Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Christmas Jokes

We've got lots of funny Christmas jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What did the gingerbread man find on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa and a dog?
A. Santa Paws!

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!

Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!

Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!

Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. Why is Santa so good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!

Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.

Q. Which elf was the best singer?
A. ELFis Presley.

Q. What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
A. Silent Night.

Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.

Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.

Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.

Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.

Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!

Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Jokes

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant. "That's no offence," said the judge. "It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!" The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?" The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside? Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?" "Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist." "Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals? Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 


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