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Funny animal jokes for Kids

Animal Jokes for Kids

Read our collection of funny animal jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for kids. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Animal jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Why were the hyenas laughing? They were reading Squigly's jokes and riddles! These are jokes about any creature that walks, swims, crawls or flies! Animal riddles are for everyone! Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What did the joey say to the turtle?
A. "I can take my home with me too."

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A. Time to get a new fence.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A. A milkshake!

Q. What sort of appliance does a monkey use?
A. A gorilla. (A griller)

Q. Why is getting up in the morning like a pig's tail?
A. It's twirly. (Too early)

Q. There are 10 cats in a boat. One cat jumped out of the boat. How many cats were left?
A. None, they were all copycats.

Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.

Q. What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
A. Ouchy, mama!

Q. What is a pampered cow?
A. Spoiled milk.

Q. What's a cow's favourite drink?
A. LeMOOnade.

Q. What does a toad say when it sees something great?
A. "TOADaly Awesome!"

Q. How do you stop a mouse from squealing?
A. Oil it.

Q. What is big, grey and has a lot of red bumps?
A. An elephant that was stung by a lot of bees!

Q. What bird is always sad?
A. A blue-bird.

Q. Say milk five times really fast. Now, what do cows drink?
A. Water.

Q. What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and cuts grass?
A. A lawn MEOW-er!

Q. One cow is talking to another cow and looks away for 10 seconds and the other cow is gone. Where is the other cow?
A. Over the moon!

Q. What's a monkey's favorite snack?
A. Chocolate chimp cookies.

Q. What goes BOUNCE! OUCH! BOUNCE! OUCH! BOUNCE! OUCH?
A. A kangaroo in a room with a low ceiling!

Q. What does a frog eat with his hamburger?
A. French Flies!

Q. What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
A. Jurassic Pork.

Q. What is a cow's favourite drink?
A. MOO Juice.

Q. How do you get fat free milk?
A. From a skinny cow!

Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
A. Achoowawa!

Q. How do you hunt for elephants?
A. Hide in a bush and make a noise like a peanut.

Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.

Q. What do you call a cat that eats lemons?
A. A sourpuss.

Q. What do you get with a kangoroo and a snake?
A. A jump rope.

Q. What kind of monkey can fly?
A. A hot air BABOON!

Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!

Q. Why did the elephant paint his fingernails red?
A. So he could hide in a bowl of cherries.

Q. What is black, white and red?
A. A panda with a rash!

Q. What is the cat's favorite button on the remote?
A. Paws.

Q. A rabbit hops by IHOP. He looks at the sign. What does he say?
A. "Big deal, so do I."

Q. What kind of vehicle does a lamb drive?
A. A LAMBorghini!

Q. Why are duck doctors so expensive?
A. Because of their bills.

Riddles continue below video…

Q. Why can't you take a test in the zoo?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. Why didn't the bunny hop?
A. No bunny knows.

Q. Why was the dog sitting next to the fire?
A. He was a hotdog!

Q. What is a cat's favorite color?
A. PURRple!

Q. Why did the monkey cross the road?
A. Because the chicken retired.

Q. What keys can make you laugh?
A. Monkeys!

Q. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a centipede?
A. Drumsticks for everyone!

Q. What does a chicken have in common with a band?
A. Drumsticks.

Q. What do you call a pig that gets fired from his job?
A. Canned ham!

Q. What card game do crocodiles like to play?
A. SNAP!

Q. What is a cow's favorite portrait?
A. MOOna Lisa!

Q. How do you make a goldfish age?
A. Take away the g in goldfish.

Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!

Q. What does a polar bear use to keep his head warm?
A. A polar ice cap.

Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. Pork Chop!

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. What animal is NOT allowed to play in games or contests?
A. Cheetahs (cheaters)

Q. What did the spider do when he went on his computer?
A. He went on his web site!

Q. What is black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
A. Two skunks fighting over a pickle.

Q. What did one lion say to another when they saw some hunters in a jeep?
A. "Look, meals on wheels!"

Q. Why did the sheep go to the movies?
A. To get some snAAAHks!

Q. Why did the cow go to Hollywood?
A. She wanted to be a movie star.

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.

Q. What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A. A cloud!

Q. What's black, white and blue all over?
A. A cold zebra.

Q. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A. A dino-snore!

Q. What do you call a chimp that likes to eat potato chips?
A. A chip-monk!

Q. Why do gorillas have broad fingers?
A. Because they have large nostrils.

Q. What do you call a dark colored horse that really scares you?
A. A nightMARE!

Q. What do you get when an elephant sky dives?
A. A big hole.

Q. What do you call an Italian cow that likes coffee?
A. De-calf.

Q. What's invisible and smells like carrots?
A. Bunny toots!

Q. What do you call a tiny rodent?
A. Mini mouse.

Q. What is the same size as a elephant, yet weighs nothing?
A. An elephant's shadow!

Q. Why did the frog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to show his girlfriend he had guts.

Q. Why did the turtle cross the street?
A. To get to the Shell station.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Amos
Amos who?
Amos quito just bit me, boo hoo!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know
To get to your house.
---
Knock, knock
Who's there?
The chicken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
A parrot
A parrot who?
A parrot who?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Who
Who who?
I didn't know you were an owl!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrup...
Moooooooo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Twit
Twit who?
Did anyone else hear an owl?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Owls
Owls who?
That's correct, owls who!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lionel
Lionel who?
Lionel bite you if you don't watch out!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Three pigs
Three pigs who?
Three pigs who can't reach the doorbell.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my carrots!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gorilla
Gorilla who?
Gorilla me a hamburger!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dinosaur
Dinosaur who?
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Monkey
Monkey who?
Monkey see. Monkey do.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cobra
Cobra who?
Go brush your teeth!!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Kanga
Kanga who?
No, Kangaroo!

Jokes

One day a duck waddles into a mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck does the same and once again the clerk says no and adds if you ask me one more time I will nail your webbed feet to the floor. So the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any nails?" The clerk says no. "Then got any grapes?"
 

Once there was a scientist doing a test on a frog. He told the frog to jump, so it jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "4 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's front legs and said, "Jump." The frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "3 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off the frog's other front leg and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "2 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's back legs and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. So the scientist wrote in his notes, "1 leg jump."

Then the scientist cut off the last leg and said, "Jump," and the frog didn't move. So the scientist said it again, but it still didn't move, so in his notes the scientist wrote, "No legs-goes deaf."
 

One day a big tortoise, a middle sized tortoise and a small tortoise went into a cafe. They ordered three banana splits. While they were waiting they noticed it had begun to rain. "Look at that," said the big tortoise, "we should have brought our umbrella."
"You're right," said the middle tortoise. "Let's send the little one back to get it."
"I'll go," said the little one. "But only if you promise not to eat my banana split."
The big tortoise and the middle tortoise promised.

A few days later the big tortoise said to the middle tortoise, "Come on, let's eat his banana spilt any way."
"All right," said the middle tortoise.
At that moment the little tortoise shouted from the end of the cafe, "You do that and I won't get your umbrella!"
 

When my brother told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
 

Tongue Twister: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk but the stump thunk the skunk stunk!
 

A horse walked into the bar and the bartender said, "Why the long face?"
 

A man decided to start a chicken farm and brought 24 to get started. A week later he bought another 24 and another 24 the week after that. When his friend asked how his chicken farm was coming along the man replied, "Not one of them has grown yet. I wonder if I'm planting them too deep?"
 

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
 

Three pigs walked into a restaurant and the waiter asked them what they would like to drink. The first pig wanted Coke, the second Sprite and the third wanted water, lots and lots of water.

The waiter came back to ask for the main course and the first pig wanted salad, the second wanted chicken and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water.

The waiter came back and asked for their dessert choices. The first pig wanted cake, the second wanted cupcakes and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water.

The waiter was curious and asked the third pig, "Why do you want so much water?"
The third little pig smiled and said, "I'm the little pig that goes, wee, wee, wee all the way home"
 

There were 2 cats looking into a green canary's cage. The first cat said to the second cat, "That's not a canary, it's green!"
The second cat said, "I don't know, maybe it's not ripe yet!"
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

Bob: I lost my dog today.
Bill: So put an ad in the paper.
Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

There were two cows standing in a field talking to each other. They were talking about Mr. Brown's cows having Mad Cow Disease, when one of the cows said, "It's a good thing we're chickens."
 

Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant?
Mother: I don't know.
Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.
 

A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo.

The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo."
The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
 

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had.
Latangela: What did the lion do?
LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
 

Mary had a little lamb,
But the lamb started to tease her.
Mary said, "STOP!"
But the lamb refused
So now it's in the freezer.
 

A newspaper reporter submitted a story about the theft of 2,025 pigs.
His editor, struck at the size of the theft, called the farmer to confirm.
"Is it true that you lost two thousand twenty-five pigs?" he asked.
"Yeth," said the farmer.
The editor thanked him, hung up, and changed the phrase to "two sows and 25 pigs."
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

A man walked into a pub and bought a sandwich, then a panda walked into the pub and stole the sandwich, ate it, shoots the barman and leaves. So the man goes out and says to the panda, "Why did you eat my sandwich, shoot the barman and then just leave?"
The panda says, "Look panda up in the dictionary."
So he looked Panda up and read: Eats shoots and leaves.
 

One day, Ah Meng asked Siew Lee, "Why do lions eat raw meat?"
Siew Lee said, "Because they are wild animals?"
Ah Meng said, "Wrong! They eat raw meat because they can't cook!"
 

There was a man who bought a camel. The previous owner told him that to make it walk, say "few," to make it run, say "many" and to make it stop say "amen". So one day the man decided to have a practise ride. He said "few" and the camel started walking, he said "many" and it started running, right towards the edge of a cliff. But the man forgot how to make it stop, so, panicking, he shouted out "Lord save me, Lord save me, Amen" and of course the camel stopped - at the VERY edge. Relieved the man said to himself, "Phew, that was clo-aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
 

Down in the south where coconuts grow, an elephant stepped on a mosquito's toe. The mosquito jumped up with tears in his eyes and said, "Excuse me but you're not my size."
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

There were three pigs and they walked into a restaurant. The waiter said, "What do you want to eat?" The first pig ordered fish and chips the second ordered pizza and the third ordered water.

The waiter came again and said, "What do you want for dessert?" The first pig wanted custard, the second some cake and the third wanted water again. The waiter said, "Why do you always have water?"
The pig replied, "Because one of us has to go wee, wee, wee all the way home!"
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

Two turtles were walking across the road, when suddenly a bright red car came racing around the corner and straight for them, one said to the other, "RUN!"
 

There were 3 cats, The first cat said, "Meow."
Second cat said, "Meow."
Third cat said, "Meow, meow."
The first cat said, "Don't change the subject."
 

A little boy was in a wedding. Every time he walked 2 steps down the aisle, he would roar. When he finally got to the end of the aisle the people asked what he was doing. The little boy said that he was just being the Ring Bear.
 

There's this man, he walks up to this lady's door. The lady answers it. The man says, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat. I'd like to replace it." Then the woman says. "How good are you at catching mice?"
 

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