Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

School Jokes

We've got lots of funny School jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.

Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Jokes

Dear Teacher, Roses are red Voilets aren't gray I give you this card Now give me an A From Jimmy
 

A teacher once asked a boy, "Where is the Dead Sea?" The boy replied, "Miss, I never knew it was sick."
 

A boy came home from school. "How much did you learn in school today?" His mother asked. "Not enough, I have to go back again tomorrow."
 

Teacher: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? Glen: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
 

A teacher says to a student, "I thought I told you to go to the back of the line?" The student says, "I did, but someone was there!"
 

Art teacher: Mimi, I told the class to draw a horse and cart, but you have only drawn a horse! Mimi: Yes sir, the horse will draw the cart!
 

Once there was a boy who needed to do his home work. His homework was to write down his family's favourite words. So when he got home he asked his mom who was listening to the radio, "What is your favourite word mom?" "Shut up!" So he wrote that down. Then he went to his dad who was watching football and his favourite team had just scored a goal, so the little boy asked his dad,"What is your favourite word dad?" "Yeah!" So he wrote that down. Next he went to his big sister and he asked her, "What is your favourite word?" She was listening to her favourite CD and said, "A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop." So he wrote that down. Next he went to his brother. He was watching the end of Batman, he asked him, "What is your favourite word?" "Nananananananana Batman!" so he wrote that down. Then he went to his baby sister who was playing with her cars. So he asked her, "What is your favourite word?" "Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car." So he wrote that down. The next day at school, the teacher asked him to share his homework with the class He said, "Shut up!" The teacher said, "Do you want to go to the principal's office?" "Yeah!" "What do you think you deserve?" "A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop." "Who do you think you are?" "Nananananananana Batman!" "What do you think you are going to get away with?" "Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car."
 

Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? Simon: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
 

Student: The brain is a wonderful thing. Teacher: Why do you say that? Student: Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!
 

The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present. The student: I walk. You walk, .. The teacher interrupts him: Quicker please. The student: I run. You run.
 


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