Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: School

School Jokes

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about school. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these school jokes will make you LOL! :D


Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A. To stay in shape!

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?


Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with I.
Millie: I is...
Teacher: No, Millie. Always say I am.
Millie: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Mom: Why aren't you doing well in history?
Child: Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!

Teacher: What is the purpose of having school?
Student: Without school, there wouldn't be a reason for holidays and summer vacation.

There was a kid named Joey and he couldn't add, so when they had a test on addition he copied off John's paper. When he was finished with the test his teacher said: Joey why did you copy off John's paper?
Joey: I didn't.
Teacher: Yes you did.
Joey: How did you know?
Teacher: I knew because when John wrote, "I don't know," on question #6, you wrote, "me neither."

When Dad came home he was astonished to see Alec sitting on a horse writing something. "What on earth are you doing up there?" Dad asked.
"Well the teacher told us to write an essay on our favourite animal. That's why I'm up here and sitting on the goldfish bowl!"

Student: The brain is a wonderful thing.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Student: Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!

Teacher: Joey, I thought I told you to stand at the END of the line!
Joey: I tried, but someone was already standing there!

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: Me!

Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today.
Mom: That's wonderful! What did you get a hundred in?
Stevie: In two things: I got forty in reading and sixty in spelling.

A teacher asked her first grade class to bring their birth certificates to class. When the time came to give them to her, David stood up and said very politely, "Teacher, I forgot my excuse for being born."

To see some more school jokes just reload the page!

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