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Animal Jokes

We've got lots of funny Animal jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What did the sun say to the sheep and the cloud?
A. "Whoa, are y'all related?"

Q. Why don't you see penguins in Britian?
A. They're afraid of Wales!

Q. Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?
A. Because he had a big bill.

Q. What is a cow's favourite movie?
A. Moo-lan.

Q. What animal is NOT allowed to play in games or contests?
A. Cheetahs (cheaters)

Q. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A. A dino-snore!

Q. Why do fish live in salt water?
A. Because pepper water would make them sneeze!

Q. What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?
A. A Tyrannosaurus WRECK!

Q. What did one lion say to another when they saw some hunters in a jeep?
A. "Look, meals on wheels!"

Q. What place has the most cows?
A. Moo York. (New York)

Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
A. Achoowawa!

Q. What dog loves to take a shower?
A. A shamPOODLE.

Q. What is grey, has a tail and a trunk?
A. A mouse going on a vacation.

Q. What animal is good with tools?
A. Hammer-head shark!

Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. Pork Chop!

Q. Why did the cow do jumping jacks?
A. Because he wanted a milkshake!

Q. What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and cuts grass?
A. A lawn MEOW-er!

Q. What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?
A. A wonkey.

Q. What is the difference between a piano and a fish?
A. You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish!

Q. What did the elephant say to her son when he was naughty?
A. "Tusk tusk!"

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Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Kanga
Kanga who?
No, Kangaroo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lionel
Lionel who?
Lionel bite you if you don't watch out!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gorilla
Gorilla who?
Gorilla me a hamburger!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Amos
Amos who?
Amos quito just bit me, boo hoo!

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Jokes

"Ggggggggggggggggggggggggggg," said the frog. "You've got a frog in your throat," said the other frog.
 

Tongue Twister: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk but the stump thunk the skunk stunk!
 

Mary had a little lamb, But the lamb started to tease her. Mary said, "STOP!" But the lamb refused So now it's in the freezer.
 

Three pigs walked into a restaurant and the waiter asked them what they would like to drink. The first pig wanted Coke, the second Sprite and the third wanted water, lots and lots of water. The waiter came back to ask for the main course and the first pig wanted salad, the second wanted chicken and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water. The waiter came back and asked for their dessert choices. The first pig wanted cake, the second wanted cupcakes and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water. The waiter was curious and asked the third pig, "Why do you want so much water?" The third little pig smiled and said, "I'm the little pig that goes, wee, wee, wee all the way home"
 

When my brother told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
 

A little boy was in a wedding. Every time he walked 2 steps down the aisle, he would roar. When he finally got to the end of the aisle the people asked what he was doing. The little boy said that he was just being the Ring Bear.
 

LaKesheauna: My dentist put his finger in a lion's mouth to see how many teeth it had. Latangela: What did the lion do? LaKesheauna: It closed its mouth to see how many fingers my dentist had.
 

Policeman: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle. Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.
 

There was a man who bought a camel. The previous owner told him that to make it walk, say "few," to make it run, say "many" and to make it stop say "amen". So one day the man decided to have a practise ride. He said "few" and the camel started walking, he said "many" and it started running, right towards the edge of a cliff. But the man forgot how to make it stop, so, panicking, he shouted out "Lord save me, Lord save me, Amen" and of course the camel stopped - at the VERY edge. Relieved the man said to himself, "Phew, that was clo-aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
 

Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "Oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches." Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
 


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