Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. What does the Invisible Man drink at snack time?
A. Evaporated milk.

Q. Where did the hamburgers go?
A. To the Meat Ball!

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. What did the bread say to the knife?
A. "Don't try to butter me up."

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. What is long, green and slowly turning red?
A. A cucumber holding its breath!

Q. What did the policeman have on his sandwich?
A. Some traffic jam!

Q. Why did the mushroom have so many friends?
A. Because he was a fungi!

Q. What kind of murderer has fibre?
A. A cereal killer.

Q. Why did the bread cross the road?
A. To BUTTER the other side!

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. How did Burger King propose to his girlfriend?
A. With an onion ring.

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. Where does the Easter bunny eat breakfast?
A. IHOP.

Q. What did the Malteeser want to be when it grew up?
A. A Smartie.

Q. What jam can't you eat?
A. A traffic jam.

Q. Why are cooks cruel?
A. Because they whip cream and beat eggs!!

Q. Why did the chicken join the band?
A. Because he had the drumsticks!

Q. Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?
A. Because it might crack up!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Berry
Berry who?
Berry nice too meet you can. Can I come in now?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ice Cream
Ice Cream who?
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I like you.

Jokes

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?" The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."
 

Two cookies are baking in an oven. One cookie says to the other, "Man, is it me, or is it getting kinda hot in here?" The other cookie replies, "Oh my goodness! A talking cookie!!"
 

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 

Me: I have a pizza joke! Friend: What is it? Me: Never mind! It's too cheesy!
 

Bob: Why don't you wanna TACO 'bout it? Josie: 'Cause I'm NACHO friend anymore!
 

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup." The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 


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