Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. How did Burger King propose to his girlfriend?
A. With an onion ring.

Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!

Q. What do race car driver's eat?
A. Fast food!

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. Why did the chicken join the band?
A. Because he had the drumsticks!

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. What kind of fish goes great with peanut butter?
A. Jellyfish.

Q. What do you call a potato that was crushed?
A. Squash.

Q. What did the cake say to the fork?
A. "You want a piece of me?"

Q. How do you make a milk shake?
A. Give it a good scare!

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. Why didn't the police catch the banana?
A. Because it split!

Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-AID!

Q. Why did the orange get stuck up the on the mountain?
A. Because he ran out of juice.

Q. What did the bread say to the man?
A. Nothing, bread can't talk.

Q. What is long, green and slowly turning red?
A. A cucumber holding its breath!

Q. What's yellow and goes 50 miles per hour?
A. A banana in a washing machine.

Q. Why did the hamburger go to the gym?
A. It wanted better buns.

Q. What do you get when a pig and a chicken bump into each other?
A. Ham and eggs!

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow with a smurf?
A. Blue cheese!

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Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cereal
Cereal who?
Cereal pleasure to meet you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Felix
Felix who?
Felix my lolly, I'll whack him.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Nacho
Nacho who?
I'm nacho momma!

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Jokes

Whenever I want to start eating healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup." The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 

There was once a cookie saying, "I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie." A lady came along and told him to be quiet. She poked him in the middle. Then the cookie looked at his stomach and said, "I'm a donut, I'm a donut, I'm a donut."
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?" The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here." The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Two cookies are baking in an oven. One cookie says to the other, "Man, is it me, or is it getting kinda hot in here?" The other cookie replies, "Oh my goodness! A talking cookie!!"
 

Once an old man and woman went to a restaurant and ordered two sandwiches. The waiter brought the sandwiches and the old man started to eat but the women was only staring at the food. The waiter noticed this and went to see what the problem was. The old woman said nothing and just stared at him but the old man interrupted and said, "The sandwich is delicious, but she can't eat because I am using her teeth."
 


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