Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!
Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.
Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.
Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!
Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!
Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!
Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.
Q. What do you do with dead elements?
Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.
Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.
Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.
Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.
Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!
Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!
Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!
Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.
Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."
Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.
Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.
Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!
Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.
Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!
Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!
Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!
Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!
Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.
Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.
Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."
Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).
Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.
Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!
Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.
Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!
Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"
Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!
Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"
Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"
Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!
Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!
Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."
Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!
Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.
Q. Where do pencils come from?
Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.
Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.
Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.
Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!
Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"
Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.