We've got lots of funny Christmas jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D
Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!
Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!
Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!
Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."
Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.
Q. What do you call a Christmas duck?
A. A Christmas quacker!
Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.
Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.
Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.
Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!
Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!
Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!
Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!
Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.
Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"
Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.
Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!
Q. What's red and white, red and white, red and white?
A. Santa Claus rolling down the hill.
Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.
Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!
Snow use. I forgot my name again!
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!
Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals? Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!" The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?" The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant. "That's no offence," said the judge. "It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?" "Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist." "Well, can you give me a toe?"
Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside? Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
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