Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Jokes

We've got lots of funny jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the willow weep?
A. Because it saw the water fall (waterfall).

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. Why was the dog sitting next to the fire?
A. He was a hotdog!

Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. Pork Chop!

Q. What bow can't be tied?
A. A rainbow.

Q. How do rabbits travel?
A. By hare planes!

Q. What is cute and cuddly and lives in your toilet?
A. Winnie the Pooh!

Q. Where does the Easter bunny eat breakfast?
A. IHOP.

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. Why did the banana wear sunscreen?
A. He didn't want to peel!

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. When is the best time to buy budgies?
A. When they're going cheap.

Q. What word of only three syllables contains 26 letters?
A. Alphabet.

Q. What's an insect's favorite sport?
A. Cricket.

Q. Where did the boat go when it was sick?
A. His dock.

Q. What card game do crocodiles like to play?
A. SNAP!

Q. Why did the tomato blush?
A. Because it saw the salad dressing!

Q. How does the Easter Bunny paint all the Easter eggs?
A. He hires Santa's elves during the off season.

Q. Why didn't the bunny hop?
A. No bunny knows.

Q. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?
A. A buccaneer (A buck an ear)

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
A parrot
A parrot who?
A parrot who?
Okay, now I get it!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ben and Jimmy
Ben and Jimmy who?
Ben down and Jimmy a kiss.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Tickle
Tickle who?
Tickle you.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sorry
Sorry who?
Sorry wrong door!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Bow
Bow who?
Not bow who, bow wow!

Jokes

A teacher says to a student, "I thought I told you to go to the back of the line?" The student says, "I did, but someone was there!"
 

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? Donald: H I J K L M N O. Teacher: What are you talking about? Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
 

Teacher: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? Glen: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
 

My wife still misses me but her aim's getting better!
 

Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? John: You told me to do it without using tables.
 

There was a man carrying a lobster. His friend said, "What are you doing with that lobster under your arm?" The man replied, "I am taking him to dinner." The lobster spoke out, "I already had dinner, can we go to the movies instead?"
 

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom? Little Johnny: But I asked first!
 

Said to a railroad engineer: What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. The reply from the railroad engineer: How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?
 

Teacher: What is the purpose of having school? Student: Without school, there wouldn't be a reason for holidays and summer vacation.
 

Emma: Do you know what echo means? John: Can you repeat that?
 


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