Squigly Jokes and Riddles

Elephant Jokes

What's big, grey and laughing out loud? An elephant reading Squigly's Elephant jokes. Here are the best elephant riddles and elephant jokes we've heard. We know these jokes and riddles will make you LOL! :D


Riddles

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits in a chair?
A. Time to buy a new chair!

Q. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses?
A. Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.

Q. What did the elephant say to her son when he was naughty?
A. "Tusk tusk!"

Q. How does a elephant get out of a tree?
A. He climbs on a leaf and waits till autumn!

Q. What's big, grey and has red spots?
A. An elephant with chicken pox!

Q. What is big, grey and has a lot of red bumps?
A. An elephant that was stung by a lot of bees!

Q. What's big and grey with horns?
A. An elephant marching band!

Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
A. Elephino.

Q. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants?
A. "Look, a herd of elephants!"

Q. What do you call an elephant with a machine gun?
A. Sir!

Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a parrot?
A. An animal that tells you everything it remembers!

Q. Why couldn't the two elephants go swimming together?
A. Because they only had one pair of trunks!

Q. What do a tree and an elephant have in common?
A. A trunk.

Q. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and put the elephant in and then close the door.

Q. How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
A. You open the door and take out the elephant and put the giraffe in, then close the door.

Q. The animals were having a meeting in the jungle. Who didn't come?
A. The giraffe, it was in the refrigerator.

Q. A man was hiking in the jungle. He came to a river. In the river lived alligators. How did the man cross the river?
A. He swam across, the alligators were at the meeting.

Q. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A. Time to get a new fence.

Q. What do a car, tree and an elephant have in common?
A. They all have trunks!

Q. Why did the elephant cross the road?
A. Because it was the chicken's day off.

Q. Why do elephants have trunks?
A. Because they would look funny with a suitcase.

Q. Why doesn't the elephant use the computer?
A. Because it is afraid of the mouse!

Q. How do you hunt for elephants?
A. Hide in a bush and make a noise like a peanut.

Q. Why did the elephant paint his fingernails red?
A. So he could hide in a bowl of cherries.

Q. How do you eat an elephant?
A. One bite at a time.

Q. What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A. He called a tow truck.

Q. Why did the elephant float down the river on his back?
A. So he wouldn't get his tennis shoes wet.

Q. What goes down but never goes up?
A. An elephant in an elevator.

Q. What is the same size as a elephant, yet weighs nothing?
A. An elephant's shadow!

Q. Why did the elephant stay on the marshmallow?
A. Because she didn't want to fall in the hot cocoa.

Q. What has big ears and shouts "HUT! HUT! HUT!"?
A. An elephant quarterback.

Q. What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?
A. Stuck!

Q. Why did the elephant wear red tennis shoes?
A. To hide in the strawberry patch!

Jokes

Did you know the most fattening food in the world is peanuts? Well have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
 

Down in the south where coconuts grow, an elephant stepped on a mosquito's toe. The mosquito jumped up with tears in his eyes and said, "Excuse me but you're not my size."
 

A guy and his elephant are driving and get pulled over. The policeman says, "You need to take the elephant to the zoo." So the guy took his elephant to the zoo.

The next day, the same policeman pulls over the same guy and elephant. The policeman says, "I told you to take the elephant to the zoo."
The guy says, "I did yesterday, today we are going to a baseball game."
 

An elephant asked an ant, "Please hide me." So the ant replied, "Hide behind me."
 

Peter: Mother, why is a snail stronger than an elephant?
Mother: I don't know.
Peter: Because a snail can carry its own home, but an elephant can only carry its own trunk.
 

Policeman: One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle.
Zoo keeper: Nonsense, none of my elephants know how to ride a bicycle.
 

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