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Halloween Jokes

Knock-knock, Who's there? Boo who! Don't cry! Here is our collection of best ever Halloween riddles, Halloween knock-knock jokes and Halloween jokes. We know they will keep you LOL!


Riddles

Q. What does a ghost keep in its stable?
A. Nightmares.

Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.

Q. Why did the ghost join the team?
A. They needed more spirit!

Q. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A. Because you can see right through him.

Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
A. Pi.

Q. What does a bird say on Halloween?
A. Twick or tweet!

Q. What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?
A. A cab.

Q. How do phantoms travel?
A. Ghost to ghost.

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on?
A. Dead-ends.

Q. Where is the zombie's favorite room in the house?
A. The living room.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. What does a panda ghost eat?
A. Bam-BOO!

Q. Why didn't the mummy answer the phone?
A. He was all tied up!

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game?
A. Because they couldn't find their bats.

Q. What is the problem with two twin witches?
A. You never know which witch is which!

Q. Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A. A scare centre!

Q. Why are ghosts always hungry?
A. Because the food goes right through them!

Q. What does Dracula say when he doesn't have good news?
A. "I have BAT news, everyone!"

Q. Who did Dracula bring to the prom?
A. His ghoul friend.

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. Why couldn't the skeleton laugh?
A. Because he lost his funny bone.

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
A. MaliBOO!

Q. What do you read on Halloween?
A. BOO-ks

Q. What do you call a pig dressed as Frankenstein?
A. FrankenSWINE.

Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
A. Shocking.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Jokes

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

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Riddles | Knock-Knock Jokes | Jokes
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Christmas Jokes | Easter Jokes | Halloween Jokes | St. Patrick's Day Jokes | Valentine Jokes

... more Halloween fun.

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