Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: School

School Jokes

Funny back to school jokes and riddles for kids, by kids!

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about school. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these school jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A. Because she thought it was a high school.

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. Which bet can't be won?
A. Alphabet.

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Jokes

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

Mom: What did you learn on your first day of school?
Child: Not enough, they want me to come back tomorrow!
 

Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Simon: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
 

Teacher: Have you completed the work at home?
Student: No, sir.
Teacher (angrily): Why?
Student: Because my father has hired servants to do the work at home.
 

Student asking his teacher: Do you punish people for things they don't do?
Teacher: No.
Student: Good, because I haven't done my homework today.
 

Teacher: Mark can you tell me what you would like to be in the future?
Mark: I'd like to be a billionaire and be famous.
Teacher: Interesting, what about you Esther.
Esther: I'd like to be Mark's wife!
 

Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it.
Student: If I had a sweater with ten buttons and two fell off, then I would only have to fascinate (fasten eight)!
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

A teacher says to a student, "I thought I told you to go to the back of the line?"
The student says, "I did, but someone was there!"
 

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