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Halloween Jokes

Knock-knock, Who's there? Boo who! Don't cry! Here is our collection of best ever Halloween riddles, Halloween knock-knock jokes and Halloween jokes. We know they will keep you LOL!


Riddles

Q. Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?
A. Because he wanted to get some muscles!

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A. "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."

Q. What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?
A. A cab.

Q. Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?
A. He had no body to dance with!

Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
A. Any old girl he can dig up.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!

Q. What do you call two witches that live together?
A. Broom mates.

Q. What is a hotdog's favorite phrase?
A. Happy HalloWEINIE!

Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost, a dog and a rooster?
A. A cockatoo!

Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. "You are my sunshine!"

Q. Why are ghosts always hungry?
A. Because the food goes right through them!

Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!

Q. What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
A. Puffy!

Q. How was Frankenstien's birth?
A. Shocking.

Q. How do you make a witch itch?
A. Take away her W.

Q. Why can't Dracula play baseball?
A. He lost his bat.

Q. What do ghosts wear on their feet?
A. BOOts.

Q. What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?
A. A wide scream TV.

Q. What did the ghost put on his bagel?
A. SCREAM cheese!

Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.

Q. Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?
A. Because there was a dog on the other side.

Q. What do you call a pig dressed as Frankenstein?
A. FrankenSWINE.

Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A. The trombone.

Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.

Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.

Q. What does a wolf say on Halloween?
A. "Happy HOWLoween!"

Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Q. What did the witch say when she fell in the moat?
A. "My eels are killing me!"

Knock knock Jokes

Knock, knock
Who's there?
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Didn't mean to scare you!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Ivana
Ivana who?
Ivana suck your blood.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Wolves say
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo! who?
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frankenstein!

Jokes

A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, "Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?"
The waitress said, "Sir, we really can't serve that kind of horrid food here."
The ghost replied, "Well, you did yesterday!"
 

Patty came up to a boy with a sheet over his head on Halloween and asked, "Are you a ghost?"
The boy replied, "No, of course not! I'm an unmade bed!"
 

A skeleton went to the doctor. The doctor looked at the skeleton and said, "Aren't you a little late?"
 

Robert: Did you hear about the goblin that lost his left leg and his left arm?
Alan: No, is he ok?
Robert: Yes. He's all right now!
 

A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a girl on his back.

Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be?
Billie Bob Joe: A turtle.
Harold: What do you mean?
Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
 

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
Patient: Will it make me better?
Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.
 

Monster: It is a very hot day today!
Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade?
Monster: Yes!
Witch: Poof! You're lemonade!
 

A skeleton walks in to a bar. He goes to the bartender and says, "I'm going to need a beer and a mop."
 

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Riddles | Knock-Knock Jokes | Jokes
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