Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Animal Jokes

We've got lots of funny Animal jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because he was tired of living beside KFC!

Q. Why couldn't the elephant move?
A. Because he couldn't lift his trunk!

Q. Why did the cow pack his bags?
A. Because he was MOOving!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. Where do fish keep their money?
A. In the riverbank.

Q. What goes down but never goes up?
A. An elephant in an elevator.

Q. What sort of appliance does a monkey use?
A. A gorilla. (A griller)

Q. What's new at the zoo?
A. A gnu!

Q. What do mice feel like when they come out of the shower?
A. Squeaky clean!

Q. Why is the ocean always grumpy?
A. You'd be grumpy too if you had crabs on your bottom!

Q. Why did the young cat get arrested ?
A. For his litter!

Q. What did the judge say when the skunk entered the court?
A. "Odor in the court!"

Q. Why did the cow do jumping jacks?
A. Because he wanted a milkshake!

Q. What is the difference between a piano and a fish?
A. You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish!

Q. Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
A. Because their feet stink.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?
A. The Milky Baa-r kid.

Q. There is a horse tied to a rope five yards long. Ten yards away there is hay. The horse is eating the hay, how did he get there?
A. The rope isn't tied to anything.

Q. What is the difference between a cat that got photocopied and a cat that follows you?
A. One is a cat copy, the other is a copy cat.

Q. What kind of motorcycle does a pig drive?
A. A hog!

Q. What do you call a smart pig?
A. CunningHAM!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know
To get to your house.
---
Knock, knock
Who's there?
The chicken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrup...
Moooooooo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dinosaur
Dinosaur who?
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!

Jokes

A little boy was in a wedding. Every time he walked 2 steps down the aisle, he would roar. When he finally got to the end of the aisle the people asked what he was doing. The little boy said that he was just being the Ring Bear.
 

A cat died in a house. The servant started crying badly. Master: It is only a cat that has died, why are you crying so much? Servant: Master, when the cat was there I used to drink the milk and put the blame on it. Now on whom will I put the blame?
 

A woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy near a dog. The woman asks, "Does your dog bite?" The guy replied,"No." The woman reached down to pet the dog and it bit her. "I thought you said he didn't bite," she yelled. "That's not my dog," he yelled!
 

There was a man and he was walking a lion on the side of the street when a policeman came and said, "Sir please don't walk your lion on the side of the street because its very dangerous. Why don't you take him to the zoo?!" The man agreed with him and took his lion to the zoo. The next day the policeman saw the man walking his lion again and told him the same thing but the man said, "I already took him to the zoo and he liked it a lot, now I'm going to take him to the movies."
 

When my brother told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
 

Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant? Mother: I don't know. Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.
 

Down in the south where coconuts grow, an elephant stepped on a mosquito's toe. The mosquito jumped up with tears in his eyes and said, "Excuse me but you're not my size."
 

Lisa: I lost my pet dinosaur. Danny: Why don't you put an ad in the newspaper? Lisa: What good would that do, she can't read!
 

Three pigs walked into a restaurant and the waiter asked them what they would like to drink. The first pig wanted Coke, the second Sprite and the third wanted water, lots and lots of water. The waiter came back to ask for the main course and the first pig wanted salad, the second wanted chicken and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water. The waiter came back and asked for their dessert choices. The first pig wanted cake, the second wanted cupcakes and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water. The waiter was curious and asked the third pig, "Why do you want so much water?" The third little pig smiled and said, "I'm the little pig that goes, wee, wee, wee all the way home"
 

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile? Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L. Teacher: No, that's wrong. GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
 


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