Read our collection of spook-tacular halloween jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Halloween jokes and riddles for kids by kids.
Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about skeletons, ghouls, vampires, ghosts, and everything Halloween! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D
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Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!
Q. Where did the ghosts go for vacation?
Q. Why did the mummy get a headache?
A. Because he was GOBLIN his candy!
Q. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A. A crummy mummy.
Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"
Q. What did the vampire say to his wife?
A. "Your neck looks slimmer."
Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."
Q. What did one casket say to the other casket?
A. "Is that you coffin?" (coughing)
Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!
Q. What do skeletons say at the front door?
A. "Crick or creak!"
Q. Where is the zombie's favorite room in the house?
A. The living room.
Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!
Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!
Q. Did you hear about the skeleton and his girlfriend?
A. They broke up and he was shattered!
Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.
Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.
Q. What did the skeleton order with his drink?
A. A mop.
Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!
Q. What pants do ghosts wear?
A. BOO jeans.
Q. What did the little ghost say to his mom?
A. "I've got a boo boo."
Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A. To get a spare rib .
Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.
Q. Why didn't the ghost go boo?
A. Because it had no guts.
Q. How do you make a skeleton laugh?
A. Tickle its funnybone!
Q. What is worse than being a three hundred pound witch?
A. Being her broom.
Q. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne!
Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!
Q. What do you call a nervous witch?
A. A twitch.
Q. When do vampires like horse racing?
A. When it's neck and neck!
Q. Why was Dracula put in jail?
A. He tried to rob a blood bank.
Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!
Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!
Q. Why did Dracula go to the library?
A. He wanted a good book to sink his teeth into!
Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.
Q. Why did the vampire give up acting?
A. Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.
Q. What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
A. "Let's get glowing."
Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.
Q. Where do ghosts get their mail?
A. At the ghost office.
Q. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A. Because you can see right through him.
Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
Q. What does a wolf say on Halloween?
A. "Happy HOWLoween!"
Q. What do you call two witches that live together?
A. Broom mates.
Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.
Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!
Q. Why are ghosts always hungry?
A. Because the food goes right through them!
Q. What does a ghost keep in its stable?
Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.
Q. Who did Dracula bring to the prom?
A. His ghoul friend.
Q. Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?
A. He had no body to dance with!
Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."
Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on?
Q. What does a bird say on Halloween?
A. Twick or tweet!
Q. Why did the ghost bring toilet paper to the party?
A. Because he was a party pooper.
Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away her W.
Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he had no guts.
Q. Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?
A. To the living room!
Q. Why didn't the mummy answer the phone?
A. He was all tied up!
Q. What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A. "I love BOO!"
Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
Q. Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?
A. Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!
Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other.
Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.
Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!
Q. Why can't Dracula play baseball?
A. He lost his bat.
Q. Where did the mother monster put her child when she was at work?
A. At day-SCARE!
Q. What does Dracula say when he doesn't have good news?
A. "I have BAT news, everyone!"
Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
Q. What do you do when you see a ghost?
A. Run away of course!
Q. Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?
A. Frankenstein because Dracula sucks.
Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.
Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.
Q. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A. "Spook when you're spooken to."
Q. What key opens a Haunted House?
A. A spooKEY!
Q. What room can't ghosts go in?
A. The LIVING room!
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.
Ivana suck your blood.
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!
Didn't mean to scare you!
A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.
Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
... more Halloween fun.
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