Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

School Jokes

We've got lots of funny School jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. Where do pencils come from?
A. Pennsylvania.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.

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Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

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Jokes

Joey: Little Joey can't come to school today. Principal: Why? Joey: He is sick Principal: Who is this? Joey: It's my dad.
 

Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4? Student: That's not fair! You answered the easy ones and left me with the hard one!
 

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. Winnie: Me!
 

Teacher: How many seconds in a minute? Student: 60 Teacher: How many minutes in an hour? Student: 60 Teacher: Good, now for a hard one, how many seconds in a year? Student: 12 Teacher: 12? Student: Yes, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...
 

Teacher: If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took two, what would you get? Billy: A fight!
 

Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it.
 

Once there was a boy who needed to do his home work. His homework was to write down his family's favourite words. So when he got home he asked his mom who was listening to the radio, "What is your favourite word mom?" "Shut up!" So he wrote that down. Then he went to his dad who was watching football and his favourite team had just scored a goal, so the little boy asked his dad,"What is your favourite word dad?" "Yeah!" So he wrote that down. Next he went to his big sister and he asked her, "What is your favourite word?" She was listening to her favourite CD and said, "A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop." So he wrote that down. Next he went to his brother. He was watching the end of Batman, he asked him, "What is your favourite word?" "Nananananananana Batman!" so he wrote that down. Then he went to his baby sister who was playing with her cars. So he asked her, "What is your favourite word?" "Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car." So he wrote that down. The next day at school, the teacher asked him to share his homework with the class He said, "Shut up!" The teacher said, "Do you want to go to the principal's office?" "Yeah!" "What do you think you deserve?" "A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop." "Who do you think you are?" "Nananananananana Batman!" "What do you think you are going to get away with?" "Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car."
 

Student asking his teacher: Do you punish people for things they don't do? Teacher: No. Student: Good, because I haven't done my homework today.
 

Teacher: How do you spell Mississippi? George: The state or the river?
 

Art teacher: Mimi, I told the class to draw a horse and cart, but you have only drawn a horse! Mimi: Yes sir, the horse will draw the cart!
 


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