Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Halloween

Halloween Jokes and Riddles

Spooktacular Halloween jokes!

Knock-knock, Who's there? Boo who! Don't cry! Here's our collection of Halloween jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these kid's jokes about Halloween will make you LOL! :D

Riddles

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. Where did the ghosts go for vacation?
A. Mali-BOO.

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
A. A plumpkin!

Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
A. Boo!

Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
A. Pi.

Q. Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?
A. He had no body to dance with!

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. How did the ghost teach her class to go through the wall?
A. She went through it over and over.

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. "You are my sunshine!"

Q. Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?
A. To the living room!

Q. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?
A. Dead ringers.

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
A. MaliBOO!

Q. Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?
A. Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A. Any old girl he can dig up.

Q. What does a ghost keep in its stable?
A. Nightmares.

Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!

Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy?
A. Either a flying bandage or a gift wrapped bat!

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne!

Q. Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?
A. Because he had no body to go with.

Q. What did the witch say when she fell in the moat?
A. "My eels are killing me!"

Q. Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game?
A. Because they couldn't find their bats.

Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!

Q. Why did the ghost bring toilet paper to the party?
A. Because he was a party pooper.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Jokes

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

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