Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: School

School Jokes

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about school. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these school jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A. To stay in shape!

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Jokes

Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing?
Johnny: Nothing, sir.
Headmaster: Exactly.
 

Teacher: Joey, I thought I told you to stand at the END of the line!
Joey: I tried, but someone was already standing there!
 

A teacher said to a student could you count to ten for me. This is what the kid said: "1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 10."
The teacher asked, "Where is 9."
"7 ate 9," said the student matter-of-factly.
 

A boy showed his mom his report card and said, "Mom I'm 3rd in my class."
The mom said, "Good job!"
Then the boy said, "But there are only three boys in my class!"
 

A teacher once asked a boy, "Where is the Dead Sea?"
The boy replied, "Miss, I never knew it was sick."
 

A teacher said, "Children, stand in a straight circle!"
 

Once there was a boy who needed to do his home work. His homework was to write down his family's favourite words.
So when he got home he asked his mom who was listening to the radio, "What is your favourite word mom?"
"Shut up!" So he wrote that down.
Then he went to his dad who was watching football and his favourite team had just scored a goal, so the little boy asked his dad,"What is your favourite word dad?"
"Yeah!" So he wrote that down.
Next he went to his big sister and he asked her, "What is your favourite word?"
She was listening to her favourite CD and said, "A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop." So he wrote that down.
Next he went to his brother. He was watching the end of Batman, he asked him, "What is your favourite word?"
"Nananananananana Batman!" so he wrote that down.
Then he went to his baby sister who was playing with her cars. So he asked her, "What is your favourite word?"
"Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car." So he wrote that down.
The next day at school, the teacher asked him to share his homework with the class
He said, "Shut up!"
The teacher said, "Do you want to go to the principal's office?"
"Yeah!"
"What do you think you deserve?"
"A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop."
"Who do you think you are?"
"Nananananananana Batman!"
"What do you think you are going to get away with?"
"Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car."
 

Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today.
Mom: That's wonderful! What did you get a hundred in?
Stevie: In two things: I got forty in reading and sixty in spelling.
 

Joey: Little Joey can't come to school today.
Principal: Why?
Joey: He is sick
Principal: Who is this?
Joey: It's my dad.
 

Teacher: How many seconds in a minute?
Student: 60
Teacher: How many minutes in an hour?
Student: 60
Teacher: Good, now for a hard one, how many seconds in a year?
Student: 12
Teacher: 12?
Student: Yes, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...
 

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