We've got lots of funny riddles and jokes for you! We know these riddles that will be sure to make you LOL! :D
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Q. What do get when you cross one principal with another principal?
A. I wouldn't do it, principals don't like to be crossed!
Q. What type of house weighs the least?
A. A lighthouse.
Q. How did the teacher knit a suit of armor?
A. She used steel wool!
Q. What did the calendar say to the other calendar?
A. "You want to go on a date with me?"
Q. What do you call a pig dressed as Frankenstein?
Q. Why was the clock in the cafeteria always slow?
A. Because every lunch it went back four seconds!
Q. What devours everything and everything devours it?
Q. What do you call a frog that parks in a tow away zone?
A. A TOAD away zone.
Q. What kind of music does a mountain like?
A. Rock music!
Q. Why didn't the moon finish his meal?
A. It was full.
Q. Are you a triangle?
A. 'Cause you sure are acute! ;)
Q. What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?
A. A Tyrannosaurus WRECK!
Q. What did the banana say to the judge?
A. "I'm sure to win this case on a-peel!"
Q. It is greater than God and more evil than devil. The poor have it. The rich need it and if you eat it you'll die. What is it?
Q. Why did the skeleton go to the store?
A. To get some spare ribs.
Q. Why couldn't the girl dial 911?
A. She couldn't find the 11.
Q. What is white on the outside, green on the inside and hops?
A. A frog sandwich.
Q. Which month has 28 days?
A. All of them, of course!
Q. Why is it against the law for a man living in Victoria to be buried in New South Wales?
A. Because he's still alive!
Q. Why did the orange wish he was wearing sunscreen?
A. He was starting to peel!
Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"
Q. What did the judge say when the skunk entered the court?
A. "Odor in the court!"
Q. What did the calculator say to the other calculator?
A. "You can count on me!"
Q. What do you get with a kangoroo and a snake?
A. A jump rope.
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To show the possums how it's done.
Q. Why did the tightrope walker visit the bank?
A. He wanted to get his balance!
Q. Why do cats always go after mice and birds?
A. Because cats like fast food.
Q. What language does a billboard speak?
A. Sign language.
Q. What's a cow's favourite drink?
Q. Q. Rail road crossing, watch out for the cars, can you spell that with out any Rs?
Q. What has hands but no arms?
A. A clock.
Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.
Q. What did the happy slice of cheese say to the sad slice of cheese?
A. "Aw, it will be okay! Everything is GOUDA!"
Q. Why was the girl staring at the juice box?
A. Because it said: "Concentrate."
Q. How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of your car?
A. Have him sit in front with you.
Q. What was the name of Noah's wife?
Q. What do you call a flying jelly?
A. A jelly copter.
Q. What did the scientist say to the hydrogen atom that claimed it lost an electron?
A. "Are you positive?"
Q. What happened to the frog's car when it got stuck?
A. It had to get TOAD away.
Q. How do you make cool music?
A. Put your CD's in the fridge.
Q. What did the traffic light say to the car?
A. "Don't look. I'm changing!"
Q. What bow can't be tied?
A. A rainbow.
Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he had no guts.
Q. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A. A dino-snore!
Q. If you have three 7 foot long ropes, how many feet do you have?
A. You have two feet!
Q. What do you call two spiders who just got married?
Q. What is the end of everything?
A. The letter G.
Q. What's the difference between a dirty dime and a clean nickel?
A. 5 cents.
Q. What did the fish say to the chip?
A. "We were made for each other."
Q. What kind of tea is hard to swallow?