Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

School Jokes

We've got lots of funny School jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A. A synonym roll.

Q. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A. To stay in shape!

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. Where do pencils come from?
A. Pennsylvania.

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Jokes

A teacher asked a boy a question after she had read her lesson. The boy just held his ears and shut his mouth "Why are you not giving me any answer?" "Because what ever you taught me goes in my ears and if I open my mouth, I will forget everything you said."
 

A boy showed his mom his report card and said, "Mom I'm 3rd in my class." The mom said, "Good job!" Then the boy said, "But there are only three boys in my class!"
 

There was a really dumb girl and she failed a test. Her teacher wanted her to come in after school and make it up. On the note home to her parents the teacher wrote: Make up test. The following day the girl brought lipstick and eye shadow to school.
 

A boy came home from school. "How much did you learn in school today?" His mother asked. "Not enough, I have to go back again tomorrow."
 

Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? Simon: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach. Kelly: You mean she is really nice? Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

Once there was a boy who needed to do his home work. His homework was to write down his family's favourite words. So when he got home he asked his mom who was listening to the radio, "What is your favourite word mom?" "Shut up!" So he wrote that down. Then he went to his dad who was watching football and his favourite team had just scored a goal, so the little boy asked his dad,"What is your favourite word dad?" "Yeah!" So he wrote that down. Next he went to his big sister and he asked her, "What is your favourite word?" She was listening to her favourite CD and said, "A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop." So he wrote that down. Next he went to his brother. He was watching the end of Batman, he asked him, "What is your favourite word?" "Nananananananana Batman!" so he wrote that down. Then he went to his baby sister who was playing with her cars. So he asked her, "What is your favourite word?" "Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car." So he wrote that down. The next day at school, the teacher asked him to share his homework with the class He said, "Shut up!" The teacher said, "Do you want to go to the principal's office?" "Yeah!" "What do you think you deserve?" "A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop." "Who do you think you are?" "Nananananananana Batman!" "What do you think you are going to get away with?" "Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car."
 

Principal: Well, Ronald, I hear you missed the first day back to school. Ronald: Yeah, but I didn't miss it very much.
 

Teacher: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? Glen: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
 

Teacher: Have you completed the work at home? Student: No, sir. Teacher (angrily): Why? Student: Because my father has hired servants to do the work at home.
 


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