Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

Read our huge collection of riddles. These funny jokes are sure to make you LOL!

Q. Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
A. Because they put on the salsa.

Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.

Q. What do you call a dark colored horse that really scares you?
A. A nightMARE!

Q. Where can you find a 3 foot ruler?
A. At a yard sale.

Q. What disappears when you turn the light on?
A. The dark!

Q. What did the tree say to the light bulb?
A. "Hey! Just had a bright idea!"

Q. Why did the one handed man cross the road?
A. To get to the second hand shop!

Q. Why couldn't they play cards on the ark?
A. Because Noah sat on the deck!

Q. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and put the elephant in and then close the door.

Q. How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and take out the elephant and put the giraffe in, then close the door.

Q. The animals were having a meeting in the jungle. Who didn't come?
A. The giraffe, it was in the refrigerator.

Q. A man was hiking in the jungle. He came to a river. In the river lived alligators. How did the man cross the river?
A. He swam across, the alligators were at the meeting.

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. Why couldn't the astronaut land on the moon?
A. Because it was full.

Q. If you see more of it, you see less of everything else. What is it?
A. Darkness.

Q. What do you get when you cross a monkey and a pansy?
A. A chimpansy.

Q. Why does the man think the darkness is heavy?
A. Because it isn't light.

Q. What garden has the most vegetables?
A. Flash garden!

Q. What pet does everybody have?
A. A carPET!

Q. Why was the dog sitting next to the fire?
A. He was a hotdog!

Q. What did the sun say to the sheep and the cloud?
A. "Whoa, are y'all related?"

Q. What kind of bats swing upside down?
A. AcroBATS!

Q. What is in and out, big and small, short and tall, up and down, and all around?
A. Life and time.

Q. What should you do when you see a green alien?
A. Wait until it's ripe!

Q. Why did the bee feel cold?
A. Because it is in the middle of A and C.

Q. If you are running in a race and you just passed the guy in second place what place are you in?
A. You are in second place!

Q. What is a crate's favorite sport?
A. Boxing!

Q. Why did the baseball player get arrested?
A. Because he was caught stealing second base!

Q. Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A. To get to the other slide.

Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. Pork Chop!

Q. What do you call two spiders who just got married?
A. Newlyweb!

Q. What lies in a pram and wobbles?
A. A jelly baby!

Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. To get to the MOOvies.

Q. Why did the crab cross the road?
A. To get to the other the tide.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. Where do trees store their valuables?
A. In their trunk!

Q. What bird can write?
A. PENguin!

Q. What is the smartest city in America?
A. Alabama because it has four A's and one B!

Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.

Q. Tall in the morning, short at noon, gone at night but I'll be back soon. What am I?
A. A shadow!

Q. Why was the elephant afraid of the computer store?
A. Because they sold the world's best mice.

Q. What do you call a cow with no legs?
A. Ground beef.

Q. Does a match box?
A. No, but a tin can!

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. How did the cow get through the crowd?
A. He shouted MOOve!

Q. Why is the letter T like an island?
A. Because it is in the middle of waTer.

Q. There was a train with passengers inside. Suddenly the train crashed, where would the survivors be buried?
A. No where, they are the survivors!

Q. Why do gorillas have broad fingers?
A. Because they have large nostrils.

Q. Where does a penguin go to visit his aunt?
A. ANT-arctica!

Q. What do bananas do when they get a sunburn?
A. They peel.

Q. What did the broken clock say?
A. "Will someone give me hand?"

Q. What has no lid, key, or hinge yet golden treasure is hid inside?
A. An egg!

Q. What is a volcano?
A. A mountain with heartburn!

Q. What letter of the alphabet has the most water?
A. The letter C!

Q. What is an astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard?
A. The space bar!

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. Where does a bunny go if you give it a pair of socks?
A. A sock hop.

Q. What do you call a smart pig?
A. CunningHAM!

Q. Why did the cow pack his bags?
A. Because he was MOOving!

Q. What has 3 feet but cannot walk?
A. A yardstick!

Q. What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
A. "Me ow!"

To see more riddles, click the Refresh button, below.

 We also have jokes about…
Advertisement