Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: School

School Jokes

Funny back to school jokes and riddles for kids, by kids!

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about school. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these school jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A. A synonym roll.

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A. To stay in shape!

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!

Q. Which bet can't be won?
A. Alphabet.

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Jokes

Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Simon: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
 

Student: The brain is a wonderful thing.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Student: Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!
 

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: Me!
 

When Dad came home he was astonished to see Alec sitting on a horse writing something. "What on earth are you doing up there?" Dad asked.
"Well the teacher told us to write an essay on our favourite animal. That's why I'm up here and sitting on the goldfish bowl!"
 

Teacher: Have you completed the work at home?
Student: No, sir.
Teacher (angrily): Why?
Student: Because my father has hired servants to do the work at home.
 

Teacher: What is the purpose of having school?
Student: Without school, there wouldn't be a reason for holidays and summer vacation.
 

A teacher said to a student could you count to ten for me. This is what the kid said: "1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 10."
The teacher asked, "Where is 9."
"7 ate 9," said the student matter-of-factly.
 

Teacher: Order children, order!
Student 1: I want a burger!
Student 2: I want chocolate ice cream!
Student 3: I want Lasagne!
Teacher: Sheesh!
Students: (laughing) Sorry!!!
 

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your dad for another, how much would you have?
Boy: One dollar.
Teacher: Are you sure?
Boy: Yes, my dad wouldn't give me a dollar!
 

A boy walked into his classroom late. "Why are you late?" the teacher asked.
"Because I saw a dead cat on the way to school," he said.
"How did you know it was dead?"
"I PSST in its ear."
"YOU DID WHAT!?"
"Yeah, I bent down and went PSST in its ear and it didn't move."
 

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