Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

Read our huge collection of riddles. These funny jokes are sure to make you LOL!

Q. What do you call a flying jelly?
A. A jelly copter.

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. Which wolf got lost in the woods?
A. The WHEREwolf.

Q. What did the candle say to the other candle?
A. "Are you going out tonight?"

Q. Does France have a fourth of July?
A. Of course they do.

Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.

Q. What 10 letter word starts with gas?
A. An A-U-T-O-M-O-B-I-L-E.

Q. There is a one story house and everything in it is blue. The walls are blue, the ceiling is blue and the floor is blue. What color are the stairs?
A. There are no stairs in a one story house!

Q. What letter of the alphabet has the most water?
A. The letter C!

Q. Whoever makes it, tells it not. Whoever takes it, knows it not. Whoever knows it, wants it not. What is it?
A. Counterfeit money.

Q. How many letters are in envelope?
A. One.

Q. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A. Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.

Q. What do fish take to stay alive?
A. Vitamin sea.

Q. Why did the Smartie go to school?
A. Because he wanted to be smarter.

Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!

Q. How do you make a milk shake?
A. Give it a good scare!

Q. What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
A. Jurassic Pork.

Q. What do you call an an ant sticking out of the ground?
A. A plANT!

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. What did Cinderella say to the photographer?
A. "Someday my prints will come!"

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A. Doyouthinkhesarus?

Q. What do eagles do when they coach a sports team?
A. They wing it.

Q. What kind of bird uses ink to write?
A. A PEN-guin!

Q. Why was the calculator sad?
A. Because it had too many problems to solve!

Q. What did the creek say to the brook?
A. "Stop babbling!"

Q. How do you make a sausage roll?
A. Push it down the hill!

Q. What's the difference between a dirty dime and a clean nickel?
A. 5 cents.

Q. What does a tree drink?
A. Root beer!

Q. What insect is an arithmetic insect?
A. A mosquito! They add to misery, subtract from pleasure, divide the attention and multiply quickly!

Q. Why did the fish have no money on him?
A. He left it all at the bank.

Q. What did the fish say to the other fish?
A. "(O)(o)(O)(o)(O)" (Hello)

Q. What starts with a P and ends with an E and has thousands of letters?
A. The Post Office!

Q. What's a cat's favourite magazine?
A. A CAT-alogue.

Q. Did you hear the joke about the egg that rolled in front of a truck?
A. Most people find they crack up!

Q. Why did the cow want some cheese?
A. Because it's MOOlicious!

Q. Why did the gum cross the road?
A. It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because she was getting tired of just standing there!

Q. What happens if you call 611 for the police?
A. The police car comes to you upside down!

Q. What letter is a European bird?
A. J.

Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!

Q. What did the volcanoes name their daughter?
A. MAGMAlena.

Q. Why was the crab arrested?
A. For pinching!

Q. What did the judge say when the skunk entered the court?
A. "Odor in the court!"

Q. What do you get if you cross poison ivy with a
four leaf clover?
A. A rash of good luck!

Q. What was the name of Noah's wife?
A. Yesa!

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Snowflakes!

Q. What is the cat's favorite button on the remote?
A. Paws.

Q. What is a flower between your nose and your chin?
A. Two lips. (Tulips)

Q. Why do cats always go after mice and birds?
A. Because cats like fast food.

Q. What did the zero say to the eight?
A. "Oh, I like your belt!"

Q. Why did the starfish breakup with the lobster?
A. Because he was SHELLfish.

Q. Why don't ducks tell jokes when they are flying?
A. Because they just might quack up.

Q. If the red house is in the left and the blue house is on the right, where is the white house ?
A. Washington DC.

Q. Imagine you are in a metal box. There is no way of getting out. You have no tools or food. How do you get out and survive?
A. You stop imagining!

Q. Why did the girl bring a ruler to bed with her?
A. She wanted to see how long she slept.

Q. What kind of motorcycle does a pig drive?
A. A hog!

Q. What runs but never walks?
A. Water.

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