Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. What did the policeman have on his sandwich?
A. Some traffic jam!

Q. What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A. Ban-ana-na!

Q. Why did the Smartie go to school?
A. Because he wanted to be smarter.

Q. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a centipede?
A. Drumsticks for everyone!

Q. Why did the boy scream when he opened the fridge?
A. Because he saw the salad dressing.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. Why did the mushroom have so many friends?
A. Because he was a fungi!

Q. What do you call a train full of toffee?
A. A chew-chew train!

Q. What do cows like to put on their sandwiches?
A. MOOstard!

Q. What did the happy slice of cheese say to the sad slice of cheese?
A. "Aw, it will be okay! Everything is GOUDA!"

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. What is green, small and round and goes up and down?
A. A pea in a lift.

Q. Take off my skin. I won't cry but you will. What am I?
A. An onion.

Q. What vegetable has eyes but can't see?
A. A potato.

Q. What has ears but can't hear?
A. A corn field!

Q. What's yellow and goes 50 miles per hour?
A. A banana in a washing machine.

Q. What jam can't you eat?
A. A traffic jam.

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

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Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ice Cream
Ice Cream who?
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Soup
Soup who?
Superman!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lemon
Lemon who?
Lemon know when you want me to say apple again.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana!

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Jokes

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Me: I have a pizza joke! Friend: What is it? Me: Never mind! It's too cheesy!
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach. Kelly: You mean she is really nice? Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 

Customer: There is a fly in my soup. Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

Mum: Eat your roast chicken, it's got iron it! Jack: No wonder it is tough!
 

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?" The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."
 

Bob: Why don't you wanna TACO 'bout it? Josie: 'Cause I'm NACHO friend anymore!
 

Whenever I want to start eating healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup." The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 


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