Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Christmas Jokes

We've got lots of funny Christmas jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.

Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!

Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

Q. What is the cleanest reindeer called?
A. Comet.

Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.

Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels.

Q. What comes before Christmas Eve?
A. Christmas Adam!

Q. What flies when it's born, lies when it's alive, and runs when it's dead?
A. Snow.

Q. Why didn't the wig get any presents on Christmas?
A. Because it was very knotty.

Q. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NOEL!

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."

Q. What's white and goes up?
A. A confused snowflake!

Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.

Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. What is big, red and flies in the sky?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.

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Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sandy
Sandy who?
Sandy Claus!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

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Jokes

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant. "That's no offence," said the judge. "It is if you do it before the shops are open," countered the prosecutor.
 

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!" The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?" The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive,' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."
 

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?" "Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist." "Well, can you give me a toe?"
 

Husband: Why don't you buy Christmas seals? Wife: I really don't know how I'd feed them!
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside? Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

They say in the first part in the song Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer there are only 8 reindeer but there are really 12. First there is Rudolf, of course. Then there is Olive, Olive the other reindeer. Then there is Howe, and Howe the reindeer loved him. Then there is Andy, Andy shouted out with glee. There are 12 reindeer in all.
 


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