Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!
Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !
Q. Where do pencils come from?
Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.
Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.
Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!
Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).
Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!
Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!
Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!
Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!
Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.
Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.
Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.
Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.
Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.
Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!
Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.
Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.
Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"
Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!
Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.
Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!
Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!
Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
Q. Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A. Because the teacher told him to take a seat.
Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!
Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!
Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!
Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!
Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.
Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!
Q. What do you do with dead elements?
Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!
Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.
Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.
Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!
Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.
Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.
Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"
Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!
Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.
Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.
Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.
Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!
Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.
Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.
Q. What tools do you need for math?