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School Jokes

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here is our funny collection of school jokes , school knock knock jokes and school riddles. They are guaranteed to make you LOL!


Riddles

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Jokes

Now I lay my head to rest
A pile of books upon my chest
If I shall die before I wake
That's one less test I have to take.
 

Dear Teacher,

Roses are red
Voilets aren't gray
I give you this card
Now give me an A
From Jimmy
 

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: Me!
 

Teacher: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
Glen: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach.
Kelly: You mean she is really nice?
Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
 

A teacher asked her first grade class to bring their birth certificates to class. When the time came to give them to her, David stood up and said very politely, "Teacher, I forgot my excuse for being born."
 

If teachers are so smart then why are they in school?
 

Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with I.
Millie: I is...
Teacher: No, Millie. Always say I am.
Millie: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
 

Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today.
Mom: That's wonderful! What did you get a hundred in?
Stevie: In two things: I got forty in reading and sixty in spelling.
 

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