Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes

We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
A. Puffy!

Q. Why don't skeletons fight?
A. Because they don't have the guts!

Q. What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
A. "Let's get glowing."

Q. What happens when a ghost haunts a theatre?
A. The actors get stage fright.

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!

Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!

Q. What room can't ghosts go in?
A. The LIVING room!

Q. What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?
A. A wide scream TV.

Q. What do you read on Halloween?
A. BOO-ks

Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!

Q. How do phantoms travel?
A. Ghost to ghost.

Q. Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game?
A. Because they couldn't find their bats.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. What did the witch say when she fell in the moat?
A. "My eels are killing me!"

Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Q. What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A. "I love BOO!"

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Jokes

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm? Alan: No, is he ok? Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 


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