Squigly Jokes and Riddles

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Halloween Jokes for Kids

Spooktacular Halloween jokes!

Read our collection of spook-tacular halloween jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Halloween jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about skeletons, ghouls, vampires, ghosts, and everything Halloween! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!

Q. Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?
A. Because he had no body to go with.

Q. What street does a vampire live on?
A. A dead end!

Q. Why don't skeletons play music in church?
A. They have no organs.

Q. What time is it when you see costumes, a house, candy and hear trick-or-treat?
A. Halloween!

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. Why did the ghost bring toilet paper to the party?
A. Because he was a party pooper.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A. "I love BOO!"

Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster.

Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!

Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!

Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Q. What do you call two witches who share a broom?
A. Broom mates.

Q. Where did the ghosts go for vacation?
A. Mali-BOO.

Q. What games do bats like to play on Halloween?
A. Anything with a ball.

Q. What do you call a pig dressed as Frankenstein?
A. FrankenSWINE.

Q. What did the vampire bring to the baseball field?
A. His bats!

Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.

Q. Why did the mummy get a headache?
A. Because he was GOBLIN his candy!

Q. Who did Dracula take to the movies?
A. His GHOUL friend.

Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other.

Q. Why didn't the mummy answer the phone?
A. He was all tied up!

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. What does a ghost keep in its stable?
A. Nightmares.

Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
A. MONSTERizer!

Q. What monster wears the most clothes?
A. A werewolf!

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the store?
A. To get some spare ribs.

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he had no guts.

Q. What is a hotdog's favorite phrase?
A. Happy HalloWEINIE!

Q. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A. "Spook when you're spooken to."

Q. What does a ghost call his mom and dad?
A. His transparents.

Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!

Q. What did the vampire say to his wife?
A. "Your neck looks slimmer."

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.

Riddles continue below video…

Q. What happens when a ghost haunts a theatre?
A. The actors get stage fright.

Q. What key opens a Haunted House?
A. A spooKEY!

Q. Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game?
A. Because they couldn't find their bats.

Q. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A. "Long time no see."

Q. Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A. A scare centre!

Q. What do skeletons say at the front door?
A. "Crick or creak!"

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite drink?
A. Milk, it's white and good for your bones.

Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!

Q. What is the problem with two twin witches?
A. You never know which witch is which!

Q. Where do ghosts get their mail?
A. At the ghost office.

Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Q. Why can't Dracula play baseball?
A. He lost his bat.

Q. Why didn't the ghost go boo?
A. Because it had no guts.

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. What do you do when you see a ghost?
A. Run away of course!

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. What do you call two witches that live together?
A. Broom mates.

Q. What is worse than being a three hundred pound witch?
A. Being her broom.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?
A. Lazy bones!

Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What is a mummy's favorite kind of music?
A. Rap!

Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
A. Shocking.

Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!

Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
A. Boo!

Q. What do ghosts wear on their feet?
A. BOOts.

Q. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?
A. Dead ringers.

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Q. Why did the ghost join the team?
A. They needed more spirit!

Q. What do witches call for in a hotel room?
A. Broom service.

Q. Where is the zombie's favorite room in the house?
A. The living room.

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Jokes

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

... more Halloween fun.

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