Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Jokes: Halloween

Halloween Jokes

Spooktacular Halloween jokes!

Knock-knock, Who's there? Boo who! Don't cry! Here's our collection of funny jokes, riddles and knock knock jokes about Halloween. All these jokes have been submitted by kids visiting our playhouse. We know these Halloween jokes will make you LOL! :D





Riddles

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. How do phantoms travel?
A. Ghost to ghost.

Q. What do ghosts like for dessert?
A. BOOberry pie!

Q. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
A. "Spook when you're spooken to."

Q. Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game?
A. Because they couldn't find their bats.

Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice SCREAM and BOOberries!

Q. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A. Because you can see right through him.

Q. Who did Dracula take to the movies?
A. His GHOUL friend.

Q. What room can't ghosts go in?
A. The LIVING room!

Q. Why doesn't a witch wear a flat hat?
A. Because there's no point in it!

Q. What did the vampire bring to the baseball field?
A. His bats!

Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!

Q. Why did the vampire give up acting?
A. Because he couldn't find a part he could sink his teeth into.

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. "You are my sunshine!"

Q. What does a panda ghost eat?
A. Bam-BOO!

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."

Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.

Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"

Q. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?
A. French FRIGHTS!

Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy?
A. Either a flying bandage or a gift wrapped bat!

Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
A. Noise!

Q. What did the vampire say to his wife?
A. "Your neck looks slimmer."

Q. What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?
A. A flying Band-Aid.

Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on?
A. Dead-ends.

Q. Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A. A scare centre!

Q. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He was a pain in the neck!

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Jokes

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

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