Squigly's Riddles

Welcome to our collection of the best riddles sent in by our visitors over the years! We have received so many riddles we couldn't fit them all on one page so make sure you check out both pages of riddles.

Blue dot Riddles Blue dot Christmas Jokes    
Blue dot Knock-Knock Jokes Blue dot Easter Jokes
Blue dot Jokes Blue dot Halloween Jokes
Blue dot Chicken Jokes Blue dot School Jokes
Blue dot

Elephant Jokes


Riddles Page 2 of 2

Riddles Page 2 of 2

What happened to the frog's car when it got stuck?
It had to get TOAD away.

Why was the ghost on the cheerleading squad?
It wanted to add a little team spirit.

What did the magazine say to the pencil?
"You are looking very sharp today."

The more you take of these, the more you leave behind. What are they?

What kind of witch lives at the beach?
A sandwich.

Why did Paige bring a ruler to bed with her?
She wanted to see how long she slept.

What's new at the zoo?
A gnu!

What kind of music do mummy's listen to?
Wrap music.

What did the jelly say to the peanut butter?
We make a good match!

Why did the fairy smell bad?
Because people called her Stinker Bell!

Why did the dinosaur wear a bandage?
Because he had a dino-SORE!

Why couldn't the bike stand up on it's own?
Because it was two-tired!

Ike went through the town and he was on the news and in the newspaper. What is Ike?
A hurricane!

What do you call a grizzly bear that doesn't have teeth?
A gummy bear!

How many seconds are in a year?
12: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, …

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No I deer!

What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs?
Still no I deer!

There are 30 horses riding on red hills, sometimes light, sometimes dark. What are they?
Teeth .

What do people have in common with a math book?
We've all got a lot of problems!

May's dad has 4 kids. Their names are Moe, Joe and Soe. What's the name of the 4th child?

How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time.

Why don't skeletons fight?
Because they don't have the guts!

Why did the boy throw his clock out the window?
He wanted to see time fly!

A man pushes a car to a hotel and realizes he's bankrupt. Why?
He's playing Monopoly!

I begin with an E end end in an E and I contain one letter, what am I?
I am an envelope.

What did Delaware?
A New Jersey!

What two things do you have to give in order to receive?
Love and friendship.

Which day is mostly avoided by fish?

If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the green house made out of?
Glass, because it's a green house.

Why don't people like Count Dracula?
Because he is a pain in the neck.

What is black, white and red?
A panda with a rash!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.

Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!

If you're Scottish when you go into the bathroom and you're Scottish when you go out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom?

30 people are in a room, no way in, no way out. Don't ask me how they got in. Someone counted and they got 34-heads. How is that possible?
30 foreheads!

There's an old man living in a one story house. Everything in the house is green. The plates, the bowls, the cups, the food, the couch, the pillows, the table, the water, the dog, the cat, the spoons, the forks, the knives, even his clothes and hair are green! What color are the stairs?
He lives in a one story house, there are no stairs!

What do you call a smart pig?

What do you call a bear who forgot his socks?

Can you name two things that have an eye buy can't see?
A needle and a hurricane!

What is an army man's favorite month?

What can't you eat at dinner?
Breakfast and lunch!

What has wheels and flies, but never goes in the air?
A garbage truck!

One night, a chef and a teacher went to an island with a boat. The island had only plants and trees, when they went back to the boat there were 3 people. Why?
There was a knight, a chef and a teacher.

How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
You can hear him coughin'.

What do you call a reptile that sings?
A RAPtile!

What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.

What month has 28 days?
All of them.

I am what the homeless have, the rich need, and if you eat me, you die. What am I?
Nothing. The homeless have nothing, the rich need nothing, and if you eat nothing, you will die.

Does a match box?
No, but a tin can!

How do you wake up Lady Gaga
Poker Face!

Sam, Lula, Mike, and Kayla all live in a house. Mike and Kayla went out to the movies and when they got back Lula was on the floor dead in a pile of broken glass and water. Sam was on the couch sleeping and didn't know what happened. How did Lula die?
Sam is a dog and Lula is a fish. Sam pushed over the fish bowl.

Where does a one legged man work?

What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
"I LAVA you!"

Why was the computer late to work?
He had a hard-drive.

What did the happy slice of cheese say to the sad slice of cheese?
"Awww, it will be okay! Everything is GOUDA!"

Why can't you play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.

What has two threes and two holes?
The number 8.

What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?

What do you call someone with 4 eyes, 3 noses, 6 arms, 4 legs and 8 ears?

Why did Mickey Mouse go to space?
To find Pluto.

What has a lot of keys but can't open doors?
A piano.

What is in and out, big and small, short and tall, up and down, and all around?
Life and time.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the possums how it's done.

What did the frog order at the restaurant?
French FLIES!

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
There was a dog on the other side.

Why did Peter Pan always fly and never stop?
Because he could never never land.

What's a bunny's favorite restaurant?

Why did the turkey run across the road?
He wanted to get away from Thanksgiving!

What's a cow's favorite thing to do?
Go to the MOOvies.

Why did the rooster cross the road?
To prove he wasn't a chicken!

What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud!

Why was the horse unable to get into the antelopes' music club?
He had no horns!

What goes around the world but stays in a corner?
A stamp.

How did Jack Frost get to work?
By icicle!

What kind of bird uses ink to write?
A PEN-guin!

What is the only question you can never answer honestly with a yes?
"Are you asleep?"

What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but never in a thousand years?
The letter M.

How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it!

What runs around the garden but never moves?
A fence!

What goes up but never goes down?
Your age!

What can you catch but not in your hands?
A cold!

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snow flakes!

If chickens get up when the rooster crows, when do ducks get up?
At the quack of dawn!

What is a sea monster's favorite food?
Fish and ships!

One cow is talking to another cow and looks away for 10 seconds and the other cow is gone. Where is the other cow?
Over the moon!

If there was a spelling test, which animal would win?
The bee!

What do you get if you cross a porcupine and a giraffe?
A seven metre long toothbrush!

What is the best way to catch a squirrel?
Act like a nut.

Three ladies are under a small umbrella. None of them got wet. How did they do it?
It wasn't raining!

Why don't the students take tests in the zoo?
Because there is too many cheetahs.

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

What does one wave say to the other?
Nothing. They just waved.

How do you cure a head ache?
Put your head through the window and the pane will go!

If you say it, you break it. What is it?

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!

Why was the cook so mean?
Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!

What is a crate's favorite sport?

Why is the White House spotless?
Because it lives in WASHington!

If athletes get athletes foot, then what do astronauts get?

Why was the clock in the cafeteria always slow?
Because every lunch it went back four seconds!

What bow can't be tied?
A rainbow!

How many elephants fit into a Mini Cooper?
Two in the front and two in the back.

How do you know an elephant has been in your fridge?
You see footprints in the butter.

How do you know there have been two elephants in your fridge?
There are two sets of footprints in the butter.

How do you know there has been three elephants in the fridge?
There are three sets of footprints in the butter.

How do you know there have been 4 elephants in the fridge?
There's a mini cooper parked outside

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