Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Halloween

Halloween Jokes and Riddles

Spooktacular Halloween jokes!

Knock-knock, Who's there? Boo who! Don't cry! Here's our collection of Halloween jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these kid's jokes about Halloween will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on?
A. Dead-ends.

Q. Why do people like vampires so much?
A. Because they are FANGtastic!

Q. Why don't skeletons fight?
A. Because they don't have the guts!

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Q. You are dreaming. A monster comes up to you and takes you away. He puts you in an oven and turns it on. Any moment he will be eating you. What should you do?
A. Pinch yourself.

Q. Where does a vampire keep his money?
A. In a blood bank.

Q. When do vampires like horse racing?
A. When it's neck and neck!

Q. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?
A. Dead ringers.

Q. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne!

Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the store?
A. To get some spare ribs.

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!

Q. Who did Dracula take to the movies?
A. His GHOUL friend.

Q. What did one casket say to the other casket?
A. "Is that you coffin?" (coughing)

Q. What games do bats like to play on Halloween?
A. Anything with a ball.

Q. Why can't Dracula play baseball?
A. He lost his bat.

Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A. Any old girl he can dig up.

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
A. "Let's get glowing."

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. What did the skeleton order with his drink?
A. A mop.

Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Jokes

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

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