Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: School

School Jokes

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about school. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these school jokes will make you LOL! :D


Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A. Because the teacher told him to take a seat.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?


Student asking his teacher: Do you punish people for things they don't do?
Teacher: No.
Student: Good, because I haven't done my homework today.

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!

Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: Maria.

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand?

The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present.
The student: I walk. You walk, ..
The teacher interrupts him: Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run.

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your dad for another, how much would you have?
Boy: One dollar.
Teacher: Are you sure?
Boy: Yes, my dad wouldn't give me a dollar!

Teacher: Joe, can you name two pronouns?
Joe just waking up: Who, me?

A teacher asked a boy a question after she had read her lesson. The boy just held his ears and shut his mouth
"Why are you not giving me any answer?"
"Because what ever you taught me goes in my ears and if I open my mouth, I will forget everything you said."

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an I. Always put 'am' after an I.
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Student: The brain is a wonderful thing.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Student: Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!

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