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Cat Jokes

We've got lots of funny Cat jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you call a bad event with cats?
A. CATastrophe!

Q. What do you get when you cross an octagon with a cat?
A. An octopus.

Q. What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and cuts grass?
A. A lawn MEOW-er!

Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
A. Santa-Claws!

Q. What do you get when you cross a parrot and a caterpillar?
A. A walkie talkie.

Q. What's a cat's favourite magazine?
A. A CAT-alogue.

Q. What is the difference between a cat that got photocopied and a cat that follows you?
A. One is a cat copy, the other is a copy cat.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ball and a cat?
A. A fur ball.

Q. There are ten cats on a boat. One jumps off, how many are left?
A. None, they were all copy cats!

Q. What did the cat need when it was having trouble seeing?
A. A PURRscription!

Q. What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
A. "Me ow!"

Q. What animal has more lives than a cat?
A. A frog because it croaks every night!

Q. What is a cat's favorite color?
A. PURRple!

Q. Why did the cat sit on the computer?
A. To keep an eye on the mouse.

Q. What is smaller then a talking cat?
A. A spelling bee.

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. A duck, a cat and a cow went out to dinner, who had to pay?
A. The duck. He was the only one with a bill.

Q. There are 2 cats, one is French and the other English. The French cat's name was Un Deux Trois and the English cat's name was One Two Three. Both cats think they're better than the other. To determine this they have a swimming contest. Which cat wins and why?
A. The English cat, because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq! (Un Deux Trois cat sank)

Q. What is the cat's favorite button on the remote?
A. Paws.

Q. What has the fur of a cat, the whiskers of a cat, ears of a car, a tail of a cat, but is not a cat?
A. A kitten.

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Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Hans
Hans who?
Hans off my kitten!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Claws
Claws who?
Claws the door, I'm getting cold!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Puss
Puss who?
Puss-ibly the best cat ever!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Hello
Hello who?
Hello Kitty!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Purr
Purr who?
Purr-fect kitty!

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Jokes

Sam: Wanna hear a joke? Joe: Yes. Sam: Na, I don't want to, just kitten!
 

A boy walked into his classroom late. "Why are you late?" the teacher asked. "Because I saw a dead cat on the way to school," he said. "How did you know it was dead?" "I PSST in its ear." "YOU DID WHAT!?" "Yeah, I bent down and went PSST in its ear and it didn't move."
 

There were 2 cats looking into a green canary's cage. The first cat said to the second cat, "That's not a canary, it's green!" The second cat said, "I don't know, maybe it's not ripe yet!"
 

There were 3 cats, The first cat said, "Meow." Second cat said, "Meow." Third cat said, "Meow, meow." The first cat said, "Don't change the subject."
 

There's this man, he walks up to this lady's door. The lady answers it. The man says, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat. I'd like to replace it." Then the woman says. "How good are you at catching mice?"
 

A cat died in a house. The servant started crying badly. Master: It is only a cat that has died, why are you crying so much? Servant: Master, when the cat was there I used to drink the milk and put the blame on it. Now on whom will I put the blame?
 


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