Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: School

School Jokes

Funny back to school jokes and riddles for kids, by kids!

Why were the kids laughing on their first day of school? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about going and being back at school. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these BTS jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.

Q. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A. Because she thought it was a high school.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.

Q. Where do pencils come from?
A. Pennsylvania.

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Jokes

"Explain the theory of expansion and contraction," the teacher asked one of the pupils.
"A substance expands when it is heated and contracts when it is cooled."
"No wonder we have a long vacation in summer and a short one in winter," remarked another pupil.
 

Teacher: Order children, order!
Student 1: I want a burger!
Student 2: I want chocolate ice cream!
Student 3: I want Lasagne!
Teacher: Sheesh!
Students: (laughing) Sorry!!!
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

A boy showed his mom his report card and said, "Mom I'm 3rd in my class."
The mom said, "Good job!"
Then the boy said, "But there are only three boys in my class!"
 

Teacher: Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?
Nick: What do you think it is, Sir?
Teacher: I don't think, I KNOW!
Nick: I don't think I know either, Sir!
 

Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth?
Boy: I don't know?
Teacher: Think of the apple story.
Boy: I know, Granny Smith!
 

A teacher said to a student could you count to ten for me. This is what the kid said: "1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 10."
The teacher asked, "Where is 9."
"7 ate 9," said the student matter-of-factly.
 

A teacher says to a student, "I thought I told you to go to the back of the line?"
The student says, "I did, but someone was there!"
 

A teacher once asked a boy, "Where is the Dead Sea?"
The boy replied, "Miss, I never knew it was sick."
 

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!
 

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