Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Seasons & Holidays > Halloween Activities > Jokes & Riddles > Halloween

Halloween Jokes for Kids

Spooktacular Halloween jokes!

Read our collection of spook-tacular halloween jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Halloween jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about skeletons, ghouls, vampires, ghosts, and everything Halloween! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
A. Puffy!

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. Where did the ghost go on vacation?
A. The BOO-hamas!

Q. What did the vampire bring to the baseball field?
A. His bats!

Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!

Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. What do you do when you see a ghost?
A. Run away of course!

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.

Q. What do ghosts wear on their feet?
A. BOOts.

Q. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A. A pumpkin patch.

Q. What do you call two witches who share a broom?
A. Broom mates.

Q. What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?
A. A cab.

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A. To get a spare rib .

Q. Why doesn't a witch wear a flat hat?
A. Because there's no point in it!

Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Q. What monster wears the most clothes?
A. A werewolf!

Q. What do skeletons say at the front door?
A. "Crick or creak!"

Q. Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game?
A. Because they couldn't find their bats.

Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away her W.

Q. What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
A. A flying Band-Aid.

Q. Why did the ghost join the team?
A. They needed more spirit!

Q. What is a hotdog's favorite phrase?
A. Happy HalloWEINIE!

Q. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne!

Q. What did the ghost say when it sneezed?
A. "Ahh BOO!"

Q. What does a bird say on Halloween?
A. Twick or tweet!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Jokes

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

To see more Halloween jokes just reload the page!

... more Halloween fun.

Riddles | Knock-Knock Jokes | Jokes
Animal Jokes | Banana Jokes | Cat Jokes | Chicken Jokes | Computer Jokes | Dinosaur Jokes
Doctor Jokes | Dog Jokes | Elephant Jokes | Food Jokes | Insect Jokes | Movie Jokes
Music Jokes | Outer Space Jokes | School Jokes | Sports Jokes
Christmas Jokes | Easter Jokes | Halloween Jokes | St. Patrick's Day Jokes | Thanksgiving Jokes | Valentine Jokes | Winter Jokes