Read our collection of funny animal jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for kids. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Animal jokes and riddles for kids by kids.
Why were the hyenas laughing? They were reading Squigly's jokes and riddles! These are jokes about any creature that walks, swims, crawls or flies! Animal riddles are for everyone! Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you laugh out loud! :D
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Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
Q. What kind of vehicle does a lamb drive?
A. A LAMBorghini!
Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.
Q. What do you get when you cross a monkey and a pansy?
A. A chimpansy.
Q. If the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side, how did the frog cross the road?
A. He tied himself to the chicken.
Q. What planet is full of cows?
A. The MOOn!
Q. What did the snail say when he was riding on the back of a turtle?
Q. Why is a snake lucky?
A. Because you can't pull its leg!
Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...
Q. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A. An investiGATOR!
Q. What do you call a dinosaur with a big vocabulary?
A. A theSAURUS!
Q. What is the difference between a piano and a fish?
A. You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish!
Q. Where do ducks go when they are sick?
A. The DUCKtor!
Q. What is a cow's favorite ice cream?
Q. What does a gorilla say when he is hungry?
A. "Gorilla me a burger."
Q. How do you make a goldfish age?
A. Take away the g in goldfish.
Q. Why was the crab arrested?
A. For pinching!
Q. Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A. Because it's too far to walk!
Q. What happened to the frog's car when it got stuck?
A. It had to get TOAD away.
Q. Who was the first deer in space?
A. Buck Rogers.
Q. What 2 animals have the same last name?
A. The donKEY and the monKEY.
Q. What do mice feel like when they come out of the shower?
A. Squeaky clean!
Q. Where does a penguin go to visit his aunt?
Q. Why did the farmer let his cows eat the tall grass?
A. Because it needed to get moooed! (Mowed)
Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.
Q. Did you hear the one about the fox with no ears?
A. He didn't either.
Q. How do you make a milkshake?
A. Sneak up behind a cow and say boo!
Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!
Q. What do cows like to put on their sandwiches?
Q. Why don't penguins live in Britain?
A. Because they're scared of Wales!
Q. What three animals have keys?
A. Donkeys, monkeys, and turkeys!
Q. What does a toad say when it sees something great?
A. "TOADaly Awesome!"
Q. How do rabbits travel?
A. By hare planes!
Q. Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
A. Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.
Q. How do you stop an alligator wriggling in the back of your car?
A. Move it to the front!
Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
Q. What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?
A. A woolly jumper!
Q. What do you get if you cross a bee and a bunny?
A. A honey bunny!
Q. What animal sleeps with its shoes on?
A. A horse.
Q. What do you need if you see a kangaroo 20 miles away?
A. I don't know, but you sure don't need glasses.
Q. What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
A. Open TOAD sandals.
Q. How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?
A. Grapes are purple.
Q. What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?
A. The Milky Baa-r kid.
Q. What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and cuts grass?
A. A lawn MEOW-er!
Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.
Q. What do you call a chimp that likes to eat potato chips?
A. A chip-monk!
Q. Why didn't the squirrel cross the telephone wire?
A. Because the line was busy.
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
Q. What animal has more lives than a cat?
A. A frog because it croaks every night!
Q. What does a cow grow on its face?
A. A MOOstache.
Q. What goes BOUNCE! OUCH! BOUNCE! OUCH! BOUNCE! OUCH?
A. A kangaroo in a room with a low ceiling!
Q. How does a rabbit throw a tantrum?
A. He gets hopping mad.
Q. What time is it when an elephant sits in a chair?
A. Time to buy a new chair!
Q. Why was the elephant afraid of the computer store?
A. Because they sold the world's best mice.
Q. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A. A rocker spaniel.
Q. Why can't a leopard hide?
A. Because he's always spotted!
Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.
Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. A sunburned zebra!
Q. Why do fish live in salt water?
A. Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
Q. Where do beavers and hamsters live together?
Q. How do you stop a rhino from charging?
A. Take away its credit card.
Q. What does a chicken have in common with a band?
Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A. "Are you my mommy?"
Q. Why did the goose cross the road?
A. He didn't want to be called a chicken!
Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A. Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?!
Q. There are 2 cats, one is French and the other English. The French cat's name was Un Deux Trois and the English cat's name was One Two Three. Both cats think they're better than the other. To determine this they have a swimming contest. Which cat wins and why?
A. The English cat, because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq! (Un Deux Trois cat sank)
Q. Why did the turtle cross the street?
A. To get to the Shell station.
Q. How do you spell mousetrap with ONLY three letters?
Q. Why did the young cat get arrested ?
A. For his litter!
Q. There were two elephants under one umbrella, why didn't they get wet?
A. It wasn't raining.
Q. What animal is NOT allowed to play in games or contests?
A. Cheetahs (cheaters)
Q. Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?
A. So he wouldn't get his tennis shoes wet.
Q. What is the cat's favorite button on the remote?
Q. What's black, white, black, white, black and white?
A. A penguin rolling down a hill.
Q. I am found on land and in the sea but I don't walk or swim. I travel by foot but I'm toeless. No matter where I go I'm never far from home. Who am I?
A. A snail.
Amos quito just bit me, boo hoo!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know
To get to your house.
A parrot who?
A parrot who?
I didn't know you were an owl!
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!
Did anyone else hear an owl?
That's correct, owls who!
Lionel bite you if you don't watch out!
Three pigs who?
Three pigs who can't reach the doorbell.
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my carrots!
Gorilla me a hamburger!
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!
Monkey see. Monkey do.
Dasum cute dog!
Go brush your teeth!!
A little boy was in a wedding. Every time he walked 2 steps down the aisle, he would roar. When he finally got to the end of the aisle the people asked what he was doing. The little boy said that he was just being the Ring Bear.
A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo.
The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo."
The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
There were 2 cats looking into a green canary's cage. The first cat said to the second cat, "That's not a canary, it's green!"
The second cat said, "I don't know, maybe it's not ripe yet!"
Tongue Twister: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk but the stump thunk the skunk stunk!
A horse walked into the bar and the bartender said, "Why the long face?"
Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile?
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
If pigs could fly, imagine what their wings would taste like!
Three pigs walked into a restaurant and the waiter asked them what they would like to drink. The first pig wanted Coke, the second Sprite and the third wanted water, lots and lots of water.
The waiter came back to ask for the main course and the first pig wanted salad, the second wanted chicken and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water.
The waiter came back and asked for their dessert choices. The first pig wanted cake, the second wanted cupcakes and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water.
The waiter was curious and asked the third pig, "Why do you want so much water?"
The third little pig smiled and said, "I'm the little pig that goes, wee, wee, wee all the way home"
There was a man who bought a camel. The previous owner told him that to make it walk, say "few," to make it run, say "many" and to make it stop say "amen". So one day the man decided to have a practise ride. He said "few" and the camel started walking, he said "many" and it started running, right towards the edge of a cliff. But the man forgot how to make it stop, so, panicking, he shouted out "Lord save me, Lord save me, Amen" and of course the camel stopped - at the VERY edge. Relieved the man said to himself, "Phew, that was clo-aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.
Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
Once there was a scientist doing a test on a frog. He told the frog to jump, so it jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "4 legs-jumps."
Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's front legs and said, "Jump." The frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "3 legs-jumps."
Then the scientist cut off the frog's other front leg and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "2 legs-jumps."
Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's back legs and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. So the scientist wrote in his notes, "1 leg jump."
Then the scientist cut off the last leg and said, "Jump," and the frog didn't move. So the scientist said it again, but it still didn't move, so in his notes the scientist wrote, "No legs-goes deaf."
A newspaper reporter submitted a story about the theft of 2,025 pigs.
His editor, struck at the size of the theft, called the farmer to confirm.
"Is it true that you lost two thousand twenty-five pigs?" he asked.
"Yeth," said the farmer.
The editor thanked him, hung up, and changed the phrase to "two sows and 25 pigs."
One day a lady entered a pet shop.
Lady: May I have a rabbit for my daughter?
Storekeeper: Sorry Ma'am, we don't do trades.
Snake 1: I hope I'm not poisonous.
Snake 2: Why?
Snake 1: Because I just bit my tongue.
One day a big tortoise, a middle sized tortoise and a small tortoise went into a cafe. They ordered three banana splits. While they were waiting they noticed it had begun to rain. "Look at that," said the big tortoise, "we should have brought our umbrella."
"You're right," said the middle tortoise. "Let's send the little one back to get it."
"I'll go," said the little one. "But only if you promise not to eat my banana split."
The big tortoise and the middle tortoise promised.
A few days later the big tortoise said to the middle tortoise, "Come on, let's eat his banana spilt any way."
"All right," said the middle tortoise.
At that moment the little tortoise shouted from the end of the cafe, "You do that and I won't get your umbrella!"
"Ggggggggggggggggggggggggggg," said the frog.
"You've got a frog in your throat," said the other frog.
There was a man and he was walking a lion on the side of the street when a policeman came and said, "Sir please don't walk your lion on the side of the street because its very dangerous. Why don't you take him to the zoo?!"
The man agreed with him and took his lion to the zoo.
The next day the policeman saw the man walking his lion again and told him the same thing but the man said, "I already took him to the zoo and he liked it a lot, now I'm going to take him to the movies."
An elephant asked an ant, "Please hide me." So the ant replied, "Hide behind me."
A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!
A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
There were two sisters and they had $700 to spend on a bull. So one sister stayed home and looked after the farm while the other went to the auction. The sister brought the bull for $699 so she went to the post office and asked how much it was to send a telegram. It was $1 a word. So she told the man to send the word: Comfortable. (Come-for-the-bull.)
There were three pigs and they walked into a restaurant. The waiter said, "What do you want to eat?" The first pig ordered fish and chips the second ordered pizza and the third ordered water.
The waiter came again and said, "What do you want for dessert?" The first pig wanted custard, the second some cake and the third wanted water again. The waiter said, "Why do you always have water?"
The pig replied, "Because one of us has to go wee, wee, wee all the way home!"
Two turtles were walking across the road, when suddenly a bright red car came racing around the corner and straight for them, one said to the other, "RUN!"
The pillow asks the teddy bear, "Do you want an ice cream sundae?" The bear says, "No thanks, I'm stuffed!"
One day, Ah Meng asked Siew Lee, "Why do lions eat raw meat?"
Siew Lee said, "Because they are wild animals?"
Ah Meng said, "Wrong! They eat raw meat because they can't cook!"
A man decided to start a chicken farm and brought 24 to get started. A week later he bought another 24 and another 24 the week after that. When his friend asked how his chicken farm was coming along the man replied, "Not one of them has grown yet. I wonder if I'm planting them too deep?"
Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had.
Latangela: What did the lion do?
LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
One day a duck waddles into a mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.
The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.
The next day the duck does the same and once again the clerk says no and adds if you ask me one more time I will nail your webbed feet to the floor. So the duck waddles out.
The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any nails?" The clerk says no. "Then got any grapes?"
When my brother told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
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