Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

School Jokes

We've got lots of funny School jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Jokes

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach. Kelly: You mean she is really nice? Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

Student: The brain is a wonderful thing. Teacher: Why do you say that? Student: Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!
 

Teacher: Joe, can you name two pronouns? Joe just waking up: Who, me?
 

Student asking his teacher: Do you punish people for things they don't do? Teacher: No. Student: Good, because I haven't done my homework today.
 

Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth? Boy: I don't know? Teacher: Think of the apple story. Boy: I know, Granny Smith!
 

Teacher: Take a seat! Student: Take it where?
 

Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it. Student: If I had a sweater with ten buttons and two fell off, then I would only have to fascinate (fasten eight)!
 

Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Harold: A teacher.
 

Mother: George, why does your geography exam have a big zero over it? George: It is not a zero, Mum. The teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead!
 

Principal: Well, Ronald, I hear you missed the first day back to school. Ronald: Yeah, but I didn't miss it very much.
 


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