Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Christmas Jokes

We've got lots of funny Christmas jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!

Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.

Q. What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
A. Silent Night.

Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."

Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.

Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels.

Q. What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A. A broken drum, you cant beat it!

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."

Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
A. Snow.

Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!

Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
A. Comet.

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.

Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.

Q. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A. Nothing, reindeer can't talk.

Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!

Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Jokes

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant. "That's no offence," said the judge. "It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!" The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?" The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?" "Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist." "Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals? Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside? Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 


To see more Christmas jokes, click the Refresh button, below.

 We also have jokes about…