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Squigly's School Jokes, Riddles and Knock Knock Jokes

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here is our funny collection of school jokes guaranteed to make you LOL! To see some new free jokes just refresh the page!

Blue dot Riddles Blue dot Christmas Jokes    
Blue dot Knock-Knock Jokes Blue dot Easter Jokes
Blue dot Jokes Blue dot Halloween Jokes
Blue dot Chicken Jokes Blue dot School Jokes
Blue dot

Elephant Jokes

   


Riddles

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Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A. Because she thought it was a high school.

Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Jokes

Mom: What did you learn on your first day of school?
Child: Not enough, they want me to come back tomorrow!
 

Once there was a boy who needed to do his home work. His homework was to write down his family's favourite words.
So when he got home he asked his mom who was listening to the radio, "What is your favourite word mom?"
"Shut up!" So he wrote that down.
Then he went to his dad who was watching football and his favourite team had just scored a goal, so the little boy asked his dad,"What is your favourite word dad?"
"Yeah!" So he wrote that down.
Next he went to his big sister and he asked her, "What is your favourite word?"
She was listening to her favourite CD and said, "A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop." So he wrote that down.
Next he went to his brother. He was watching the end of Batman, he asked him, "What is your favourite word?"
"Nananananananana Batman!" so he wrote that down.
Then he went to his baby sister who was playing with her cars. So he asked her, "What is your favourite word?"
"Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car." So he wrote that down.
The next day at school, the teacher asked him to share his homework with the class
He said, "Shut up!"
The teacher said, "Do you want to go to the principal's office?"
"Yeah!"
"What do you think you deserve?"
"A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop."
"Who do you think you are?"
"Nananananananana Batman!"
"What do you think you are going to get away with?"
"Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car."
 

Invisible Boy's Mother: Why are your grades so low?
Invisible Boy: Because the teacher always marks me absent.
 

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the classroom. The teacher asked why are you arguing. One of the boys said, "We found a $10 bill and decided to give it to the person who tells the biggest lie."
The teacher said, "You should be ashamed of yourselves. When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie meant."
The two boys gave the $10 bill to the teacher.
 

Joey: Little Joey can't come to school today.
Principal: Why?
Joey: He is sick
Principal: Who is this?
Joey: It's my dad.
 

Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Student: That's not fair! You answered the easy ones and left me with the hard one!
 

A teacher said to his students, "Give me a sentence with lettuce."
The students said, "Lettuce out of school early!"
 

Teacher: What is the purpose of having school?
Student: Without school, there wouldn't be a reason for holidays and summer vacation.
 

Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher.
 

Art teacher: Mimi, I told the class to draw a horse and cart, but you have only drawn a horse!
Mimi: Yes sir, the horse will draw the cart!
 

 

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