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Funny animal jokes for Kids

Animal Jokes for Kids

Read our collection of funny animal jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for kids. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Animal jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Why were the hyenas laughing? They were reading Squigly's jokes and riddles! These are jokes about any creature that walks, swims, crawls or flies! Animal riddles are for everyone! Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What did the judge say when the skunk entered the court?
A. "Odor in the court!"

Q. What's new at the zoo?
A. A gnu!

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?
A. Because he had a big bill.

Q. What are a shark's favorite games?
A. Swallow the Leader and Go Fish!

Q. Where do famous dragons go after they retire?
A. The hall of flame!

Q. A duck, a cat and a cow went out to dinner, who had to pay?
A. The duck. He was the only one with a bill.

Q. What is a pampered cow?
A. Spoiled milk.

Q. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
A. A poor horse is going barefoot!

Q. What's invisible and smells like carrots?
A. Bunny toots!

Q. How do you stop a rhino from charging?
A. Take away its credit card.

Q. What cat likes living in water?
A. An octoPUSS!

Q. What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an elephant?
A. Great big holes all over Australia.

Q. Where does a penguin go to visit his aunt?
A. ANT-arctica!

Q. What do you call a rabbit with the sniffles?
A. A runny bunny.

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. What do you call a bunny with fleas?
A. Bugs Bunny.

Q. What kind of horses have 6 legs?
A. The ones that are being ridden!

Q. What do you call a bear who forgot his socks?
A. BEARfooted.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a parrot?
A. An animal that tells you everything it remembers!

Q. What animal carries an umbrella around?
A. A reindeer!

Q. What did the cat need when it was having trouble seeing?
A. A PURRscription!

Q. What kind of car does a cow drive?
A. A CATTLEac.

Q. Why did the dinosaur bring string to the baseball game?
A. He wanted to tie up the score!

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. Where do you get draggin' milk?
A. From a cow with short legs.

Q. Why did the cow do jumping jacks?
A. Because he wanted a milkshake!

Q. What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A. He called a tow truck.

Q. What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
A. One is really heavy. The other is a little lighter.

Q. How do you know clams are lazy?
A. They are always in their beds.

Q. Why don't you see penguins in Britian?
A. They're afraid of Wales!

Q. What happened to the frog's car when it got stuck?
A. It had to get TOAD away.

Q. What do you call a bear with no ears?
A. B.

Q. Why was the elephant afraid of the computer store?
A. Because they sold the world's best mice.

Q. What do you call an Italian cow that likes coffee?
A. De-calf.

Q. How do you hunt for elephants?
A. Hide in a bush and make a noise like a peanut.

Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. A penguin doing 100 push ups.

Riddles continue below video…

Q. How do you get 6 donkeys into a fire engine?
A. Two in the front, two in the back and two on the top going, "He-haw, he-haw!"

Q. There were two elephants under one umbrella, why didn't they get wet?
A. It wasn't raining.

Q. Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
A. Because their feet stink.

Q. What do you get when you cross an octagon with a cat?
A. An octopus.

Q. Where do sheep get their hair cut?
A. At the bah bah shop.

Q. What do a tree and an elephant have in common?
A. A trunk.

Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. Pork Chop!

Q. Why do you never ask a dinosaur to read you a story?
A. Because their tales are so long.

Q. What three animals have keys?
A. Donkeys, monkeys, and turkeys!

Q. Where do ducks go when they are sick?
A. The DUCKtor!

Q. What do you call a deaf dinosaur?
A. Anything you like, he can't hear you!

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To show the possums how it's done.

Q. Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?
A. MOO-tels!

Q. What do cows like to put on their sandwiches?
A. MOOstard!

Q. What do you get when you cross a monkey and a pansy?
A. A chimpansy.

Q. What is the difference between a cat that got photocopied and a cat that follows you?
A. One is a cat copy, the other is a copy cat.

Q. If the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side, how did the frog cross the road?
A. He tied himself to the chicken.

Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!

Q. How did the dog get splinters in his tongue?
A. He ate table scraps.

Q. There is a horse tied to a rope five yards long. Ten yards away there is hay. The horse is eating the hay, how did he get there?
A. The rope isn't tied to anything.

Q. Why was the walrus late for the party?
A. His iceberg ran into a ship!

Q. Why does a giraffe eat so little?
A. Because they can make a little go a long way.

Q. What did the joey say to the turtle?
A. "I can take my home with me too."

Q. What does a triceratops sit on?
A. It's tricera-bottom!

Q. What do you call a cow with a twitch?
A. Beef jerky.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
A. A creamy quacker!

Q. Why did the turtle cross the street?
A. To get to the Shell station.

Q. What has 6 legs, 4 eyes, 4 ears, 2 noses, 2 mouths and 2 heads?
A. A man sitting on a horse.

Q. What did the frog order at the burger place?
A. French flies and a diet croak.

Q. Why did the sheep go to the movies?
A. To get some snAAAHks!

Q. What's the biggest type of moth?
A. A mammoth.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get to the other side.

Q. What did the elephant say to her son when he was naughty?
A. "Tusk tusk!"

Q. Why did the elephant paint his fingernails red?
A. So he could hide in a bowl of cherries.

Q. How do you catch a rabbit?
A. Make a noise like a carrot.

Q. What do you get when an elephant sky dives?
A. A big hole.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Amos
Amos who?
Amos quito just bit me, boo hoo!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know
To get to your house.
---
Knock, knock
Who's there?
The chicken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
A parrot
A parrot who?
A parrot who?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Who
Who who?
I didn't know you were an owl!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrup...
Moooooooo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Twit
Twit who?
Did anyone else hear an owl?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Owls
Owls who?
That's correct, owls who!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lionel
Lionel who?
Lionel bite you if you don't watch out!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Three pigs
Three pigs who?
Three pigs who can't reach the doorbell.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my carrots!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gorilla
Gorilla who?
Gorilla me a hamburger!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dinosaur
Dinosaur who?
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Monkey
Monkey who?
Monkey see. Monkey do.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cobra
Cobra who?
Go brush your teeth!!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Kanga
Kanga who?
No, Kangaroo!

Jokes

When my brother told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
 

A newspaper reporter submitted a story about the theft of 2,025 pigs.
His editor, struck at the size of the theft, called the farmer to confirm.
"Is it true that you lost two thousand twenty-five pigs?" he asked.
"Yeth," said the farmer.
The editor thanked him, hung up, and changed the phrase to "two sows and 25 pigs."
 

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had.
Latangela: What did the lion do?
LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
 

One day a duck waddles into a mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck does the same and once again the clerk says no and adds if you ask me one more time I will nail your webbed feet to the floor. So the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any nails?" The clerk says no. "Then got any grapes?"
 

There were 3 cats, The first cat said, "Meow."
Second cat said, "Meow."
Third cat said, "Meow, meow."
The first cat said, "Don't change the subject."
 

One day, Ah Meng asked Siew Lee, "Why do lions eat raw meat?"
Siew Lee said, "Because they are wild animals?"
Ah Meng said, "Wrong! They eat raw meat because they can't cook!"
 

A horse walked into the bar and the bartender said, "Why the long face?"
 

The pillow asks the teddy bear, "Do you want an ice cream sundae?" The bear says, "No thanks, I'm stuffed!"
 

An elephant asked an ant, "Please hide me." So the ant replied, "Hide behind me."
 

A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo.

The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo."
The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
 

"Ggggggggggggggggggggggggggg," said the frog.
"You've got a frog in your throat," said the other frog.
 

A little boy was in a wedding. Every time he walked 2 steps down the aisle, he would roar. When he finally got to the end of the aisle the people asked what he was doing. The little boy said that he was just being the Ring Bear.
 

Mary had a little lamb,
But the lamb started to tease her.
Mary said, "STOP!"
But the lamb refused
So now it's in the freezer.
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Bob: I lost my dog today.
Bill: So put an ad in the paper.
Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

If pigs could fly, imagine what their wings would taste like!
 

One day a lady entered a pet shop.
Lady: May I have a rabbit for my daughter?
Storekeeper: Sorry Ma'am, we don't do trades.
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

Two turtles were walking across the road, when suddenly a bright red car came racing around the corner and straight for them, one said to the other, "RUN!"
 

Snake 1: I hope I'm not poisonous.
Snake 2: Why?
Snake 1: Because I just bit my tongue.
 

A mother snake bought a gift for her son's birthday. The son was so thrilled he hissed, "Mommy! Help me open it. I'm crawling out of my skin with excitement!"
 

Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant?
Mother: I don't know.
Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

A man decided to start a chicken farm and brought 24 to get started. A week later he bought another 24 and another 24 the week after that. When his friend asked how his chicken farm was coming along the man replied, "Not one of them has grown yet. I wonder if I'm planting them too deep?"
 

There was a man and he was walking a lion on the side of the street when a policeman came and said, "Sir please don't walk your lion on the side of the street because its very dangerous. Why don't you take him to the zoo?!"
The man agreed with him and took his lion to the zoo.

The next day the policeman saw the man walking his lion again and told him the same thing but the man said, "I already took him to the zoo and he liked it a lot, now I'm going to take him to the movies."
 

Tongue Twister: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk but the stump thunk the skunk stunk!
 

Down in the south where coconuts grow, an elephant stepped on a mosquito's toe. The mosquito jumped up with tears in his eyes and said, "Excuse me but you're not my size."
 

There were two cows standing in a field talking to each other. They were talking about Mr. Brown's cows having Mad Cow Disease, when one of the cows said, "It's a good thing we're chickens."
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

A man walked into a pub and bought a sandwich, then a panda walked into the pub and stole the sandwich, ate it, shoots the barman and leaves. So the man goes out and says to the panda, "Why did you eat my sandwich, shoot the barman and then just leave?"
The panda says, "Look panda up in the dictionary."
So he looked Panda up and read: Eats shoots and leaves.
 

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