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Funny dog jokes for Kids

Dog Jokes for Kids

Read our collection of funny dog jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Dog jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.

Q. Why shouldn't you go outside if it's raining cats and dogs?
A. Because you might step in a poodle!

Q. What do dogs eat for breakfast?
A. POOCHed eggs and BARKen.

Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A. A rocker spaniel.

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
A. Achoowawa!

Q. What do you call a dog who wins a race?
A. A weiner.

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. Why are skeletons afraid of dogs?
A. Because dogs love bones!

Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. Because he was chasing the chicken.

Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog and a rose?
A. A collie-flower!

Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Where won't you find a dog shopping?
A. At the flea market!

Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. What dog can jump higher than a building?
A. Any dog because buildings can't jump.

Q. Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
A. Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.

Q. If H20 is inside of the fire hydrant, what's on the outside?
A. K9P.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog with a valentine card?
A. A card that says, "I love you drool-ly"!

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
How
How who?
How will we get away from that mean dog?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Puppy
Puppy who?
Puppy love!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me, honey!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dash
Dash who?
Daschund!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Bow
Bow who?
Not bow who, bow wow!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ken
Ken who?
Ken you walk the dog for me?

Jokes

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

Bob: I lost my dog today.
Bill: So put an ad in the paper.
Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

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