Squigly  Jokes and Riddles


We've got lots of funny jokes and riddles for you! These riddles have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D


Q. Which fish costs the most?
A. A gold fish!

Q. What does a triceratops sit on?
A. It's tricera-bottom!

Q. What kind of animals do clocks have?
A. Ticks.

Q. Where won't you find a dog shopping?
A. At the flea market!

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. Why did Batman cross his legs?
A. He had to go to the BATroom!

Q. What do you call an an ant sticking out of the ground?
A. A plANT!

Q. Why did the dog stay out of the sun?
A. So he wouldn't be a hotdog.

Q. What did the tie say to the hat?
A. "You go on a head and I'll hang around here."

Q. What do you call a person who studies happy parrots?
A. A jollypollyoligist!

Q. If a red house is made out of red brick, and a blue house is made of blue bricks what is a green house made of?
A. Glass.

Q. What seven letters did the robber say when he saw nothing in the safe?
A. "O I C U R M T!"

Q. What happened to the frog's car when it got stuck?
A. It had to get TOAD away.

Q. Where can you always find happiness?
A. In a dictionary!

Q. What kind of monkey can fly?
A. A hot air BABOON!

Q. Why did the apple cuddle the orange?
A. Juice because he wanted a squeeze!

Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.

Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. A penguin doing 100 push ups.

Q. Why did the telephone go to the jewelry store?
A. He wanted a new ring.

Q. Why did the cow eat the tight rope walker?
A. Because he wanted a balanced meal!

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A. To get a spare rib .

Q. Hit me hard and I will crack but you'll never stop me from staring back. What am I?
A. A mirror!

Q. What do you call a deaf dinosaur?
A. Anything you like, he can't hear you!

Q. Why did the leopard refuse to take a bath?
A. It didn't want to come out spotless.

Q. What makes seven even?
A. Taking the S away!

Q. What always runs, never walks, often murmurs, never talks, has a bed but doesn't sleep, has a mouth but never eats?
A. A river!

Q. What's a monkey's favorite snack?
A. Chocolate chimp cookies.

Q. What has four eyes but can't see?
A. Mississippi.

Q. What do bananas do when they get a sunburn?
A. They peel.

Q. What do you call a man in a bush?
A. Russell.

Q. What did the paint give the wall on their first anniversary?
A. A new coat.

Q. What did the crocodile say to the waiter in the cafe?
A. I want bacon, eggs, and toast and make it SNAPPY!

Q. What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?
A. A Tyrannosaurus WRECK!

Q. You have a candle, a stove, and a fireplace and a match. Which one would you light first?
A. The match!

Q. Does France have a fourth of July?
A. Of course they do.

Q. Where do famous dragons go after they retire?
A. The hall of flame!

Q. Why is the letter B so cool?
A. Because it is in between A C!

Q. What did one lion say to another when they saw some hunters in a jeep?
A. "Look, meals on wheels!"

Q. In what way can the letter A help a deaf lady?
A. It can make her hear.

Q. One cow is talking to another cow and looks away for 10 seconds and the other cow is gone. Where is the other cow?
A. Over the moon!

Q. Why did the tightrope walker visit the bank?
A. He wanted to get his balance!

Q. What question can a person ask all day long, getting a different answer each time, yet all the answers are correct?
A. What time is it?

Q. How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
A. Poker Face!

Q. What is brown, has a tail and a head, but no legs?
A. A penny!

Q. How did Burger King propose to his girlfriend?
A. With an onion ring.

Q. What's it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A. A meltdown!

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. Where can you find a 3 foot ruler?
A. At a yard sale.

Q. What has a lot of keys but can't open doors?
A. A piano.

Q. What letter is a European bird?
A. J.

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