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Squigly's School Jokes, Riddles and Knock Knock Jokes

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here is our funny collection of school jokes guaranteed to make you LOL! To see some new free jokes just refresh the page!

Blue dot Riddles Blue dot Christmas Jokes    
Blue dot Knock-Knock Jokes Blue dot Easter Jokes
Blue dot Jokes Blue dot Halloween Jokes
Blue dot Chicken Jokes Blue dot School Jokes
Blue dot

Elephant Jokes

   


Riddles

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A. Because she thought it was a high school.

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A. Because the teacher told him to take a seat.

Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. Where do pencils come from?

A. Pennsylvania.

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Jokes

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: Me!
 

Mom: What did you learn on your first day of school?
Child: Not enough, they want me to come back tomorrow!
 

Invisible Boy's Mother: Why are your grades so low?
Invisible Boy: Because the teacher always marks me absent.
 

Teacher: Fred, the story you handed in called "Our Dog," is exactly like your brother's.
Fred: Of course. It's the same dog.
 

A teacher once asked a boy, "Where is the Dead Sea?"
The boy replied, "Miss, I never knew it was sick."
 

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
 

Dad: Why is your test score so low?
Girl: Because of absence.
Dad: You were absent?
Girl: No, the girl next to me was.
 

Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.
Socks can eat anywhere they want.
 

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the classroom. The teacher asked why are you arguing. One of the boys said, "We found a $10 bill and decided to give it to the person who tells the biggest lie."
The teacher said, "You should be ashamed of yourselves. When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie meant."
The two boys gave the $10 bill to the teacher.
 

Principal: Well, Ronald, I hear you missed the first day back to school.
Ronald: Yeah, but I didn't miss it very much.
 

 

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