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Elephant Jokes

What's big, grey and laughing out loud? An elephant reading Squigly's Elephant jokes. Here are the best elephant riddles and elephant jokes we've heard. We know these jokes and riddles will make you LOL! :D


Riddles

Q. Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?
A. So he wouldn't get his tennis shoes wet.

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. How do you eat an elephant?
A. One bite at a time.

Q. What do you call an elephant with a machine gun?
A. Sir!

Q. How do you know an elephant is under your blanket?
A. Because when you get in your bed your nose touches the ceiling.

Q. Why did the elephant wear red tennis shoes?
A. To hide in the strawberry patch!

Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. Because the chicken retired!

Q. How does a elephant get out of a tree?
A. He climbs on a leaf and waits till autumn!

Q. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants?
A. "Look, a herd of elephants!"

Q. What has big ears and shouts "HUT! HUT! HUT!"?
A. An elephant quarterback.

Q. What do you get when an elephant sky dives?
A. A big hole.

Q. Why couldn't the two elephants go swimming together?
A. Because they only had one pair of trunks!

Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a parrot?
A. An animal that tells you everything it remembers!

Q. How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?
A. Grapes are purple.

Q. What do you call an elephant on the road?
A. A speed bump.

Q. Why doesn't the elephant use the computer?
A. Because it is afraid of the mouse!

Q. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses?
A. Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.

Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. Because it was the chicken's day off.

Q. What kind of ant is so strong that it can knock down trees?
A. An elephant.

Q. What is the same size as a elephant, yet weighs nothing?
A. An elephant's shadow!

Q. What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A. He called a tow truck.

Q. What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?
A. Lost.

Q. What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
A. Stuck!

Q. What do a tree and an elephant have in common?
A. A trunk.

Q. There were two elephants under one umbrella, why didn't they get wet?
A. It wasn't raining.

Q. What did the elephant say to her son when he was naughty?
A. "Tusk tusk!"

Q. Why do elephants have wrinkles?
A. Ever tried to iron an elephant?

Q. What do you call elephants that swim?
A. Swimming trunks!

Q. Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkly?
A. Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an aspirin!

Q. What's big, grey and has red spots?
A. An elephant with chicken pox!

Jokes

Down in the south where coconuts grow, an elephant stepped on a mosquito's toe. The mosquito jumped up with tears in his eyes and said, "Excuse me but you're not my size."
 

Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant?
Mother: I don't know.
Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.
 

Policeman: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle.
Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.
 

A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo.

The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo."
The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
 

An elephant asked an ant, "Please hide me." So the ant replied, "Hide behind me."
 

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

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