One day 3 people were climbing up a mountain, when they saw a genie. They went to the genie and the genie said they each could turn into one thing. So the first person went up and ran off the mountain a yelled, "Flying squirrel!" He turned into a flying squirrel.
The second person ran and said, "Bat!" and he turned into a bat.
Now it was the third person's turn, he ran and just as he was about to say what he wanted to be he saw his shoes weren't tied and he said, "Stupid shoelaces!" and, well, he became stupid shoelaces.
Trinity, age 12, USA
Screen door: Something kids get a bang out of!
Anonymous, age 9, USA
A boy showed his mom his report card and said, "Mom I'm 3rd in my class."
The mom said, "Good job!"
Then the boy said, "But there are only three boys in my class!"
Elsa, age 10, USA
Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
Linzey, age 10, USA
Martin Luther Chicken Jr. says: "I dream of a world where chickens can cross roads and not be questioned of their reason!"
Maddie, age 12, USA
Dad: Go buy us a drink.
Son: Coke or Pepsi?
Dad: Coke.
Son: Normal or diet?
Dad: Normal
Son: Bottle or can?
Dad: Bottle
Son: 1L or 0.5L?
Dad: Just go buy some water!
Son: Carbonated or normal?
Dad: Normal!
Son: Cold or hot?
Dad: Get out!
Son: Now or later?
Dad: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Layla, age 11, Canada
Joker: Want to hear a construction joke?
Friend: Sure.
Joker: Sorry, I'm still working on it!
Anonymous, age 10, UK
Three men were captured by cannibals. The cannibals got hungry so they took a man out of his cage and asked him, "You have two choices to die. You can shoot yourself or we can boil you in a soup and use your skin for our canoe."
The man said, " I will shoot myself."
Three months later the cannibals got hungry again.
They took out the second man and said, "You have two choices to die. You can shoot yourself or we can boil you in a soup and use your skin for our canoe." The man said, " I will shoot myself."
Three months later the cannibals got hungry again.
They took out the last guy and said, "You don't have a choice we are going to boil you in our soup and use your skin for our canoe. Do you have any last requests?"
The man said, "Can I have a fork?" They got him a fork and he started poking his arm while saying, "Just try to make a canoe now!"
Ryan, age 13, USA
Milkman: Are you sure you want 50 quarts of milk?
Woman: Yes, my doctor told me to take a bath of milk.
Milkman: Would you like it pasteurized?
Woman: No, Just up to my neck please.
Benjamin, age 8, USA
A teacher says to a student, "I thought I told you to go to the back of the line?"
The student says, "I did, but someone was there!"
Kelsey, age 12, America
Mom: Why aren't you doing well in history?
Child: Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!
Vannessa, age 10, United Kingdom
A penguin walks into the shop and says Have you got any apples and the shop keeper says, "No."
The next day he goes in again and asks for some apples, the shop keeper says, "No."
The next day he goes in again and asks the same thing and the shop keeper says, "No, and if you come in one more time and ask me for some apples, I will nail your feet to the floor!"
The next day the penguin goes back in the shop and says, "Have you got any nails?"
The shop keeper says, "No."
So the penguin says, "Well can I have some apples then?"
Carrie, age 11, UK
