Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

School Jokes

We've got lots of funny School jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Jokes

Teacher: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? Glen: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
 

Teacher: Order children, order! Student 1: I want a burger! Student 2: I want chocolate ice cream! Student 3: I want Lasagne! Teacher: Sheesh! Students: (laughing) Sorry!!!
 

A teacher said, "Children, stand in a straight circle!"
 

Dear Teacher, Roses are red Voilets aren't gray I give you this card Now give me an A From Jimmy
 

Teacher: Fred, the story you handed in called "Our Dog," is exactly like your brother's. Fred: Of course. It's the same dog.
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? Simon: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
 

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? Donald: H I J K L M N O. Teacher: What are you talking about? Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
 

Teacher: Take a seat! Student: Take it where?
 

A boy came home from school. "How much did you learn in school today?" His mother asked. "Not enough, I have to go back again tomorrow."
 


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