Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes

We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster.

Q. What does Dracula say when he doesn't have good news?
A. "I have BAT news, everyone!"

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. Who did Dracula take to the movies?
A. His GHOUL friend.

Q. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A. A crummy mummy.

Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.

Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!

Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
A. Boo!

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. Why don't skeletons play music in church?
A. They have no organs.

Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.

Q. Why doesn't a witch wear a flat hat?
A. Because there's no point in it!

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. "You are my sunshine!"

Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.

Q. Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A. A scare centre!

Q. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
A. A plumpkin!

Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
A. Shocking.

Q. What did the vampire say to his wife?
A. "Your neck looks slimmer."

Q. What does a panda ghost eat?
A. Bam-BOO!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Jokes

Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm? Alan: No, is he ok? Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 


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