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Elephant Jokes

What's big, grey and laughing out loud? An elephant reading Squigly's Elephant jokes. Here are the best elephant riddles and elephant jokes we've heard. We know these jokes and riddles will make you LOL! :D


Riddles

Q. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses?
A. Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.

Q. What do a car, tree and an elephant have in common?
A. They all have trunks!

Q. Why doesn't the elephant use the computer?
A. Because it is afraid of the mouse!

Q. What is the same size as a elephant, yet weighs nothing?
A. An elephant's shadow!

Q. How do you hunt for elephants?
A. Hide in a bush and make a noise like a peanut.

Q. How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?
A. Grapes are purple.

Q. What has big ears and shouts "HUT! HUT! HUT!"?
A. An elephant quarterback.

Q. What do you get when an elephant sky dives?
A. A big hole.

Q. What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A. He called a tow truck.

Q. Why did the elephant paint his fingernails red?
A. So he could hide in a bowl of cherries.

Q. What do you call an elephant on the road?
A. A speed bump.

Q. Why couldn't the two elephants go swimming together?
A. Because they only had one pair of trunks!

Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. The chicken couldn't be bothered!

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A. A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits in a chair?
A. Time to buy a new chair!

Q. What's big and grey with horns?
A. An elephant marching band!

Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a parrot?
A. An animal that tells you everything it remembers!

Q. How do you know an elephant is under your blanket?
A. Because when you get in your bed your nose touches the ceiling.

Q. What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an elephant?
A. Great big holes all over Australia.

Q. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and put the elephant in and then close the door.

Q. How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and take out the elephant and put the giraffe in, then close the door.

Q. The animals were having a meeting in the jungle. Who didn't come?
A. The giraffe, it was in the refrigerator.

Q. A man was hiking in the jungle. He came to a river. In the river lived alligators. How did the man cross the river?
A. He swam across, the alligators were at the meeting.

Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. Because it was the chicken's day off.

Q. What do you call an elephant with a machine gun?
A. Sir!

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.

Q. Why do elephants have trunks?
A. They'd look pretty stupid with glove compartments.

Q. What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
A. Lost.

Q. What do a tree and an elephant have in common?
A. A trunk.

Q. What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
A. Stuck!

Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
A. Elephino.

Q. Why do elephants have trunks?
A. Because they would look funny with a suitcase.

Jokes

Policeman: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle.
Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.
 

Down in the south where coconuts grow, an elephant stepped on a mosquito's toe. The mosquito jumped up with tears in his eyes and said, "Excuse me but you're not my size."
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

An elephant asked an ant, "Please hide me." So the ant replied, "Hide behind me."
 

Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant?
Mother: I don't know.
Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.
 

A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo.

The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo."
The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
 

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