Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Doctor Jokes

We've got lots of funny Doctor jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

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Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

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Jokes

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

A man is in the hospital and he can't talk. All of a sudden the man's wife comes in the room and stands in the corner. The man starts to act like something's wrong. So the doctor gives him a sheet of paper and pencil. The man writes something down and as soon as he finishes he folds the paper and dies. The doctor gets the note and gives it to the wife. She is curious she reads the note. It said, "You are standing on my oxygen cord."
 

Doctor: Next please! Patient: Can you help me out please? Doctor: Which way did you come in?
 

Lady: Doctor! Doctor! I only have one minute to live. Doctor: Okay! Just a minute!
 

Patient: Doctor, doctor. I feel invisible. Doctor: What? What? Who said that?
 

Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation? Doctor: Yes, of course. Patient: Great! I never could before!
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor! Last night I had a dream I ate a giant marshmallow! Doctor: That's nice, so what's the problem? Patient: Well, when I woke up my pillow was gone!
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, will this ointment clear up my spots? Doctor: I never make rash promises.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm turning into curtains. Doctor: Pull your self together!
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?" "Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist." "Well, can you give me a toe?"
 


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