Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Dog Jokes

We've got lots of funny Dog jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why shouldn't you go outside if it's raining cats and dogs?
A. Because you might step in a poodle!

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. What do you call a dog who always knows the time?
A. A watchdog!

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. What do you call a dog who wins a race?
A. A weiner.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. Where won't you find a dog shopping?
A. At the flea market!

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. What do you get if you cross a dino and a dog?
A. A dog a sore!

Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!

Q. Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
A. Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.

Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.

Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. Because he was chasing the chicken.

Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
A. Achoowawa!

Q. What do dogs eat for breakfast?
A. POOCHed eggs and BARKen.

Q. How did the dog get splinters in his tongue?
A. He ate table scraps.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A. A rocker spaniel.

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cookie
Cookie who?
Give the pup a cookie!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
How
How who?
How will we get away from that mean dog?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Puppy
Puppy who?
Puppy love!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me baby!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Jokes

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

Bob: I lost my dog today. Bill: So put an ad in the paper. Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me." The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese." The poodle replied, "How childish" The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese." "You're hopeless," said the poodle. The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?" The guy replied,"No." The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled. "That's not my dog," he yelled!
 


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