Christmas jokes and riddles for kids by kids. Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigly's jokes! Holiday riddles for everyone! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Christmas. They have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you laugh out loud! :D
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Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.
Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!
Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."
Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.
Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!
Q. What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A. A list of everything you want!
Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."
Q. Who is Frosty's favorite aunt?
A. Aunt Artica!
Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.
Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men would stand out in the snow without a coat.
Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!
Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!
Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"
Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.
Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.
Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!
Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!
Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!
Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.
Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. What is big, red and flies in the sky?
A. Santa Claus.
Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.
Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.
Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed Krabby Patty.
Q. Why does Rudolph have a red nose?
A. Because he sneezes a lot!
Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!
Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!
Knock knock Jokes
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!
Irish you a Merry Christmas!
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!
Snow use. I forgot my name again!
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
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