Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Animal Jokes

We've got lots of funny Animal jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What do a car, tree and an elephant have in common?
A. They all have trunks!

Q. What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?
A. A wonkey.

Q. What are a shark's favorite games?
A. Swallow the Leader and Go Fish!

Q. How do you stop an alligator wriggling in the back of your car?
A. Move it to the front!

Q. What did the frog order at the burger place?
A. French flies and a diet croak.

Q. What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?
A. A woolly jumper!

Q. Where do famous dragons go after they retire?
A. The hall of flame!

Q. Why don't you see penguins in Britian?
A. They're afraid of Wales!

Q. What did the fish say to the octopus while the octopus was eating?
A. Lend me a tentacle or 8.

Q. Why did the sheep go to the movies?
A. To get some snAAAHks!

Q. What do fish eat for lunch?
A. SANDwiches!

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.

Q. Where does a bunny go if you give it a pair of socks?
A. A sock hop.

Q. Why did the cow go to Hollywood?
A. She wanted to be a movie star.

Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A. A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

Q. Why does a Koala carry its baby on its back?
A. Because they can't push a pram up a tree!

Q. What was Mr. Cow and Mrs. Cow's favorite time together?
A. When they went on their honeyMOOn.

Q. What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
A. Lost.

Q. What do you call an Italian cow that likes coffee?
A. De-calf.

Q. What do you get when you mix a bear and a skunk?
A. Winnie-The-Phew!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Twit
Twit who?
Did anyone else hear an owl?

Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know
To get to your house.
---
Knock, knock
Who's there?
The chicken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my carrots!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
A parrot
A parrot who?
A parrot who?
Okay, now I get it!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Three pigs
Three pigs who?
Three pigs who can't reach the doorbell.

Jokes

A mother snake bought a gift for her son's birthday. The son was so thrilled he hissed, "Mommy! Help me open it. I'm crawling out of my skin with excitement!"
 

Down in the south where coconuts grow, an elephant stepped on a mosquito's toe. The mosquito jumped up with tears in his eyes and said, "Excuse me but you're not my size."
 

If pigs could fly, imagine what their wings would taste like!
 

An elephant asked an ant, "Please hide me." So the ant replied, "Hide behind me."
 

There were two cows standing in a field talking to each other. They were talking about Mr. Brown's cows having Mad Cow Disease, when one of the cows said, "It's a good thing we're chickens."
 

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile? Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L. Teacher: No, that's wrong. GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?" The guy replied,"No." The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled. "That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

The pillow asks the teddy bear, "Do you want an ice cream sundae?" The bear says, "No thanks, I'm stuffed!"
 

A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo. The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo." The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
 

There was a man who bought a camel. The previous owner told him that to make it walk, say "few," to make it run, say "many" and to make it stop say "amen". So one day the man decided to have a practise ride. He said "few" and the camel started walking, he said "many" and it started running, right towards the edge of a cliff. But the man forgot how to make it stop, so, panicking, he shouted out "Lord save me, Lord save me, Amen" and of course the camel stopped - at the VERY edge. Relieved the man said to himself, "Phew, that was clo-aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
 


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