Squigly Jokes and Riddles

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Halloween Jokes for Kids

Spooktacular Halloween jokes!

Read our collection of spook-tacular halloween jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Halloween jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about skeletons, ghouls, vampires, ghosts, and everything Halloween! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. Why can't Dracula play baseball?
A. He lost his bat.

Q. When do vampires like horse racing?
A. When it's neck and neck!

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. What did the ghost say when it sneezed?
A. "Ahh BOO!"

Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A. Any old girl he can dig up.

Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!

Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?
A. Ghoul-aid!

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. Why didn't the mummy answer the phone?
A. He was all tied up!

Q. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
A. A plumpkin!

Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.

Q. What does a ghost call his mom and dad?
A. His transparents.

Q. Why did the ghost join the team?
A. They needed more spirit!

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. Why couldn't the skeleton laugh?
A. Because he lost his funny bone.

Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.

Q. What do you call two witches that live together?
A. Broom mates.

Q. Who won the zombie war?
A. Nobody, it was dead even.

Q. Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?
A. He had no body to dance with!

Q. Where did the mother monster put her child when she was at work?
A. At day-SCARE!

Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!

Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. Why was Dracula put in jail?
A. He tried to rob a blood bank.

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!

Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!

Q. What street does a vampire live on?
A. A dead end!

Q. What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?
A. A cab.

Q. Why didn't the ghost go boo?
A. Because it had no guts.

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the store?
A. To get some spare ribs.

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on?
A. Dead-ends.

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne!

Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.

Riddles continue below video…

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. What do you read on Halloween?
A. BOO-ks

Q. What did the vampire bring to the baseball field?
A. His bats!

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. Why did the vampire give up acting?
A. Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Q. Why don't skeletons fight?
A. Because they don't have the guts!

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
A. "Let's get glowing."

Q. What does a panda ghost eat?
A. Bam-BOO!

Q. Why doesn't a witch wear a flat hat?
A. Because there's no point in it!

Q. What do witches call for in a hotel room?
A. Broom service.

Q. What time is it when you see costumes, a house, candy and hear trick-or-treat?
A. Halloween!

Q. Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?
A. Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!

Q. You are dreaming. A monster comes up to you and takes you away. He puts you in an oven and turns it on. Any moment he will be eating you. What should you do?
A. Pinch yourself.

Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.

Q. Who did Dracula take to the movies?
A. His GHOUL friend.

Q. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?
A. Dead ringers.

Q. What happens when a ghost haunts a theatre?
A. The actors get stage fright.

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. "You are my sunshine!"

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
A. Puffy!

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster.

Q. Why do people like vampires so much?
A. Because they are FANGtastic!

Q. What did one casket say to the other casket?
A. "Is that you coffin?" (coughing)

Q. Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?
A. Because he had no body to go with.

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away her W.

Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy?
A. Either a flying bandage or a gift wrapped bat!

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Jokes

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

... more Halloween fun.

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