Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Jokes

We've got lots of funny jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. There are 20 birds in a tree. A man comes and shoots one of the birds. How many birds are left?
A. None, because all the birds flew away after hearing the gun shot.

Q. Why do cows wear bells?
A. Because their horns don't work!

Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away her W.

Q. What did the cake say to the fork?
A. "You want a piece of me?"

Q. Ike went through the town casuing havoc and he was on the news and in the newspaper. What is Ike?
A. A hurricane!

Q. What do wrestler's drinks come in?
A. Six packs!

Q. What does an orange do when it takes a test?
A. It concentrates!

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. Which month has 28 days?
A. All of them, of course!

Q. What is the biggest word in the world?
A. Smiles. There is a mile in between each S.

Q. What do you call a fairy that hasn't taken a bath?
A. STINKerbell.

Q. Where did the boat go when it was sick?
A. His dock.

Q. What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A. Doyouthinkhesarus?

Q. What word, if spelled right is wrong and spelled wrong is right?
A. Wrong!

Q. What is a TV's favorite thing to do at the the beach?
A. Channel surf.

Q. What can fill up the the room but takes no space?
A. Light.

Q. What place has the most cows?
A. Moo York. (New York)

Q. Why does Waldo wear stripes?
A. Because he doesn't want to be spotted!

Q. What is something you will never see again?
A. The past.

Q. If there was a spelling test, which animal would win?
A. The bee!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Love
Love who?
Don't you love me?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Don't cry, it's only a joke.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pencil
Pencil who?
Pencil fall down if you don't wear a belt.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Mary
Mary who?
Marry me?

(Sing) Stay on the sunny side, always on the sunny side, stay on the sunny side of life, of life. May it cause you no pain, may it drive you insane, stay on the sunny side of life, of life.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Easter
Easter who?
Easter bunny.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
More
More who?
More Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Even more
Even more who?
Even more Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Car
Car who?
Car come and run over the Easter bunnies.
(Sing song)
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny who?
Some bunny has been eating my Easter candy!

Jokes

Snake 1: I hope I'm not poisonous. Snake 2: Why? Snake 1: Because I just bit my tongue.
 

Screen door: Something kids get a bang out of!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?" The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

I guess they found a cure for Bieber Fever, because now everyone's got One Direction Infection!
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach. Kelly: You mean she is really nice? Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

A teenager saw twins and said to her friend, "I really need to see the doctor! I am seeing double!"
 

There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.
 

Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it. Student: If I had a sweater with ten buttons and two fell off, then I would only have to fascinate (fasten eight)!
 

One day these two football players where flying in an airplane. The first engine on the plane blew and the pilot said, "We just lost one of our airplane's engines, but it's okay because we have one more. It will just take us an hour longer to get there." Then one of the players says to other, I hope the last engine doesn't blow, because then we will be stuck up here all day!"
 


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