Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

Read our huge collection of riddles. These funny jokes are sure to make you LOL!

Q. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A. Because she thought it was a high school.

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A. A cloud!

Q. What fish can help you build a house?
A. A hammerhead shark.

Q. Which nail does a carpenter hate to hit?
A. A thumbnail.

Q. What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?
A. A Tyrannosaurus WRECK!

Q. What is a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A. A stick!

Q. Why are pirates called pirates?
A. Because they AAARRR!

Q. Think of the person who lives in disguise, who deals in secrets and tells nothing but lies.
Next tell me what's always last to mend the middle of middle and end of the end.
And finally give me the sound often heard during the search for a hard to find word.
Now string them all together and answer me this:
What creature would you be unwilling to kiss?
A. A spider.

Q. What can you serve but never eat?
A. A tennis ball!

Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.

Q. What does a cloud wear under it's raincoat?
A. Thunderwear!

Q. Why he did the book want to work with the police?
A. Because he wanted to work under cover.

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. Why was the ghost on the cheerleading squad?
A. It wanted to add a little team spirit.

Q. Where do sheep get their hair cut?
A. At the bah bah shop.

Q. What do you call a grandfather clock?
A. An old timer!

Q. Rail road tracks, look out for cars! How do you spell that without any Rs?
A. T-H-A-T!

Q. A cowboy rode into town on Friday, stayed for 3 days and left on Friday. How did he do it?
A. His horse's name was Friday.

Q. What did one wall say to the other wall?
A. "I'll meet you at the corner."

Q. What is a 3 letter word that gets bigger when you add 3 letters?
A. Big!

Q. What do you call an an ant sticking out of the ground?
A. A plANT!

Q. What starts with T, ends with T, and is filled with T?
A. A teapot!

Q. Where does a penguin go to visit his aunt?
A. ANT-arctica!

Q. What is a mummy's favorite kind of music?
A. Rap!

Q. What does a bird say on Halloween?
A. Twick or tweet!

Q. How do you catch a rabbit?
A. Make a noise like a carrot.

Q. What pet does everybody have?
A. A carPET!

Q. Why did the doofus climb the glass wall?
A. So he could see what was on the other side.

Q. Paul is six feet tall. He is an assistant in a butcher shop. He wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
A. Meat.

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A. An investiGATOR!

Q. Why did the fish make such a good musician?
A. He knew his scales.

Q. What do you call a snail on a ship?
A. A snailor.

Q. What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?
A. A woolly jumper!

Q. You're stuck in a cement box, all you have is a mirror and a table, how do you get out?
A. You take the mirror, you see what you saw, grab the saw, cut the table in half, one half plus one half equals one whole, you take the hole put it in the wall and walk out.

Q. Why was Cinderella thrown off the football team?
A. Because she ran away from the ball!

Q. Why did the cat sit on the computer?
A. To keep an eye on the mouse.

Q. What has four legs, stands and is helpful to people?
A. A table!

Q. How do you spell mousetrap with ONLY three letters?
A. C-A-T!

Q. Why did the boy scream when he opened the fridge?
A. Because he saw the salad dressing.

Q. What question can a person ask all day long, getting a different answer each time, yet all the answers are correct?
A. What time is it?

Q. There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?
A. A watermelon!

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. What do cheerleaders drink?
A. Root beer.

Q. What did the toilet say when he was playing cards?
A. "Flush!"

Q. What do you call a bear with no ears?
A. B.

Q. How does a tree get on the computer?
A. It logs on!

Q. If a red house is made out of red brick, and a blue house is made of blue bricks what is a green house made of?
A. Glass.

Q. What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
A. "You go on without me, I'll ketchup!"

Q. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A. A dino-snore!

Q. What goes up when the rain comes down?
A. An umbrella!

Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.

Q. What country has the most church bells?
A. BELLgium!

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. Why did the baby chick cross the road?
A. It was take-your-child-to-work day.

Q. What do you do when you see a spaceman?
A. Park in it!

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

To see more riddles, click the Refresh button, below.

 We also have jokes about…
Advertisement