Squigly Jokes and Riddles

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Halloween Jokes for Kids

Spooktacular Halloween jokes!

Read our collection of spook-tacular halloween jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Halloween jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about skeletons, ghouls, vampires, ghosts, and everything Halloween! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. Where did the ghost go on vacation?
A. The BOO-hamas!

Q. What is a hotdog's favorite phrase?
A. Happy HalloWEINIE!

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
A. Puffy!

Q. Did you hear about the skeleton and his girlfriend?
A. They broke up and he was shattered!

Q. What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?
A. A cab.

Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other.

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A. A crummy mummy.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?
A. Because he had no body to go with.

Q. What do you call a nervous witch?
A. A twitch.

Q. Where did the mother monster put her child when she was at work?
A. At day-SCARE!

Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!

Q. What did the skeleton order with his drink?
A. A mop.

Q. What does a ghost call his mom and dad?
A. His transparents.

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. What do witches call for in a hotel room?
A. Broom service.

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. "You are my sunshine!"

Q. You are dreaming. A monster comes up to you and takes you away. He puts you in an oven and turns it on. Any moment he will be eating you. What should you do?
A. Pinch yourself.

Q. What did the little ghost say to his mom?
A. "I've got a boo boo."

Q. What monster wears the most clothes?
A. A werewolf!

Q. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A. A pumpkin patch.

Q. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A. "Spook when you're spooken to."

Q. Why did the ghost bring toilet paper to the party?
A. Because he was a party pooper.

Q. Why did the mummy get a headache?
A. Because he was GOBLIN his candy!

Q. What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
A. "Let's get glowing."

Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. Why did the ghost join the team?
A. They needed more spirit!

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
A. Pi.

Q. What key opens a Haunted House?
A. A spooKEY!

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. Why doesn't a witch wear a flat hat?
A. Because there's no point in it!

Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!

Riddles continue below video…

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. What do you call two witches that live together?
A. Broom mates.

Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster.

Q. Why can't Dracula play baseball?
A. He lost his bat.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
A. Boo!

Q. When do vampires like horse racing?
A. When it's neck and neck!

Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
A. Shocking.

Q. Who did Dracula bring to the prom?
A. His ghoul friend.

Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy?
A. Either a flying bandage or a gift wrapped bat!

Q. What did the vampire say to his wife?
A. "Your neck looks slimmer."

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!

Q. What does Dracula say when he doesn't have good news?
A. "I have BAT news, everyone!"

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the store?
A. To get some spare ribs.

Q. What does a panda ghost eat?
A. Bam-BOO!

Q. Why did the vampire give up acting?
A. Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.

Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost and a goblin?
A. I don't know, but it doesn't sound good to me!

Q. What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?
A. A wide scream TV.

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite drink?
A. Milk, it's white and good for your bones.

Q. What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
A. A flying Band-Aid.

Q. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A. "Long time no see."

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A. Because you can see right through him.

Q. Why don't skeletons fight?
A. Because they don't have the guts!

Q. What is the problem with two twin witches?
A. You never know which witch is which!

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!

Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?
A. Ghoul-aid!

Q. What pants do ghosts wear?
A. BOO jeans.

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?
A. He had no body to dance with!

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he had no guts.

Q. Who won the zombie war?
A. Nobody, it was dead even.

Q. Who did Dracula take to the movies?
A. His GHOUL friend.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Jokes

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

... more Halloween fun.

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