Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: School

School Jokes

Funny back to school jokes and riddles for kids, by kids!

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about school. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these school jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. Why did the student bring scissors to class?
A. He wanted to cut class!

Q. Where do pencils come from?
A. Pennsylvania.

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?
A. "I can't control my pupils!"

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.

Q. What do you do with dead elements?
A. Barium!

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. Why was the math book unhappy?
A. Because he had too many problems!

Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.

Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. Which bet can't be won?
A. Alphabet.

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.

Q. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A. To stay in shape!

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Jokes

Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: Maria.
 

Teacher: Mark can you tell me what you would like to be in the future?
Mark: I'd like to be a billionaire and be famous.
Teacher: Interesting, what about you Esther.
Esther: I'd like to be Mark's wife!
 

Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.
 

Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!
 

Student: Teacher, Teacher!
Teacher: Yes?
Student: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: After you recite the alphabet.
Student: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z!
Teacher: Where did the P go?
Student: It's running down my leg!
 

Teacher: Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?
Nick: What do you think it is, Sir?
Teacher: I don't think, I KNOW!
Nick: I don't think I know either, Sir!
 

Teacher: Take a seat!
Student: Take it where?
 

Teacher: If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took two, what would you get?
Billy: A fight!
 

Teacher: Fred, the story you handed in called "Our Dog," is exactly like your brother's.
Fred: Of course. It's the same dog.
 

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell Crocodile?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
 

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