Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Jokes

We've got lots of funny jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the goose cross the road?
A. He didn't want to be called a chicken!

Q. What did the duck say to the clerk?
A. "Put it on my bill."

Q. Why did the cats get married?
A. They were PURR-fect for each other!

Q. I have 7 children half of them are boys, what is the other half?
A. They were all boys.

Q. What do dogs eat for breakfast?
A. POOCHed eggs and BARKen.

Q. What do dogs and trees have in common?
A. Bark.

Q. Why was Cinderella thrown off the football team?
A. Because she ran away from the ball!

Q. What key opens a Haunted House?
A. A spooKEY!

Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. Pork Chop!

Q. What is a parrot's favorite food on the 4th of July?
A. Fire crackers!

Q. What is green, small and round and goes up and down?
A. A pea in a lift.

Q. If there was a spelling test, which animal would win?
A. The bee!

Q. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
A. A plumpkin!

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.

Q. Why was the dog sitting next to the fire?
A. He was a hotdog!

Q. Why did the rooster cross the road?
A. He wanted to impress the chicks!

Q. How do you get fat free milk?
A. From a skinny cow!

Q. What says, "Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't?"
A. A snowman on a cross walk!

Q. How does a bee get to school?
A. On a bzz!

Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Tickle
Tickle who?
Tickle you.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Atch
Atch who?
Bless you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
You
You who?
Did you you say Yahoo.com?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Sherwood
Sherwood who?
Sure would like you to open the door!

Jokes

A newspaper reporter submitted a story about the theft of 2,025 pigs. His editor, struck at the size of the theft, called the farmer to confirm. "Is it true that you lost two thousand twenty-five pigs?" he asked. "Yeth," said the farmer. The editor thanked him, hung up, and changed the phrase to "two sows and 25 pigs."
 

Boss: Where were you born? Sardarji: India. Boss: Which part? Sardarji: What do you mean which part? My whole body was born in India!
 

Martin Luther Chicken Jr. says: "I dream of a world where chickens can cross roads and not be questioned of their reason!"
 

Tongue Twister: A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk but the stump thunk the skunk stunk!
 

There was a man called Stupid and a man called Nobody. One day Stupid pushed Nobody out of the window and then called for an ambulance. When it arrived, he told them that Nobody fell out of the window. The ambulance driver replied, "Are you stupid?" Stupid replied, "That's amazing!! How did you guess?!"
 

Tim: Winter is here. Tom: Don't answer the door.
 

Think about the phrase " There are plenty of other fish in the sea," but then again, who would want to date fish?
 

A man once said he bet I couldn't name a landmark in Egypt. I replied, "You Sphinx?"
 

There was a family of tomatoes, the father tomato, the mother tomato and the baby tomato. They were walking down the road one day and baby tomato kept lagging behind. So finally the father tomato went back and stepped on him and said, "Catch up!"
 

A man tried to sell me a coffin today and I said, "That's the last thing I need!"
 


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