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School Jokes

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here is our funny collection of school jokes , school knock knock jokes and school riddles. They are guaranteed to make you LOL!


Riddles

Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Jokes

Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with I.
Millie: I is...
Teacher: No, Millie. Always say I am.
Millie: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
 

Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it.
Student: If I had a sweater with ten buttons and two fell off, then I would only have to fascinate (fasten eight)!
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.
Socks can eat anywhere they want.
 

Dad: Why is your test score so low?
Girl: Because of absence.
Dad: You were absent?
Girl: No, the girl next to me was.
 

A teacher said to a student could you count to ten for me. This is what the kid said: "1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 10."
The teacher asked, "Where is 9."
"7 ate 9," said the student matter-of-factly.
 

Student: Teacher, Teacher!
Teacher: Yes?
Student: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: After you recite the alphabet.
Student: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z!
Teacher: Where did the P go?
Student: It's running down my leg!
 

Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Student: That's not fair! You answered the easy ones and left me with the hard one!
 

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.
 

Joey: Little Joey can't come to school today.
Principal: Why?
Joey: He is sick
Principal: Who is this?
Joey: It's my dad.
 

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