Squigly Jokes and Riddles

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Halloween Jokes for Kids

Spooktacular Halloween jokes!

Read our collection of spook-tacular halloween jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Halloween jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about skeletons, ghouls, vampires, ghosts, and everything Halloween! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A. "Spook when you're spooken to."

Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.

Q. Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?
A. Frankenstein because Dracula sucks.

Q. What did the vampire say to his wife?
A. "Your neck looks slimmer."

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. What did the skeleton order with his drink?
A. A mop.

Q. Where is the zombie's favorite room in the house?
A. The living room.

Q. What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
A. Puffy!

Q. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A. "Long time no see."

Q. When do vampires like horse racing?
A. When it's neck and neck!

Q. What did the witch say when she fell in the moat?
A. "My eels are killing me!"

Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
A. Shocking.

Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. What does Dracula say when he doesn't have good news?
A. "I have BAT news, everyone!"

Q. Where did the ghosts go for vacation?
A. Mali-BOO.

Q. Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?
A. To the living room!

Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.

Q. What games do bats like to play on Halloween?
A. Anything with a ball.

Q. What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?
A. Lazy bones!

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. What did the little ghost say to his mom?
A. "I've got a boo boo."

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
A. "Let's get glowing."

Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!

Q. How do you make a skeleton laugh?
A. Tickle its funnybone!

Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!

Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!

Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!

Q. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?
A. Dead ringers.

Q. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
A. A plumpkin!

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. What do you read on Halloween?
A. BOO-ks

Q. What monster wears the most clothes?
A. A werewolf!

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Riddles continue below video…

Q. What is a hotdog's favorite phrase?
A. Happy HalloWEINIE!

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. Who did Dracula bring to the prom?
A. His ghoul friend.

Q. Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?
A. Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!

Q. What do witches call for in a hotel room?
A. Broom service.

Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. SPOOKgetti!

Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?
A. Ghoul-aid!

Q. What pants do ghosts wear?
A. BOO jeans.

Q. What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A. "I love BOO!"

Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Q. What is worse than being a three hundred pound witch?
A. Being her broom.

Q. What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth cleaned?
A. The dentist.

Q. Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game?
A. Because they couldn't find their bats.

Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on?
A. Dead-ends.

Q. Why did the ghost bring toilet paper to the party?
A. Because he was a party pooper.

Q. What street does a vampire live on?
A. A dead end!

Q. What key opens a Haunted House?
A. A spooKEY!

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other.

Q. Why did the mummy get a headache?
A. Because he was GOBLIN his candy!

Q. Why was Dracula put in jail?
A. He tried to rob a blood bank.

Q. What time is it when you see costumes, a house, candy and hear trick-or-treat?
A. Halloween!

Q. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A. A crummy mummy.

Q. What do ghosts wear on their feet?
A. BOOts.

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A. To get a spare rib .

Q. Why do people like vampires so much?
A. Because they are FANGtastic!

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. "You are my sunshine!"

Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
A. MONSTERizer!

Q. What is the problem with two twin witches?
A. You never know which witch is which!

Q. What does a ghost keep in its stable?
A. Nightmares.

Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!

Q. What do you call two witches who share a broom?
A. Broom mates.

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?
A. He had no body to dance with!

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Jokes

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

... more Halloween fun.

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