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Squigly's Riddles

We've got lots of funny riddles and jokes for you! By refreshing this page you will get another batch of riddles that will be sure to make you LOL! :D
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Riddles

Q. What do eagles do when they coach a sports team?
A. They wing it.

Q. Which is the most dangerous city?
A. ElectriCITY!

Q. What is a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A. A stick!

Q. Why didn't the bunny hop?
A. No bunny knows.

Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!

Q. Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?
A. Fo'drizzle!

Q. What do you call a person who studies happy parrots?
A. A jollypollyoligist!

Q. There's this guy and he's jogging. Well, he turns left, jogs some, turns left, jogs some, and turns left again. When he gets home there are 2 masked men waiting. Who are the masked men?
A. The Umpire and the Back Catcher!

Q. Why did the gum cross the road?
A. It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

Q. Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
A. Because he wanted to see his flat mate!

Q. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A. A dino-snore!

Q. What did the sick freight elevator say?
A. "I think I'm coming down with something."

Q. Who was the first deer in space?
A. Buck Rogers.

Q. What do you call a bunny with fleas?
A. Bugs Bunny.

Q. Why is a snake lucky?
A. Because you can't pull its leg!

Q. What is a TV's favorite thing to do at the the beach?
A. Channel surf.

Q. Why was the girl staring at the juice box?
A. Because it said: "Concentrate."

Q. What fish can help you build a house?
A. A hammerhead shark.

Q. What insect is an arithmetic insect?
A. A mosquito! They add to misery, subtract from pleasure, divide the attention and multiply quickly!

Q. What do you call two spiders who just got married?
A. Newlyweb!

Q. What do dogs have that other animal don't have?
A. Puppies.

Q. Why did the orange lose the race?
A. Because it ran out of juice.

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs at the front door?
A. Matt!

Q. Why did the turkey run across the road?
A. He wanted to get away from Thanksgiving!

Q. There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?
A. A watermelon!

Q. There is a black house, grey house, red house, yellow house, green house and brown house. What colour house does President Obama live in?
A. The White House!

Q. Why don't football players get hot?
A. Because of all their fans!

Q. Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?
A. To the reTAIL store.

Q. Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
A. Because their feet stink.

Q. What do you call a fly with no wings?
A. A walk.

Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.

Q. Why did the telephone go to the jewelry store?
A. He wanted a new ring.

Q. Why did the clock go to the principal's office?
A. For tocking too much!

Q. How does Lady Gaga like her meat?
A. Raw raw raw!

Q. What is red and has fangs?
A. An apple. I lied about the fangs!

Q. A duck, a cat and a cow went out to dinner, who had to pay?
A. The duck. He was the only one with a bill.

Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch-dog.

Q. What do you call an ant who studies accounts?
A. An accountANT.

Q. Why was the calculator sad?
A. Because it had too many problems to solve!

Q. What kind of teacher passes gas?
A. A tutor!

Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A. Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?!

Q. What does a polar bear use to keep his head warm?
A. A polar ice cap.

Q. What is smaller then a talking cat?
A. A spelling bee.

Q. Why did the lamb go to the river?
A. To get a BAA-th!

Q. What did the cow say to the other cow?
A. "MOOve over!"

Q. Why do hair dressers always get places faster?
A. Because they know all the short cuts.

Q. Why did the bank robber take a bath?
A. So he could make a clean getaway.

Q. What can you catch but not in your hands?
A. A cold!

Q. What is the best way to catch a squirrel?
A. Act like a nut.

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. What gets smaller as it gets higher?
A. An airplane!

Q. How do you spell mousetrap with ONLY three letters?
A. C-A-T!

Q. What did the hat say to the scarf?
A. "You can hang around. I'll just go on a head!"

Q. What's yesterday's tomorrow?
A. Today!

Q. Why was the computer late to work?
A. He had a hard-drive.

Q. What kind of fish goes great with peanut butter?
A. Jellyfish.

Q. Where do you weigh whales?
A. At the whale-weigh station.

Q. What did one burp say to the next?
A. Let's be stinkers and sneak out the back!

Q. Why did the son put his father on top of the freezer?
A. He wanted an ice pop!

Q. What is Santa's favorite snack?
A. Ho, hos!

Q. You have a candle, a stove, and a fireplace and a match. Which one would you light first?
A. The match!

Q. Why is arithmetic hard work?
A. All those numerals you have to carry.

Q. What do you call a musical insect?
A. A humbug.

Q. What can you throw but not catch?
A. A fit!

Q. What do you call a train full of toffee?
A. A chew-chew train!

Q. What is black, white and red all over?
A. An embarassed zebra!

Q. Imagine you are in a boat. You were being circled by sharks. One shark is about to bite you. What should you do?
A. Stop imagining!

Q. What do you call a person with a tree for a briefcase?
A. A branch manager.

Q. Why didn't the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?
A. Because he didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q. What kind of explosions do dinosaurs like?
A. DINOmite!

Q. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean?
A. Nothing, they just waved!

Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.

Q. What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
A. "I lava you!"

Q. What always runs, never walks, often murmurs, never talks, has a bed but doesn't sleep, has a mouth but never eats?
A. A river!

Q. What can you put in a freezer that's hot and will always come out hot?
A. Hot sauce.

Q. Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
A. Because they put on the salsa.

Q. What does a French cow say?
A. "Moo Lala!"

Q. What do you get with a kangoroo and a snake?
A. A jump rope.

Q. What did the flower say to the bike?
A. "Petal!"

Q. What did the 0 say to the 8?
A. "Nice belt."

Q. There was a man who walked into a bar and asked if he could have a glass of water but the bartender pointed a gun at him and the man who asked for water said thank you and left. Why did he say thank you?
A. Because the man had the hiccups.

Q. How many seconds are in a year?
A. 12: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd,

Q. What did the glue say to the teacher?
A. "I'm stuck on you."

Q. A women shot her husband, put him under water for 5 minutes, and then hung him. Later, they went out to dinner. How did he survive, and then go out to dinner?
A. She was a photographer!

Q. What do you get if you cross a dino and a dog?
A. A dog a sore!

Q. What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
A. Jurassic Pork.

Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-AID!

Q. Why did the young cat get arrested ?
A. For his litter!

Q. How do you stop a rhino from charging?
A. Take away its credit card.

Q. Why did the monkey cross the road?
A. Because the chicken retired.

Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!

Q. Why is the White House spotless?
A. Because it lives in WASHington!

Q. There was a train with passengers inside. Suddenly the train crashed, where would the survivors be buried?
A. No where, they are the survivors!

Q. Does a match box?
A. No, but a tin can!

Q. What do you call a dentist in the army?
A. A drill sergeant.

Q. What is black and white and red all over?
A. An injured penguin.

Q. What kind of witch lives at the beach?
A. A sandwich.

Q. Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?
A. He had no body to dance with!

Q. What has 6 legs, 4 eyes, 4 ears, 2 noses, 2 mouths and 2 heads?
A. A man sitting on a horse.

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