Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Doctor Jokes

We've got lots of funny Doctor jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

Jokes

Lady: Doctor! Doctor! I only have one minute to live. Doctor: Okay! Just a minute!
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I'm going to die in 59 seconds! Doctor: Hang on, I'll be there in a minute.
 

A man said to his doctor, "I can't stop telling lies." The doctor replied, "I don't believe you!"
 

Doctor: Next please! Patient: Can you help me out please? Doctor: Which way did you come in?
 

A teenager saw twins and said to her friend, "I really need to see the doctor! I am seeing double!"
 

Man: Doctor! Doctor! I ate the key for my door. Doctor: When did you eat it? Man: About two months ago. Doctor: Why are you coming in now? Man: Because at that time I had another key.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm blind. Man: I think you are blind. This is a chip shop!
 

Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation? Doctor: Yes, of course. Patient: Great! I never could before!
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, will this ointment clear up my spots? Doctor: I never make rash promises.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor! Last night I had a dream I ate a giant marshmallow! Doctor: That's nice, so what's the problem? Patient: Well, when I woke up my pillow was gone!
 


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