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Squigly's Riddles

We've got lots of funny riddles and jokes for you! By refreshing this page you will get another batch of riddles that will be sure to make you LOL! :D
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Riddles

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Q. How did Jack Frost get to work?
A. By icicle!

Q. What did the joey say to the turtle?
A. "I can take my home with me too."

Q. Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired?
A. Because he couldn't keep his calves together!

Q. What is the difference between a cat that got photocopied and a cat that follows you?
A. One is a cat copy, the other is a copy cat.

Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.

Q. Which bet can't be won?
A. Alphabet.

Q. How do you communicate with a fish?
A. Drop it a line.

Q. Why was the horse unable to get into the antelopes' music club?
A. He had no horns!

Q. What do you call two bananas?
A. A pair of slippers!

Q. What do a duck and a tricycle have in common?
A. They both have a steering wheel, except for the duck.

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. What room can't ghosts go in?
A. The LIVING room!

Q. I have 7 children half of them are boys, what is the other half?
A. They were all boys.

Q. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
A. Because her students were bright!

Q. What is the biggest word in the world?
A. Smiles. There is a mile in between each S.

Q. What do you call an an ant sticking out of the ground?
A. A plANT!

Q. What type of house weighs the least?
A. A lighthouse.

Q. What kind of bug goes Zzub Zzub?
A. A bumble bee flying backward!

Q. What's bigger when it's upside down?
A. A 6!

Q. What do you call a train full of bubble gum?
A. A chew-chew train.

Q. Why did the whale laugh?
A. Because he saw the sea's bottom.

Q. What did the cannibal say after he ate a clown?
A. "That tasted funny!"

Q. What does a hamburger name his daughter?
A. Patty.

Q. What do you get if you cross some bubble bath and a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Foams.

Q. What do you call a man in a bush?
A. Russell.

Q. What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?
A. It gets wet.

Q. Why don't ducks get letters?
A. Because they already have bills!

Q. Where does a cow go when he's bored?
A. To the MOOvies.

Q. What is a cow's favorite ice cream?
A. MOOnila!

Q. Why did the bank robber take a bath?
A. So he could make a clean getaway.

Q. How do you make a sausage roll?
A. Push it down the hill!

Q. Why couldn't the bike stand up on it's own?
A. Because it was two-tired!

Q. What flower gives the most kisses on Valentines Day?
A. Tulips.

Q. One cow is talking to another cow and looks away for 10 seconds and the other cow is gone. Where is the other cow?
A. Over the moon!

Q. What do you call a woodpecker with no beak?
A. A head banger.

Q. What do you call a cow who learns how to belly dance?
A. A milkshake!

Q. What bird is always sad?
A. A blue-bird.

Q. What did one leaf say to the other?
A. "See you next fall!!"

Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
A. MONSTERizer!

Q. Why did the turkey cross the road?
A. Because Thanksgiving was right around the corner.

Q. What sickness can fly?
A. The flu!

Q. What is a volcano?
A. A mountain with heartburn!

Q. If you're Scottish when you go into the bathroom and you're Scottish when you go out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the toilet?
A. European (you are peeing).

Q. What do you call a dark colored horse that really scares you?
A. A nightMARE!

Q. What goes up but does not go down?
A. Your age!

Q. Why did the pencil cross the road first?
A. He was the LEADer!

Q. How do you start a teddy bear race?
A. Ready, teddy, go!

Q. I am a rock group that has four members, all of whom are dead, one of which was assassinated. What group am I?
A. Mount Rushmore! Get it, rock group?

Q. As I get older, I become shorter. What am I?
A. A pencil!

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. What does a toad say when it sees something great?
A. "TOADaly Awesome!"

Q. What do you call a fairy that hasn't taken a bath?
A. STINKerbell.

Q. Why did the cow eat the tight rope walker?
A. Because he wanted a balanced meal!

Q. What kind of witch lives at the beach?
A. A sandwich.

Q. Where do sheep get their hair cut?
A. At the bah bah shop.

Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. Pork Chop!

Q. What is a parrot's favorite food on the 4th of July?
A. Fire crackers!

Q. What do you take before every meal?
A. A seat!

Q. Why did the dinosaur wear a bandage?
A. Because he had a dino-SORE!

Q. Q. Rail road crossing, watch out for the cars, can you spell that with out any Rs?
A. T-H-A-T.

Q. What kind of monkey can fly?
A. A hot air BABOON!

Q. What did the paint give the wall on their first anniversary?
A. A new coat.

Q. What do you get when you mix a German Shepard and a giraffe?
A. A watch dog for the fifteenth floor!

Q. Imagine you are in a boat. You were being circled by sharks. One shark is about to bite you. What should you do?
A. Stop imagining!

Q. What cheese is not yours?
A. Nacho Cheese.

Q. If I did this equation, 23x45+27x99= What answer would I get?
A. A very big number!

Q. What has a tongue but can't talk?
A. A shoe!

Q. Why couldn't the shipmates play cards?
A. The captain was sitting on the deck!

Q. What movie tells the tale of a pizza maker bitten by an arachnid?
A. Spi-dough Man.

Q. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A. In case he got a hole in one!

Q. Why do you never ask a dinosaur to read you a story?
A. Because their tales are so long.

Q. What kind of explosions do dinosaurs like?
A. DINOmite!

Q. What do they serve for lunch at karate camp?
A. Kung Food!

Q. What do you get when you cross a magician with a camera?
A. Hocus Focus!

Q. How do you make cool music?
A. Put your CD's in the fridge.

Q. Which country is the slipperiest?
A. Greece!

Q. Do you want to hear a construction joke?
A. Sorry I'm still working on it!

Q. Why didn't Batman and Robin go fishing?
A. Because Robin ate all the the worms.

Q. What did Delaware?
A. A New Jersey!

Q. Why did the farmer let his cows eat the tall grass?
A. Because it needed to get moooed! (Mowed)

Q. What did Cinderella wear to the beach?
A. Glass flippers.

Q. What did the candle say to the other candle?
A. "Are you going out tonight?"

Q. What did the paper cowboy say to the pencil cowboy?
A. "Draw."

Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. Because KFC was on the other side.

Q. What is a TV's favorite thing to do at the the beach?
A. Channel surf.

Q. You're stuck in a cement box, all you have is a mirror and a table, how do you get out?
A. You take the mirror, you see what you saw, grab the saw, cut the table in half, one half plus one half equals one whole, you take the hole put it in the wall and walk out.

Q. In a green house lives a green man and in the pink house lives a pink man. Who lives in the white house?
A. The president.

Q. How do you know when a dumb person has been on the computer?
A. There's white-out all over the screen.

Q. What is the best way to catch a squirrel?
A. Act like a nut.

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. What do you call a person with a tree for a briefcase?
A. A branch manager.

Q. Why did the apple cuddle the orange?
A. Juice because he wanted a squeeze!

Q. What does a wolf say on Halloween?
A. "Happy HOWLoween!"

Q. What is yours but your friends use more than you?
A. Your name!

Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
A. Lost.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To show the possums how it's done.

Q. Where did Pilgrims land when they arrived in America?
A. On their feet!

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