Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Doctor Jokes

We've got lots of funny Doctor jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Jokes

An airplane was falling from the sky. Four were aboard, a doctor, a vet, the pilot, and a man who thought he was the smartest person in the world. There were only three parachutes. Doctor: I'm a doctor, so I should jump down first. So he took a parachute and jumped off the plane. The smartest person in the world: Well, I'm the smartest man in the world so I should jump off next. So he took a bag and jumped off. There were two people left. Pilot: How will we decide who jumps off next? Vet: We don't have to, the smartest man in the world just jumped off with my backpack.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I'm going to die in 59 seconds! Doctor: Hang on, I'll be there in a minute.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor! Last night I had a dream I ate a giant marshmallow! Doctor: That's nice, so what's the problem? Patient: Well, when I woke up my pillow was gone!
 

A man said to his doctor, "I can't stop telling lies." The doctor replied, "I don't believe you!"
 

A guy went to the doctor. "Doctor, I keep getting this pain in my eye every time a take a drink of my coffee." The doctor says, "Try taking out the spoon."
 

Man: Doctor! Doctor! I ate the key for my door. Doctor: When did you eat it? Man: About two months ago. Doctor: Why are you coming in now? Man: Because at that time I had another key.
 

Doctor: What's your problem? Patient: Doctor, I don't know why nobody wants to talk to me. Doctor: Nurse, call the next patient!
 

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have a week to live. Patient: What's the bad news? Doctor: I forgot to tell you six days ago.
 

Doctor: Next please! Patient: Can you help me out please? Doctor: Which way did you come in?
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?" "Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist." "Well, can you give me a toe?"
 


To see more Doctor jokes, click the Refresh button, below.

 We also have jokes about…
Advertisement