Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes

We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. What do skeletons say at the front door?
A. "Crick or creak!"

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Q. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A. Because you can see right through him.

Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
A. Pi.

Q. When do vampires like horse racing?
A. When it's neck and neck!

Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
A. Shocking.

Q. Why did the ghost join the team?
A. They needed more spirit!

Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!

Q. Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?
A. He had no body to dance with!

Q. What do you call a pig dressed as Frankenstein?
A. FrankenSWINE.

Q. What room can't ghosts go in?
A. The LIVING room!

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A. To get a spare rib .

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?
A. A cab.

Q. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
A. A plumpkin!

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. Why did the mummy get a headache?
A. Because he was GOBLIN his candy!

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

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Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

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Jokes

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm? Alan: No, is he ok? Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 


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