Q. What do a tree and an elephant have in common?
A. A trunk.
Q. How do you know an elephant is under your blanket?
A. Because when you get in your bed your nose touches the ceiling.
Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. An elephant that's dressed up in a banana skin.
Q. How does a elephant get out of a tree?
A. He climbs on a leaf and waits till autumn!
Q. How do you eat an elephant?
A. One bite at a time.
Q. What did the elephant say to her son when he was naughty?
A. "Tusk tusk!"
Q. What has big ears and shouts "HUT! HUT! HUT!"?
A. An elephant quarterback.
Q. Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?
A. So he wouldn't get his tennis shoes wet.
Q. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses?
A. Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.
Q. What do you get when an elephant sky dives?
A. A big hole.
Q. What is big, grey and has a lot of red bumps?
A. An elephant that was stung by a lot of bees!
Q. What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?
A. Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. Because the chicken retired!
Q. How do you hunt for elephants?
A. Hide in a bush and make a noise like a peanut.
Q. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants?
A. "Look, a herd of elephants!"
Q. How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?
A. Grapes are purple.
Q. Why did the elephant paint his fingernails red?
A. So he could hide in a bowl of cherries.
Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A. A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Q. What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A. He called a tow truck.
Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a parrot?
A. An animal that tells you everything it remembers!
Q. What kind of ant is so strong that it can knock down trees?
A. An elephant.
Q. What time is it when an elephant sits in a chair?
A. Time to buy a new chair!
Q. Why couldn't the two elephants go swimming together?
A. Because they only had one pair of trunks!
Q. What do you call an elephant with a machine gun?
Q. What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
Q. Why couldn't the elephant move?
A. Because he couldn't lift his trunk!
Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A. Time to get a new fence.
Q. Why doesn't the elephant use the computer?
A. Because it is afraid of the mouse!
Q. How do pachyderms hear?
A. It doesn't matter - it's ear elephant (irrelevant).
Q. Why do elephants have trunks?
A. They'd look pretty stupid with glove compartments.