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Elephant Jokes

What's big, grey and laughing out loud? An elephant reading Squigly's Elephant jokes. Here are the best elephant riddles and elephant jokes we've heard. We know these jokes and riddles will make you LOL! :D


Riddles

Q. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants?
A. "Look, a herd of elephants!"

Q. What did the elephant say to her son when he was naughty?
A. "Tusk tusk!"

Q. What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an elephant?
A. Great big holes all over Australia.

Q. What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?
A. Nothing, he just let out a little wine.

Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. The chicken couldn't be bothered!

Q. How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?
A. Grapes are purple.

Q. What's big, grey and has red spots?
A. An elephant with chicken pox!

Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. Because it was the chicken's day off.

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A. Time to get a new fence.

Q. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses?
A. Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.

Q. Why did the elephant stay on the marshmallow?
A. Because she didn't want to fall in the hot cocoa.

Q. What kind of ant is so strong that it can knock down trees?
A. An elephant.

Q. Why is an elephant big, grey and wrinkly?
A. Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an aspirin!

Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A. A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. Because the chicken retired!

Q. What is the same size as a elephant, yet weighs nothing?
A. An elephant's shadow!

Q. Why do elephants have trunks?
A. They'd look pretty stupid with glove compartments.

Q. What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A. He called a tow truck.

Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a parrot?
A. An animal that tells you everything it remembers!

Q. What do you call elephants that swim?
A. Swimming trunks!

Q. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and put the elephant in and then close the door.

Q. How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and take out the elephant and put the giraffe in, then close the door.

Q. The animals were having a meeting in the jungle. Who didn't come?
A. The giraffe, it was in the refrigerator.

Q. A man was hiking in the jungle. He came to a river. In the river lived alligators. How did the man cross the river?
A. He swam across, the alligators were at the meeting.

Q. What do a car, tree and an elephant have in common?
A. They all have trunks!

Q. What is yellow on the outside and gray on the inside?
A. A school bus full of elephants!

Q. How do you hunt for elephants?
A. Hide in a bush and make a noise like a peanut.

Q. Why did the elephant paint his fingernails red?
A. So he could hide in a bowl of cherries.

Q. Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?
A. So he wouldn't get his tennis shoes wet.

Q. What do you get when an elephant sky dives?
A. A big hole.

Q. Why did the elephant wear red tennis shoes?
A. To hide in the strawberry patch!

Q. What do you get when you cross a dog, a goat and an elephant?
A. A dogophant.

Q. How do you fit four elephants in a red mini?
A. Two in the front and two in the back.

Q. How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge?
A. There are footprints in the butter.

Q. How do you know if there are two elephants in your fridge?
A. You can hear them talking.

Q. How do you know if there are three elephants in your fridge?
A. You can't close the door.

Q. How do you know if there are four elephants in your fridge?
A. There's a red mini in your driveway.

Jokes

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant?
Mother: I don't know.
Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.
 

A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo.

The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo."
The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
 

Policeman: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle.
Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.
 

An elephant asked an ant, "Please hide me." So the ant replied, "Hide behind me."
 

Down in the south where coconuts grow, an elephant stepped on a mosquito's toe. The mosquito jumped up with tears in his eyes and said, "Excuse me but you're not my size."
 

If you'd like to some more elephant jokes, just reload the page.

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