Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Dog Jokes

We've got lots of funny Dog jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
A. Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.

Q. Why was the dog sitting next to the fire?
A. He was a hotdog!

Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Q. If H20 is inside of the fire hydrant, what's on the outside?
A. K9P.

Q. Why did the dog get a pedicure?
A. Because his feet were RUFF!

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog and a rose?
A. A collie-flower!

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. What do you call a dog who wins a race?
A. A weiner.

Q. What do you call a dog who always knows the time?
A. A watchdog!

Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.

Q. Why did the dog cross the road?
A. Because he was chasing the chicken.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. Why are skeletons afraid of dogs?
A. Because dogs love bones!

Q. How did the dog get splinters in his tongue?
A. He ate table scraps.

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ken
Ken who?
Ken you walk the dog for me?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me baby!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cookie
Cookie who?
Give the pup a cookie!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dash
Dash who?
Daschund!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Bow
Bow who?
Not bow who, bow wow!

Jokes

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?" The guy replied,"No." The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled. "That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

Bob: I lost my dog today. Bill: So put an ad in the paper. Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me." The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese." The poodle replied, "How childish" The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese." "You're hopeless," said the poodle. The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 


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