Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Insect

Insect Jokes

Funny insect jokes for Kids

Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about insects. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these insect jokes will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What kind of animals do clocks have?
A. Ticks.

Q. What did the bee say when he returned to the hive?
A. "Honey, I'm home!"

Q. What's the difference between a dog and a flea?
A. A dog can have fleas, but a flea can't have dogs.

Q. Why did the bee get married?
A. Because she found her honey.

Q. What do you get when you cross a parrot and a caterpillar?
A. A walkie talkie.

Q. Why can you never trust spiders?
A. Because they post stuff on the web.

Q. Why did the bee hum?
A. It forgot the words!

Q. What do you call a snail on a ship?
A. A snailor.

Q. How does a bee get to school?
A. On a bzz!

Q. What do you call a musical insect?
A. A humbug.

Q. Why did the spider buy a car?
A. So he could take it out for a spin!

Q. What did one cool bee say to the other?
A. "Buzz off, dude!"

Q. What do bees use to tidy their hair?
A. A honey comb.

Q. What do you call a bee's back?
A. It's bee-hind!

Q. Where do bees go after they are married?
A. On their HONEY-moon!

Q. What insect is an arithmetic insect?
A. A mosquito! They add to misery, subtract from pleasure, divide the attention and multiply quickly!

Q. Why don't fleas get cold?
A. They are always in fur coats!

Q. How did the man build up his flea collar business?
A. He started from scratch.

Q. What kind of place should you never take a dog?
A. To the Flea Market.

Q. Why did the spider take a laptop to the beach?
A. So it could surf the web.

Q. What did the firefly say to the other firefly?
A. "You glow, girl!"

Q. What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A. A humbug.

Q. Why was the ant confused?
A. Because all of his uncles were ants!

Q. What do you call a snail with no shell?
A. Homeless.

Q. Why did the kid run to school?
A. Because he was chased by the spelling bee.

Q. What happened to the bed bugs who fell in love?
A. They got married in the spring.

Q. What do you call a fly with no wings?
A. A walk.

Q. What insect is a coward?
A. A flea!

Q. How did the centipede run up a million-dollar doctor bill?
A. He sprained his ankle.

Q. What do you call a dancing ant?
A. A dANTcer!

Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Roach
Roach who?
Roach out and touch someone!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Abby
Abby who?
A bee just stung me!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Larva
Larva who?
I larva you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Termite
Termite who?
Termite's the night!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Honey bee
Honey bee who?
Honey bee a sweetie and get me some chips.

Jokes

A snail purchased a new sports car. He told the salesperson that he wanted the letter "S" painted on both sides of the car. The salesman asked what is the "S" for? Snail? The Snail answered, "No, when I drive by I want people to say "Wow, look at that 'S' car go!" (escargo)
 

The insects were playing against a team of flies. The flies were winning 30 to 0. At the third quarter the insects put a millepede in the game, he scored a total of 50 points. At the end of the game the coach of the flies asked the coach of the insects, "Why didn't you put the millepede in the first quarter?"
"Because it takes him forever to put his shoes on!"
 

There was a man that studied bugs. He caught a cockroach and put it on the floor of his lab, and said "Walk," and the cockroach walked. He cut off one of the legs on the cockroach and said walk again and the cockroach walked. He went on cutting off the cockroaches legs and telling it to walk. When he cut of all six of its legs the cockroach did not walk. The man wrote in his report that when you cut off all of the legs on a cockroach it becomes deaf.
 

The insects were playing against a team of flies. The flies were winning 30to 0. At the third quarter the insects put a millepede in the game, he scored a total of 50 points. At the end of the game the coach of the flies asked the coach of the insects, "Why didn't you put the millepede in the first quarter?"
"Because it takes him forever to put his shoes on!"
 

Patron: Waiter, what's this Praying Mantis doing in my soup?
Waiter: Saying grace.
 

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