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Squigly's Halloween Jokes, Riddles and Knock Knock Jokes

Boo who! Don't cry! Here is our collection of best ever Halloween riddles, knock-knock jokes and jokes. We know they will keep you LOL! To see more free jokes just refresh the page!

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Riddles

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. Who won the zombie war?
A. Nobody, it was dead even.

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
A. "Let's get glowing."

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. When do vampires like horse racing?
A. When it's neck and neck!

Q. What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
A. A flying Band-Aid.

Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy?
A. Either a flying bandage or a gift wrapped bat!

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!

Q. Where did the ghost go on vacation?
A. The BOO-hamas!

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A. To get a spare rib .

Q. What did the little ghost say to his mom?
A. "I've got a boo boo."

Q. What does Dracula say when he doesn't have good news?
A. "I have BAT news, everyone!"

Q. What did the skeleton order with his drink?
A. A mop.

Q. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
A. The alpha-BAT.

Q. Why couldn't the skeleton laugh?
A. Because he lost his funny bone.

Q. What did the witch have for snack?
A. A sandwich.

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite drink?
A. Milk, it's white and good for your bones.

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. Who did Dracula take to the movies?
A. His GHOUL friend.

Q. What do you read on Halloween?
A. BOO-ks

Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away her W.

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?
A. Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!

Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!

Q. What is the problem with two twin witches?
A. You never know which witch is which!

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. What time is it when you see costumes, a house, candy and hear trick-or-treat?
A. Halloween!

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. Why didn't the mummy answer the phone?
A. He was all tied up!

Q. What is a ghost's favourite ride?
A. A roller-ghoster.

Q. Why doesn't a witch wear a flat hat?
A. Because there's no point in it!

Q. Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?
A. To the living room!

Q. What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A. "I love BOO!"

Q. What do you call two witches that live together?
A. Broom mates.

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!

Q. Why did the vampire give up acting?
A. Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.

Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A. Any old girl he can dig up.

Q. What room can't ghosts go in?
A. The LIVING room!

Q. What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
A. Puffy!

Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. Where does a vampire keep his money?
A. In a blood bank.

Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Q. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A. A pumpkin patch.

Q. Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
A. MaliBOO!

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. What pants do ghosts wear?
A. BOO jeans.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Jokes

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

... more Halloween fun.

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