Teacher: Make a sentence with the words deduct, defense, detail and defeat.
Boy: D-duck flies over D-fence with D-tail between D-feet
Jivan and Sristi, age 10 & 7, Canada
Teacher: Class, what is the future tense of this sentence?
I killed a handsome guy.
Cho2x: Ma'am, the future is you will go to jail!
Joshua, age 14, Philippines
This is an AB conversation so C your way out of it!
Allibennett, age 20, USA
Two girls were on their way to go to Disneyland and came to a sign that said: "Disneyland left". Then they turned around and cried all the way home.
Mae, age 11, USA
A man was late for an important meeting and asked a guy near him, "Hey, Mister. Can you call me a cab?" The guy replied back, "You're a cab."
Amber, age 14, USA
A man walked into an ice cream shop.
Man: I'd like 2 scoops of strawberry ice cream,
3 scoops of chocolate, a banana in the ice cream, a side of 5 donuts and the ice cream completely covered in chocolate syrup and sprinkles.
Waitress: Would you like a cherry on top, sir?
Man: No thanks, that might make it too fattening.
Chailyn, age 9, USA
Two kids were playing outside in the snow.
"Look! Yellow snow!" a kid observed.
"It must be lemon flavored!!!" exclaimed the other.
Ellie, age 8, USA
Two kids come to school late, and the teacher asks, "Why are you late?"
The first kid says, "I had a dream where I went around the world and met new friends and saw new places."
So the teacher asks the second kid, "Then why are YOU late???"
And the second kid replies, "I had to pick him up at the airport!"
Eros, age 11, USA
Patient: Doctor, doctor, I have only 59 seconds to live!
Doctor: Hold on just a minute.
Chailyn, age 9, USA
There were once four brothers, Everyone, Someone, Anyone and Noone. They had a very important task to do. Everyone was sure that Someone would do it. Anyone could have done it, but Noone did it in the end. Someone was angry because it should have been Everyone's job. Everyone thought that Anyone could have done it, but Noone realized that Noone will do it in the end. In the end, Everyone was angry at Someone because Noone did what Anyone could've done.
Jessica, age 15, Egypt
Teacher: George, if I gave you 2 goldfish and Markus gave you 4 goldfish, how many would you have?
George: 11
Teacher: Incorrect. You'd have six.
George: But I already have 5 goldfish at home!
Gianna, age 9, USA
Mike: Hey Jimmy. If you had ten dollars in your left pocket and ten dollars in his right pocket what would you have?
Jimmy: I'd have someone else's pants on. I'm broke!
Billy, age 7, USA
This rich man was having a party and he had a pool with a great white shark in it. He told the people at his party that the first one that makes it across the pool without getting eaten can either have his wife, his house, or his money.
Next thing he noticed is a man swimming across and getting out at the other end. The rich man said, "Congratulations! You didn't get eaten. Now you can choose what you want. Do you want my wife?"
"No."
"Do you want my house."
The man said, "No, I want the guy that pushed me in the pool!"
Tim, age 18, Europe
Four boys were late to school. One boy came into class.
Teacher: Why were you late? And what is your name?
Boy: My name is Joe and I was late because I was throwing stones into the river.
Another boy walks in the class.
Teacher: What's your name and why are you late?
Boy: My name is Bob and I was late because I was throwing stones into the river.
And another boy comes in the classroom
Teacher: What is your name and why are you late?
Boy: My name is Jake and I am late because I was throwing stones into the river.
Another boy comes in, and he is soaking wet.
Teacher: What is your name and why are you wet?!
Boy: My name is Stones and I got thrown into the river.
Emily, age 11, USA
Man at restaurant: Waiter, waiter, do you have frog's legs?
Waiter: No, sir, I always walk like this.
Emily, age 17, Canada
Snake 1: Are we venomous?
Snake 2: Yes, why?
Snake 1: I just bit my lip!
Ally, age 8, USA
One man went to a doctor and asked:
Man: Doctor, do you know how to stitch?
Doctor: Yes. Yes, of course. Why not?
Man: So, please stitch my shoe because it is broken.
Nimra, age 11, Saudi Arabia
