Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: School

School Jokes

Funny back to school jokes and riddles for kids, by kids!

Why were the kids laughing in the classroom? Because they were reading Squigly's Jokes and Riddles of course! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about school. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these school jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. Why did the boy study on an airplane?
A. He wanted to get a higher education.

Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"

Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"

Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.

Q. Which bet can't be won?
A. Alphabet.

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. Who invented King Arthur's round table?
A. Sir Cumference!

Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. What is a snake's favourite subject?
A. HISStory!

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. What do you need to go to high school?
A. A ladder.

Q. What did the student say to the math worksheet?
A. I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems!

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. Where do pencils come from?
A. Pennsylvania.

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. Where did the pencil go for vacation?
A. To Pennsylvania.

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. They use Pi-lots.

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Just in time for school!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad we are out of school?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?

Jokes

Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Student: That's not fair! You answered the easy ones and left me with the hard one!
 

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: Me!
 

Teacher: Fred, the story you handed in called "Our Dog," is exactly like your brother's.
Fred: Of course. It's the same dog.
 

Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful," which tense is it?
Student: Obviously it is the past tense.
 

Joey: Little Joey can't come to school today.
Principal: Why?
Joey: He is sick
Principal: Who is this?
Joey: It's my dad.
 

A boy walked into his classroom late. "Why are you late?" the teacher asked.
"Because I saw a dead cat on the way to school," he said.
"How did you know it was dead?"
"I PSST in its ear."
"YOU DID WHAT!?"
"Yeah, I bent down and went PSST in its ear and it didn't move."
 

If teachers are so smart then why are they in school?
 

There was a kid named Joey and he couldn't add, so when they had a test on addition he copied off John's paper. When he was finished with the test his teacher said: Joey why did you copy off John's paper?
Joey: I didn't.
Teacher: Yes you did.
Joey: How did you know?
Teacher: I knew because when John wrote, "I don't know," on question #6, you wrote, "me neither."
 

"Teacher, Teacher I need to pee!"
"Let me hear your ABC's."
"Okay, A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y and Z."
"Good job, except where is the P?"
"Halfway down my leg!"
 

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand?
 

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