Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

Read our huge collection of riddles. These funny jokes are sure to make you LOL!

Q. If the red house is in the left and the blue house is on the right, where is the white house ?
A. Washington DC.

Q. What does a cow do at the theatres?
A. Watch a MOO-vie.

Q. What has four wheels and flies?
A. Garbage truck!

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
A. A creamy quacker!

Q. What does a French cow say?
A. "Moo Lala!"

Q. If you're Scottish when you go into the bathroom and you're Scottish when you go out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the toilet?
A. European (you are peeing).

Q. How do you catch a rabbit?
A. Make a noise like a carrot.

Q. What do you call a football team with pigs?
A. Queens Pork Rangers.

Q. What kind of car does a cow drive?
A. A CATTLEac.

Q. What happened to the bed bugs who fell in love?
A. They got married in the spring.

Q. What did the cannibal say after he ate a clown?
A. "That tasted funny!"

Q. What do you call a fairy that hasn't taken a bath?
A. STINKerbell.

Q. Which is the loudest vowel?
A. The letter I. It is always in the midst of noise

Q. What day has day in it but isn't Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or Saturday?
A. Today!

Q. It is greater than God and more evil than devil. The poor have it. The rich need it and if you eat it you'll die. What is it?
A. Nothing!

Q. What do you take before every meal?
A. A seat!

Q. Do you want to hear a construction joke?
A. Sorry I'm still working on it!

Q. What relatives are dependent on U?
A. Aunt, uncle, cousin. They all need U.

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. What did the tornado ask the car?
A. "Wanna go for a spin?"

Q. What school do planets and stars go to to study?
A. UNIVERSity!

Q. What do you call a 100-year-old ant?
A. ANT-ique.

Q. How do you get rid of a boomerang?
A. Throw it down a one way street!

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. Why did the bank robber take a bath?
A. So he could make a clean getaway.

Q. What did the policeman say to his belly?
A. You are under a vest!

Q. What is the fastest country in the world?
A. Russia.

Q. Where do sheep get their hair cut?
A. At the bah bah shop.

Q. What happened to the wind?
A. It blew away!

Q. Which state has the smallest soft drinks?
A. Mini-Soda!

Q. What does an eagle use to write with?
A. A bald point pen!

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Snowflakes!

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. Why did the phone cross the road?
A. To find his friends the numbers!

Q. What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A. Doyouthinkhesarus?

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To show the possums how it's done.

Q. What is the laziest mountain in the world?
A. Mount Ever-rest!

Q. What kind of mail does a superstar vampire get?
A. Fang mail.

Q. What is in fingers, toolboxes and snails?
A. Nails!

Q. Why did the man go off the cliff with his truck?
A. He wanted to test his air brakes.

Q. How many animals of each species did Moses take aboard the ark with him?
A. None, it was Noah's ark.

Q. What is a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A. A stick!

Q. Why was 10 afraid of 9?
A. Because 9 8 7!

Q. One cow is talking to another cow and looks away for 10 seconds and the other cow is gone. Where is the other cow?
A. Over the moon!

Q. One day I was in my car and crashed into a pole. I died sadly. But when I got up to heaven I could see grandma standing with Adam and Eve. The question is how did I know it was Adam and Eve?
A. Because they had no belly-buttons!

Q. What do frogs drink?
A. Croak-a-cola.

Q. Which letter comes once in a minute, twice in a millennium but never in thousand years?
A. The letter M.

Q. What goes around and around but never gets dizzy?
A. Earth.

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. What do you need if you see a kangaroo 20 miles away?
A. I don't know, but you sure don't need glasses.

Q. Why did the doofus climb the glass wall?
A. So he could see what was on the other side.

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. Why did the baseball player get arrested?
A. Because he was caught stealing second base!

Q. Which letter of the alphabet keeps us waiting?
A. Q. (queue)

Q. What has a neck but can't swallow?
A. A bottle.

Q. Why is the ice rink so cold?
A. There are a lot of fans there.

Q. Imagine you are in a metal box. There is no way of getting out. You have no tools or food. How do you get out and survive?
A. You stop imagining!

Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. Imagine you are in a room with no windows or doors. How will you get out?
A. Stop imagining!

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