Read our collection of spook-tacular halloween jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Halloween jokes and riddles for kids by kids.
Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about skeletons, ghouls, vampires, ghosts, and everything Halloween! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D
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Q. What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
A. "Let's get glowing."
Q. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A. A crummy mummy.
Q. Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
Q. Why don't skeletons fight?
A. Because they don't have the guts!
Q. How do you make a skeleton laugh?
A. Tickle its funnybone!
Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"
Q. Why did the vampire give up acting?
A. Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.
Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster.
Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.
Q. What did one casket say to the other casket?
A. "Is that you coffin?" (coughing)
Q. Why did the mummy get a headache?
A. Because he was GOBLIN his candy!
Q. Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game?
A. Because they couldn't find their bats.
Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.
Q. Why was Dracula put in jail?
A. He tried to rob a blood bank.
Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"
Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!
Q. Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?
A. Frankenstein because Dracula sucks.
Q. Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?
A. Because he had no body to go with.
Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other.
Q. Why did the skeleton go to the store?
A. To get some spare ribs.
Q. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?
A. Dead ringers.
Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.
Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!
Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
Q. What is a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A. The trombone.
Q. What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?
A. Lazy bones!
Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
Q. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
A. A plumpkin!
Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!
Q. What did the vampire bring to the baseball field?
A. His bats!
Q. What do you call two witches who share a broom?
A. Broom mates.
Q. What do you call a nervous witch?
A. A twitch.
Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!
Q. Why couldn't the skeleton laugh?
A. Because he lost his funny bone.
Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.
Q. What does a panda ghost eat?
Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.
Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.
Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.
Q. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A. A pumpkin patch.
Q. What did the ghost say when it sneezed?
A. "Ahh BOO!"
Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.
Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.
Q. What does Dracula say when he doesn't have good news?
A. "I have BAT news, everyone!"
Q. What is a hotdog's favorite phrase?
A. Happy HalloWEINIE!
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
Q. Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?
A. To the living room!
Q. Why did the ghost bring toilet paper to the party?
A. Because he was a party pooper.
Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!
Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
Q. What games do bats like to play on Halloween?
A. Anything with a ball.
Q. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne!
Q. What do you call a pig dressed as Frankenstein?
Q. What does a ghost call his mom and dad?
A. His transparents.
Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!
Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!
Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A. Any old girl he can dig up.
Q. What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
A. A flying Band-Aid.
Q. What street does a vampire live on?
A. A dead end!
Q. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A. "Spook when you're spooken to."
Q. You are dreaming. A monster comes up to you and takes you away. He puts you in an oven and turns it on. Any moment he will be eating you. What should you do?
A. Pinch yourself.
Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A. To get a spare rib .
Q. What happens when a ghost haunts a theatre?
A. The actors get stage fright.
Q. What did the skeleton order with his drink?
A. A mop.
Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
Q. What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.
Q. What monster wears the most clothes?
A. A werewolf!
Q. What did the little ghost say to his mom?
A. "I've got a boo boo."
Q. Where did the mother monster put her child when she was at work?
A. At day-SCARE!
Knock knock Jokes
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.
Ivana suck your blood.
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!
Didn't mean to scare you!
A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.
Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
... more Halloween fun.
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