Squigly Squigly's Jokes and Riddles

Jokes

We've got lots of funny jokes for you! These riddles, knock, knock jokes and jokes have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know they will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What do you get if you cross a bee and a bunny?
A. A honey bunny!

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. What is red and has fangs?
A. An apple. I lied about the fangs!

Q. How do you keep a chicken in suspense?
A. I'll tell you later.

Q. Why did the cow do jumping jacks?
A. Because he wanted a milkshake!

Q. What has a tongue but can't talk?
A. A shoe!

Q. What did the jelly say to the peanut butter?
A. "We make a good match!"

Q. Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato?
A. To keep from falling in the stew!

Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!

Q. Why do gorillas have broad fingers?
A. Because they have large nostrils.

Q. Why is a riddle like a joke?
A. It's no good without a point.

Q. Why did the dog get a pedicure?
A. Because his feet were RUFF!

Q. What has four wheels and flies?
A. Garbage truck!

Q. What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
A. Open TOAD sandals.

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. Why did the cactus cross the road?
A. Because he was stuck to the chicken's back.

Q. When does a zebra soldier get to be a sergeant?
A. When he earns his stripes.

Q. What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?
A. Sandy claws.

Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ash
Ash who?
Do you need a tissue?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Puss
Puss who?
Puss-ibly the best cat ever!

Will you remember in a year?
Yes.
Will you remember in a month?
Yes.
Will you remember in a week?
Yes.
Will you remember in a day?
Yes.
Knock, knock
Who's there?
You forgot me already!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Puppy
Puppy who?
Puppy love!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gobble gobble
Gobble gobble who?
Gobble, gobble your Thanksgiving turkey!

Jokes

The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present. The student: I walk. You walk, .. The teacher interrupts him: Quicker please. The student: I run. You run.
 

Two girls were watching the 11 o'clock news when the first girl said, "I bet you five dollars that the man jumps off the building." The second girl said, "You're on." Well, five minutes later the guy jumped off the building. The first girl said," I can't take your money, I saw the five o'clock news." The second girl said, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd be stupid enough to do it again."
 

Joey: Little Joey can't come to school today. Principal: Why? Joey: He is sick Principal: Who is this? Joey: It's my dad.
 

Once this guy wanted a pet bird so he walked into this pet store with a sign that said 'MAGICAL PETS'. Once he was in the pet store he understood why. There were dogs with no ears or eyes, cats dancing on their hands, rabbits that could only say ribbit, and finally in the far, far corner a parrot that looked like it was doing nothing at all. So the guy walked up to the manager and said, "What is so magical about that parrot over there?" The manager smiled and said, "I will show you." So they walked over to the back of the room and the manager pulled the parrot's left leg. Before the guy knew it the parrot was singing the national anthem! "WOW!" the guy said. "What happens if you pull his right leg?" So the manager pulled the parrot's right leg and the parrot sang Your A Grand Old Flag! "WOW!!!" The guy said. "What about both legs?" But before the manager could say a word the parrot said, "I'll fall stupid!"
 

Teacher: Mark can you tell me what you would like to be in the future? Mark: I'd like to be a billionaire and be famous. Teacher: Interesting, what about you Esther. Esther: I'd like to be Mark's wife!
 

Two girls are distracted by another girl singing terribly, so they said, "You should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away from here!"
 

Student asking his teacher: Do you punish people for things they don't do? Teacher: No. Student: Good, because I haven't done my homework today.
 

A boy said, "Mommy, my feet hurt!" His mother said, "That's because your shoes are on the wrong feet." "But these are the only feet I have," replied the boy.
 

Boy: God, what is a thousand years to you? God: A second. Boy: God, what is a thousand dollars to you? God: A penny. Boy: God, can I have a penny? God: Sure, just a second.
 

A man walks into a dental office and says to the dentist, "I think I'm a moth." The dentist says, "What!" The man says, "I think I'm a moth." The dentists says, "You need a phsycologist, not a dentist. Why'd you come in here?" The man says, "Because your light was on."
 


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