Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

Read our huge collection of riddles. These funny jokes are sure to make you LOL!

Q. What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?
A. It gets wet.

Q. Why is there no air in space?
A. Because the Milky Way would go bad.

Q. Which day is mostly avoided by fish?
A. FRYday!

Q. If there was a spelling test, which animal would win?
A. The bee!

Q. What loses its head every day and gets it back every night?
A. A pillow.

Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. Because it was the chicken's day off.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. There are ten cats on a boat. One jumps off, how many are left?
A. None, they were all copy cats!

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. Why did the dinosaur bring string to the baseball game?
A. He wanted to tie up the score!

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. Why was the woman so happy she finished the jigsaw puzzle in six months?
A. The box said 2-4 years!

Q. If you are running in a race and you just passed the guy in second place what place are you in?
A. You are in second place!

Q. Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?
A. MOO-tels!

Q. Why didn't the mummy answer the phone?
A. He was all tied up!

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Q. How do you eat an elephant?
A. One bite at a time.

Q. What do you call fish with no eyes?
A. Fsh.

Q. Why did the strawberry cross the road?
A. Because his mom was in a jam!

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Q. What do you get when you cross a parrot and a caterpillar?
A. A walkie talkie.

Q. What did the shark say when he bumped into a whale?
A. "I didn't do it on porpoise!" (purpose)

Q. What is green and sings?
A. Elvis Parsley.

Q. What happens when you cross the tango and a waltz?
A. A wango!

Q. What does a polar bear use to keep his head warm?
A. A polar ice cap.

Q. What do you call an angry polar bear?
A. Nothing, just run.

Q. What do you call a pig dressed as Frankenstein?
A. FrankenSWINE.

Q. What do you get if you cross some bubble bath and a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Foams.

Q. What did the big hand on the clock say to the little hand?
A. "Hour you today?"

Q. What kind of mail does a superstar vampire get?
A. Fang mail.

Q. What do birds get when they are ill?
A. TWEETment.

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Q. What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
A. "You go on without me, I'll ketchup!"

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. Why did the boat go on a diet?
A. It wanted to be ship-shape.

Q. What kind of music does a mountain like?
A. Rock music!

Q. What is brown, has a tail and a head, but no legs?
A. A penny!

Q. Rail road tracks, look out for cars! How do you spell that without any Rs?
A. T-H-A-T!

Q. What bird can write?
A. PENguin!

Q. What grows if you feed it but dies if it drinks?
A. Fire.

Q. How many seconds are in a year?
A. 12: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc.

Q. Why is England the wettest country?
A. Because the queen has reigned there for years!

Q. What letter is a European bird?
A. J.

Q. How do you make a bandstand?
A. You take away their chairs!

Q. What do you call a rabbit with the sniffles?
A. A runny bunny.

Q. What smells like red paint but is blue?
A. Blue paint.

Q. What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A. Doyouthinkhesarus?

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Q. How did Jack Frost get to work?
A. By icicle!

Q. Do you know what happens when ducks fly upside down?
A. They quack up!

Q. What did one burp say to the next?
A. Let's be stinkers and sneak out the back!

Q. What's the longest word in the dictionary?
A. Rubber band because it stretches!

Q. What are the strongest animals in the ocean?
A. Mussels!

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. What has 6 eyes but cannot see?
A. Three blind mice.

Q. What is black, white and red all over?
A. An embarassed zebra!

Q. What cat likes living in water?
A. An octoPUSS!

Q. What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A. A cloud!

Q. Why was the ant confused?
A. Because all of his uncles were ants!

Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mouse.

Q. What is the quickest way to double your money?
A. Fold it in half!

Q. What did the fish say to the other fish?
A. "(O)(o)(O)(o)(O)" (Hello)

Q. Why is the White House spotless?
A. Because it lives in WASHington!

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