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Funny animal jokes for Kids

Animal Jokes for Kids

Read our collection of funny animal jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for kids. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Animal jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Why were the hyenas laughing? They were reading Squigly's jokes and riddles! These are jokes about any creature that walks, swims, crawls or flies! Animal riddles are for everyone! Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. What is the difference between a piano and a fish?
A. You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish!

Q. What kind of bats swing upside down?
A. AcroBATS!

Q. What do you call a deaf dinosaur?
A. Anything you like, he can't hear you!

Q. Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A. To stomp out forest fires.

Q. How do you make a cow float?
A. Root beer, ice cream, a cherry, and a cow.

Q. Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
A. Because their feet stink.

Q. There were two elephants under one umbrella, why didn't they get wet?
A. It wasn't raining.

Q. What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
A. Lost.

Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. To get to the MOOvies.

Q. Why was the crab arrested?
A. For pinching!

Q. What do you call a cow with no legs?
A. Ground beef.

Q. Why did the frog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to show his girlfriend he had guts.

Q. Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
A. Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.

Q. What does a gorilla say when he is hungry?
A. "Gorilla me a burger."

Q. What do fish eat for lunch?
A. SANDwiches!

Q. What do you call elephants that swim?
A. Swimming trunks!

Q. What's an angry bull's favourite drink?
A. Red Bull.

Q. What kind of horses have 6 legs?
A. The ones that are being ridden!

Q. Why do elephants have trunks?
A. Because they would look funny with a suitcase.

Q. What sort of appliance does a monkey use?
A. A gorilla. (A griller)

Q. What kind of car does a cow drive?
A. A CATTLEac.

Q. How does a elephant get out of a tree?
A. He climbs on a leaf and waits till autumn!

Q. Why don't you see penguins in Britian?
A. They're afraid of Wales!

Q. How do you make a goldfish age?
A. Take away the g in goldfish.

Q. What do mice feel like when they come out of the shower?
A. Squeaky clean!

Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.

Q. Where do you get draggin' milk?
A. From a cow with short legs.

Q. What animal carries an umbrella around?
A. A reindeer!

Q. How did the sheep get red cheeks?
A. It was MAAHD!

Q. What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left for school?
A. Bison!

Q. What is the same size as a elephant, yet weighs nothing?
A. An elephant's shadow!

Q. What did the dragon say after laying 50 eggs?
A. "I'm EGGShausted!"

Q. What does a toad say when it sees something great?
A. "TOADaly Awesome!"

Q. Which animal is the oldest in the world?
A. The zebra because it's still black and white.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. What place has the most cows?
A. Moo York. (New York)

Q. Why did the elephant paint his fingernails red?
A. So he could hide in a bowl of cherries.

Q. What do you call a frog that parks in a tow away zone?
A. A TOAD away zone.

Riddles continue below video…

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. Why did the sheep go to the movies?
A. To get some snAAAHks!

Q. What is a cow's favorite ice cream?
A. MOOnila!

Q. What 2 animals have the same last name?
A. The donKEY and the monKEY.

Q. What was Mr. Cow and Mrs. Cow's favorite time together?
A. When they went on their honeyMOOn.

Q. What has 6 legs, 4 eyes, 4 ears, 2 noses, 2 mouths and 2 heads?
A. A man sitting on a horse.

Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.

Q. Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?
A. So he wouldn't get his tennis shoes wet.

Q. What is white on the outside, green on the inside and hops?
A. A frog sandwich.

Q. Why do you never ask a dinosaur to read you a story?
A. Because their tales are so long.

Q. What card game do crocodiles like to play?
A. SNAP!

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get to the other side.

Q. What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?
A. A wonkey.

Q. What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
A. Open TOAD sandals.

Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Q. Why did the horse cross the road?
A. To get to the other NEIGH-bourhood.

Q. Why did the cow go to Hollywood?
A. She wanted to be a movie star.

Q. What do you get when you cross a lamb and a rocket?
A. A space sheep!

Q. What is black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
A. Two skunks fighting over a pickle.

Q. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A. Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!

Q. What do you call a kangaroo that sneezes alot?
A. A kanga-choo.

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No idea. (No eye deer)

Q. Why doesn't the elephant use the computer?
A. Because it is afraid of the mouse!

Q. What three animals have keys?
A. Donkeys, monkeys, and turkeys!

Q. What animal has a crown on its head?
A. A rooster.

Q. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A. An investiGATOR!

Q. Why did the farmer let his cows eat the tall grass?
A. Because it needed to get moooed! (Mowed)

Q. What did one lion say to another when they saw some hunters in a jeep?
A. "Look, meals on wheels!"

Q. Why don't they play cards in Africa?
A. There are too many Cheetahs!

Q. There is a horse tied to a rope five yards long. Ten yards away there is hay. The horse is eating the hay, how did he get there?
A. The rope isn't tied to anything.

Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.

Q. What animal is good with tools?
A. Hammer-head shark!

Q. Why do elephants have trunks?
A. They'd look pretty stupid with glove compartments.

Q. What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A. A milkshake!

Q. Where does a bunny go if you give it a pair of socks?
A. A sock hop.

Q. How do you know clams are lazy?
A. They are always in their beds.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow with a smurf?
A. Blue cheese!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Amos
Amos who?
Amos quito just bit me, boo hoo!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know
To get to your house.
---
Knock, knock
Who's there?
The chicken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
A parrot
A parrot who?
A parrot who?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Who
Who who?
I didn't know you were an owl!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrup...
Moooooooo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Twit
Twit who?
Did anyone else hear an owl?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Owls
Owls who?
That's correct, owls who!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lionel
Lionel who?
Lionel bite you if you don't watch out!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Three pigs
Three pigs who?
Three pigs who can't reach the doorbell.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my carrots!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gorilla
Gorilla who?
Gorilla me a hamburger!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dinosaur
Dinosaur who?
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Monkey
Monkey who?
Monkey see. Monkey do.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cobra
Cobra who?
Go brush your teeth!!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Kanga
Kanga who?
No, Kangaroo!

Jokes

There's this man, he walks up to this lady's door. The lady answers it. The man says, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat. I'd like to replace it." Then the woman says. "How good are you at catching mice?"
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me."
The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese."
The poodle replied, "How childish"
The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese."
"You're hopeless," said the poodle.
The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

There were 2 cats looking into a green canary's cage. The first cat said to the second cat, "That's not a canary, it's green!"
The second cat said, "I don't know, maybe it's not ripe yet!"
 

Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant?
Mother: I don't know.
Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.
 

There was a man who bought a camel. The previous owner told him that to make it walk, say "few," to make it run, say "many" and to make it stop say "amen". So one day the man decided to have a practise ride. He said "few" and the camel started walking, he said "many" and it started running, right towards the edge of a cliff. But the man forgot how to make it stop, so, panicking, he shouted out "Lord save me, Lord save me, Amen" and of course the camel stopped - at the VERY edge. Relieved the man said to himself, "Phew, that was clo-aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

There was a man and he was walking a lion on the side of the street when a policeman came and said, "Sir please don't walk your lion on the side of the street because its very dangerous. Why don't you take him to the zoo?!"
The man agreed with him and took his lion to the zoo.

The next day the policeman saw the man walking his lion again and told him the same thing but the man said, "I already took him to the zoo and he liked it a lot, now I'm going to take him to the movies."
 

A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo.

The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo."
The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
 

Three pigs walked into a restaurant and the waiter asked them what they would like to drink. The first pig wanted Coke, the second Sprite and the third wanted water, lots and lots of water.

The waiter came back to ask for the main course and the first pig wanted salad, the second wanted chicken and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water.

The waiter came back and asked for their dessert choices. The first pig wanted cake, the second wanted cupcakes and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water.

The waiter was curious and asked the third pig, "Why do you want so much water?"
The third little pig smiled and said, "I'm the little pig that goes, wee, wee, wee all the way home"
 

Snake 1: I hope I'm not poisonous.
Snake 2: Why?
Snake 1: Because I just bit my tongue.
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

Bob: I lost my dog today.
Bill: So put an ad in the paper.
Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

If pigs could fly, imagine what their wings would taste like!
 

The pillow asks the teddy bear, "Do you want an ice cream sundae?" The bear says, "No thanks, I'm stuffed!"
 

A newspaper reporter submitted a story about the theft of 2,025 pigs.
His editor, struck at the size of the theft, called the farmer to confirm.
"Is it true that you lost two thousand twenty-five pigs?" he asked.
"Yeth," said the farmer.
The editor thanked him, hung up, and changed the phrase to "two sows and 25 pigs."
 

Tongue Twister: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk but the stump thunk the skunk stunk!
 

A man decided to start a chicken farm and brought 24 to get started. A week later he bought another 24 and another 24 the week after that. When his friend asked how his chicken farm was coming along the man replied, "Not one of them has grown yet. I wonder if I'm planting them too deep?"
 

Two turtles were walking across the road, when suddenly a bright red car came racing around the corner and straight for them, one said to the other, "RUN!"
 

Once there was a scientist doing a test on a frog. He told the frog to jump, so it jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "4 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's front legs and said, "Jump." The frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "3 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off the frog's other front leg and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "2 legs-jumps."

Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's back legs and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. So the scientist wrote in his notes, "1 leg jump."

Then the scientist cut off the last leg and said, "Jump," and the frog didn't move. So the scientist said it again, but it still didn't move, so in his notes the scientist wrote, "No legs-goes deaf."
 

A cat died in a house. The servant started crying badly.
Master: It is only a cat that has died, why are you crying so much?
Servant: Master, when the cat was there I used to drink the milk and put the blame on it. Now on whom will I put the blame?
 

There were two sisters and they had $700 to spend on a bull. So one sister stayed home and looked after the farm while the other went to the auction. The sister brought the bull for $699 so she went to the post office and asked how much it was to send a telegram. It was $1 a word. So she told the man to send the word: Comfortable. (Come-for-the-bull.)
 

There were 3 cats, The first cat said, "Meow."
Second cat said, "Meow."
Third cat said, "Meow, meow."
The first cat said, "Don't change the subject."
 

Policeman: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle.
Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.
 

"Ggggggggggggggggggggggggggg," said the frog.
"You've got a frog in your throat," said the other frog.
 

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had.
Latangela: What did the lion do?
LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?"
The guy replied,"No."
The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled.
"That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

A horse walked into the bar and the bartender said, "Why the long face?"
 

One day a duck waddles into a mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck does the same and once again the clerk says no and adds if you ask me one more time I will nail your webbed feet to the floor. So the duck waddles out.

The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any nails?" The clerk says no. "Then got any grapes?"
 

When my brother told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
 

Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "Oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches."
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
 

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