Read our collection of funny Christmas jokes for kids that will have you laughing out loud! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Chrismtas jokes and riddles for kids by kids.
Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigly's jokes! Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D
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Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!
Q. What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A. A list of everything you want!
Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!
Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!
Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."
Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!
Q. Which elf was the best singer?
A. ELFis Presley.
Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.
Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.
Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!
Q. What's red and white, red and white, red and white?
A. Santa Claus rolling down the hill.
Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels.
Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"
Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."
Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!
Q. What is green, white, and red all over?
A. A sunburnt elf.
Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"
Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.
Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.
Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.
Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!
Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!
Q. What do you get if you cross Santa and a dog?
A. Santa Paws!
Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.
Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.
Q. What is big, red and flies in the sky?
A. Santa Claus.
Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.
Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.
Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!
Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.
Q. What is a reindeer's favorite instrument?
Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
Q. Why were the kids afraid of Christmas?
A. Because of Santa Claws!
Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.
Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!
Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!
Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!
Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.
Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!
Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."
Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.
Q. Why does Rudolph have a red nose?
A. Because he sneezes a lot!
Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men would stand out in the snow without a coat.
Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!
Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...
Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!
Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!
Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!
Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!
Q. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A. Nothing, reindeer can't talk.
Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.
Q. How do you know Santa is good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!
Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.
Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.
Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?
A. Just long enough to reach the ground!
Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.
Q. How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A. You can sense his presents.
Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.
Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.
Q. What is the cleanest reindeer called?
Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!
Q. Who is Frosty's favorite aunt?
A. Aunt Artica!
Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!
Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!
Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!
Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!
Q. What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
A. Silent Night.
Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed Krabby Patty.
Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!
Knock knock Jokes
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!
Irish you a Merry Christmas!
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!
Snow use. I forgot my name again!
The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
... more Christmas fun.
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