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Halloween Jokes

Knock-knock, Who's there? Boo who! Don't cry! Here is our collection of best ever Halloween riddles, Halloween knock-knock jokes and Halloween jokes. We know they will keep you LOL!


Riddles

Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Q. What did one casket say to the other casket?
A. "Is that you coffin?" (coughing)

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. What did the little ghost say to his mom?
A. "I've got a boo boo."

Q. What do skeletons say at the front door?
A. "Crick or creak!"

Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Q. Where is the zombie's favorite room in the house?
A. The living room.

Q. What pants do ghosts wear?
A. BOO jeans.

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!

Q. What did the witch say when she fell in the moat?
A. "My eels are killing me!"

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A. The trombone.

Q. What does a ghost keep in its stable?
A. Nightmares.

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Q. Did you hear about the skeleton and his girlfriend?
A. They broke up and he was shattered!

Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away her W.

Q. Why do people like vampires so much?
A. Because they are FANGtastic!

Q. What monster wears the most clothes?
A. A werewolf!

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
A. A plumpkin!

Q. What does a panda ghost eat?
A. Bam-BOO!

Q. Why did Dracula go to the library?
A. He wanted a good book to sink his teeth into!

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. What do you do when you see a ghost?
A. Run away of course!

Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!

Q. How do you know if a vampire has a sore throat?
A. You can hear him coughin'.

Q. Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?
A. To the living room!

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Jokes

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

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