Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes

We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.

Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster.

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
A. Shocking.

Q. You are dreaming. A monster comes up to you and takes you away. He puts you in an oven and turns it on. Any moment he will be eating you. What should you do?
A. Pinch yourself.

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the store?
A. To get some spare ribs.

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. Did you hear about the skeleton and his girlfriend?
A. They broke up and he was shattered!

Q. Who did Dracula take to the movies?
A. His GHOUL friend.

Q. What is the problem with two twin witches?
A. You never know which witch is which!

Q. Where do ghosts get their mail?
A. At the ghost office.

Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on?
A. Dead-ends.

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite drink?
A. Milk, it's white and good for your bones.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Jokes

Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm? Alan: No, is he ok? Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 


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