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School Jokes

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here is our funny collection of school jokes , school knock knock jokes and school riddles. They are guaranteed to make you LOL!

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Elephant Jokes

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Blue dot Dog Jokes Blue Check Halloween Jokes

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Riddles

Play Cool Games!
Online Game: Math vs Monster: Decimals
Math vs Monster: Decimals
Online Game: Lovelicious
Lovelicious
Online Game: Link Link
Link Link
Online Game: Draw and Fly
Draw and Fly
Online Game: Ellen's Summer
Ellen's Summer
Online Game: Cave Brothers
Cave Brothers
…more cool games!

Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. Why did the students study in the aeroplane?
A. Because they wanted higher grades.

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Jokes

Teacher: Joe, can you name two pronouns?
Joe just waking up: Who, me?
 

Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it.
Student: If I had a sweater with ten buttons and two fell off, then I would only have to fascinate (fasten eight)!
 

A small boy is asked to find out what the first 4 letters of the alphabet are for his homework.
"Mum, what's the first letter of the alphabet?"
"Shut up and go away," she replied.
The boy went to his dad. "Dad, what's the second letter of the alphabet?"
"YYYYEEEAAAHHH!!!" The boy's dad roared; football was on the TV and his team had scored.
"Brother, what is the third letter of the alphabet?" The boy asked his brother, who was playing with his action men.
"Action Man, the greatest hero of them all!" He cried.
"Sister, what is the fourth letter of the alphabet?" The boy's sister was playing with her Barbie dolls.
"Drive away in the Barbie car, beep, beep!" The boy's sister sang.

The next day in school the teacher asked the boy what the first letter was.
"Shut up and go away!" He replied.
"Do you want to see the head teacher?" Teacher yells.
"YEAH!!"
The boy is sent to the head teacher.
"Who do you think you are?" The headmaster shouts in his face.
"Action Man, the greatest hero of them all!"
"How do you think you're going to get away with this?"
"Drive away in the Barbie car, beep, beep!"
 

Teacher: Take a seat!
Student: Take it where?
 

Teacher: If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took two, what would you get?
Billy: A fight!
 

If teachers are so smart then why are they in school?
 

Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: Maria.
 

Mom: What did you learn on your first day of school?
Child: Not enough, they want me to come back tomorrow!
 

Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher.
 

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an I. Always put 'am' after an I.
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
 

Riddles | Knock-Knock Jokes | Jokes
Animal Jokes | Banana Jokes | Cat Jokes | Chicken Jokes | Computer Jokes | Dinosaur Jokes
Doctor Jokes | Dog Jokes | Elephant Jokes | Food Jokes | Insect Jokes | Movie Jokes
Music Jokes | Outer Space Jokes | School Jokes | Sports Jokes
Christmas Jokes | Easter Jokes | Halloween Jokes

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