Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Animal Jokes

We've got lots of funny Animal jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What is smaller then a talking cat?
A. A spelling bee.

Q. What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A. A milkshake!

Q. What are a shark's favorite games?
A. Swallow the Leader and Go Fish!

Q. How do you catch a rabbit?
A. Make a noise like a carrot.

Q. What goes down but never goes up?
A. An elephant in an elevator.

Q. What is a cow's favorite portrait?
A. MOOna Lisa!

Q. What is white on the outside, green on the inside and hops?
A. A frog sandwich.

Q. Why couldn't the elephant move?
A. Because he couldn't lift his trunk!

Q. What's an angry bull's favourite drink?
A. Red Bull.

Q. Why doesn't the elephant use the computer?
A. Because it is afraid of the mouse!

Q. What did the elephant say to her son when he was naughty?
A. "Tusk tusk!"

Q. Why did the sheep go to the movies?
A. To get some snAAAHks!

Q. What is grey, has a tail and a trunk?
A. A mouse going on a vacation.

Q. Why did the gum cross the road?
A. It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

Q. Why do gorillas have broad fingers?
A. Because they have large nostrils.

Q. What's a cow's favourite drink?
A. LeMOOnade.

Q. What does a gorilla say when he is hungry?
A. "Gorilla me a burger."

Q. Where do beavers and hamsters live together?
A. Hamsterdam.

Q. How do you make a goldfish age?
A. Take away the g in goldfish.

Q. What do you call a cat that eats lemons?
A. A sourpuss.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrup...
Moooooooo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gorilla
Gorilla who?
Gorilla me a hamburger!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Owls
Owls who?
That's correct, owls who!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know
To get to your house.
---
Knock, knock
Who's there?
The chicken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dinosaur
Dinosaur who?
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!

Jokes

An elephant asked an ant, "Please hide me." So the ant replied, "Hide behind me."
 

There were two cows standing in a field talking to each other. They were talking about Mr. Brown's cows having Mad Cow Disease, when one of the cows said, "It's a good thing we're chickens."
 

There was a man and he was walking a lion on the side of the street when a policeman came and said, "Sir please don't walk your lion on the side of the street because its very dangerous. Why don't you take him to the zoo?!" The man agreed with him and took his lion to the zoo. The next day the policeman saw the man walking his lion again and told him the same thing but the man said, "I already took him to the zoo and he liked it a lot, now I'm going to take him to the movies."
 

A man decided to start a chicken farm and brought 24 to get started. A week later he bought another 24 and another 24 the week after that. When his friend asked how his chicken farm was coming along the man replied, "Not one of them has grown yet. I wonder if I'm planting them too deep?"
 

"Ggggggggggggggggggggggggggg," said the frog. "You've got a frog in your throat," said the other frog.
 

There were three pigs and they walked into a restaurant. The waiter said, "What do you want to eat?" The first pig ordered fish and chips the second ordered pizza and the third ordered water. The waiter came again and said, "What do you want for dessert?" The first pig wanted custard, the second some cake and the third wanted water again. The waiter said, "Why do you always have water?" The pig replied, "Because one of us has to go wee, wee, wee all the way home!"
 

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had. Latangela: What did the lion do? LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

There's this man, he walks up to this lady's door. The lady answers it. The man says, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat. I'd like to replace it." Then the woman says. "How good are you at catching mice?"
 

One day a duck waddles into a mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out. The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says no and the duck waddles out. The next day the duck does the same and once again the clerk says no and adds if you ask me one more time I will nail your webbed feet to the floor. So the duck waddles out. The next day the duck waddles into the mini market and asks the clerk, "Got any nails?" The clerk says no. "Then got any grapes?"
 


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