Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

School Jokes

We've got lots of funny School jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A. To stay in shape!

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A. Because the teacher told him to take a seat.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Jokes

Invisible Boy's Mother: Why are your grades so low? Invisible Boy: Because the teacher always marks me absent.
 

Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it. Student: If I had a sweater with ten buttons and two fell off, then I would only have to fascinate (fasten eight)!
 

A boy walked into his classroom late. "Why are you late?" the teacher asked. "Because I saw a dead cat on the way to school," he said. "How did you know it was dead?" "I PSST in its ear." "YOU DID WHAT!?" "Yeah, I bent down and went PSST in its ear and it didn't move."
 

A teacher asked a boy a question after she had read her lesson. The boy just held his ears and shut his mouth "Why are you not giving me any answer?" "Because what ever you taught me goes in my ears and if I open my mouth, I will forget everything you said."
 

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? Donald: H I J K L M N O. Teacher: What are you talking about? Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
 

Student: The brain is a wonderful thing. Teacher: Why do you say that? Student: Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!
 

Teacher: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? Glen: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
 

Teacher: If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took two, what would you get? Billy: A fight!
 

A boy came home from school. "How much did you learn in school today?" His mother asked. "Not enough, I have to go back again tomorrow."
 

A boy showed his mom his report card and said, "Mom I'm 3rd in my class." The mom said, "Good job!" Then the boy said, "But there are only three boys in my class!"
 


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