Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D


Q. What did the fish say to the chip?
A. "We were made for each other."

Q. What jam can't you eat?
A. A traffic jam.

Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!

Q. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
A. "Where's popcorn?!"

Q. What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A. Ban-ana-na!

Q. What do you call two bananas?
A. A pair of slippers!

Q. What did the pitcher say when eggs, bacon and pancakes were playing baseball?
A. "Butter up."

Q. What has ears but can't hear?
A. A corn field!

Q. Why did the boy scream when he opened the fridge?
A. Because he saw the salad dressing.

Q. There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?
A. A watermelon!

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. Why are ghosts always hungry?
A. Because the food goes right through them!

Q. What is a cow's favorite ice cream?
A. MOOnila!

Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!

Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.

Q. What did the baker give his wife for their anniversary?
A. Flour.

Q. Why did the rancher name his ranch "Peanut Butter"?
A. It was a great spread.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wiener. who?
Wiener you going to get here?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer peanuts!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cheese who?
Cheese a cute girl!


My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach. Kelly: You mean she is really nice? Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.

Me: I have a pizza joke! Friend: What is it? Me: Never mind! It's too cheesy!

Once an old man and woman went to a restaurant and ordered two sandwiches. The waiter brought the sandwiches and the old man started to eat but the women was only staring at the food. The waiter noticed this and went to see what the problem was. The old woman said nothing and just stared at him but the old man interrupted and said, "The sandwich is delicious, but she can't eat because I am using her teeth."

Two cookies are baking in an oven. One cookie says to the other, "Man, is it me, or is it getting kinda hot in here?" The other cookie replies, "Oh my goodness! A talking cookie!!"

Mum: Eat your roast chicken, it's got iron it! Jack: No wonder it is tough!

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?" The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup." The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."

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