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Squigly's Halloween Jokes, Riddles and Knock Knock Jokes

Boo who! Don't cry! Here is our collection of best ever Halloween riddles, knock-knock jokes and jokes. We know they will keep you LOL! To see more free jokes just refresh the page!

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Q. What do skeletons say at the front door?
A. "Crick or creak!"

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A. The trombone.

Q. You are dreaming. A monster comes up to you and takes you away. He puts you in an oven and turns it on. Any moment he will be eating you. What should you do?
A. Pinch yourself.

Q. Why did the vampire give up acting?
A. Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Q. How do phantoms travel?
A. Ghost to ghost.

Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. What happens when a ghost haunts a theatre?
A. The actors get stage fright.

Q. Where did the ghost go on vacation?
A. The BOO-hamas!

Q. What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth cleaned?
A. The dentist.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost and a goblin?
A. I don't know, but it doesn't sound good to me!

Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
A. MONSTERizer!

Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster.

Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other.

Q. What monster wears the most clothes?
A. A werewolf!

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he had no guts.

Q. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A. A pumpkin patch.

Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!

Q. What is worse than being a three hundred pound witch?
A. Being her broom.

Q. Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game?
A. Because they couldn't find their bats.

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. "You are my sunshine!"

Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!

Q. Why can't Dracula play baseball?
A. He lost his bat.

Q. Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?
A. To the living room!

Q. Where do ghosts get their mail?
A. At the ghost office.

Q. Why did Dracula go to the library?
A. He wanted a good book to sink his teeth into!

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
A. Pi.

Q. What do you call two witches who share a broom?
A. Broom mates.

Q. Why did the mummy get a headache?
A. Because he was GOBLIN his candy!

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. What pants do ghosts wear?
A. BOO jeans.

Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?
A. Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!

Q. Where is the zombie's favorite room in the house?
A. The living room.

Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!

Q. What do you call two witches that live together?
A. Broom mates.

Q. Why did the ghost join the team?
A. They needed more spirit!

Q. What is the problem with two twin witches?
A. You never know which witch is which!

Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!

Q. Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?
A. Frankenstein because Dracula sucks.

Q. What do witches call for in a hotel room?
A. Broom service.

Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A. Any old girl he can dig up.

Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Jokes

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

... more Halloween fun.

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