Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes

We've got lots of funny Halloween jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!

Q. Why couldn't the skeleton laugh?
A. Because he lost his funny bone.

Q. Why did the mummy get a headache?
A. Because he was GOBLIN his candy!

Q. Why are ghosts always hungry?
A. Because the food goes right through them!

Q. What happens when a ghost haunts a theatre?
A. The actors get stage fright.

Q. Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?
A. Frankenstein because Dracula sucks.

Q. What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
A. A flying Band-Aid.

Q. What do you call two witches that live together?
A. Broom mates.

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. Where did the ghosts go for vacation?
A. Mali-BOO.

Q. Why don't skeletons fight?
A. Because they don't have the guts!

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. What did the ghost say when it sneezed?
A. "Ahh BOO!"

Q. What does a bird say on Halloween?
A. Twick or tweet!

Q. What did the vampire say to his wife?
A. "Your neck looks slimmer."

Q. Where do ghosts get their mail?
A. At the ghost office.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Jokes

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold: What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm? Alan: No, is he ok? Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 


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