Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Christmas Jokes

We've got lots of funny Christmas jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.

Q. What's red and white, red and white, red and white?
A. Santa Claus rolling down the hill.

Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!

Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!

Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.

Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
A. Santa-Claws!

Q. How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A. You can sense his presents.

Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?
A. Just long enough to reach the ground!

Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men would stand out in the snow without a coat.

Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.

Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed Krabby Patty.

Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"

Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.

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Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

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Jokes

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!" The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?" The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside? Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant. "That's no offence," said the judge. "It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals? Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?" "Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist." "Well, can you give me a toe?"
 


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