Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: School

School Jokes

Funny back to school jokes and riddles for kids, by kids!

Why were the kids laughing on their first day of school? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about going and being back at school. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these BTS jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A. To stay in shape!

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.

Q. Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A. Because the teacher told him to take a seat.

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Jokes

A boy was told to write a 100 word essay. He thought for a bit then started. 'I went out to call my cat in for the night, so I called 'kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty...'
 

Headmaster: I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing?
Johnny: Nothing, sir.
Headmaster: Exactly.
 

Dad: Why is your test score so low?
Girl: Because of absence.
Dad: You were absent?
Girl: No, the girl next to me was.
 

Teacher: Have you completed the work at home?
Student: No, sir.
Teacher (angrily): Why?
Student: Because my father has hired servants to do the work at home.
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, sir. It's the same dog.
 

A small boy is asked to find out what the first 4 letters of the alphabet are for his homework.
"Mum, what's the first letter of the alphabet?"
"Shut up and go away," she replied.
The boy went to his dad. "Dad, what's the second letter of the alphabet?"
"YYYYEEEAAAHHH!!!" The boy's dad roared; football was on the TV and his team had scored.
"Brother, what is the third letter of the alphabet?" The boy asked his brother, who was playing with his action men.
"Action Man, the greatest hero of them all!" He cried.
"Sister, what is the fourth letter of the alphabet?" The boy's sister was playing with her Barbie dolls.
"Drive away in the Barbie car, beep, beep!" The boy's sister sang.

The next day in school the teacher asked the boy what the first letter was.
"Shut up and go away!" He replied.
"Do you want to see the head teacher?" Teacher yells.
"YEAH!!"
The boy is sent to the head teacher.
"Who do you think you are?" The headmaster shouts in his face.
"Action Man, the greatest hero of them all!"
"How do you think you're going to get away with this?"
"Drive away in the Barbie car, beep, beep!"
 

Teacher: Fred, the story you handed in called "Our Dog," is exactly like your brother's.
Fred: Of course. It's the same dog.
 

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.
 

Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it.
Student: If I had a sweater with ten buttons and two fell off, then I would only have to fascinate (fasten eight)!
 

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