Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

Read our huge collection of riddles. These funny jokes are sure to make you LOL!

Q. Why couldn't the shipmates play cards?
A. The captain was sitting on the deck!

Q. How did Jack Frost get to work?
A. By icicle!

Q. What do you get if you cross a porcupine and a giraffe?
A. A seven metre long toothbrush!

Q. Why didn't the Dallas Cowboys want to beat the Denver Broncos in a game?
A. Because they needed a ride home!

Q. What do mice feel like when they come out of the shower?
A. Squeaky clean!

Q. What did the tree say to the light bulb?
A. "Hey! Just had a bright idea!"

Q. Mary was shot in the head. She managed to avoid being hospitalized and she's as healthy as can be. How can this be?
A. She had a modeling audition. So, they took her head shots.

Q. What did the fish say to the octopus while the octopus was eating?
A. Lend me a tentacle or 8.

Q. What did Sergeant Peanut Butter shout to his jelly police officers?
A. "Spread out, men!"

Q. Where are the most cows born?
A. COWlifornia.

Q. What country has the most church bells?
A. BELLgium!

Q. What do you get when you put a radio in a fridge?
A. Cool music!

Q. Why do hair dressers always get places faster?
A. Because they know all the short cuts.

Q. What kind of doctor never works but is very popular around the world?
A. Dr. Pepper (the soda).

Q. What does Dracula say when he doesn't have good news?
A. "I have BAT news, everyone!"

Q. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?
A. A buccaneer (A buck an ear)

Q. What part of a fish weighs the most?
A. Its scales.

Q. What kind of chickens lay golden eggs?
A. Golden Chicks!

Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. Pork Chop!

Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!

Q. How do you communicate with a fish?
A. Drop it a line.

Q. What did the volcanoes name their daughter?
A. MAGMAlena.

Q. The peak on my house is going east and west and slopes North and South. A rooster is on the peak and lays an egg, which way did the egg roll?
A. Roosters don't lay eggs

Q. What has lots of teeth but can't chew a thing?
A. A comb!

Q. Which animal is the oldest in the world?
A. The zebra because it's still black and white.

Q. There are 2 cats, one is French and the other English. The French cat's name was Un Deux Trois and the English cat's name was One Two Three. Both cats think they're better than the other. To determine this they have a swimming contest. Which cat wins and why?
A. The English cat, because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq! (Un Deux Trois cat sank)

Q. Why did the whale laugh?
A. Because he saw the sea's bottom.

Q. Why did the man stick his car in the stove?
A. He wanted a hot rod!

Q. Which wolf got lost in the woods?
A. The WHEREwolf.

Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he had no guts.

Q. Why did the fish make such a good musician?
A. He knew his scales.

Q. Why did the cow eat the tight rope walker?
A. Because he wanted a balanced meal!

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because she was getting tired of just standing there!

Q. What letter is a drink?
A. T.

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. What is a dentist's favourite game?
A. Tooth or Dare!

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To show the possums how it's done.

Q. Why is the White House spotless?
A. Because it lives in WASHington!

Q. What is a crate's favorite sport?
A. Boxing!

Q. What did the tornado ask the car?
A. "Wanna go for a spin?"

Q. There was a train with passengers inside. Suddenly the train crashed, where would the survivors be buried?
A. No where, they are the survivors!

Q. Why don't ducks tell jokes when they are flying?
A. Because they just might quack up.

Q. Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
A. Because their feet stink.

Q. What did the man say to the butcher at the deli?
A. "I never sausage a place"

Q. What do you call a 100-year-old ant?
A. ANT-ique.

Q. Which is the loudest vowel?
A. The letter I. It is always in the midst of noise

Q. What can you catch but never throw?
A. A cold.

Q. Why did the nose cross the street?
A. He was getting picked on!

Q. Which nail does a carpenter hate to hit?
A. A thumbnail.

Q. Where do trees store their valuables?
A. In their trunk!

Q. Why do gorillas have broad fingers?
A. Because they have large nostrils.

Q. Why did the toilet paper want to roll down the hill?
A. To get to the bottom.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?
A. The Milky Baa-r kid.

Q. What is the best way to catch a squirrel?
A. Act like a nut.

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. What did the elephant say to her son when he was naughty?
A. "Tusk tusk!"

Q. What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left for school?
A. Bison!

Q. Why did the leprechaun cross the road?
A. To get to the pot of gold.

Q. What did the ghost say when it sneezed?
A. "Ahh BOO!"

To see more riddles, click the Refresh button, below.

 We also have jokes about…
Advertisement