Squigly Jokes and Riddles

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Halloween Jokes for Kids

Spooktacular Halloween jokes!

Read our collection of spook-tacular halloween jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Halloween jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about skeletons, ghouls, vampires, ghosts, and everything Halloween! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!

Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?
A. Ghoul-aid!

Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!

Q. What did the skeleton order with his drink?
A. A mop.

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. What is worse than being a three hundred pound witch?
A. Being her broom.

Q. What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth cleaned?
A. The dentist.

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. What do you call two witches who share a broom?
A. Broom mates.

Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!

Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy?
A. Either a flying bandage or a gift wrapped bat!

Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster.

Q. What do witches call for in a hotel room?
A. Broom service.

Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Q. Why do people like vampires so much?
A. Because they are FANGtastic!

Q. What did the little ghost say to his mom?
A. "I've got a boo boo."

Q. What is the problem with two twin witches?
A. You never know which witch is which!

Q. Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?
A. Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!

Q. Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game?
A. Because they couldn't find their bats.

Q. Why was Dracula put in jail?
A. He tried to rob a blood bank.

Q. Who did Dracula take to the movies?
A. His GHOUL friend.

Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!

Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
A. Shocking.

Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What did the vampire say to his wife?
A. "Your neck looks slimmer."

Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on?
A. Dead-ends.

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!

Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne!

Q. Why did the vampire give up acting?
A. Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.

Q. What did one casket say to the other casket?
A. "Is that you coffin?" (coughing)

Q. Why are ghosts always hungry?
A. Because the food goes right through them!

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Riddles continue below video…

Q. What do you call two witches that live together?
A. Broom mates.

Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A. The trombone.

Q. What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?
A. A cab.

Q. What does Dracula say when he doesn't have good news?
A. "I have BAT news, everyone!"

Q. What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
A. A flying Band-Aid.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. What happens when a ghost haunts a theatre?
A. The actors get stage fright.

Q. What is a mummy's favorite kind of music?
A. Rap!

Q. What do you call a nervous witch?
A. A twitch.

Q. Where do ghosts get their mail?
A. At the ghost office.

Q. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A. "Long time no see."

Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. SPOOKgetti!

Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Q. Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?
A. He had no body to dance with!

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Q. Where did the ghost go on vacation?
A. The BOO-hamas!

Q. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A. Because you can see right through him.

Q. Why couldn't the skeleton laugh?
A. Because he lost his funny bone.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
A. Boo!

Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
A. Pi.

Q. Where did the mother monster put her child when she was at work?
A. At day-SCARE!

Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.

Q. Did you hear about the skeleton and his girlfriend?
A. They broke up and he was shattered!

Q. What is a hotdog's favorite phrase?
A. Happy HalloWEINIE!

Q. You are dreaming. A monster comes up to you and takes you away. He puts you in an oven and turns it on. Any moment he will be eating you. What should you do?
A. Pinch yourself.

Q. What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?
A. Lazy bones!

Q. What pants do ghosts wear?
A. BOO jeans.

Q. What does a bird say on Halloween?
A. Twick or tweet!

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. What games do bats like to play on Halloween?
A. Anything with a ball.

Q. What does a ghost keep in its stable?
A. Nightmares.

Q. What monster wears the most clothes?
A. A werewolf!

Q. What time is it when you see costumes, a house, candy and hear trick-or-treat?
A. Halloween!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Jokes

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

... more Halloween fun.

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