Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!
Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!
Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!
Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!
Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!
Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.
Q. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A. Because she thought it was a high school.
Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!
Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"
Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.
Q. What do you do with dead elements?
Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."
Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."
Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!
Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.
Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!
Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!
Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.
Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!
Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"
Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !
Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.
Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.
Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"
Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.
Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!
Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!
Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.
Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"
Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."
Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.
Q. What tools do you need for math?
Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!
Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.
Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!
Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.
Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"
Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.
Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.
Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!
Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.
Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).
Q. Where do pencils come from?
Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!
Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.