Squigly Jokes and Riddles

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Halloween Jokes for Kids

Spooktacular Halloween jokes!

Read our collection of spook-tacular halloween jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Halloween jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about skeletons, ghouls, vampires, ghosts, and everything Halloween! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
A. Puffy!

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?
A. Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!

Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he had no guts.

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. SPOOKgetti!

Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!

Q. What do you call a nervous witch?
A. A twitch.

Q. What pants do ghosts wear?
A. BOO jeans.

Q. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A. A pumpkin patch.

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. You are dreaming. A monster comes up to you and takes you away. He puts you in an oven and turns it on. Any moment he will be eating you. What should you do?
A. Pinch yourself.

Q. What do you call a pig dressed as Frankenstein?
A. FrankenSWINE.

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.

Q. What happens when a ghost haunts a theatre?
A. The actors get stage fright.

Q. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A. Because you can see right through him.

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
A. Pi.

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
A. MONSTERizer!

Q. Why did the mummy get a headache?
A. Because he was GOBLIN his candy!

Q. What does a wolf say on Halloween?
A. "Happy HOWLoween!"

Q. What do you do when you see a ghost?
A. Run away of course!

Q. What did the little ghost say to his mom?
A. "I've got a boo boo."

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. What did one casket say to the other casket?
A. "Is that you coffin?" (coughing)

Q. Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
A. MaliBOO!

Q. What monster wears the most clothes?
A. A werewolf!

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. What does a ghost call his mom and dad?
A. His transparents.

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Riddles continue below video…

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?
A. A wide scream TV.

Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.

Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Q. Why don't skeletons fight?
A. Because they don't have the guts!

Q. What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth cleaned?
A. The dentist.

Q. What street does a vampire live on?
A. A dead end!

Q. Why didn't the mummy answer the phone?
A. He was all tied up!

Q. How do you make a skeleton laugh?
A. Tickle its funnybone!

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. What do witches call for in a hotel room?
A. Broom service.

Q. What do you call two witches who share a broom?
A. Broom mates.

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. How do phantoms travel?
A. Ghost to ghost.

Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?
A. Ghoul-aid!

Q. What did the ghost say when it sneezed?
A. "Ahh BOO!"

Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.

Q. What key opens a Haunted House?
A. A spooKEY!

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.

Q. What did the witch say when she fell in the moat?
A. "My eels are killing me!"

Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.

Q. When do vampires like horse racing?
A. When it's neck and neck!

Q. Why don't skeletons play music in church?
A. They have no organs.

Q. Where did the ghosts go for vacation?
A. Mali-BOO.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A. A scare centre!

Q. Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?
A. Frankenstein because Dracula sucks.

Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost and a goblin?
A. I don't know, but it doesn't sound good to me!

Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
A. Boo!

Q. Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?
A. Because he had no body to go with.

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite drink?
A. Milk, it's white and good for your bones.

Q. Did you hear about the skeleton and his girlfriend?
A. They broke up and he was shattered!

Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!

Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Q. What did the vampire bring to the baseball field?
A. His bats!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Jokes

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

... more Halloween fun.

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