Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Halloween

Halloween Jokes

Knock-knock, Who's there? Boo who! Don't cry! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Halloween. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these Halloween jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. What does a panda ghost eat?
A. Bam-BOO!

Q. Why didn't the ghost go boo?
A. Because it had no guts.

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. Who did Dracula take to the movies?
A. His GHOUL friend.

Q. Why couldn't the skeleton laugh?
A. Because he lost his funny bone.

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
A. Pi.

Q. What street does a vampire live on?
A. A dead end!

Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away her W.

Q. What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth cleaned?
A. The dentist.

Q. What games do bats like to play on Halloween?
A. Anything with a ball.

Q. Where do ghosts get their mail?
A. At the ghost office.

Q. What do you read on Halloween?
A. BOO-ks

Q. What did one casket say to the other casket?
A. "Is that you coffin?" (coughing)

Q. What is a mummy's favorite kind of music?
A. Rap!

Q. What did the ghost say when it sneezed?
A. "Ahh BOO!"

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. What do skeletons say at the front door?
A. "Crick or creak!"

Q. Where does a vampire keep his money?
A. In a blood bank.

Q. Who won the zombie war?
A. Nobody, it was dead even.

Q. What does a ghost keep in its stable?
A. Nightmares.

Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!

Q. What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?
A. A cab.

Q. What did the witch say when she fell in the moat?
A. "My eels are killing me!"

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Jokes

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

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