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Squigly's School Jokes, Riddles and Knock Knock Jokes

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here is our funny collection of school jokes guaranteed to make you LOL! To see some new free jokes just refresh the page!

Blue dot Riddles Blue dot Christmas Jokes    
Blue dot Knock-Knock Jokes Blue dot Easter Jokes
Blue dot Jokes Blue dot Halloween Jokes
Blue dot Chicken Jokes Blue dot School Jokes
Blue dot

Elephant Jokes

   


Riddles

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Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. Where do pencils come from?

A. Pennsylvania.

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A. Because she thought it was a high school.

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Jokes

Once there was a boy who needed to do his home work. His homework was to write down his family's favourite words.
So when he got home he asked his mom who was listening to the radio, "What is your favourite word mom?"
"Shut up!" So he wrote that down.
Then he went to his dad who was watching football and his favourite team had just scored a goal, so the little boy asked his dad,"What is your favourite word dad?"
"Yeah!" So he wrote that down.
Next he went to his big sister and he asked her, "What is your favourite word?"
She was listening to her favourite CD and said, "A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop." So he wrote that down.
Next he went to his brother. He was watching the end of Batman, he asked him, "What is your favourite word?"
"Nananananananana Batman!" so he wrote that down.
Then he went to his baby sister who was playing with her cars. So he asked her, "What is your favourite word?"
"Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car." So he wrote that down.
The next day at school, the teacher asked him to share his homework with the class
He said, "Shut up!"
The teacher said, "Do you want to go to the principal's office?"
"Yeah!"
"What do you think you deserve?"
"A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop."
"Who do you think you are?"
"Nananananananana Batman!"
"What do you think you are going to get away with?"
"Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car."
 

Teacher: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
Glen: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

A teacher asked a girl, "How was the Red Sea formed?"
The girl said, "Sorry Miss, I don't know who painted it."
 

Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it.
Student: If I had a sweater with ten buttons and two fell off, then I would only have to fascinate (fasten eight)!
 

A teacher said, "Children, stand in a straight circle!"
 

Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: Maria.
 

"Teacher, Teacher I need to pee!"
"Let me hear your ABC's."
"Okay, A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y and Z."
"Good job, except where is the P?"
"Halfway down my leg!"
 

A boy walked into his classroom late. "Why are you late?" the teacher asked.
"Because I saw a dead cat on the way to school," he said.
"How did you know it was dead?"
"I PSST in its ear."
"YOU DID WHAT!?"
"Yeah, I bent down and went PSST in its ear and it didn't move."
 

Art teacher: Mimi, I told the class to draw a horse and cart, but you have only drawn a horse!
Mimi: Yes sir, the horse will draw the cart!
 

 

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