Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles


We've got lots of funny jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D


Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. Because the chicken retired!

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. Why did the toddler toddle across the road?
A. He wanted to pat the chicken.

Q. Why is Cinderella a bad football player?
A. Because she has a pumpkin as a coach!

Q. What do you get if you cross poison ivy with a
four leaf clover?
A. A rash of good luck!

Q. What lights up the soccer stadium?
A. The match!

Q. Why did the dalmation go to the eye doctor?
A. Because he kept seeing spots.

Q. What has four legs, stands and is helpful to people?
A. A table!

Q. How do you make an octopus laugh?
A. Ten Tickles (Tentacles)!

Q. Why did the orange lose the race?
A. Because it ran out of juice.

Q. What did the fish say to the other fish?
A. "(O)(o)(O)(o)(O)" (Hello)

Q. What do you call a witch who likes the beach but is scared of the water?
A. A chicken sand witch.

Q. There was a man who walked into a bar and asked if he could have a glass of water but the bartender pointed a gun at him and the man who asked for water said thank you and left. Why did he say thank you?
A. Because the man had the hiccups.

Q. Why do people like vampires so much?
A. Because they are FANGtastic!

Q. What do you call a football team with pigs?
A. Queens Pork Rangers.

Q. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and put the elephant in and then close the door.

Q. How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and take out the elephant and put the giraffe in, then close the door.

Q. The animals were having a meeting in the jungle. Who didn't come?
A. The giraffe, it was in the refrigerator.

Q. A man was hiking in the jungle. He came to a river. In the river lived alligators. How did the man cross the river?
A. He swam across, the alligators were at the meeting.

Q. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A. To stay in shape!

Q. How does a rabbit throw a tantrum?
A. He gets hopping mad.

Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.

Q. Think of the person who lives in disguise, who deals in secrets and tells nothing but lies.
Next tell me what's always last to mend the middle of middle and end of the end.
And finally give me the sound often heard during the search for a hard to find word.
Now string them all together and answer me this:
What creature would you be unwilling to kiss?
A. A spider.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Evan who?
Evan comes after odd.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Atch who?
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you had a cold.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Armageddon who?
Armageddon out of here if you don't let me in!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ash who?
Do you need a tissue?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
I am
I am who?
You don't know who you are?


Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. Winnie: Me!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm turning into curtains. Doctor: Pull your self together!

Patient: Doctor, Doctor. I think I'm blind. Man: I think you are blind. This is a chip shop!

Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today. Mom: That's wonderful! What did you get a hundred in? Stevie: In two things: I got forty in reading and sixty in spelling.

Father: What did you do today to help your mother? Son: I dried the dishes Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces.

If this is New York, where is the old one?

Down in the south where coconuts grow, an elephant stepped on a mosquito's toe. The mosquito jumped up with tears in his eyes and said, "Excuse me but you're not my size."

"I don't know how you sleep in this mess!" A mother exclaimed to her son when she went into his room. "Easy mom," he replied, "I just close my eyes."

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Bill: My sister has lovely long red hair all down her back. Will: Pity it's not on her head.

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