Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes

We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?
A. Because he had no body to go with.

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A. To get a spare rib .

Q. Why did the ghost bring toilet paper to the party?
A. Because he was a party pooper.

Q. What room can't ghosts go in?
A. The LIVING room!

Q. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne!

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!

Q. What do you call two witches who share a broom?
A. Broom mates.

Q. What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?
A. A wide scream TV.

Q. Why can't Dracula play baseball?
A. He lost his bat.

Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!

Q. When do vampires like horse racing?
A. When it's neck and neck!

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. What key opens a Haunted House?
A. A spooKEY!

Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. Why did Dracula go to the library?
A. He wanted a good book to sink his teeth into!

Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Jokes

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm? Alan: No, is he ok? Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 


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