Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the baker stop making doughnuts?
A. He was annoyed with the HOLE business.

Q. What kind of doctor never works but is very popular around the world?
A. Dr. Pepper (the soda).

Q. Have you heard the joke about the pizza?
A. Never mind, it's too cheesy!

Q. What is Santa's favorite snack?
A. Ho, hos!

Q. Did you hear what happened down at the fish shop?
A. The fish got battered!

Q. What kind of bagel can fly?
A. A plain bagel.

Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A. Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?!

Q. What did the bread say to the man?
A. Nothing, bread can't talk.

Q. What do you call a train full of toffee?
A. A chew-chew train!

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. What does an orange do when it takes a test?
A. It concentrates!

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. What did the policeman have on his sandwich?
A. Some traffic jam!

Q. How do you make a milk shake?
A. Give it a good scare!

Q. What does the baby popcorn call his dad?
A. Pop!

Q. What did the jelly say to the peanut butter?
A. "We make a good match!"

Q. How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?
A. Grapes are purple.

Q. Where do you learn to make ice cream?
A. At Sundae School!

Q. What did the bread say to the knife?
A. "Don't try to butter me up."

Q. Why did the cow eat the tight rope walker?
A. Because he wanted a balanced meal!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Soup
Soup who?
Superman!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ramon
Ramon who?
Ramon noodle soup.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cash
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer peanuts!

Jokes

Customer: There is a fly in my soup. Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?" The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."
 

Once an old man and woman went to a restaurant and ordered two sandwiches. The waiter brought the sandwiches and the old man started to eat but the women was only staring at the food. The waiter noticed this and went to see what the problem was. The old woman said nothing and just stared at him but the old man interrupted and said, "The sandwich is delicious, but she can't eat because I am using her teeth."
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach. Kelly: You mean she is really nice? Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Whenever I want to start eating healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup." The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 


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