Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Dog Jokes

We've got lots of funny Dog jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. What do you call a dog who wins a race?
A. A weiner.

Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!

Q. Why did the dog get a pedicure?
A. Because his feet were RUFF!

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.

Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Q. Why are skeletons afraid of dogs?
A. Because dogs love bones!

Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.

Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.

Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.

Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
A. Achoowawa!

Q. What do you call a dog who always knows the time?
A. A watchdog!

Q. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A. A rocker spaniel.

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. Where won't you find a dog shopping?
A. At the flea market!

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Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Puppy
Puppy who?
Puppy love!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me baby!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me, honey!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Bow
Bow who?
Not bow who, bow wow!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ken
Ken who?
Ken you walk the dog for me?

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Jokes

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?" The guy replied,"No." The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled. "That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

Bob: I lost my dog today. Bill: So put an ad in the paper. Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me." The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese." The poodle replied, "How childish" The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese." "You're hopeless," said the poodle. The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 


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