Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

School Jokes

We've got lots of funny School jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.

Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

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Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

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Jokes

A teacher said, "Children, stand in a straight circle!"
 

A teacher said to his students, "Give me a sentence with lettuce." The students said, "Lettuce out of school early!"
 

"Teacher, Teacher I need to pee!" "Let me hear your ABC's." "Okay, A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y and Z." "Good job, except where is the P?" "Halfway down my leg!"
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

Teacher: Are you cold? Student: Yes. Teacher: Go sit in the corner it's 90 degrees!
 

When Dad came home he was astonished to see Alec sitting on a horse writing something. "What on earth are you doing up there?" Dad asked. "Well the teacher told us to write an essay on our favourite animal. That's why I'm up here and sitting on the goldfish bowl!"
 

Teacher: Mark can you tell me what you would like to be in the future? Mark: I'd like to be a billionaire and be famous. Teacher: Interesting, what about you Esther. Esther: I'd like to be Mark's wife!
 

Teacher: Joe, can you name two pronouns? Joe just waking up: Who, me?
 

A boy was told to write a 100 word essay. He thought for a bit then started. 'I went out to call my cat in for the night, so I called 'kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty...'
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 


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