Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Christmas Jokes

We've got lots of funny Christmas jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...

Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!

Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!

Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!

Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

Q. Which elf was the best singer?
A. ELFis Presley.

Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!

Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
A. Snow.

Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.

Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!

Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.

Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!

Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.

Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!

Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
A. Santa-Claws!

Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
A. Rude-olph!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Jokes

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals? Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?" "Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist." "Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!" The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?" The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside? Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant. "That's no offence," said the judge. "It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 


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