Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

Read our huge collection of riddles. These funny jokes are sure to make you LOL!

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get to the other side.

Q. What did the policeman say to his belly?
A. You are under a vest!

Q. Why can't a leopard hide?
A. Because he's always spotted!

Q. What's black and white and can climb trees?
A. A panda.

Q. Does a match box?
A. No, but a tin can!

Q. What did the calendar say to the other calendar?
A. "You want to go on a date with me?"

Q. What happened to the wind?
A. It blew away!

Q. What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A. A milkshake!

Q. What is a flower between your nose and your chin?
A. Two lips. (Tulips)

Q. How do you get 6 donkeys into a fire engine?
A. Two in the front, two in the back and two on the top going, "He-haw, he-haw!"

Q. Why is the letter B so cool?
A. Because it is in between A C!

Q. What did the hat say to the scarf?
A. "You can hang around. I'll just go on a head!"

Q. Why wouldn't the oyster give up her pearl?
A. She was shellfish [selfish].

Q. What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A. "I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand."

Q. A cowboy rode into town on Friday, stayed for 3 days and left on Friday. How did he do it?
A. His horse's name was Friday.

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. What do eskimos call their cows?
A. Eski-MOOS.

Q. Have you heard the joke about the bed?
A. It hasn't been made yet!

Q. Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
A. Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall down!

Q. Why does a giraffe eat so little?
A. Because they can make a little go a long way.

Q. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A. In case he got a hole in one!

Q. What was Mr. Cow and Mrs. Cow's favorite time together?
A. When they went on their honeyMOOn.

Q. Where do horses go when they are sick?
A. HORSEpital.

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. What is the capital of Greece?
A. G.

Q. What do you call a person with a tree for a briefcase?
A. A branch manager.

Q. What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
A. "You're way too young to smoke."

Q. Where do trees store their valuables?
A. In their trunk!

Q. What four letters frighten a thief?
A. O I C U!

Q. Where does a penguin go to visit his aunt?
A. ANT-arctica!

Q. What did one wall say to the other wall?
A. "I'll meet you at the corner."

Q. What do you call a rabbit with the sniffles?
A. A runny bunny.

Q. What is a dentist's favourite game?
A. Tooth or Dare!

Q. How many letters are in envelope?
A. One.

Q. What goes up and down but never moves?
A. The stairs!

Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. What do you get when you cross a clam and a rabbit?
A. The oyster bunny!

Q. How much is the moon worth?
A. One dollar, because it has four quarters.

Q. What do you call a crab that will not share?
A. A selfish. (Shellfish)

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why did the leprechaun cross the road?
A. To get to the pot of gold.

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. What is white with black spots and goes, "Oo, oo, oo"?
A. A cow with no lips.

Q. Why did the firefighter put his belt on?
A. To hold his pants up!

Q. A duck, a cat and a cow went out to dinner, who had to pay?
A. The duck. He was the only one with a bill.

Q. What did the picture say to the other picture?
A. "How long have you been hanging around here?"

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.

Q. Why did the newspaper blush?
A. Because he saw the comic strip.

Q. What do you say in the evening to a soldier in shining armor?
A. Night, night, Knight.

Q. What is a cow's favourite drink?
A. MOO Juice.

Q. Why are cooks cruel?
A. Because they whip cream and beat eggs!!

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. What is green and hangs off trees?
A. Giraffe snot.

Q. What is black and white and when you kick it it flies?
A. A soccer ball!

Q. What is a cow's favourite movie?
A. Moo-lan.

Q. What is a shark's favourite food?
A. Fish and ships.

Q. What's the difference between winter and a hurt football player?
A. One is cold out and the other one is out cold.

Q. Why do sharks live in salty water?
A. Because pepper makes them sneeze.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because he was tired of living beside KFC!

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