Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes

We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Where did the mother monster put her child when she was at work?
A. At day-SCARE!

Q. Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?
A. He had no body to dance with!

Q. Where does a vampire keep his money?
A. In a blood bank.

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A. The trombone.

Q. Who won the zombie war?
A. Nobody, it was dead even.

Q. Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
A. MaliBOO!

Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!

Q. Why can't Dracula play baseball?
A. He lost his bat.

Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on?
A. Dead-ends.

Q. What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A. "I love BOO!"

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. What happens when a ghost haunts a theatre?
A. The actors get stage fright.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost and a goblin?
A. I don't know, but it doesn't sound good to me!

Q. Why was Dracula put in jail?
A. He tried to rob a blood bank.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne!

Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
A. Pi.

Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!

Q. What is a mummy's favorite kind of music?
A. Rap!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Jokes

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm? Alan: No, is he ok? Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 


To see more Halloween jokes, click the Refresh button, below.

 We also have jokes about…
Advertisement