Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

School Jokes

We've got lots of funny School jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. Which bet can't be won?
A. Alphabet.

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

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Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

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Jokes

A teacher said, "Children, stand in a straight circle!"
 

Teacher: How many seconds in a minute? Student: 60 Teacher: How many minutes in an hour? Student: 60 Teacher: Good, now for a hard one, how many seconds in a year? Student: 12 Teacher: 12? Student: Yes, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...
 

A boy was told to write a 100 word essay. He thought for a bit then started. 'I went out to call my cat in for the night, so I called 'kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty...'
 

The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present. The student: I walk. You walk, .. The teacher interrupts him: Quicker please. The student: I run. You run.
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach. Kelly: You mean she is really nice? Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

Principal: Well, Ronald, I hear you missed the first day back to school. Ronald: Yeah, but I didn't miss it very much.
 

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile? Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L. Teacher: No, that's wrong. GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
 

Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing? Johnny: Nothing, sir. Headmaster: Exactly.
 

A teacher once asked a boy, "Where is the Dead Sea?" The boy replied, "Miss, I never knew it was sick."
 

A boy showed his mom his report card and said, "Mom I'm 3rd in my class." The mom said, "Good job!" Then the boy said, "But there are only three boys in my class!"
 


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