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School Jokes

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here is our funny collection of school jokes , school knock knock jokes and school riddles. They are guaranteed to make you LOL!


Riddles

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Q. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A. Because she thought it was a high school.

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. Where do pencils come from?

A. Pennsylvania.

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A. Because the teacher told him to take a seat.

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Jokes

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

Student: Teacher, Teacher!
Teacher: Yes?
Student: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: After you recite the alphabet.
Student: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z!
Teacher: Where did the P go?
Student: It's running down my leg!
 

Teacher: Mark can you tell me what you would like to be in the future?
Mark: I'd like to be a billionaire and be famous.
Teacher: Interesting, what about you Esther.
Esther: I'd like to be Mark's wife!
 

Teacher: Order children, order!
Student 1: I want a burger!
Student 2: I want chocolate ice cream!
Student 3: I want Lasagne!
Teacher: Sheesh!
Students: (laughing) Sorry!!!
 

Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it.
Student: If I had a sweater with ten buttons and two fell off, then I would only have to fascinate (fasten eight)!
 

Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Student: That's not fair! You answered the easy ones and left me with the hard one!
 

Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth?
Boy: I don't know?
Teacher: Think of the apple story.
Boy: I know, Granny Smith!
 

Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.
Socks can eat anywhere they want.
 

Teacher: Have you completed the work at home?
Student: No, sir.
Teacher (angrily): Why?
Student: Because my father has hired servants to do the work at home.
 

Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it?
Student: Obviously it is the past tense.
 

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