Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Doctor Jokes

We've got lots of funny Doctor jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

Jokes

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?" "Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist." "Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

A man said to his doctor, "I can't stop telling lies." The doctor replied, "I don't believe you!"
 

An airplane was falling from the sky. Four were aboard, a doctor, a vet, the pilot, and a man who thought he was the smartest person in the world. There were only three parachutes. Doctor: I'm a doctor, so I should jump down first. So he took a parachute and jumped off the plane. The smartest person in the world: Well, I'm the smartest man in the world so I should jump off next. So he took a bag and jumped off. There were two people left. Pilot: How will we decide who jumps off next? Vet: We don't have to, the smartest man in the world just jumped off with my backpack.
 

Counselor: Why is your nose swelling? Camper: I bent over to smell a brose. Counselor: There is no b in rose. Camper: There was a bee in this one.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I'm going to die in 59 seconds! Doctor: Hang on, I'll be there in a minute.
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Patient: Doctor, doctor. I feel invisible. Doctor: What? What? Who said that?
 

Patient: Doctor! Doctor! I think I am losing my memory! Doctor: When did that happen? Patient: When did what happen!
 

A guy went to the doctor. "Doctor, I keep getting this pain in my eye every time a take a drink of my coffee." The doctor says, "Try taking out the spoon."
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I keep seeing in to the future. Doctor: When did this start? Patient: Next Tuesday.
 


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