We've got lots of funny riddles and jokes for you! By refreshing this page you will get another batch of riddles that will be sure to make you LOL! :D
Q. How do eggs get to the shop?
A. In a CARton!
Q. What can run, play and move around yet it cannot breath?
A. A CD or DVD!
Q. If you know me you will want to share me, but if you share me I will be gone. What am I?
A. A secret.
Q. What is always blue (sad) but always smiles?
A. A smurf.
Q. Who was the straightest man in the Bible?
A. Joseph, Pharoah made a ruler out of him.
Q. What do a duck and a tricycle have in common?
A. They both have a steering wheel, except for the duck.
Q. Why did the cow eat the tight rope walker?
A. Because he wanted a balanced meal!
Q. Why did the grandma sit in the rocking chair with her roller blades on?
A. Because she wanted to rock and roll.
Q. What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder?
A. He got a little behind in his work!
Q. What happened to the frog's car when it got stuck?
A. It had to get TOAD away.
Q. Why did the fish tell excuses?
A. To get off the hook!
Q. What do you get if you cross a cow, a sheep and a goat?
A. The Milky Baa-r kid.
Q. What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A. A cloud!
Q. What did the fish say to the chip?
A. "We were made for each other."
Q. What does a polar bear use to keep his head warm?
A. A polar ice cap.
Q. What is the British Secret Service's best yellow-haired spy?
A. James Blonde!
Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!
Q. What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?
A. A Tyrannosaurus WRECK!
Q. What was Mr. Cow and Mrs. Cow's favorite time together?
A. When they went on their honeyMOOn.
Q. What goes around the world but stays in one place?
A. A stamp.
Q. A cowboy rode into town on Friday, stayed for 3 days and left on Friday. How did he do it?
A. His horse's name was Friday.
Q. What kind of witch lives at the beach?
A. A sandwich.
Q. Can you name two things that have an eye buy can't see?
A. A needle and a hurricane!
Q. Tall in the morning, short at noon, gone at night but I'll be back soon. What am I?
A. A shadow!
Q. Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
A. Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall down!
Q. Why did the gum cross the road?
A. It was stuck to the chicken's foot.
Q. I usually wear a yellow coat. I usually have a black tip and wherever I go I make marks. What am I?
A. A pencil.
Q. Why can you never trust spiders?
A. Because they post stuff on the web.
Q. A duck, a cat and a cow went out to dinner, who had to pay?
A. The duck. He was the only one with a bill.
Q. How many seconds are in a year?
A. 12: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, …
Q. Why did the orange get stuck up the on the mountain?
A. Because he ran out of juice.
Q. Why did the policeman stay in bed?
A. Because he was an undercover cop.
Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.
Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Q. What is brown and sticky?
A. A stick.
Q. What is a dog that sneezes?
Q. What do you call a dark colored horse that really scares you?
A. A nightMARE!
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Q. Why was the horse unable to get into the antelopes' music club?
A. He had no horns!
Q. Why was the music teacher not able to open his class room?
A. Because his keys were on the piano.
Q. Why is a snake lucky?
A. Because you can't pull its leg!
Q. What goes around the world but stays in the corner?
A. A stamp!
Q. How do you get 6 donkeys into a fire engine?
A. Two in the front, two in the back and two on the top going, "He-haw, he-haw!"
Q. Why is the White House spotless?
A. Because it lives in WASHington!
Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A. To get a spare rib .
Q. Which letter comes once in a minute, twice in a millennium but never in thousand years?
A. The letter M.
Q. What starts with T, ends with T, and is filled with T?
A. A teapot!
Q. Where do famous dragons go after they retire?
A. The hall of flame!
Q. What is the best way to catch a squirrel?
A. Act like a nut.
Q. Which is the most dangerous city?
Q. What vegetable has eyes but can't see?
A. A potato.
Q. What does a bird say on Halloween?
A. Twick or tweet!
Q. What is a volcano?
A. A mountain with hiccups!
Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!
Q. If the red house is in the left and the blue house is on the right, where is the white house ?
A. Washington DC.
Q. Where do pencils come from?
Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.
Q. What do you get when you cross a parrot and a caterpillar?
A. A walkie talkie.
Q. What did the vampire say to his wife?
A. "Your neck looks slimmer."
Q. Why was the voice teacher so good at baseball?
A. Because she had the perfect pitch.
Q. What can you put in a freezer that's hot and will always come out hot?Hot sauce.
A. Hot sauce.
Q. What has holes and can still hold water?
A. A sponge!
Q. What is in and out, big and small, short and tall, up and down, and all around?
A. Life and time.
Q. What did the red sock say to the white sock?
A. "Let's play ball."
Q. What's a cow's favourite drink?
Q. Why did the orange wish he was wearing sunscreen?
A. He was starting to peel!
Q. What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
A. "You're way too young to smoke."
Q. Why did the stupid racing driver make ten pit stops during the race?
A. He was asking for directions!
Q. Why did the willow weep?
A. Because it saw the water fall (waterfall).
Q. Where did the hamburgers go?
A. To the Meat Ball!
Q. What do birds get when they are ill?
Q. What do you get when you cross a bird, a car, and a dog?
A. A flying carpet.
Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!
Q. What do polar bears like to snack on?
A. Eskimo thighs.
Q. What did the happy slice of cheese say to the sad slice of cheese?
A. "Aw, it will be okay! Everything is GOUDA!"
Q. What did the sick freight elevator say?
A. "I think I'm coming down with something."
Q. What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A. "I love BOO!"
Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In a snowbank.
Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A. Time to get a new fence.
Q. You're riding on a horse and you realize there's a lion chasing you and a giraffe is in front of you. What do you do?
A. Jump off the merry-go-round!
Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
A. A creamy quacker!
Q. What did the judge say when the skunk entered the court?
A. "Odor in the court!"
Q. What did one NASCAR driver say to the other?
A. "Do you want to crash at my place tonight?"
Q. As I get older, I become shorter. What am I?
A. A pencil!
Q. Why did the egg hide?
A. Because she was a little chicken!
Q. What state can you drink?
Q. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. Because he felt crummy.
Q. What is red and has fangs?
A. An apple. I lied about the fangs!
Q. Why do mushrooms like to tell jokes?
A. Because they're a fungi!
Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.
Q. Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?
Q. How do you get rid of a boomerang?
A. Throw it down a one way street!
Q. Why were the police suspicious of the window drapes?
A. They were shady.
Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
Q. What devours everything and everything devours it?
Q. How did Jack Frost get to work?
A. By icicle!
Q. What kind of flower lives between your mouth and your chin?
Q. What has no lid, key, or hinge yet golden treasure is hid inside?
A. An egg!
Q. What gets smaller as it gets higher?
A. An airplane!