Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: School

School Jokes

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about school. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these school jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. Which bet can't be won?
A. Alphabet.

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A. Because she thought it was a high school.

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Jokes

There was a kid named Joey and he couldn't add, so when they had a test on addition he copied off John's paper. When he was finished with the test his teacher said: Joey why did you copy off John's paper?
Joey: I didn't.
Teacher: Yes you did.
Joey: How did you know?
Teacher: I knew because when John wrote, "I don't know," on question #6, you wrote, "me neither."
 

Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it.
Student: If I had a sweater with ten buttons and two fell off, then I would only have to fascinate (fasten eight)!
 

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your dad for another, how much would you have?
Boy: One dollar.
Teacher: Are you sure?
Boy: Yes, my dad wouldn't give me a dollar!
 

Teacher: Order children, order!
Student 1: I want a burger!
Student 2: I want chocolate ice cream!
Student 3: I want Lasagne!
Teacher: Sheesh!
Students: (laughing) Sorry!!!
 

Teacher: How many seconds in a minute?
Student: 60
Teacher: How many minutes in an hour?
Student: 60
Teacher: Good, now for a hard one, how many seconds in a year?
Student: 12
Teacher: 12?
Student: Yes, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...
 

Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with I.
Millie: I is...
Teacher: No, Millie. Always say I am.
Millie: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
 

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.
 

A teacher asked a girl, "How was the Red Sea formed?"
The girl said, "Sorry Miss, I don't know who painted it."
 

A teacher said to his students, "Give me a sentence with lettuce."
The students said, "Lettuce out of school early!"
 

Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.
 

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