Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Doctor Jokes

We've got lots of funny Doctor jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

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Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

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Jokes

An airplane was falling from the sky. Four were aboard, a doctor, a vet, the pilot, and a man who thought he was the smartest person in the world. There were only three parachutes. Doctor: I'm a doctor, so I should jump down first. So he took a parachute and jumped off the plane. The smartest person in the world: Well, I'm the smartest man in the world so I should jump off next. So he took a bag and jumped off. There were two people left. Pilot: How will we decide who jumps off next? Vet: We don't have to, the smartest man in the world just jumped off with my backpack.
 

Patient: Doctor, doctor. I feel invisible. Doctor: What? What? Who said that?
 

Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation? Doctor: Yes, of course. Patient: Great! I never could before!
 

Counselor: Why is your nose swelling? Camper: I bent over to smell a brose. Counselor: There is no b in rose. Camper: There was a bee in this one.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I'm going to die in 59 seconds! Doctor: Hang on, I'll be there in a minute.
 

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have a week to live. Patient: What's the bad news? Doctor: I forgot to tell you six days ago.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm blind. Man: I think you are blind. This is a chip shop!
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, will this ointment clear up my spots? Doctor: I never make rash promises.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm turning into curtains. Doctor: Pull your self together!
 

Patient: Oh Dr. Nerdy! Everyone seems to ignore me! It's like I'm invisi- Dr. Nerdy: Next, please!
 


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