Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

Read our huge collection of riddles. These funny jokes are sure to make you LOL!

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. The peak on my house is going east and west and slopes North and South. A rooster is on the peak and lays an egg, which way did the egg roll?
A. Roosters don't lay eggs

Q. What do you call a dog who wins a race?
A. A weiner.

Q. What do you call two bananas?
A. A pair of slippers!

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. A sunburned zebra!

Q. What's black, white and blue all over?
A. A cold zebra.

Q. What gate can't you enter?
A. Colgate!

Q. What animal never tells the truth?
A. A lion.

Q. Why was the elephant afraid of the computer store?
A. Because they sold the world's best mice.

Q. Where do trees store their valuables?
A. In their trunk!

Q. How did Jack Frost get to work?
A. By icicle!

Q. In what way can the letter A help a deaf lady?
A. It can make her hear.

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. What does a surprised iceberg say?
A. "Goodness Glacius!"

Q. What has a ring but no finger?
A. A telephone!

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. Why did the firefighter put his belt on?
A. To hold his pants up!

Q. What do you call a dancing ant?
A. A dANTcer!

Q. A duck, a cat and a cow went out to dinner, who had to pay?
A. The duck. He was the only one with a bill.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
A. Boo!

Q. What do you call a smart pig?
A. CunningHAM!

Q. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A. A dino-snore!

Q. What did the 0 say to the 8?
A. "Nice belt."

Q. Where do horses go when they are sick?
A. HORSEpital.

Q. Why couldn't the astronaut land on the moon?
A. Because it was full.

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. Have you heard the joke about the bed?
A. It hasn't been made yet!

Q. What is black, white and red all over?
A. An embarassed zebra!

Q. What do you call a bear with no ears?
A. B.

Q. Why was the crab arrested?
A. For pinching!

Q. What kind of car does Humpty Dumpty drive?
A. A Yolks Wagon!

Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!

Q. What happens when you cross the tango and a waltz?
A. A wango!

Q. How did the man build up his flea collar business?
A. He started from scratch.

Q. Why didn't the bunny hop?
A. No bunny knows.

Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A. "Are you my mommy?"

Q. What did the tornado ask the car?
A. "Wanna go for a spin?"

Q. What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A. A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.

Q. Why did the willow weep?
A. Because it saw the water fall (waterfall).

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.

Q. Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to see his flat mate!

Q. What is an army man's favorite month?
A. March!

Q. I'm at the beginning of eternity and the end of time and space. I'm at the beginning of every end and the end of every place. What am I?
A. The letter E!

Q. What do you call a dentist in the army?
A. A drill sergeant.

Q. Did you hear what happened down at the fish shop?
A. The fish got battered!

Q. Do you know what happens when ducks fly upside down?
A. They quack up!

Q. Why did the boy lock himself in the fridge?
A. To make himself look cooler.

Q. Why was the ant confused?
A. Because all of his uncles were ants!

Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.

Q. What is yours but your friends use more than you?
A. Your name!

Q. Are you a triangle?
A. 'Cause you sure are acute! ;)

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!

Q. What do you call a door that is cute?
A. ADOORable!

Q. What is grey, has a tail and a trunk?
A. A mouse going on a vacation.

Q. What rolls and jumps but never walks?
A. A soccer ball!

Q. I have 7 children half of them are boys, what is the other half?
A. They were all boys.

Q. What did the bee say when he returned to the hive?
A. "Honey, I'm home!"

Q. What kind of explosions do dinosaurs like?
A. DINOmite!

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

To see more riddles, click the Refresh button, below.

 We also have jokes about…
Advertisement