Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Doctor Jokes

We've got lots of funny Doctor jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Jokes

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation? Doctor: Yes, of course. Patient: Great! I never could before!
 

Doctor: Next please! Patient: Can you help me out please? Doctor: Which way did you come in?
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm blind. Man: I think you are blind. This is a chip shop!
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?" "Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist." "Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

A teenager saw twins and said to her friend, "I really need to see the doctor! I am seeing double!"
 

Lady: Doctor! Doctor! I only have one minute to live. Doctor: Okay! Just a minute!
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I'm going to die in 59 seconds! Doctor: Hang on, I'll be there in a minute.
 

Patient: Doctor, doctor. I feel invisible. Doctor: What? What? Who said that?
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor! Last night I had a dream I ate a giant marshmallow! Doctor: That's nice, so what's the problem? Patient: Well, when I woke up my pillow was gone!
 


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