We've got lots of funny riddles and jokes for you! We know these riddles that will be sure to make you LOL! :D
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Q. Where can you find a 3 foot ruler?
A. At a yard sale.
Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. To get to the MOOvies.
Q. What is black, white and red?
A. A panda with a rash!
Q. What do you call a frog that parks in a tow away zone?
A. A TOAD away zone.
Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.
Q. What does the Invisible Man drink at snack time?
A. Evaporated milk.
Q. Why did the mattress go the doctor?
A. It had spring fever.
Q. Why did the coach go to the bank?
A. To get his quarterback.
Q. What do you call a man in a bush?
Q. What is an army man's favorite month?
Q. What did the tornado ask the car?
A. "Wanna go for a spin?"
Q. What did the duck put in its soup?
Q. There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?
A. A watermelon!
Q. Why did the apple cuddle the orange?
A. Juice because he wanted a squeeze!
Q. What do you call a square that's been in an accident?
A. A WRECKtangle.
Q. Why is there no air in space?
A. Because the Milky Way would go bad.
Q. Why did the cow want some cheese?
A. Because it's MOOlicious!
Q. How many letters are in the alphabet?
A. 11, T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Q. Why did the strawberry cross the road?
A. Because his mom was in a jam!
Q. What did the volcanoes name their daughter?
Q. Why didn't the police catch the banana?
A. Because it split!
Q. Where do you send a soldier with a toothache?
A. To the drill sergeant!
Q. What do you call a snail with no shell?
Q. Why did the cow go to Hollywood?
A. She wanted to be a movie star.
Q. What does a surprised iceberg say?
A. "Goodness Glacius!"
Q. What two candies are the smartest?
A. Smarties and Nerds.
Q. Ike went through the town casuing havoc and he was on the news and in the newspaper. What is Ike?
A. A hurricane!
Q. What kind of birds always stay together?
Q. What did the cab driver wear to the ball?
A. A TAXIdo!
Q. How do you get 6 donkeys into a fire engine?
A. Two in the front, two in the back and two on the top going, "He-haw, he-haw!"
Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. A penguin doing 100 push ups.
Q. What cat likes living in water?
A. An octoPUSS!
Q. Which country is the slipperiest?
Q. Why did the goose cross the road?
A. He didn't want to be called a chicken!
Q. Did you hear about the man who got his left arm cut off?
A. He's all right now.
Q. Why was the elephant afraid of the computer store?
A. Because they sold the world's best mice.
Q. What is green and hangs off trees?
A. Giraffe snot.
Q. What time is it when a clock strikes thirteen?
A. Time to buy a new clock.
Q. Why did the gum cross the road?
A. It was stuck to the chicken's foot.
Q. What do ghosts wear on their feet?
Q. What does a polar bear use to keep his head warm?
A. A polar ice cap.
Q. What do you call a football team with pigs?
A. Queens Pork Rangers.
Q. What do you call a break up between a boy and a girl banana?
A. A banana split.
Q. What street does a vampire live on?
A. A dead end!
Q. What animal never tells the truth?
A. A lion.
Q. How do you spell mousetrap with ONLY three letters?
Q. What do you call a train full of toffee?
A. A chew-chew train!
Q. How do you communicate with a fish?
A. Drop it a line.
Q. What do you call a door that is cute?
Q. What did the little light bulb say to its mum?
A. "I wuv you watts and watts!"