Squigly's Jokes & Riddles for Kids


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Here are the latest jokes, riddles and knock-knock jokes sent to Squigly from his friends around the world. Just have a scroll and have a laugh. If you have a funny one that you would like to share, send it to Squigly. If you make him laugh, he'll add it to this page.

Riddles

Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.

Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.

Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!

Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!

Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels.

Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!

Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.

Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."

Q. What do you call a Santa that sleeps all the time?
A. Santa snores!

Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.

Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Q. What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
A. Silent Night.

Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!

Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes..

Q. Why does Santa have three gardens ?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.

Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed a Krabby Patty.

Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
A. Comet.

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. Santa covered with chimney soot.

Q. What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
A. An ice burger with chili sauce.

Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!

Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

Q. What do elves learn in school?
A. The elf-abet.

Q. If athletes get athlete's foot, then what do astronauts get?
A. Missile-toe.

Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.

Q. What two countries should the chef use when he's making Christmas dinner?
A. Turkey and Greece.

Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws.

Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
A. Santa-Claws!

Q. What do you call a girl with a Christmas Tree on her head?
A. Carol.

Q. What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?
A. Tinsilitis!

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."

Q. Why did Frosty have a carrot in his nose?
A. Because he forgot where the refrigerator was.

Q. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne!

Q. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
A. "Aren't you tired of hanging around?"

Q. Why are there only snowmen and not snowwomen?
A. Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. What did the monkey sing on Christmas day?
A. Jungle bells, Jungle bells...

Q. What do you call Santa Claus deep fried?
A. Krisp Kringle.

Q. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A. Nothing, reindeer can't talk.

Q. What do you call Santa when he goes down a chimney with a fire at the bottom?
A. Krisp Cringle.

Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Q. What is big, red and flies in the sky?
A. Santa Clause.

Q. Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
A. It was a BANG!

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. Pineapple.

Q. Which elf was the best singer?
A. ELFis Presley.

Q. What is the cleanest reindeer called?
A. Comet.

Q. How do you know when Santa's in the room?
A. You can sense his presents.

Q. What did the cow get for Christmas?
A. A COWculator.

Knock, Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladis
Gladis who?
Gladis not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish.
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey.
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Jokes

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa's reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, "Rudolph and Olive!"
The host asked the contestant, "We'll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?"
The man looked at the host and said, "You know, 'Olive' the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names..."

Santa Claus: What's that terrible racket outside?
Mrs. Claus: It's rain deer.

Father Christmas' sleigh broke down on Christmas Eve. He flagged down a passing motorist and asked, "Can you give me a hand?"
"Sorry," the motorist replied. "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist."
"Well, can you give me a toe?"

... more Christmas fun.

Do you have one you'd like to share? Send it to Squigly.