Squigly  Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

We've got lots of funny jokes and riddles for you! These riddles have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles





Q. Why is a snake lucky?
A. Because you can't pull its leg!

Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.

Q. There are 30 white horses on a red hill. They stomp, chomp and they stop. What are they?
A. Your teeth.

Q. What did the calendar say to the other calendar?
A. "You want to go on a date with me?"

Q. You're stuck in a cement box, all you have is a mirror and a table, how do you get out?
A. You take the mirror, you see what you saw, grab the saw, cut the table in half, one half plus one half equals one whole, you take the hole put it in the wall and walk out.

Q. Which mountain has never been climbed?
A. Mountain Dew!

Q. What is always blue (sad) but always smiles?
A. A smurf.

Q. Why did the one handed man cross the road?
A. To get to the second hand shop!

Q. Why was the elephant afraid of the computer store?
A. Because they sold the world's best mice.

Q. What did the Malteeser want to be when it grew up?
A. A Smartie.

Q. What has a tongue but can't talk?
A. A shoe!

Q. What question can a person ask all day long, getting a different answer each time, yet all the answers are correct?
A. What time is it?

Q. What can you throw but not catch?
A. A fit!

Q. Why didn't the moon finish his meal?
A. It was full.

Q. What's invisible and smells like carrots?
A. Bunny toots!

Q. In what way can the letter A help a deaf lady?
A. It can make her hear.

Q. What did the duck say to the clerk?
A. "Put it on my bill."

Q. Why did the crab cross the road?
A. To get to the other the tide.

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. What do you call a giant with carrots in his ears?
A. Anything you want, he can't hear you!

Q. If you know me you will want to share me, but if you share me I will be gone. What am I?
A. A secret.

Q. What did the tornado ask the car?
A. "Wanna go for a spin?"

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. What school do planets and stars go to to study?
A. UNIVERSity!

Q. Why did the baby chick cross the road?
A. It was take-your-child-to-work day.

Q. A duck, a cat and a cow went out to dinner, who had to pay?
A. The duck. He was the only one with a bill.

Q. Why do cats always go after mice and birds?
A. Because cats like fast food.

Q. Where does a cow go when he's bored?
A. To the MOOvies.

Q. Why is it against the law for a man living in Victoria to be buried in New South Wales?
A. Because he's still alive!

Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. Because KFC was on the other side.

Q. What did the zero say to the eight?
A. "Oh, I like your belt!"

Q. What has a ring but no finger?
A. A telephone!

Q. What is green and hangs off trees?
A. Giraffe snot.

Q. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean?
A. Nothing, they just waved!

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs at the front door?
A. Matt!

Q. What money do dogs and cats have?
A. Kitty cash and doggy dollars.

Q. Did you hear about the man who got his left arm cut off?
A. He's all right now.

Q. What type of queue do dolls like best?
A. A BBQ.

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. What is the biggest word in the world?
A. Smiles. There is a mile in between each S.

Q. What do you call a snail on a ship?
A. A snailor.

Q. Why did the fish have no money on him?
A. He left it all at the bank.

Q. What does an injured lemon need?
A. Lemon Aid!

Q. What did Cinderella say to the photographer?
A. "Someday my prints will come!"

Q. What do you call a super hero who has lost his powers?
A. A super-zero.

Q. Are you a triangle?
A. 'Cause you sure are acute! ;)

Q. What starts and ends with an O and has hi in the middle?
A. Ohio!

Q. Do you know who I think is the most beautiful person in the world?
A. Look at the 5th word.

Q. Why did the girl take a ladder to school?
A. Because she thought it was a high school.

Q. What did the cat need when it was having trouble seeing?
A. A PURRscription!

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