Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Christmas Jokes

We've got lots of funny Christmas jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why do Rappers like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. Where did Santa Claus go for vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.

Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!

Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.

Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!

Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!

Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?
A. Just long enough to reach the ground!

Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.

Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.

Q. What does Santa say in a race?
A. "Ready, set, HO!"

Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!

Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!

Q. Why did the elf go to school?
A. To learn his ELFabet.

Q. What's red and white, red and white, red and white?
A. Santa Claus rolling down the hill.

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A. You can sense his presents.

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."

Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed Krabby Patty.

Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

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Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

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Jokes

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?" "Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist." "Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!" The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?" The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals? Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside? Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant. "That's no offence," said the judge. "It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 


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