Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Dog Jokes

We've got lots of funny Dog jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.

Q. Why did the dog get a pedicure?
A. Because his feet were RUFF!

Q. What do you call a dog who wins a race?
A. A weiner.

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A. A rocker spaniel.

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. What do dogs eat for breakfast?
A. POOCHed eggs and BARKen.

Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. What dog can jump higher than a building?
A. Any dog because buildings can't jump.

Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.

Q. If a very small fish married a young dog, what would their baby be called?
A. A guppy puppy.

Q. Where is the best place to leave a dog when you go to a ball game?
A. In the barking lot.

Q. What do you call a dog who always knows the time?
A. A watchdog!

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. Where won't you find a dog shopping?
A. At the flea market!

Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
A. Achoowawa!

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

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Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me baby!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ken
Ken who?
Ken you walk the dog for me?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dash
Dash who?
Daschund!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Bow
Bow who?
Not bow who, bow wow!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Puppy
Puppy who?
Puppy love!

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Jokes

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?" The guy replied,"No." The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled. "That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

Bob: I lost my dog today. Bill: So put an ad in the paper. Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me." The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese." The poodle replied, "How childish" The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese." "You're hopeless," said the poodle. The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 


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