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Funny animal jokes for Kids

Animal Jokes for Kids

Read our collection of funny animal jokes for kids! All our jokes and riddles have been screened to ensure they are appropriate for kids. Share them with your kids and friends. Did you know that riddles promote creative thinking in children? Why not memorize a few and share them at home, on the go or in the classroom. Animal jokes and riddles for kids by kids.

Why were the hyenas laughing? They were reading Squigly's jokes and riddles! These are jokes about any creature that walks, swims, crawls or flies! Animal riddles are for everyone! Read our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes! Many of these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these jokes will make you laugh out loud! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.

Q. What did the crocodile say to the waiter in the cafe?
A. I want bacon, eggs, and toast and make it SNAPPY!

Q. Why do fish live in salt water?
A. Because pepper water would make them sneeze!

Q. What cat likes living in water?
A. An octoPUSS!

Q. What do you call elephants that swim?
A. Swimming trunks!

Q. Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?
A. So he wouldn't get his tennis shoes wet.

Q. Why don't they play cards in Africa?
A. There are too many Cheetahs!

Q. What is green and hangs off trees?
A. Giraffe snot.

Q. Where does a bunny go if you give it a pair of socks?
A. A sock hop.

Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. Pork Chop!

Q. What did the cow say to the other cow?
A. "MOOve over!"

Q. What do you call a rabbit with the sniffles?
A. A runny bunny.

Q. What planet is full of cows?
A. The MOOn!

Q. How do you stop an alligator wriggling in the back of your car?
A. Move it to the front!

Q. Where do horses go when they are sick?
A. HORSEpital.

Q. How come a cheetah can't play hide and seek?
A. Because he's already been spotted.

Q. What's new at the zoo?
A. A gnu!

Q. Where do ducks go when they are sick?
A. The DUCKtor!

Q. What animal has a crown on its head?
A. A rooster.

Q. How do you make a swordfish like the library?
A. Take away the S in its name!

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. Why was the horse unable to get into the antelopes' music club?
A. He had no horns!

Q. What kind of bird uses ink to write?
A. A PEN-guin!

Q. What did the snail say when he was riding on the back of a turtle?
A. "Weeeee!"

Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.

Q. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A. Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!

Q. What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
A. Ouchy, mama!

Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.

Q. What's brown and blue and swings through the jungle?
A. A monkey wearing a denim jacket!

Q. Why did the cow want some cheese?
A. Because it's MOOlicious!

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To show the possums how it's done.

Q. Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?
A. Because he had a big bill.

Q. What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
A. Open TOAD sandals.

Q. Which animal is the oldest in the world?
A. The zebra because it's still black and white.

Q. Why did the dinosaur bring string to the baseball game?
A. He wanted to tie up the score!

Q. What's black and white and can climb trees?
A. A panda.

Q. There are 10 cats in a boat. One cat jumped out of the boat. How many cats were left?
A. None, they were all copycats.

Riddles continue below video…

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get to the other side.

Q. What's an angry bull's favourite drink?
A. Red Bull.

Q. There are ten cats on a boat. One jumps off, how many are left?
A. None, they were all copy cats!

Q. Why did the dinosaur wear a bandage?
A. Because he had a dino-SORE!

Q. What do you call a frog that parks in a tow away zone?
A. A TOAD away zone.

Q. Why do cats always go after mice and birds?
A. Because cats like fast food.

Q. What kind of bats swing upside down?
A. AcroBATS!

Q. What is the difference between a piano and a fish?
A. You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish!

Q. What do you need if you see a kangaroo 20 miles away?
A. I don't know, but you sure don't need glasses.

Q. How do you know clams are lazy?
A. They are always in their beds.

Q. What is a pampered cow?
A. Spoiled milk.

Q. Why did the elephant paint his fingernails red?
A. So he could hide in a bowl of cherries.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow with a smurf?
A. Blue cheese!

Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!

Q. Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
A. Because their feet stink.

Q. What is the same size as a elephant, yet weighs nothing?
A. An elephant's shadow!

Q. What do a car, tree and an elephant have in common?
A. They all have trunks!

Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.

Q. Why did the frog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to show his girlfriend he had guts.

Q. What is black, white and red all over?
A. An embarassed zebra!

Q. Why didn't the squirrel cross the telephone wire?
A. Because the line was busy.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because he was tired of living beside KFC!

Q. Why do you never ask a dinosaur to read you a story?
A. Because their tales are so long.

Q. If the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side, how did the frog cross the road?
A. He tied himself to the chicken.

Q. Where do you get draggin' milk?
A. From a cow with short legs.

Q. Which day is mostly avoided by fish?
A. FRYday!

Q. What has 6 legs, 4 eyes, 4 ears, 2 noses, 2 mouths and 2 heads?
A. A man sitting on a horse.

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. Where do famous dragons go after they retire?
A. The hall of flame!

Q. What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left for school?
A. Bison!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. Why did the leopard refuse to take a bath?
A. It didn't want to come out spotless.

Q. What do beavers like on their salad?
A. Branch dressing.

Q. Why don't penguins live in Britain?
A. Because they're scared of Wales!

Q. What are the strongest animals in the ocean?
A. Mussels!

Q. One cow is talking to another cow and looks away for 10 seconds and the other cow is gone. Where is the other cow?
A. Over the moon!

Q. How do you catch a rabbit?
A. Make a noise like a carrot.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Amos
Amos who?
Amos quito just bit me, boo hoo!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know
To get to your house.
---
Knock, knock
Who's there?
The chicken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
A parrot
A parrot who?
A parrot who?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Who
Who who?
I didn't know you were an owl!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrup...
Moooooooo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Twit
Twit who?
Did anyone else hear an owl?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Owls
Owls who?
That's correct, owls who!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lionel
Lionel who?
Lionel bite you if you don't watch out!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Three pigs
Three pigs who?
Three pigs who can't reach the doorbell.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my carrots!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gorilla
Gorilla who?
Gorilla me a hamburger!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dinosaur
Dinosaur who?
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Monkey
Monkey who?
Monkey see. Monkey do.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cobra
Cobra who?
Go brush your teeth!!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Kanga
Kanga who?
No, Kangaroo!

Jokes

There's this man, he walks up to this lady's door. The lady answers it. The man says, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat. I'd like to replace it." Then the woman says. "How good are you at catching mice?"
 

One day, Ah Meng asked Siew Lee, "Why do lions eat raw meat?"
Siew Lee said, "Because they are wild animals?"
Ah Meng said, "Wrong! They eat raw meat because they can't cook!"
 

When my brother told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
 

Down in the south where coconuts grow, an elephant stepped on a mosquito's toe. The mosquito jumped up with tears in his eyes and said, "Excuse me but you're not my size."
 

Snake 1: I hope I'm not poisonous.
Snake 2: Why?
Snake 1: Because I just bit my tongue.
 

One day a big tortoise, a middle sized tortoise and a small tortoise went into a cafe. They ordered three banana splits. While they were waiting they noticed it had begun to rain. "Look at that," said the big tortoise, "we should have brought our umbrella."
"You're right," said the middle tortoise. "Let's send the little one back to get it."
"I'll go," said the little one. "But only if you promise not to eat my banana split."
The big tortoise and the middle tortoise promised.

A few days later the big tortoise said to the middle tortoise, "Come on, let's eat his banana spilt any way."
"All right," said the middle tortoise.
At that moment the little tortoise shouted from the end of the cafe, "You do that and I won't get your umbrella!"
 

Two turtles were walking across the road, when suddenly a bright red car came racing around the corner and straight for them, one said to the other, "RUN!"
 

If pigs could fly, imagine what their wings would taste like!
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

Policeman: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle.
Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.
 

There were two cows standing in a field talking to each other. They were talking about Mr. Brown's cows having Mad Cow Disease, when one of the cows said, "It's a good thing we're chickens."
 

A man decided to start a chicken farm and brought 24 to get started. A week later he bought another 24 and another 24 the week after that. When his friend asked how his chicken farm was coming along the man replied, "Not one of them has grown yet. I wonder if I'm planting them too deep?"
 

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had.
Latangela: What did the lion do?
LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
 

A newspaper reporter submitted a story about the theft of 2,025 pigs.
His editor, struck at the size of the theft, called the farmer to confirm.
"Is it true that you lost two thousand twenty-five pigs?" he asked.
"Yeth," said the farmer.
The editor thanked him, hung up, and changed the phrase to "two sows and 25 pigs."
 

A little boy was in a wedding. Every time he walked 2 steps down the aisle, he would roar. When he finally got to the end of the aisle the people asked what he was doing. The little boy said that he was just being the Ring Bear.
 

Three pigs walked into a restaurant and the waiter asked them what they would like to drink. The first pig wanted Coke, the second Sprite and the third wanted water, lots and lots of water.

The waiter came back to ask for the main course and the first pig wanted salad, the second wanted chicken and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water.

The waiter came back and asked for their dessert choices. The first pig wanted cake, the second wanted cupcakes and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water.

The waiter was curious and asked the third pig, "Why do you want so much water?"
The third little pig smiled and said, "I'm the little pig that goes, wee, wee, wee all the way home"
 

"Ggggggggggggggggggggggggggg," said the frog.
"You've got a frog in your throat," said the other frog.
 

There were two sisters and they had $700 to spend on a bull. So one sister stayed home and looked after the farm while the other went to the auction. The sister brought the bull for $699 so she went to the post office and asked how much it was to send a telegram. It was $1 a word. So she told the man to send the word: Comfortable. (Come-for-the-bull.)
 

The pillow asks the teddy bear, "Do you want an ice cream sundae?" The bear says, "No thanks, I'm stuffed!"
 

There was a man who bought a camel. The previous owner told him that to make it walk, say "few," to make it run, say "many" and to make it stop say "amen". So one day the man decided to have a practise ride. He said "few" and the camel started walking, he said "many" and it started running, right towards the edge of a cliff. But the man forgot how to make it stop, so, panicking, he shouted out "Lord save me, Lord save me, Amen" and of course the camel stopped - at the VERY edge. Relieved the man said to himself, "Phew, that was clo-aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
 

Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant?
Mother: I don't know.
Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
 

There was a man and he was walking a lion on the side of the street when a policeman came and said, "Sir please don't walk your lion on the side of the street because its very dangerous. Why don't you take him to the zoo?!"
The man agreed with him and took his lion to the zoo.

The next day the policeman saw the man walking his lion again and told him the same thing but the man said, "I already took him to the zoo and he liked it a lot, now I'm going to take him to the movies."
 

Mary had a little lamb,
But the lamb started to tease her.
Mary said, "STOP!"
But the lamb refused
So now it's in the freezer.
 

Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "Oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches."
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
 

A cat died in a house. The servant started crying badly.
Master: It is only a cat that has died, why are you crying so much?
Servant: Master, when the cat was there I used to drink the milk and put the blame on it. Now on whom will I put the blame?
 

A horse walked into the bar and the bartender said, "Why the long face?"
 

An elephant asked an ant, "Please hide me." So the ant replied, "Hide behind me."
 

A mother snake bought a gift for her son's birthday. The son was so thrilled he hissed, "Mommy! Help me open it. I'm crawling out of my skin with excitement!"
 

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