Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes

We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.

Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on?
A. Dead-ends.

Q. What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth cleaned?
A. The dentist.

Q. What do you call a pig dressed as Frankenstein?
A. FrankenSWINE.

Q. Who won the zombie war?
A. Nobody, it was dead even.

Q. What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
A. "Let's get glowing."

Q. Why couldn't the skeleton laugh?
A. Because he lost his funny bone.

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. What do ghosts wear on their feet?
A. BOOts.

Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away her W.

Q. What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?
A. A wide scream TV.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Q. Did you hear about the skeleton and his girlfriend?
A. They broke up and he was shattered!

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. Why didn't the mummy answer the phone?
A. He was all tied up!

Q. Why doesn't a witch wear a flat hat?
A. Because there's no point in it!

Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Jokes

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm? Alan: No, is he ok? Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 


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