Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

Read our huge collection of riddles. These funny jokes are sure to make you LOL!

Q. What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
A. Open TOAD sandals.

Q. What word, if spelled right is wrong and spelled wrong is right?
A. Wrong!

Q. What has a never ending life cycle?
A. Laundry.

Q. Why did the cookie cry?
A. Because his mother was a wafer too long!

Q. Where do you learn to make ice cream?
A. At Sundae School!

Q. What does a wolf say on Halloween?
A. "Happy HOWLoween!"

Q. Who was the straightest man in the Bible?
A. Joseph, Pharoah made a ruler out of him.

Q. Who in the solar system has the most loose change?
A. The moon, it keeps changing quarters.

Q. If you're on a plane and one of the engines breaks, how far will the other one take you?
A. All the way to the scene of the crash.

Q. Why couldn't the bike stand up on it's own?
A. Because it was two-tired!

Q. A skunk, a frog and a duck wanted to go to the movies. The movies cost a dollar, which animal got to go?
A. The frog because it was the only one with a greenback.

Q. What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A. A cloud!

Q. What does a cow do at the theatres?
A. Watch a MOO-vie.

Q. What has words but never speaks?
A. A book.

Q. What do you call someone with 4 eyes, 3 noses, 6 arms, 4 legs and 8 ears?
A. Ugly.

Q. Why couldn't the astronaut land on the moon?
A. Because it was full.

Q. Can you name two things that have an eye buy can't see?
A. A needle and a hurricane!

Q. Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A. Because they are always a little short!

Q. What does a triceratops sit on?
A. It's tricera-bottom!

Q. Why can't you take a test in the zoo?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?
A. He had no body to dance with!

Q. Why did the starfish breakup with the lobster?
A. Because he was SHELLfish.

Q. Why is the White House spotless?
A. Because it lives in WASHington!

Q. What do you call a door that is cute?
A. ADOORable!

Q. Why can't a car play football?
A. Because its only got one boot.

Q. What did the fish say to the other fish?
A. "(O)(o)(O)(o)(O)" (Hello)

Q. How do you know when an Irish person is happy?
A. When they are Dublin over with laughter!

Q. What has to be broken before you can use it?
A. An egg.

Q. Why do gorillas have broad fingers?
A. Because they have large nostrils.

Q. What do you call an angry polar bear?
A. Nothing, just run.

Q. What has lots of teeth but can't chew a thing?
A. A comb!

Q. What kind of bug goes Zzub Zzub?
A. A bumble bee flying backward!

Q. What starts and ends with an O and has hi in the middle?
A. Ohio!

Q. What did the vampire say to his wife?
A. "Your neck looks slimmer."

Q. What did the running ketchup said to the walking ketchup?
A. "Catch up!"

Q. What do you call a train full of bubble gum?
A. A chew-chew train.

Q. What has a forest with no trees, lakes without water, roads with no cars and deserts with no sand?
A. A map!

Q. Why did the duck cross the road?
A. Because it thought it was a chicken.

Q. Did you hear what happened down at the fish shop?
A. The fish got battered!

Q. Why did the dinosaur wear a bandage?
A. Because he had a dino-SORE!

Q. How do you make a milk shake?
A. Give it a good scare!

Q. What did the hat say to the scarf?
A. "You can hang around. I'll just go on a head!"

Q. What is black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
A. Two skunks fighting over a pickle.

Q. What did the volcanoes name their daughter?
A. MAGMAlena.

Q. Why did the mushroom have so many friends?
A. Because he was a fungi!

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. What do you call a snail with no shell?
A. A slug.

Q. What do you call a person who studies happy parrots?
A. A jollypollyoligist!

Q. Imagine you are in a boat. You were being circled by sharks. One shark is about to bite you. What should you do?
A. Stop imagining!

Q. Why was the ant confused?
A. Because all of his uncles were ants!

Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No idea. (No eye deer)

Q. What's yesterday's tomorrow?
A. Today!

Q. Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window?
A. He wanted to see time fly!

Q. There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?
A. A watermelon!

Q. What did Sergeant Peanut Butter shout to his jelly police officers?
A. "Spread out, men!"

Q. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A. A pouch potato.

Q. What can you break without touching it?
A. Someone's heart.

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.

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