Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What does a hamburger name his daughter?
A. Patty.

Q. Why did the hamburger go to the gym?
A. It wanted better buns.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. Why did the baker stop making doughnuts?
A. He was annoyed with the HOLE business.

Q. What did the Easter Bunny say to the carrot?
A. "It's been nice gnawing you!"

Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. Pork Chop!

Q. What did the policeman have on his sandwich?
A. Some traffic jam!

Q. What is long, green and slowly turning red?
A. A cucumber holding its breath!

Q. A tomato, a cabbage and a hose were in a race. The tomato was red and the cabbage was a vegetable. Who won?
A. The hose was running, the cabbage was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

Q. Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
A. Because they put on the salsa.

Q. What vegetables can't you take on a boat?
A. Leeks!

Q. What did the frog order at the burger place?
A. French flies and a diet croak.

Q. Why are cooks cruel?
A. Because they whip cream and beat eggs!!

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.

Q. Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A. Better not tell you, it might spread!

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!

Q. What is a table you can eat?
A. A vegetable.

Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ramon
Ramon who?
Ramon noodle soup.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lemon
Lemon who?
Lemon know when you want me to say apple again.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Soup
Soup who?
Superman!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ketchup
Ketchup who?
Ketchup and I'll tell you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Jokes

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?" The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup." The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

Whenever I want to start eating healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
 

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 

Mum: Eat your roast chicken, it's got iron it! Jack: No wonder it is tough!
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach. Kelly: You mean she is really nice? Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

Bob: Why don't you wanna TACO 'bout it? Josie: 'Cause I'm NACHO friend anymore!
 

Me: I have a pizza joke! Friend: What is it? Me: Never mind! It's too cheesy!
 


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