Squigly Jokes and Riddles

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Halloween Jokes for Kids

Spooktacular Halloween jokes!

Read our collection of spook-tacular halloween jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Halloween jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about skeletons, ghouls, vampires, ghosts, and everything Halloween! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
A. Pi.

Q. What do you call two witches who share a broom?
A. Broom mates.

Q. What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?
A. A cab.

Q. What do you call a pig dressed as Frankenstein?
A. FrankenSWINE.

Q. What pants do ghosts wear?
A. BOO jeans.

Q. Why didn't the ghost go boo?
A. Because it had no guts.

Q. What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A. "I love BOO!"

Q. Where did the ghost go on vacation?
A. The BOO-hamas!

Q. Why can't Dracula play baseball?
A. He lost his bat.

Q. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A. "Spook when you're spooken to."

Q. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
A. A plumpkin!

Q. What does a bird say on Halloween?
A. Twick or tweet!

Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. SPOOKgetti!

Q. Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?
A. He had no body to dance with!

Q. What games do bats like to play on Halloween?
A. Anything with a ball.

Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!

Q. Why do people like vampires so much?
A. Because they are FANGtastic!

Q. What do skeletons say at the front door?
A. "Crick or creak!"

Q. Who won the zombie war?
A. Nobody, it was dead even.

Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster.

Q. What did the vampire say to his wife?
A. "Your neck looks slimmer."

Q. Why didn't the mummy answer the phone?
A. He was all tied up!

Q. What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth cleaned?
A. The dentist.

Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he had no guts.

Q. What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?
A. Lazy bones!

Q. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne!

Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy?
A. Either a flying bandage or a gift wrapped bat!

Q. Why did the mummy get a headache?
A. Because he was GOBLIN his candy!

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. "You are my sunshine!"

Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.

Q. What does Dracula say when he doesn't have good news?
A. "I have BAT news, everyone!"

Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!

Q. Who did Dracula take to the movies?
A. His GHOUL friend.

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!

Q. You are dreaming. A monster comes up to you and takes you away. He puts you in an oven and turns it on. Any moment he will be eating you. What should you do?
A. Pinch yourself.

Riddles continue below video…

Q. What key opens a Haunted House?
A. A spooKEY!

Q. Why doesn't a witch wear a flat hat?
A. Because there's no point in it!

Q. What did the skeleton order with his drink?
A. A mop.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. What is a mummy's favorite kind of music?
A. Rap!

Q. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A. A crummy mummy.

Q. What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
A. A flying Band-Aid.

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!

Q. Why couldn't the skeleton laugh?
A. Because he lost his funny bone.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. What monster wears the most clothes?
A. A werewolf!

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?
A. To the living room!

Q. What happens when a ghost haunts a theatre?
A. The actors get stage fright.

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on?
A. Dead-ends.

Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?
A. Ghoul-aid!

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!

Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
A. Boo!

Q. How do you make a skeleton laugh?
A. Tickle its funnybone!

Q. Why don't skeletons fight?
A. Because they don't have the guts!

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
A. MaliBOO!

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. Why did the ghost join the team?
A. They needed more spirit!

Q. What time is it when you see costumes, a house, candy and hear trick-or-treat?
A. Halloween!

Q. What did the witch say when she fell in the moat?
A. "My eels are killing me!"

Q. Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game?
A. Because they couldn't find their bats.

Q. What is worse than being a three hundred pound witch?
A. Being her broom.

Q. What is the problem with two twin witches?
A. You never know which witch is which!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
A. Shocking.

Q. Why did the vampire give up acting?
A. Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. Why did the ghost bring toilet paper to the party?
A. Because he was a party pooper.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Jokes

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

... more Halloween fun.

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