Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes

We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Where is the zombie's favorite room in the house?
A. The living room.

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster.

Q. What do witches call for in a hotel room?
A. Broom service.

Q. Why don't skeletons play music in church?
A. They have no organs.

Q. What is a hotdog's favorite phrase?
A. Happy HalloWEINIE!

Q. What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?
A. A cab.

Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.

Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. SPOOKgetti!

Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A. Any old girl he can dig up.

Q. What do you read on Halloween?
A. BOO-ks

Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Q. Why did the ghost bring toilet paper to the party?
A. Because he was a party pooper.

Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!

Q. Who won the zombie war?
A. Nobody, it was dead even.

Q. Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game?
A. Because they couldn't find their bats.

Q. What do you call a pig dressed as Frankenstein?
A. FrankenSWINE.

Q. What is worse than being a three hundred pound witch?
A. Being her broom.

Q. What street does a vampire live on?
A. A dead end!

Q. Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A. A scare centre!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Jokes

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm? Alan: No, is he ok? Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 


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