Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: School

School Jokes

Funny back to school jokes and riddles for kids, by kids!

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about school. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these school jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. Where do pencils come from?
A. Pennsylvania.

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. Which bet can't be won?
A. Alphabet.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A. Because the teacher told him to take a seat.

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A. A synonym roll.

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Jokes

Teacher: Are you cold?
Student: Yes.
Teacher: Go sit in the corner it's 90 degrees!
 

Mom: What did you learn on your first day of school?
Child: Not enough, they want me to come back tomorrow!
 

It was the first day of school and the teacher asked all the troublemakers to stand up. Finally this girl stood up and the teacher asked, "Are you a troublemaker?"
The girl said, "No." The teacher asked why she was standing and the girl said, "You looked lonely."
 

Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Student: That's not fair! You answered the easy ones and left me with the hard one!
 

Student: The brain is a wonderful thing.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Student: Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!
 

Teacher: What is the purpose of having school?
Student: Without school, there wouldn't be a reason for holidays and summer vacation.
 

Once there was a boy who needed to do his home work. His homework was to write down his family's favourite words.
So when he got home he asked his mom who was listening to the radio, "What is your favourite word mom?"
"Shut up!" So he wrote that down.
Then he went to his dad who was watching football and his favourite team had just scored a goal, so the little boy asked his dad,"What is your favourite word dad?"
"Yeah!" So he wrote that down.
Next he went to his big sister and he asked her, "What is your favourite word?"
She was listening to her favourite CD and said, "A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop." So he wrote that down.
Next he went to his brother. He was watching the end of Batman, he asked him, "What is your favourite word?"
"Nananananananana Batman!" so he wrote that down.
Then he went to his baby sister who was playing with her cars. So he asked her, "What is your favourite word?"
"Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car." So he wrote that down.
The next day at school, the teacher asked him to share his homework with the class
He said, "Shut up!"
The teacher said, "Do you want to go to the principal's office?"
"Yeah!"
"What do you think you deserve?"
"A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop."
"Who do you think you are?"
"Nananananananana Batman!"
"What do you think you are going to get away with?"
"Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car."
 

Principal: Well, Ronald, I hear you missed the first day back to school.
Ronald: Yeah, but I didn't miss it very much.
 

Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it.
Student: If I had a sweater with ten buttons and two fell off, then I would only have to fascinate (fasten eight)!
 

A boy came home from school. "How much did you learn in school today?" His mother asked.
"Not enough, I have to go back again tomorrow."
 

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