Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Jokes

We've got lots of funny jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the turtle cross the street?
A. To get to the Shell station.

Q. Where do crayons go on vacation?
A. COLORado!

Q. Why was the ant confused?
A. Because all of his uncles were ants!

Q. What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A. Finding half a worm in your apple.

Q. What pants do ghosts wear?
A. BOO jeans.

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.

Q. What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A. Ban-ana-na!

Q. Which one is faster, hot or cold?
A. Hot. You can catch cold!

Q. What did the pitcher say when eggs, bacon and pancakes were playing baseball?
A. "Butter up."

Q. What comes down but never goes up?
A. Rain.

Q. Where are chicks born?
A. In Chick-cago.

Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A. Because chickens weren't invented yet.

Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. An injured penguin.

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
A. Plymouth Rock!

Q. Why was the girl staring at the juice box?
A. Because it said: "Concentrate."

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Q. Which letter comes once in a minute, twice in a millennium but never in thousand years?
A. The letter M.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Alex!
Alex! who?
Alex Plain when you let me in!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Me
Me who?
You don't know me?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Echo
Echo who?
Echo who? Echo who?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Police
Police who?
Police let us in. It's raining outside!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Hello
Hello who?
Hello Kitty!

Jokes

A boy was told to write a 100 word essay. He thought for a bit then started. 'I went out to call my cat in for the night, so I called 'kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty...'
 

Jessica: There's a guy that has a wooden leg named Smith. Amber: What's the name of his other leg?
 

"I don't know how you sleep in this mess!" A mother exclaimed to her son when she went into his room. "Easy mom," he replied, "I just close my eyes."
 

There was a kid named Joey and he couldn't add, so when they had a test on addition he copied off John's paper. When he was finished with the test his teacher said: Joey why did you copy off John's paper? Joey: I didn't. Teacher: Yes you did. Joey: How did you know? Teacher: I knew because when John wrote, "I don't know," on question #6, you wrote, "me neither."
 

Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? Simon: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
 

Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it? Student: Obviously it is the past tense.
 

Customer: There is a fly in my soup. Waitress: Don't worry the spider in your bread will get it.
 

Student asking his teacher: Do you punish people for things they don't do? Teacher: No. Student: Good, because I haven't done my homework today.
 

2 fish went down an alley, one go battered!
 

Is this milk pasteurized? No, it's only up to your nose.
 


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