Read our collection of funny Christmas jokes for kids that will have you laughing out loud! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for children. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Chrismtas jokes and riddles for kids by kids.
Why was Santa late for Christmas? He couldn't stop reading Squigly's jokes! Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you and your kids laugh out loud! :D
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Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed Krabby Patty.
Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.
Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!
Q. What is green, white, and red all over?
A. A sunburnt elf.
Q. What is the cleanest reindeer called?
Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!
Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.
Q. What's red and white, red and white, red and white?
A. Santa Claus rolling down the hill.
Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.
Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!
Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."
Q. Which elf was the best singer?
A. ELFis Presley.
Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.
Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!
Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!
Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."
Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!
Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...
Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!
Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men would stand out in the snow without a coat.
Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.
Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.
Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
Q. Why does Rudolph have a red nose?
A. Because he sneezes a lot!
Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"
Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.
Q. What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
A. Silent Night.
Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!
Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.
Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.
Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."
Q. Who is Frosty's favorite aunt?
A. Aunt Artica!
Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.
Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!
Q. What do you get if you cross Santa and a dog?
A. Santa Paws!
Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.
Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.
Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!
Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.
Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!
Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.
Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!
Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.
Q. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A. Nothing, reindeer can't talk.
Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.
Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!
Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!
Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
Q. How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A. You can sense his presents.
Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!
Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!
Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!
Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.
Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.
Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!
Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"
Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.
Q. What is big, red and flies in the sky?
A. Santa Claus.
Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!
Q. What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A. A list of everything you want!
Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels.
Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
Q. What is a reindeer's favorite instrument?
Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!
Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!
Q. Why were the kids afraid of Christmas?
A. Because of Santa Claws!
Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.
Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!
Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?
A. Just long enough to reach the ground!
Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!
Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!
Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.
Knock knock Jokes
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!
Irish you a Merry Christmas!
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!
Snow use. I forgot my name again!
The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offence," said the judge.
"It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals?
Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
... more Christmas fun.
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