Squigly  Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

Funny Riddles for Kids
We've got lots of funny jokes and riddles for you! These riddles have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. Why did the crab cross the road?
A. To get to the other the tide.

Q. What is yours but your friends use more than you?
A. Your name!

Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
A. Pi.

Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!

Q. Why did the man stick his car in the stove?
A. He wanted a hot rod!

Q. What happened when the teacher tied all the kids shoe laces together?
A. They had a class trip!

Q. Why did the turkey cross the road?
A. Because it was the chicken's day off!

Q. What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A. A cloud!

Q. Why did the starfish breakup with the lobster?
A. Because he was SHELLfish.

Q. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A. A BULL-dozer.

Q. What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and cuts grass?
A. A lawn MEOW-er!

Q. Why couldn't the girl finish her music homework?
A. Because she forgot her notebook!

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. Why did the fish make such a good musician?
A. He knew his scales.

Q. There are 30 white horses on a red hill. They stomp, chomp and they stop. What are they?
A. Your teeth.

Q. What do you call a snail with no shell?
A. Homeless.

Q. What did the sea say to the shore?
A. Nothing, it just waved.

Q. What way are the letter A and noon alike?
A. Both of them are in the middle of the day.

Q. How do you eat an elephant?
A. One bite at a time.

Q. There was no moon and a black car with no headlights was driving on a black road. On the black road there was a black dog. The car avoided the dog. How is this possible?
A. It was daytime.

Q. How many letters are in envelope?
A. One.

Q. If you're Scottish when you go into the bathroom and you're Scottish when you go out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the toilet?
A. European (you are peeing).

Q. A duck, a cat and a cow went out to dinner, who had to pay?
A. The duck. He was the only one with a bill.

Q. What does the baby popcorn call his dad?
A. Pop!

Q. What is white, black and red all over?
A. An embarrassed penguin.

Q. Imagine you are in a metal box. There is no way of getting out. You have no tools or food. How do you get out and survive?
A. You stop imagining!

Q. What did the cow say to the other cow?
A. "MOOve over!"

Q. Which restaurants are good at math?
A. Take-aways!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. What insect is a coward?
A. A flea!

Q. Why were the pirates so good at singing?
A. They were working on the high Cs.

Q. What do you call a crab that will not share?
A. A selfish. (Shellfish)

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. What happens if you call 611 for the police?
A. The police car comes to you upside down!

Q. Why did the bank robber take a bath?
A. So he could make a clean getaway.

Q. Why did the firefighter put his belt on?
A. To hold his pants up!

Q. What time do you go to the dentist?
A. Tooth hurty!

Q. What 4 letters scare a thief?
A. O I C U (Oh...I see you.)

Q. Why couldn't the shipmates play cards?
A. The captain was sitting on the deck!

Q. Why did the young cat get arrested ?
A. For his litter!

Q. What has two heads and runs faster the longer it stands?
A. An hourglass.

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. What has a thousand legs, a long neck but no head?
A. A broom.

Q. Where did the mother monster put her child when she was at work?
A. At day-SCARE!

Q. What is Santa's favorite snack?
A. Ho, hos!

Q. Who in the solar system has the most loose change?
A. The moon, it keeps changing quarters.

Q. What do you call a dentist in the army?
A. A drill sergeant.

Q. What sickness can fly?
A. The flu!

Q. What did the duck say to the clerk?
A. "Put it on my bill."

Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.

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