Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!

Q. What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards?
A. "Dill me in!"

Q. What does the Invisible Man drink at snack time?
A. Evaporated milk.

Q. Why did the tomato blush?
A. Because it saw the salad dressing!

Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. Because KFC was on the other side.

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.

Q. A tomato, a cabbage and a hose were in a race. The tomato was red and the cabbage was a vegetable. Who won?
A. The hose was running, the cabbage was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

Q. Where did the hamburgers go?
A. To the Meat Ball!

Q. Did you hear what happened down at the fish shop?
A. The fish got battered!

Q. How do you hunt for elephants?
A. Hide in a bush and make a noise like a peanut.

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. What kind of doctor never works but is very popular around the world?
A. Dr. Pepper (the soda).

Q. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
A. "Where's popcorn?!"

Q. When was meat so high?
A. When the cow jumped over the moon!

Q. Why was the bread dough sad?
A. It wanted to be kneaded by someone.

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. What did Sergeant Peanut Butter shout to his jelly police officers?
A. "Spread out, men!"

Q. What do you call a pig that gets fired from his job?
A. Canned ham!

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Berry
Berry who?
Berry nice too meet you can. Can I come in now?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wiener.
Wiener. who?
Wiener you going to get here?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Soup
Soup who?
Superman!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ice Cream
Ice Cream who?
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Jokes

Whenever I want to start eating healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
 

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 

Mum: Eat your roast chicken, it's got iron it! Jack: No wonder it is tough!
 

Customer: There is a fly in my soup. Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 

Bob: Why don't you wanna TACO 'bout it? Josie: 'Cause I'm NACHO friend anymore!
 

There was once a cookie saying, "I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie." A lady came along and told him to be quiet. She poked him in the middle. Then the cookie looked at his stomach and said, "I'm a donut, I'm a donut, I'm a donut."
 

Once an old man and woman went to a restaurant and ordered two sandwiches. The waiter brought the sandwiches and the old man started to eat but the women was only staring at the food. The waiter noticed this and went to see what the problem was. The old woman said nothing and just stared at him but the old man interrupted and said, "The sandwich is delicious, but she can't eat because I am using her teeth."
 

Two cookies are baking in an oven. One cookie says to the other, "Man, is it me, or is it getting kinda hot in here?" The other cookie replies, "Oh my goodness! A talking cookie!!"
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 


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