Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Doctor Jokes

We've got lots of funny Doctor jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Jokes

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I keep seeing in to the future. Doctor: When did this start? Patient: Next Tuesday.
 

Doctor: Next please! Patient: Can you help me out please? Doctor: Which way did you come in?
 

Doctor: What's your problem? Patient: Doctor, I don't know why nobody wants to talk to me. Doctor: Nurse, call the next patient!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm blind. Man: I think you are blind. This is a chip shop!
 

Counselor: Why is your nose swelling? Camper: I bent over to smell a brose. Counselor: There is no b in rose. Camper: There was a bee in this one.
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

A man is in the hospital and he can't talk. All of a sudden the man's wife comes in the room and stands in the corner. The man starts to act like something's wrong. So the doctor gives him a sheet of paper and pencil. The man writes something down and as soon as he finishes he folds the paper and dies. The doctor gets the note and gives it to the wife. She is curious she reads the note. It said, "You are standing on my oxygen cord."
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, will this ointment clear up my spots? Doctor: I never make rash promises.
 

Man: Doctor! Doctor! I ate the key for my door. Doctor: When did you eat it? Man: About two months ago. Doctor: Why are you coming in now? Man: Because at that time I had another key.
 


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