Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Halloween Jokes

Knock-knock, Who's there? Boo who! Don't cry! Here is our collection of best ever Halloween riddles, Halloween knock-knock jokes and Halloween jokes. We know they will keep you LOL!

Riddles

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. What does Dracula say when he doesn't have good news?
A. "I have BAT news, everyone!"

Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
A. A flying Band-Aid.

Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. What happens when a ghost haunts a theatre?
A. The actors get stage fright.

Q. Why don't skeletons fight?
A. Because they don't have the guts!

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
A. Pi.

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. "You are my sunshine!"

Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
A. MONSTERizer!

Q. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?
A. Dead ringers.

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Q. What is a hotdog's favorite phrase?
A. Happy HalloWEINIE!

Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away her W.

Q. Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?
A. Frankenstein because Dracula sucks.

Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. What is the problem with two twin witches?
A. You never know which witch is which!

Q. What street does a vampire live on?
A. A dead end!

Q. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne!

Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!

Q. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A. A pumpkin patch.

Q. What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?
A. Lazy bones!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Jokes

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

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