Squigly Jokes and Riddles

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Halloween Jokes for Kids

Spooktacular Halloween jokes!

Read our collection of spook-tacular halloween jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Halloween jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about skeletons, ghouls, vampires, ghosts, and everything Halloween! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What is a mummy's favorite kind of music?
A. Rap!

Q. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A. A pumpkin patch.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. Why didn't the mummy answer the phone?
A. He was all tied up!

Q. What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?
A. A cab.

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A. To get a spare rib .

Q. Why did Dracula go to the library?
A. He wanted a good book to sink his teeth into!

Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. What did the ghost say when it sneezed?
A. "Ahh BOO!"

Q. Why don't skeletons fight?
A. Because they don't have the guts!

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. What does a ghost keep in its stable?
A. Nightmares.

Q. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A. Because you can see right through him.

Q. What do you call two witches that live together?
A. Broom mates.

Q. What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
A. "Let's get glowing."

Q. What key opens a Haunted House?
A. A spooKEY!

Q. What do you do when you see a ghost?
A. Run away of course!

Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
A. Shocking.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost and a goblin?
A. I don't know, but it doesn't sound good to me!

Q. Who won the zombie war?
A. Nobody, it was dead even.

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!

Q. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A. "Spook when you're spooken to."

Q. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A. "Long time no see."

Q. Where is the zombie's favorite room in the house?
A. The living room.

Q. How do phantoms travel?
A. Ghost to ghost.

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite drink?
A. Milk, it's white and good for your bones.

Q. What is worse than being a three hundred pound witch?
A. Being her broom.

Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
A. MONSTERizer!

Q. What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?
A. Lazy bones!

Q. Where did the ghosts go for vacation?
A. Mali-BOO.

Q. What room can't ghosts go in?
A. The LIVING room!

Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.

Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!

Q. What do witches call for in a hotel room?
A. Broom service.

Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.

Q. Where does a vampire keep his money?
A. In a blood bank.

Riddles continue below video…

Q. Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A. A scare centre!

Q. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A. A crummy mummy.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he had no guts.

Q. Why did the ghost bring toilet paper to the party?
A. Because he was a party pooper.

Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!

Q. What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
A. A flying Band-Aid.

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Q. What did the little ghost say to his mom?
A. "I've got a boo boo."

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. Who did Dracula take to the movies?
A. His GHOUL friend.

Q. Why don't skeletons play music in church?
A. They have no organs.

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. "You are my sunshine!"

Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other.

Q. Why did the mummy get a headache?
A. Because he was GOBLIN his candy!

Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!

Q. What do you call a pig dressed as Frankenstein?
A. FrankenSWINE.

Q. What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
A. Puffy!

Q. Why are ghosts always hungry?
A. Because the food goes right through them!

Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on?
A. Dead-ends.

Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.

Q. What did the vampire say to his wife?
A. "Your neck looks slimmer."

Q. What do you read on Halloween?
A. BOO-ks

Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!

Q. Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?
A. Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!

Q. Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?
A. To the living room!

Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Q. What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth cleaned?
A. The dentist.

Q. What did one casket say to the other casket?
A. "Is that you coffin?" (coughing)

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. What is a hotdog's favorite phrase?
A. Happy HalloWEINIE!

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. Why do people like vampires so much?
A. Because they are FANGtastic!

Q. What does a bird say on Halloween?
A. Twick or tweet!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Jokes

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

... more Halloween fun.

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