Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes

We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.

Q. Where is the zombie's favorite room in the house?
A. The living room.

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost and a goblin?
A. I don't know, but it doesn't sound good to me!

Q. Why didn't the ghost go boo?
A. Because it had no guts.

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
A. A plumpkin!

Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away her W.

Q. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?
A. Dead ringers.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he had no guts.

Q. Why was Dracula put in jail?
A. He tried to rob a blood bank.

Q. What do you call a nervous witch?
A. A twitch.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. Why did the ghost join the team?
A. They needed more spirit!

Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. SPOOKgetti!

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. "You are my sunshine!"

Q. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A. "Long time no see."

Q. Why are ghosts always hungry?
A. Because the food goes right through them!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Jokes

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm? Alan: No, is he ok? Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 


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