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Squigly's School Jokes, Riddles and Knock Knock Jokes

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here is our funny collection of school jokes guaranteed to make you LOL! To see some new free jokes just refresh the page!

Blue dot Riddles Blue dot Christmas Jokes    
Blue dot Knock-Knock Jokes Blue dot Easter Jokes
Blue dot Jokes Blue dot Halloween Jokes
Blue dot Chicken Jokes Blue dot School Jokes
Blue dot

Elephant Jokes

   


Riddles

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. Where do pencils come from?

A. Pennsylvania.

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Jokes

Teacher: Have you completed the work at home?
Student: No, sir.
Teacher (angrily): Why?
Student: Because my father has hired servants to do the work at home.
 

Mother: George, why does your geography exam have a big zero over it?
George: It is not a zero, Mum. The teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead!
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

Principal: Well, Ronald, I hear you missed the first day back to school.
Ronald: Yeah, but I didn't miss it very much.
 

It was the first day of school and the teacher asked all the troublemakers to stand up. Finally this girl stood up and the teacher asked, "Are you a troublemaker?"
The girl said, "No." The teacher asked why she was standing and the girl said, "You looked lonely."
 

A teacher said to his students, "Give me a sentence with lettuce."
The students said, "Lettuce out of school early!"
 

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand?
 

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: Me!
 

A teacher asked a girl, "How was the Red Sea formed?"
The girl said, "Sorry Miss, I don't know who painted it."
 

A teacher once asked a boy, "Where is the Dead Sea?"
The boy replied, "Miss, I never knew it was sick."
 

 

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