Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Jokes

We've got lots of funny jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why was the bread dough sad?
A. It wanted to be kneaded by someone.

Q. Why was the turkey banned from the corn field?
A. Because he would gobble it up!

Q. What do you get when you cross a ball and a cat?
A. A fur ball.

Q. Why did the doofus climb the glass wall?
A. So he could see what was on the other side.

Q. Where did the mother monster put her child when she was at work?
A. At day-SCARE!

Q. There are 5 fish and 2 drown. How many are left?
A. Fish don't drown.

Q. Why he did the book want to work with the police?
A. Because he wanted to work under cover.

Q. What did the tornado ask the car?
A. "Wanna go for a spin?"

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. Why did the rooster cross the road?
A. Because he wasn't a chicken.

Q. What did the bad chicken lay?
A. A deviled egg.

Q. Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. The snowball.

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. Why did the bee feel cold?
A. Because it is in the middle of A and C.

Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!

Q. 30 people are in a room, no way in, no way out. Don't ask me how they got in. Someone counted and they got 34-heads. How is that possible?
A. 30 foreheads!

Q. What is the problem with two twin witches?
A. You never know which witch is which!

Q. Which country is the slipperiest?
A. Greece!

Q. Why did the elephant stay on the marshmallow?
A. Because she didn't want to fall in the hot cocoa.

Q. What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A. Finding half a worm in your apple.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know
To get to your house.
---
Knock, knock
Who's there?
The chicken!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Happy
Happy who?
Happy Thanksgiving!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Lena
Lena who?
Lena little closer and I'll tell you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Honey bee
Honey bee who?
Honey bee a sweetie and get me some chips.

Jokes

Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it? Student: Obviously it is the past tense.
 

Man: Give me some shampoo. Shopkeeper: Here you are. Man: What is free in this? Shopkeeper: Nothing. Man: Do not tell lies, sir. This is dandruff free.
 

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside? Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.
 

Teacher: How many seconds in a minute? Student: 60 Teacher: How many minutes in an hour? Student: 60 Teacher: Good, now for a hard one, how many seconds in a year? Student: 12 Teacher: 12? Student: Yes, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...
 

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, will this ointment clear up my spots? Doctor: I never make rash promises.
 

A teacher asked a boy a question after she had read her lesson. The boy just held his ears and shut his mouth "Why are you not giving me any answer?" "Because what ever you taught me goes in my ears and if I open my mouth, I will forget everything you said."
 

Father: What did you do today to help your mother? Son: I dried the dishes Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces.
 

Melissa: Man is it cold out! Jennifer: Why do you say that? Melissa: I just chipped a tooth on my soup!
 

Erin: Hey Taya, did you hear the joke about the bed? Taya: No, what is it? Erin: Never mind, it hasn't been made up yet.
 

Art teacher: Mimi, I told the class to draw a horse and cart, but you have only drawn a horse! Mimi: Yes sir, the horse will draw the cart!
 


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