Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

School Jokes

We've got lots of funny School jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A. Because the teacher told him to take a seat.

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A. Because she thought it was a high school.

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Jokes

"Explain the theory of expansion and contraction," the teacher asked one of the pupils. "A substance expands when it is heated and contracts when it is cooled." "No wonder we have a long vacation in summer and a short one in winter," remarked another pupil.
 

Dear Teacher, Roses are red Voilets aren't gray I give you this card Now give me an A From Jimmy
 

Teacher: Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring? Nick: What do you think it is, Sir? Teacher: I don't think, I KNOW! Nick: I don't think I know either, Sir!
 

Teacher: Take a seat! Student: Take it where?
 

If teachers are so smart then why are they in school?
 

A boy came home from school. "How much did you learn in school today?" His mother asked. "Not enough, I have to go back again tomorrow."
 

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your dad for another, how much would you have? Boy: One dollar. Teacher: Are you sure? Boy: Yes, my dad wouldn't give me a dollar!
 

There was a really dumb girl and she failed a test. Her teacher wanted her to come in after school and make it up. On the note home to her parents the teacher wrote: Make up test. The following day the girl brought lipstick and eye shadow to school.
 

Mom: Why aren't you doing well in history? Child: Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!
 

Mom: What did you learn on your first day of school? Child: Not enough, they want me to come back tomorrow!
 


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