Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!
Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.
Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!
Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!
Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!
Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.
Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.
Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.
Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.
Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.
Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!
Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"
Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.
Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!
Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!
Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!
Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!
Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.
Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.
Q. What do you do with dead elements?
Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!
Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.
Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.
Q. Where do pencils come from?
Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"
Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!
Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.
Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"
Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.
Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.
Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.
Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!
Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!
Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.
Q. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A. Because she thought it was a high school.
Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!
Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!
Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !
Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!
Q. What tools do you need for math?
Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!
Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!
Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.
Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"
Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.
Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."
Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!
Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.