Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Doctor Jokes

We've got lots of funny Doctor jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Advertisement

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

Advertisement

Jokes

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I keep seeing in to the future. Doctor: When did this start? Patient: Next Tuesday.
 

A man said to his doctor, "I can't stop telling lies." The doctor replied, "I don't believe you!"
 

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have a week to live. Patient: What's the bad news? Doctor: I forgot to tell you six days ago.
 

Man: Doctor! Doctor! I ate the key for my door. Doctor: When did you eat it? Man: About two months ago. Doctor: Why are you coming in now? Man: Because at that time I had another key.
 

A man is in the hospital and he can't talk. All of a sudden the man's wife comes in the room and stands in the corner. The man starts to act like something's wrong. So the doctor gives him a sheet of paper and pencil. The man writes something down and as soon as he finishes he folds the paper and dies. The doctor gets the note and gives it to the wife. She is curious she reads the note. It said, "You are standing on my oxygen cord."
 

Counselor: Why is your nose swelling? Camper: I bent over to smell a brose. Counselor: There is no b in rose. Camper: There was a bee in this one.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor! Last night I had a dream I ate a giant marshmallow! Doctor: That's nice, so what's the problem? Patient: Well, when I woke up my pillow was gone!
 

A teenager saw twins and said to her friend, "I really need to see the doctor! I am seeing double!"
 

Lady: Doctor! Doctor! I only have one minute to live. Doctor: Okay! Just a minute!
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm blind. Man: I think you are blind. This is a chip shop!
 


To see more Doctor jokes, click the Refresh button, below.

 We also have jokes about…
Advertisement