Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

Read our huge collection of riddles. These funny jokes are sure to make you LOL!

Q. What did the plate say to the other plate?
A. "Food's on me tonight!"

Q. Why did the oak tree have to eat his ice cream in a dish?
A. The pine tree wouldn't give him a cone!

Q. What kind of monkey can fly?
A. A hot air BABOON!

Q. Why did the bird go to the restaurant?
A. Because he wanted a tweet!

Q. What did the volcanoes name their daughter?
A. MAGMAlena.

Q. What do you call a polar bear in the desert?
A. Lost.

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. What gate can't you enter?
A. Colgate!

Q. What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A. What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?

Q. Why do you never ask a dinosaur to read you a story?
A. Because their tales are so long.

Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.

Q. How do you make a bandstand?
A. You take away their chairs!

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. Why did the boy bury his flashlight?
A. Because the batteries were dead.

Q. What letter is an exclamation?
A. O!

Q. Which day is mostly avoided by fish?
A. FRYday!

Q. What do you call a fly with no wings?
A. A walk.

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. What do T-shirts love to play?
A. Tag.

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. How is bubble gum similar to a Wookie?
A. It's Chewy.

Q. What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A. A synonym roll.

Q. Why don't skeletons fight?
A. Because they don't have the guts!

Q. There are two dads and two sons that went fishing. Everyone caught a fish, but only three fish were caught. How is this possible?
A. There was a grandfather, a dad and a son.

Q. What happened to the shark when he ate too many keys?
A. He turned into the Lock-ness monster.

Q. Which restaurants are good at math?
A. Take-aways!

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. What do you get when you cross a parrot and a caterpillar?
A. A walkie talkie.

Q. Why did the banana factory shut down?
A. Because they chucked out all the bent ones!

Q. What do you call a train full of bubble gum?
A. A chew-chew train.

Q. What does a tree drink?
A. Root beer!

Q. Why did the willow weep?
A. Because it saw the water fall (waterfall).

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. What do you get if you cross some bubble bath and a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Foams.

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. What do eskimos call their cows?
A. Eski-MOOS.

Q. What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?
A. A wonkey.

Q. What do mice feel like when they come out of the shower?
A. Squeaky clean!

Q. What can you catch but not in your hands?
A. A cold!

Q. What do you call a shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?
A. Lockjaw.

Q. Why was the rope late for dinner?
A. It got tied up at the office.

Q. Why didn't Noah do much fishing on the ark?
A. He only had two worms!

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. What is white with black spots and goes, "Oo, oo, oo"?
A. A cow with no lips.

Q. What does the sun skate on?
A. Solarblades!

Q. What's an insect's favorite sport?
A. Cricket.

Q. Why did the silly electrician jump over the clock?
A. So he could get some overtime!

Q. If you know me you will want to share me, but if you share me I will be gone. What am I?
A. A secret.

Q. It is greater than God and more evil than devil. The poor have it. The rich need it and if you eat it you'll die. What is it?
A. Nothing!

Q. What is black and white and when you kick it it flies?
A. A soccer ball!

Q. Does a match box?
A. No, but a tin can!

Q. What has the fur of a cat, the whiskers of a cat, ears of a car, a tail of a cat, but is not a cat?
A. A kitten.

Q. What is the quickest way to double your money?
A. Fold it in half!

Q. Why did the starfish breakup with the lobster?
A. Because he was SHELLfish.

Q. I have four wings but I never fly, I never laugh and never cry. On the same spot I'm always found, toiling away with a squeaking sound. I turn but my body doesn't move. What am I?
A. A windmill that needs oiling.

Q. 30 people are in a room, no way in, no way out. Don't ask me how they got in. Someone counted and they got 34-heads. How is that possible?
A. 30 foreheads!

Q. What did the dressing say to the refrigerator?
A. "Shut the door I am dressing!"

Q. What do you call an an ant sticking out of the ground?
A. A plANT!

Q. What has a never ending life cycle?
A. Laundry.

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