Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. What did the bread say to the man?
A. Nothing, bread can't talk.

Q. Why did the bacon laugh?
A. Because the egg cracked a yoke.

Q. Why did the hamburger go to the gym?
A. It wanted better buns.

Q. How did the frozen chicken cross the road?
A. In a shopping bag.

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. When was meat so high?
A. When the cow jumped over the moon!

Q. Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A. Better not tell you, it might spread!

Q. What is red when you go and green when you stop?
A. A watermelon.

Q. What do you call a train full of toffee?
A. A chew-chew train!

Q. What did the bad chicken lay?
A. A deviled egg.

Q. How do you get fat free milk?
A. From a skinny cow!

Q. Why did the mushroom have so many friends?
A. Because he was a fungi!

Q. Where do you learn to make ice cream?
A. At Sundae School!

Q. What is a cow's favorite ice cream?
A. MOOnila!

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-AID!

Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. What did the baker give his wife for their anniversary?
A. Flour.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cash
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer peanuts!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ice Cream
Ice Cream who?
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lemon
Lemon who?
Lemon know when you want me to say apple again.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
John
John who?
Johnny Apple Seed!

Jokes

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach. Kelly: You mean she is really nice? Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

There was once a cookie saying, "I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie." A lady came along and told him to be quiet. She poked him in the middle. Then the cookie looked at his stomach and said, "I'm a donut, I'm a donut, I'm a donut."
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup." The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 

Bob: Why don't you wanna TACO 'bout it? Josie: 'Cause I'm NACHO friend anymore!
 

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?" The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."
 


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