Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Seasons & Holidays > Halloween Activities > Jokes & Riddles > Halloween

Halloween Jokes for Kids

Spooktacular Halloween jokes!

Read our collection of spook-tacular halloween jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Halloween jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about skeletons, ghouls, vampires, ghosts, and everything Halloween! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!

Q. Where did the ghost go on vacation?
A. The BOO-hamas!

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. Who did Dracula take to the movies?
A. His GHOUL friend.

Q. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?
A. Dead ringers.

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
A. A plumpkin!

Q. What do ghosts wear on their feet?
A. BOOts.

Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
A. Pi.

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!

Q. What happens when a ghost haunts a theatre?
A. The actors get stage fright.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!

Q. What do you do when you see a ghost?
A. Run away of course!

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A. To get a spare rib .

Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
A. MONSTERizer!

Q. Did you hear about the skeleton and his girlfriend?
A. They broke up and he was shattered!

Q. Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?
A. He had no body to dance with!

Q. Why can't Dracula play baseball?
A. He lost his bat.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. Where do ghosts get their mail?
A. At the ghost office.

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. Who won the zombie war?
A. Nobody, it was dead even.

Q. What do you call two witches that live together?
A. Broom mates.

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. What time is it when you see costumes, a house, candy and hear trick-or-treat?
A. Halloween!

Q. What does a wolf say on Halloween?
A. "Happy HOWLoween!"

Q. What do skeletons say at the front door?
A. "Crick or creak!"

Q. Where does a vampire keep his money?
A. In a blood bank.

Q. Why did the ghost bring toilet paper to the party?
A. Because he was a party pooper.

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. How do phantoms travel?
A. Ghost to ghost.

Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster.

Q. Why don't skeletons fight?
A. Because they don't have the guts!

Riddles continue below video…

Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy?
A. Either a flying bandage or a gift wrapped bat!

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. What did the ghost say when it sneezed?
A. "Ahh BOO!"

Q. What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?
A. Lazy bones!

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. What games do bats like to play on Halloween?
A. Anything with a ball.

Q. Why didn't the mummy answer the phone?
A. He was all tied up!

Q. Why did the vampire give up acting?
A. Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.

Q. Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?
A. Frankenstein because Dracula sucks.

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
A. MaliBOO!

Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other.

Q. What does a ghost keep in its stable?
A. Nightmares.

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite drink?
A. Milk, it's white and good for your bones.

Q. What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth cleaned?
A. The dentist.

Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away her W.

Q. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A. Because you can see right through him.

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A. The trombone.

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!

Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A. Any old girl he can dig up.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A. A pumpkin patch.

Q. What did the little ghost say to his mom?
A. "I've got a boo boo."

Q. What does a ghost call his mom and dad?
A. His transparents.

Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Q. What is worse than being a three hundred pound witch?
A. Being her broom.

Q. What is a mummy's favorite kind of music?
A. Rap!

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Q. What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
A. Puffy!

Q. What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A. "I love BOO!"

Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!

Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.

Q. Where did the mother monster put her child when she was at work?
A. At day-SCARE!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Jokes

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

... more Halloween fun.

Riddles | Knock-Knock Jokes | Jokes
Animal Jokes | Banana Jokes | Cat Jokes | Chicken Jokes | Computer Jokes | Dinosaur Jokes
Doctor Jokes | Dog Jokes | Elephant Jokes | Food Jokes | Insect Jokes | Movie Jokes
Music Jokes | Outer Space Jokes | School Jokes | Sports Jokes
Christmas Jokes | Easter Jokes | Halloween Jokes | St. Patrick's Day Jokes | Thanksgiving Jokes | Valentine Jokes | Winter Jokes