Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Halloween

Halloween Jokes and Riddles

Spooktacular Halloween jokes!

Knock-knock, Who's there? Boo who! Don't cry! Here's our collection of Halloween jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these kid's jokes about Halloween will make you LOL! :D


Q. What do you call a pig dressed as Frankenstein?
A. FrankenSWINE.

Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. Why don't skeletons play music in church?
A. They have no organs.

Q. What do you do when you see a ghost?
A. Run away of course!

Q. What did the vampire bring to the baseball field?
A. His bats!

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. What room can't ghosts go in?
A. The LIVING room!

Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!

Q. Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?
A. Because he had no body to go with.

Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on?
A. Dead-ends.

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A. To get a spare rib .

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. Where is the zombie's favorite room in the house?
A. The living room.

Q. Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?
A. He had no body to dance with!

Q. Why didn't the ghost go boo?
A. Because it had no guts.

Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. Why did the ghost join the team?
A. They needed more spirit!

Q. What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
A. A flying Band-Aid.

Q. What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
A. Puffy!

Q. Where did the mother monster put her child when she was at work?
A. At day-SCARE!

Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Q. Where do ghosts get their mail?
A. At the ghost office.

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. Why did the ghost bring toilet paper to the party?
A. Because he was a party pooper.

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?
A. To the living room!

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank who?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!


Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.

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