Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Doctor Jokes

We've got lots of funny Doctor jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the rope go to the psychologist?
A. Its nerves were frayed.

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. Why did the rope go to the doctor?
A. It had a knot in its stomach.

Q. There was a boy and a doctor. The boy was the doctor's son but the doctor was not his dad. Who was the doctor?
A. His mom!

Q. Why did the sick shoe go to the doctor?
A. It wanted to be heeled (healed).

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
A. Because he wasn't peeling well!

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He had no patience!

Q. Why did the bucket go to the doctor?
A. He had a pail face!

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You're right!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor who?
You know my name!

Jokes

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm turning into curtains. Doctor: Pull your self together!
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, will this ointment clear up my spots? Doctor: I never make rash promises.
 

A man said to his doctor, "I can't stop telling lies." The doctor replied, "I don't believe you!"
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?" "Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist." "Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Lady: Doctor! Doctor! I only have one minute to live. Doctor: Okay! Just a minute!
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor! Last night I had a dream I ate a giant marshmallow! Doctor: That's nice, so what's the problem? Patient: Well, when I woke up my pillow was gone!
 

Patient: Doctor, doctor. I feel invisible. Doctor: What? What? Who said that?
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I keep seeing in to the future. Doctor: When did this start? Patient: Next Tuesday.
 


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