Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

Read our huge collection of riddles. These funny jokes are sure to make you LOL!

Q. Why did the tightrope walker visit the bank?
A. He wanted to get his balance!

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A. Because 7 8 9!

Q. What did the firefly say to the other firefly?
A. "You glow, girl!"

Q. What did the pitcher say when eggs, bacon and pancakes were playing baseball?
A. "Butter up."

Q. What do you use to fix a torn daisy?
A. A flower patch.

Q. Ike went through the town casuing havoc and he was on the news and in the newspaper. What is Ike?
A. A hurricane!

Q. Say milk five times really fast. Now, what do cows drink?
A. Water.

Q. How do you get rid of a boomerang?
A. Throw it down a one way street!

Q. Why did the strawberry cross the road?
A. Because his mom was in a jam!

Q. What is green and sings?
A. Elvis Parsley.

Q. What do you get when you cross a monkey and a pansy?
A. A chimpansy.

Q. What did the dressing say to the refrigerator?
A. "Shut the door I am dressing!"

Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!

Q. What animal sleeps with its shoes on?
A. A horse.

Q. What are the strongest animals in the ocean?
A. Mussels!

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. What kind of music do stars listen to?
A. The starry blues.

Q. The person who makes it sells it, the person who buys it never uses it, the person who is in it doesn't know it, what is it?
A. A coffin.

Q. What do dogs and trees have in common?
A. Bark.

Q. How come a cheetah can't play hide and seek?
A. Because he's already been spotted.

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Q. What did the policeman say to his belly?
A. You are under a vest!

Q. What is white, black and red all over?
A. An embarrassed penguin.

Q. Why is there no air in space?
A. Because the Milky Way would go bad.

Q. Why is the ice rink so cold?
A. There are a lot of fans there.

Q. In what way can the letter A help a deaf lady?
A. It can make her hear.

Q. What did Sergeant Peanut Butter shout to his jelly police officers?
A. "Spread out, men!"

Q. What is a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A. A stick!

Q. What do polar bears like to snack on?
A. Eskimo thighs.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A. A rocker spaniel.

Q. Why did the leprechaun cross the road?
A. To get to the pot of gold.

Q. How do you get 6 donkeys into a fire engine?
A. Two in the front, two in the back and two on the top going, "He-haw, he-haw!"

Q. Why was the rope late for dinner?
A. It got tied up at the office.

Q. What does a cloud wear under it's raincoat?
A. Thunderwear!

Q. What letter is a part of the head?
A. I.

Q. What do you call a snail with no shell?
A. Homeless.

Q. What does the lion say to his friends before a hunt?
A. "Let us prey."

Q. What does a wolf say on Halloween?
A. "Happy HOWLoween!"

Q. Do you want to hear a construction joke?
A. Sorry I'm still working on it!

Q. How do you make a swordfish like the library?
A. Take away the S in its name!

Q. Why did the man stick his car in the stove?
A. He wanted a hot rod!

Q. What is a bird's favorite treat?
A. Twix!

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. What language does a billboard speak?
A. Sign language.

Q. Why did the phone cross the road?
A. To find his friends the numbers!

Q. How do you stop a rhino from charging?
A. Take away its credit card.

Q. When is the best time to buy budgies?
A. When they're going cheap.

Q. What's a frog's favorite year?
A. Leap year!

Q. Why is a riddle like a joke?
A. It's no good without a point.

Q. What's the biggest type of moth?
A. A mammoth.

Q. What gets wetter as it dries?
A. A towel!

Q. What do you call a break up between a boy and a girl banana?
A. A banana split.

Q. Why don't skeletons fight?
A. Because they don't have the guts!

Q. Why did Mickey Mouse go to space?
A. To find Pluto.

Q. What do you do when your fish sings flat?
A. Tuna fish!

Q. What 10 letter word starts with gas?
A. An A-U-T-O-M-O-B-I-L-E.

Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.

Q. If you have three 7 foot long ropes, how many feet do you have?
A. You have two feet!

Q. What can you throw but not catch?
A. A fit!

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