Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.
Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.
Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!
Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"
Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.
Q. What tools do you need for math?
Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!
Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.
Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!
Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!
Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!
Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!
Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!
Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.
Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.
Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.
Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"
Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!
Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"
Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!
Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.
Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.
Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.
Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.
Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.
Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!
Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!
Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!
Orange you glad we are out of school?
Just in time for school!
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?
A small boy is asked to find out what the first 4 letters of the alphabet are for his homework.
"Mum, what's the first letter of the alphabet?"
"Shut up and go away," she replied.
The boy went to his dad. "Dad, what's the second letter of the alphabet?"
"YYYYEEEAAAHHH!!!" The boy's dad roared; football was on the TV and his team had scored.
"Brother, what is the third letter of the alphabet?" The boy asked his brother, who was playing with his action men.
"Action Man, the greatest hero of them all!" He cried.
"Sister, what is the fourth letter of the alphabet?" The boy's sister was playing with her Barbie dolls.
"Drive away in the Barbie car, beep, beep!" The boy's sister sang.
The next day in school the teacher asked the boy what the first letter was.
"Shut up and go away!" He replied.
"Do you want to see the head teacher?" Teacher yells.
The boy is sent to the head teacher.
"Who do you think you are?" The headmaster shouts in his face.
"Action Man, the greatest hero of them all!"
"How do you think you're going to get away with this?"
"Drive away in the Barbie car, beep, beep!"