Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Dog Jokes

We've got lots of funny Dog jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog and a rose?
A. A collie-flower!

Q. What dog can jump higher than a building?
A. Any dog because buildings can't jump.

Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A. A rocker spaniel.

Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.

Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
A. Achoowawa!

Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.

Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.

Q. Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
A. Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. What do dogs eat for breakfast?
A. POOCHed eggs and BARKen.

Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. Because he was chasing the chicken.

Q. What do you call a dog who always knows the time?
A. A watchdog!

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. Why shouldn't you go outside if it's raining cats and dogs?
A. Because you might step in a poodle!

Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dash
Dash who?
Daschund!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Bow
Bow who?
Not bow who, bow wow!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ken
Ken who?
Ken you walk the dog for me?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me, honey!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Jokes

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?" The guy replied,"No." The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled. "That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

Bob: I lost my dog today. Bill: So put an ad in the paper. Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me." The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese." The poodle replied, "How childish" The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese." "You're hopeless," said the poodle. The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 


To see more Dog jokes, click the Refresh button, below.

 We also have jokes about…