Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Jokes

We've got lots of funny jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What did the Ghost Busters have on their hands?
A. Ghost blisters.

Q. What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
A. Plymouth Rock!

Q. Why can't Dracula play baseball?
A. He lost his bat.

Q. Why was the cumputer cold at night?
A. It forgot to close its windows.

Q. What was the name of the fastest dinosaur?
A. The PRONTOsaurus!

Q. What do babies and basketball players have in common?
A. They dribble.

Q. What gets wetter as it dries?
A. A towel!

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. Which is the best month for a parade?
A. March.

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. What does a cloud wear under it's raincoat?
A. Thunderwear!

Q. What did Shakespeare say to the pencil?
A. "Write on!"

Q. Why were the police suspicious of the window drapes?
A. They were shady.

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. What do you call a worried hot dog?
A. A frank fretter.

Q. Why did the apple cuddle the orange?
A. Juice because he wanted a squeeze!

Q. How do you eat an elephant?
A. One bite at a time.

Q. What do bananas do when they get a sunburn?
A. They peel.

Q. What's a frog's favorite year?
A. Leap year!

Q. Three ladies are under a small umbrella. None of them got wet. How did they do it?
A. It wasn't raining!

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Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Berry
Berry who?
Berry nice too meet you can. Can I come in now?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Spell
Spell who?
W-H-O!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Nun
Nun who?
Nun of your business!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Raichu
Raichu who?
Raichu are!

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Jokes

Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Boy: Dad, Dad the canary flew out of its cage while I was cleaning the cage. Dad: What did you clean it with? Boy: A vacuum cleaner.
 

Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it? Student: Obviously it is the past tense.
 

There was a pig on the side of the road and a man came and picked him up. A cop saw him driving with the pig in his car. The cop pulled him over and said, "What are you doing with a pig in your front seat?" The man said, "I'm taking him to the zoo." And the cop said, "Oh, alright." The next day the cop saw the same man with the same pig in his front seat, he pulled him over and asked, "What are you doing with that pig? I thought you were taking him to the zoo." "I did, and today we're going to Disneyland."
 

Mother: George, why does your geography exam have a big zero over it? George: It is not a zero, Mum. The teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead!
 

A cop pulls a woman over and says, "Can I see your driver's licence?" The girl asks, "What's a driver's licence?" The cop says, "A little square thing with your picture on it." So she dug through her purse and found a little hand mirror, and looked in it. She said, "This has my picture on it." She handed it to the cop. He looks in it and says, "Why didn't you say you were a cop, I wouldn't have pulled you over?"
 

There were two dummies standing by a lake. One was on one side, and the other one was on the other side. "How do I get to the other side?" asked the first dummy. "You are on the other side!" said the second dummy.
 

Once there was a scientist doing a test on a frog. He told the frog to jump, so it jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "4 legs-jumps." Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's front legs and said, "Jump." The frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "3 legs-jumps." Then the scientist cut off the frog's other front leg and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. The scientist wrote in his notes, "2 legs-jumps." Then the scientist cut off one of the frog's back legs and said, "Jump," and the frog jumped. So the scientist wrote in his notes, "1 leg jump." Then the scientist cut off the last leg and said, "Jump," and the frog didn't move. So the scientist said it again, but it still didn't move, so in his notes the scientist wrote, "No legs-goes deaf."
 

A man walks into a computer store. Store Owner: Hello sir! Welcome to The Computer store! Man: I would like to buy a computer that sings really well. Owner: Well, we have Macs. Man: No, no. Owner: Would you like to look at our PC collection? Man: Okay. Owner: How about you buy a dell? (Adele) Man: NOW THAT'S A SINGING COMPUTER!
 

Teacher: If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took two, what would you get? Billy: A fight!
 


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