Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Halloween

Halloween Jokes and Riddles

Spooktacular Halloween jokes!

Knock-knock, Who's there? Boo who! Don't cry! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Halloween. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these Halloween jokes and riddles will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What does a wolf say on Halloween?
A. "Happy HOWLoween!"

Q. Where do ghosts get their mail?
A. At the ghost office.

Q. What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
A. A flying Band-Aid.

Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!

Q. What did the little ghost say to his mom?
A. "I've got a boo boo."

Q. What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?
A. A cab.

Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!

Q. Who did Dracula bring to the prom?
A. His ghoul friend.

Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!

Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.

Q. What did the witch say when she fell in the moat?
A. "My eels are killing me!"

Q. What is the problem with two twin witches?
A. You never know which witch is which!

Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A. To get a spare rib .

Q. Why don't skeletons fight?
A. Because they don't have the guts!

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite drink?
A. Milk, it's white and good for your bones.

Q. What did one casket say to the other casket?
A. "Is that you coffin?" (coughing)

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. Why did Dracula go to the library?
A. He wanted a good book to sink his teeth into!

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. What do you read on Halloween?
A. BOO-ks

Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!

Q. Why do people like vampires so much?
A. Because they are FANGtastic!

Q. Why did the vampire give up acting?
A. Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.

Q. What monster wears the most clothes?
A. A werewolf!

Q. What did the vampire say to his wife?
A. "Your neck looks slimmer."

Q. Where does a vampire keep his money?
A. In a blood bank.

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
A. Boo!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Jokes

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

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