Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D


Q. What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A. I don't know, a Hershey BAAH?!

Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.

Q. What did the bread say to the man?
A. Nothing, bread can't talk.

Q. What did the running ketchup said to the walking ketchup?
A. "Catch up!"

Q. There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?
A. A watermelon!

Q. Take off my skin. I won't cry but you will. What am I?
A. An onion.

Q. What do race car driver's eat?
A. Fast food!

Q. How did the frozen chicken cross the road?
A. In a shopping bag.

Q. What kind of fish goes great with peanut butter?
A. Jellyfish.

Q. What do you call a train full of toffee?
A. A chew-chew train!

Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!

Q. Where did the hamburgers go?
A. To the Meat Ball!

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. What do snobby vegetables do when they see people?
A. They turnip (turn up) their noses?

Q. What did the Malteeser want to be when it grew up?
A. A Smartie.

Q. Why do people by aggressive fruit?
A. So they can make fruit punch!

Q. Why did the hamburger go to the gym?
A. It wanted better buns.

Q. What do you call a train full of bubble gum?
A. A chew-chew train.

Q. What kind of bagel can fly?
A. A plain bagel.

Q. How do you get fat free milk?
A. From a skinny cow!


Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer peanuts!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
John who?
Johnny Apple Seed!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana who?
Banana split!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wiener. who?
Wiener you going to get here?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange who?
Orange you glad I like you.



Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?

Two cookies are baking in an oven. One cookie says to the other, "Man, is it me, or is it getting kinda hot in here?" The other cookie replies, "Oh my goodness! A talking cookie!!"

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?" The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup." The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"

There was once a cookie saying, "I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie." A lady came along and told him to be quiet. She poked him in the middle. Then the cookie looked at his stomach and said, "I'm a donut, I'm a donut, I'm a donut."

Bob: Why don't you wanna TACO 'bout it? Josie: 'Cause I'm NACHO friend anymore!

Once an old man and woman went to a restaurant and ordered two sandwiches. The waiter brought the sandwiches and the old man started to eat but the women was only staring at the food. The waiter noticed this and went to see what the problem was. The old woman said nothing and just stared at him but the old man interrupted and said, "The sandwich is delicious, but she can't eat because I am using her teeth."

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