Read our collection of funny animal jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for kids. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Animal jokes and riddles for kids by kids.
Why were the hyenas laughing? They were reading Squigly's jokes and riddles! These are jokes about any creature that walks, swims, crawls or flies! Animal riddles are for everyone! Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you laugh out loud! :D
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Q. What do you get when you cross a monkey and a pansy?
A. A chimpansy.
Q. Why don't they play cards in Africa?
A. There are too many Cheetahs!
Q. What do you call a tiny rodent?
A. Mini mouse.
Q. If the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side, how did the frog cross the road?
A. He tied himself to the chicken.
Q. How do you eat an elephant?
A. One bite at a time.
Q. Why did the frog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to show his girlfriend he had guts.
Q. Why do cats always go after mice and birds?
A. Because cats like fast food.
Q. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A. A BULL-dozer.
Q. What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left for school?
Q. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
A. A poor horse is going barefoot!
Q. What is black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
A. Two skunks fighting over a pickle.
Q. What does a chicken have in common with a band?
Q. How come a cheetah can't play hide and seek?
A. Because he's already been spotted.
Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because he was tired of living beside KFC!
Q. What time is it when an elephant sits in a chair?
A. Time to buy a new chair!
Q. What do mice feel like when they come out of the shower?
A. Squeaky clean!
Q. What kind of horses have 6 legs?
A. The ones that are being ridden!
Q. What is black, white and red all over?
A. An embarassed zebra!
Q. What bird can write?
Q. What goes BOUNCE! OUCH! BOUNCE! OUCH! BOUNCE! OUCH?
A. A kangaroo in a room with a low ceiling!
Q. Why did the leopard refuse to take a bath?
A. It didn't want to come out spotless.
Q. What did the snail say when he was riding on the back of a turtle?
Q. Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to see his flat mate!
Q. Why did the turtle cross the street?
A. To get to the Shell station.
Q. What does a toad say when it sees something great?
A. "TOADaly Awesome!"
Q. What do you give a frog at a hospital?
A. A HOPeration!
Q. What animal never tells the truth?
A. A lion.
Q. What's black and white and can climb trees?
A. A panda.
Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!
Q. What does a polar bear use to keep his head warm?
A. A polar ice cap.
Q. Where did the cow go on a holiday?
A. MOO York.
Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.
Q. What's a cat's favourite magazine?
A. A CAT-alogue.
Q. What kind of explosions do dinosaurs like?
Q. Who was the first deer in space?
A. Buck Rogers.
Q. Say milk five times really fast. Now, what do cows drink?
Q. What do you call a bunny with fleas?
A. Bugs Bunny.
Q. What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?
A. A Tyrannosaurus WRECK!
Q. What did the dragon say after laying 50 eggs?
A. "I'm EGGShausted!"
Q. Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?
A. So he wouldn't get his tennis shoes wet.
Q. What do you need if you see a kangaroo 20 miles away?
A. I don't know, but you sure don't need glasses.
Q. Why did the farmer let his cows eat the tall grass?
A. Because it needed to get moooed! (Mowed)
Q. What are the strongest animals in the ocean?
Q. What's new at the zoo?
A. A gnu!
Q. What do a tree and an elephant have in common?
A. A trunk.
Q. What three animals have keys?
A. Donkeys, monkeys, and turkeys!
Q. What bird is always sad?
A. A blue-bird.
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
Q. Why didn't the squirrel cross the telephone wire?
A. Because the line was busy.
Q. What does the lion say to his friends before a hunt?
A. "Let us prey."
Q. How do rabbits travel?
A. By hare planes!
Q. What does a gorilla say when he is hungry?
A. "Gorilla me a burger."
Q. What do you call a smart pig?
Q. I am found on land and in the sea but I don't walk or swim. I travel by foot but I'm toeless. No matter where I go I'm never far from home. Who am I?
A. A snail.
Q. Why doesn't the elephant use the computer?
A. Because it is afraid of the mouse!
Q. Why did the cow pack his bags?
A. Because he was MOOving!
Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a camel?
A. A lumpy milkshake!
Q. What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A. I don't know, a Hershey BAAH?!
Q. Did you hear the one about the fox with no ears?
A. He didn't either.
Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!
Q. What way do the cows like to go?
A. The milky way!
Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. A zebra with the chicken pox.
Q. What do you call a dog who wins a race?
A. A weiner.
Q. What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?
A. The Milky Baa-r kid.
Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. A penguin doing 100 push ups.
Q. Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
A. Because their feet stink.
Q. Why don't you see penguins in Britian?
A. They're afraid of Wales!
Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.
Q. How did the dog get splinters in his tongue?
A. He ate table scraps.
Q. What do you call a cow who learns how to belly dance?
A. A milkshake!
Q. Where do you get draggin' milk?
A. From a cow with short legs.
Q. What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
A. Jurassic Pork.
Q. There are 2 cats, one is French and the other English. The French cat's name was Un Deux Trois and the English cat's name was One Two Three. Both cats think they're better than the other. To determine this they have a swimming contest. Which cat wins and why?
A. The English cat, because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq! (Un Deux Trois cat sank)
Q. What is green and hangs off trees?
A. Giraffe snot.
Amos quito just bit me, boo hoo!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know
To get to your house.
A parrot who?
A parrot who?
I didn't know you were an owl!
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!
Did anyone else hear an owl?
That's correct, owls who!
Lionel bite you if you don't watch out!
Three pigs who?
Three pigs who can't reach the doorbell.
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my carrots!
Gorilla me a hamburger!
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!
Monkey see. Monkey do.
Dasum cute dog!
Go brush your teeth!!
There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
One day a duck waddles into a mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.
The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.
The next day the duck does the same and once again the clerk says no and adds if you ask me one more time I will nail your webbed feet to the floor. So the duck waddles out.
The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any nails?" The clerk says no. "Then got any grapes?"
A man decided to start a chicken farm and brought 24 to get started. A week later he bought another 24 and another 24 the week after that. When his friend asked how his chicken farm was coming along the man replied, "Not one of them has grown yet. I wonder if I'm planting them too deep?"
Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile?
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!
A little boy was in a wedding. Every time he walked 2 steps down the aisle, he would roar. When he finally got to the end of the aisle the people asked what he was doing. The little boy said that he was just being the Ring Bear.
If pigs could fly, imagine what their wings would taste like!
An elephant asked an ant, "Please hide me." So the ant replied, "Hide behind me."
There was a man who bought a camel. The previous owner told him that to make it walk, say "few," to make it run, say "many" and to make it stop say "amen". So one day the man decided to have a practise ride. He said "few" and the camel started walking, he said "many" and it started running, right towards the edge of a cliff. But the man forgot how to make it stop, so, panicking, he shouted out "Lord save me, Lord save me, Amen" and of course the camel stopped - at the VERY edge. Relieved the man said to himself, "Phew, that was clo-aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
A newspaper reporter submitted a story about the theft of 2,025 pigs.
His editor, struck at the size of the theft, called the farmer to confirm.
"Is it true that you lost two thousand twenty-five pigs?" he asked.
"Yeth," said the farmer.
The editor thanked him, hung up, and changed the phrase to "two sows and 25 pigs."
Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant?
Mother: I don't know.
Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.
LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had.
Latangela: What did the lion do?
LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
"Ggggggggggggggggggggggggggg," said the frog.
"You've got a frog in your throat," said the other frog.
The pillow asks the teddy bear, "Do you want an ice cream sundae?" The bear says, "No thanks, I'm stuffed!"
One day a lady entered a pet shop.
Lady: May I have a rabbit for my daughter?
Storekeeper: Sorry Ma'am, we don't do trades.
There were two sisters and they had $700 to spend on a bull. So one sister stayed home and looked after the farm while the other went to the auction. The sister brought the bull for $699 so she went to the post office and asked how much it was to send a telegram. It was $1 a word. So she told the man to send the word: Comfortable. (Come-for-the-bull.)
One day, Ah Meng asked Siew Lee, "Why do lions eat raw meat?"
Siew Lee said, "Because they are wild animals?"
Ah Meng said, "Wrong! They eat raw meat because they can't cook!"
Mary had a little lamb,
But the lamb started to tease her.
Mary said, "STOP!"
But the lamb refused
So now it's in the freezer.
There were 3 cats, The first cat said, "Meow."
Second cat said, "Meow."
Third cat said, "Meow, meow."
The first cat said, "Don't change the subject."
One day a big tortoise, a middle sized tortoise and a small tortoise went into a cafe. They ordered three banana splits. While they were waiting they noticed it had begun to rain. "Look at that," said the big tortoise, "we should have brought our umbrella."
"You're right," said the middle tortoise. "Let's send the little one back to get it."
"I'll go," said the little one. "But only if you promise not to eat my banana split."
The big tortoise and the middle tortoise promised.
A few days later the big tortoise said to the middle tortoise, "Come on, let's eat his banana spilt any way."
"All right," said the middle tortoise.
At that moment the little tortoise shouted from the end of the cafe, "You do that and I won't get your umbrella!"
A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.
Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
A horse walked into the bar and the bartender said, "Why the long face?"
When my brother told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
There were 2 cats looking into a green canary's cage. The first cat said to the second cat, "That's not a canary, it's green!"
The second cat said, "I don't know, maybe it's not ripe yet!"
Two turtles were walking across the road, when suddenly a bright red car came racing around the corner and straight for them, one said to the other, "RUN!"
Snake 1: I hope I'm not poisonous.
Snake 2: Why?
Snake 1: Because I just bit my tongue.
A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
There's this man, he walks up to this lady's door. The lady answers it. The man says, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat. I'd like to replace it." Then the woman says. "How good are you at catching mice?"
A cat died in a house. The servant started crying badly.
Master: It is only a cat that has died, why are you crying so much?
Servant: Master, when the cat was there I used to drink the milk and put the blame on it. Now on whom will I put the blame?
A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo.
The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo."
The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
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