Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Doctor Jokes

We've got lots of funny Doctor jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

Jokes

Counselor: Why is your nose swelling? Camper: I bent over to smell a brose. Counselor: There is no b in rose. Camper: There was a bee in this one.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm blind. Man: I think you are blind. This is a chip shop!
 

Doctor: Next please! Patient: Can you help me out please? Doctor: Which way did you come in?
 

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have a week to live. Patient: What's the bad news? Doctor: I forgot to tell you six days ago.
 

Lady: Doctor! Doctor! I only have one minute to live. Doctor: Okay! Just a minute!
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor! Last night I had a dream I ate a giant marshmallow! Doctor: That's nice, so what's the problem? Patient: Well, when I woke up my pillow was gone!
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?" "Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist." "Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

A guy went to the doctor. "Doctor, I keep getting this pain in my eye every time a take a drink of my coffee." The doctor says, "Try taking out the spoon."
 

Man: Doctor! Doctor! I ate the key for my door. Doctor: When did you eat it? Man: About two months ago. Doctor: Why are you coming in now? Man: Because at that time I had another key.
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 


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