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School Jokes

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here is our funny collection of school jokes , school knock knock jokes and school riddles. They are guaranteed to make you LOL!


Riddles

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. Which bet can't be won?
A. Alphabet.

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Jokes

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your dad for another, how much would you have?
Boy: One dollar.
Teacher: Are you sure?
Boy: Yes, my dad wouldn't give me a dollar!
 

Invisible Boy's Mother: Why are your grades so low?
Invisible Boy: Because the teacher always marks me absent.
 

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: Me!
 

Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth?
Boy: I don't know?
Teacher: Think of the apple story.
Boy: I know, Granny Smith!
 

Mom: What did you learn on your first day of school?
Child: Not enough, they want me to come back tomorrow!
 

Joey: Little Joey can't come to school today.
Principal: Why?
Joey: He is sick
Principal: Who is this?
Joey: It's my dad.
 

Teacher: Take a seat!
Student: Take it where?
 

Teacher: Who is smart? Put up your hand.
Then all the students except Ken raise their hand.
Teacher: Ken, why aren't you raising your hand?
Ken: Because if I raise my hand than you'll be all alone.
 

A boy came home from school. "How much did you learn in school today?" His mother asked.
"Not enough, I have to go back again tomorrow."
 

There was a really dumb girl and she failed a test. Her teacher wanted her to come in after school and make it up. On the note home to her parents the teacher wrote: Make up test.
The following day the girl brought lipstick and eye shadow to school.
 

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