Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the baker go to jail?
A. Because he got caught beating the eggs.

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A. I don't know, a Hershey BAAH?!

Q. What did the pitcher say when eggs, bacon and pancakes were playing baseball?
A. "Butter up."

Q. Take off my skin. I won't cry but you will. What am I?
A. An onion.

Q. Why do rabbits eat carrots?
A. Because they don't want to be nearsighted!

Q. Why were the apple and orange alone?
A. Because the banana split!

Q. What's yellow and goes 50 miles per hour?
A. A banana in a washing machine.

Q. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a centipede?
A. Drumsticks for everyone!

Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.

Q. What can't you eat at dinner?
A. Breakfast and lunch!

Q. What did the policeman have on his sandwich?
A. Some traffic jam!

Q. What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A. Ban-ana-na!

Q. How do you hunt for elephants?
A. Hide in a bush and make a noise like a peanut.

Q. What do you call a train full of bubble gum?
A. A chew-chew train.

Q. What has to be broken before you can use it?
A. An egg.

Q. How do you get fat free milk?
A. From a skinny cow!

Q. What did the running ketchup said to the walking ketchup?
A. "Catch up!"

Q. What has ears but can't hear?
A. A corn field!

Q. What does the baby popcorn call his dad?
A. Pop!

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Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ramon
Ramon who?
Ramon noodle soup.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Apple
Apple who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lemon
Lemon who?
Lemon know when you want me to say apple again.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I like you.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wiener.
Wiener. who?
Wiener you going to get here?

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Jokes

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?" The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."
 

Customer: There is a fly in my soup. Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
 

There was once a cookie saying, "I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie." A lady came along and told him to be quiet. She poked him in the middle. Then the cookie looked at his stomach and said, "I'm a donut, I'm a donut, I'm a donut."
 

Whenever I want to start eating healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
 

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 

Mum: Eat your roast chicken, it's got iron it! Jack: No wonder it is tough!
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup." The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach. Kelly: You mean she is really nice? Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 


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