Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Animal Jokes

We've got lots of funny Animal jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What is black, white and red all over?
A. An embarassed zebra!

Q. Why did the monkey cross the road?
A. Because the chicken retired.

Q. What do you call a tiny rodent?
A. Mini mouse.

Q. One cow is talking to another cow and looks away for 10 seconds and the other cow is gone. Where is the other cow?
A. Over the moon!

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. What does the lion say to his friends before a hunt?
A. "Let us prey."

Q. What's black, white and blue all over?
A. A cold zebra.

Q. Why was the elephant afraid of the computer store?
A. Because they sold the world's best mice.

Q. Why don't you see penguins in Britian?
A. They're afraid of Wales!

Q. Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkly?
A. Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an aspirin!

Q. How do you get 6 donkeys into a fire engine?
A. Two in the front, two in the back and two on the top going, "He-haw, he-haw!"

Q. What happened to the frog's car when it got stuck?
A. It had to get TOAD away.

Q. What does a gorilla say when he is hungry?
A. "Gorilla me a burger."

Q. What do you call a frog that parks in a tow away zone?
A. A TOAD away zone.

Q. What does a polar bear use to keep his head warm?
A. A polar ice cap.

Q. If the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side, how did the frog cross the road?
A. He tied himself to the chicken.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get to the other side.

Q. How do you make a goldfish age?
A. Take away the g in goldfish.

Q. What did the sun say to the sheep and the cloud?
A. "Whoa, are y'all related?"

Q. Where won't you find a dog shopping?
A. At the flea market!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Who
Who who?
I didn't know you were an owl!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my carrots!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Amos
Amos who?
Amos quito just bit me, boo hoo!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know
To get to your house.
---
Knock, knock
Who's there?
The chicken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Owls
Owls who?
That's correct, owls who!

Jokes

Down in the south where coconuts grow, an elephant stepped on a mosquito's toe. The mosquito jumped up with tears in his eyes and said, "Excuse me but you're not my size."
 

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had. Latangela: What did the lion do? LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
 

The pillow asks the teddy bear, "Do you want an ice cream sundae?" The bear says, "No thanks, I'm stuffed!"
 

A man walked into a pub and bought a sandwich, then a panda walked into the pub and stole the sandwich, ate it, shoots the barman and leaves. So the man goes out and says to the panda, "Why did you eat my sandwich, shoot the barman and then just leave?" The panda says, "Look panda up in the dictionary." So he looked Panda up and read: Eats shoots and leaves.
 

A little boy was in a wedding. Every time he walked 2 steps down the aisle, he would roar. When he finally got to the end of the aisle the people asked what he was doing. The little boy said that he was just being the Ring Bear.
 

There were two sisters and they had $700 to spend on a bull. So one sister stayed home and looked after the farm while the other went to the auction. The sister brought the bull for $699 so she went to the post office and asked how much it was to send a telegram. It was $1 a word. So she told the man to send the word: Comfortable. (Come-for-the-bull.)
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

"Ggggggggggggggggggggggggggg," said the frog. "You've got a frog in your throat," said the other frog.
 

There were 2 cats looking into a green canary's cage. The first cat said to the second cat, "That's not a canary, it's green!" The second cat said, "I don't know, maybe it's not ripe yet!"
 

When my brother told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
 


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