Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!
Q. What
is a mummy's favourite type of music?
A. Rap
music.
Q. Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A. A scare centre!
Q. What
is a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A. The
trombone.
Q. Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
A. MaliBOO!
Q. Why
didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He
was a pain in the neck!
Q. What
does a bird say at Halloween?
A. "Twick
or tweet."
Q. What
does a panda ghost eat?
A. Bam-BOO!
Q. What
do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?
A. Lazy
bones!
Q. What
did one casket say to the other casket?
A. "Is
that you coffin?" (coughing)
Q. Who did Dracula bring to the prom?
A. His ghoul friend.
Q. What key opens a Haunted House?
A. A spooKEY!
Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.
Q. What
did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A. "Spook
when you're spooken to."
Q. What
kind of mail does a superstar vampire get?
A. Fang
mail.
Q. What
is the problem with two twin witches?
A. You
never know which witch is which!
Q. Where
did the ghosts go for vacation?
A. Mali-BOO.
Q. What
pants do ghosts wear?
A. BOO
jeans.
Q. What
do you call a witch who likes the beach but is scared of the water?
A. A
chicken sand witch.
Q. What
does a ghost call his mom and dad?
A. His
transparents.
Q. What
did the skeleton order with his drink?
A. A
mop.
Q. Why did the mummy get a headache?
A. Because he was GOBLIN his candy!
Q. Who
won the zombie war?
A. Nobody,
it was dead even.
Q. Where
did the ghost go on vacation?
A. The
BOO-hamas!
Q. Why
did Dracula go to the library?
A. He
wanted a good book to sink his teeth into!
Q. How do phantoms travel?
A. Ghost to ghost.
Q. What
kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?
A. A
wide scream TV.
Q. What
did the witch say when she fell in the moat?
A. "My
eels are killing me!"
Q. What
do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin
poop!
Q. What
do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy?
A. Either
a flying bandage or a gift wrapped bat!
Q. What
school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.
Q. What
did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!
Q. What
did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A. A
pumpkin patch.
Q. Why
is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A. Because
you can see right through him.
Q. What
do you call a witch at the beach?
A. A
sand-witch.
Q. Why
couldn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because
he didn't have the guts.
Q. Why
did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because
he wanted to get some muscles!
Q. Why
did the vampire give up acting?
A. Because
he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.
Q. Why
was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because
there was a dog on the other side.
Q. What
do skeletons say before they start to eat?
A. Bone
appetite.
Q. What
do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I
scream.
Q. What
monster wears the most clothes?
A. A
werewolf!
Q. How
do you make a witch itch?
A. Take
away her W.
Q. What
did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch
the board and I'll go through it again."
Q. Why
didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?
A. Because
he had no body to go with.
Q. Why
did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?
A. Because
he had no body to dance with!
Q. What
is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.
Q. Why
was the little ghost crying?
A. Because
he wanted his mummy.
Q. What
did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their
way to a Halloween party?
A. "Let's
get glowing."
Q. What
do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
A. A
flying Band-Aid.
Q. Why
do witches fly around on broomsticks?
A. Because
vacuum cleaners are too heavy!
Q. What
do you do when you see a ghost?
A. Run
away of course!
Q. Where
does a vampire keep his money?
A. In
a blood bank.
Q. What
do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?
A. A
cab.
Q.
Why don't skeletons play music in church?
A.
They have no organs.
Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.
Q. What
do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A
cockatoo!
Q. What
did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A. "Long
time no see."
Q. What
did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth cleaned?
A.
The dentist.
Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?
A. Ghoul-aid!
Q. What
do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A. A
crummy mummy.
Q. Where
do you go when a ghost is chasing you?
A.
To the living room!
Q. What
is a skeleton's favourite drink?
A. Milk,
it's white and good for your bones.
Q. When do vampires like horse racing?
A. When it's neck and neck!
A. What
do you get when you cross a ghost and a goblin?
Q. I
don't know, but it doesn't sound good to me!
Q. What
do you call a fat vampire slayer?
A. Puffy!
Q. Why
did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because
he only had one pupil.
Q. Why
didn't the ghost go boo?
A. Because
it had no guts.
Q. What
do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
A. Frostbite.
Q. What
do you call two witches who share a broom?
A. Broom
mates.
Q. What
do you call two witches that live together?
A.
Broom mates.
Q. What
do you call a nervous witch?
A. A
twitch.
Q. What
do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?
A. Dead
ringers.
Q. What
does a ghost keep in its stable?
A. Nightmares.
Q. How
do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.
Q. How
was Frankenstien's birth?
A. Shocking.
Q. Why
can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A.
Because it goes in one ear and out the other.
Q. What
do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The
1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.
Q. What
kind of streets do zombies live on?
A.
Dead-ends.
Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.
Q. What
kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life
Savers.
Q.
What happens when a ghost haunts a theatre?
A.
The actors get stage fright.
Q.
What song do vampires hate?
A. "You are my sunshine!"
Q. What
did the little ghost say to his mom?
A. "I've
got a boo boo."
Q. What
is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A
roller-ghoster.
Q. What
do witches call for in a hotel room?
A. Broom
service.
Q. What
do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock
Bones!
Q. What
do you call an overweight pumpkin?
A. A
plumpkin!
Q. How do you make a skeleton laugh?
A. Tickle its funnybone!
Q. What
is worse than being a three hundred pound witch?
A. Being
her broom.
Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!
Q. What
did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do
you believe in people?!"
Q. What
do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld
Fang Syne!
Q. Where
do ghosts get their mail?
A. At
the ghost office.
Q. What
do skeletons say at the front door?
A. "Crick
or creak!"
Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A. Any old girl he can dig up.
Q. Why was the big hairy , two-headed monster top of the class in school?
A. Because two heads are better than one.
Q. Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?
A. Frankenstein, because Dracula sucks!
Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!
Q. Why doesn't a witch wear a flat hat?
A. Because there's no point in it!
Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!
Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.
Q. What games do bats like to play on Halloween?
A. Anything with a ball.
Q. What do you read on Halloween?
A. BOO-ks
Q. Why can't Dracula play baseball?
A. He lost his bat.
Q. What time is it when you see costumes, a house, candy and hear trick-or-treat?
A. Halloween!
Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!
Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.
