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Squigly's Riddles

We've got lots of funny riddles and jokes for you! By refreshing this page you will get another batch of riddles that will be sure to make you LOL! :D
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Riddles

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Q. What happens when an Egyptian prince's daddy dies?
A. His daddy becomes a mummy.

Q. How do you get 6 donkeys into a fire engine?
A. Two in the front, two in the back and two on the top going, "He-haw, he-haw!"

Q. Where did the boat go when it was sick?
A. His dock.

Q. There are 30 white horses on a red hill. They stomp, chomp and they stop. What are they?
A. Your teeth.

Q. Can you name two things that have an eye buy can't see?
A. A needle and a hurricane!

Q. What does not ask questions but must be answered?
A. A doorbell.

Q. Why did the crab cross the road?
A. To get to the other the tide.

Q. You're stuck in a cement box, all you have is a mirror and a table, how do you get out?
A. You take the mirror, you see what you saw, grab the saw, cut the table in half, one half plus one half equals one whole, you take the hole put it in the wall and walk out.

Q. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?
A. When it is read!

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. Why did Goofy take a ladder to school?
A. Because he wanted to get to high school.

Q. Which day is mostly avoided by fish?
A. FRYday!

Q. What is a crate's favorite sport?
A. Boxing!

Q. Where does a penguin go to visit his aunt?
A. ANT-arctica!

Q. Where did the hamburgers go?
A. To the Meat Ball!

Q. I am the beginning of end and the end of time and space. I am essential to creation and I surround every place. What am I?
A. The letter E!

Q. Why did the silly electrician jump over the clock?
A. So he could get some overtime!

Q. What does a hamburger name his daughter?
A. Patty.

Q. What kind of monkey can fly?
A. A hot air BABOON!

Q. How do you make a Kleenex dance?
A. You put a little boogie in it!

Q. Why did the one handed man cross the road?
A. To get to the second hand shop!

Q. Where do you get draggin' milk?
A. From a cow with short legs.

Q. Why was the elephant afraid of the computer store?
A. Because they sold the world's best mice.

Q. Why did Daniel go to the top of the school?
A. Because he wanted to go to high school.

Q. What do eagles do when they coach a sports team?
A. They wing it.

Q. What book can you look in to find words that are not true?
A. The fiction-ary!

Q. Why did the stupid racing driver make ten pit stops during the race?
A. He was asking for directions!

Q. What is an army man's favorite month?
A. March!

Q. What do you do when your fish is off?
A. You tune it up!

Q. Why would it be silly to send a letter to Washington?
A. Because he is dead.

Q. What do you get when you cross a star and a gun?
A. A shooting star!

Q. What cheese is not yours?
A. Nacho Cheese.

Q. What kind of bagel can fly?
A. A plain bagel.

Q. What do you get when you cross a parrot and a caterpillar?
A. A walkie talkie.

Q. Why was the Egyptian confused?
A. Because someone told him his daddy was a mummy!

Q. What cat likes living in water?
A. An octoPUSS!

Q. Who in the solar system has the most loose change?
A. The moon, it keeps changing quarters.

Q. Where can you find a 3 foot ruler?
A. At a yard sale.

Q. What happens if you call 611 for the police?
A. The police car comes to you upside down!

Q. Why does Waldo wear stripes?
A. Because he doesn't want to be spotted!

Q. Where do crayons go on vacation?
A. COLORado!

Q. What does a frog eat with his hamburger?
A. French Flies!

Q. How do you catch a school of fish?
A. With a bookworm.

Q. Why was the doctor angry?
A. He lost his patients.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. Are you a triangle?
A. 'Cause you sure are acute! ;)

Q. Where do pencils come from?

A. Pennsylvania.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow with a smurf?
A. Blue cheese!

Q. Which wolf got lost in the woods?
A. The WHEREwolf.

Q. What is the hardest thing to hold that even the strongest person in the world has difficulty with?
A. Your breath.

Q. What did one raspberry say to the other on Valentine's Day?
A. "I love you berry much."

Q. What's an insect's favorite sport?
A. Cricket.

Q. Why did the boy lock himself in the fridge?
A. To make himself look cooler.

Q. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
A. Pick them up and roll them back to her!

Q. How does a bee get to school?
A. On a bzz!

Q. What did the policeman say to his belly?
A. You are under a vest!

Q. Which letter comes once in a minute, twice in a millennium but never in thousand years?
A. The letter M.

Q. Which fish costs the most?
A. A gold fish!

Q. Why did the millionaire refuse to move to Alaska?
A. He didn't want to freeze his assets.

Q. What did the plow say to the tractor?
A. "Pull me a little closer, John Deere."

Q. What do you call an Italian cow that likes coffee?
A. De-calf.

Q. Why did the dinosaur bring string to the baseball game?
A. He wanted to tie up the score!

Q. Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window?
A. He wanted to see time fly!

Q. How come my uncle does not brush his hair?
A. Because he is bald.

Q. What did one leaf say to the other?
A. "See you next fall!!"

Q. Why did the Smartie go to school?
A. Because he wanted to be smarter.

Q. What kind of fish goes great with peanut butter?
A. Jellyfish.

Q. Why did the centipede go barefoot?
A. Because he couldn't afford so many shoes!

Q. What's the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost.

Q. How many sides does a circle have?
A. Two, inside and out.

Q. How do you make a sausage roll?
A. Push it down the hill!

Q. Why are fish smart?
A. Because they travel in schools.

Q. What way do the cows like to go?
A. The milky way!

Q. Where do fish keep their money?
A. In the riverbank.

Q. What kind of bug goes Zzub Zzub?
A. A bumble bee flying backward!

Q. How do you throw a tent?
A. You pitch it!

Q. How do you get rid of a boomerang?
A. Throw it down a one way street!

Q. Which month has 28 days?
A. All of them, of course!

Q. Why is history the sweetest lesson?
A. Because it is full of dates.

Q. What is a cat's favorite color?
A. PURRple!

Q. What do frogs drink?
A. Croak-a-cola.

Q. How do you stop a rhino from charging?
A. Take away its credit card.

Q. Why couldn't the girl finish her music homework?
A. Because she forgot her notebook!

Q. What do you call a bear with no ears?
A. B.

Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?
A. Art.

Q. What do you call a football team with pigs?
A. Queens Pork Rangers.

Q. What tools do you need for math?
A. MultiPLIERS.

Q. What can run, play and move around yet it cannot breath?
A. A CD or DVD!

Q. What disappears when you stand up?
A. Your lap!

Q. What type of house weighs the least?
A. A lighthouse.

Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!

Q. What do you get if you cross a porcupine and a giraffe?
A. A seven metre long toothbrush!

Q. Mary's mum had three children. One was called April, the second was May. What was the name of the last one?
A. Mary!

Q. What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A. "I love BOO!"

Q. What is a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A. A stick!

Q. Why do teachers give you homework?
A. Just to annoy you.

Q. What place has the most cows?
A. Moo York. (New York)

Q. Why did the banana factory shut down?
A. Because they chucked out all the bent ones!

Q. What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?
A. A Tyrannosaurus WRECK!

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