Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

School Jokes

We've got lots of funny School jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Jokes

A small boy is asked to find out what the first 4 letters of the alphabet are for his homework. "Mum, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" "Shut up and go away," she replied. The boy went to his dad. "Dad, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" "YYYYEEEAAAHHH!!!" The boy's dad roared; football was on the TV and his team had scored. "Brother, what is the third letter of the alphabet?" The boy asked his brother, who was playing with his action men. "Action Man, the greatest hero of them all!" He cried. "Sister, what is the fourth letter of the alphabet?" The boy's sister was playing with her Barbie dolls. "Drive away in the Barbie car, beep, beep!" The boy's sister sang. The next day in school the teacher asked the boy what the first letter was. "Shut up and go away!" He replied. "Do you want to see the head teacher?" Teacher yells. "YEAH!!" The boy is sent to the head teacher. "Who do you think you are?" The headmaster shouts in his face. "Action Man, the greatest hero of them all!" "How do you think you're going to get away with this?" "Drive away in the Barbie car, beep, beep!"
 

Teacher: Order children, order! Student 1: I want a burger! Student 2: I want chocolate ice cream! Student 3: I want Lasagne! Teacher: Sheesh! Students: (laughing) Sorry!!!
 

A boy walked into his classroom late. "Why are you late?" the teacher asked. "Because I saw a dead cat on the way to school," he said. "How did you know it was dead?" "I PSST in its ear." "YOU DID WHAT!?" "Yeah, I bent down and went PSST in its ear and it didn't move."
 

Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Harold: A teacher.
 

Dear Teacher, Roses are red Voilets aren't gray I give you this card Now give me an A From Jimmy
 

If teachers are so smart then why are they in school?
 

Mom: What did you learn on your first day of school? Child: Not enough, they want me to come back tomorrow!
 

Teacher: How many seconds in a minute? Student: 60 Teacher: How many minutes in an hour? Student: 60 Teacher: Good, now for a hard one, how many seconds in a year? Student: 12 Teacher: 12? Student: Yes, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...
 

"Explain the theory of expansion and contraction," the teacher asked one of the pupils. "A substance expands when it is heated and contracts when it is cooled." "No wonder we have a long vacation in summer and a short one in winter," remarked another pupil.
 

Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat anywhere they want.
 


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