Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

Read our huge collection of riddles. These funny jokes are sure to make you LOL!

Q. Why would it be silly to send a letter to Washington?
A. Because he is dead.

Q. What starts with a P and ends with an E and has thousands of letters?
A. The Post Office!

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. What starts and ends with an O and has hi in the middle?
A. Ohio!

Q. What do you call a bear who forgot his socks?
A. BEARfooted.

Q. What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
A. One is really heavy. The other is a little lighter.

Q. Which nail does a carpenter hate to hit?
A. A thumbnail.

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. What has a head and a tail but no body?
A. A coin?

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. How is bubble gum similar to a Wookie?
A. It's Chewy.

Q. Why did the Smartie go to school?
A. Because he wanted to be smarter.

Q. What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
A. "You go on without me, I'll ketchup!"

Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. Because KFC was on the other side.

Q. Why was the crab arrested?
A. For pinching!

Q. What is the most musical part of your body?
A. Your nose, you can blow it and pick it.

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Snowflakes!

Q. Which country is the slipperiest?
A. Greece!

Q. What do ghosts wear on their feet?
A. BOOts.

Q. Which tree doesn't play checkers?
A. The Chestnut.

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. To get to the MOOvies.

Q. What did Delaware?
A. A New Jersey!

Q. What is black, white and red all over?
A. An embarassed zebra!

Q. Why did the turkey cross the road?
A. Because it was the chicken's day off!

Q. Why did the bee get married?
A. Because she found her honey.

Q. Where do oak trees come from?
A. OAKlahoma.

Q. Why did the cookie cry?
A. Because his mother was a wafer too long!

Q. What happens if Peter Pan punches you?
A. You Neverland!

Q. Why were the police suspicious of the window drapes?
A. They were shady.

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. What do you call a frog that parks in a tow away zone?
A. A TOAD away zone.

Q. Why was the rope late for dinner?
A. It got tied up at the office.

Q. What's the longest word in the dictionary?
A. Rubber band because it stretches!

Q. What is a gas station's favorite type of shoes?
A. Pumps.

Q. What cat likes living in water?
A. An octoPUSS!

Q. What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A. "I love BOO!"

Q. What is the fastest country in the world?
A. Russia.

Q. What's a monkey's favorite snack?
A. Chocolate chimp cookies.

Q. What do you get if you cross poison ivy with a
four leaf clover?
A. A rash of good luck!

Q. What kind of murderer has fibre?
A. A cereal killer.

Q. What gets broken without being held?
A. A promise.

Q. Why do you never ask a dinosaur to read you a story?
A. Because their tales are so long.

Q. Why don't farmers sew?
A. Because their needle is in a haystack.

Q. There is a one story house and everything in it is blue. The walls are blue, the ceiling is blue and the floor is blue. What color are the stairs?
A. There are no stairs in a one story house!

Q. I am found on land and in the sea but I don't walk or swim. I travel by foot but I'm toeless. No matter where I go I'm never far from home. Who am I?
A. A snail.

Q. What did Shakespeare say to the pencil?
A. "Write on!"

Q. What do you call a smart pig?
A. CunningHAM!

Q. Why did the crab cross the road?
A. To get to the other the tide.

Q. Why did the baker stop making doughnuts?
A. He was annoyed with the HOLE business.

Q. Where does the rifle go?
A. To the Rifle Tower!

Q. If you are running in a race and you just passed the guy in second place what place are you in?
A. You are in second place!

Q. What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A. Finding half a worm in your apple.

Q. What runs around a house but never moves?
A. A fence.

Q. What do you call a fairy that hasn't taken a bath?
A. STINKerbell.

Q. What did Cinderella wear to the beach?
A. Glass flippers.

Q. What gets smaller as it gets higher?
A. An airplane!

Q. What is a cat's favorite color?
A. PURRple!

Q. Why couldn't the elephant move?
A. Because he couldn't lift his trunk!

Q. What comes twice in a week, never in a month and once in a year?
A. The letter E.

To see more riddles, click the Refresh button, below.

 We also have jokes about…