Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes

We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A. The trombone.

Q. Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A. A scare centre!

Q. What happens when a ghost haunts a theatre?
A. The actors get stage fright.

Q. Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
A. MaliBOO!

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. What street does a vampire live on?
A. A dead end!

Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
A. Shocking.

Q. Why did the mummy get a headache?
A. Because he was GOBLIN his candy!

Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Q. What is the problem with two twin witches?
A. You never know which witch is which!

Q. Why do people like vampires so much?
A. Because they are FANGtastic!

Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he had no guts.

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne!

Q. What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?
A. A cab.

Q. What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
A. A flying Band-Aid.

Q. Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?
A. To the living room!

Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Jokes

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm? Alan: No, is he ok? Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 


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