Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Insect Jokes

We've got lots of funny Insect jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the spider take a laptop to the beach?
A. So it could surf the web.

Q. What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A. A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.

Q. What did the bee say when he returned to the hive?
A. "Honey, I'm home!"

Q. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a centipede?
A. Drumsticks for everyone!

Q. What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A. Finding half a worm in your apple.

Q. Which pillar is not used in a building?
A. A caterpillar.

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. What do bees use to tidy their hair?
A. A honey comb.

Q. What do you call a 100-year-old ant?
A. ANT-ique.

Q. What do you call a musical insect?
A. A humbug.

Q. Why did the spider buy a car?
A. So he could take it out for a spin!

Q. What did one cool bee say to the other?
A. "Buzz off, dude!"

Q. What insect is an arithmetic insect?
A. A mosquito! They add to misery, subtract from pleasure, divide the attention and multiply quickly!

Q. What kind of bug goes Zzub Zzub?
A. A bumble bee flying backward!

Q. How can you tell which end is the head of a worm?
A. Tickle the middle and see where it laughs!

Q. Why are bees so sticky?
A. They use honey combs!

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. What do you get if you throw butter?
A. A butterfly!

Q. What do you call a dancing ant?
A. A dANTcer!

Q. Why can you never trust spiders?
A. Because they post stuff on the web.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Honey bee
Honey bee who?
Honey bee a sweetie and get me some chips.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Larva
Larva who?
I larva you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Roach
Roach who?
Roach out and touch someone!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Termite
Termite who?
Termite's the night!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Abby
Abby who?
A bee just stung me!

Jokes

The insects were playing against a team of flies. The flies were winning 30to 0. At the third quarter the insects put a millepede in the game, he scored a total of 50 points. At the end of the game the coach of the flies asked the coach of the insects, "Why didn't you put the millepede in the first quarter?" "Because it takes him forever to put his shoes on!"
 

There was a man that studied bugs. He caught a cockroach and put it on the floor of his lab, and said "Walk," and the cockroach walked. He cut off one of the legs on the cockroach and said walk again and the cockroach walked. He went on cutting off the cockroaches legs and telling it to walk. When he cut of all six of its legs the cockroach did not walk. The man wrote in his report that when you cut off all of the legs on a cockroach it becomes deaf.
 

The insects were playing against a team of flies. The flies were winning 30 to 0. At the third quarter the insects put a millepede in the game, he scored a total of 50 points. At the end of the game the coach of the flies asked the coach of the insects, "Why didn't you put the millepede in the first quarter?" "Because it takes him forever to put his shoes on!"
 

Patron: Waiter, what's this Praying Mantis doing in my soup? Waiter: Saying grace.
 

A snail purchased a new sports car. He told the salesperson that he wanted the letter "S" painted on both sides of the car. The salesman asked what is the "S" for? Snail? The Snail answered, "No, when I drive by I want people to say "Wow, look at that 'S' car go!" (escargo)
 


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