Once there was a scientist doing a test on a frog. He told the frog to jump, so it jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "4 legs-jumps."
Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's front legs and said, "Jump." The frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "3 legs-jumps."
Then the scientist cut off the frog's other front leg and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "2 legs-jumps."
Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's back legs and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. So the scientist wrote in his notes, "1 leg jump."
Then the scientist cut off the last leg and said, "Jump," and the frog didn't move. So the scientist said it again, but it still didn't move, so in his notes the scientist wrote, "No legs-goes deaf."
Think about the phrase " There are plenty of other fish in the sea," but then again, who would want to date fish?
Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
Patient: Doctor! Doctor! I think I am losing my memory!
Doctor: When did that happen?
Patient: When did what happen!
A teacher once asked a boy, "Where is the Dead Sea?"
The boy replied, "Miss, I never knew it was sick."
A guy went to the doctor. "Doctor, I keep getting this pain in my eye every time a take a drink of my coffee."
The doctor says, "Try taking out the spoon."
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Invisible Boy's Mother: Why are your grades so low?
Invisible Boy: Because the teacher always marks me absent.
When the dentist had a appointment with his friend it was at 2:30.
There was a pig on the side of the road and a man came and picked him up. A cop saw him driving with the pig in his car. The cop pulled him over and said, "What are you doing with a pig in your front seat?"
The man said, "I'm taking him to the zoo."
And the cop said, "Oh, alright."
The next day the cop saw the same man with the same pig in his front seat, he pulled him over and asked, "What are you doing with that pig? I thought you were taking him to the zoo."
"I did, and today we're going to Disneyland."
The orchestra had finished their practice for the night and the conductor said,"Good night everyone!" The next morning at practice he said, "Cello everyone!"
See this finger here? Yesterday I whacked it with a hammer. I think I hit the wrong nail!
Moe: Does your undershirt have holes in it?
Joe: No, why?
Moe: Then how do you get it on in the morning?
Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I'm going to die in 59 seconds!
Doctor: Hang on, I'll be there in a minute.
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