Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

Read our huge collection of riddles. These funny jokes are sure to make you LOL!

Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!

Q. Why did the leopard refuse to take a bath?
A. It didn't want to come out spotless.

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. What do you do when your fish sings flat?
A. Tuna fish!

Q. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A. A rocker spaniel.

Q. I have two coins in my pocket and they equal 15 cents. One of them is not a nickel. What are the coins in my pocket?
A. A nickel and a dime, I said only one of them is not a nickel.

Q. What is the most musical part of your body?
A. Your nose, you can blow it and pick it.

Q. What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A. A synonym roll.

Q. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A. Because she thought it was a high school.

Q. How can a rose ride a bike?
A. It uses its petals!

Q. Why do hair dressers always get places faster?
A. Because they know all the short cuts.

Q. What is the difference between a cat that got photocopied and a cat that follows you?
A. One is a cat copy, the other is a copy cat.

Q. Why was the pencil crying?
A. Because he was POINTLESS!

Q. How do you get 6 donkeys into a fire engine?
A. Two in the front, two in the back and two on the top going, "He-haw, he-haw!"

Q. What letter is a part of the head?
A. I.

Q. How do you make a goldfish age?
A. Take away the g in goldfish.

Q. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and put the elephant in and then close the door.

Q. How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and take out the elephant and put the giraffe in, then close the door.

Q. The animals were having a meeting in the jungle. Who didn't come?
A. The giraffe, it was in the refrigerator.

Q. A man was hiking in the jungle. He came to a river. In the river lived alligators. How did the man cross the river?
A. He swam across, the alligators were at the meeting.

Q. What's black, white and blue all over?
A. A cold zebra.

Q. What do you get when you cross a star and a gun?
A. A shooting star!

Q. What is the cat's favorite button on the remote?
A. Paws.

Q. What did the iPhone say to the other iPhone?
A. "It is nice to text you."

Q. What did the cat need when it was having trouble seeing?
A. A PURRscription!

Q. What goes around the world but stays in one place?
A. A stamp.

Q. Why did the cow want some cheese?
A. Because it's MOOlicious!

Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.

Q. Why did the bee feel cold?
A. Because it is in the middle of A and C.

Q. What do you call a dark colored horse that really scares you?
A. A nightMARE!

Q. What does an injured lemon need?
A. Lemon Aid!

Q. What has holes and can still hold water?
A. A sponge!

Q. What insect is an arithmetic insect?
A. A mosquito! They add to misery, subtract from pleasure, divide the attention and multiply quickly!

Q. There is a black house, grey house, red house, yellow house, green house and brown house. What colour house does President Obama live in?
A. The White House!

Q. What is red when you go and green when you stop?
A. A watermelon.

Q. What did one burp say to the next?
A. Let's be stinkers and sneak out the back!

Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. Because it was the chicken's day off.

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. What can you throw but not catch?
A. A fit!

Q. What do you get if you throw butter?
A. A butterfly!

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Q. What is the capital of Greece?
A. G.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow with a smurf?
A. Blue cheese!

Q. Why did the girl bring a ruler to bed with her?
A. She wanted to see how long she slept.

Q. What has 6 legs, 4 eyes, 4 ears, 2 noses, 2 mouths and 2 heads?
A. A man sitting on a horse.

Q. What is a cow's favourite drink?
A. MOO Juice.

Q. What did Sergeant Peanut Butter shout to his jelly police officers?
A. "Spread out, men!"

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. What's black when you get it, red when you use it and white when you're finished?
A. Charcoal.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because she was getting tired of just standing there!

Q. Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window?
A. He wanted to see time fly!

Q. What seven letters did the robber say when he saw nothing in the safe?
A. "O I C U R M T!"

Q. What can fill up the the room but takes no space?
A. Light.

Q. How do you make a bandstand?
A. You take away their chairs!

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. What is an astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard?
A. The space bar!

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. What do you call a person with a tree for a briefcase?
A. A branch manager.

Q. Where will you find the biggest rope in the world?
A. In EuROPE!

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. A sunburned zebra!

Q. Are you a triangle?
A. 'Cause you sure are acute! ;)

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

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