Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Dog Jokes

We've got lots of funny Dog jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.

Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.

Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.

Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.

Q. Why are skeletons afraid of dogs?
A. Because dogs love bones!

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. How did the dog get splinters in his tongue?
A. He ate table scraps.

Q. Where won't you find a dog shopping?
A. At the flea market!

Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.

Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A. A rocker spaniel.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me baby!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cookie
Cookie who?
Give the pup a cookie!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me, honey!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ken
Ken who?
Ken you walk the dog for me?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Puppy
Puppy who?
Puppy love!

Jokes

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me." The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese." The poodle replied, "How childish" The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese." "You're hopeless," said the poodle. The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?" The guy replied,"No." The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled. "That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

Bob: I lost my dog today. Bill: So put an ad in the paper. Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 


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