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Halloween Jokes

Knock-knock, Who's there? Boo who! Don't cry! Here is our collection of best ever Halloween riddles, Halloween knock-knock jokes and Halloween jokes. We know they will keep you LOL!


Riddles

Q. Why did the ghost join the team?
A. They needed more spirit!

Q. What happens when a ghost haunts a theatre?
A. The actors get stage fright.

Q. When do vampires like horse racing?
A. When it's neck and neck!

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. "You are my sunshine!"

Q. What pants do ghosts wear?
A. BOO jeans.

Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. What do you call two witches that live together?
A. Broom mates.

Q. How do you make a skeleton laugh?
A. Tickle its funnybone!

Q. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A. "Long time no see."

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?
A. Ghoul-aid!

Q. What street does a vampire live on?
A. A dead end!

Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.

Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Q. What did the little ghost say to his mom?
A. "I've got a boo boo."

Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!

Q. Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?
A. Because he had no body to go with.

Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!

Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Q. Why didn't the ghost go boo?
A. Because it had no guts.

Q. What monster wears the most clothes?
A. A werewolf!

Q. What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
A. "Let's get glowing."

Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A. "Spook when you're spooken to."

Q. What do you read on Halloween?
A. BOO-ks

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Jokes

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

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