Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

Read our huge collection of riddles. These funny jokes are sure to make you LOL!

Q. Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A. Because it's too far to walk!

Q. Why doesn't a bald man need any keys?
A. Because he doesn't have any locks!

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. What did the iPhone say to the other iPhone?
A. "It is nice to text you."

Q. What has 6 eyes but cannot see?
A. Three blind mice.

Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!

Q. Why do cows wear bells?
A. Because their horns don't work!

Q. You're riding on a horse and you realize there's a lion chasing you and a giraffe is in front of you. What do you do?
A. Jump off the merry-go-round!

Q. Did you hear about the man who plugged his electric blanket into the toaster?
A. He kept popping out of bed all night!

Q. If athletes get athletes foot then what do astronauts get?
A. Missle-toe.

Q. What four letters frighten a thief?
A. O I C U!

Q. A duck, a cat and a cow went out to dinner, who had to pay?
A. The duck. He was the only one with a bill.

Q. What do you call a shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?
A. Lockjaw.

Q. What garden has the most vegetables?
A. Flash garden!

Q. Why did the lamb go to the river?
A. To get a BAA-th!

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Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. What did the dressing say to the refrigerator?
A. "Shut the door I am dressing!"

Q. Why did the gum cross the road?
A. It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

Q. Which letter of the alphabet keeps us waiting?
A. Q. (queue)

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
A. A creamy quacker!

Q. What type of queue do dolls like best?
A. A BBQ.

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Snowflakes!

Q. Why did the firefighter put his belt on?
A. To hold his pants up!

Q. What letter of the alphabet has the most water?
A. The letter C!

Q. What happens if Peter Pan punches you?
A. You Neverland!

Q. What has a tongue but can't talk?
A. A shoe!

Q. What is an astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard?
A. The space bar!

Q. How do you get Pikachu on the bus?
A. You Pokemon!

Q. What do you take before every meal?
A. A seat!

Q. What is green and white when it is up and red when it hits the ground?
A. A watermelon.

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Q. What is a porcupine's favourite game?
A. Poker.

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. What is green, small and round and goes up and down?
A. A pea in a lift.

Q. What does the Invisible Man drink at snack time?
A. Evaporated milk.

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A. Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?!

Q. What's the longest word in the dictionary?
A. Rubber band because it stretches!

Q. What do you call a snail on a ship?
A. A snailor.

Q. What do you call a kangaroo that sneezes alot?
A. A kanga-choo.

Q. Why do people like vampires so much?
A. Because they are FANGtastic!

Q. What fish will a greedy fisher catch?
A. Selfish!

Q. What did the calendar say to the other calendar?
A. "You want to go on a date with me?"

Q. What pet does everybody have?
A. A carPET!

Q. One cow is talking to another cow and looks away for 10 seconds and the other cow is gone. Where is the other cow?
A. Over the moon!

Q. What is a balloon's least favorite kind of music?
A. Pop!

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Q. Why did the elephant paint his fingernails red?
A. So he could hide in a bowl of cherries.

Q. How do you stop a mouse from squealing?
A. Oil it.

Q. What did the 0 say to the 8?
A. "Nice belt."

Q. What is the only question you can never answer honestly with a yes?
A. "Are you asleep?"

Q. Why did the dinosaur wear a bandage?
A. Because he had a dino-SORE!

Q. Why can't a leopard hide?
A. Because he's always spotted!

Q. Why did the boy bury his flashlight?
A. Because the batteries were dead.

Q. Why did the young cat get arrested ?
A. For his litter!

Q. What does a polar bear use to keep his head warm?
A. A polar ice cap.

Q. How do you spell mousetrap with ONLY three letters?
A. C-A-T!

Q. As I get older, I become shorter. What am I?
A. A pencil!

Q. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A. A BULL-dozer.

Q. Why did the grandma sit in the rocking chair with her roller blades on?
A. Because she wanted to rock and roll.

Q. What is red and has fangs?
A. An apple. I lied about the fangs!

Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
A. MONSTERizer!

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