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Squigly's Riddles

We've got lots of funny riddles and jokes for you! By refreshing this page you will get another batch of riddles that will be sure to make you LOL! :D
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Riddles

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Q. What do you call a snail on a ship?
A. A snailor.

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. How do you make a sausage roll?
A. Push it down the hill!

Q. Where do pirates like to eat?
A. ARR-bys!

Q. Mary and John were sitting in the family room one night. John was watching TV and Mary was reading a book. All of a sudden the power went out, so John decided to go to bed, but Mary kept on reading without any artificial light. How is this possible?
A. Mary was blind and was reading braile!

Q. What is green, small and round and goes up and down?
A. A pea in a lift.

Q. What's yellow and goes 50 miles per hour?
A. A banana in a washing machine.

Q. I have four wings but I never fly, I never laugh and never cry. On the same spot I'm always found, toiling away with a squeaking sound. I turn but my body doesn't move. What am I?
A. A windmill that needs oiling.

Q. Why did the fish tell excuses?
A. To get off the hook!

Q. What did the elephant say to her son when he was naughty?
A. "Tusk tusk!"

Q. Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A. Because it's too far to walk!

Q. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A. A pouch potato.

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. Why couldn't the girl finish her music homework?
A. Because she forgot her notebook!

Q. What do you call an Italian cow that likes coffee?
A. De-calf.

Q. Why does a giraffe eat so little?
A. Because they can make a little go a long way.

Q. Why are pirates called pirates?
A. Because they AAARRR!

Q. What has holes and can still hold water?
A. A sponge!

Q. A man pushes a car to a hotel and realizes he's bankrupt. Why?
A. He's playing Monopoly!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. What can you put in a freezer that's hot and will always come out hot?
A. Hot sauce.

Q. What state can you drink?
A. Mississippi!

Q. What do you get when you cross a monkey and a pansy?
A. A chimpansy.

Q. Four men are in a boat and fall in the water. Not a single man gets wet. How is this possible?
A. All of them were married!

Q. What's brown and blue and swings through the jungle?
A. A monkey wearing a denim jacket!

Q. What is the world's largest beverage?
A. MinneSODA. (Minnesota)

Q. How do you make a bandstand?
A. You take away their chairs!

Q. What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
A. Open TOAD sandals.

Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-AID!

Q. What kind of shoes does a spy wear?
A. Sneakers.

Q. What kind of car does Humpty Dumpty drive?
A. A Yolks Wagon!

Q. Why is a snake lucky?
A. Because you can't pull its leg!

Q. What street does a vampire live on?
A. A dead end!

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. Why did the cookie cry?
A. Because his mother was a wafer too long!

Q. What do you call an overweight E.T.?
A. Extra Cholesterol!

Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.

Q. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
A. Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear!

Q. What does a surprised iceberg say?
A. "Goodness Glacius!"

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because she was getting tired of just standing there!

Q. What is cute and cuddly and lives in your toilet?
A. Winnie the Pooh!

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. If you have a referee in football and an umpire in cricket, what do you have in bowls?
A. Goldfish.

Q. What did Delaware?
A. A New Jersey!

Q. What's the difference between winter and a hurt football player?
A. One is cold out and the other one is out cold.

Q. How did the cow get through the crowd?
A. He shouted MOOve!

Q. Why did the boy lock himself in the fridge?
A. To make himself look cooler.

Q. Why did the music teacher go up the ladder during music class?
A. To reach the high notes!

Q. Why couldn't the eight year old get into the pirate movie?
A. Because it was rated ARRRR!

Q. Why did the baby chick cross the road?
A. It was take-your-child-to-work day.

Q. What's a cow's favourite drink?
A. LeMOOnade.

Q. What do you call a fairy that hasn't taken a bath?
A. STINKerbell.

Q. What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A. A milkshake!

Q. Why was the computer late to work?
A. He had a hard-drive.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?
A. I don't know but you better behave in its class!

Q. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A. An investiGATOR!

Q. What do you call a flying jelly?
A. A jelly copter.

Q. Do you want to hear a construction joke?
A. Sorry I'm still working on it!

Q. What do you get when you put a radio in a fridge?
A. Cool music!

Q. What goes around the world but stays in the corner?
A. A stamp!

Q. What is a mummy's favorite kind of music?
A. Rap!

Q. What do you call a shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?
A. Lockjaw.

Q. Why did the orange lose the race?
A. Because it ran out of juice.

Q. What do you call a reptile that sings?
A. A RAPtile!

Q. What is a dentist's favourite game?
A. Tooth or Dare!

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. Which building has the most stories?
A. Library!

Q. Why don't ducks get letters?
A. Because they already have bills!

Q. What did the duck put in its soup?
A. Quackers.

Q. How do you throw a tent?
A. You pitch it!

Q. What did the bread say to the knife?
A. "Don't try to butter me up."

Q. What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?
A. A woolly jumper!

Q. What makes songs but never sings?
A. Notes.

Q. What kind of shoes do mice like?
A. Squeakers!

Q. Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
A. If he flew over a bay he'd be called a bagel!

Q. What do you call a musical insect?
A. A humbug.

Q. There are 30 white horses on a red hill. They stomp, chomp and they stop. What are they?
A. Your teeth.

Q. What's the difference between a dirty dime and a clean nickel?
A. 5 cents.

Q. Which mountain has never been climbed?
A. Mountain Dew!

Q. Why was the dog sitting next to the fire?
A. He was a hotdog!

Q. What do you get if you cross some bubble bath and a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Foams.

Q. Why did the student drown?
A. All her grades were below C-level!

Q. Where did the boat go when it was sick?
A. His dock.

Q. Mary's mum had three children. One was called April, the second was May. What was the name of the last one?
A. Mary!

Q. Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
A. Because they put on the salsa.

Q. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean?
A. Nothing, they just waved!

Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. The butcher was on the other side.

Q. Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?
A. Fo'drizzle!

Q. What way do the cows like to go?
A. The milky way!

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. What did the sweaty octopus spend all his money on?
A. Underarm deodrant.

Q. The peak on my house is going east and west and slopes North and South. A rooster is on the peak and lays an egg, which way did the egg roll?
A. Roosters don't lay eggs

Q. What are the strongest animals in the ocean?
A. Mussels!

Q. What's the richest kind of air?
A. Billionaire.

Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
A. Pi.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get to the other side.

Q. What do you call a man in a bush?
A. Russell.

Q. What letter of the alphabet has the most water?
A. The letter C!

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