Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Animal Jokes

We've got lots of funny Animal jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D


Q. What is the cat's favorite button on the remote?
A. Paws.

Q. If there was a spelling test, which animal would win?
A. The bee!

Q. Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to see his flat mate!

Q. Say milk five times really fast. Now, what do cows drink?
A. Water.

Q. What did the joey say to the turtle?
A. "I can take my home with me too."

Q. What's new at the zoo?
A. A gnu!

Q. How come a cheetah can't play hide and seek?
A. Because he's already been spotted.

Q. There are ten cats on a boat. One jumps off, how many are left?
A. None, they were all copy cats!

Q. What did the pig put on his rash?
A. OINKment!

Q. How do you make a swordfish like the library?
A. Take away the S in its name!

Q. What has two heads, one tail and six legs?
A. A man on a horse.

Q. How do you make a milkshake?
A. Sneak up behind a cow and say boo!

Q. Why did the cow want some cheese?
A. Because it's MOOlicious!

Q. What animal is good with tools?
A. Hammer-head shark!

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. What do you call a deer that makes money?
A. A buck!

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow with a smurf?
A. Blue cheese!

Q. What do cows like to put on their sandwiches?
A. MOOstard!

Q. What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A. He called a tow truck.

Q. There are 10 cats in a boat. One cat jumped out of the boat. How many cats were left?
A. None, they were all copycats.


Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Twit who?
Did anyone else hear an owl?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lionel who?
Lionel bite you if you don't watch out!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cobra who?
Go brush your teeth!!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my carrots!



Lisa: I lost my pet dinosaur. Danny: Why don't you put an ad in the newspaper? Lisa: What good would that do, she can't read!

There were 3 cats, The first cat said, "Meow." Second cat said, "Meow." Third cat said, "Meow, meow." The first cat said, "Don't change the subject."

There were 2 cats looking into a green canary's cage. The first cat said to the second cat, "That's not a canary, it's green!" The second cat said, "I don't know, maybe it's not ripe yet!"

A man walked into a pub and bought a sandwich, then a panda walked into the pub and stole the sandwich, ate it, shoots the barman and leaves. So the man goes out and says to the panda, "Why did you eat my sandwich, shoot the barman and then just leave?" The panda says, "Look panda up in the dictionary." So he looked Panda up and read: Eats shoots and leaves.

"Ggggggggggggggggggggggggggg," said the frog. "You've got a frog in your throat," said the other frog.

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had. Latangela: What did the lion do? LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.

There's this man, he walks up to this lady's door. The lady answers it. The man says, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat. I'd like to replace it." Then the woman says. "How good are you at catching mice?"

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"

Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant? Mother: I don't know. Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.

Two turtles were walking across the road, when suddenly a bright red car came racing around the corner and straight for them, one said to the other, "RUN!"

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