Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!
Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!
Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!
Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."
Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.
Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.
Q. Where do pencils come from?
Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.
Q. What tools do you need for math?
Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!
Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.
Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.
Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.
Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"
Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!
Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."
Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"
Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!
Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).
Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.
Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.
Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.
Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!
Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!
Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.
Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.
Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"
Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.
Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.
Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!
Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.
Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!
Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!
Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."
Q. What do you do with dead elements?
Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!
Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!
Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!
Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"
Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!
Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.
Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.
Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!
Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.
Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!
Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"
Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!
Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.