We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D
Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.
Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!
Q. What is a mummy's favorite kind of music?
Q. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A. A pumpkin patch.
Q. When do vampires like horse racing?
A. When it's neck and neck!
Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!
Q. What does a wolf say on Halloween?
A. "Happy HOWLoween!"
Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!
Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
Q. What did one casket say to the other casket?
A. "Is that you coffin?" (coughing)
Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.
Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster.
Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.
Q. What pants do ghosts wear?
A. BOO jeans.
Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A. Any old girl he can dig up.
Q. Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?
A. Frankenstein because Dracula sucks.
Q. What do witches call for in a hotel room?
A. Broom service.
Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!
Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!
Didn't mean to scare you!
Ivana suck your blood.
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.
Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm? Alan: No, is he ok? Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
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