Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Food Jokes

We've got lots of funny Food jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you call two bananas?
A. A pair of slippers!

Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!

Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. Because KFC was on the other side.

Q. Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A. Better not tell you, it might spread!

Q. A tomato, a cabbage and a hose were in a race. The tomato was red and the cabbage was a vegetable. Who won?
A. The hose was running, the cabbage was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

Q. What kind of fish goes great with peanut butter?
A. Jellyfish.

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. Why are cooks cruel?
A. Because they whip cream and beat eggs!!

Q. Paul is six feet tall. He is an assistant in a butcher shop. He wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh?
A. Meat.

Q. What did the pitcher say when eggs, bacon and pancakes were playing baseball?
A. "Butter up."

Q. What has to be broken before you can use it?
A. An egg.

Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.

Q. How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?
A. Grapes are purple.

Q. What did the Easter Bunny say to the carrot?
A. "It's been nice gnawing you!"

Q. What can't you eat at dinner?
A. Breakfast and lunch!

Q. What did the bad chicken lay?
A. A deviled egg.

Q. What vegetable has eyes but can't see?
A. A potato.

Q. Why did the hamburger go to the gym?
A. It wanted better buns.

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. What kind of bagel can fly?
A. A plain bagel.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Felix
Felix who?
Felix my lolly, I'll whack him.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Nacho
Nacho who?
I'm nacho momma!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cash
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer peanuts!

Jokes

My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta!
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach. Kelly: You mean she is really nice? Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

A lady came to a shop and got 14 scoops of ice cream with nuts. The man behind the counter asked, "Do you want a cherry with that?" The lady replied, "No, I'm on a diet."
 

There was once a cookie saying, "I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie, I'm a cookie." A lady came along and told him to be quiet. She poked him in the middle. Then the cookie looked at his stomach and said, "I'm a donut, I'm a donut, I'm a donut."
 

A man went to a restaurant and ordered soup. When the waitress came to give the soup to the man, he said, "Excuse me, I saw your thumb in my soup." The waitress said, "Oh, it's okay. It wasn't hot."
 

Once an old man and woman went to a restaurant and ordered two sandwiches. The waiter brought the sandwiches and the old man started to eat but the women was only staring at the food. The waiter noticed this and went to see what the problem was. The old woman said nothing and just stared at him but the old man interrupted and said, "The sandwich is delicious, but she can't eat because I am using her teeth."
 

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 

Bob: Why don't you wanna TACO 'bout it? Josie: 'Cause I'm NACHO friend anymore!
 

A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says, "You look like a fungi!"
 

Whenever I want to start eating healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
 


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