Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Doctor Jokes

We've got lots of funny Doctor jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Jokes

Doctor: What's your problem? Patient: Doctor, I don't know why nobody wants to talk to me. Doctor: Nurse, call the next patient!
 

Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation? Doctor: Yes, of course. Patient: Great! I never could before!
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?" "Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist." "Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor! Last night I had a dream I ate a giant marshmallow! Doctor: That's nice, so what's the problem? Patient: Well, when I woke up my pillow was gone!
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, will this ointment clear up my spots? Doctor: I never make rash promises.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I keep seeing in to the future. Doctor: When did this start? Patient: Next Tuesday.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm turning into curtains. Doctor: Pull your self together!
 

Patient: Oh Dr. Nerdy! Everyone seems to ignore me! It's like I'm invisi- Dr. Nerdy: Next, please!
 

Patient: Doctor, doctor. I feel invisible. Doctor: What? What? Who said that?
 

Man: Doctor! Doctor! I ate the key for my door. Doctor: When did you eat it? Man: About two months ago. Doctor: Why are you coming in now? Man: Because at that time I had another key.
 


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