Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Christmas Jokes

We've got lots of funny Christmas jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
A. Rude-olph!

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.

Q. What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
A. Silent Night.

Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!

Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.

Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."

Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!

Q. How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A. You can sense his presents.

Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.

Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!

Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. "I'll have a boo Christmas without you."

Q. What's the best thing to give your parents for Christmas?
A. A list of everything you want!

Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Jokes

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside? Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals? Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant. "That's no offence," said the judge. "It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!" The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?" The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?" "Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist." "Well, can you give me a toe?"
 


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