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Funny animal jokes for Kids

Animal Jokes for Kids

Read our collection of funny animal jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for kids. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Animal jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Why were the hyenas laughing? They were reading Squigly's jokes and riddles! These are jokes about any creature that walks, swims, crawls or flies! Animal riddles are for everyone! Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you call a cow who learns how to belly dance?
A. A milkshake!

Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
A. Achoowawa!

Q. What animal carries an umbrella around?
A. A reindeer!

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a camel?
A. A lumpy milkshake!

Q. A rabbit hops by IHOP. He looks at the sign. What does he say?
A. "Big deal, so do I."

Q. What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?
A. A Tyrannosaurus WRECK!

Q. Did you hear the one about the fox with no ears?
A. He didn't either.

Q. Why didn't the bunny hop?
A. No bunny knows.

Q. What does a toad say when it sees something great?
A. "TOADaly Awesome!"

Q. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
A. Swimming trunks!

Q. What kind of car does a cow drive?
A. A CATTLEac.

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A. Time to get a new fence.

Q. Why did the cow do jumping jacks?
A. Because he wanted a milkshake!

Q. Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?
A. Because he had a big bill.

Q. Why do elephants have wrinkles?
A. Ever tried to iron an elephant?

Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...

Q. Who was the first deer in space?
A. Buck Rogers.

Q. Where do ducks go when they are sick?
A. The DUCKtor!

Q. There are 20 birds in a tree. A man comes and shoots one of the birds. How many birds are left?
A. None, because all the birds flew away after hearing the gun shot.

Q. What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A. A cloud!

Q. How did the cow get through the crowd?
A. He shouted MOOve!

Q. A skunk, a frog and a duck wanted to go to the movies. The movies cost a dollar, which animal got to go?
A. The frog because it was the only one with a greenback.

Q. What is the best way to catch a squirrel?
A. Act like a nut.

Q. What kind of animals do clocks have?
A. Ticks.

Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. A zebra with the chicken pox.

Q. Why did the turtle cross the street?
A. To get to the Shell station.

Q. What place has the most cows?
A. Moo York. (New York)

Q. What is a cow's favorite portrait?
A. MOOna Lisa!

Q. What did the spider do when he went on his computer?
A. He went on his web site!

Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A. "Are you my mommy?"

Q. Why does a Koala carry its baby on its back?
A. Because they can't push a pram up a tree!

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. What was Mr. Cow and Mrs. Cow's favorite time together?
A. When they went on their honeyMOOn.

Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A. A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

Q. What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
A. Open TOAD sandals.

Q. Why aren't dogs good dancers?
A. They have two left feet.

Q. What's a cat's favourite magazine?
A. A CAT-alogue.

Q. Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
A. Because their feet stink.

Riddles continue below video…

Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.

Q. What animal sleeps with its shoes on?
A. A horse.

Q. What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A. He called a tow truck.

Q. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
A. A poor horse is going barefoot!

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No idea. (No eye deer)

Q. Why do cats always go after mice and birds?
A. Because cats like fast food.

Q. What do you get with a kangoroo and a snake?
A. A jump rope.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
A. Bacon and legs!

Q. Why did the horse cross the road?
A. To get to the other NEIGH-bourhood.

Q. What is grey, has a tail and a trunk?
A. A mouse going on a vacation.

Q. What is black, white and red all over?
A. An embarassed zebra!

Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. An injured penguin.

Q. What has 6 legs, 4 eyes, 4 ears, 2 noses, 2 mouths and 2 heads?
A. A man sitting on a horse.

Q. What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an elephant?
A. Great big holes all over Australia.

Q. Why did the leopard refuse to take a bath?
A. It didn't want to come out spotless.

Q. What kind of monkey can fly?
A. A hot air BABOON!

Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. Why do elephants have trunks?
A. Because they would look funny with a suitcase.

Q. Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkly?
A. Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an aspirin!

Q. Why did the young cat get arrested ?
A. For his litter!

Q. What is the difference between a piano and a fish?
A. You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish!

Q. Why did the dinosaur wear a bandage?
A. Because he had a dino-SORE!

Q. What has the fur of a cat, the whiskers of a cat, ears of a car, a tail of a cat, but is not a cat?
A. A kitten.

Q. What planet is full of cows?
A. The MOOn!

Q. How do you eat an elephant?
A. One bite at a time.

Q. What do you call an Italian cow that likes coffee?
A. De-calf.

Q. What do polar bears like to snack on?
A. Eskimo thighs.

Q. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A. A dino-snore!

Q. Where does a cow go when he's bored?
A. To the MOOvies.

Q. What do you get when you cross a lamb and a rocket?
A. A space sheep!

Q. What did the sun say to the sheep and the cloud?
A. "Whoa, are y'all related?"

Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!

Q. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A. A pouch potato.

Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. To get to the MOOvies.

Q. What do you call a frog that parks in a tow away zone?
A. A TOAD away zone.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Amos
Amos who?
Amos quito just bit me, boo hoo!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know
To get to your house.
---
Knock, knock
Who's there?
The chicken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
A parrot
A parrot who?
A parrot who?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Who
Who who?
I didn't know you were an owl!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrup...
Moooooooo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Twit
Twit who?
Did anyone else hear an owl?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Owls
Owls who?
That's correct, owls who!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lionel
Lionel who?
Lionel bite you if you don't watch out!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Three pigs
Three pigs who?
Three pigs who can't reach the doorbell.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my carrots!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gorilla
Gorilla who?
Gorilla me a hamburger!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dinosaur
Dinosaur who?
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Monkey
Monkey who?
Monkey see. Monkey do.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cobra
Cobra who?
Go brush your teeth!!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Kanga
Kanga who?
No, Kangaroo!

Jokes

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo.

The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo."
The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
 

Tongue Twister: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk but the stump thunk the skunk stunk!
 

A man walked into a pub and bought a sandwich, then a panda walked into the pub and stole the sandwich, ate it, shoots the barman and leaves. So the man goes out and says to the panda, "Why did you eat my sandwich, shoot the barman and then just leave?"
The panda says, "Look panda up in the dictionary."
So he looked Panda up and read: Eats shoots and leaves.
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

One day a lady entered a pet shop.
Lady: May I have a rabbit for my daughter?
Storekeeper: Sorry Ma'am, we don't do trades.
 

A horse walked into the bar and the bartender said, "Why the long face?"
 

A newspaper reporter submitted a story about the theft of 2,025 pigs.
His editor, struck at the size of the theft, called the farmer to confirm.
"Is it true that you lost two thousand twenty-five pigs?" he asked.
"Yeth," said the farmer.
The editor thanked him, hung up, and changed the phrase to "two sows and 25 pigs."
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

There were two cows standing in a field talking to each other. They were talking about Mr. Brown's cows having Mad Cow Disease, when one of the cows said, "It's a good thing we're chickens."
 

There were three pigs and they walked into a restaurant. The waiter said, "What do you want to eat?" The first pig ordered fish and chips the second ordered pizza and the third ordered water.

The waiter came again and said, "What do you want for dessert?" The first pig wanted custard, the second some cake and the third wanted water again. The waiter said, "Why do you always have water?"
The pig replied, "Because one of us has to go wee, wee, wee all the way home!"
 

Once there was a scientist doing a test on a frog. He told the frog to jump, so it jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "4 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's front legs and said, "Jump." The frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "3 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off the frog's other front leg and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "2 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's back legs and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. So the scientist wrote in his notes, "1 leg jump."

Then the scientist cut off the last leg and said, "Jump," and the frog didn't move. So the scientist said it again, but it still didn't move, so in his notes the scientist wrote, "No legs-goes deaf."
 

A man decided to start a chicken farm and brought 24 to get started. A week later he bought another 24 and another 24 the week after that. When his friend asked how his chicken farm was coming along the man replied, "Not one of them has grown yet. I wonder if I'm planting them too deep?"
 

A mother snake bought a gift for her son's birthday. The son was so thrilled he hissed, "Mommy! Help me open it. I'm crawling out of my skin with excitement!"
 

A little boy was in a wedding. Every time he walked 2 steps down the aisle, he would roar. When he finally got to the end of the aisle the people asked what he was doing. The little boy said that he was just being the Ring Bear.
 

Three pigs walked into a restaurant and the waiter asked them what they would like to drink. The first pig wanted Coke, the second Sprite and the third wanted water, lots and lots of water.

The waiter came back to ask for the main course and the first pig wanted salad, the second wanted chicken and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water.

The waiter came back and asked for their dessert choices. The first pig wanted cake, the second wanted cupcakes and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water.

The waiter was curious and asked the third pig, "Why do you want so much water?"
The third little pig smiled and said, "I'm the little pig that goes, wee, wee, wee all the way home"
 

Two turtles were walking across the road, when suddenly a bright red car came racing around the corner and straight for them, one said to the other, "RUN!"
 

Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "Oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches."
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
 

There were two sisters and they had $700 to spend on a bull. So one sister stayed home and looked after the farm while the other went to the auction. The sister brought the bull for $699 so she went to the post office and asked how much it was to send a telegram. It was $1 a word. So she told the man to send the word: Comfortable. (Come-for-the-bull.)
 

One day, Ah Meng asked Siew Lee, "Why do lions eat raw meat?"
Siew Lee said, "Because they are wild animals?"
Ah Meng said, "Wrong! They eat raw meat because they can't cook!"
 

There were 3 cats, The first cat said, "Meow."
Second cat said, "Meow."
Third cat said, "Meow, meow."
The first cat said, "Don't change the subject."
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

Bob: I lost my dog today.
Bill: So put an ad in the paper.
Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

There was a man and he was walking a lion on the side of the street when a policeman came and said, "Sir please don't walk your lion on the side of the street because its very dangerous. Why don't you take him to the zoo?!"
The man agreed with him and took his lion to the zoo.

The next day the policeman saw the man walking his lion again and told him the same thing but the man said, "I already took him to the zoo and he liked it a lot, now I'm going to take him to the movies."
 

There were 2 cats looking into a green canary's cage. The first cat said to the second cat, "That's not a canary, it's green!"
The second cat said, "I don't know, maybe it's not ripe yet!"
 

There's this man, he walks up to this lady's door. The lady answers it. The man says, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat. I'd like to replace it." Then the woman says. "How good are you at catching mice?"
 

Policeman: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle.
Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.
 

There was a man who bought a camel. The previous owner told him that to make it walk, say "few," to make it run, say "many" and to make it stop say "amen". So one day the man decided to have a practise ride. He said "few" and the camel started walking, he said "many" and it started running, right towards the edge of a cliff. But the man forgot how to make it stop, so, panicking, he shouted out "Lord save me, Lord save me, Amen" and of course the camel stopped - at the VERY edge. Relieved the man said to himself, "Phew, that was clo-aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
 

One day a duck waddles into a mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck does the same and once again the clerk says no and adds if you ask me one more time I will nail your webbed feet to the floor. So the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any nails?" The clerk says no. "Then got any grapes?"
 

If pigs could fly, imagine what their wings would taste like!
 

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