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Elephant Jokes

What's big, grey and laughing out loud? An elephant reading Squigly's Elephant jokes. Here are the best elephant riddles and elephant jokes we've heard. We know these jokes and riddles will make you LOL! :D


Riddles

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. An elephant that's dressed up in a banana skin.

Q. What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an elephant?
A. Great big holes all over Australia.

Q. What do you call an elephant with a machine gun?
A. Sir!

Q. Why do elephants have trunks?
A. They'd look pretty stupid with glove compartments.

Q. How do you eat an elephant?
A. One bite at a time.

Q. Why did the elephant paint his fingernails red?
A. So he could hide in a bowl of cherries.

Q. What goes down but never goes up?
A. An elephant in an elevator.

Q. Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkly?
A. Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an aspirin!

Q. What do a tree and an elephant have in common?
A. A trunk.

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.

Q. What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
A. Stuck!

Q. Why did the elephant stay on the marshmallow?
A. Because she didn't want to fall in the hot cocoa.

Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a parrot?
A. An animal that tells you everything it remembers!

Q. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants?
A. "Look, a herd of elephants!"

Q. Why couldn't the elephant move?
A. Because he couldn't lift his trunk!

Q. What do you call an elephant on the road?
A. A speed bump.

Q. What has big ears and shouts "HUT! HUT! HUT!"?
A. An elephant quarterback.

Q. What kind of ant is so strong that it can knock down trees?
A. An elephant.

Q. Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?
A. So he wouldn't get his tennis shoes wet.

Q. What did the elephant say to her son when he was naughty?
A. "Tusk tusk!"

Q. How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?
A. Grapes are purple.

Q. What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?
A. Nothing, he just let out a little wine.

Q. Why do elephants have wrinkles?
A. Ever tried to iron an elephant?

Q. What is big, grey and has a lot of red bumps?
A. An elephant that was stung by a lot of bees!

Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. Because it was the chicken's day off.

Q. How do you know an elephant is under your blanket?
A. Because when you get in your bed your nose touches the ceiling.

Q. What do you get when an elephant sky dives?
A. A big hole.

Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. Because the chicken retired!

Q. What's big and grey with horns?
A. An elephant marching band!

Q. How do you hunt for elephants?
A. Hide in a bush and make a noise like a peanut.

Jokes

A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo.

The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo."
The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
 

Down in the south where coconuts grow, an elephant stepped on a mosquito's toe. The mosquito jumped up with tears in his eyes and said, "Excuse me but you're not my size."
 

Policeman: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle.
Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.
 

Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant?
Mother: I don't know.
Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.
 

An elephant asked an ant, "Please hide me." So the ant replied, "Hide behind me."
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

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