Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Animal Jokes

We've got lots of funny Animal jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What is a cat's favorite color?
A. PURRple!

Q. What road does a bat take?
A. The high road!

Q. What are a shark's favorite games?
A. Swallow the Leader and Go Fish!

Q. Why did the cow do jumping jacks?
A. Because he wanted a milkshake!

Q. Where do you get draggin' milk?
A. From a cow with short legs.

Q. What is a cow's favourite drink?
A. MOO Juice.

Q. Why do gorillas have broad fingers?
A. Because they have large nostrils.

Q. What is a porcupine's favourite game?
A. Poker.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a camel?
A. A lumpy milkshake!

Q. What does an alligator drink when it is sick?
A. Gatorade!

Q. What bird can write?
A. PENguin!

Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.

Q. Where do sheep get their hair cut?
A. At the bah bah shop.

Q. Why did the cat sit on the computer?
A. To keep an eye on the mouse.

Q. You are trapped in a room and there are 3 doors. Each door has something behind it. The first door has two hungry lions that have not eaten in four years. The second door has electric lasers all across the room. The third has three ninjas ready to attack. Which door would you pick to go through?
A. The first because the lions would be dead if they have not eaten for 4 years!

Q. Why can't a leopard hide?
A. Because he's always spotted!

Q. How do you stop a rhino from charging?
A. Take away its credit card.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
A. A creamy quacker!

Q. What kind of shoes do mice like?
A. Squeakers!

Q. What does a cow do at the theatres?
A. Watch a MOO-vie.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cobra
Cobra who?
Go brush your teeth!!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Amos
Amos who?
Amos quito just bit me, boo hoo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Twit
Twit who?
Did anyone else hear an owl?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrup...
Moooooooo!

Jokes

A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo. The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo." The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
 

There were three pigs and they walked into a restaurant. The waiter said, "What do you want to eat?" The first pig ordered fish and chips the second ordered pizza and the third ordered water. The waiter came again and said, "What do you want for dessert?" The first pig wanted custard, the second some cake and the third wanted water again. The waiter said, "Why do you always have water?" The pig replied, "Because one of us has to go wee, wee, wee all the way home!"
 

One day a big tortoise, a middle sized tortoise and a small tortoise went into a cafe. They ordered three banana splits. While they were waiting they noticed it had begun to rain. "Look at that," said the big tortoise, "we should have brought our umbrella." "You're right," said the middle tortoise. "Let's send the little one back to get it." "I'll go," said the little one. "But only if you promise not to eat my banana split." The big tortoise and the middle tortoise promised. A few days later the big tortoise said to the middle tortoise, "Come on, let's eat his banana spilt any way." "All right," said the middle tortoise. At that moment the little tortoise shouted from the end of the cafe, "You do that and I won't get your umbrella!"
 

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had. Latangela: What did the lion do? LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
 

The pillow asks the teddy bear, "Do you want an ice cream sundae?" The bear says, "No thanks, I'm stuffed!"
 

There's this man, he walks up to this lady's door. The lady answers it. The man says, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat. I'd like to replace it." Then the woman says. "How good are you at catching mice?"
 

Policeman: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle. Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.
 

There were two sisters and they had $700 to spend on a bull. So one sister stayed home and looked after the farm while the other went to the auction. The sister brought the bull for $699 so she went to the post office and asked how much it was to send a telegram. It was $1 a word. So she told the man to send the word: Comfortable. (Come-for-the-bull.)
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

Down in the south where coconuts grow, an elephant stepped on a mosquito's toe. The mosquito jumped up with tears in his eyes and said, "Excuse me but you're not my size."
 


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