Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

School Jokes

We've got lots of funny School jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Jokes

A teacher once asked a boy, "Where is the Dead Sea?" The boy replied, "Miss, I never knew it was sick."
 

Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing? Johnny: Nothing, sir. Headmaster: Exactly.
 

Art teacher: Mimi, I told the class to draw a horse and cart, but you have only drawn a horse! Mimi: Yes sir, the horse will draw the cart!
 

Teacher: If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took two, what would you get? Billy: A fight!
 

Teacher: Who is smart? Put up your hand. Then all the students except Ken raise their hand. Teacher: Ken, why aren't you raising your hand? Ken: Because if I raise my hand than you'll be all alone.
 

Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Harold: A teacher.
 

A boy was told to write a 100 word essay. He thought for a bit then started. 'I went out to call my cat in for the night, so I called 'kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty...'
 

Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat anywhere they want.
 

A teacher says to a student, "I thought I told you to go to the back of the line?" The student says, "I did, but someone was there!"
 

Teacher: How do you spell Mississippi? George: The state or the river?
 


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