Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Halloween

Halloween Jokes and Riddles

Spooktacular Halloween jokes!

Knock-knock, Who's there? Boo who! Don't cry! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Halloween. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these Halloween jokes and riddles will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.

Q. Why did the ghost join the team?
A. They needed more spirit!

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other.

Q. What time is it when you see costumes, a house, candy and hear trick-or-treat?
A. Halloween!

Q. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne!

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
A. A flying Band-Aid.

Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!

Q. What do ghosts wear on their feet?
A. BOOts.

Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.

Q. What street does a vampire live on?
A. A dead end!

Q. Did you hear about the skeleton and his girlfriend?
A. They broke up and he was shattered!

Q. Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?
A. To the living room!

Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Q. What is the problem with two twin witches?
A. You never know which witch is which!

Q. Where did the mother monster put her child when she was at work?
A. At day-SCARE!

Q. What did the ghost say when it sneezed?
A. "Ahh BOO!"

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A. "Spook when you're spooken to."

Q. Why couldn't the skeleton laugh?
A. Because he lost his funny bone.

Q. What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?
A. A wide scream TV.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Jokes

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

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