Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes

We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D


Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. Did you hear about the skeleton and his girlfriend?
A. They broke up and he was shattered!

Q. What do you call two witches who share a broom?
A. Broom mates.

Q. Why couldn't the skeleton laugh?
A. Because he lost his funny bone.

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. What key opens a Haunted House?
A. A spooKEY!

Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other.

Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!

Q. What does Dracula say when he doesn't have good news?
A. "I have BAT news, everyone!"

Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.

Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!

Q. What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
A. Puffy!

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. What does a wolf say on Halloween?
A. "Happy HOWLoween!"

Q. What time is it when you see costumes, a house, candy and hear trick-or-treat?
A. Halloween!

Q. Why are ghosts always hungry?
A. Because the food goes right through them!

Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!


Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank who?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.



A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"

Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm? Alan: No, is he ok? Robert: Yes. He's all right now!

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