Squigly  Jokes and Riddles

Riddles

We've got lots of funny jokes and riddles for you! These riddles have been submitted by kids from all over the world. We know these jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles





Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.

Q. Why did the cow pack his bags?
A. Because he was MOOving!

Q. What does a tree drink?
A. Root beer!

Q. What is a flower between your nose and your chin?
A. Two lips. (Tulips)

Q. How do you get rid of a boomerang?
A. Throw it down a one way street!

Q. What devours everything and everything devours it?
A. Time.

Q. Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. Because when you add four and four you get ate (eight).

Q. What's the best place to grow flowers in school?
A. In kindergarden.

Q. Why was 10 afraid of 9?
A. Because 9 8 7!

Q. What is served on a table with gatherings of two or four, and is white and round?
A. A ping pong ball.

Q. What did the pig put on his rash?
A. OINKment!

Q. What did the judge say when the skunk got off the stage?
A. "You stink!"

Q. Why is the White House spotless?
A. Because it lives in WASHington!

Q. What did one lion say to another when they saw some hunters in a jeep?
A. "Look, meals on wheels!"

Q. What did the man say to the butcher at the deli?
A. "I never sausage a place"

Q. What did the bee say when he returned to the hive?
A. "Honey, I'm home!"

Q. Why is there no air in space?
A. Because the Milky Way would go bad.

Q. How do you keep someone in suspense?
A. I'll tell you tomorrow.

Q. Where does the word done come before start?
A. In the dictionary!

Q. If you say it you break it. What is it?
A. Silence.

Q. Why did the jellybean go to school?
A. To become a smartie!

Q. Why is the ocean always grumpy?
A. You'd be grumpy too if you had crabs on your bottom!

Q. What did the tornado ask the car?
A. "Wanna go for a spin?"

Q. Why are fish smart?
A. Because they travel in schools.

Q. Why did the picture go to jail?
A. He got framed.

Q. There is a black house, grey house, red house, yellow house, green house and brown house. What colour house does President Obama live in?
A. The White House!

Q. What is green and hangs off trees?
A. Giraffe snot.

Q. What pet does everybody have?
A. A carPET!

Q. Imagine you are in a metal box. There is no way of getting out. You have no tools or food. How do you get out and survive?
A. You stop imagining!

Q. What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
A. "Me ow!"

Q. Why did the telephone go to the jewelry store?
A. He wanted a new ring.

Q. Why was the ghost on the cheerleading squad?
A. It wanted to add a little team spirit.

Q. Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired?
A. Because he couldn't keep his calves together!

Q. What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A. A milkshake!

Q. There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?
A. A watermelon!

Q. What was the name of Noah's wife?
A. Yesa!

Q. What is green, small and round and goes up and down?
A. A pea in a lift.

Q. Did you hear what happened down at the fish shop?
A. The fish got battered!

Q. What's brown and blue and swings through the jungle?
A. A monkey wearing a denim jacket!

Q. Why is 2+2=5 like your left foot?
A. It's not right.

Q. What's an insect's favorite sport?
A. Cricket.

Q. What type of soap did the composer use?
A. Anti-BACH-terial.

Q. How do you know when an Irish person is happy?
A. When they are Dublin over with laughter!

Q. What do you call a football player whose helmet is too tight?
A. Call him anthing you want, he can't hear you!

Q. What is the difference between a worn out runner and a worn out vet?
A. One's dog tired and the other is tired of dogs.

Q. There was a train with passengers inside. Suddenly the train crashed, where would the survivors be buried?
A. No where, they are the survivors!

Q. How much is the moon worth?
A. One dollar, because it has four quarters.

Q. What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
A. "Time to get your booster shot!"

Q. What has a ring but no finger?
A. A telephone!

Q. Why did the skeleton flunk out?
A. His heart was not in it!

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