Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Doctor Jokes

We've got lots of funny Doctor jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Jokes

A guy went to the doctor. "Doctor, I keep getting this pain in my eye every time a take a drink of my coffee." The doctor says, "Try taking out the spoon."
 

Doctor: What's your problem? Patient: Doctor, I don't know why nobody wants to talk to me. Doctor: Nurse, call the next patient!
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I keep seeing in to the future. Doctor: When did this start? Patient: Next Tuesday.
 

Man: Doctor! Doctor! I ate the key for my door. Doctor: When did you eat it? Man: About two months ago. Doctor: Why are you coming in now? Man: Because at that time I had another key.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm turning into curtains. Doctor: Pull your self together!
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, will this ointment clear up my spots? Doctor: I never make rash promises.
 

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have a week to live. Patient: What's the bad news? Doctor: I forgot to tell you six days ago.
 

Counselor: Why is your nose swelling? Camper: I bent over to smell a brose. Counselor: There is no b in rose. Camper: There was a bee in this one.
 

A man is in the hospital and he can't talk. All of a sudden the man's wife comes in the room and stands in the corner. The man starts to act like something's wrong. So the doctor gives him a sheet of paper and pencil. The man writes something down and as soon as he finishes he folds the paper and dies. The doctor gets the note and gives it to the wife. She is curious she reads the note. It said, "You are standing on my oxygen cord."
 

Doctor: Next please! Patient: Can you help me out please? Doctor: Which way did you come in?
 


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