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Squigly's Riddles

We've got lots of funny riddles and jokes for you! By refreshing this page you will get another batch of riddles that will be sure to make you LOL! :D
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Riddles

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Q. Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?
A. Fo'drizzle!

Q. What's the biggest type of moth?
A. A mammoth.

Q. Why can you never trust spiders?
A. Because they post stuff on the web.

Q. What's brown and blue and swings through the jungle?
A. A monkey wearing a denim jacket!

Q. What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
A. "You're way too young to smoke."

Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
A. Boo!

Q. Why did the strawberry cross the road?
A. Because his mom was in a jam!

Q. Why did the boy scream when he opened the fridge?
A. Because he saw the salad dressing.

Q. What time does a duck wake up?
A. At the QUACK of dawn.

Q. Why did the children eat their homework?
A. Because their teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. What do you call a musical insect?
A. A humbug.

Q. What kind of shoes do mice like?
A. Squeakers!

Q. Why can't a car play football?
A. Because its only got one boot.

Q. Where do New York City kids learn their multiplication tables?
A. Times Square.

Q. What does the pink panther do with his camera?
A. He takes PINKtures!

Q. If there was a spelling test, which animal would win?
A. The bee!

Q. Why did the frog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to show his girlfriend he had guts.

Q. What do you call a train full of toffee?
A. A chew-chew train!

Q. What do you call a bear who forgot his socks?
A. BEARfooted.

Q. What fish can help you build a house?
A. A hammerhead shark.

Q. What goes up but does not go down?
A. Your age!

Q. What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A. "I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand."

Q. Why did the turtle cross the street?
A. To get to the Shell station.

Q. There was a train with passengers inside. Suddenly the train crashed, where would the survivors be buried?
A. No where, they are the survivors!

Q. What is black, white and red all over?
A. An embarassed zebra!

Q. Where did the boat go when it was sick?
A. His dock.

Q. If you're Scottish when you go into the bathroom and you're Scottish when you go out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the toilet?
A. European (you are peeing).

Q. Why did the apple cuddle the orange?
A. Juice because he wanted a squeeze!

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. What do you call a fly with no wings?
A. A walk.

Q. Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to see his flat mate!

Q. What does a hamburger name his daughter?
A. Patty.

Q. Where did the hamburgers go?
A. To the Meat Ball!

Q. Why is the ocean always grumpy?
A. You'd be grumpy too if you had crabs on your bottom!

Q. What is a dentist's favourite game?
A. Tooth or Dare!

Q. What starts and ends with an O and has hi in the middle?
A. Ohio!

Q. What vegetable has eyes but can't see?
A. A potato.

Q. Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired?
A. Because he couldn't keep his calves together!

Q. What's red and mushy and is found between sharks teeth?
A. Slow swimmers.

Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.

Q. What is smaller then a talking cat?
A. A spelling bee.

Q. Why couldn't the bike stand up on it's own?
A. Because it was two-tired!

Q. What's the difference between winter and a hurt football player?
A. One is cold out and the other one is out cold.

Q. What did the magazine say to the pencil?
A. "You are looking very sharp today."

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. What do you call a giant with carrots in his ears?
A. Anything you want, he can't hear you!

Q. What kind of mail does a superstar vampire get?
A. Fang mail.

Q. What did the baseball say to the cake batter?
A. "Batter up."

Q. What 4 letters scare a thief?
A. O I C U (Oh...I see you.)

Q. Which pillar is not used in a building?
A. A caterpillar.

Q. What is yours but your friends use more than you?
A. Your name!

Q. What do you call two spiders who just got married?
A. Newlyweb!

Q. What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?
A. A Tyrannosaurus WRECK!

Q. Why did the camper bring a baseball player to camp?
A. To pitch the tent.

Q. Why are cooks cruel?
A. Because they whip cream and beat eggs!!

Q. What do you give a frog at a hospital?
A. A HOPeration!

Q. Who do you call when you break your toe?
A. The toe truck!

Q. Whoever makes it, tells it not. Whoever takes it, knows it not. Whoever knows it, wants it not. What is it?
A. Counterfeit money.

Q. What does a surprised iceberg say?
A. "Goodness Glacius!"

Q. What do eagles do when they coach a sports team?
A. They wing it.

Q. What did the cab driver wear to the ball?
A. A TAXIdo!

Q. Which day is mostly avoided by fish?
A. FRYday!

Q. What do you call a flying jelly?
A. A jelly copter.

Q. Tall in the morning, short at noon, gone at night but I'll be back soon. What am I?
A. A shadow!

Q. What state can you drink?
A. Mississippi!

Q. What does a wolf say on Halloween?
A. "Happy HOWLoween!"

Q. What can't you eat at dinner?
A. Breakfast and lunch!

Q. What did Cinderella wear to the beach?
A. Glass flippers.

Q. Why wouldn't the oyster give up her pearl?
A. She was shellfish [selfish].

Q. Which month has 28 days?
A. All of them, of course!

Q. Why was the dog sitting next to the fire?
A. He was a hotdog!

Q. What do you call a person who studies happy parrots?
A. A jollypollyoligist!

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. Why didn't the Dallas Cowboys want to beat the Denver Broncos in a game?
A. Because they needed a ride home!

Q. What do you call a man in a bush?
A. Russell.

Q. What's a monkey's favorite snack?
A. Chocolate chimp cookies.

Q. Where does a penguin go to visit his aunt?
A. ANT-arctica!

Q. What did the flower say to the bike?
A. "Petal!"

Q. Why did the dinosaur wear a bandage?
A. Because he had a dino-SORE!

Q. What sickness can fly?
A. The flu!

Q. What type of soap did the composer use?
A. Anti-BACH-terial.

Q. What starts with T, ends with T, and is filled with T?
A. A teapot!

Q. What did the Malteeser want to be when it grew up?
A. A Smartie.

Q. What is a parrot's favorite food on the 4th of July?
A. Fire crackers!

Q. What kind of running means walking
A. Running out of gas.

Q. What rolls and jumps but never walks?
A. A soccer ball!

Q. Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
A. Because they put on the salsa.

Q. What is the world's largest beverage?
A. MinneSODA. (Minnesota)

Q. Why did the coach go to the bank?
A. To get his quarterback.

Q. Why did the horse cross the road?
A. To get to the other NEIGH-bourhood.

Q. Why did the picture go to jail?
A. He got framed.

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. What 10 letter word starts with gas?
A. An A-U-T-O-M-O-B-I-L-E.

Q. Where does the rifle go?
A. To the Rifle Tower!

Q. Why was the girl staring at the juice box?
A. Because it said: "Concentrate."

Q. Are you a triangle?
A. 'Cause you sure are acute! ;)

Q. What do cheerleaders drink?
A. Root beer.

Q. What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A. A cloud!

Q. What sits outside all year long and is Irish?
A. Paddy O'furniture.

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