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Squigly's Elephant Jokes, Riddles and Knock Knock Jokes

What's big, grey and laughing out loud? An elephant reading Squigly's Elephant jokes. Here are the best elephant riddles and jokes we know of. If you'd like to read some different ones, just refresh the page. We know these jokes and riddles will make you LOL! :D
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Elephant Jokes

   


Riddles

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Q. How does a elephant get out of a tree?
A. He climbs on a leaf and waits till autumn!

Q. Why do elephants have trunks?
A. They'd look pretty stupid with glove compartments.

Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. The chicken couldn't be bothered!

Q. Why doesn't the elephant use the computer?
A. Because it is afraid of the mouse!

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A. Time to get a new fence.

Q. What do a tree and an elephant have in common?
A. A trunk.

Q. What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?
A. Nothing, he just let out a little wine.

Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. Because the chicken retired!

Q. What do a car, tree and an elephant have in common?
A. They all have trunks!

Q. What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an elephant?
A. Great big holes all over Australia.

Q. Why did the elephant stay on the marshmallow?
A. Because she didn't want to fall in the hot cocoa.

Q. Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkly?
A. Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an aspirin!

Q. Why was the elephant afraid of the computer store?
A. Because they sold the world's best mice.

Q. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants?
A. "Look, a herd of elephants!"

Q. What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
A. Lost.

Q. How do you fit four elephants in a red mini?
A. Two in the front and two in the back.

Q. How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge?
A. There are footprints in the butter.

Q. How do you know if there are two elephants in your fridge?
A. You can hear them talking.

Q. How do you know if there are three elephants in your fridge?
A. You can't close the door.

Q. How do you know if there are four elephants in your fridge?
A. There's a red mini in your driveway.

Q. Why couldn't the elephant move?
A. Because he couldn't lift his trunk!

Q. Why did the elephant paint his fingernails red?
A. So he could hide in a bowl of cherries.

Q. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses?
A. Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.

Q. How do you eat an elephant?
A. One bite at a time.

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.

Q. What did the elephant say to her son when he was naughty?
A. "Tusk tusk!"

Q. There were two elephants under one umbrella, why didn't they get wet?
A. It wasn't raining.

Q. What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A. He called a tow truck.

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. An elephant that's dressed up in a banana skin.

Q. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and put the elephant in and then close the door.

Q. How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and take out the elephant and put the giraffe in, then close the door.

Q. The animals were having a meeting in the jungle. Who didn't come?
A. The giraffe, it was in the refrigerator.

Q. A man was hiking in the jungle. He came to a river. In the river lived alligators. How did the man cross the river?
A. He swam across, the alligators were at the meeting.

Q. Why do elephants have trunks?
A. Because they would look funny with a suitcase.

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits in a chair?
A. Time to buy a new chair!

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. Why do elephants have wrinkles?
A. Ever tried to iron an elephant?

Q. What is the same size as a elephant, yet weighs nothing?
A. An elephant's shadow!

Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
A. Elephino.

Q. What goes down but never goes up?
A. An elephant in an elevator.

Q. What do you get when an elephant sky dives?
A. A big hole.

Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A. A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

Q. What's big, grey and has red spots?
A. An elephant with chicken pox!

Q. Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?
A. So he wouldn't get his tennis shoes wet.

Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. Because it was the chicken's day off.

Q. What is big, grey and has a lot of red bumps?
A. An elephant that was stung by a lot of bees!

Q. How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?
A. Grapes are purple.

Q. What's big and grey with horns?
A. An elephant marching band!

Q. Why couldn't the two elephants go swimming together?
A. Because they only had one pair of trunks!

Q. What do you call an elephant on the road?
A. A speed bump.

Q. How do you hunt for elephants?
A. Hide in a bush and make a noise like a peanut.

Q. What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
A. Stuck!

Q. How do you know an elephant is under your blanket?
A. Because when you get in your bed your nose touches the ceiling.

Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a parrot?
A. An animal that tells you everything it remembers!

Jokes

Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant?
Mother: I don't know.
Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.
 

An elephant asked an ant, "Please hide me." So the ant replied, "Hide behind me."
 

Down in the south where coconuts grow, an elephant stepped on a mosquito's toe. The mosquito jumped up with tears in his eyes and said, "Excuse me but you're not my size."
 

Policeman: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle.
Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.
 

A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo.

The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo."
The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
 

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