Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: School

School Jokes

Funny back to school jokes and riddles for kids, by kids!

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about school. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these school jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.

Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Jokes

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
 

Dad: Why is your test score so low?
Girl: Because of absence.
Dad: You were absent?
Girl: No, the girl next to me was.
 

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the classroom. The teacher asked why are you arguing. One of the boys said, "We found a $10 bill and decided to give it to the person who tells the biggest lie."
The teacher said, "You should be ashamed of yourselves. When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie meant."
The two boys gave the $10 bill to the teacher.
 

A teacher said to a student could you count to ten for me. This is what the kid said: "1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 10."
The teacher asked, "Where is 9."
"7 ate 9," said the student matter-of-factly.
 

Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it?
Student: Obviously it is the past tense.
 

Teacher: Who is smart? Put up your hand.
Then all the students except Ken raise their hand.
Teacher: Ken, why aren't you raising your hand?
Ken: Because if I raise my hand than you'll be all alone.
 

A boy came home from school. "How much did you learn in school today?" His mother asked.
"Not enough, I have to go back again tomorrow."
 

Teacher: Take a seat!
Student: Take it where?
 

Teacher: If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took two, what would you get?
Billy: A fight!
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

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