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School Jokes

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here is our funny collection of school jokes , school knock knock jokes and school riddles. They are guaranteed to make you LOL!


Riddles

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Jokes

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand?
 

Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher.
 

Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Student: That's not fair! You answered the easy ones and left me with the hard one!
 

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an I. Always put 'am' after an I.
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
 

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: Me!
 

If teachers are so smart then why are they in school?
 

A teacher asked a girl, "How was the Red Sea formed?"
The girl said, "Sorry Miss, I don't know who painted it."
 

Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it?
Student: Obviously it is the past tense.
 

Principal: Well, Ronald, I hear you missed the first day back to school.
Ronald: Yeah, but I didn't miss it very much.
 

Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Simon: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
 

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