Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

School Jokes

We've got lots of funny School jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. Where do pencils come from?
A. Pennsylvania.

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A. Because the teacher told him to take a seat.

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.

Q. Which bet can't be won?
A. Alphabet.

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Jokes

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". Student: I is the... Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an I. Always put 'am' after an I. Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
 

Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4? Student: That's not fair! You answered the easy ones and left me with the hard one!
 

A small boy is asked to find out what the first 4 letters of the alphabet are for his homework. "Mum, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" "Shut up and go away," she replied. The boy went to his dad. "Dad, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" "YYYYEEEAAAHHH!!!" The boy's dad roared; football was on the TV and his team had scored. "Brother, what is the third letter of the alphabet?" The boy asked his brother, who was playing with his action men. "Action Man, the greatest hero of them all!" He cried. "Sister, what is the fourth letter of the alphabet?" The boy's sister was playing with her Barbie dolls. "Drive away in the Barbie car, beep, beep!" The boy's sister sang. The next day in school the teacher asked the boy what the first letter was. "Shut up and go away!" He replied. "Do you want to see the head teacher?" Teacher yells. "YEAH!!" The boy is sent to the head teacher. "Who do you think you are?" The headmaster shouts in his face. "Action Man, the greatest hero of them all!" "How do you think you're going to get away with this?" "Drive away in the Barbie car, beep, beep!"
 

A teacher asked a boy a question after she had read her lesson. The boy just held his ears and shut his mouth "Why are you not giving me any answer?" "Because what ever you taught me goes in my ears and if I open my mouth, I will forget everything you said."
 

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? Donald: H I J K L M N O. Teacher: What are you talking about? Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
 

Student asking his teacher: Do you punish people for things they don't do? Teacher: No. Student: Good, because I haven't done my homework today.
 

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. Winnie: Me!
 

A teacher once asked a boy, "Where is the Dead Sea?" The boy replied, "Miss, I never knew it was sick."
 

A boy came home from school. "How much did you learn in school today?" His mother asked. "Not enough, I have to go back again tomorrow."
 

There was a kid named Joey and he couldn't add, so when they had a test on addition he copied off John's paper. When he was finished with the test his teacher said: Joey why did you copy off John's paper? Joey: I didn't. Teacher: Yes you did. Joey: How did you know? Teacher: I knew because when John wrote, "I don't know," on question #6, you wrote, "me neither."
 


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