Q. What did the vampire say to his wife?
A. "Your neck looks slimmer."
Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on?
Q. What is a skeleton's favourite drink?
A. Milk, it's white and good for your bones.
Q. What do ghosts eat for dinner?
Q. Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?
A. A scare centre!
Q. What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
A. "Let's get glowing."
Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Q. What do you call candy corn?
A. Pumpkin poop!
Q. When do vampires like horse racing?
A. When it's neck and neck!
Q. What do you do when you see a ghost?
A. Run away of course!
Q. What's a vampire's favourite part of the guitar?
A. The neck.
Q. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?
A. A plumpkin!
Q. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?
A. Dead ringers.
Q. Why didn't the skeleton want to go to the dance?
A. Because he had no body to go with.
Q. Why don't skeletons fight?
A. Because they don't have the guts!
Q. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A. A pumpkin patch.
Q. Where does a vampire keep his money?
A. In a blood bank.
Q. What kind of candy won't a ghost touch?
A. Life Savers.
Q. What do you call two witches who share a broom?
A. Broom mates.
Q. What do you call a dead person in the closet?
A. The 1966 hide-and-go-seek champion.
Q. Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
Q. What do you call a nervous witch?
A. A twitch.
Q. Why don't you eat ghosts?
A. They'll go right through you.
Q. What does Frankenstein's wife wear on her face to keep it smooth?
Q. Why was the little ghost crying?
A. Because he wanted his mummy.
Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"
Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. "You are my sunshine!"
Q. What kind of dog does a vampire have?
A. A bloodhound.
Q. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?
A. A Hallo-weenie!
Q. What did the ghost say to his wife?
A. "You look so BOOtiful."
Q. What do you get when two skeletons dance in a biscuit tin?
Q. Why can't you tell a skeleton a secret?
A. Because it goes in one ear and out the other.
Q. Where do ghosts get their mail?
A. At the ghost office.
Q. What is a ghost's favorite color?
Q. You are dreaming. A monster comes up to you and takes you away. He puts you in an oven and turns it on. Any moment he will be eating you. What should you do?
A. Pinch yourself.
Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.
Q. What is a mummy's favorite kind of music?
Q. Why did the mummy get a headache?
A. Because he was GOBLIN his candy!
Q. What did the ghosts eat for dinner?
Q. What is a witch's favourite food?
Q. What time is it when you see costumes, a house, candy and hear trick-or-treat?
Q. What song do vampires hate?
A. Here Comes The Sun!
Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.
Q. Why couldn't the skeleton laugh?
A. Because he lost his funny bone.
Q. What pants do ghosts wear?
A. BOO jeans.
Q. Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
A. To get a spare rib .
Q. What do you get when you cross a ghost and a goblin?
A. I don't know, but it doesn't sound good to me!
Q. What does Dracula say when he doesn't have good news?
A. "I have BAT news, everyone!"
Q. What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?
A. A cab.
Q. What did the skeleton say before a meal?
A. Bone appetite!
The ghost and the invisible man
The ghost and the invisible man who?
Long time no see!
Ivana suck your blood.
No, no, don't cry! I was just kidding.
Orange you glad it's Halloween?!
Wolves say who?
Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!
Didn't mean to scare you!