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Squigly's Halloween Jokes, Riddles and Knock Knock Jokes

Boo who! Don't cry! Here is our collection of best ever Halloween riddles, knock-knock jokes and jokes. We know they will keep you LOL! To see more free jokes just refresh the page!

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Riddles

Play Cool Games!
Online Game: Breakfast with Ru
Breakfast with Ru
Online Game: Math vs Monster: Intergers
Math vs Monster: Intergers
Online Game: Natural Selection
Natural Selection
Online Game: Pyxel Paper Kart
Pyxel Paper Kart
Online Game: Incident on the Farm
Incident on the Farm
Online Game: Block Escape
Block Escape
…more cool games!

Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.

Q. How do phantoms travel?
A. Ghost to ghost.

Q. Why don't skeletons play music in church?
A. They have no organs.

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. What did one ghost say to the other?
A. "Do you believe in people?!"

Q. Why can't Dracula play baseball?
A. He lost his bat.

Q. What key opens a Haunted House?
A. A spooKEY!

Q. What's a monster's favourite game?
A. Swallow the Leader!

Q. Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?
A. Because he had no body to go with.

Q. Where did the ghosts go for vacation?
A. Mali-BOO.

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?
A. A cab.

Q. What do ghosts wear on their feet?
A. BOOts.

Q. What do you read on Halloween?
A. BOO-ks

Q. Where did the ghost go on vacation?
A. The BOO-hamas!

Q. What did the vampire bring to the baseball field?
A. His bats!

Q. What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?
A. Lazy bones!

Q. What does a panda ghost eat?
A. Bam-BOO!

Q. Why doesn't a witch wear a flat hat?
A. Because there's no point in it!

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A. The trombone.

Q. Why did the mummy get a headache?
A. Because he was GOBLIN his candy!

Q. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party?
A. Anyone he can gobble up!

Q. What street does a vampire live on?
A. A dead end!

Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!

Q. Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?
A. Frankenstein because Dracula sucks.

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite drink?
A. Milk, it's white and good for your bones.

Q. What did one casket say to the other casket?
A. "Is that you coffin?" (coughing)

Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
A. MONSTERizer!

Q. What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
A. "Let's get glowing."

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. "You are my sunshine!"

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. What is worse than being a three hundred pound witch?
A. Being her broom.

Q. What does Dracula say when he doesn't have good news?
A. "I have BAT news, everyone!"

Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy?
A. Either a flying bandage or a gift wrapped bat!

Q. What do you call a nervous witch?
A. A twitch.

Q. Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game?
A. Because they couldn't find their bats.

Q. Who won the zombie war?
A. Nobody, it was dead even.

Q. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A. "Long time no see."

Q. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because he had no guts.

Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Q. What did the vampire say to his wife?
A. "Your neck looks slimmer."

Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?
A. Ghoul-aid!

Q. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A. Because you can see right through him.

Q. Why did the ghost join the team?
A. They needed more spirit!

Q. What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?
A. Sherlock Bones!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Jokes

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

... more Halloween fun.

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Crafts
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Jokes
Pencil Puzzles
Pencil Puzzles
Coloring Pages
Coloring Pages
Brain Teasers
Brain Teasers
Mad Libs
Mad Libs
Seasons & Holidays
Seasons & Holidays
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