Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Halloween

Halloween Jokes

Spooktacular Halloween jokes!

Knock-knock, Who's there? Boo who! Don't cry! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Halloween. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these Halloween jokes will make you LOL! :D


Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A. A crummy mummy.

Q. What do skeletons say at the front door?
A. "Crick or creak!"

Q. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A. Because you can see right through him.

Q. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A. A pumpkin patch.

Q. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
A. Because everyone was a goblin!

Q. What monster wears the most clothes?
A. A werewolf!

Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
A. Spoke!

Q. How do ghosts like their eggs?
A. Terror-fried.

Q. How do you make a skeleton laugh?
A. Tickle its funnybone!

Q. Did you hear about the skeleton and his girlfriend?
A. They broke up and he was shattered!

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. What school subject is a witch good at?
A. Spelling.

Q. Why didn't the mummy answer the phone?
A. He was all tied up!

Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.

Q. What street does a vampire live on?
A. A dead end!

Q. What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?
A. A wide scream TV.

Q. What is a mummy's favorite kind of music?
A. Rap!

Q. What room can't ghosts go in?
A. The LIVING room!

Q. What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth cleaned?
A. The dentist.

Q. Who won the zombie war?
A. Nobody, it was dead even.

Q. What does a ghost call his mom and dad?
A. His transparents.

Q. What happens when a ghost haunts a theatre?
A. The actors get stage fright.

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. When do vampires like horse racing?
A. When it's neck and neck!

Q. What key opens a Haunted House?
A. A spooKEY!

Q. Why doesn't a witch wear a flat hat?
A. Because there's no point in it!

Q. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?
A. Dead ringers.

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank who?


Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.

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