Read our collection of spook-tacular halloween jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Halloween jokes and riddles for kids by kids.
Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about skeletons, ghouls, vampires, ghosts, and everything Halloween! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D
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Q. Where is the zombie's favorite room in the house?
A. The living room.
Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.
Q. What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth cleaned?
A. The dentist.
Q. Why can't Dracula play baseball?
A. He lost his bat.
Q. Why didn't the mummy answer the phone?
A. He was all tied up!
Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!
Q. What time is it when you see costumes, a house, candy and hear trick-or-treat?
Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!
Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.
Q. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A. "Long time no see."
Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A. To get a spare rib .
Q. What did one casket say to the other casket?
A. "Is that you coffin?" (coughing)
Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!
Q. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
A. A plumpkin!
Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster.
Q. What did the ghost say when it sneezed?
A. "Ahh BOO!"
Q. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A. A pumpkin patch.
Q. What did the little ghost say to his mom?
A. "I've got a boo boo."
Q. What do witches call for in a hotel room?
A. Broom service.
Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.
Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!
Q. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A. Because you can see right through him.
Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!
Q. What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
A. "Let's get glowing."
Q. What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A. "I love BOO!"
Q. Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game?
A. Because they couldn't find their bats.
Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!
Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.
Q. What does a panda ghost eat?
Q. What monster wears the most clothes?
A. A werewolf!
Q. Where did the ghosts go for vacation?
Q. Who did Dracula bring to the prom?
A. His ghoul friend.
Q. Why do people like vampires so much?
A. Because they are FANGtastic!
Q. Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?
A. Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!
Q. What did the vampire say to his wife?
A. "Your neck looks slimmer."
Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other.
Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!
Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
Q. What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
Q. What do skeletons say at the front door?
A. "Crick or creak!"
Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he had no guts.
Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!
Q. Where did the ghost go on vacation?
A. The BOO-hamas!
Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."
Q. What did the vampire bring to the baseball field?
A. His bats!
Q. Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?
A. He had no body to dance with!
Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.
Q. Why did the vampire give up acting?
A. Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.
Q. Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?
A. Frankenstein because Dracula sucks.
Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.
Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!
Q. What is a hotdog's favorite phrase?
A. Happy HalloWEINIE!
Q. What does a ghost call his mom and dad?
A. His transparents.
Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.
Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!
Q. What do you read on Halloween?
Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!
Q. What room can't ghosts go in?
A. The LIVING room!
Q. What does a wolf say on Halloween?
A. "Happy HOWLoween!"
Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.
Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!
Q. What did the witch say when she fell in the moat?
A. "My eels are killing me!"
Q. Why don't skeletons play music in church?
A. They have no organs.
Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.
Q. Why did Dracula go to the library?
A. He wanted a good book to sink his teeth into!
Q. Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A. A scare centre!
Q. Who won the zombie war?
A. Nobody, it was dead even.
Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!
Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.
Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Q. Why didn't the ghost go boo?
A. Because it had no guts.
Q. Did you hear about the skeleton and his girlfriend?
A. They broke up and he was shattered!
Knock knock Jokes
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.
Ivana suck your blood.
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!
Didn't mean to scare you!
A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.
Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
... more Halloween fun.
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