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Funny animal jokes for Kids

Animal Jokes for Kids

Read our collection of funny animal jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for kids. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Animal jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Why were the hyenas laughing? They were reading Squigly's jokes and riddles! These are jokes about any creature that walks, swims, crawls or flies! Animal riddles are for everyone! Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What do a tree and an elephant have in common?
A. A trunk.

Q. What is a cow's favourite drink?
A. MOO Juice.

Q. What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
A. Open TOAD sandals.

Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. Pork Chop!

Q. Where does a penguin go to visit his aunt?
A. ANT-arctica!

Q. How does a rabbit throw a tantrum?
A. He gets hopping mad.

Q. You are trapped in a room and there are 3 doors. Each door has something behind it. The first door has two hungry lions that have not eaten in four years. The second door has electric lasers all across the room. The third has three ninjas ready to attack. Which door would you pick to go through?
A. The first because the lions would be dead if they have not eaten for 4 years!

Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A. A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

Q. What is white on the outside, green on the inside and hops?
A. A frog sandwich.

Q. There are 5 fish and 2 drown. How many are left?
A. Fish don't drown.

Q. What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
A. Ouchy, mama!

Q. What kind of bird uses ink to write?
A. A PEN-guin!

Q. What did the cat need when it was having trouble seeing?
A. A PURRscription!

Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A. "Are you my mommy?"

Q. What do you call a frog that parks in a tow away zone?
A. A TOAD away zone.

Q. What do you get if you cross a porcupine and a giraffe?
A. A seven metre long toothbrush!

Q. What's big, grey and has red spots?
A. An elephant with chicken pox!

Q. Why did the baby chick cross the road?
A. It was take-your-child-to-work day.

Q. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a centipede?
A. Drumsticks for everyone!

Q. What do you call a deaf dinosaur?
A. Anything you like, he can't hear you!

Q. What do eskimos call their cows?
A. Eski-MOOS.

Q. What animal carries an umbrella around?
A. A reindeer!

Q. What does a panda ghost eat?
A. Bam-BOO!

Q. What do you call a reptile that sings?
A. A RAPtile!

Q. What did the joey say to the turtle?
A. "I can take my home with me too."

Q. What do you call a chimp that likes to eat potato chips?
A. A chip-monk!

Q. Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road?
A. Because roads weren't invented yet!

Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.

Q. What do you call a rabbit with the sniffles?
A. A runny bunny.

Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a parrot?
A. An animal that tells you everything it remembers!

Q. Where do fish keep their money?
A. In the riverbank.

Q. What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?
A. A Tyrannosaurus WRECK!

Q. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A. A BULL-dozer.

Q. What did the pig put on his rash?
A. OINKment!

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. What animal has a crown on its head?
A. A rooster.

Q. What do mice feel like when they come out of the shower?
A. Squeaky clean!

Riddles continue below video…

Q. One cow is talking to another cow and looks away for 10 seconds and the other cow is gone. Where is the other cow?
A. Over the moon!

Q. How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?
A. Grapes are purple.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To show the possums how it's done.

Q. How do you make a goldfish age?
A. Take away the g in goldfish.

Q. What do you call a bunny with fleas?
A. Bugs Bunny.

Q. Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A. Because it's too far to walk!

Q. How do you catch a rabbit?
A. Make a noise like a carrot.

Q. Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to see his flat mate!

Q. Where did the boy take his pet pig to?
A. The Ham-usement park!

Q. What is grey, has a tail and a trunk?
A. A mouse going on a vacation.

Q. When was meat so high?
A. When the cow jumped over the moon!

Q. What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A. I don't know, a Hershey BAAH?!

Q. What do you call a kangaroo that sneezes alot?
A. A kanga-choo.

Q. What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?
A. A woolly jumper!

Q. How do you make a cow float?
A. Root beer, ice cream, a cherry, and a cow.

Q. What do you call a deer that makes money?
A. A buck!

Q. Why did the dinosaur wear a bandage?
A. Because he had a dino-SORE!

Q. What do you get when you cross a monkey and a pansy?
A. A chimpansy.

Q. What's the biggest type of moth?
A. A mammoth.

Q. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A. A dino-snore!

Q. How did the sheep get red cheeks?
A. It was MAAHD!

Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.

Q. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and put the elephant in and then close the door.

Q. Where do you get draggin' milk?
A. From a cow with short legs.

Q. Which day is mostly avoided by fish?
A. FRYday!

Q. What does a chicken have in common with a band?
A. Drumsticks.

Q. What way do the cows like to go?
A. The milky way!

Q. There are 2 cats, one is French and the other English. The French cat's name was Un Deux Trois and the English cat's name was One Two Three. Both cats think they're better than the other. To determine this they have a swimming contest. Which cat wins and why?
A. The English cat, because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq! (Un Deux Trois cat sank)

Q. What bird can write?
A. PENguin!

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No idea. (No eye deer)

Q. What do you get when you mix a bear and a skunk?
A. Winnie-The-Phew!

Q. Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?
A. Because he had a big bill.

Q. What do you call a cow with a twitch?
A. Beef jerky.

Q. What does a polar bear use to keep his head warm?
A. A polar ice cap.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because she was getting tired of just standing there!

Q. What kind of animals do clocks have?
A. Ticks.

Q. Why did the dinosaur bring string to the baseball game?
A. He wanted to tie up the score!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Amos
Amos who?
Amos quito just bit me, boo hoo!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know
To get to your house.
---
Knock, knock
Who's there?
The chicken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
A parrot
A parrot who?
A parrot who?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Who
Who who?
I didn't know you were an owl!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrup...
Moooooooo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Twit
Twit who?
Did anyone else hear an owl?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Owls
Owls who?
That's correct, owls who!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lionel
Lionel who?
Lionel bite you if you don't watch out!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Three pigs
Three pigs who?
Three pigs who can't reach the doorbell.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my carrots!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gorilla
Gorilla who?
Gorilla me a hamburger!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dinosaur
Dinosaur who?
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Monkey
Monkey who?
Monkey see. Monkey do.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cobra
Cobra who?
Go brush your teeth!!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Kanga
Kanga who?
No, Kangaroo!

Jokes

When my brother told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
 

Bob: I lost my dog today.
Bill: So put an ad in the paper.
Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

An elephant asked an ant, "Please hide me." So the ant replied, "Hide behind me."
 

There were 3 cats, The first cat said, "Meow."
Second cat said, "Meow."
Third cat said, "Meow, meow."
The first cat said, "Don't change the subject."
 

There were 2 cats looking into a green canary's cage. The first cat said to the second cat, "That's not a canary, it's green!"
The second cat said, "I don't know, maybe it's not ripe yet!"
 

A newspaper reporter submitted a story about the theft of 2,025 pigs.
His editor, struck at the size of the theft, called the farmer to confirm.
"Is it true that you lost two thousand twenty-five pigs?" he asked.
"Yeth," said the farmer.
The editor thanked him, hung up, and changed the phrase to "two sows and 25 pigs."
 

One day a big tortoise, a middle sized tortoise and a small tortoise went into a cafe. They ordered three banana splits. While they were waiting they noticed it had begun to rain. "Look at that," said the big tortoise, "we should have brought our umbrella."
"You're right," said the middle tortoise. "Let's send the little one back to get it."
"I'll go," said the little one. "But only if you promise not to eat my banana split."
The big tortoise and the middle tortoise promised.

A few days later the big tortoise said to the middle tortoise, "Come on, let's eat his banana spilt any way."
"All right," said the middle tortoise.
At that moment the little tortoise shouted from the end of the cafe, "You do that and I won't get your umbrella!"
 

Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant?
Mother: I don't know.
Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.
 

A mother snake bought a gift for her son's birthday. The son was so thrilled he hissed, "Mommy! Help me open it. I'm crawling out of my skin with excitement!"
 

Two turtles were walking across the road, when suddenly a bright red car came racing around the corner and straight for them, one said to the other, "RUN!"
 

If pigs could fly, imagine what their wings would taste like!
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A man decided to start a chicken farm and brought 24 to get started. A week later he bought another 24 and another 24 the week after that. When his friend asked how his chicken farm was coming along the man replied, "Not one of them has grown yet. I wonder if I'm planting them too deep?"
 

There were three pigs and they walked into a restaurant. The waiter said, "What do you want to eat?" The first pig ordered fish and chips the second ordered pizza and the third ordered water.

The waiter came again and said, "What do you want for dessert?" The first pig wanted custard, the second some cake and the third wanted water again. The waiter said, "Why do you always have water?"
The pig replied, "Because one of us has to go wee, wee, wee all the way home!"
 

There was a man and he was walking a lion on the side of the street when a policeman came and said, "Sir please don't walk your lion on the side of the street because its very dangerous. Why don't you take him to the zoo?!"
The man agreed with him and took his lion to the zoo.

The next day the policeman saw the man walking his lion again and told him the same thing but the man said, "I already took him to the zoo and he liked it a lot, now I'm going to take him to the movies."
 

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had.
Latangela: What did the lion do?
LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

Once there was a scientist doing a test on a frog. He told the frog to jump, so it jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "4 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's front legs and said, "Jump." The frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "3 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off the frog's other front leg and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "2 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's back legs and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. So the scientist wrote in his notes, "1 leg jump."

Then the scientist cut off the last leg and said, "Jump," and the frog didn't move. So the scientist said it again, but it still didn't move, so in his notes the scientist wrote, "No legs-goes deaf."
 

A man walked into a pub and bought a sandwich, then a panda walked into the pub and stole the sandwich, ate it, shoots the barman and leaves. So the man goes out and says to the panda, "Why did you eat my sandwich, shoot the barman and then just leave?"
The panda says, "Look panda up in the dictionary."
So he looked Panda up and read: Eats shoots and leaves.
 

One day a duck waddles into a mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck does the same and once again the clerk says no and adds if you ask me one more time I will nail your webbed feet to the floor. So the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any nails?" The clerk says no. "Then got any grapes?"
 

A little boy was in a wedding. Every time he walked 2 steps down the aisle, he would roar. When he finally got to the end of the aisle the people asked what he was doing. The little boy said that he was just being the Ring Bear.
 

Three pigs walked into a restaurant and the waiter asked them what they would like to drink. The first pig wanted Coke, the second Sprite and the third wanted water, lots and lots of water.

The waiter came back to ask for the main course and the first pig wanted salad, the second wanted chicken and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water.

The waiter came back and asked for their dessert choices. The first pig wanted cake, the second wanted cupcakes and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water.

The waiter was curious and asked the third pig, "Why do you want so much water?"
The third little pig smiled and said, "I'm the little pig that goes, wee, wee, wee all the way home"
 

"Ggggggggggggggggggggggggggg," said the frog.
"You've got a frog in your throat," said the other frog.
 

Down in the south where coconuts grow, an elephant stepped on a mosquito's toe. The mosquito jumped up with tears in his eyes and said, "Excuse me but you're not my size."
 

There was a man who bought a camel. The previous owner told him that to make it walk, say "few," to make it run, say "many" and to make it stop say "amen". So one day the man decided to have a practise ride. He said "few" and the camel started walking, he said "many" and it started running, right towards the edge of a cliff. But the man forgot how to make it stop, so, panicking, he shouted out "Lord save me, Lord save me, Amen" and of course the camel stopped - at the VERY edge. Relieved the man said to himself, "Phew, that was clo-aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
 

There's this man, he walks up to this lady's door. The lady answers it. The man says, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat. I'd like to replace it." Then the woman says. "How good are you at catching mice?"
 

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
 

Mary had a little lamb,
But the lamb started to tease her.
Mary said, "STOP!"
But the lamb refused
So now it's in the freezer.
 

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