Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

School Jokes

We've got lots of funny School jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Jokes

Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Harold: A teacher.
 

A teacher once asked a boy, "Where is the Dead Sea?" The boy replied, "Miss, I never knew it was sick."
 

Teacher: Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring? Nick: What do you think it is, Sir? Teacher: I don't think, I KNOW! Nick: I don't think I know either, Sir!
 

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the classroom. The teacher asked why are you arguing. One of the boys said, "We found a $10 bill and decided to give it to the person who tells the biggest lie." The teacher said, "You should be ashamed of yourselves. When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie meant." The two boys gave the $10 bill to the teacher.
 

When Dad came home he was astonished to see Alec sitting on a horse writing something. "What on earth are you doing up there?" Dad asked. "Well the teacher told us to write an essay on our favourite animal. That's why I'm up here and sitting on the goldfish bowl!"
 

Teacher: How many seconds in a minute? Student: 60 Teacher: How many minutes in an hour? Student: 60 Teacher: Good, now for a hard one, how many seconds in a year? Student: 12 Teacher: 12? Student: Yes, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...
 

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". Student: I is the... Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an I. Always put 'am' after an I. Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
 

The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present. The student: I walk. You walk, .. The teacher interrupts him: Quicker please. The student: I run. You run.
 

A teacher says to a student, "I thought I told you to go to the back of the line?" The student says, "I did, but someone was there!"
 

Teacher: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? Glen: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
 


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