Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: School

School Jokes

Funny back to school jokes and riddles for kids, by kids!

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about school. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these school jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. Where do pencils come from?
A. Pennsylvania.

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.

Q. Which bet can't be won?
A. Alphabet.

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Jokes

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an I. Always put 'am' after an I.
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
 

Principal: Well, Ronald, I hear you missed the first day back to school.
Ronald: Yeah, but I didn't miss it very much.
 

There was a really dumb girl and she failed a test. Her teacher wanted her to come in after school and make it up. On the note home to her parents the teacher wrote: Make up test.
The following day the girl brought lipstick and eye shadow to school.
 

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand?
 

Student: Teacher, Teacher!
Teacher: Yes?
Student: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: After you recite the alphabet.
Student: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z!
Teacher: Where did the P go?
Student: It's running down my leg!
 

A boy came home from school. "How much did you learn in school today?" His mother asked.
"Not enough, I have to go back again tomorrow."
 

If teachers are so smart then why are they in school?
 

A teacher asked a girl, "How was the Red Sea formed?"
The girl said, "Sorry Miss, I don't know who painted it."
 

A small boy is asked to find out what the first 4 letters of the alphabet are for his homework.
"Mum, what's the first letter of the alphabet?"
"Shut up and go away," she replied.
The boy went to his dad. "Dad, what's the second letter of the alphabet?"
"YYYYEEEAAAHHH!!!" The boy's dad roared; football was on the TV and his team had scored.
"Brother, what is the third letter of the alphabet?" The boy asked his brother, who was playing with his action men.
"Action Man, the greatest hero of them all!" He cried.
"Sister, what is the fourth letter of the alphabet?" The boy's sister was playing with her Barbie dolls.
"Drive away in the Barbie car, beep, beep!" The boy's sister sang.

The next day in school the teacher asked the boy what the first letter was.
"Shut up and go away!" He replied.
"Do you want to see the head teacher?" Teacher yells.
"YEAH!!"
The boy is sent to the head teacher.
"Who do you think you are?" The headmaster shouts in his face.
"Action Man, the greatest hero of them all!"
"How do you think you're going to get away with this?"
"Drive away in the Barbie car, beep, beep!"
 

Teacher: Have you completed the work at home?
Student: No, sir.
Teacher (angrily): Why?
Student: Because my father has hired servants to do the work at home.
 

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