Squigly Jokes and Riddles

School Jokes

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here is our funny collection of school jokes , school knock knock jokes and school riddles. They are guaranteed to make you LOL!


Riddles

Q. Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A. Because the teacher told him to take a seat.

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!

Q. Where do pencils come from?

A. Pennsylvania.

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A. To stay in shape!

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Jokes

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
 

"Explain the theory of expansion and contraction," the teacher asked one of the pupils.
"A substance expands when it is heated and contracts when it is cooled."
"No wonder we have a long vacation in summer and a short one in winter," remarked another pupil.
 

Mom: What did you learn on your first day of school?
Child: Not enough, they want me to come back tomorrow!
 

Teacher: Who is smart? Put up your hand.
Then all the students except Ken raise their hand.
Teacher: Ken, why aren't you raising your hand?
Ken: Because if I raise my hand than you'll be all alone.
 

A teacher said to a student could you count to ten for me. This is what the kid said: "1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 10."
The teacher asked, "Where is 9."
"7 ate 9," said the student matter-of-factly.
 

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the classroom. The teacher asked why are you arguing. One of the boys said, "We found a $10 bill and decided to give it to the person who tells the biggest lie."
The teacher said, "You should be ashamed of yourselves. When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie meant."
The two boys gave the $10 bill to the teacher.
 

A teacher says to a student, "I thought I told you to go to the back of the line?"
The student says, "I did, but someone was there!"
 

Principal: Well, Ronald, I hear you missed the first day back to school.
Ronald: Yeah, but I didn't miss it very much.
 

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.
 

A teacher once asked a boy, "Where is the Dead Sea?"
The boy replied, "Miss, I never knew it was sick."
 

To see some more school jokes just reload the page!

Riddles | Knock-Knock Jokes | Jokes
Animal Jokes | Banana Jokes | Cat Jokes | Chicken Jokes | Computer Jokes | Dinosaur Jokes
Doctor Jokes | Dog Jokes | Elephant Jokes | Food Jokes | Insect Jokes | Movie Jokes
Music Jokes | Outer Space Jokes | School Jokes | Sports Jokes
Christmas Jokes | Easter Jokes | Halloween Jokes | St. Patrick's Day Jokes | Valentine Jokes

Find us on Facebook! Find us on Facebook at: Squigly's Playhouse   Find us on Twitter Find us on Twitter @Squiglys

... more Back to School fun.

Play fun games online.
Games
Crafts
Crafts
Read jokes and riddles sent in by Squigly's friends.
Jokes
Pencil Puzzles
Pencil Puzzles
Coloring Pages
Coloring Pages
Brain Teasers
Brain Teasers
Mad Libs
Mad Libs
Seasons & Holidays
Seasons & Holidays
Home Privacy Policy Copyright © 1998- Barb Willner. All rights reserved. Contact Squigly Site Map