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Squigly's School Jokes, Riddles and Knock Knock Jokes

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here is our funny collection of school jokes guaranteed to make you LOL! To see some new free jokes just refresh the page!

Blue dot Riddles Blue dot Christmas Jokes    
Blue dot Knock-Knock Jokes Blue dot Easter Jokes
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Elephant Jokes

   


Riddles

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Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A. Because the teacher told him to take a seat.

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Jokes

Teacher: If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took two, what would you get?
Billy: A fight!
 

A boy walked into his classroom late. "Why are you late?" the teacher asked.
"Because I saw a dead cat on the way to school," he said.
"How did you know it was dead?"
"I PSST in its ear."
"YOU DID WHAT!?"
"Yeah, I bent down and went PSST in its ear and it didn't move."
 

"Teacher, Teacher I need to pee!"
"Let me hear your ABC's."
"Okay, A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y and Z."
"Good job, except where is the P?"
"Halfway down my leg!"
 

Teacher: Take a seat!
Student: Take it where?
 

Mother: George, why does your geography exam have a big zero over it?
George: It is not a zero, Mum. The teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead!
 

Teacher: How many seconds in a minute?
Student: 60
Teacher: How many minutes in an hour?
Student: 60
Teacher: Good, now for a hard one, how many seconds in a year?
Student: 12
Teacher: 12?
Student: Yes, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...
 

Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it.
Student: If I had a sweater with ten buttons and two fell off, then I would only have to fascinate (fasten eight)!
 

A teacher once asked a boy, "Where is the Dead Sea?"
The boy replied, "Miss, I never knew it was sick."
 

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
 

There was a really dumb girl and she failed a test. Her teacher wanted her to come in after school and make it up. On the note home to her parents the teacher wrote: Make up test.
The following day the girl brought lipstick and eye shadow to school.
 

 

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