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Halloween Jokes

Knock-knock, Who's there? Boo who! Don't cry! Here is our collection of best ever Halloween riddles, Halloween knock-knock jokes and Halloween jokes. We know they will keep you LOL!


Riddles

Q. What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne!

Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!

Q. What does a ghost keep in its stable?
A. Nightmares.

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. What did one casket say to the other casket?
A. "Is that you coffin?" (coughing)

Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A. Any old girl he can dig up.

Q. What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth cleaned?
A. The dentist.

Q. Who did Dracula take to the movies?
A. His GHOUL friend.

Q. Why didn't the ghost go boo?
A. Because it had no guts.

Q. What does a panda ghost eat?
A. Bam-BOO!

Q. What street does a vampire live on?
A. A dead end!

Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A. To get a spare rib .

Q. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?
A. A cariboo!

Q. What key opens a Haunted House?
A. A spooKEY!

Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A. The trombone.

Q. Why do people like vampires so much?
A. Because they are FANGtastic!

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. What time is it when you see costumes, a house, candy and hear trick-or-treat?
A. Halloween!

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. What pants do ghosts wear?
A. BOO jeans.

Q. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A. "Long time no see."

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. "You are my sunshine!"

Q. What did the vampire bring to the baseball field?
A. His bats!

Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!

Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Q. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A. Because you can see right through him.

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. What did the skeleton order with his drink?
A. A mop.

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Jokes

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

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