Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Dog Jokes

We've got lots of funny Dog jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. If H20 is inside of the fire hydrant, what's on the outside?
A. K9P.

Q. What dog can jump higher than a building?
A. Any dog because buildings can't jump.

Q. Why was the dog sitting next to the fire?
A. He was a hotdog!

Q. Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
A. Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.

Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
A. Achoowawa!

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog and a rose?
A. A collie-flower!

Q. Why shouldn't you go outside if it's raining cats and dogs?
A. Because you might step in a poodle!

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. Why did the dog get a pedicure?
A. Because his feet were RUFF!

Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.

Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.

Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Q. Where won't you find a dog shopping?
A. At the flea market!

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. How did the dog get splinters in his tongue?
A. He ate table scraps.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cookie
Cookie who?
Give the pup a cookie!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
How
How who?
How will we get away from that mean dog?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me baby!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me, honey!

Jokes

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me." The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese." The poodle replied, "How childish" The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese." "You're hopeless," said the poodle. The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?" The guy replied,"No." The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled. "That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

Bob: I lost my dog today. Bill: So put an ad in the paper. Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 


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