A. A lighthouse.
Q. Why was the ghost on the cheerleading squad?
A. It wanted to add a little team spirit.
Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!
Q. What four letters frighten a thief?
A. O I C U!
Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.
Q. What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?
A. A wonkey.
Q. What cheese is not yours?
A. Nacho Cheese.
Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. An injured penguin.
Q. Paul is six feet tall. He is an assistant in a butcher shop. He wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
Q. Why was the Egyptian confused?
A. Because someone told him his daddy was a mummy!
Q. What does an eagle use to write with?
A. A bald point pen!
Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!
Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!
Q. What is a 3 letter word that gets bigger when you add 3 letters?
Q. What is green and white when it is up and red when it hits the ground?
A. A watermelon.
Q. What do you get when you cross a star and a gun?
A. A shooting star!
Q. Why did the bee feel cold?
A. Because it is in the middle of A and C.
Q. I have 7 children half of them are boys, what is the other half?
A. They were all boys.
Q. Why didn't the police catch the banana?
A. Because it split!
Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. The butcher was on the other side.
Q. What do you call a football team with pigs?
A. Queens Pork Rangers.
Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."
Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.
Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!
Q. Why did the cow eat the tight rope walker?
A. Because he wanted a balanced meal!
Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).
Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!
Q. What's an insect's favorite sport?
Q. Why did the starfish breakup with the lobster?
A. Because he was SHELLfish.
Q. What is red when you go and green when you stop?
A. A watermelon.
Q. Why can you never trust spiders?
A. Because they post stuff on the web.
Q. What do you use to fix a torn daisy?
A. A flower patch.
Q. What gate can't you enter?
Q. What do you call a bunny with fleas?
A. Bugs Bunny.
Q. Why do you never ask a dinosaur to read you a story?
A. Because their tales are so long.
Q. Why did the boy take a packet of oats with him to bed?
A. To feed his nightMARE!
Q. What did the vampire bring to the baseball field?
A. His bats!
Q. What does a wolf say on Halloween?
A. "Happy HOWLoween!"
Q. Why couldn't the girl dial 911?
A. She couldn't find the 11.
Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.
Q. What is big, brown, black, hairy, has 5 eyes, sharp teeth and big claws, and eats human flesh?
A. I don't know either, but if you see one, you better run!
Q. What do race car driver's eat?
A. Fast food!
Q. What do you call a person who studies happy parrots?
A. A jollypollyoligist!
Q. Imagine you are in a metal box. There is no way of getting out. You have no tools or food. How do you get out and survive?
A. You stop imagining!
Q. What can you find in the middle of a tornado?
A. The letter N.
Q. What did Delaware?
A. A New Jersey!
Q. Why did Tigger look in the bathroom?
A. To find Pooh!
Q. What's red and mushy and is found between sharks teeth?
A. Slow swimmers.
Q. What tools do you need for math?
Q. Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired?
A. Because he couldn't keep his calves together!
Q. How do you make a sausage roll?
A. Push it down the hill!
Q. What call for help, when written in capital letters, is the same forwards, backwards and upside down?
Q. What do you call a frog that parks in a tow away zone?
A. A TOAD away zone.
Q. How did Jack Frost get to work?
A. By icicle!
Q. How do you know when an Irish person is happy?
A. When they are Dublin over with laughter!
Q. What is brown and sticky?
A. A stick.
Q. What kind of running means walking
A. Running out of gas.
Q. There are 2 cats, one is French and the other English. The French cat's name was Un Deux Trois and the English cat's name was One Two Three. Both cats think they're better than the other. To determine this they have a swimming contest. Which cat wins and why?
A. The English cat, because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq! (Un Deux Trois cat sank)
Q. Why did the orange get stuck up the on the mountain?
A. Because he ran out of juice.
Q. How do you make a swordfish like the library?
A. Take away the S in its name!
Q. Did you hear about the man who plugged his electric blanket into the toaster?
A. He kept popping out of bed all night!
Q. What do you call a grandfather clock?
A. An old timer!
Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!
Q. What time do you go to the dentist?
A. Tooth hurty!
Q. Why did the telephone go to the jewelry store?
A. He wanted a new ring.
Q. Which nail does a carpenter hate to hit?
A. A thumbnail.
Q. What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
A. One is really heavy. The other is a little lighter.
Q. Why did the dinosaur bring string to the baseball game?
A. He wanted to tie up the score!
Q. Why was the clock in the cafeteria always slow?
A. Because every lunch it went back four seconds!
Q. What flower gives the most kisses on Valentines Day?
Q. Why do cats always go after mice and birds?
A. Because cats like fast food.
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To show the possums how it's done.
Q. What do you call a cat that eats lemons?
A. A sourpuss.
Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
Q. How can a rose ride a bike?
A. It uses its petals!
Q. What do you call a super hero who has lost his powers?
A. A super-zero.
Q. What do birds get when they are ill?
Q. How do you catch a rabbit?
A. Make a noise like a carrot.
Q. What kind of fish goes great with peanut butter?
Q. What did the calendar say to the other calendar?
A. "You want to go on a date with me?"
Q. Where will you find the biggest rope in the world?
A. In EuROPE!
Q. What do you call a shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?
Q. What does the baby popcorn call his dad?
Q. Why did the cow want some cheese?
A. Because it's MOOlicious!
Q. A bus driver was going down the road. He passed a stop sign without stopping, went on the left side of the road, and ran a red light, yet he didn't get fined. Why?
A. Because he wasn't driving a bus, he was walking!
Q. A cowboy rode into town on Friday, stayed for 3 days and left on Friday. How did he do it?
A. His horse's name was Friday.
Q. How much is the moon worth?
A. One dollar, because it has four quarters.
Q. What did Cinderella wear to the beach?
A. Glass flippers.
Q. What would we do if we found bad plants spoiling our lawn?
A. We'd weed.
Q. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A. Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!
Q. Why did the horse cross the road?
A. To get to the other NEIGH-bourhood.
Q. What was the name of Noah's wife?
Q. What sort of appliance does a monkey use?
A. A gorilla. (A griller)
Q. What does a French cow say?
A. "Moo Lala!"
Q. What runs around a house but never moves?
A. A fence.
Q. What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A. A cloud!
Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A. Time to get a new fence.
Q. Why do cows wear bells?
A. Because their horns don't work!
Q. What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A. A synonym roll.
Q. What did the red sock say to the white sock?
A. "Let's play ball."
Q. What has a neck but can't swallow?
A. A bottle.
Q. Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A. Because it's too far to walk!
Q. What do you call a chicken crossing the road?
A. Poultry in motion.
Q. What insect is an arithmetic insect?
A. A mosquito! They add to misery, subtract from pleasure, divide the attention and multiply quickly!
Q. Why did the nose feel sad?
A. Because he always got picked on!
Q. What smells like red paint but is blue?
A. Blue paint.
Q. Which mountain has never been climbed?
A. Mountain Dew!
Q. What do you call a woodpecker with no beak?
A. A head banger.
Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.
Q. Imagine you are in a boat. You were being circled by sharks. One shark is about to bite you. What should you do?
A. Stop imagining!
Q. How did Burger King propose to his girlfriend?
A. With an onion ring.
Q. Why did the leprechaun cross the road?
A. To get to the pot of gold.
Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.
Q. Do you want to hear a construction joke?
A. Sorry I'm still working on it!
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