Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: School

School Jokes

Funny back to school jokes and riddles for kids, by kids!

Why were the kids laughing on their first day of school? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about going and being back at school. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these BTS jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A. Because she thought it was a high school.

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Jokes

Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.
 

Teacher: Have you completed the work at home?
Student: No, sir.
Teacher (angrily): Why?
Student: Because my father has hired servants to do the work at home.
 

Now I lay my head to rest
A pile of books upon my chest
If I shall die before I wake
That's one less test I have to take.
 

A teacher asked a girl, "How was the Red Sea formed?"
The girl said, "Sorry Miss, I don't know who painted it."
 

Shelly: Our teacher is a peach.
Kelly: You mean she is really nice?
Shelly: No, she has a heart of stone.
 

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!
 

Mom: What did you learn on your first day of school?
Child: Not enough, they want me to come back tomorrow!
 

Teacher: Joey, I thought I told you to stand at the END of the line!
Joey: I tried, but someone was already standing there!
 

There was a really dumb girl and she failed a test. Her teacher wanted her to come in after school and make it up. On the note home to her parents the teacher wrote: Make up test.
The following day the girl brought lipstick and eye shadow to school.
 

Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing?
Johnny: Nothing, sir.
Headmaster: Exactly.
 

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