Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes

We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why was Dracula put in jail?
A. He tried to rob a blood bank.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?
A. Because he had no body to go with.

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. SPOOKgetti!

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. What room can't ghosts go in?
A. The LIVING room!

Q. What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
A. Puffy!

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. Who did Dracula take to the movies?
A. His GHOUL friend.

Q. What did the skeleton order with his drink?
A. A mop.

Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he had no guts.

Q. Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?
A. Frankenstein because Dracula sucks.

Q. What do ghosts wear on their feet?
A. BOOts.

Q. What does a wolf say on Halloween?
A. "Happy HOWLoween!"

Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!

Q. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
A. A plumpkin!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Jokes

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm? Alan: No, is he ok? Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 


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