Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!
Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!
Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!
Q. What tools do you need for math?
Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.
Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.
Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.
Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.
Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.
Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!
Q. What do you do with dead elements?
Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.
Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.
Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!
Q. Where do pencils come from?
Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.
Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!
Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.
Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!
Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"
Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.
Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"
Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.
Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.
Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.
Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !
Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!
Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.
Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!
Canoe help me with my homework?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?
Orange you glad we are out of school?
Just in time for school!
Once there was a boy who needed to do his home work. His homework was to write down his family's favourite words.
So when he got home he asked his mom who was listening to the radio, "What is your favourite word mom?"
"Shut up!" So he wrote that down.
Then he went to his dad who was watching football and his favourite team had just scored a goal, so the little boy asked his dad,"What is your favourite word dad?"
"Yeah!" So he wrote that down.
Next he went to his big sister and he asked her, "What is your favourite word?"
She was listening to her favourite CD and said, "A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop." So he wrote that down.
Next he went to his brother. He was watching the end of Batman, he asked him, "What is your favourite word?"
"Nananananananana Batman!" so he wrote that down.
Then he went to his baby sister who was playing with her cars. So he asked her, "What is your favourite word?"
"Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car." So he wrote that down.
The next day at school, the teacher asked him to share his homework with the class
He said, "Shut up!"
The teacher said, "Do you want to go to the principal's office?"
"What do you think you deserve?"
"A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop."
"Who do you think you are?"
"What do you think you are going to get away with?"
"Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car."