Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Insect Jokes

We've got lots of funny Insect jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. What do you call a 100-year-old ant?
A. ANT-ique.

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. Where do bees go after they are married?
A. On their HONEY-moon!

Q. What did the bee say to the naughty bee?
A. "Bee-hive yourself!"

Q. What's an insect's favorite sport?
A. Cricket.

Q. What did the Pink Panther say after he stepped on the ant?
A. "Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant!"

Q. How do bees get to school?
A. By school BUZZ!

Q. What kind of animals do clocks have?
A. Ticks.

Q. Why can you never trust spiders?
A. Because they post stuff on the web.

Q. What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A. A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.

Q. What do bees use to tidy their hair?
A. A honey comb.

Q. What insect has great baseball skills?
A. A pop fly!

Q. What insect is an arithmetic insect?
A. A mosquito! They add to misery, subtract from pleasure, divide the attention and multiply quickly!

Q. What do you get if you throw butter?
A. A butterfly!

Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. What do you call two spiders who just got married?
A. Newlyweb!

Q. What happened to the bed bugs who fell in love?
A. They got married in the spring.

Q. What do you call an ant who studies accounts?
A. An accountANT.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Larva
Larva who?
I larva you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Roach
Roach who?
Roach out and touch someone!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Termite
Termite who?
Termite's the night!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Abby
Abby who?
A bee just stung me!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Honey bee
Honey bee who?
Honey bee a sweetie and get me some chips.

Jokes

The insects were playing against a team of flies. The flies were winning 30 to 0. At the third quarter the insects put a millepede in the game, he scored a total of 50 points. At the end of the game the coach of the flies asked the coach of the insects, "Why didn't you put the millepede in the first quarter?" "Because it takes him forever to put his shoes on!"
 

There was a man that studied bugs. He caught a cockroach and put it on the floor of his lab, and said "Walk," and the cockroach walked. He cut off one of the legs on the cockroach and said walk again and the cockroach walked. He went on cutting off the cockroaches legs and telling it to walk. When he cut of all six of its legs the cockroach did not walk. The man wrote in his report that when you cut off all of the legs on a cockroach it becomes deaf.
 

Patron: Waiter, what's this Praying Mantis doing in my soup? Waiter: Saying grace.
 

A snail purchased a new sports car. He told the salesperson that he wanted the letter "S" painted on both sides of the car. The salesman asked what is the "S" for? Snail? The Snail answered, "No, when I drive by I want people to say "Wow, look at that 'S' car go!" (escargo)
 

The insects were playing against a team of flies. The flies were winning 30to 0. At the third quarter the insects put a millepede in the game, he scored a total of 50 points. At the end of the game the coach of the flies asked the coach of the insects, "Why didn't you put the millepede in the first quarter?" "Because it takes him forever to put his shoes on!"
 


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