Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!
Q. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A. A crummy mummy.
Q. How did the frozen chicken cross the road?
A. In a shopping bag.
Q. What do vampires never order at a cafe?
A. A STAKE sandwich!
Q. Where does the Easter bunny eat breakfast?
Q. What did the man say to the butcher at the deli?
A. "I never sausage a place"
Q. What do cows like to put on their sandwiches?
Q. What do you call a chimp that likes to eat potato chips?
A. A chip-monk!
Q. Why did the baker stop making doughnuts?
A. He was annoyed with the HOLE business.
Q. What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards?
A. "Dill me in!"
Q. Why are school cafeteria workers cruel?
A. Because they batter fish, beat eggs, and whip cream.
Q. What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A. A Blood Orange.
Q. What is long, green and slowly turning red?
A. A cucumber holding its breath!
Q. Why did the boy scream when he opened the fridge?
A. Because he saw the salad dressing.
Q. What did the skeleton say after dinner?
A. "Everything I eat goes right through me!"
Q. How do you make a sausage roll?
A. Push it down the hill!
Q. What did the cake say to the fork?
A. "You want a piece of me?"
Q. What would happen if pigs could fly?
A. Bacon would go up!
Q. Why did the Smartie go to school?
A. Because he wanted to be smarter.
Q. How did Burger King propose to his girlfriend?
A. With an onion ring.
Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. An elephant that's dressed up in a banana skin.
Q. What did Sergeant Peanut Butter shout to his jelly police officers?
A. "Spread out, men!"
Q. What happens to cereal when you add legs?
A. It gives it a little kick!
Q. What do you call a pig that gets fired from his job?
A. Canned ham!
Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. I scream.
Q. Where do ghosts buy their food?
A. At the GHOSTery Store.
Q. What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
A. "You go on without me, I'll ketchup!"
Q. What do you call a train full of bubble gum?
A. A chew-chew train.
Q. What is a math teacher's favourite dessert?
Cheese a cute girl!
Wiener you going to get here?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken!
Peas let me in now!
Ice Cream who?
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!
Cereal pleasure to meet you!
Ketchup and I'll tell you!