Q. How do you know an elephant is under your blanket?
A. Because when you get in your bed your nose touches the ceiling.
Q. There were two elephants under one umbrella, why didn't they get wet?
A. It wasn't raining.
Q. What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
Q. Why couldn't the two elephants go swimming together?
A. Because they only had one pair of trunks!
Q. What is big, grey and has a lot of red bumps?
A. An elephant that was stung by a lot of bees!
Q. How do pachyderms hear?
A. It doesn't matter - it's ear elephant (irrelevant).
Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a parrot?
A. An animal that tells you everything it remembers!
Q. What do you call an elephant with a machine gun?
Q. Why do elephants have wrinkles?
A. Ever tried to iron an elephant?
Q. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
A. Swimming trunks!
Q. Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?
A. So he wouldn't get his tennis shoes wet.
Q. Why doesn't the elephant use the computer?
A. Because it is afraid of the mouse!
Q. Why couldn't the elephant move?
A. Because he couldn't lift his trunk!
Q. What kind of ant is so strong that it can knock down trees?
A. An elephant.
Q. What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an elephant?
A. Great big holes all over Australia.
Q. How do you fit four elephants in a red mini?
A. Two in the front and two in the back.
Q. How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge?
A. There are footprints in the butter.
Q. How do you know if there are two elephants in your fridge?
A. You can hear them talking.
Q. How do you know if there are three elephants in your fridge?
A. You can't close the door.
Q. How do you know if there are four elephants in your fridge?
A. There's a red mini in your driveway.
Q. What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?
A. Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A. Time to get a new fence.
Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A. A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Q. What do you call elephants that swim?
A. Swimming trunks!
Q. What's big, grey and has red spots?
A. An elephant with chicken pox!
Q. Why was the elephant afraid of the computer store?
A. Because they sold the world's best mice.
Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!
Q. What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A. He called a tow truck.
Q. What do you call an elephant on the road?
A. A speed bump.
Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
Q. Why did the elephant stay on the marshmallow?
A. Because she didn't want to fall in the hot cocoa.
Q. How do you eat an elephant?
A. One bite at a time.
Q. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants?
A. "Look, a herd of elephants!"
Q. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and put the elephant in and then close the door.
Q. How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and take out the elephant and put the giraffe in, then close the door.
Q. The animals were having a meeting in the jungle. Who didn't come?
A. The giraffe, it was in the refrigerator.
Q. A man was hiking in the jungle. He came to a river. In the river lived alligators. How did the man cross the river?
A. He swam across, the alligators were at the meeting.