Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Dog Jokes

We've got lots of funny Dog jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
A. Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
A. Achoowawa!

Q. Why did the dog get a pedicure?
A. Because his feet were RUFF!

Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. What do dogs eat for breakfast?
A. POOCHed eggs and BARKen.

Q. What do you call a dog who always knows the time?
A. A watchdog!

Q. Where won't you find a dog shopping?
A. At the flea market!

Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.

Q. Why did the hot dog wear a sweater?
A. Because it was a chili dog!

Q. What kind of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?
A. Any dog, skyscrapers can't jump.

Q. Why was the dog sitting next to the fire?
A. He was a hotdog!

Q. What do you get if you cross a dino and a dog?
A. A dog a sore!

Q. What do you call a dog who wins a race?
A. A weiner.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. Why shouldn't you go outside if it's raining cats and dogs?
A. Because you might step in a poodle!

Q. What do you get when you cross a hammock and a dog?
A. A rocker spaniel.

Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Puppy
Puppy who?
Puppy love!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ken
Ken who?
Ken you walk the dog for me?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Bow
Bow who?
Not bow who, bow wow!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
How
How who?
How will we get away from that mean dog?

Jokes

Bob: I lost my dog today. Bill: So put an ad in the paper. Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?" The guy replied,"No." The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled. "That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

There were three male dogs, a Golden Retriever, a Lab, and Chihuahua, walking down the street. On their walk, they met a beautiful French Poodle. They all ran up to the poodle. The poodle says to the three dogs, "Since you all want to marry me, whoever can say liver and cheese in a complete sentence will get to marry me." The Golden Retriever says, "I love liver and cheese." The poodle replied, "How childish" The Lab says, "I hate liver and cheese." "You're hopeless," said the poodle. The Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 


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