Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Christmas Jokes

We've got lots of funny Christmas jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!

Q. How long should a reindeer's legs be?
A. Just long enough to reach the ground!

Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.

Q. What do cows say at Christmas?
A. MOOey Christmas!

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
A. Tinsilitis!

Q. What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!

Q. Why does Santa have three gardens?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.

Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!

Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.

Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed Krabby Patty.

Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.

Q. How was the snow globe feeling?
A. A little shaken!

Q. What's white, red and blue at Christmas time?
A. A sad candy cane!

Q. Why is Santa so good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!

Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ho, Ho, Ho
Ho, Ho, Ho who?
Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Jokes

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals? Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant. "That's no offence," said the judge. "It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside? Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!" The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?" The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?" "Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist." "Well, can you give me a toe?"
 


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