Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

School Jokes

We've got lots of funny School jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. Where do pencils come from?
A. Pennsylvania.

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

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Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

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Jokes

Dear Teacher, Roses are red Voilets aren't gray I give you this card Now give me an A From Jimmy
 

Teacher: Have you completed the work at home? Student: No, sir. Teacher (angrily): Why? Student: Because my father has hired servants to do the work at home.
 

Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? John: You told me to do it without using tables.
 

Teacher: What is the purpose of having school? Student: Without school, there wouldn't be a reason for holidays and summer vacation.
 

Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing? Johnny: Nothing, sir. Headmaster: Exactly.
 

Mother: George, why does your geography exam have a big zero over it? George: It is not a zero, Mum. The teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead!
 

Principal: Well, Ronald, I hear you missed the first day back to school. Ronald: Yeah, but I didn't miss it very much.
 

Teacher: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? Glen: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

A boy walked into his classroom late. "Why are you late?" the teacher asked. "Because I saw a dead cat on the way to school," he said. "How did you know it was dead?" "I PSST in its ear." "YOU DID WHAT!?" "Yeah, I bent down and went PSST in its ear and it didn't move."
 


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