Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Animal Jokes

We've got lots of funny Animal jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. A zebra with the chicken pox.

Q. How do you make a cow float?
A. Root beer, ice cream, a cherry, and a cow.

Q. What did the pig put on his rash?
A. OINKment!

Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A. Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?!

Q. What is the difference between a piano and a fish?
A. You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish!

Q. How did the dog get splinters in his tongue?
A. He ate table scraps.

Q. What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A. A milkshake!

Q. What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
A. One is really heavy. The other is a little lighter.

Q. What did the dragon say after laying 50 eggs?
A. "I'm EGGShausted!"

Q. What does a cow do at the theatres?
A. Watch a MOO-vie.

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.

Q. Why did the young cat get arrested ?
A. For his litter!

Q. What kind of musical instrument do rats play?
A. Mouse organs.

Q. What's a monkey's favorite snack?
A. Chocolate chimp cookies.

Q. Why don't penguins live in Britain?
A. Because they're scared of Wales!

Q. How do you stop a mouse from squealing?
A. Oil it.

Q. Why was the horse unable to get into the antelopes' music club?
A. He had no horns!

Q. Why did the cow do jumping jacks?
A. Because he wanted a milkshake!

Q. What's better than a talking dog?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Who
Who who?
I didn't know you were an owl!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Cobra
Cobra who?
Go brush your teeth!!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Twit
Twit who?
Did anyone else hear an owl?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Amos
Amos who?
Amos quito just bit me, boo hoo!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrup...
Moooooooo!

Jokes

There was a man and he was walking a lion on the side of the street when a policeman came and said, "Sir please don't walk your lion on the side of the street because its very dangerous. Why don't you take him to the zoo?!" The man agreed with him and took his lion to the zoo. The next day the policeman saw the man walking his lion again and told him the same thing but the man said, "I already took him to the zoo and he liked it a lot, now I'm going to take him to the movies."
 

Down in the south where coconuts grow, an elephant stepped on a mosquito's toe. The mosquito jumped up with tears in his eyes and said, "Excuse me but you're not my size."
 

If pigs could fly, imagine what their wings would taste like!
 

Mary had a little lamb, But the lamb started to tease her. Mary said, "STOP!" But the lamb refused So now it's in the freezer.
 

Tongue Twister: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk but the stump thunk the skunk stunk!
 

There's this man, he walks up to this lady's door. The lady answers it. The man says, "I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat. I'd like to replace it." Then the woman says. "How good are you at catching mice?"
 

Two turtles were walking across the road, when suddenly a bright red car came racing around the corner and straight for them, one said to the other, "RUN!"
 

An elephant asked an ant, "Please hide me." So the ant replied, "Hide behind me."
 

There were 3 cats, The first cat said, "Meow." Second cat said, "Meow." Third cat said, "Meow, meow." The first cat said, "Don't change the subject."
 

Bob: I lost my dog today. Bill: So put an ad in the paper. Bob: What good would that do? My dog can't read.
 


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