Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes

Knock-knock, Who's there? Boo who! Don't cry! Here is our collection of best ever Halloween riddles, Halloween knock-knock jokes and Halloween jokes. We know they will keep you LOL!

Riddles

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A. The trombone.

Q. What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
A. A flying Band-Aid.

Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.

Q. What pants do ghosts wear?
A. BOO jeans.

Q. Where did the mother monster put her child when she was at work?
A. At day-SCARE!

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A. "Long time no see."

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. What do you call a nervous witch?
A. A twitch.

Q. Why doesn't a witch wear a flat hat?
A. Because there's no point in it!

Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
A. Goulash.

Q. What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth cleaned?
A. The dentist.

Q. What does a bird say on Halloween?
A. Twick or tweet!

Q. What did the witch say when she fell in the moat?
A. "My eels are killing me!"

Q. Why did the ghost join the team?
A. They needed more spirit!

Q. What does Dracula say when he doesn't have good news?
A. "I have BAT news, everyone!"

Q. What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
A. "Let's get glowing."

Q. Why couldn't the skeleton laugh?
A. Because he lost his funny bone.

Q. What does a wolf say on Halloween?
A. "Happy HOWLoween!"

Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost and a goblin?
A. I don't know, but it doesn't sound good to me!

Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!

Q. What do ghosts wear on their feet?
A. BOOts.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. What is a mummy's favorite kind of music?
A. Rap!

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. What games do bats like to play on Halloween?
A. Anything with a ball.

Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. SPOOKgetti!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Jokes

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

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