Squigly Jokes and Riddles

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Halloween Jokes for Kids

Spooktacular Halloween jokes!

Read our collection of spook-tacular halloween jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Halloween jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about skeletons, ghouls, vampires, ghosts, and everything Halloween! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
A. "Let's get glowing."

Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A. Any old girl he can dig up.

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. Who won the zombie war?
A. Nobody, it was dead even.

Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.

Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.

Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on?
A. Dead-ends.

Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!

Q. Why doesn't a witch wear a flat hat?
A. Because there's no point in it!

Q. What key opens a Haunted House?
A. A spooKEY!

Q. What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?
A. Lazy bones!

Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!

Q. Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
A. MaliBOO!

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the store?
A. To get some spare ribs.

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Q. Who did Dracula take to the movies?
A. His GHOUL friend.

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. What does a bird say on Halloween?
A. Twick or tweet!

Q. Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game?
A. Because they couldn't find their bats.

Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. SPOOKgetti!

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. Why don't skeletons play music in church?
A. They have no organs.

Q. Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A. A scare centre!

Q. What does a panda ghost eat?
A. Bam-BOO!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.

Q. What do you do when you see a ghost?
A. Run away of course!

Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away her W.

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost and a goblin?
A. I don't know, but it doesn't sound good to me!

Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he had no guts.

Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster.

Riddles continue below video…

Q. What do you call two witches who share a broom?
A. Broom mates.

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. What is worse than being a three hundred pound witch?
A. Being her broom.

Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy?
A. Either a flying bandage or a gift wrapped bat!

Q. What did the vampire say to his wife?
A. "Your neck looks slimmer."

Q. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A. "Spook when you're spooken to."

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. What happens when a ghost haunts a theatre?
A. The actors get stage fright.

Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!

Q. What do witches call for in a hotel room?
A. Broom service.

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. "You are my sunshine!"

Q. What is a hotdog's favorite phrase?
A. Happy HalloWEINIE!

Q. What time is it when you see costumes, a house, candy and hear trick-or-treat?
A. Halloween!

Q. What do you call a nervous witch?
A. A twitch.

Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other.

Q. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A. "Long time no see."

Q. What games do bats like to play on Halloween?
A. Anything with a ball.

Q. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A. A pumpkin patch.

Q. Who did Dracula bring to the prom?
A. His ghoul friend.

Q. What is the problem with two twin witches?
A. You never know which witch is which!

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. What did the vampire bring to the baseball field?
A. His bats!

Q. Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?
A. Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What monster wears the most clothes?
A. A werewolf!

Q. What do you read on Halloween?
A. BOO-ks

Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?
A. Ghoul-aid!

Q. What does Dracula say when he doesn't have good news?
A. "I have BAT news, everyone!"

Q. How do you make a skeleton laugh?
A. Tickle its funnybone!

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A. To get a spare rib .

Q. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A. Because you can see right through him.

Q. Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?
A. Frankenstein because Dracula sucks.

Q. What does a ghost call his mom and dad?
A. His transparents.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
A. Boo!

Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
A. Shocking.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Jokes

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

... more Halloween fun.

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