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Funny animal jokes for Kids

Animal Jokes for Kids

Read our collection of funny animal jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for kids. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Animal jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Why were the hyenas laughing? They were reading Squigly's jokes and riddles! These are jokes about any creature that walks, swims, crawls or flies! Animal riddles are for everyone! Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A. A BULL-dozer.

Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!

Q. What do a car, tree and an elephant have in common?
A. They all have trunks!

Q. What do a tree and an elephant have in common?
A. A trunk.

Q. Why did the sheep go to the movies?
A. To get some snAAAHks!

Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.

Q. What did the sun say to the sheep and the cloud?
A. "Whoa, are y'all related?"

Q. What did the elephant say to her son when he was naughty?
A. "Tusk tusk!"

Q. Why aren't dogs good dancers?
A. They have two left feet.

Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.

Q. What is smaller then a talking cat?
A. A spelling bee.

Q. Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?
A. So he wouldn't get his tennis shoes wet.

Q. How do you make a milkshake?
A. Sneak up behind a cow and say boo!

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. Where does a penguin go to visit his aunt?
A. ANT-arctica!

Q. What are the strongest animals in the ocean?
A. Mussels!

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because she was getting tired of just standing there!

Q. What do you call a kangaroo that sneezes alot?
A. A kanga-choo.

Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. A penguin doing 100 push ups.

Q. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A. An investiGATOR!

Q. Which animal is the oldest in the world?
A. The zebra because it's still black and white.

Q. What does a polar bear use to keep his head warm?
A. A polar ice cap.

Q. How do you make a cow float?
A. Root beer, ice cream, a cherry, and a cow.

Q. What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an elephant?
A. Great big holes all over Australia.

Q. I am found on land and in the sea but I don't walk or swim. I travel by foot but I'm toeless. No matter where I go I'm never far from home. Who am I?
A. A snail.

Q. How does a elephant get out of a tree?
A. He climbs on a leaf and waits till autumn!

Q. If the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side, how did the frog cross the road?
A. He tied himself to the chicken.

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. Why did the turtle cross the street?
A. To get to the Shell station.

Q. What do you get when you mix a bear and a skunk?
A. Winnie-The-Phew!

Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A. Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?!

Q. Why did the elephant paint his fingernails red?
A. So he could hide in a bowl of cherries.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits in a chair?
A. Time to buy a new chair!

Q. What animal is NOT allowed to play in games or contests?
A. Cheetahs (cheaters)

Q. How does a rabbit throw a tantrum?
A. He gets hopping mad.

Q. What is a pampered cow?
A. Spoiled milk.

Riddles continue below video…

Q. Why did the lamb go to the river?
A. To get a BAA-th!

Q. What animal is good with tools?
A. Hammer-head shark!

Q. Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road?
A. Because roads weren't invented yet!

Q. Where do horses go when they are sick?
A. HORSEpital.

Q. What bird is always sad?
A. A blue-bird.

Q. Why did the cow want some cheese?
A. Because it's MOOlicious!

Q. What animal should you not play cards with?
A. A Cheetah!

Q. What's new at the zoo?
A. A gnu!

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because he was tired of living beside KFC!

Q. Why was the walrus late for the party?
A. His iceberg ran into a ship!

Q. What goes BOUNCE! OUCH! BOUNCE! OUCH! BOUNCE! OUCH?
A. A kangaroo in a room with a low ceiling!

Q. What do you call elephants that swim?
A. Swimming trunks!

Q. What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A. He called a tow truck.

Q. Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to see his flat mate!

Q. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A. A pouch potato.

Q. What do you call a pig that gets fired from his job?
A. Canned ham!

Q. What is black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
A. Two skunks fighting over a pickle.

Q. What is a cow's favorite portrait?
A. MOOna Lisa!

Q. What do you call a reptile that sings?
A. A RAPtile!

Q. What do you call a cow with no legs?
A. Ground beef.

Q. How do you stop a rhino from charging?
A. Take away its credit card.

Q. How do you get 6 donkeys into a fire engine?
A. Two in the front, two in the back and two on the top going, "He-haw, he-haw!"

Q. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A. Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!

Q. Why did the horse cross the road?
A. To get to the other NEIGH-bourhood.

Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.

Q. What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A. Doyouthinkhesarus?

Q. What is a cow's favourite drink?
A. MOO Juice.

Q. What has two heads, one tail and six legs?
A. A man on a horse.

Q. What do eskimos call their cows?
A. Eski-MOOS.

Q. If there was a spelling test, which animal would win?
A. The bee!

Q. Why don't they play cards in Africa?
A. There are too many Cheetahs!

Q. Why doesn't the elephant use the computer?
A. Because it is afraid of the mouse!

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get to the other side.

Q. Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
A. Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.

Q. Where do beavers and hamsters live together?
A. Hamsterdam.

Q. Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?
A. MOO-tels!

Q. What does a frog eat with his hamburger?
A. French Flies!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Amos
Amos who?
Amos quito just bit me, boo hoo!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know
To get to your house.
---
Knock, knock
Who's there?
The chicken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
A parrot
A parrot who?
A parrot who?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Who
Who who?
I didn't know you were an owl!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrup...
Moooooooo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Twit
Twit who?
Did anyone else hear an owl?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Owls
Owls who?
That's correct, owls who!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lionel
Lionel who?
Lionel bite you if you don't watch out!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Three pigs
Three pigs who?
Three pigs who can't reach the doorbell.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my carrots!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gorilla
Gorilla who?
Gorilla me a hamburger!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dinosaur
Dinosaur who?
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Monkey
Monkey who?
Monkey see. Monkey do.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cobra
Cobra who?
Go brush your teeth!!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Kanga
Kanga who?
No, Kangaroo!

Jokes

There were two cows standing in a field talking to each other. They were talking about Mr. Brown's cows having Mad Cow Disease, when one of the cows said, "It's a good thing we're chickens."
 

Policeman: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle.
Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.
 

There was a man and he was walking a lion on the side of the street when a policeman came and said, "Sir please don't walk your lion on the side of the street because its very dangerous. Why don't you take him to the zoo?!"
The man agreed with him and took his lion to the zoo.

The next day the policeman saw the man walking his lion again and told him the same thing but the man said, "I already took him to the zoo and he liked it a lot, now I'm going to take him to the movies."
 

Mary had a little lamb,
But the lamb started to tease her.
Mary said, "STOP!"
But the lamb refused
So now it's in the freezer.
 

Once there was a scientist doing a test on a frog. He told the frog to jump, so it jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "4 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's front legs and said, "Jump." The frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "3 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off the frog's other front leg and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "2 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's back legs and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. So the scientist wrote in his notes, "1 leg jump."

Then the scientist cut off the last leg and said, "Jump," and the frog didn't move. So the scientist said it again, but it still didn't move, so in his notes the scientist wrote, "No legs-goes deaf."
 

One day a big tortoise, a middle sized tortoise and a small tortoise went into a cafe. They ordered three banana splits. While they were waiting they noticed it had begun to rain. "Look at that," said the big tortoise, "we should have brought our umbrella."
"You're right," said the middle tortoise. "Let's send the little one back to get it."
"I'll go," said the little one. "But only if you promise not to eat my banana split."
The big tortoise and the middle tortoise promised.

A few days later the big tortoise said to the middle tortoise, "Come on, let's eat his banana spilt any way."
"All right," said the middle tortoise.
At that moment the little tortoise shouted from the end of the cafe, "You do that and I won't get your umbrella!"
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had.
Latangela: What did the lion do?
LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
 

When my brother told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
 

There's this man, he walks up to this lady's door. The lady answers it. The man says, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat. I'd like to replace it." Then the woman says. "How good are you at catching mice?"
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

A cat died in a house. The servant started crying badly.
Master: It is only a cat that has died, why are you crying so much?
Servant: Master, when the cat was there I used to drink the milk and put the blame on it. Now on whom will I put the blame?
 

A man decided to start a chicken farm and brought 24 to get started. A week later he bought another 24 and another 24 the week after that. When his friend asked how his chicken farm was coming along the man replied, "Not one of them has grown yet. I wonder if I'm planting them too deep?"
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

The pillow asks the teddy bear, "Do you want an ice cream sundae?" The bear says, "No thanks, I'm stuffed!"
 

Two turtles were walking across the road, when suddenly a bright red car came racing around the corner and straight for them, one said to the other, "RUN!"
 

Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant?
Mother: I don't know.
Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.
 

Snake 1: I hope I'm not poisonous.
Snake 2: Why?
Snake 1: Because I just bit my tongue.
 

A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo.

The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo."
The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
 

If pigs could fly, imagine what their wings would taste like!
 

A mother snake bought a gift for her son's birthday. The son was so thrilled he hissed, "Mommy! Help me open it. I'm crawling out of my skin with excitement!"
 

There were 3 cats, The first cat said, "Meow."
Second cat said, "Meow."
Third cat said, "Meow, meow."
The first cat said, "Don't change the subject."
 

A newspaper reporter submitted a story about the theft of 2,025 pigs.
His editor, struck at the size of the theft, called the farmer to confirm.
"Is it true that you lost two thousand twenty-five pigs?" he asked.
"Yeth," said the farmer.
The editor thanked him, hung up, and changed the phrase to "two sows and 25 pigs."
 

"Ggggggggggggggggggggggggggg," said the frog.
"You've got a frog in your throat," said the other frog.
 

One day a lady entered a pet shop.
Lady: May I have a rabbit for my daughter?
Storekeeper: Sorry Ma'am, we don't do trades.
 

There were two sisters and they had $700 to spend on a bull. So one sister stayed home and looked after the farm while the other went to the auction. The sister brought the bull for $699 so she went to the post office and asked how much it was to send a telegram. It was $1 a word. So she told the man to send the word: Comfortable. (Come-for-the-bull.)
 

A little boy was in a wedding. Every time he walked 2 steps down the aisle, he would roar. When he finally got to the end of the aisle the people asked what he was doing. The little boy said that he was just being the Ring Bear.
 

There was a man who bought a camel. The previous owner told him that to make it walk, say "few," to make it run, say "many" and to make it stop say "amen". So one day the man decided to have a practise ride. He said "few" and the camel started walking, he said "many" and it started running, right towards the edge of a cliff. But the man forgot how to make it stop, so, panicking, he shouted out "Lord save me, Lord save me, Amen" and of course the camel stopped - at the VERY edge. Relieved the man said to himself, "Phew, that was clo-aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
 

A horse walked into the bar and the bartender said, "Why the long face?"
 

Three pigs walked into a restaurant and the waiter asked them what they would like to drink. The first pig wanted Coke, the second Sprite and the third wanted water, lots and lots of water.

The waiter came back to ask for the main course and the first pig wanted salad, the second wanted chicken and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water.

The waiter came back and asked for their dessert choices. The first pig wanted cake, the second wanted cupcakes and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water.

The waiter was curious and asked the third pig, "Why do you want so much water?"
The third little pig smiled and said, "I'm the little pig that goes, wee, wee, wee all the way home"
 

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