Squigly's Elephant Jokes and Riddles

What's big, grey and laughing out loud? An elephant reading Squigly's Elephant jokes. Here are the best elephant riddles and jokes that have been sent in over the years.
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Elephant Jokes

   

Riddles

Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. The chicken couldn't be bothered!

Q. What is big, grey and has a lot of red bumps?
A. An elephant that was stung by a lot of bees!

Q. Why couldn't the two elephants go swimming together?
A. Because they only had one pair of trunks!

Q. How do you know an elephant is under your blanket?
A. Because when you get in your bed your nose touches the ceiling.

Q. Why did the elephant stay on the marshmallow?
A. Because she didn't want to fall in the cocoa.

Q. What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
A. Stuck!

Q. Why did the elephant paint her toenails red?
A. So she could hide in a bowl of cherries.

Q. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants?
A. "Look, a herd of elephants!"

Q. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses?
A. Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.

Q. What do you get when an elephant sky dives?
A. A big hole.

Q. What's big and grey with horns?
A. An elephant marching band!

Q. What do you call an elephant on the road?
A. A speed bump.

Q. How does a elephant get out of a tree?
A. He climbs on a leaf and waits till autumn!

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.

Q. What goes down but never goes up?
A. An elephant in an elevator.

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. An elephant that's dressed up in a banana skin.

Q. Why do elephants have trunks?
A. Because they would look funny with a suitcase.

Q. What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?
A. Nothing, he just let out a little wine.

Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a parrot?
A. An animal that tells you everything it remembers!

Q. There were two elephants under one umbrella, why didn't they get wet?
A. It wasn't raining.

Q. Why do elephants have wrinkles?
A. Ever tried to iron an elephant?

Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A. A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
A. Elephino.

Q. How do you fit four elephants in a red mini?
A. Two in the front and two in the back.

Q. How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge?
A. There are footprints in the butter.

Q. How do you know if there are two elephants in your fridge?
A. You can hear them talking.

Q. How do you know if there are three elephants in your fridge?
A. You can't close the door.

Q. How do you know if there are four elephants in your fridge?
A. There's a red mini in your driveway.

Q. What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an elephant?
A. Great big holes all over Australia.

Q. What do a tree and an elephant have in common?
A. A trunk.

Q. How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?
A. Grapes are purple.

Q. How do you hunt for elephants?
A. Hide in a bush and make a noise like a peanut.

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?
A. Time to get a new fence!

Q. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
A. Open the door and put it in.

Q. Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A. To stomp out forest fires.

Q. Why do elephants have large feet?
A. To stomp out flaming ducks!

Q. Why doesn't the elephant use the computer?
A. Because it is afraid of the mouse!

Q. What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A. He called a tow truck.

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits in a chair?
A. Time to buy a new chair!

Q. What do a car, tree and an elephant have in common?
A. They all have trunks!

Q. Why do elephants have trunks?
A. They'd look pretty stupid with glove compartments.

Q. Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?
A. So he wouldn't get his tennis shoes wet.

Q. What is the same size as a elephant, yet weighs nothing?
A. An elephant's shadow!

Q. Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkly?
A. Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an aspirin!

Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. Because the chicken retired!

Jokes

Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant?
Mother: I don't know.
Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.

Policeman: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle.
Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.

Down in the south where coconuts grow, an elephant stepped on a mosquito's toe. The mosquito jumped up with tears in his eyes and said, "Excuse me but you're not my size."

An elephant asked an ant, "Please hide me." So the ant replied, "Hide behind me."

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