Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Animal Jokes

We've got lots of funny Animal jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the baby chick cross the road?
A. It was take-your-child-to-work day.

Q. What animal carries an umbrella around?
A. A reindeer!

Q. Why do elephants have trunks?
A. Because they would look funny with a suitcase.

Q. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A. A dino-snore!

Q. What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?
A. A Tyrannosaurus WRECK!

Q. What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
A. Ouchy, mama!

Q. What animal has a crown on its head?
A. A rooster.

Q. What do you get when you mix a bear and a skunk?
A. Winnie-The-Phew!

Q. There are ten cats on a boat. One jumps off, how many are left?
A. None, they were all copy cats!

Q. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A. A pouch potato.

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. What do you call a dinosaur with a big vocabulary?
A. A theSAURUS!

Q. Which day is mostly avoided by fish?
A. FRYday!

Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. An injured penguin.

Q. What do beavers like on their salad?
A. Branch dressing.

Q. What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
A. "Me ow!"

Q. What do you call elephants that swim?
A. Swimming trunks!

Q. How do rabbits travel?
A. By hare planes!

Q. What did one lion say to another when they saw some hunters in a jeep?
A. "Look, meals on wheels!"

Q. What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A. I don't know, a Hershey BAAH?!

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Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dinosaur
Dinosaur who?
Dinosaurs don't go who, they go ROAR!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cobra
Cobra who?
Go brush your teeth!!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cows go
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Dasum
Dasum who?
Dasum cute dog!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
A parrot
A parrot who?
A parrot who?
Okay, now I get it!

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Jokes

Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant? Mother: I don't know. Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.
 

Mary had a little lamb, But the lamb started to tease her. Mary said, "STOP!" But the lamb refused So now it's in the freezer.
 

A man decided to start a chicken farm and brought 24 to get started. A week later he bought another 24 and another 24 the week after that. When his friend asked how his chicken farm was coming along the man replied, "Not one of them has grown yet. I wonder if I'm planting them too deep?"
 

One day a lady entered a pet shop. Lady: May I have a rabbit for my daughter? Storekeeper: Sorry Ma'am, we don't do trades.
 

There were two cows standing in a field talking to each other. They were talking about Mr. Brown's cows having Mad Cow Disease, when one of the cows said, "It's a good thing we're chickens."
 

Once there was a scientist doing a test on a frog. He told the frog to jump, so it jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "4 legs-jumps." Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's front legs and said, "Jump." The frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "3 legs-jumps." Then the scientist cut off the frog's other front leg and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "2 legs-jumps." Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's back legs and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. So the scientist wrote in his notes, "1 leg jump." Then the scientist cut off the last leg and said, "Jump," and the frog didn't move. So the scientist said it again, but it still didn't move, so in his notes the scientist wrote, "No legs-goes deaf."
 

Three pigs walked into a restaurant and the waiter asked them what they would like to drink. The first pig wanted Coke, the second Sprite and the third wanted water, lots and lots of water. The waiter came back to ask for the main course and the first pig wanted salad, the second wanted chicken and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water. The waiter came back and asked for their dessert choices. The first pig wanted cake, the second wanted cupcakes and the third pig wanted water, lots and lots of water. The waiter was curious and asked the third pig, "Why do you want so much water?" The third little pig smiled and said, "I'm the little pig that goes, wee, wee, wee all the way home"
 

A man walked into a pub and bought a sandwich, then a panda walked into the pub and stole the sandwich, ate it, shoots the barman and leaves. So the man goes out and says to the panda, "Why did you eat my sandwich, shoot the barman and then just leave?" The panda says, "Look panda up in the dictionary." So he looked Panda up and read: Eats shoots and leaves.
 

A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo. The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo." The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
 

One day, Ah Meng asked Siew Lee, "Why do lions eat raw meat?" Siew Lee said, "Because they are wild animals?" Ah Meng said, "Wrong! They eat raw meat because they can't cook!"
 


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