Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes

We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Who did Dracula take to the movies?
A. His GHOUL friend.

Q. What do skeletons say at the front door?
A. "Crick or creak!"

Q. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A. A pumpkin patch.

Q. What do you call a nervous witch?
A. A twitch.

Q. Where is the zombie's favorite room in the house?
A. The living room.

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the store?
A. To get some spare ribs.

Q. What key opens a Haunted House?
A. A spooKEY!

Q. What is a mummy's favorite kind of music?
A. Rap!

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.

Q. What do ghosts wear on their feet?
A. BOOts.

Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on?
A. Dead-ends.

Q. Why did the mummy get a headache?
A. Because he was GOBLIN his candy!

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A. A scare centre!

Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.

Q. What did the ghost say when it sneezed?
A. "Ahh BOO!"

Q. What does Dracula say when he doesn't have good news?
A. "I have BAT news, everyone!"

Q. What did the vampire bring to the baseball field?
A. His bats!

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Jokes

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm? Alan: No, is he ok? Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 


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