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Squigly's Halloween Jokes, Riddles and Knock Knock Jokes

Boo who! Don't cry! Here is our collection of best ever Halloween riddles, knock-knock jokes and jokes. We know they will keep you LOL! To see more free jokes just refresh the page!

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Riddles

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Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.

Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
A. MONSTERizer!

Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. SPOOKgetti!

Q. Why did the mummy get a headache?
A. Because he was GOBLIN his candy!

Q. Why doesn't a witch wear a flat hat?
A. Because there's no point in it!

Q. What is the problem with two twin witches?
A. You never know which witch is which!

Q. What does a ghost call his mom and dad?
A. His transparents.

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on?
A. Dead-ends.

Q. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A. A pumpkin patch.

Q. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A. A crummy mummy.

Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!

Q. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A. "Spook when you're spooken to."

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!

Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster.

Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other.

Q. What games do bats like to play on Halloween?
A. Anything with a ball.

Q. What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?
A. A wide scream TV.

Q. Why couldn't the skeleton laugh?
A. Because he lost his funny bone.

Q. What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A. "I love BOO!"

Q. Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?
A. To the living room!

Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he had no guts.

Q. What do you call two witches that live together?
A. Broom mates.

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. Where do ghosts get their mail?
A. At the ghost office.

Q. Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A. A scare centre!

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. Why was Dracula put in jail?
A. He tried to rob a blood bank.

Q. Where did the ghost go on vacation?
A. The BOO-hamas!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.

Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.

Q. What do ghosts wear on their feet?
A. BOOts.

Q. What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
A. Puffy!

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost and a goblin?
A. I don't know, but it doesn't sound good to me!

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. What did the vampire bring to the baseball field?
A. His bats!

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. How do phantoms travel?
A. Ghost to ghost.

Q. Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game?
A. Because they couldn't find their bats.

Q. Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?
A. Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Jokes

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

... more Halloween fun.

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