Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

Read our huge collection of riddles. These funny jokes are sure to make you LOL!

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Snowflakes!

Q. What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder?
A. He got a little behind in his work!

Q. What did the tree say to the light bulb?
A. "Hey! Just had a bright idea!"

Q. A rabbit hops by IHOP. He looks at the sign. What does he say?
A. "Big deal, so do I."

Q. Why can't a leopard hide?
A. Because he's always spotted!

Q. What animal should you not play cards with?
A. A Cheetah!

Q. What letter is a part of the head?
A. I.

Q. What did the judge say when the skunk entered the court?
A. "Odor in the court!"

Q. What is a volcano?
A. A mountain with hiccups!

Q. Can February March?
A. No, but April May.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A. To get to the other slide.

Q. What game do tornados play?
A. Twister.

Q. What gets broken without being held?
A. A promise.

Q. What do miners put on their face at night?
A. Coal cream.

Q. What do cows like to put on their sandwiches?
A. MOOstard!

Q. What do you get when you cross a clam and a rabbit?
A. The oyster bunny!

Q. What did one cliff say to the other cliff?
A. "Don't try to bluff me."

Q. What do you call a woodpecker with no beak?
A. A head banger.

Q. Where do oak trees come from?
A. OAKlahoma.

Q. If there was a spelling test, which animal would win?
A. The bee!

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. Why would it be silly to send a letter to Washington?
A. Because he is dead.

Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. Pork Chop!

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. Where can you always find happiness?
A. In a dictionary!

Q. Why do cows wear bells?
A. Because their horns don't work!

Q. What is an astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard?
A. The space bar!

Q. Where did the mother monster put her child when she was at work?
A. At day-SCARE!

Q. What does a triceratops sit on?
A. It's tricera-bottom!

Q. What did the man say to the butcher at the deli?
A. "I never sausage a place"

Q. Why couldn't the girl finish her music homework?
A. Because she forgot her notebook!

Q. Why couldn't the elephant move?
A. Because he couldn't lift his trunk!

Q. What always runs, never walks, often murmurs, never talks, has a bed but doesn't sleep, has a mouth but never eats?
A. A river!

Q. What do you get when you put a radio in a fridge?
A. Cool music!

Q. What do you call two spiders who just got married?
A. Newlyweb!

Q. What school do planets and stars go to to study?
A. UNIVERSity!

Q. What relatives are dependent on U?
A. Aunt, uncle, cousin. They all need U.

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. How do you make a sausage roll?
A. Push it down the hill!

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. What has hands but no arms?
A. A clock.

Q. How do you get 6 donkeys into a fire engine?
A. Two in the front, two in the back and two on the top going, "He-haw, he-haw!"

Q. I am the beginning of end and the end of time and space. I am essential to creation and I surround every place. What am I?
A. The letter E!

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. What is red and has fangs?
A. An apple. I lied about the fangs!

Q. Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to see his flat mate!

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. Why was the rope late for dinner?
A. It got tied up at the office.

Q. What place has the most cows?
A. Moo York. (New York)

Q. What is black, white and red?
A. A panda with a rash!

Q. What do you get if you cross some bubble bath and a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Foams.

Q. What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
A. Open TOAD sandals.

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.

Q. What do you give a frog at a hospital?
A. A HOPeration!

Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
A. Boo!

Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?
A. CELL phones.

Q. Why are rivers so rich?
A. Because they have 2 banks.

Q. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean?
A. Nothing, they just waved!

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