Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes

We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What did the skeleton order with his drink?
A. A mop.

Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.

Q. What is a mummy's favorite kind of music?
A. Rap!

Q. What do you do when you see a ghost?
A. Run away of course!

Q. Why can't Dracula play baseball?
A. He lost his bat.

Q. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne!

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
A. Pi.

Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.

Q. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A. "Spook when you're spooken to."

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. What does a ghost call his mom and dad?
A. His transparents.

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the store?
A. To get some spare ribs.

Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other.

Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?
A. Because he had no body to go with.

Q. Why doesn't a witch wear a flat hat?
A. Because there's no point in it!

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Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

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Jokes

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm? Alan: No, is he ok? Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 


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