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School Jokes

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here is our funny collection of school jokes , school knock knock jokes and school riddles. They are guaranteed to make you LOL!

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Elephant Jokes

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Riddles

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Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A. Because the teacher told him to take a seat.

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Jokes

Teacher: Who is smart? Put up your hand.
Then all the students except Ken raise their hand.
Teacher: Ken, why aren't you raising your hand?
Ken: Because if I raise my hand than you'll be all alone.
 

A first grade teacher was telling her students the story of "Chicken Little." She got to the part when Chicken Little ran up to the Farmer saying, "The sky is falling. The sky is falling." Then the teacher paused and asked the kids what they thought the farmer said. One little girl raised her hand and the teacher called on her. The little girl then said, "I think the farmer said Holy cow, a talking chicken!"
 

Mother: George, why does your geography exam have a big zero over it?
George: It is not a zero, Mum. The teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead!
 

Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Simon: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
 

Teacher: Mark can you tell me what you would like to be in the future?
Mark: I'd like to be a billionaire and be famous.
Teacher: Interesting, what about you Esther.
Esther: I'd like to be Mark's wife!
 

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
 

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your dad for another, how much would you have?
Boy: One dollar.
Teacher: Are you sure?
Boy: Yes, my dad wouldn't give me a dollar!
 

Dad: Why is your test score so low?
Girl: Because of absence.
Dad: You were absent?
Girl: No, the girl next to me was.
 

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an I. Always put 'am' after an I.
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
 

The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present.
The student: I walk. You walk, ..
The teacher interrupts him: Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run.
 

Riddles | Knock-Knock Jokes | Jokes
Animal Jokes | Banana Jokes | Cat Jokes | Chicken Jokes | Computer Jokes | Dinosaur Jokes
Doctor Jokes | Dog Jokes | Elephant Jokes | Food Jokes | Insect Jokes | Movie Jokes
Music Jokes | Outer Space Jokes | School Jokes | Sports Jokes
Christmas Jokes | Easter Jokes | Halloween Jokes

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