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Halloween Jokes

We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away her W.

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.

Q. Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?
A. Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!

Q. Where do ghosts get their mail?
A. At the ghost office.

Q. What did the skeleton order with his drink?
A. A mop.

Q. What is a hotdog's favorite phrase?
A. Happy HalloWEINIE!

Q. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A. "Spook when you're spooken to."

Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
A. Pi.

Q. What is the problem with two twin witches?
A. You never know which witch is which!

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What do you call two witches that live together?
A. Broom mates.

Q. Why don't skeletons play music in church?
A. They have no organs.

Q. What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
A. A flying Band-Aid.

Q. What did the vampire bring to the baseball field?
A. His bats!

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he had no guts.

Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Jokes

Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm? Alan: No, is he ok? Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 


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