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Squigly's Halloween Jokes, Riddles and Knock Knock Jokes

Boo who! Don't cry! Here is our collection of best ever Halloween riddles, knock-knock jokes and jokes. We know they will keep you LOL! To see more free jokes just refresh the page!

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Q. What does a ghost call his mom and dad?
A. His transparents.

Q. Who did Dracula bring to the prom?
A. His ghoul friend.

Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
A. Shocking.

Q. Why couldn't the skeleton laugh?
A. Because he lost his funny bone.

Q. Why did the vampire give up acting?
A. Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.

Q. Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?
A. Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?
A. To the living room!

Q. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
A. Lots of blood tests!

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. Why doesn't a witch wear a flat hat?
A. Because there's no point in it!

Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
A. MONSTERizer!

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
A. Boo!

Q. What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?
A. Lazy bones!

Q. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?
A. Dead ringers.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost and a goblin?
A. I don't know, but it doesn't sound good to me!

Q. What is worse than being a three hundred pound witch?
A. Being her broom.

Q. What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
A. "Let's get glowing."

Q. Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A. A scare centre!

Q. Where did the baby ghost sit?
A. In a BOOster seat!

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. What key opens a Haunted House?
A. A spooKEY!

Q. Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?
A. Frankenstein because Dracula sucks.

Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other.

Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away her W.

Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A. SPOOKgetti!

Q. What pants do ghosts wear?
A. BOO jeans.

Q. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne!

Q. What do witches call for in a hotel room?
A. Broom service.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A. Because you can see right through him.

Q. What is the radius of a pumpkin?
A. Pi.

Q. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
A. A plumpkin!

Q. What room can't ghosts go in?
A. The LIVING room!

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.

Q. Where did the ghosts go for vacation?
A. Mali-BOO.

Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!

Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he had no guts.

Q. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A. "Spook when you're spooken to."

Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
A. BOOberries.

Q. What does a wolf say on Halloween?
A. "Happy HOWLoween!"

Q. What do ghosts say to one another to show that they care?
A. "I love BOO!"

Q. Why did the ghost join the team?
A. They needed more spirit!

Q. What is a mummy's favorite kind of music?
A. Rap!

Q. Why do people like vampires so much?
A. Because they are FANGtastic!

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. What monster wears the most clothes?
A. A werewolf!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Jokes

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

... more Halloween fun.

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