Q. Why did the new boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A. Because the teacher told him to take a seat.
Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.
Q. What can you call a math teacher?
A. A ruler.
Q. What's the difference between a train and a teacher?
A. The teacher says, "Spit your gum out" and the train says, "Choo-choo!"
Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!
Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!
Q. Why did Jimmy's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!
Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.
Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.
Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.
Q. What is white when dirty and black when clean?
A. A blackboard.
Q. Why was the broom late for school?
A. He over swept.
Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.
Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!
Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.
Q. Why doesn't the sun go to college?
A. Because it has a million degrees!
Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.
Q. Where do birds go to school?
A. High school.
Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!
Q. What school teaches you to greet people?
A. High school.
Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"
Q. What becomes smaller when you turn it upside down?
A. The number nine.
Q. What do you do with dead elements?
Q. What object is king of the classroom?
A. The ruler!
Q. Where do pencils come from?
Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!
Q. What did the student say after the teacher said, "Order students, order?"
A. "Can I have fries and a burger?"
Q. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A. To stay in shape!
Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.
Orange you glad there is no school on Saturday?
Orange you glad we are out of school?
Just in time for school!
Broken pencil who?
Oh, never mind it's pointless!
Canoe help me with my homework?