Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

School Jokes

We've got lots of funny School jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Q. What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A. A synonym roll.

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Jokes

A teacher says to a student, "I thought I told you to go to the back of the line?" The student says, "I did, but someone was there!"
 

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your dad for another, how much would you have? Boy: One dollar. Teacher: Are you sure? Boy: Yes, my dad wouldn't give me a dollar!
 

Teacher: What is the purpose of having school? Student: Without school, there wouldn't be a reason for holidays and summer vacation.
 

Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? John: You told me to do it without using tables.
 

Once there was a boy who needed to do his home work. His homework was to write down his family's favourite words. So when he got home he asked his mom who was listening to the radio, "What is your favourite word mom?" "Shut up!" So he wrote that down. Then he went to his dad who was watching football and his favourite team had just scored a goal, so the little boy asked his dad,"What is your favourite word dad?" "Yeah!" So he wrote that down. Next he went to his big sister and he asked her, "What is your favourite word?" She was listening to her favourite CD and said, "A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop." So he wrote that down. Next he went to his brother. He was watching the end of Batman, he asked him, "What is your favourite word?" "Nananananananana Batman!" so he wrote that down. Then he went to his baby sister who was playing with her cars. So he asked her, "What is your favourite word?" "Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car." So he wrote that down. The next day at school, the teacher asked him to share his homework with the class He said, "Shut up!" The teacher said, "Do you want to go to the principal's office?" "Yeah!" "What do you think you deserve?" "A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop." "Who do you think you are?" "Nananananananana Batman!" "What do you think you are going to get away with?" "Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car."
 

Invisible Boy's Mother: Why are your grades so low? Invisible Boy: Because the teacher always marks me absent.
 

Teacher: How many seconds in a minute? Student: 60 Teacher: How many minutes in an hour? Student: 60 Teacher: Good, now for a hard one, how many seconds in a year? Student: 12 Teacher: 12? Student: Yes, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...
 

It was the first day of school and the teacher asked all the troublemakers to stand up. Finally this girl stood up and the teacher asked, "Are you a troublemaker?" The girl said, "No." The teacher asked why she was standing and the girl said, "You looked lonely."
 

Teacher: Are you cold? Student: Yes. Teacher: Go sit in the corner it's 90 degrees!
 

Joey: Little Joey can't come to school today. Principal: Why? Joey: He is sick Principal: Who is this? Joey: It's my dad.
 


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