# School Jokes

Why were the kids laughing on their first day of school? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about going and being back at school. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these BTS jokes will make you LOL! :D

## Riddles

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A. Because the teacher told him to take a seat.

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. What do you need to go to high school?

Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A. To stay in shape!

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

## Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

## Jokes

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.

A boy came home from school. "How much did you learn in school today?" His mother asked.
"Not enough, I have to go back again tomorrow."

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an I. Always put 'am' after an I.
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Teacher: How do you spell Mississippi?
George: The state or the river?

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"

A teacher asked her first grade class to bring their birth certificates to class. When the time came to give them to her, David stood up and said very politely, "Teacher, I forgot my excuse for being born."

A teacher says to a student, "I thought I told you to go to the back of the line?"
The student says, "I did, but someone was there!"

Student asking his teacher: Do you punish people for things they don't do?
Teacher: No.
Student: Good, because I haven't done my homework today.

Teacher: Fred, the story you handed in called "Our Dog," is exactly like your brother's.
Fred: Of course. It's the same dog.

Art teacher: Mimi, I told the class to draw a horse and cart, but you have only drawn a horse!
Mimi: Yes sir, the horse will draw the cart!

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