Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Doctor Jokes

We've got lots of funny Doctor jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Jokes

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?" "Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist." "Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

A guy went to the doctor. "Doctor, I keep getting this pain in my eye every time a take a drink of my coffee." The doctor says, "Try taking out the spoon."
 

Doctor: Next please! Patient: Can you help me out please? Doctor: Which way did you come in?
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I'm going to die in 59 seconds! Doctor: Hang on, I'll be there in a minute.
 

A teenager saw twins and said to her friend, "I really need to see the doctor! I am seeing double!"
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, will this ointment clear up my spots? Doctor: I never make rash promises.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm turning into curtains. Doctor: Pull your self together!
 

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have a week to live. Patient: What's the bad news? Doctor: I forgot to tell you six days ago.
 

A man said to his doctor, "I can't stop telling lies." The doctor replied, "I don't believe you!"
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm blind. Man: I think you are blind. This is a chip shop!
 


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