Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Christmas Jokes

We've got lots of funny Christmas jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D


Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!

Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.

Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.

Q. What is a reindeer's favorite instrument?
A. Horns!

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.

Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...

Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.

Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. Why does Rudolph have a red nose?
A. Because he sneezes a lot!

Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!

Q. Why were the kids afraid of Christmas?
A. Because of Santa Claws!

Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.

Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!

Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
A. Tinsilitis!

Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!


Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!



The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!" The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?" The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside? Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?" "Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist." "Well, can you give me a toe?"

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals? Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant. "That's no offence," said the judge. "It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.

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