Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles


Read our huge collection of riddles. These funny jokes are sure to make you LOL!

Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. The butcher was on the other side.

Q. What do you get when you cross a parrot and a caterpillar?
A. A walkie talkie.

Q. What did Cinderella wear to the beach?
A. Glass flippers.

Q. What do you call an overweight E.T.?
A. Extra Cholesterol!

Q. What can't you eat at dinner?
A. Breakfast and lunch!

Q. What do you call a bell that can do gymnastics?
A. A flexi-bell.

Q. One cow is talking to another cow and looks away for 10 seconds and the other cow is gone. Where is the other cow?
A. Over the moon!

Q. Why is getting up in the morning like a pig's tail?
A. It's twirly. (Too early)

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No idea. (No eye deer)

Q. A skunk, a frog and a duck wanted to go to the movies. The movies cost a dollar, which animal got to go?
A. The frog because it was the only one with a greenback.

Q. What tools do you need for math?

Q. What did the plate say to the other plate?
A. "Food's on me tonight!"

Q. What was Mr. Cow and Mrs. Cow's favorite time together?
A. When they went on their honeyMOOn.

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A. A pouch potato.

Q. What is the most musical part of your body?
A. Your nose, you can blow it and pick it.

Q. What word of only three syllables contains 26 letters?
A. Alphabet.

Q. Why did the mushroom have so many friends?
A. Because he was a fungi!

Q. Which one is faster, hot or cold?
A. Hot. You can catch cold!

Q. Why was the crab arrested?
A. For pinching!

Q. What do you call a musical insect?
A. A humbug.

Q. Why did the gum cross the road?
A. It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. To get to the MOOvies.

Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. An injured penguin.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?
A. The Milky Baa-r kid.

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. Why didn't the mummy answer the phone?
A. He was all tied up!

Q. Why did the frog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to show his girlfriend he had guts.

Q. What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
A. Reality.


Q. Why did the girl bring a ruler to bed with her?
A. She wanted to see how long she slept.

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. Paul is six feet tall. He is an assistant in a butcher shop. He wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
A. Meat.

Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?
A. CELL phones.

Q. What goes up and down but never moves?
A. The stairs!

Q. The person who makes it sells it, the person who buys it never uses it, the person who is in it doesn't know it, what is it?
A. A coffin.

Q. What are the strongest days of the week?
A. Saturday and Sunday because all the rest are WEAK days!

Q. Why did the bee feel cold?
A. Because it is in the middle of A and C.

Q. What bird can write?
A. PENguin!

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. Why was the calculator sad?
A. Because it had too many problems to solve!

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
A. "You're way too young to smoke."

Q. What has a forest with no trees, lakes without water, roads with no cars and deserts with no sand?
A. A map!

Q. A women shot her husband, put him under water for 5 minutes, and then hung him. Later, they went out to dinner. How did he survive, and then go out to dinner?
A. She was a photographer!

Q. What does a cloud wear under it's raincoat?
A. Thunderwear!

Q. Where did the boy take his pet pig to?
A. The Ham-usement park!

Q. There are 2 cats, one is French and the other English. The French cat's name was Un Deux Trois and the English cat's name was One Two Three. Both cats think they're better than the other. To determine this they have a swimming contest. Which cat wins and why?
A. The English cat, because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq! (Un Deux Trois cat sank)

Q. What do you need if you see a kangaroo 20 miles away?
A. I don't know, but you sure don't need glasses.

Q. What disappears when you turn the light on?
A. The dark!

Q. What kind of running means walking
A. Running out of gas.

Q. What is a flower between your nose and your chin?
A. Two lips. (Tulips)

Q. What does a French cow say?
A. "Moo Lala!"

Q. What has four legs, stands and is helpful to people?
A. A table!

Q. Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
A. If he flew over a bay he'd be called a bagel!

Q. What has four eyes but can't see?
A. Mississippi.

Q. Why is baseball the safest sport?
A. Because on the field, it has a warning track.

Q. Why did the bird go to the restaurant?
A. Because he wanted a tweet!

Q. What happened to the bed bugs who fell in love?
A. They got married in the spring.

Q. How do you make a bandstand?
A. You take away their chairs!

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