Read our huge collection of funny riddles for kids! All our riddles include answers and have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Laugh out loud at these clever and silly riddles sent in by kids visiting our playhouse. Share them with your kids, students and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. We know these riddles will make you laugh out loud! :D
Riddles continue below video…
Q. How do you make a swordfish like the library?
A. Take away the S in its name!
Q. Whoever makes it, tells it not. Whoever takes it, knows it not. Whoever knows it, wants it not. What is it?
A. Counterfeit money.
Q. What sits outside all year long and is Irish?
A. Paddy O'furniture.
Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.
Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a camel?
A. A lumpy milkshake!
Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.
Q. Why did the nose feel sad?
A. Because he always got picked on!
Q. Why did the TV go out with the heater?
A. Because he thought she was hot!
Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"
Q. What goes through towns and hills but never moves?
Q. What did the elephant say to her son when he was naughty?
A. "Tusk tusk!"
Q. Can February March?
A. No, but April May.
Q. Why did the kid put his head into the piano?
A. He wanted to play by ear.
Q. What did the candle say to the other candle?
A. "Are you going out tonight?"
Q. Why do gorillas have broad fingers?
A. Because they have large nostrils.
Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.
Q. What do dogs and trees have in common?
Q. How do you cure a headache?
A. Put your head through the window and the pane will go!
Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.
Q. Why do you never ask a dinosaur to read you a story?
A. Because their tales are so long.
Q. What did the cow say to the other cow?
A. "MOOve over!"
Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.
Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. Because it was the chicken's day off.
Q. Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?
A. He had no body to dance with!
Q. Why did the policeman stay in bed?
A. Because he was an undercover cop.
Q. If the red house is in the left and the blue house is on the right, where is the white house ?
A. Washington DC.
Q. What seven letters did the robber say when he saw nothing in the safe?
A. "O I C U R M T!"
Q. Where do bees go after they are married?
A. On their HONEY-moon!
Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.
Q. What two candies are the smartest?
A. Smarties and Nerds.
Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.
Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."
Q. Why don't ducks get letters?
A. Because they already have bills!
Q. Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A. Because it's too far to walk!
Q. There are ten cats on a boat. One jumps off, how many are left?
A. None, they were all copy cats!
Q. Why did the boy scream when he opened the fridge?
A. Because he saw the salad dressing.
Q. What did one cliff say to the other cliff?
A. "Don't try to bluff me."
Q. What did the cab driver wear to the ball?
A. A TAXIdo!
Q. What's a frog's favorite year?
A. Leap year!
Q. Why did the boat go on a diet?
A. It wanted to be ship-shape.
Q. What does a cloud wear under it's raincoat?
Q. Why did the toilet paper want to roll down the hill?
A. To get to the bottom.
Q. Why did the boy take a packet of oats with him to bed?
A. To feed his nightMARE!
Q. What letter is a European bird?
Q. How many letters are in envelope?
Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!
Q. Why couldn't the girl finish her music homework?
A. Because she forgot her notebook!
Q. Where are the most cows born?
Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.
Q. What letter of the alphabet is an insect?
Q. If a man was born in Spain, raised in Russia, grew old in Greece and died in America, what is he?
Q. Q. Rail road crossing, watch out for the cars, can you spell that with out any Rs?
Q. What insect is a coward?
A. A flea!
Q. Where did the cow go on a holiday?
A. MOO York.
Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!
Q. What do you call a person who operates an armored car?
A. A safe driver.
Q. What language does a billboard speak?
A. Sign language.
Q. What did Cinderella say to the photographer?
A. "Someday my prints will come!"
Q. One day I was in my car and crashed into a pole. I died sadly. But when I got up to heaven I could see grandma standing with Adam and Eve. The question is how did I know it was Adam and Eve?
A. Because they had no belly-buttons!
Q. What grows if you feed it but dies if it drinks?
Q. Why did the silly electrician jump over the clock?
A. So he could get some overtime!
Q. What did the joey say to the turtle?
A. "I can take my home with me too."
Q. Which bet can't be won?
Q. What did the sick freight elevator say?
A. "I think I'm coming down with something."
Q. Why did the camper bring a baseball player to camp?
A. To pitch the tent.
Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
Q. What's black, white and blue all over?
A. A cold zebra.
Q. What did the little light bulb say to its mum?
A. "I wuv you watts and watts!"
Q. How do you know when a dumb person has been on the computer?
A. There's white-out all over the screen.
Q. There are 30 white horses on a red hill. They stomp, chomp and they stop. What are they?
A. Your teeth.
Q. What animal is NOT allowed to play in games or contests?
A. Cheetahs (cheaters)
Q. What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
A. "I lava you!"
Q. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A. An investiGATOR!
Q. I have 7 children half of them are boys, what is the other half?
A. They were all boys.
Q. Why was Dracula put in jail?
A. He tried to rob a blood bank.
Q. What do you call a deer that makes money?
A. A buck!
Q. How do you communicate with a fish?
A. Drop it a line.
Q. What did the magazine say to the pencil?
A. "You are looking very sharp today."
Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?
Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.
Q. Which restaurants are good at math?
Q. Where do famous dragons go after they retire?
A. The hall of flame!
Q. What do you get when you cross a magician with a camera?
A. Hocus Focus!
Q. What did the plow say to the tractor?
A. "Pull me a little closer, John Deere."
Q. What do you do if something charges at you?
A. You take away its credit card!
Q. What do you call a 100-year-old ant?
Q. How do you throw a tent?
A. You pitch it!
Q. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?
A. A buccaneer (A buck an ear)
Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!
Q. What does a toad say when it sees something great?
A. "TOADaly Awesome!"
Q. Why did the gum cross the road?
A. It was stuck to the chicken's foot.
Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).
Q. I am the beginning of end and the end of time and space. I am essential to creation and I surround every place. What am I?
A. The letter E!
Q. The peak on my house is going east and west and slopes North and South. A rooster is on the peak and lays an egg, which way did the egg roll?
A. Roosters don't lay eggs
Q. What kind of mail does a superstar vampire get?
A. Fang mail.
Q. Think of the person who lives in disguise, who deals in secrets and tells nothing but lies.
Next tell me what's always last to mend the middle of middle and end of the end.
And finally give me the sound often heard during the search for a hard to find word.
Now string them all together and answer me this:
What creature would you be unwilling to kiss?
A. A spider.
Q. Where do trees store their valuables?
A. In their trunk!
Q. What gets wetter as it dries?
A. A towel!
Q. What did the shark say when he bumped into a whale?
A. "I didn't do it on porpoise!" (purpose)
Q. What do you call an overweight E.T.?
A. Extra Cholesterol!
Q. Why did the girl bring a ruler to bed with her?
A. She wanted to see how long she slept.
Q. What bow can't be tied?
A. A rainbow.
Q. What is the most musical part of your body?
A. Your nose, you can blow it and pick it.
Q. A bus driver was going down the road. He passed a stop sign without stopping, went on the left side of the road, and ran a red light, yet he didn't get fined. Why?
A. Because he wasn't driving a bus, he was walking!
Q. You're stuck in a cement box, all you have is a mirror and a table, how do you get out?
A. You take the mirror, you see what you saw, grab the saw, cut the table in half, one half plus one half equals one whole, you take the hole put it in the wall and walk out.
Q. Why did the fish have no money on him?
A. He left it all at the bank.
Q. What is green and white when it is up and red when it hits the ground?
A. A watermelon.
Q. What do miners put on their face at night?
A. Coal cream.
Q. Why did the tomato blush?
A. Because it saw the salad dressing!
Q. There are 2 cats, one is French and the other English. The French cat's name was Un Deux Trois and the English cat's name was One Two Three. Both cats think they're better than the other. To determine this they have a swimming contest. Which cat wins and why?
A. The English cat, because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq! (Un Deux Trois cat sank)
Q. Why do cats always go after mice and birds?
A. Because cats like fast food.
Q. Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to see his flat mate!
Q. What bird is always sad?
A. A blue-bird.
Q. It is greater than God and more evil than devil. The poor have it. The rich need it and if you eat it you'll die. What is it?
Q. What is a flower between your nose and your chin?
A. Two lips. (Tulips)
Q. What kind of bug goes Zzub Zzub?
A. A bumble bee flying backward!
Q. What goes up but does not go down?
A. Your age!
Q. What should you do when you see a green alien?
A. Wait until it's ripe!
Q. Why should you never play hide and seek with mountains?
A. Mountains always peek (peak).
Q. What way do the cows like to go?
A. The milky way!
Q. What do you call a fly with no wings?
A. A walk.
Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.
Q. What do you do when your fish is off?
A. You tune it up!
Q. What does Dracula say when he doesn't have good news?
A. "I have BAT news, everyone!"
Q. Why couldn't the eight year old get into the pirate movie?
A. Because it was rated ARRRR!
Q. Why did the lamb go to the river?
A. To get a BAA-th!
Q. What is a photograph's favorite game?
Q. What do you get if you cross a porcupine and a giraffe?
A. A seven metre long toothbrush!
Q. What do you get when you put a radio in a fridge?
A. Cool music!
Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!
Q. Why did the firefighter put his belt on?
A. To hold his pants up!
Q. How do you keep someone in suspense?
A. I'll tell you tomorrow.
Q. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A. A BULL-dozer.
Q. What do you call a musical insect?
A. A humbug.
Q. What can fill up the the room but takes no space?
Q. What goes around and around but never gets dizzy?
Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To show the possums how it's done.
Q. What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards?
A. "Dill me in!"
Q. Why did the son put his father on top of the freezer?
A. He wanted an ice pop!
Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.
Q. Why did the telephone go to the jewelry store?
A. He wanted a new ring.
Q. Tall in the morning, short at noon, gone at night but I'll be back soon. What am I?
A. A shadow!
Q. Where do you get draggin' milk?
A. From a cow with short legs.
Q. Why did Tigger look in the bathroom?
A. To find Pooh!
Q. What did the vampire say to his wife?
A. "Your neck looks slimmer."
Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!
Q. What do you get if you cross some bubble bath and a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Foams.
Q. Why was the coach mad?
A. Because he wanted his quarterback.
Q. What happened to the frog's car when it got stuck?
A. It had to get TOAD away.
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