Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Christmas

Funny Christmas jokes for kids by kids!

Christmas Jokes and Riddles

Christmas jokes and riddles for kids by kids. Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigly's jokes! Holiday riddles for everyone! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. They have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.

Q. How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A. You can sense his presents.

Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.

Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!

Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!

Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!

Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
A. Snow.

Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.

Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!

Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!

Q. Why were the kids afraid of Christmas?
A. Because of Santa Claws!

Q. What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A. A list of everything you want!

Riddles continue below video…

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.

Q. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A. Nothing, reindeer can't talk.

Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. How do you know Santa is good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!

Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!

Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."

Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.

Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...

Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
A. Tinsilitis!

Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men would stand out in the snow without a coat.

Q. What is the cleanest reindeer called?
A. Comet.

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Jokes

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

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