Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: School

School Jokes

Funny back to school jokes and riddles for kids, by kids!

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about school. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these school jokes will make you LOL! :D


Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.

Q. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A. To stay in shape!

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin who?
Just in time for school!


It was the first day of school and the teacher asked all the troublemakers to stand up. Finally this girl stood up and the teacher asked, "Are you a troublemaker?"
The girl said, "No." The teacher asked why she was standing and the girl said, "You looked lonely."

Dear Teacher,

Roses are red
Voilets aren't gray
I give you this card
Now give me an A
From Jimmy

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an I. Always put 'am' after an I.
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

A teacher asked her first grade class to bring their birth certificates to class. When the time came to give them to her, David stood up and said very politely, "Teacher, I forgot my excuse for being born."

Mother: George, why does your geography exam have a big zero over it?
George: It is not a zero, Mum. The teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead!

Student asking his teacher: Do you punish people for things they don't do?
Teacher: No.
Student: Good, because I haven't done my homework today.

Mom: What did you learn on your first day of school?
Child: Not enough, they want me to come back tomorrow!

If teachers are so smart then why are they in school?

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: Me!

A teacher asked a boy a question after she had read her lesson. The boy just held his ears and shut his mouth
"Why are you not giving me any answer?"
"Because what ever you taught me goes in my ears and if I open my mouth, I will forget everything you said."

To see some more school jokes just reload the page!

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