Squigly  Jokes and Riddles

Riddles for Kids

We've got lots of funny riddles and jokes for you! We know these riddles that will be sure to make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why was the coach mad?
A. Because he wanted his quarterback.

Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. "I've got a lot of problems."

Q. Why don't ducks tell jokes when they are flying?
A. Because they just might quack up.

Q. What is cute and cuddly and lives in your toilet?
A. Winnie the Pooh!

Q. What letter is an exclamation?
A. O!

Q. How do you make an octopus laugh?
A. Ten Tickles (Tentacles)!

Q. What did the running ketchup said to the walking ketchup?
A. "Catch up!"

Q. Why did the snake get a detention?
A. Because he was HISSpering!

Q. What always runs, never walks, often murmurs, never talks, has a bed but doesn't sleep, has a mouth but never eats?
A. A river!

Q. What do you call two bananas?
A. A pair of slippers!

Q. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!

Q. What do you call an overweight E.T.?
A. Extra Cholesterol!

Q. Why did the star go to the bathroom?
A. It had to twinkle!

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. What kind of monkey can fly?
A. A hot air BABOON!

Q. Why don't they play cards in Africa?
A. There are too many Cheetahs!

Q. Why is it against the law for a man living in Victoria to be buried in New South Wales?
A. Because he's still alive!

Q. What did the 0 say to the 8?
A. "Nice belt."

Q. What do you call a door that is cute?
A. ADOORable!

Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
A. MONSTERizer!

Q. What fish can help you build a house?
A. A hammerhead shark.

Q. Why is baseball the safest sport?
A. Because on the field, it has a warning track.

Q. What do mice feel like when they come out of the shower?
A. Squeaky clean!

Q. Imagine you are in a boat. You were being circled by sharks. One shark is about to bite you. What should you do?
A. Stop imagining!

Q. Where does a bunny go if you give it a pair of socks?
A. A sock hop.

Q. What do you call two spiders who just got married?
A. Newlyweb!

Q. What's red and mushy and is found between sharks teeth?
A. Slow swimmers.

Q. What kind of music do stars listen to?
A. The starry blues.

Q. What do you call a cow who learns how to belly dance?
A. A milkshake!

Q. Where did Pilgrims land when they arrived in America?
A. On their feet!

Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. The butcher was on the other side.

Q. Why did the gum cross the road?
A. It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

Q. What is the cat's favorite button on the remote?
A. Paws.

Q. What do you get when you put a radio in a fridge?
A. Cool music!

Q. How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
A. Poker Face!

Q. What does a wolf say on Halloween?
A. "Happy HOWLoween!"

Q. How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
A. It gave her a ring!

Q. What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A. Doyouthinkhesarus?

Q. Where do famous dragons go after they retire?
A. The hall of flame!

Q. Where do you weigh whales?
A. At the whale-weigh station.

Q. What do you call a deaf dinosaur?
A. Anything you like, he can't hear you!

Q. What do eskimos call their cows?
A. Eski-MOOS.

Q. What do babies and basketball players have in common?
A. They dribble.

Q. Why was the computer late to work?
A. He had a hard-drive.

Q. A man pushes a car to a hotel and realizes he's bankrupt. Why?
A. He's playing Monopoly!

Q. Which wolf got lost in the woods?
A. The WHEREwolf.

Q. What letter is a European bird?
A. J.

Q. What did the plow say to the tractor?
A. "Pull me a little closer, John Deere."

Q. What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A. "I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand."

Q. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A. To stay in shape!

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