Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

Read our huge collection of riddles. These funny jokes are sure to make you LOL!

Q. What letter of the alphabet has the most water?
A. The letter C!

Q. Why did the girl jump up and down before taking her medicine?
A. Because the label said: Shake well before using!

Q. What do you call an overweight E.T.?
A. Extra Cholesterol!

Q. What did the tree say to the light bulb?
A. "Hey! Just had a bright idea!"

Q. What language does a billboard speak?
A. Sign language.

Q. What's tasty but dangerous?
A. A mouse trap.

Q. What did the fish say to the other fish?
A. "(O)(o)(O)(o)(O)" (Hello)

Q. What is a volcano?
A. A mountain with hiccups!

Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
A. MONSTERizer!

Q. Where will you find the biggest rope in the world?
A. In EuROPE!

Q. What has words but never speaks?
A. A book.

Q. What is a 3 letter word that gets bigger when you add 3 letters?
A. Big!

Q. What kind of bird uses ink to write?
A. A PEN-guin!

Q. What do you call a super hero who has lost his powers?
A. A super-zero.

Q. What does the Invisible Man drink at snack time?
A. Evaporated milk.


Q. What has four eyes but can't see?
A. Mississippi.

Q. Q. Rail road crossing, watch out for the cars, can you spell that with out any Rs?
A. T-H-A-T.

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. What is a shark's favourite food?
A. Fish and ships.

Q. What type of bed can fly?
A. A bed bug.

Q. Which pillar is not used in a building?
A. A caterpillar.

Q. What day has day in it but isn't Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or Saturday?
A. Today!

Q. What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and cuts grass?
A. A lawn MEOW-er!

Q. What's invisible and smells like carrots?
A. Bunny toots!

Q. What type of soap did the composer use?
A. Anti-BACH-terial.

Q. How do you throw a tent?
A. You pitch it!

Q. Why did the starfish breakup with the lobster?
A. Because he was SHELLfish.

Q. What loses its head every day and gets it back every night?
A. A pillow.

Q. Why did the TV go out with the heater?
A. Because he thought she was hot!

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Q. What is as light as a feather but not even the strongest man in the world can hold it for more than a few minutes?
A. Air!

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?
A. The Milky Baa-r kid.

Q. Why did the boy bury his flashlight?
A. Because the batteries were dead.

Q. One cow is talking to another cow and looks away for 10 seconds and the other cow is gone. Where is the other cow?
A. Over the moon!

Q. Did you hear about the man who got his left arm cut off?
A. He's all right now.

Q. What's a cow's favourite drink?
A. LeMOOnade.

Q. What sickness can fly?
A. The flu!

Q. Where do you send a soldier with a toothache?
A. To the drill sergeant!

Q. What's yesterday's tomorrow?
A. Today!

Q. Why doesn't a bald man need any keys?
A. Because he doesn't have any locks!

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a camel?
A. A lumpy milkshake!

Q. What are the strongest days of the week?
A. Saturday and Sunday because all the rest are WEAK days!

Q. What is black, white and red all over?
A. An embarassed zebra!

Q. Where do bees go after they are married?
A. On their HONEY-moon!

Q. What is big, brown, black, hairy, has 5 eyes, sharp teeth and big claws, and eats human flesh?
A. I don't know either, but if you see one, you better run!


Q. What do you call a musical insect?
A. A humbug.

Q. What is white on the outside, green on the inside and hops?
A. A frog sandwich.

Q. How do you attach a duck to the wall?
A. With Duck tape!

Q. Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window?
A. He wanted to see time fly!

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. What's big, grey and has red spots?
A. An elephant with chicken pox!

Q. How do you make an octopus laugh?
A. Ten Tickles (Tentacles)!

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!

Q. Why didn't the lobster share his plankton with his dad?
A. Because he was a little shellfish!

Q. Why don't farmers sew?
A. Because their needle is in a haystack.

Q. How do you get 6 donkeys into a fire engine?
A. Two in the front, two in the back and two on the top going, "He-haw, he-haw!"

Q. Why are Teddy Bears never hungry?
A. Because they are always stuffed.

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Q. What has a neck but can't swallow?
A. A bottle.

Q. What does a triceratops sit on?
A. It's tricera-bottom!

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