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Squigly's School Jokes, Riddles and Knock Knock Jokes

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here is our funny collection of school jokes guaranteed to make you LOL! To see some new free jokes just refresh the page!

Blue dot Riddles Blue dot Christmas Jokes    
Blue dot Knock-Knock Jokes Blue dot Easter Jokes
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Blue dot

Elephant Jokes

   


Riddles

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Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.

Q. Where do pencils come from?

A. Pennsylvania.

Q. Why was the little bird punished?
A. It was caught peeping in school.

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
A. Pi!

Q. What do ducks use for math?
A. A QUACK-ulator !

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!

Q. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A. Because she thought it was a high school.

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
A. To test the water.

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.

Q. What did the bully have for lunch?
A. He had a knuckle sandwich!

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Jokes

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
 

"Teacher, Teacher I need to pee!"
"Let me hear your ABC's."
"Okay, A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y and Z."
"Good job, except where is the P?"
"Halfway down my leg!"
 

Teacher: How many seconds in a minute?
Student: 60
Teacher: How many minutes in an hour?
Student: 60
Teacher: Good, now for a hard one, how many seconds in a year?
Student: 12
Teacher: 12?
Student: Yes, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...
 

Once there was a boy who needed to do his home work. His homework was to write down his family's favourite words.
So when he got home he asked his mom who was listening to the radio, "What is your favourite word mom?"
"Shut up!" So he wrote that down.
Then he went to his dad who was watching football and his favourite team had just scored a goal, so the little boy asked his dad,"What is your favourite word dad?"
"Yeah!" So he wrote that down.
Next he went to his big sister and he asked her, "What is your favourite word?"
She was listening to her favourite CD and said, "A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop." So he wrote that down.
Next he went to his brother. He was watching the end of Batman, he asked him, "What is your favourite word?"
"Nananananananana Batman!" so he wrote that down.
Then he went to his baby sister who was playing with her cars. So he asked her, "What is your favourite word?"
"Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car." So he wrote that down.
The next day at school, the teacher asked him to share his homework with the class
He said, "Shut up!"
The teacher said, "Do you want to go to the principal's office?"
"Yeah!"
"What do you think you deserve?"
"A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop."
"Who do you think you are?"
"Nananananananana Batman!"
"What do you think you are going to get away with?"
"Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car."
 

Teacher: Order children, order!
Student 1: I want a burger!
Student 2: I want chocolate ice cream!
Student 3: I want Lasagne!
Teacher: Sheesh!
Students: (laughing) Sorry!!!
 

Student asking his teacher: Do you punish people for things they don't do?
Teacher: No.
Student: Good, because I haven't done my homework today.
 

Teacher: Who is smart? Put up your hand.
Then all the students except Ken raise their hand.
Teacher: Ken, why aren't you raising your hand?
Ken: Because if I raise my hand than you'll be all alone.
 

A teacher asked a boy a question after she had read her lesson. The boy just held his ears and shut his mouth
"Why are you not giving me any answer?"
"Because what ever you taught me goes in my ears and if I open my mouth, I will forget everything you said."
 

Teacher: Have you completed the work at home?
Student: No, sir.
Teacher (angrily): Why?
Student: Because my father has hired servants to do the work at home.
 

Teacher: If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took two, what would you get?
Billy: A fight!
 

 

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