Squigly Jokes and Riddles

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Halloween Jokes for Kids

Spooktacular Halloween jokes!

Read our collection of spook-tacular halloween jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Halloween jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about skeletons, ghouls, vampires, ghosts, and everything Halloween! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.

Q. Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?
A. Frankenstein because Dracula sucks.

Q. What do you call two witches that live together?
A. Broom mates.

Q. Why doesn't a witch wear a flat hat?
A. Because there's no point in it!

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the store?
A. To get some spare ribs.

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. What do skeletons say at the front door?
A. "Crick or creak!"

Q. Why did the ghost bring toilet paper to the party?
A. Because he was a party pooper.

Q. What did one casket say to the other casket?
A. "Is that you coffin?" (coughing)

Q. What do ghosts wear on their feet?
A. BOOts.

Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
A. MONSTERizer!

Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.

Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?
A. Ghoul-aid!

Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.

Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A. Any old girl he can dig up.

Q. What is a mummy's favorite kind of music?
A. Rap!

Q. What did the ghost say when it sneezed?
A. "Ahh BOO!"

Q. What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A. "I love BOO!"

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. Why can't Dracula play baseball?
A. He lost his bat.

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. Why don't skeletons fight?
A. Because they don't have the guts!

Q. Why do people like vampires so much?
A. Because they are FANGtastic!

Q. What street does a vampire live on?
A. A dead end!

Q. What do witches call for in a hotel room?
A. Broom service.

Q. What does Dracula say when he doesn't have good news?
A. "I have BAT news, everyone!"

Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!

Q. What is a hotdog's favorite phrase?
A. Happy HalloWEINIE!

Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!

Q. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
A. A plumpkin!

Q. Why did the vampire give up acting?
A. Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.

Q. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne!

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What did the vampire say to his wife?
A. "Your neck looks slimmer."

Q. What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?
A. A wide scream TV.

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Riddles continue below video…

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?
A. Because he had no body to go with.

Q. Where does a vampire keep his money?
A. In a blood bank.

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A. To get a spare rib .

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. You are dreaming. A monster comes up to you and takes you away. He puts you in an oven and turns it on. Any moment he will be eating you. What should you do?
A. Pinch yourself.

Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
A. Shocking.

Q. What happens when a ghost haunts a theatre?
A. The actors get stage fright.

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A. The trombone.

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. What does a bird say on Halloween?
A. Twick or tweet!

Q. What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
A. A flying Band-Aid.

Q. Why didn't the mummy answer the phone?
A. He was all tied up!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. Did you hear about the skeleton and his girlfriend?
A. They broke up and he was shattered!

Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away her W.

Q. What did the vampire bring to the baseball field?
A. His bats!

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. What do you call a nervous witch?
A. A twitch.

Q. When do vampires like horse racing?
A. When it's neck and neck!

Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.

Q. Who did Dracula bring to the prom?
A. His ghoul friend.

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!

Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other.

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. What did the little ghost say to his mom?
A. "I've got a boo boo."

Q. Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?
A. To the living room!

Q. Where did the ghost go on vacation?
A. The BOO-hamas!

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?
A. Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!

Q. Why are ghosts always hungry?
A. Because the food goes right through them!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Jokes

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

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