Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Dog Jokes

We've got lots of funny Dog jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. Why are skeletons afraid of dogs?
A. Because dogs love bones!

Q. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A. A rocker spaniel.

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. What do you get if you cross a dino and a dog?
A. A dog a sore!

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog and a rose?
A. A collie-flower!

Q. Why shouldn't you go outside if it's raining cats and dogs?
A. Because you might step in a poodle!

Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
A. Achoowawa!

Q. What do you call a dog who wins a race?
A. A weiner.

Q. What do you call a dog who always knows the time?
A. A watchdog!

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. Because he was chasing the chicken.

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. What dog can jump higher than a building?
A. Any dog because buildings can't jump.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me baby!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Puppy
Puppy who?
Puppy love!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dash
Dash who?
Daschund!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me, honey!

Jokes

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me." The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese." The poodle replied, "How childish" The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese." "You're hopeless," said the poodle. The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

Bob: I lost my dog today. Bill: So put an ad in the paper. Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?" The guy replied,"No." The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled. "That's not my dog," he yelled!
 


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