Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes

We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. You are dreaming. A monster comes up to you and takes you away. He puts you in an oven and turns it on. Any moment he will be eating you. What should you do?
A. Pinch yourself.

Q. What does a wolf say on Halloween?
A. "Happy HOWLoween!"

Q. What do you read on Halloween?
A. BOO-ks

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!

Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
A. Shocking.

Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
A. Pi.

Q. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?
A. Dead ringers.

Q. Where did the ghost go on vacation?
A. The BOO-hamas!

Q. Why don't skeletons play music in church?
A. They have no organs.

Q. What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?
A. Lazy bones!

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!

Q. What did the ghost say when it sneezed?
A. "Ahh BOO!"

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.

Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. Why did the mummy get a headache?
A. Because he was GOBLIN his candy!

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

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Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

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Jokes

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm? Alan: No, is he ok? Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 


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