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Funny animal jokes for Kids

Animal Jokes for Kids

Read our collection of funny animal jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for kids. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Animal jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Why were the hyenas laughing? They were reading Squigly's jokes and riddles! These are jokes about any creature that walks, swims, crawls or flies! Animal riddles are for everyone! Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.

Q. How did the dog get splinters in his tongue?
A. He ate table scraps.

Q. What do you call a bear who forgot his socks?
A. BEARfooted.

Q. What is a cow's favourite movie?
A. Moo-lan.

Q. What do you get if you cross a porcupine and a giraffe?
A. A seven metre long toothbrush!

Q. Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?
A. MOO-tels!

Q. What do you call a dog who wins a race?
A. A weiner.

Q. When was meat so high?
A. When the cow jumped over the moon!

Q. Why didn't the bunny hop?
A. No bunny knows.

Q. What kind of shoes do mice like?
A. Squeakers!

Q. What is the difference between a cat that got photocopied and a cat that follows you?
A. One is a cat copy, the other is a copy cat.

Q. Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?
A. Because he had a big bill.

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. Why did the turtle cross the street?
A. To get to the Shell station.

Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!

Q. What kind of motorcycle does a pig drive?
A. A hog!

Q. What do mice feel like when they come out of the shower?
A. Squeaky clean!

Q. You are trapped in a room and there are 3 doors. Each door has something behind it. The first door has two hungry lions that have not eaten in four years. The second door has electric lasers all across the room. The third has three ninjas ready to attack. Which door would you pick to go through?
A. The first because the lions would be dead if they have not eaten for 4 years!

Q. What sort of appliance does a monkey use?
A. A gorilla. (A griller)

Q. What's big, grey and has red spots?
A. An elephant with chicken pox!

Q. Why didn't the squirrel cross the telephone wire?
A. Because the line was busy.

Q. What do frogs drink?
A. Croak-a-cola.

Q. What 2 animals have the same last name?
A. The donKEY and the monKEY.

Q. Why do cats always go after mice and birds?
A. Because cats like fast food.

Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.

Q. What animal should you not play cards with?
A. A Cheetah!

Q. What did the cat need when it was having trouble seeing?
A. A PURRscription!

Q. Why did the gum cross the road?
A. It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

Q. What do you call a polar bear in the desert?
A. Lost.

Q. What do you need if you see a kangaroo 20 miles away?
A. I don't know, but you sure don't need glasses.

Q. What do you call a smart pig?
A. CunningHAM!

Q. What kind of explosions do dinosaurs like?
A. DINOmite!

Q. Where do baby apes sleep?
A. In APEricots!

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. What animal has more lives than a cat?
A. A frog because it croaks every night!

Q. What did the cow say to the other cow?
A. "MOOve over!"

Q. What animal is good with tools?
A. Hammer-head shark!

Riddles continue below video…

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.

Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A. A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

Q. What do you call a bear with no ears?
A. B.

Q. What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and cuts grass?
A. A lawn MEOW-er!

Q. There are ten cats on a boat. One jumps off, how many are left?
A. None, they were all copy cats!

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?
A. The Milky Baa-r kid.

Q. What is a pampered cow?
A. Spoiled milk.

Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. A zebra with the chicken pox.

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
A. Achoowawa!

Q. What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A. Doyouthinkhesarus?

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. What is a cat's favorite color?
A. PURRple!

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No idea. (No eye deer)

Q. Why don't penguins live in Britain?
A. Because they're scared of Wales!

Q. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A. An investiGATOR!

Q. What is grey, has a tail and a trunk?
A. A mouse going on a vacation.

Q. What do you call an angry polar bear?
A. Nothing, just run.

Q. What do you call a frog that parks in a tow away zone?
A. A TOAD away zone.

Q. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A. Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!

Q. Why are duck doctors so expensive?
A. Because of their bills.

Q. What do you call a cow with a twitch?
A. Beef jerky.

Q. What do a car, tree and an elephant have in common?
A. They all have trunks!

Q. What's black, white and blue all over?
A. A cold zebra.

Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...

Q. What do you call a deaf dinosaur?
A. Anything you like, he can't hear you!

Q. A skunk, a frog and a duck wanted to go to the movies. The movies cost a dollar, which animal got to go?
A. The frog because it was the only one with a greenback.

Q. What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
A. Ouchy, mama!

Q. What is a cow's favorite ice cream?
A. MOOnila!

Q. Say milk five times really fast. Now, what do cows drink?
A. Water.

Q. What bird is always sad?
A. A blue-bird.

Q. What did the dragon say after laying 50 eggs?
A. "I'm EGGShausted!"

Q. Where won't you find a dog shopping?
A. At the flea market!

Q. What is black, white and red all over?
A. An embarassed zebra!

Q. What do you get when you cross a ball and a cat?
A. A fur ball.

Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A. Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?!

Q. What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A. He called a tow truck.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Amos
Amos who?
Amos quito just bit me, boo hoo!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know
To get to your house.
---
Knock, knock
Who's there?
The chicken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
A parrot
A parrot who?
A parrot who?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Who
Who who?
I didn't know you were an owl!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrup...
Moooooooo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Twit
Twit who?
Did anyone else hear an owl?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Owls
Owls who?
That's correct, owls who!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lionel
Lionel who?
Lionel bite you if you don't watch out!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Three pigs
Three pigs who?
Three pigs who can't reach the doorbell.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my carrots!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gorilla
Gorilla who?
Gorilla me a hamburger!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dinosaur
Dinosaur who?
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Monkey
Monkey who?
Monkey see. Monkey do.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cobra
Cobra who?
Go brush your teeth!!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Kanga
Kanga who?
No, Kangaroo!

Jokes

One day, Ah Meng asked Siew Lee, "Why do lions eat raw meat?"
Siew Lee said, "Because they are wild animals?"
Ah Meng said, "Wrong! They eat raw meat because they can't cook!"
 

Two turtles were walking across the road, when suddenly a bright red car came racing around the corner and straight for them, one said to the other, "RUN!"
 

Policeman: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle.
Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.
 

There were three pigs and they walked into a restaurant. The waiter said, "What do you want to eat?" The first pig ordered fish and chips the second ordered pizza and the third ordered water.

The waiter came again and said, "What do you want for dessert?" The first pig wanted custard, the second some cake and the third wanted water again. The waiter said, "Why do you always have water?"
The pig replied, "Because one of us has to go wee, wee, wee all the way home!"
 

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
 

One day a lady entered a pet shop.
Lady: May I have a rabbit for my daughter?
Storekeeper: Sorry Ma'am, we don't do trades.
 

Tongue Twister: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk but the stump thunk the skunk stunk!
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

A newspaper reporter submitted a story about the theft of 2,025 pigs.
His editor, struck at the size of the theft, called the farmer to confirm.
"Is it true that you lost two thousand twenty-five pigs?" he asked.
"Yeth," said the farmer.
The editor thanked him, hung up, and changed the phrase to "two sows and 25 pigs."
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

An elephant asked an ant, "Please hide me." So the ant replied, "Hide behind me."
 

One day a big tortoise, a middle sized tortoise and a small tortoise went into a cafe. They ordered three banana splits. While they were waiting they noticed it had begun to rain. "Look at that," said the big tortoise, "we should have brought our umbrella."
"You're right," said the middle tortoise. "Let's send the little one back to get it."
"I'll go," said the little one. "But only if you promise not to eat my banana split."
The big tortoise and the middle tortoise promised.

A few days later the big tortoise said to the middle tortoise, "Come on, let's eat his banana spilt any way."
"All right," said the middle tortoise.
At that moment the little tortoise shouted from the end of the cafe, "You do that and I won't get your umbrella!"
 

A little boy was in a wedding. Every time he walked 2 steps down the aisle, he would roar. When he finally got to the end of the aisle the people asked what he was doing. The little boy said that he was just being the Ring Bear.
 

"Ggggggggggggggggggggggggggg," said the frog.
"You've got a frog in your throat," said the other frog.
 

There were 2 cats looking into a green canary's cage. The first cat said to the second cat, "That's not a canary, it's green!"
The second cat said, "I don't know, maybe it's not ripe yet!"
 

A mother snake bought a gift for her son's birthday. The son was so thrilled he hissed, "Mommy! Help me open it. I'm crawling out of my skin with excitement!"
 

There were two cows standing in a field talking to each other. They were talking about Mr. Brown's cows having Mad Cow Disease, when one of the cows said, "It's a good thing we're chickens."
 

Bob: I lost my dog today.
Bill: So put an ad in the paper.
Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

One day a duck waddles into a mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck does the same and once again the clerk says no and adds if you ask me one more time I will nail your webbed feet to the floor. So the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any nails?" The clerk says no. "Then got any grapes?"
 

The pillow asks the teddy bear, "Do you want an ice cream sundae?" The bear says, "No thanks, I'm stuffed!"
 

There was a man who bought a camel. The previous owner told him that to make it walk, say "few," to make it run, say "many" and to make it stop say "amen". So one day the man decided to have a practise ride. He said "few" and the camel started walking, he said "many" and it started running, right towards the edge of a cliff. But the man forgot how to make it stop, so, panicking, he shouted out "Lord save me, Lord save me, Amen" and of course the camel stopped - at the VERY edge. Relieved the man said to himself, "Phew, that was clo-aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
 

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had.
Latangela: What did the lion do?
LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
 

There's this man, he walks up to this lady's door. The lady answers it. The man says, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat. I'd like to replace it." Then the woman says. "How good are you at catching mice?"
 

If pigs could fly, imagine what their wings would taste like!
 

When my brother told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
 

A horse walked into the bar and the bartender said, "Why the long face?"
 

Mary had a little lamb,
But the lamb started to tease her.
Mary said, "STOP!"
But the lamb refused
So now it's in the freezer.
 

There was a man and he was walking a lion on the side of the street when a policeman came and said, "Sir please don't walk your lion on the side of the street because its very dangerous. Why don't you take him to the zoo?!"
The man agreed with him and took his lion to the zoo.

The next day the policeman saw the man walking his lion again and told him the same thing but the man said, "I already took him to the zoo and he liked it a lot, now I'm going to take him to the movies."
 

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