Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about school. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these school jokes will make you LOL! :D
Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.
Q. Where do pencils come from?
Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.
Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.
Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!
Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.
Q. What tools do you need for math?
Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!
Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!
Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.
Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"
Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!
Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!
Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!
Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"
Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."
Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.
Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.
Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.
Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !
Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.
Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!
Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.
Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!
Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).
Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.
Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!
Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"
Knock Knock Jokes
Orange you glad we are out of school?
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!
Canoe help me with my homework?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?
Just in time for school!
A teacher asked a girl, "How was the Red Sea formed?"
The girl said, "Sorry Miss, I don't know who painted it."
There was a really dumb girl and she failed a test. Her teacher wanted her to come in after school and make it up. On the note home to her parents the teacher wrote: Make up test.
The following day the girl brought lipstick and eye shadow to school.
Art teacher: Mimi, I told the class to draw a horse and cart, but you have only drawn a horse!
Mimi: Yes sir, the horse will draw the cart!
Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.
Socks can eat anywhere they want.
Mom: Why aren't you doing well in history?
Child: Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!
The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present.
The student: I walk. You walk, ..
The teacher interrupts him: Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run.
Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Student: That's not fair! You answered the easy ones and left me with the hard one!
A teacher said, "Children, stand in a straight circle!"
Once there was a boy who needed to do his home work. His homework was to write down his family's favourite words.
So when he got home he asked his mom who was listening to the radio, "What is your favourite word mom?"
"Shut up!" So he wrote that down.
Then he went to his dad who was watching football and his favourite team had just scored a goal, so the little boy asked his dad,"What is your favourite word dad?"
"Yeah!" So he wrote that down.
Next he went to his big sister and he asked her, "What is your favourite word?"
She was listening to her favourite CD and said, "A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop." So he wrote that down.
Next he went to his brother. He was watching the end of Batman, he asked him, "What is your favourite word?"
"Nananananananana Batman!" so he wrote that down.
Then he went to his baby sister who was playing with her cars. So he asked her, "What is your favourite word?"
"Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car." So he wrote that down.
The next day at school, the teacher asked him to share his homework with the class
He said, "Shut up!"
The teacher said, "Do you want to go to the principal's office?"
"What do you think you deserve?"
"A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop."
"Who do you think you are?"
"What do you think you are going to get away with?"
"Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car."
"Teacher, Teacher I need to pee!"
"Let me hear your ABC's."
"Okay, A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y and Z."
"Good job, except where is the P?"
"Halfway down my leg!"
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... more Back to School fun.
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