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Elephant Jokes

What's big, grey and laughing out loud? An elephant reading Squigly's Elephant jokes. Here are the best elephant riddles and elephant jokes we've heard. We know these jokes and riddles will make you LOL! :D


Riddles

Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. The chicken couldn't be bothered!

Q. Why did the elephant stay on the marshmallow?
A. Because she didn't want to fall in the hot cocoa.

Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
A. Elephino.

Q. What has big ears and shouts "HUT! HUT! HUT!"?
A. An elephant quarterback.

Q. What do you call an elephant with a machine gun?
A. Sir!

Q. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses?
A. Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.

Q. Why couldn't the elephant move?
A. Because he couldn't lift his trunk!

Q. Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?
A. So he wouldn't get his tennis shoes wet.

Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. Because it was the chicken's day off.

Q. What do a car, tree and an elephant have in common?
A. They all have trunks!

Q. What's big and grey with horns?
A. An elephant marching band!

Q. What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
A. Stuck!

Q. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and put the elephant in and then close the door.

Q. How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and take out the elephant and put the giraffe in, then close the door.

Q. The animals were having a meeting in the jungle. Who didn't come?
A. The giraffe, it was in the refrigerator.

Q. A man was hiking in the jungle. He came to a river. In the river lived alligators. How did the man cross the river?
A. He swam across, the alligators were at the meeting.

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A. Time to get a new fence.

Q. Why couldn't the two elephants go swimming together?
A. Because they only had one pair of trunks!

Q. What kind of ant is so strong that it can knock down trees?
A. An elephant.

Q. What did the elephant say to her son when he was naughty?
A. "Tusk tusk!"

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. Why do elephants have trunks?
A. They'd look pretty stupid with glove compartments.

Q. What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?
A. Nothing, he just let out a little wine.

Q. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
A. Swimming trunks!

Q. How do you fit four elephants in a red mini?
A. Two in the front and two in the back.

Q. How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge?
A. There are footprints in the butter.

Q. How do you know if there are two elephants in your fridge?
A. You can hear them talking.

Q. How do you know if there are three elephants in your fridge?
A. You can't close the door.

Q. How do you know if there are four elephants in your fridge?
A. There's a red mini in your driveway.

Q. What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
A. Lost.

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. An elephant that's dressed up in a banana skin.

Q. What is big, grey and has a lot of red bumps?
A. An elephant that was stung by a lot of bees!

Q. What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A. He called a tow truck.

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits in a chair?
A. Time to buy a new chair!

Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. Because the chicken retired!

Q. What's big, grey and has red spots?
A. An elephant with chicken pox!

Q. Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkly?
A. Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an aspirin!

Jokes

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

An elephant asked an ant, "Please hide me." So the ant replied, "Hide behind me."
 

Down in the south where coconuts grow, an elephant stepped on a mosquito's toe. The mosquito jumped up with tears in his eyes and said, "Excuse me but you're not my size."
 

Policeman: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle.
Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.
 

Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant?
Mother: I don't know.
Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.
 

A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo.

The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo."
The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
 

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