Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Dog Jokes

We've got lots of funny Dog jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog and a rose?
A. A collie-flower!

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. Where won't you find a dog shopping?
A. At the flea market!

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.

Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.

Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.

Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.

Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. What dog can jump higher than a building?
A. Any dog because buildings can't jump.

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. If H20 is inside of the fire hydrant, what's on the outside?
A. K9P.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. Why are skeletons afraid of dogs?
A. Because dogs love bones!

Q. Why was the dog sitting next to the fire?
A. He was a hotdog!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dash
Dash who?
Daschund!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
How
How who?
How will we get away from that mean dog?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Bow
Bow who?
Not bow who, bow wow!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me baby!

Jokes

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?" The guy replied,"No." The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled. "That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me." The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese." The poodle replied, "How childish" The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese." "You're hopeless," said the poodle. The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

Bob: I lost my dog today. Bill: So put an ad in the paper. Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 


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